greentext thread
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
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>greentext thread
I guess I'll dump
bump
Anyone actually reading these?
>>687753690
I have read every single one and holy shit bro
>>687753690
i hope he at least sucked your dick to say thank you
>>687753891
Then I shall post more!
>>687753690
That guy is now my fucking hero...ive done shit like that to save peoples ass
>>687752884
sweet story
the more the merrier
>>687754389
Holy shit im dying
1/3
I'll post some fantastic incest love
>>687754946
3/3
>>687754504
I have a friend named chan holy shit haha
Last one!
>>687751899
Greentext thread not feels thread newfag
>>687751899
>his face when
>>687755320
Feels greentext=greentext
>>687752536
I relate to that. Wouldn't help people live unless there was something in it for me.
>>687756127
God damn dude
I present to you the story of the majestic salmon.
Bump
>>687755320
>complains but won't contribute.
faggot
>>687757771
>6 posts away from quads
FUCK
bumpity
>>687754149
I kekd
>>687751899
Uh...ok..what happened after he went to the woods..anything interesting..because the rest of it was shit, boring and not funny..oh I get it, that's what makes it funny because you are shitposting..I understand now, you are the bot from the new ylyl threads
>>687751899
What a shitty greentext
>>687752595
Holy shit my sides
>>687753690
I am
>>687751899
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-baoSWy8jY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4G5BAQhLzMw
>>687752227
oh for fucks sake. Now i have to start the day in a shitty mood.
>>687752693
Fucking great, worth the read if anyone's wondering.
>>687758500
He probably cried sitting under a tree, I know I wouldve
>>687759859
Honestly not sure whether I'm jealous of him or scared for him.
>>687752227
:'(
>>687752424
haha lost it to this..also nice dubs
>>687754389
Fake!
This was in a SeaNanners and Sark video (yeah, NormieTube)
>>687752227
No worries, she is waiting in heaven for him.
>>687754389
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OZTB2kKm0Y&list=PLwFRVq2iIJrI5F_9aoTlzOWHh72AAgyVX&index=67
>>687752536
Good. Some bitch like that fucked me up for life in 6th grade with her fucking headgames. I wish I had the satisfactionon watching her die like that anon.
>>687754699
my sides are in another dimension
>>687756254
Wowowowow
>>687754811
This sort of shit freaks me out. I wonder if I've ever ruined someone's sanity from my 911 call.
>>687752536
Good fucking riddance to that bitch
>>687765152
hot
>>687754996
I enjoyed this way too much.
>>687751899
I'm all out. Great thread, OP. Thanks.
>>687767144
>kek
>>687766808
fucking kek
On behalf of lurkers, thanks gois.
>>687768090
I'm fem and I just died.
God bless this poster.
>>687753082
...holy shit lel
>>687759859
That shook me bones
>>687768268
This was a good read. I couldn't stop picturing Foodbro as pic related.
>>687758300
Fuck you :,(
>>687768802
My death was swift.
>>687768366
show u bobs , i horney
>>687770351
I's lergic to tatos
Bump
Bump#2
Bump#3
Bump#4
Bump#5
Bump#6
Anyone lurkin' or did the Thread die?
Anyways, bump.
>>687756127
thats like a whole future gone
>>687772074
Lurkin like a ghurkin
>>687771625
GET OUT
>>687771673
>>687771698
Are you a wizard?
>>687751899
Since of Mericans of living of an exigency/emergency of a technology so I am of communication of spiel of technology of text of:_"-------\_
Three/3 communications/explanations/informations/texts of a technology:
1/One: body muscle movement caused/since of energies at human caused/since of energies sent from machines far of miles/kilometers;
and/or/an-other-communication of 2/Two: human of technology of machines...machines transmit/send energy...energy at/striked/hitting metals in human...metals moved/arranged...so/causing/thus...electricity of in of body so...body muscle flexing of human of living of tensing/slackening of muscle;
and/or/an-other-communication of 3/Three: STIMULATION OF BODY-MOVING/LIKE-SENSE SINCE OF ELECTRICITY OF CAUSED OF IN OF BODY SINCE 1. tiny metals in human 2. metals moved since of energies striked/hitting metals 3. energies sent/from machine far/distant/not-close/no-nearness of miles.
_/-------"_:-_
I got/received a text of communication/question/ask of technology of body muscle flexing caused of energies of machines far of miles:_"\_ Everyone knows this already. How do you fix it. _/"_:-_ . I am of communication/answer/reply of letter of word of language of text of:_"\_ Humans of policing/military live of:_[\_ slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles since of brain of body of since of human of living of brain of body of since of sense/sensation of communication/text/speech of computer program software of language of words of anything/everything/eachthing/allthings of human of living of _{-\_[-\_ slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles _/-]_{--\_[--\_ and _/--]_ and _[--\_ or _/--]_/--}_[-\_ flexing of muscles so of living of muscle of nearer and and or farther of muscle _/-]_/-}_/]_:-_/"_:-_
Dumpin' what I have, cmon /b/ros
>>687772074
aww, yeah
>>687772543
Thank you for dumping!
Probably my favorite extremely long green text.
>>687751899
JESUS CHRIST GUYS
I'VE BEEN LURKING AND POSTING, I RAN OUT OF MATERIAL A LITTLE AGO
BUT
>OMINOUS SQUEAKING UPSTAIRS THE WHOLE TIME I'M MAKING MY RAMEN
>JUST CHECKED IT OUT
>FRIEND'S DAD FAPPING WITH DOOR OPEN
>HIS BED IS SQUEAKING AND ALL I HEAR IS THE SCHLUPPING OF LUBE, IT WON'T STOP
>KILL ME
>>687756127
what. the. fuck.
>>687774041
>HE'S STARTED MOANING
>I CAN'T EAT MY RAMEN LIKE THIS
>HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN
>>687768366
tits or gtfo bitch
>>687774550
Keking very fucking hard at this shit
>>687759859
I assume theres no cont. From this, but boy do i wanna know how his life is now. Did he die? Has baby got him in on her murders?
Post faster faggots. I don't want to sleep
>>687753287
Oh god... that was painful to read.
>>687774041
>>687774550
>IT STOPPED
>HE CAME DOWNSTAIRS
>SAT ON THE COUCH BEHIND ME
>SIGH OF CONTENTMENT
>"Our internet connection really isn't that bad."
>MFW
>>687754811
>>687754895
>>687754946
I don't know why but I love these types of stories.
>>687772482
are you a time-traveler?
>>687752203
I kek'd.
>>687752227
it's like you jabbed me in the feels
>>687772838
I want anon's Dad
>>687752424
noice
>>687759859
I want to believe.
>>687776017
Pretty shitty of him to get her hopes up by kissing her like that. Hope he feels like shit.
>>687774685
As far as I know this guy never updated. So I either assume he is still Baby's servant or he is on 5 pieces on her body horror dungeon
>>687777419
yeah... no pity. dudes an ass.
i have more greentext stories but i'm not sure if i should post them because mostly of them are from feels threads
>>687777419
Seriously.
>>687778167
Just post 'em
>>687778167
post
>>687778167
You don't need our fuckin permission dude post what you wanna post. It's not like we're having some deep discussion that you'd derail by doing so.
>>687778382
>>687778226
>>687778487
ok, i'll post all i have
>>687778167
dump the feels, friend
>>687752424
lost.
>>687778487
Fuck
Hey guys, im looking for a greentext with a dude filming 2 people fucking outside, but theres a duck on the background and the camera man focused on that instead.
>>687777777
>>687778632
Fuck..
>>687778810
The fucking mouse icon is pissing me off
>>687753287
are people like this actually real? holy shit
>>687759859
dewd...
>>687779384
Thats the picture! Do you have the greentext aswell?
>>687778993
...damn
>>687779295
I dont feel sorry for this dude at all he's a fucking piece of shit. I would of killed to have a mother while I was growing up and not only does this dude have one but he treats her like shit to even though she is literally ready to die for him if it will make his life easier, then expects our sympathy afterwards?
no. fuck this dude. I hope he fucking dies all alone without anyone shedding a tear for him after a lifetime of misery. fucking cunt
>>687779295
I hate my mother. It seems like this should make me sad, but I don't relate to it.
My mother kept me alive, kept a roof over my head. She also raised me like shit. She might have well have just been food stamps, a home someone donated to me, and taxi money.
It's almost like she kept me alive to abuse me, to keep me alive so she can hold me back in life, to set me up for failure, to work against my attempts at success.
I would've been better off without parents at some point.
A small government funded studio, government funded food supply, and school.
I wanted an education.
Some money for my hobbies wasn't bad.
Fuck that bitch.
>>687779904
I do not
>>687779863
This one always makes the rounds on these threads.
It makes me lose a little faith in humanity every time I read it.
Such senseless cruelty, against family of all people.
And it's not like he's an anomaly.
>>687779460
>could've spent that time trying to find friends
>could've told his situation to /soc/, /adv/, /b/
>could've found friends to hang out at the mall with to talk about minecraft and drink smoothies or sometime
>accidentally fucked up a 15 year old's life because I didn't want to rp anymore so I faked my own death
>>687780011
>be me
>orphan fag
>stay at orphanage with other orphan fags
>ff to 12
>get molested by the new carer
>manipulates me into not telling anyone
>after a few months cant handle it anymore
>run away
>homeless for 3 years until I save up enough money to rent a P.O.S apartment
>work shitty bullshit jobs
>never had friends or gf coz my early life made me socially fucked
>ff to now
>same circumstances
>come back home from same job to same apartment
>come on /b/
>read your post saying how hard it was living with your mom because she was poor or whatever
kys faggot
unless she beat you and/or molested you then just shut the fuck up
bumperino
>>687752536
hoyl fuck i started heavily breathing this is a bit too much man
Bump
>>687759859
This didn't have the story book "happy ending", where everyone's problems are fixed.
I'm not sure either of them are happy at the end.
And even this kind of fucked up story never happens.
>>687771673
>>687771698
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH
THATS TOO MUCH YOU FUCKING PSYCOPATH
Bummpp
>>687781080
Oh god, the emotions... this is one of the many reasons, both voluntary and not, why I'm never having kids.
Or getting married.
>>687781629
fuck you
>>687781579
ruined it with gay edgyness
>>687771483
I actually cried, like for real :'(
>>687781629
>tfw my 2 childhood cats both died this week age 12
>>687781629
FUCK cats
selfish little shits
>>687781345
fuck
>>687752536
You should be put down like the dog you are.
>>687752793
>i am my own grandpa
kek'd hard
>>687754811
Jesus Ive never even thought about the fact that they need to remain calm no matter what the situation is
>>687769853
he was described as being "heavier" and as being a gym lad, that picture u have is probably bonybro
>>687782198
>hurr durr this guy posted a screenshot of a story so he must of been the one who wrote it
Bumpp
>>687780319
>It makes me lose a little faith in humanity every time
Anon, people do stupid shit when they're young, the more mature and wiser should be tolerate of that while also carrying the younger through so they may grow old and help the young, help educate the young, help build the young.
>>687779863
>I
>was
>a monster
>I
He identified himself.
>was
He identified what he was.
He changed, he wasn't that person anymore.
He's a better person.
>a monster
He identified that it wasn't right, indicating that were he the person he is now, he wouldn't have done the cruel thing.
Things like this could be prevented if parents and guardians were more knowledgeable and put more effort into educating their children and raising them to be better than themselves, helping their children prevent bad things, and achieve good things.
Honestly, parents have been shit, and they still are shit.
>>687782410
The respect for food lives within him.
His happiest moment is when he receives a refrigerator with a lock.
God, I love One Piece...
>>687782198
Dogs are actually pretty cool people. Were my dog intelligent enough to identify that I was in need, he'd fucking help my ass.
>>687754284
fucking lost
>Be me
>19 year old fucktard.
>barely passes highschool do to health issues
>starts college
>barely week into college
>Grandmother gets cancer
>woman practically raised me on her own
>duck out of school for a week to go see
>Shes barely fucking alive
>Doesnt even acknowledge my existence on the first few visits
>first month in school and im already fucking up cause i cant concentrate
>Slowly gains concious over time
>but still in fucking pain
skip to november
>after high hopes things look grim again
>my family doesnt know what the fuck to do
> Im still not doing good in classes.
> december comes and time for break
>barely passes class
> a week before christmas , A close cousin of mine gets violently stabbed to death
>No apparent reason,still dont know who did it WTF
>things get worse for granny, the place treating her is planning to kick her out
>january comes, almost time to go back to school
>but I havent been visiting Granny as much since I cant emotionally handle it,
>mom tells me granny looked very sad that I didnt visit the last few times
> Me+Guilt= I feel like a total peice of shit, decide to use the last week before I go back to school to be with her
>Day of the first "visit", Mom gets call while Im in the shower ,
>Grandmas dead
>died in fucking pain, alone and consious. In a strange and uncomfortable place becuase the first place kicked her out
>My feelings are non-exisitent, can barely register reality, starts going over the facts
>forces my self to speed up mourning
>My family has time to heal
> i have 4 days to get my shit together before i go back to school
>Surrounded by fresh faced faggots who probably had a leave it to beaver christmas
>Attended funeral and rushed back for shitty two hour lecture on the sameday
> i shutdown for nearly 3 months
> don't talk to noone, fail most of my clases.
>essentially spend most of time on the secluded 3rd floor of main building
> staring out windows and listening to depressing spanish music(mexifag btw)
Cont?
>>687783007
Cont
>>687780825
Something like that happened to me
>be 12-16
>one of my best friends is an aussie
>met playing wow during bc
>we talked all the time, mostly when I got home from school and friends and always over weekends
>eventually when I was 15 I went and stayed with him for a few weeks
>best time of my life almost nonstop partying for 2 solid weeks
>dude drank like a fish but always looked like total shit in the morning
>I just chocked it up to him being hungover I mean hell he drank alot but the crazy fuck couldn't hold his liquor for shit
>after like 4 shots and a couple beer he'd be wasted but he'd just keep on going all night
>I didnt think much of it at the time just figured he was a silly aussie
>well soon after I got home I stopped hearing from him for a while
>this was strange for me seeing as how I talked to him everyday for the last 3 years
>found out he was in the hospital but he wouldn't tell me why, he just said he'd be back before long and not to worry
>well about 2 months went by and I finally see him again
>we're video chatting on skype and the dude looks like death
>he was kind of a large dude before not too tall but pretty weighty but now he looked like a stick
>I was worried about him and tried to talk with him about what was going on but he blew it off and just kept on going like we always did
>things got better and life was good I was hanging out with my friends from school I was getting drunk with my girlfriend and her dad and I was chatting with my best friend on the other side of the world
>then one day he just up and disperses, not a word, nothing just gone
>I'm kinda worried but I just figure he's been busy with his new job or something or maybe he visiting some family
>6 months go by and I still haven't heard from him and i'm getting more and more frantic everyday when suddenly I get an email from him
>it's his sister
>apparently Figs had pancreatitis and had been dealing with it for years
Bbuummpp
>>687783007
Continue
>>687782198
Smells like summer spirit
>>687773401
fucking kek
>>687783240
>after a particularly intense binge Figs started vomiting blood and had to be hospitalized again
>for 4 months he struggled in the hospital before he was finally healthy enough to go home
>and the first thing the bastard did was down an entire 4th of whiskey
>he died in the ambulance on the 18th of october 2009
it's been 7 years and I still miss that crazy fucker. I hope you're having a good ol' drunkin time wherever you are Figs
Just opened the thread, but if anyone has posted the guy who got a vasectomy and his gf got pregnant and tried telling him it was his, may you redirect me to it?
I'll be reading all the shit anyway.
>>687783925
kek, I would of raped her.
>be me
>be special snowflake
>I don't relate to my mom well
>I don't relate to my dad well
>I related more to my dad than my mom
>I don't relate to all other family well
>I don't really relate well to anyone I've ever known
>be such a special snowflake that I'm okay with that
>>687780319
i feel the same bro. the guy in the story is just lucky his sister didn't know he was being a cunt. if she did id bet everything i have she'd never want to have anything to do with him again
>>687783752
>dad doesn't want pokemon in his house
lol
Bumperino
>>687759859
>she fucking killed 2 people but those stories "werent interesting enough to include"
>what the fuck
>>687784422
Check 'em
>>687762509
oooooh heeeeeeelllll naw
>>687784777
TRIPS
Check 'em!
>>687783007
>Just going through the motions.
>show up to class
>Go upstairs to mourn
>Go to apartment to end the day.
>barely get sleep
>whenever I try working on something my mind drifts
>When I do sleep, nothing but depressing nightmares
>Latent anger issues ive had for years flair up again
>start punching walls randomly
>Narrowly avoid fights
>Still have health issues,can throw a punch but can be overpowered easliy
>Wasnt much of socialite to begin with
>remaining social skills and integrity go out the fucking window
Cont
>>687784777
my fucking trips
>>687784884
Cont
>>687784578
>>687784831
you dont say check em you fucking newfag, you say check'd.
check em is for when YOU have the get
check'd is for when it someone elses get
how fucking new are you?
>>687785040
calm down i'm still learning. My gf said ya'll are a welcoming community.
>>687754635
Took me a few seconds...
then i lost it
>>687784205
kek
>>687785040
few weeks, sorry anon
>>687785333
>>687784777
both of my fucking trips, check em
>>687781080
messages from my mom. normally more but i delete them frequently. never respond.
the greentext made me think of this
>>687785420
jsut fucking respnd, whats holding you back
