off yourself, easiest way.

jury duty
get hit by a bus

>>687713885
gud 1
be original fagit

>>687713964
no jury duty in UK

can i ask why you want it off? and what you do?

why is missing work so important for tomorrow

Why not just fucking deal with it

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>>687714058
>>687714089

im a lazy cunt with no shame

>>687713794
What kind of work?

Family member in hospital so you have to stay and help take care of their kids

>>687714219
bar, dealing with people
the worst kind

>>687714291
family shit doesn't work my close cousin works there. ty for the contribution tho

Tell them you ran out of money to take the tube, governor!

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>>687714302
Oh damn I think your finger is broken. Oh noooooooo

>>687714509
lol it's like a 30's walk to the bar.
ty for contribution tho

>>687714302
Dead pet
got out of bed and hurt knee
Stood out of car and hurt back (ive actually done this)
ingrown toenail which you cant put weight on
friend ran over foot while helping him move a (item)
car wont start
grandparents incredibly sick

just to name a few?

>>687713794
I recommend pink eye. Easy to fake and no one wants that contagious shit around at a bar.

>>687714635
having to take a friends pet to be put down (ive used this)

If it's a gay bar just tell your employer your asshole is far to sore to be at work.

>>687714678
>>687714635
easiest way to injure myself/get pinkeye?

>>687714635
a migraine

also why cant you call in sick?

>>687714872
Being a faggot

>>687714872
fake it? you dont want permanant injuries to get off a 9 hour shift you fat fuck

>>687714978
you fucking hilarious
original as fuck
snowflake

>>687713794
I dropped my 4 footer on my big toe while taking a massive bong rip. Gotta go see the doctor. Aaayy LMAO.

>>687713794
Quit

>>687714872
If you want legit pink eye, you're gonna have to get some poo particles in there. I do not recommend this.

Instead, rub a small amount of soap in your eye. Or you can just keep fucking around with it until it's bloodshot.

>take pic of beet-red eye
>send to boss
>have fun Saturday off work

>>687713794
Basically anything that involves safety op.
If you come up with a way to call out and it basically be by saying you could be harmed while driving or something. Maybe your vehicle is malfunctioning and you Don't have any other transportation.

A company can't make you work if safety is a problem.

>>687714872
Stick a finger in ur ass then rub your eye, not eyelid, with said finger n wait.

>>687715002
minor injury to get me off work>
Easiest way im smashed so i can injure myself without it atally hurting too much

>>687715356
not bad
i could just poke the fuck out of one of my eyes?
do you recommended?

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>>687713794
family emergency

>>687713794
>cannot call in sick
what kind of shit tier job do you have that you can't call in sick?
fuck that place.

>>687715675
I recommend you go to work.

>>687715776
im not a fucking pussy
im not afraid to fuck myself up somehow
gimmi come good ideas faggits

>>687715173
im poor as fuck just need this weekend off
also get in trouble not for not handing in a months notice

>>687715905
punch yourself in the face repeatedly and say you got mugged.
since you're "not a fucking pussy".

>>687715714
im not a good lire
also it will be awkward as fuck

>>687716135
friend did a similar thing but got heavily involved in the police, seem more effort than its woth

>>687715675
Yessir, far better than putting poop in your eye

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>>687716447
might give it a shot
but how long does it last
smear shampoo in my eye?

>>687715905
Smash beer bottles on your head till you're bleeding, punch self in face, take pics n say you got mugged.

Stab self in side n say you got mugged.

Have friend/bum kick you in the knee, from the side, so that it breaks then have them rough up your face, say you got mugged.

>>687716135
Kekekek, you beat me to the punch.

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you're actually all fuck bois

Tell him you died the night before so you cant make it until monday

>>687716630
As long as you wash it out right after sending pic, shouldn't last too long. No more than 15 to 30 min of agitation

>>687717255
gud 1 you 12 year old cunt

>>687714044
Yes there is

>>687717553
really,
goes back to the earlier point, i have a cousin working there so it wont really work

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>>687715158
This.
OP is a faggot.

>>687718051
defo
not worth givning the 12yo faggit a reply imo

Just say you have food poisoning. Campylobacter infections are v v common in summer, last 1-2days Max, and don't need antibiotics/Hosp treatment so you wouldn't need to get a doctors note. No one expects u to come into work with severe diarrhoea, fever, ab cramping and rigors

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Just don't turn in then make up a convincing bullshit excuse when you go back

>>687718368
easiest way to get diarrhoea?
don't want to be sick for more than 1-2 days i have an exam soon {why i dont want to got to work need to revise}

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Call in an anonymous bomb threat.

>>687718368
Agreed.
Explosive diarrhea is a game changer.

>>687718809
how do i get it, need to plaster the toilet if im gonna use this?