>>687638247
This one whit cookie is fucking amazing

kicked the shit out of some degenerate alcoholic who was yelling at his GF on the side of the road calling her a cunt, twat, etc.
we pulled a u turn and he started running but we tackled him and stomped on his fucking head, i broke his cranium in 16 pieces, still on probation for it.

>>687638247
>i dont seed my torrents
thats pretty fucked up dude

>>687638247
fb
aleeyah.porter.9

>>687638247
>i dont seed my torrents

well fuck you edgelord.

>>687638247
>be me
>at a party
>frat type bros in the kitchen
>brought a six pack of MGD
>bros try to take my beer but I head them off
>devise plan
>finish a beer
>take empty bottle to bathroom
>piss in the emplty bottle and twist cap back on
>replace bottles in the six pack as i finish them
>repeat the process until all beers are actually my piss
>check back at the end of the night to realize all the beers i left are now gone

>>687638247
>tricked some cute weeaboo chick into giving me a blowjob and swallowing my load

Horrible.

>>687638247
you sound like a shit op.
>>687638822
hooray feminism.

>this guy's girlfriend leaves him becuase he is a total shit
>we're not really close but after he's been stuck in her ass for over a year he's got no friends so he comes to me for support
>he wants to meet up all the time, calls me everyday and whines about having nothing to left to live for
>everytime we meet he just cries about her, being a dick in general and doesn't care about anyone
>tell him he is a shitty person and no wonder she left him
she called me later that night telling me she had to talk him out of jumping off a roof.
>also pressured a chick into swallowing my semen. you know how it is.

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Broke up with my girlfriend on her dads funeral, and on the way home I accidentally ran her cat over.

>she hates me kek

>>687639580
this is just being a shit person

>>687639580
Holy fuck I laughed. That's terrible

>>687638247
>>687638247

Introduce couple of friends to 4chan.

>>687639680
Welcome to the 21st century pal.

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>>687638247
>i dont seed my torrents
fucking bastard

>>687639462

merican beer or piss

no difference

I keep this friend around and use him do things for me, take me anywhere I want, buy me things etc.
I know he's into me but I don't find him attractive.

sometimes he fades away, I just text him with a bit of 'miss u' or 'it's been a while, I'm worried about you'. then he's back.

>>687638247
wtf man how could you not seed your torrents

>>687638247
>go to prom with friends
>one of my friends is really in love with this bookworm girl, like head over heels with her
>ceremony starts
>we all get to dance and music is starting
>he wants to ask her out
>hes nervous and starts sweating
>tries but chickens out and goes to the bathroom
>other friends follow him
>all alone now
>go to chick and ask her out
>we dance
>friends comeback
>friend sees me with his crush dancing and hugging
>shes still my gf
>his face was priceless

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rape this bitch

> I had girlfriend who were in other city
> the girl from picture is my best friend
> I fell in love with her since I met her 10 years ago
> always in friendzone
> We go to a party with my best friend (pic) and she get drunk
> she fall asleep and totally drunk
> I fuck her pussy twince
> cum in seconds
> never told to anyone

>>687638822
fucking white knight. didnt get any pussy, did you?

>>687639067
next he'll be saying he had sex with someone for the sole purpose of procreation.

Doesn't seed his torrents, indeed!

Catfished a girl for three and a half years online from long distance chatting, skyping, calling but only used her for nudes and to get me off. She told me she loved me constantly I lied and said I did to would use it to get her to send me pictures and shit "if you love me you'll" she put her life on hold for me but then I got a actual gf and stopped talking to her checked back half a year later had hundreds of messages i contacted her back said I got arrested for drug dealing but I'm back now had her send nudes of her sister said to prove she still loves me and had her send me cash she stole from her parents how ever much she could get (her family was loaded) said if she did I'd be able to fly down to her get a job and live with her once I got it I got a new phone deleted all the accounts and never talked to her again. I was 15-18 she was 13-16

>>687638247

How exactly do you "trick" someone into sucking your dick?

>>687641575
Extortion most likely

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>>687638247
>tricked some cute weaboo chick into giving me a blowjob and swallowing my load.
How?

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Revealing the most obscure secret my best friend had because he betrayed me with my gf.
Now everybody hates him and he has suicidal thoughts

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>>687639822
Do you think assholes didn't exist since the dawn of mankind? You are a massive pussy bro

>>687640159
You two should just become a couple. Even if you are not a homosexual it really seems like he cares for you and is worth keeping close.

>>687638822
Fucking white knight retard. Abd u got in trouble for it too lmao how stupid can you be?

>>687638822
You're a fucking idiot

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>>687638822
>yfw the girls was a cheating whore (or something of that magnitude) and the shouting was called for

>>687640958
moar pics?

>>687638247
>>tricked some cute weeaboo chick into giving me a blowjob and swallowing my load


explain

>>687641792
Tell us the secret faggot

>>687642358
>Demand greentext op

>>687638247
>I was assfucking my gf one time and felt bored so I peed in her ass. Shit was funny as hell, took me like 4 minutes to limp down enough to do it.

>Peed in a Vodkabottle and made punch for a whole party.

>Baked a 3 story Cake for my sisters ex sons baptism. Jerked off in the cake, her whole family ate my cum.

>Got a couple of older guys arrested when I was a kid after they threatened to beat me up in a mall by stealing cigarettes and giving them, then telling them they were stealing it.

> Once at a sport tournament I was competing in some guys threatened to beat us up, I fell on my bike the same day. We beat the shit out of them, the police came later and I showed them the bruises, they were already known at the police, so they were sent to Juve.

>Fucked my ex sister at her house and in her car.

Good times.

>>687639462
>at a party
>brought a six pack of MGD

Wild times

>>687641575
it's a long story so i'll explain it fast.
>went to visit my friends and my old high school because i changed schools
>noticed this cute girl hanging out by herself
>called her over and we started talking
>got her number
>months later we hung out at some park
>tells me shes never kissed a guy or anything
>asked her out then and there
>told her to blow me because thats what girlfriends do
>she did it
>went home and never spoke to her again
i got drunk one night and messaged her i loved her, she told me to fuck off and because of me shes afraid of men
lol

Cucked a dude in hs when his gf had a crush on me. I just asked her if she wanted to fuck and she agreed. Ended up calling him from her phone and leaving it close by so he could hear her moan. I was just being a bro and letting him know his girl is a ho

>>687638247
Here's one. One time I went to the bathroom
>And didn't wash my hands

>>687642023
He/she doesn't find him attractive. Follow the story dumbass

>>687642497
> After a business deal gone sour these dudes were trying to crush us. I hacked into their mail and framed them for theft. They are both in jail now.

>>687639809
You monster

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idk

>>687641792
Whats the secret?

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>>687638247
>i dont seed my torrents

I hope you die...
In flames

>>687642599
I bought and planted heroin on a roommate at a bar that was a bully and wouldn't move out.
Getting caught with heroin here is like a year in jail.

>>687638247
sent few porn-clips of me and aMILF to their husband

>>687642807
Go back to 9gag.

>>687639809
Eh... like the equivalent of introducing someone to funnyjunk these days.

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>>687642472
>>687642472
Well... he was gay and he was used to hang out with a lot of guys and now hes alone because they dont whant to be hes friends anymore.

>>687642497
>ex sister
H-how does one get out of being someone's sister?

>>687642561
I once got into a fight with my ex.
>I took the labels off her make up and let her play guess the lipstick

>>687643093
I'm not him, but my decryption skills tell me he meant to say "ex's sister".

>>687638822
White knight faggot. You deserve getting put in jail

I saved a bunch of selfies from a thread here, then when I knew my ex was on a date with her new boyfriend I started sexting him saying last night was great cum back tonight for more and stuff

>the breakup was instant and intense,
>she came running back to me that night

>>687638247
You fucking asshole. Someone did the meth/cocaine thing to me when I was 16

>Guy gets cocky with me on facebook
>Find out where he works
>Send his manager a messaged from anon email that he watchs child porn and i will go to the media if they don't fire him
>fired next day

Somehow they believed me

>>687643071
lmao your girl cheated on your with a fag?
fucking beta

About a month ago I was at a party and I thought it wouod be funny to piss and shit in the tank of a toilet, no one new it was me and everyone thought it was this autistic guy who did it it caused drama but was funny as fuck, I also threw up in the tank too every time they flushed the toilet bowl filled with dirty water

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>>687643220
Well played

>>687642023
They never said their sex.
>implying

>>687642848
That's god's work you're doing their son.
She wants to fuck can't blame you for doing it, but letting the bro know his bitch is a ho is right decent of you.

>>687643369
He didnt cheated on me,he made another guy cheat on me. Now im twice beta

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>>687638247

>>687638247
There are 7 girls around the world that think there is a guy in LA that loves them passionately
None of them knows of the existence of the other 6 obviously
Of course I just want them moods
I have basically become their perfect guy, so much so that they will never be able to find love again if I left them

Steal pictures of a dude, his wife, and his mistress... plus 3000 email correspondences between them all detailing the affair and how they're running around behind the wifes back. Release all on /b/.

>>687643127
My sister left her wow account on
>Made Her character a whore on Moon Guard

Ran a train on a buddy's wife while he was passed out drunk from partying to hard.
She kept begging to get fucked so myself and 10 other guys at this party covered her in cum.

She got pregnant and told him it was his

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>>687642941

No!

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>>687638247
I took a shit on a girl while we were in a 69.
It wasn't on purpose, it was leaky and she freaked, bit my dick and my ass juice leaked in her eyes and up her nose.
After she pushed me off her, she started crying and I just kept blasting ass gas in rythm. Y'know, like barp.. barp.. barp... barp.. barp.

It wasn't my proudest moment, she was my crush when I was 17.
She never wanted to see me again and is probably sexually scarred. She was a virgin at the time.
I haven't seen her in about three years.

>>687641777
trips demand anwsers

>be me
>10 year old memester
>friend leaves pokemon cards at my house
>mine now
>show and tell at school
>show of newly acquired cards
>friends goes ape shit
>teacher told him to be quiet
>TFW I'm scum

>>687643699
checked anon

>>687638247
Terrorized my classmates and many other ppl i knew for many, many years. But not this normal bully-stuff - i really fucked them up. Several of them had long lasting psycholigical issues bc of me, some probably til today. Still gets me thinking...

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>>687643699
oh shit nigga checked!

>>687643770
scum

>>687638247
>gave someone meth and told them it was coke

A guy I used to be friends with did this to me. I lost the plot and knocked some poor bastard unconscious when he asked me if I wanted a beer.

>>687638247
In Afghan on 3rd tour, shit was hitting the fan, got a bead on three guys in a compound, I called in air support.
3 really fucking big booms later we walk in to proceed on our way.
Four whole (and I mean whole) families were inside.
Most were still in one piece, three guys dead too, diagnosed with PTSD and a personality disorder now.
Feel I deserved it.

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I regularly fuck with homeless people. Its pretty bad when I'm drunk, and I've been arrested a few times for it.

>>687643968
Hajis deserved it.

>>687642627
sauce?

>>687638247

>tricked some cute weeaboo chick into giving me a blowjob and swallowing my load

How do you 'trick' someone into blowing you and swallowing? Were they under the impression they were NOT blowing you?

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>be a grandmas place
>working in the garden
>find a mouse while working on the compost heap
>think quick
>remember seeing mousetraps in the attic
>assume she doesn't like mice
>smash it with a shovel
>go inside for a break
>grandma: "did you find the mouse nest in the compost heap? It's a whole family, they just had babies"
>mfw I killed the mother

>>687643770
Ha! Nothing
This kid in high school was super into yugioh. Had this rare Egyptian God card. The yellow one.
>Left his bag to go take a dump
>I rummage through it
>Take a sharpie and make a moustache over it
He is autistic and went ape on me. Teacher said he was getting too angry and had to go to the councilers.
>Clocked me in the jaw, broke glasses
>He got arrested by campus police

>>687641513
>687641513
i salute you sir. doing similar except i'm 45 and she is...younger

>>687643854
>>687643867
>>687643699
Samefag

>>687641777
Jesus trips

>accidentally sharted in some guy's mouth while he was sleeping
>broke up my friend's 5 year relationship because I wanted to fuck his girlfriend. I fucked her at least 20 times while she was on the rebound.
>throatfucked a girl until she threw up. she couldn't say the safety word because my cock was all the way down her throat. oops lel
>pissed on a homeless person while I was shitfaced
>set an angry goose loose in someone's dorm when they pissed me off, held the door shut so they couldn't get out

>>687643984
fuck like violence or fuck like sex?

>>687643647
Add: The wife is now an internet known face. Had to shut down all her public social media accounts, but I think she often is trolled. Mistress got divorced from her husband she was lying to.

Michelle's

catfished girl for 2 years
got her to do crazy things like eat her own poop and drink her pee every single time she had to go for days on end.
Told her the truth, then she ended things and got a bf within a week.
I pretended to be suicidal and she agreed to let me do whatever i wanted.
I went over to her and my dreams came true & I got to do whatever I wanted.
I then blackmailed her with all the stuff i had on her and kept for another few months until she finally moved

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>>687643696
I've done the same, no train though, was only 3 of us on her.
pic related

>>687643968
War is hell

>>687639462
there is no way there was as much piss as beer so all the bottles could not have been full of piss

>>687644446
So close to quints
Who is this woman?

>>687640159
>Obvious femanon is obvious
Awh fuck off m8. Praying on the weak is a shit quality and you're a fucking cunt for using him and giving nothing back. Least you could do is blow him once in a while.

>>687640958
The old twince pussy fuck. My fave.

shit. i just dumped all my ex's pics and deets on 4chan

i'm practically a summerfag by comparison

>>687644390
>accidentally sharted in some guy's mouth while he was sleeping

How the fuck?

>>687644104
buddies wife passed out so he said we could all fuck her

>>687638247
not the worst but still

>be me
>fucked a bitch in college on a Saturday night
>have a half empty beer sitting around
>take the used condom, put it over the cap
>tip the beer into the condom, swish it around fiercely
>pour it back into the beer
>leave it in the corridor

checked in a few hours. It was gone

>>687638822
What a fucking faggot

>>687644586
I'm sure you've seen a picture of her already today.. haha

>>687640707
why anon?

>>687645038
I'll give a hint. she's in just abuot every MILF thread on /b/

>>687640159

I once fucked a girl that was leading a guy on like that. Felt pretty bad for him.

>>687643984
you mean you're like vicious to them or have sex with them?

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>>687644334

>He doesn't know how to samefaggin
>Checked calender
>it's summer already

Welcome you new friend

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>>687640707

>>687644422
Violence. I definitely wouldn't fuck (sex) a hobo.

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>>687638822

Lol you're an idiot

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Cuming inside my mom

Me and 2 of my friends picked up this really drunk chick and a bar took her to his car fucked her and made her give us head. Dropped her off in the riverbed. Woke up late for work smh

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>>687643699
he can stay

>>687645342
Greentext it faggot

>>687638247
>i dont seed my torrents
YOU FILTHY PIECE OF SHIT

>Put the moves on an ugly girl from Okc.
>Said she wasn't down for first date sex but after some anime and neck kisses she couldn't resist.
>Fuck her for a bit but her face is killin my wood
>Turn her around and start poking her ass
>Says "um.. Not there-"
>Spit on her ass and shove it in
>Says no and bites pillow
>Sounds very distressed
>Keep fucking and start choking her so she shuts up
>First finish time in the ass.
>Apparently she loved it and tried to hang out for a month after
>Never replied

This probably isn't that bad but being someone who usually goes for sweet sensual sex I felt terrible.

>>687638247
SEED YOUR TORRENTS FAGGOT!!!

fb aleeyah.porter.9

>>687640159
I have a friend that does that to me,
>I get her drunk and drug her and fuck the shit out of her, i also go through her phone and copy all the nudes to my phone and send them to her boyfriend from random numbers so he thinks she's fucking around on him.

I just make sure to have enough empty bottles of booze around in the morning so she thinks she got blackout drunk, she trusts me with all her heart

>>687645447
>you're happy now fag?

I pawned my stepdad's wedding ring for crack. He left it in his drawer because him and my mom were already on the rocks. She probably still thinks he lost it in Vegas. They divorced not long after. I only got $20 for it.

>>687645687
Aaaaye my nigga

>met girl and her boyfriend of several years
>become good friends
>eventually decide to become roommates
>fast forward two weeks
>went to visit girl's family
>other friend stayed to watch their kid
>watching scary movie together
>everyone is asleep
>hand rubbing turned to thigh massage
>called it quits there
>occasional hand holding for another week
>present day
>just fucked the girl this morning
>friend has no clue
>I feel alpha, yet dead inside

wat do

>>687645750
>not really but that works

>>687645609
Why
>yuck

>>687644473
still have pics ?

>Go to the Philippines for work every few months
>usually there about a month or two
>Find a nice girl while im there
>Convince her i love her and want to take her back to america with me
>we start fucking because i "need" them so badly
>They basically live in my Hotel room.
>Never fucking pull out the whole time
>Give them false info on how to contact me if they are pregnant
>Leave never to be seen again

Been doing this for about 5 years now.

>>687642627

Nothing wrong if you used a condom

When I was around 15 I fucked my gf's younger sister who was 14 at the time. I took both her and her sisters virginitys within a week and neither of them know

>>687643372
Ahh the old Upper Decker!
Brings back memories.

It's better when it is in a seldom used bathroom. That way it ferments for a few days!

>>687644473
Was she cute? You have pics?

>>687638822

I hope you learnt your lesson you stupid entitled prick

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>>687645858
go for a quicky every time dude turns his back
I had a relationship like that with my best friends girlfriend for over 4 years.
he went to store we fuck
he took shower we fuck
he at work we fuck
pic very related

>>687645095
hes not my friend anymore

>>687646044
Lol probably have an army of bastard sons and daughters

>>687645546
She didn't love it, rape victims often seek out their attackers to try and normalize/make sense of the situation.

>>687646029
have pics and vids of every single thing.

>>687646477
feminist detected

Acting as if girls have to be pressured to swallow, lel.
But lets see
>got a bunch of people hooked on herion
>robbed a ton of ppl
>kicked in doors of friends houses with masks on
>shot a man with a sawwed off in the face over drugs
Still fucked up over that
>never seed my torrents

>>687640159
I'm never taking you to the mall again, Aimee.

I was about 20 and I catfished this girl that was 16 into thinking I was 16 as well. She would send me all kinds of nudes.

After 5 months of this she wanted to meet up. So I made her buy a plane ticket for the middle of nowhere Kansas and told her to meet me at some tiny ass diner. I live in NY.

A week later I got a very angry message from her and she wanted nothing to do with me again.

1 month later I messaged her from a different account and did it all over again

>>687644870
It probably just got thrown away retard.

>>687646183
cute, but chubby. she was a nerdy girl with glasses.
and yeah i have hundreds of pics and vids of everything she did.

>>687646409
I have no idea why i do this. I'm your typical community involved, Volunteer on weekends kind of guy. Guess i gotta balance out the bad with some good.

>>687638822
Stupid faggot. She probably had it coming, dickhead. You're lucky he didn't pump you full of lead.

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>the was a muslim kid in my school
>I forced him to eat pork

>>687646044
papa?

>have a gf of one year
>Gf's got a guy friend who she used to be in a relationship with for like a month
>he still likes her
>them being good friends they talk whenever i get in a fight with my Gf
>find out he's actively trying to sabotage my relationship in hopes of winning her back
(Gf thinks he's a ratfaced faggot so i don't really worry about the latter)
>hearing this i become pissed off
>months later he's got a gf bit on the chubby side but nice tits and perma-horny
>gf and i are on a break cause of me being chased by 4 different girls and as i was 16 years old i was pretty much unable to keep it in my pants.
>start talking to the dude's gf
>hit it off though she's annoyingly dumb
>get her over to my house and proceed to fuck the everliving shit out of her.
>sucking, fucking, anal the whole shebang
>Tells me i'm way bigger and better then her faggot bf
>goodfeels.jpg
>continues to call me every once in a while asking me for sex while she is still in a relationship with faggot homewrecker friend.
>keep on fucking till they break up cause he found out.
>He's to beta to call me out on it
Best revenge i ever had.

>>687646390
That's exactly how it is now, actually. This morning wasn't the first. Nice to know I'm not alone on this though.

underrated thread

>tortured two of my school mates causing psycological damage and ultimately leading them to leave school etc.
>got my cock sucked by someone young let's say
>played with a passed out girls pussy
>ex gf begged me all night to give her some MDMA.. she passed out I fucked her and filmed it.
>Knocked my ex girlfriend out, kicked her in the head on christmas day
>Ripped old best mate off over 8 grand

>>687643736
Lost it
I'm done

>>687646566
Care to share? Private or public?

fucked the crap out of my best friend without a condom 5 months ago
she's 5 months pregnant now and saying its her boyfriends kid :)
now that she's pregnant I fuckin cum in her on the regular

>>687643736
HHOLY FUCK AHAHAHAHAHA

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>>687638247
I have been feeling a little guilty lately.
Times are hard and it's getting harder and harder to make ends meet. For the past 19 months I've been in charge of our churches food hall. We feed a number homeless families. Recently I've been forced to cut a few corners. I've been feeding a group of elderly homeless veterans every thursday night. They are a motley grouping of men but most are friendly. They are provided a weekly stew & roll for dinner. To cut corners I have taken to feeding this group reconstituted dog food mixed with various canned beans. Some times I use a bit of canned dog food to richen the flavor but many of them complained that it made them gassy, so we keep the canned dog food we purchased to mix into dressings for the weekend family feeds. I dont know why this would be considered "Bad" but it makes me feel uneasy so I posted.

>>687642309
They are all cheating whores. She was probably just stupid enough to get caught.

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Beat a kid with a ASP (police baton)
Threw an elbow at an unsuspecting kid that was standing behind me at a punk show
Pissed in a kids backpack in the sixth grade after he called me stupid
Poured fox piss in a kids backpack (i dont remember why)
stole a U2 edition Ipod from someone
All in all not that bad of a person