Please state the nature of the medical emergency.
>>687560125
I haven't had a decent blowjob in weeks
>>687560125
I have herpes all over my face.
help!
MY PEEPEE IS ON FIRE!
>>687560252
Head to either one of the Holodecks.
>>687560282
We'll need a dermal regenerator for that, but the virus will remain in your bloodstream. I'm sorry, Lieutenant.
>>687560125
My racist records are stuck in customs and im worried they get sent back to the seller
Tell the cbsa to send them thru please
My ass has been sore for a week and have a lump or two outside my asshole. No homo
I'm a victim of 21st century medicine.
plz help
>>687560494
>seller
>customs
I think you're in the wrong century.
>>687560554
Lie down on the bed over there. The third one. We'll need to run a bio-scan.
>>687560580
Well, you're in the 24th Century now. Welcome.
>>687560587
Get....get out.
Tom Paris wont check his white privilege on the bridge and keeps making vulcan jokes and triggering me!
>>687560701
I thought you were here to help
My anti-nigger and anti-jew records cost me $1500!! Im not loosing them to some asshole at the border
>>687560812
Oh c'mon, they're just jokes. Stop being such a wuss. I thought you Vulcans were supposed to be emotionless.
>>687560898
>border?
You mean the Romulan Border? You should probably speak to the captain.
>>687560936
Annoyed is not an emotion.
Now please leave my quarters mister Paris.
>>687560125
I'm here for my routine dose of hormone replacements.
>>687561172
Duude, I was never in your quarters.
>>687561315
I'll be seeing to that this time. Remove your clothes.
>>687561513
Oh fuck I just replicated spaghetti all over.
>>687561439
Weren't you in my quarters last night administering your routine cocksucking on my mighty vulcan dong?
>>687561634
Spaghetti is irrelevant, you must comply.
Jadzia is bleeding heavily from the anus, again.
>>687561781
Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Tuvok. That was me.
>>687561919
>Finally, another Klingon I can connect with.
Worf, uh....what a pleasure to see you here.
>>687561825
You're irrelevant, borg-tits. Go suck off your dirt worshiping commander, tattoo-face.
Computer, terminate the EMH program.
>>687561825
okay but only if you show me your
photon torpedo tits while you activate my manual
steering column.
Doc I keep wanting to finger sex 7of9 but she denies the inevitable pleasure, what do?
>>687562104
>Borg-tits
I resent that.
>>687562247
>photon-torpedo tits
I don't resent that....
>>687562163
COMPUTER, BELAY THAT ORDER.
>>687562278
You should probably not do it. Need I remind you, she could still assimilate you.
>>687562353
>you are my sunshine my only sunshine.
>you keep me happy when skies are gray.
>>687562046
GO FUCK A TARG, HALF-BREED.
lol jk you're okay I like 'em KLINGED like mai baby momma and all dem humans bitches btw did you have the doctor examine you to see if you contracted the augment virus lol jk you're alright
>>687562499
STOP IT!
>>687562550
Okay, well...I'll just...head back to my quarters then.
>>687560125
Doctor. I have been experiencing some dizziness and disorientation. I seem to be experiencing a memory that I do not recall. In every instance I seem to be on the precipice of ejaculating into the captain's wide open mouth.
I got food poisoning from Neelix's horrible food. Again. Seriosuly, why do we keep this guy around?
>>687562715
We'll certainly have to keep you here for observation overnight. Can't risk you living out these...'lost memories.'
>>687562353
>implying the borg didn't 'enhance' your tits
you were totally flat before you were, as chief o'brien would say, 'ass-humiliated'
>pic related
>>687562811
Oh come off it. My cooking's the best in the quadrant.
Doctor I can't stop sucking dick.
Not a medical emergency I just wanted to tell someone.
>>687562811
Seriously, why didn't we put him off the ship when Kes left? I told Tupac and Captain Freeway I wanted to do something for the ship... maybe I should murder him.
>>687562961
Well....whatever the Collective did, it was for the best...for the Collective.
>>687563105
You've gotten weird ever since Kes left.
>>687563009
Really? Tribbles and Bits? What were you thinking?
>>687563220
>maybe I should murder him
I would love to see you try.
>>687560125
Sorry for interrupting you're offline time doctor
but I wanted to ask you where do babies come from?
>>687563220
>mfw I actually typed this I thought I was just thinking it...
I think I need another mind-meld.
>>687563403
I was THINKING we could use some variety, I mean, apart from those replicator rations (if you'd even call it that).
>>687563412
neelix's food tastes like feet and piss
>>687563415
Hey, how are ya? Listen, the sickbay is no place for little girls, so why don't you uh...run along?
>>687562909
Doctor. If I may suggest. Perhaps it would be best if Seven and Lieutenant Torres we to stay for the sleep lab. There analysis of my nocturnal habits could provide further insight into this mystery.
>>687563646
Oh c'mon, it's not that bad. Btw guys, I'm back.
>>687560125
I got a fever
For more cowbell
>>687563220
The name's Tulak you faggy little beta-zoid.
>>687563593
Don't make me choke you out again, Dicklix.
doctor seven just assimilated my dick and sucked me off for 12 hours it was awesome but i dont want a borg dick fix this shit nigga.
mumm mummm mmumm
>>687563801
I object. I need to...regenerate in a slightly different way.
>>687563949
Ah, Mr. Tuvok. Glad you're here. I need you on the bridge. We seem to have stumbled across what appears to be an abandoned space station, but it's radiating theta waves.
>>687560125
Newfaggotry runs rampant in /b/. And /b/ has cancer.
>>687564263
Who was that pointy eared bastard?
>>687564345
"/b/" as in "Barclay?"
>>687563646
agreed romulan piss at that i think he needs to catch a beating.furry little faggot
>>687564458
What...who in the hell is THIS now?! He looks like Kirk, but...not as fat, and a bit younger.
>>687562689
Hey, Balana. Guess what I got you... give up? It's a French-Tickler. That's what they used to call it. Know what it's for...give up? lol btw what kind of name is Balalananana hahahaha did you mother have a stutter? hahaha jk btw don't eat in the mess hall today I want to eat your ass too.
>>687564263
Captain. Who are you speaking to. I have been in the sickbay for an overnight stay due to memories ejaculllll.........due to complications in my memories.
>>687564345
go back to /b/eta-quadrant shitskin
>>687564597
Trust me sweetheart. I'm still fat where it counts.
>>687564653
>I want to eat your ass too
You said the magic words.
>>687564263
maybe its your stank pussy captain.reeks so fuckin bad i think it has turned into radiation.crew is calling it janewaves
>>687564664
No, finish what you were going to say at first....
>>687564827
Around the gut area?
>>687564653
I will have to apologize Lt. Paris. I have requested that Lt. Torres join me and Seven this even for research into my nocturnal emissio.....memories.
>>687564943
You....report to the Brig.
Doctor, I took your advice on utilizing the holodeck to aleviate some of my sexual frustrations, but now I've become addicted to a holonovel I wrote in which Seven and Torres beat me senselessly to near unconsciousness while shitting in my face. The sexual gratification is amazing, but I can't keep showing up for duty with bruises all over my body, let alone the shit smell.
wheres the fucking doctor my borg dick has now taken over engineering
>>687565194
Your program is creating a great strain on our power conduits. We'll have to delete it.
Anyone else reading these in the character's voices?
>>687565006
Captain. I have been experiencing uncomfortable memories of which you are a participant. Perhaps. If you would join Seven and Lt. Torres in sickbay, I will be able to demonstrate further.
>>687565314
*sigh* I'll take care of it.
>>687565428
yes, this is one of the greatest threads
>>687565374
NO!!!!
>>687565455
I can't, I'm needed on the bridge. Perhaps Mr. Chakotay would be happy to help.
This is by far the best episode of STV
>>687565128
just helpin you out cap'n janewaves but scuze me the smell in here is worse than andorian fish nettles.
>>687565637
I would be happy to help, captain.
Tuvok, how can I assist you?
Doctor, I have something stuck on my face
>>687565822
Alright, that's it. Janeway to security: escort this ensign to the Brig.
>>687565941
We may have to amputate.
>>687565637
I am afraid that the Commander does not have the right...instruments for this procedure. This is a delicate matter and your assistance would prevent further damage to my neurons.
I am sure the Doctor can explain the importance of this procedure more thoroughly.
>Attention all hands: clear the corridors...
GEORGE DA FORGE makin' it so. If Toyager had me in the engine room we would have got back in time for some DS9 cameos.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_izvAbhExY
>>687560125
You dare speak to me?
Kneel before your god!
>>687566116
Doctor, I had something bust out of my chest, what do?
>>687566323
No, it's okay; I've already agreed to it. Let's do it, Mr. Tuvok.
>>687565941
Can I interest you in some removal creams I made myself?
Your boats are made of valaryan steel and fly through the heavens? Please come with me. My queen would be interested in speaking with you.
this is kes,neelix,where is neelix i have his crystal meth.
>>687566450
I'll escort you to one of the torpedo bays. Just let me grab my holo-emitter.
>>687566505
Hmph, I have a sister.
"meanwhile in junction 16"............
>>687565966
Captain, I still can't see shit.
>>687560125
doctor, i have an ear ache
Doctor, I need help. Some unknown alien race injected me with this... stuff. And now I can understand every language spoken to me.
>>687565508
thank you b'lowlotta that bj was hardcore.Wipe ur chin though theres cum on ur eyebrow as well.
thx for eating those borg implants dont worry i wont tell tom shit
>>687566488
I'm the only queen on this ship.
>>687566898
Well if you could, Mr. LaForge, you'd see that you're ON THE WRONG SHIP. But it's okay. You can work with Ms. Torres in Engineering.
>>687566463
Commander your desire to assist is apprecaite and not unexpected. But I feel as this is a personal matter only the assistance of the Captain, Lt. Torres, and Seven working sanctimoniously will have an effect. You are welcome to watch the procedure if you wish.
>Captain, I am waiting for you in sickbay. Lt. Torres and Seven are just arriving.
>>687566481
GTFO uncle quark you're not in this show.
>>687567057
But....I can help.
>>687567057
The captain has other duties. I already offered to help. Do we have a problem I'm not aware of, Tuvok? Have I done something?
>>687565966
fuck this shit nigga!
*opens airlock and floats off into space*
>>687567057
It's only logical that I too participate in this procedure.
>sets phaser to 'vibrate'
>>687567436
Well, I guess I have something for my log today.
Yeah, Tuvok, do we have a problem?
>>687566481
you heeb im sick of you ripping niggas off up in this shit*punches space jew in big ass ear*
>>687567628
Captain, I too have a log you can use. It is approximately 2.34 light years in distance and available at request
>>687567802
No violence on my ship!
>>687567899
2.34 lightyears sounds like a long way off-course...
>I'm going to murder you all... violently. And rape some bitches, then attack the federation or blow up the ship in space dock or... fug, I guess I'll just stay in my quarters and masturbate.
>>687560125
I'm confused doctor. I don't know where I am
w-whats g-going on in this t-thread?
>>687568048
Go back to Enterprise with your slutty vulcans and aliens the federation drove into extinction by TOS.
This hologram is an ambulance chaser...
LOZ i runing naked on your ship!
>>687560125
I can only get dubs
>>687560125
I have Tinnitus.
>>687568391
You're cured!
>>687567998
im sorry captain i just cant control my violence.jews infuriate me.
I have HIV
>>687567723
I would appreciate it if you stop putting your finger in the wrong place.
>>687567344
Commander. Imagine this were a one of your spirit walks with your ancestors. There is a specific method and setting that must be achieved in order for you to be successful in contacting them. In this same manner I must remain specific to needs of this Vulcan procedure.
>>687568494
Plz fix my hivvys doc
>>687560125
My hair is Amputated
hey tom b'lowlotta just gave me a bj of a lifetime.knew uve been long poling kes so didnt think ud give a shit.
man she takes loads like a fuckin thai hoebag on risa
>>687568622
I can guarantee I know exactly how to help.
Species eradicated by the Federation in it's early, Imperialist Era:
Antarans
All Xindi species
Denobulans
Mencks
Miglaxas
i really, really, really like this image.
There's no emergency, doc. It's just that . . . It gets so fucking lonely out here.
>>687560125
Doctor i woke up this morning in this body but I'm actually much older. What do?
