>>687471808
Do you really believe in Satan or are you an edgy cunt like the most?

Can you summon a demon pls? :)

What does Satan have to offer in terms of afterlife and what are his demands? (God demands love and repentance in return for stupid bullshit roads of gold sky wizard manure. So whats the other side?)

>>687471808
You laveyan or theistic?

Do you have a Sonic OC?

Have u brought vengeance upon your enemies through prostration to your lord?

OP is fag. Never delivers.

>>687471808
Where can I get a copy of the Satanic Bible? From what I've heard it got some pretty level headed shit in it and I'm generally curious.

I'm looking to sell my soul how fast can I get an offer on it from the big man himself?

>>687471808
how does one become a satanist and if its easy, do i have to maintain shit like gotta do something every couple days cause i just wanna be able to call satan my nigga and summon demons when i want

>>687471808
Have you become the edge lord you've always dreamed of?

>>687472935
generally or genuinely

>>687471808
you haven't specified what KIND of satanist you are, you've just specified that you are a satanist..

Are you an ATHEISTIC Satanist
or
a WORSHIPPER of Satan?

>>687471808
if god doesnt exist how can satan? checkmate fgt

>>687473297
Don't post on phones kids

>genuinely muh autocorrect

Maybe Satan can fix this

>>687473305
Im a worshipper of satan

>>687472935
have you looked online seriously

>>687472082
I dont just beleive in Satan, I work for him. Im the Emo Gothic Darklord of Satan and my beleif for Satan is unconditional so long as I hold my office as the Emo Gothic Darklord of Satan.

>>687472366
I can but you need to fill out a Request for Demon Summoning Form (RDSF) and submit it with a copy of your Satan ID card and your valid U.S. Passport. Then youll submit it to the Church of Satan Department of Satanic Rituals and Summonings. After it processes for 3 weeks, it will make its way up the chain until it lands on my desk as the Emo Gothic Darklord of Satan and then I will sign off on it.

>>687472637
Satan requires different things for his afterlife. The first reqyirement is that youre emo and gothic. Once you fulfill those terms, youll have to listen to at least 5000 hours of black veil brides and blood on the dance floor. For more information on afterlife requirements, please visit www.churchofsatan.hell/afterlife for a complete list of requirements.

>>687472652
Neither. As the Emo Gothic Darklord of Satan, im not allowed to have any denomination

>>687472768
Whats that?

>>687472786
Im the Emo Gothic Darklord of Satan. I bring vengence in people every day.

>>687472935
The Satanic Bible can be purchased at www.churchofsatan.hell/shop

>>687473012
To sell your soul, youll need 2 things:
>Unilateral Satanic Soul Request
>Satanic Soul Sales Form

After you complete that, submit these documents to the Satanic Department of Health and Satanic Services and theyll process the information. Then it will end up on my desk as the Emo Gothic Darklord of Satan and ill have the final signature if I feel the terms of the agreement are acceptable.

>>687473015
You have to submit a Free Application for Satanic Membership (FAFSM) and submit it to the Church of Satan Department of Human Resources

>>687473484
whata faggot he uses a phone wif hz grama and sht

File: 1443666813807.jpg (24 KB, 453x470) Image search: [Google]

24 KB, 453x470

>>687473523
Oh, nevermind OP is retarded. Abandon thread

>>687473087
Im the Emo Gothic Darklord of Satan. Of course I have.

>>687473305
As the Emo Gothic Darklord of Satan, im prohibited from joining any denomination

>>687473417
God is not real tho

>>687471808
How many pages are there in The Satanic Bible?

File: AllHailTheKing.jpg (45 KB, 706x674) Image search: [Google]

45 KB, 706x674

>>687473520
>>687473523

Why would Satan be existent if God isn't ?
If God exists, why'd pick Satan ? How stupid are you ?

>>687473523
>You have to submit a Free Application for Satanic Membership (FAFSM) and submit it to the Church of Satan Department of Human Resources

youve destroyed the fun of it, i thought id write a letter in blood, burn the letter feed it to an animal, sacrifice it then boom demons are at your command

Did you fap with demon?

>>687471808
are you tarl warwick

>>687473677
Do you attend satan summoning rallies?

>>687471808
What can you answer that can only be answered by a "satanist" and can be important to other people?

>>687473520
>have you looked online seriously
I'm looking for an edgy meme answer, not an actual, reasonable response

>>687473646
>whata faggot he uses a phone wif hz grama and sht
nuh niggah i am the use phone because the have smart yes

>>687472935
Amazon has it.

The Satanic Bible by Anton La Vey is split in its level headedness, as half deals with living life to your fullest here on earth. The satanic dogma is that this mortal plane is for mortals, and you should do what you like while you can. But not in a rape and rampage way, as it also reminds you throughout that when you harm to others, they have a duty to retribution.

The other half is satanic mysticism and can be ignored if it ain't your thing.

How's highschool?

>>687471808
whos satan?

>>687471808
Why do you think asking a question here is going to make any difference ?

>>687474110
Fat man who gives presents to good kids on Christsam

>>687474218
many thanks

>>687473734
Depends. If you want the standard Satanic Bible, its around 278.

If you want the Emo Gothic Darklord of Satan Version, its 2,870 pages.

>>687473841
God is just an illusion and excuse for faggots like you to shitpost on 4chan because youre a faggot. Check mate faggot. Heil Satan! BVB Army forever!

>>687473858
I didnt destroy the fun of it. Im the Emo Gothic Darklord of Satan and take this religion and my office within the Church of Satan very seriously.

>>687473905
How dare you ask the Emo Gothic Darklord of Satan such a question. I cast you from this thread

>>687473947
No, Im the Emo Gothic Darklord of Satan

>>687473967
All the time.

>>687473991
Well, you can ask who is the emoist gothocist sexiestsexiest hardcoreiest deathcoreiest rockband in the world? In ehich the answer would be Black Veil Brides.

>>687474079
Shut the fuck up, faggot. Im the Emo Gothic Darklord of Satan and i think id know where to buy the Satanic Bible

>>687471808
When did you start fucking your mother?

>>687471808
No. You used the wrong pic. Post pic of the long haired fat ass, otherwise I simply can't take you seriously.

File: Thnaks.png (106 KB, 300x309) Image search: [Google]

106 KB, 300x309

>>687474079
Well, sheit, if people are actually going to shunt me legitement responses I might as well follow through with them.
>picrelated

>>687471808
>Satanist
>Posts Baphomet
>Tollerates hebrew shit
So how is 8th grade?

>>687474348
No probmel

>>687471808
What's your favorite black metal band ?

>>687473523
since you people are supposed to take part in all the joys of the flesh, how many times a day do you take it up the ass?

>>687471808
what's your card number?

>>687471808
How is the number 666 connected with "The Beast"?

This could of been fun if OP wasnt retarded :(

What is a (you)
How do I make backwards replies
What is The Game
How do I get a name like moot or whatever that guy is called
Sorry, I just joined this site but you seem like a cool guy that can help me

>>687471808
Satanism is an atheist/humanist meme religion like pastafarian.

Lol your chatting so much bullshit, real satanists do not believe in Satan. Dont listen to OP he is a faggot
also >>687478063

>>687471808
How's high school?