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kek

>>687447091
If you can find a girl willing to dress up as Mr. Clean for you, you've got yourself a keeper.

>>687447254
pretty sure thats from a reddit tifu post

>>687447231
would you recommend a website?

I'd bump but I'm banned

>>687447430
Hey I'm not banned anymore. That's the last time I post beach nudes with young children

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>>687447359
Really...

>>687447535
oh anon

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This a long read, but It's god-tier.

>>687448155
dubs

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My all time favourite greentext

>>687448196
I'd pay to witness that
...

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Bump

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>>687447726
WTF

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This is funny, and also a bdsm karma suitra.

>>687448146
It really is god tier

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>>687451739

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Bumb

>>687447850
only funny if americunt

>>687450400
comedy gold

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This is pretty much OC.

>>687453477
That wasn't a setup either. I was their, cunt actually lost his son and we hung a lot of shit on him, like caring more about ylyl then trying to get his son back, and also blaming him for it, because of his addiction to ylyl threads leading to neglect of the child. .

>>687453733
>I was their

Their what ?

>>687453867
shitposter

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>>687453867
There*
I was a welder form the age of 16, I'm surprised I'm still not writing of "off" (correct way to spell it in the trade)
And that's probably as much writing I have done for 8 years.

P.S. YOU KNEW EXACTLY WHAT I MEANT YOU LITTLE FUCKING SHIT.

>>687448146
It's not really funny but it's entertaining.

>>687448146
This must be the most epic greentext of history, and should made into a movie>>687448146

>>687448583
I don't exercise so I can't visualize what's going on here. Why would you post this on /b/?

>>687456699
It's a subtle joke about the squat rack, because no one ever uses them properly. So Anon seeing someone using it properly freaked out.

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>>687457362
Lost hard

>>687457362
Holy fuck lost hard

>>687448155
Needs a bit more JPEG

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>>687447726
best

>>687454574

I don't get it.

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>>687460067
You had to be there.

>>687447949
What a bro

>>687448429
that was a nice read

>>687447949
yeah, what a bro

>>687448196
good one

>>687463503
>implying that all of us getting together wouldn't retard Earth's orbit

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>>687464219

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>>687464219


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>>687464219

>>687448146
>>687448146
Complete 12/10

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>>687464219


>>687464447
add about 500lbs to each it will be much more Representative of these websites actual users

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>>687464219


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>>687464219

>>687450600
Kek'd and check'd

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>>687464219


Ohh boy the autistic weeb shitposter has raided this thread

>>687464917
>implying tumblrs a girl
stop misgendering us you cis scum

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>>687448308

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>>687465294

>>687460067
Are you dense? It's pretty fcking self explanatory.

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>>687447409

>be me
>2 months ago
>met a really nice girl
>have a lot of shit in common even our birthdays
>turns out she was literally born next to me
>so much in common i start to think we're soulmates or some shit
>the only thing not in common is religion
>I'm agnostic
>she "So you're an atheist?"
>me "No I'm agnostic, it's different."
>she "Well people have the right on their own opinions, even if they're wrong"
>wtfbitch.jpeg
>don't know why i didn't tell her to fuck off right there and then
>she's a hardcore catholic btw
>goes to church twice a week, comes back sobbing cuz it was "A beutiful experience"
>probably got banged by the priest
>never mind she's not a young boy
>later I forgot about what happened
>fast forward a couple weeks
>we have sex, worst sex I've ever had
>she started crying, getting all emotional on me
>my dick went down faster than the empire state building
>the next day she woke up and tells me she had a dream
>a dream in which fucking jesus brought me to her
>say "Yeah did the jesus that brought me get out of a fiery pit and looked like satan? Cuz if anything of that exists then he will be the one bringing me"
>she gets pissed
>eventually cools off though
>starts telling me what i need to change about myself
>tell her I'm not changing anything
>she going to church and comes back telling me we have a problem
>"Okay Huston whats the problem?"
>literally get quotes from the bible
>tells me I'm the problem and she breaks up with me because i'm not leading her to god
>mfw a girl left me for something that doesn't exist
>mfw when she left me for "god"
>mfw it turns out I actually am an atheist and not agnostic

>>687447726
Dis cant be real?!

>>687448146
Best greentext in here

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>>687467076
Saved.

>>687467076
Kek maynge you can't deal with christfag bitches like that same thing happened to me when I was younger

>>687448196
Thats some highclass gold

>>687452752
>ordering sandwiches at a restaurant
>special wishes
Chances are bretty gudd

>>687467076
been pretending to be christian for a few months now with this hot christian chick. i am slowly debrainwashing her tho

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>>687448429

>>687469040
kek, well i wanted to try that as well but she went way too far into the rabbit hole for me

>>687467076
Empire state building?
I'm like 90% sure that it's still around

>>687469498
Well it didn't really collapse, it had it structure weakened in 1945 by an airplane crash

>>687469394
well if you pretend to be a less strict christian like i am doing now its seemed to be working well because we have discussions about things like evolution and she used to not believe in it at all. now i have been telling her how i believe it fits into my fake religion as the mechanism for how god created us. doing stuff like this for everything.
she wants you to go to church every sunday, why would our all loving god love me less just because i choose to worship in my own way.
just small crap like that just slowly converting her to a more manageable christian.

>>687448429
I always read this when it gets posted

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>>687448155
Jesus fucking christ what did you do to that jpg

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>>687454574

>>687470176
i dont want to completely stop her being christian because its actually kinda good her being religious i feel like her thinking she will go to hell if she cheats on me should stop her cheating on me

>>687470921
I think it was .jpeg to .gif and back to .jpeg.

>>687448429
This shit deserves to be made into a movie

>>687472957
kek.

>>687448146
nice story

>>687469941
Best most of this thread

>>687474247

>>687447222
Ah that actually killed me

>>687474890
and yet you're still posting

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>>687475844

Bump crackas

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Bump with some good shit

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>>687477540
K.

>>687449793
Damn, that dude's probably in the 100,000's by now.

>>687448146
not very funny but a good story none the less

>>687478907

>>687447959
This is my fetish

>>687467076
Decent christians wouldn't have sex before marriage though...

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>>687454152

>>687447726
Blew my fuckin mind

>>687469915
Should have said world trade center or south/north tower

Requesting a greentext.
It's an exchange between two guys on some roleplaying chat,
our protagonist is really going all out with this lord to stableboy roleplaying while the other is just wierded out

>>687447949
genius

>>687452425
I feel cringe, but at the same time, I like the tits.
/b/ is full of fags now

>>687449776
KEK

>>687470921
That's what happens when a black person saves an image

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>>687480911
>911

>>687447949
Superhero

>>687481856
I just threw up a bit

>>687453477
This shit is not worth saving, nothing that has cancer on it is worth saving.
Croping the cancer outta this.

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>>687447949
>mfw i never had a bro like that

>>687447222
Chek'd

>>687447222
Checked.

>>687449614
what have you done

>>687448583
This one always makes me kek

Does anybody have that one were anon got two tards to beat the shit out of each other because one thought the other was a decepticon?

>>687455500
Lel I do the same thing with my cat...

>>687452397
awww

>>687482678
That was fucking awesome

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>>687447254

>>687467076
kek, you are nothing next to god mate.
I amp the priest that fucks her everyday and told her to dump you btw. gg

>>687483875
I don't but a YouTuber did a reading of one. Brendanielreads or something

>>687449614
gr8

>>687448146
That was gay. He learned nothing.

>>687448146
Justice is fucking served

>>687478907
everytime

>>687453432
I remember that thread

If I ever run a fight club I will have "yard Tuesday" every Tuesday I will throw twelve tards into the arena with weapons scattered about but only one will leave

>>687460067
>actually being this retarded

scary

>>687454152
*From.

Go back to welding, faggot

>>687483140
best

>>687454574
God, yes! I don't think I'd had more fun in my life than Fort Benning.

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>>687448941
gg

>>687447091
Sorry for interrupt, but what is green text work exactly, i am new here

>>687486686
Sauce???

>>687449614
Not even the whole post

>>687487451

I know it

>>687486686
She doing tricks with her pussy I guess she's a vagician.

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>>687485888

>>687488047
shut up carlos

>>687488275
Don't be a cunt to Carlos you fuck.

>>687467076
>dating a Catholic heathen

They literally worship the devil, Catholicism is a false religion in league with the Synagogue of Satan (Ashkenazi false Jews)

>>687478628
Pure gold

>>687447091
This thread is still alive?
Holy shit.

>>687484334
He is the best fucking guy

>>687470176
>she wants you to go to church every sunday

There is a point there. Christ warns of churches and doesn't wish for his image to be worshiped after he's gone, warning of any religions that worship him. The entire world is God's temple. You don't have to go to some building to worship a man acting as God's voice on Earth, because Christ warned that there is no such thing. No man of the Earth is equal to God or is worthy of being as his voice and any man who does place himself on par with God (Pope, Divine Right of Kings etc. etc.) is just a tool of Satan. It's all pretty simple stuff.

Save this thread plz

>>687447949
Learn from this anon

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>>687447959
mfw cortana cant do shit

>>687447949
Biggest fucking bro

>>687482258
As if i needed another reason to hate these fucking niggers

>>687447726
"I'm my own grandpa" is a song that's old as shit though
/b/ was never original

>>687478628
lost damn it. i was doing so well too

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Long Read, but fuckin god tier

>>687489791
lost

we have room for 43 more greentext story pics. Keep this alive.

>>687448146
Best green text of all time.

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>>687490494
41

>>687490030
Lost

>>687449614
>Velma
>0/10
I'd literally turn straight to cum in that pussy. Fuck daphne she got nothing.

>>687491123
>maximum autism

>>687455221
gahahaha

ive been laughing in fuCking tears at this thread holy fuck theres been some fucking 69/10 odin teir shit on here holy fuck im dead send help