Me: did you find everything you need?

Them: no, I didn't find a big bag of money. HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

>>687419294
No sticker on that one it's free! lolololol

>>687419294
>You guys have the chip reader? Some places do some places dont

100 times a day holy shit.

Hang on, I think I have the 4 cents in my purse.

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The birth year one is real fuckin annoying like what do I say to that
>hey that's my birth year!
>HEY THATS PRETTY MAGICAL REALLY THATS JUST SOMETHING ELSE RIGHT THERE.

>>687419466
>phony American friendliness

It didn't ring up.....

MUST BE FREE THEN!

Are you being served?

>>687419824
Then I put a little fucking sign up covering the chip slit and I start getting people saying "oh I bet people were always asking if you have the chip reader so that was smart of you to put up that sign." Like yeah the idea was to get people to shut the fuck up about the chip reader but now they're all just talking about the sign.

>>687420101
... This is a customer catchphrase?

Me working at a yogurt shop
Me: that will be $2.20
Customer: Here you go!(hands me $100 bill)
Me: Do you have anything smaller?
Customer: no!
Me: only $150 in drawer. Cleans it out and hands her like 10 $5 bills.

>>687419994
"Is that so? You look... older."

>Hey, how are you doing today

Every god damn time like FUCK

>>687420249
My fucking co workers from other departments come into my line to try and cash their like $300-$400 checks. Like we have a bank in the store ya bichs

Me: "would you like this mike's way?"
Them: "No, I'll have it my way lelelelelelelelle"

"working hard or hardly working?"

>Standing on a raised platform behind the counter
>"Are you super tall or just standing on something?!?"

Literally 100 times a day

>>687420482
Fuckin love Jersey Mike's thank you for your kind service anon

>>687419824
Reading that damn near made me rage.
We can't put any sort of notice near it to let customers know the chip reader doesn't work - fuck knows why we can't.

Also contributing
>Ah! Another leftie!
I don't know why every other left-handed person in the world feels obligated to note that I too am left-handed, as if it somehow implies a bond between us. I don't know you. Just buy your tiny porcelain elephant or whatever and fuck off.

"It didn't ring up? It must be free!"

shitters full

>>687420482
What is Mike's way?

>I'm.. .um...buying it for my friend.

"It's good, I just made it." when they hand me a $100 or even a $50 sometimes. I just say "Yeah, you did a good job."

im a bager at kroger and when i ask people if they want me to bag for them they always say "you're probably better at it anyway" or something like that
every fucking time i hate it

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>>687420637
If it makes you feel better we are allowed to put like little signs we stick on with stickers and people don't read them I had the chip slit covered up with stickers with a sign and a customer punched their card through the stickers and asked if it worked.

>>687420055
Nah, I live in the south. Nothing phony about exchanging pleasantries with a stranger. I don't expect them to be you (a dick) when I first encounter them, so why not? It makes the whole experience better for both sides, even if a problem arises during the transaction.

Oh this machine has tap??
*smacks debit machine with card violently multiple times and gets distraught when it wont work*

>>687419824
It's 2016 why the fuck isn't that widespread. What 3rd world shithole do you live in?

>>687420925
I got penises in my ass faggot

>>687419294
That guy looks like Bill Cosby.

Working at a movie theater
Customer: Captain America 8:10 please
Me: That's Captain America at 8:10 in 3D, correct?
Customer: that's correct
Me: (confirms again)
Customer: yes that's right
Me: alright 12.95
Customer pays, then says: wait did you say 3d?
Me: yes
Customer: I didn't want 3D.
That's just one example but that shit happens all the time
>I didn't want that
That and we keep our straws around the corner from our drink machines and even though there's a SIGN ON EVERY MACHINE (3 OF THEM)
> where's the straws at?
every customer who buys a drink

>>687420674
when you get a cold sub at jersey mikes, it comes with onions, lettuce, tomato, vinegar, oil, oregano, and salt. The most delicious thing I ever had on a sub before

itt poorfags relate to other poorfags job experience

>>687420943
Or when the touchscreen isn't responding to their finger very well, and they start hammering it like a woodpecker, as though that's going to improve it for them, and for future use.

>fat middle aged cow sees friend in line
>"oh are you paying for mine? haHAA"
>both laugh maniacally

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>>687421089
Nah man it's just your friendly neighborhood Robert. Robert wouldn't harm a fly no way no how.

>>687421229
fuck off

>>687420231
Also the name of an old UK tv series.

"That will be $16.34"
'okay, out of 2000 pennies'
>hands her a 20 dollar bill

Thanks dad

>>687421229
Fuck you randy.

>>687419294
Please stop trying to give your shit tier job validation.... it makes it worse not better

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I wait tables.

>how was everything?
>*holding up empty plate* oh it was terrible!

>can I get you anything else?
>yeah, a winning lottery ticket/a million bucks!

oh and my favorite

>thank you for dining with us. have a good day.
>(black customer) FUCK YOU CRACKER MUH SLAVE ANCESTORS MUH CIVIL RIGHTS MUH BLACKLIVESMATTER MUH REPARATIONS *leaves me 2 cents on a $150 bill*

Me: got dicks in ass faggots

>>687421393
Says the faggot with no job.

>>687421176
Itp, a NEET pretends he is above average level work.

>>687421481
I'm above average level work because i'm not a welfare case that didn't graduate from HS like you.

>>687421176
I'm a 19 year old college student who works part time year round as a cashier to pay for school.

>>687421473
Yes because I retired at 39

Debt is slavery no matter how small the debt it is a link in the chain of slavery.

that is your protip from an oldfag

>>687421675
Because you live with your mom still.

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>I'M A PERSON WITH FEELINGS
>MY OPINION MATTERS
>TREAT ME WITH RESPECT
>would you like to biggie size your order for a dollar more sir

>>687421861
You're just a fag, not an oldfag.

Be me

>go to shop
>stand in line
>approach cashier
>have no items
>put grocery checkout divider on band
>cashier puts it back
>i put it back on the band
>looks at me funny
>ask how much it will be
>calls manager
>i ask again
>says i can keep it
> take and walk out like boss

>>687420988
America

>>687421393
Oh wow you must be a big important guy huh? Hey that's pretty good.

>>687420892
its the polite way of saying do your fucking job you cunt. does the bus driver ask me if i want him to drive for me or the cook at mcdonalds ask if its cool if he makes my burger.

I usually greet the customer with a, "hey, how're you doing?" Feigning politeness.
"Good, what about you?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty good."
"Only pretty good?!"

>>687421868
Yeah and i get to cum in her perfect MILF ass every day. Literally living the incest dream, you jelly wagecuck?

>>687421675
What you think everyone who works retail is on welfare and didn't graduate high school. Jesus Christ your head is so far up your asshole.

>>687421740
I wish I knew more people in college who actually had to work. Its pretty shitty that most colleges assume we don't work at all and mommy and daddy pay our rent and buy our textbooks.

>>687422309
>wagecuck
>be 23
>working my way through collage.
>need to pay rent.
>need to buy food.
>need to pay insurance.

Sorry that you get everything sugar coated for you, but in the real world you get a job to help stimulate and support the economy, and yourself.

>you literally can't comprehend the things I have to complain about at my adult job
>sure is nice only spending ten minutes in this hell
>so, are you guys robots yet?

>Hands you a $100 or a $50
>"I just printed it off today!"

I always check them will a bill marker after they say it just to fuck with em

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>>687419294
Sears fags will know this one.
>Got a diehard battery here that died hard hahahahahahahahaha.

I left my coupon at home, can I still have the discount?

If course not, your dumb cunt

>>687422527
I can only afford community college with my job but if I keep my grades high I could get a scholarship for my transfer school. And so far zero loans at all so I got that going for me.

"You seem like a good kid, you'll have a real job one day"

Me: "Do you want some ketchup for your order?"
Customer: "Can I get some extra napkins?"
Me: "Sure. Here's your order."
*customer looks in bag*
Customer: "Where's the ketchup?!"

>>687421861
39.. on 4chan. Get off the electric picture box old man.

>>687422527
when i was in college at one point i woke up and went to community college then drove into the city and went to state college then left the city and went to one job, then came back to the city and went to another job.

would come home at night and literally take my shoes off, fall in the bed and fall asleep instantaneously. this was for 1.5 years and i had mono for part of the time.

>>687422219
this, they shouldn't have to ask

>>687419824

We recently got the chip readers at my store and customers always say "Oh, I HATE these!"

I ask them why, and they can never answer me. It's like people just need to bitch.

>someone shat in the veggies aisle
literally 100 times a day

Wow its incredible to see how miserable you service industry cunts are. Why not actually roll up your sleeves and do some manual labour if being a waiter or register monkey is too much to handle?

>>687422794
Well definitely keep your grades up then. I'm about to graduate with $40k in debt because I fucked up a lot and took way longer than four years.

>>687421104
Me too man, and the seniors never tell you that
they want senior price until after they pay,
and you can't ask or they get offended

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>>687420067
Holy shit. I get this even more because I'm management.

>how about a discount for something that happened 20 years ago at a different location?

>>687423035
Because I have too much fun cooking pizzas behind the wall were the customers can't see me lick their pepperonis.

>>687421861
Wisdom

>>687421953
k

>>687420067

Then they legit get pissed at you when it's not free

>working drive thru
"Would you like some hot sauce packets ma'm"

Sure

"How many?" (Boss makes us ask and we give as many as they ask + a few more)

Uhh just a handful

If we literally gave everyone a handful of fucking hot sauce we would go broke. You're going to toss them anyway.

>>687423045
Damn guy that's tough.Student loans scare the shit out of me I never even thought about it. I heard way too many horror stories.

>>687423115
>>687423115

Senior Discount days are the worst. It's like the store is full of mummies, and they all need help setting up their Tracfones.

>>687421394
>can I get you anything else?
>yeah, a winning lottery ticket/a million bucks!

God my dad says this when we go out it annoys the hell out of me and I know the waiter thinks it's stupid too

>>687420445
Calm down Kroger employee.
The captcha was store fronts, how amusing.

>>687422600
>collage
Just quit while you're ahead...

>>687422911
That sounds horrible , did you at least graduate in the end?

>>687423035
Someone's gotta do it. And those people are allowed to bitch about annoying things on /b/

>>687422701
that's funny

>>687420669
Underrated af

>>687423436
But anon. my dream is to become a highschool teacher. someone needs to step up and improve the education of our youths.

>>687421176

>> ITT; Normal young people having normal, young-people-jobs

ftfy

>>687420067
shit that doesn't ring up or rings up incorrectly IS free in some states.

it's also free at some STORES. I've used this policy a ridiculous amount of times at harris teeter. I also got a fucking huge brisket at harris teeter that some retard put out with a 3 cent sticker on it. protip hit tare before you weigh not after

When they buy a mobile credit recharge and come back to the shop to ask me how to use it.
When their loyalty card doesn't work and they expect me to fix it.
When somethings not the price on the sign and they assume its my fault.
When something costs alot and all of a sudden I somehow decided all the prices.
When they purposly tear off price tags, (personally I always like to call up my supervisor or spend ages looking through the terminal to find the product, just to piss them off)
When they come to my register even though there is clearly a closed sign on it
When they enter the store 1 minute before closing time
When they try to enter after closing time and dont understand I want to go fucking home

"This is supposed to be on sale, did it ring up the sale price."
"Yes"
And then holds up the line checking the receipt intently afterwards

>anything else?
>a million dollars

>>687421675

Lol, so you graduated HS, got a career and is STILL sitting in your moms basement, browsing 4chin? gtfo

>>687422796
from old men: "So, what are your dreams and what are you doing to achieve them? Remember, work hard or you're shit!"

Gotta love it. I'm a white man tho, probably you niggers and women don't get this as frequently. Also it happens while I'm shopping at stores and never when I was working at them, because old men know you've already failed

>>687420870
Every fucking time

>>687423601
>ITT poor young people having poor young people jobs

ftfy

>>687423441
of course i graduated nigga, you think ima work that hard to not graduate?

>>687420892
We used to lock the courtesy clerks out the back door when they went to take out the trash. Lol you people are useless.

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>Tfw I've said some of this shit and feel my newfound social confidence being undermined.

>>687423771
Sorry I didn't get a 9-5 desk job right outta high school.

>be jimmy johns driver
>pull up to some buisness/house/school to deliver
>"Wow that was freaky fast"
People feel like theyre special when they get their one liner in. Little do they think about the other 50 people who dropped a one liner to us in the service industry in the past 2 hours.

>>687423838

most people said shit like this. nobody is original anymore.

My store only takes check debit cash or American Express to keeps costs low. We make a bigass deal about how we don't accept other forms of payment too.

>working register
>"okay that's $123.98"
>swipes a visa or some other credit card
>"Ma'm, we only take Amex Credit"
>HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PAY THEN?! YOU GUYS ARE LOSING MY BUSINESS NOW

When they tell me it cheaper some where else as if I care.
When they are offended their gift card doesn't work, and tell me that I should be ashamed of myself for working here.
When they report me for not saying "hello, how's it going?
When they can't speak english.

"Can I take your order?"

..........................."Uh"........................"Do you have...........uh........................uh..............."

"How about (whatever their friend who isn't stoned out of their mind just ordered"

"Fuck yeah man and also some skittles"

>>687419695
>No sticker on that one it's free! lolololol
this is me

>>687419824
Chip reader???

Fuck you. You have the easiest god damn job in the world and act like its hard. Old fucks who dont even know what year it is can do your job.

>>687419440
Isn't that the guy from youtube? "That Brown Nerd"

He has great, non-dangerous, pranks, love his vids.

>never say stupid generic shit like in this thread to cashiers or anything
>if i chat an employee up, it's about something directly relevant that is happening at the moment or commenting on a certain product they mention or whatever
>never do annoying or bossy shit to any service person
>this thread makes me feel like a big phantom cashier guy in the sky is giving me a silent nod of approval