if I get dubs, then take off the bandage, and stick a finger inside the wound.

how long are you in there for

>>687121390
Oh, you have a colon problem no?

>>687121486
Too bad buddy and there's a nice opening in the scar just big enough for a finger too

>>687121390
I'm going to guess Apendicitis?

>>687121390
>2016
>not posting your dick

>>687121693
Been here 2 weeks and I'm out tomorrow hopefully

appendix? whats your bill?

>>687121922
holy shit... what was wrong?

Allied??

>>687121879
based on the pics, he doesn't have one anymore

>>687121781
Yeah I've got Crohn's disease. I came in for a colonoscopy and they perforated my bowel. I woke up thinking I was going home but instead I now shit in a bag and have this wicked nasty scar

What happened? You get AIDS from being a faggot?

That's funny, so I'm a surg tech student and today at my site I was playing around and asking what that is.
You got colon cancer bro? Or did you perforate the pooper

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how much are they charging you so i can laugh at your face?

>>687122084
well, chicks dig scars.

>>687121954
Nah that would be a walk in the park, and I'm in the UK so it's free. Maybe if I was in the U.S. They wouldn't have fucked up the colonoscopy in the first place...

>>687121799
kek there u go OP u dubbed yourself into compliance with /b/ law

Have you banged any of the nurses yet?

>>687122212
NHS m8 it's free god bless lizzy

>>687122471
Got my own room and rubbed a few out to the hot ones but I'm too beta for that bro

jerk off into a cup and throughout day put fingers in it and touch nurse inconspiciously in places.
profit knowing u have cummed on ur nurse.
exempt if shes black,if so use piss.

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My room ft the ugliest socks they could find so I don't slip over whilst walking to piss in a bottle for them

>>687122689
At least grab a number before you go.

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Foods here

>>687123304
What's this, a meal for ants?

>>687122084
My wife had diverticulitis, very similar. Youv'e a pretty rough case of crohns to be in for two weeks, but the preforation is exactly what happened to her. It's dangerous shit... caught us both by surprise. Glad you're doing well, it's a wicked nasty game there, septis is right there.... she was showing signs when we went in.

>>687123491
Even in hospital we eat fish and chips m8 but yeah the portions are small. Thanks Cameron

>>687123638
Sorry to hear about your wife bro, the passed two weeks has been hell in only just past the worse bit. I'm on lots of morphine but they can only send me home with paracetamol so that's going to be fun when I go home tomorrow

>>687123870
man... good luck. Is there an option for a reversal on your ostomy?

Throw shit bag at nurse

>>687123669
Ask politely if they can give you two pieces of fish next time.

>>687121390

can you take creepshots of nurses?

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Pissing into bottles all day zzzzzz

>>687124643
Nope, they're removing my rectum in September too, no chance of reversal because my crohns is really bad

>>687121390
Is the stoma permanent or just till your intestine heals?

>>687123011
fuck those socks, i hate them with every fiber of my soul.
uncomfortable
and they wouldnt stay on my feet

>>687124929
Don't normally let the pubes get this long but I don't have the balls to ask for someone to shave them for me

>>687124929
Tell a hot nurse that you thought you'd save it for her when she comes to collect it.

>>687125104
Permanent, my insides are too fucked basically

How old are you?

>>687125274
They have to come collect them and measure them every time I take a leak, they wear gloves though which isn't as fun

>>687122303
They don't fuck up a colonoscopy in Canada. The french are too butthurt to get one! Still free. AND sad!

>>687125362
I turned 20 whilst in hospital 2 weeks back

>>687125310
Do you drive? You can get a clip for your seat belt that stops it catching on your bag. I can't remember what it's called. Your stoma care delivery guy would probably know.

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Tiny desert portions too

Will try and creepshot a nurse but I'm a bit of a pussy so don't get your hopes up /b/ros

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>>687122303
If they fucked it up in the first place, can't you sue them?

>>687126404
Even if you get caught, you'll just become infamous. The nurses will talk, and you might get laid, at least eventually, like, outside the hospital.

>>687126684
I signed a shitty form saying specifically that if they perforated the bowel during the op that they were not liable

>>687126746
You really think the nurses are going to flock to fuck a guy with a bag of shit on his hip?

>>687126967
Is it going to be there permanently though?

>>687126967
Kek bag of shit on my hip. I'm not horrendously bad looking but fucking a nurse ain't gunna happen unless you're famous or something

>>687126915
Damn. I'm guessing that they wouldn't have performed the operation had you not signed the form?

Out of interest, is there a procedure to fix your current state? Or is this permanent?

>>687127094
Yeah, you empty the bag when it's full and put a new bag on every 3 days. My Stoma isn't reversible so it's for life. It's not all bad, I just shit whenever my body feels like it and I never have to worry about shit getting tangled in butt hairs again

>>687127416
Yeah you're on the money, if I didn't sign, they wouldn't do it. And they can reattach it to normal in most cases but because I've had so much bowel removed because they really fucked up, I've got the bag for life

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Delicious food being sent straight through my arteries

So wait I'm not sure how this works

So you carry around a bag and when you gotta shit is there a tube in your ass or what

>>687127748
:/ damn

Got much family? gf? bf?

>>687128736
I think the tube comes out of his intestine/bowel/somewhere around his waist. Just

>>687122084
>has shit bag does not post pics..

>>687129238
Dude it's literally in the first image.

>>687127748
Do you think there is a chance that a doctor SOMEWHERE could fix it? It'd probably be worth paying a lot of money to fix it.

>>687128736
My colon that normally goes to my bowel is detached and brought up through the skin, so the end of my colon that was cut is in the outside of my skin and looks like a pink bulge with a hole in. As food passes through my colon, it just comes right out and into the bag, which I have to empty when it gets full. Because the bowel and rectum is not attached anymore, no food ever gets to it and it just sits there dormant. I never have to shit out my ass because it's not wired up anymore, even my farts come through the bag.

>>687129401
So what you're saying is you're gonna be really tight? :^)

>>687129401
At least you no longer have to clean out your bum hole before anal.

>>687128804
Yeah I got a healthy amount of friends and family that can pity me daily haha. But no gf, and probably no gf for good now I literally carry my shit around with me

>>687122214
but not colostomy bags

Weed helps a lot with Crohn's disease. Even if you don't smoke, you could just eat eatables or something.

>>687129313
There's a lot of complications anyway when you get reconnected, the scar tissue can cause blockages and you can get anal fistulas and lots of nasty shit. Honestly, it sounds grim, but the bag doesn't smell and you can't see any shit. You just empty it twice a day and put a new bag on every 3 days. It's not so bad there's people who have it a lot worse than me I guess

>>687129629
Could they not surgically attach a tube to reconnect your colon? If not now, then maybe given a few years of medical advancement?

>>687129401
Can you still fart? As in you can control them and make massive poppers or do they just flpffplpp out of you casually with no control. Also if you eat a curry and have a massive fart will the bag just fly off like a party balloon?

>>687129629
Find a girl with a colostomy bag too lol

>>687121390
u´r the virginfag with the shitter bag!

>>687129973
Oh dw bro I smoke up every day for my crohn's it literally got me through each day! I'm counting these two weeks as a T break, I'm gunna get mongoled when I get out

are you thinking about suicide

>>687130011
Checked.
Just because people have it worse, doesn't mean you have nothing to complain about. 90% of the globe have it worse than me but i still complain when my internet is slow.

How's your mental health atm? I imagine this could take a toll.

>>687121390
I've been to the doctor a few times due to issues with constant bloating, really weird bowel movements, feeling a lack of complete bowel movement, etc...
I was feared that I had Crohn's disease too. However, the calprotectin test showed no elevated levels, which (I hope) rules out the possibility of it being Crohn's disease and perhaps just IBS...

do you realy think u will ever end up with a chick?

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>>687130146

>>687130115
Yeah I still fart through the bag but I can't control it. And yeah, foods that cause wind will effect me the same as anyone. I laughed at the party balloon thing and think I threw a stitch out. If you have real bad gas you do actually have to release some air out the bag or it will just keep inflating

what about the suicide mission?

>>687130328
This all came at a bad time, I was on anti depressants due to my illness anyway, but I'd been off them for about 4 weeks (6 weeks ago) then this happened. Surprisingly I'm taking it well. I've always seen the bright side of everything normally, and I'm seeing this as a good thing. Before I had this surgery, I was shitting 12 times+ a day due to my crohns and my life was built around being close to a toilet.

>>687130533
You could totally take the bag off and let your shit dribble onto the ground and draw poo-swastikas everywhere when nobody is looking.

>>687130400
I hope so man. Most chicks are shallow as fuck but I guess I could settle for a fat chick who would see passed the fact I shit into a bag full time

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>>687121390
High five colon bro where using the same shit bag.

>>687130336
even IBS can suck but I hope it's not Crohn's bro. It's such a shit disease because a) it doesn't kill you it just makes you suffer b) there's no cure c) everyone thinks you're just being a pussy and you have a little tummy achey wakey

Dude... I've had an ileostomy since I was 14... that's a long time ago. You'll do fine with it. I got married, raise 4 kids and fucked a lot since I got it.

There's dating/meeting sites for guys like us. Be confident and get out there. You'd be surprised how many people have these.

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>>687129629
I like you OP, sounds like you got royally fucked, but you took it in stride.

All I can give you is a wallpaper and an imaginary brofist

>>687121390
What movie should I watch?

>>687131458
Is that coloplast? I use them for my ileostomy.

>>687131116
so you can just shit anywhere, or do you still go to a bathroom? does it still need to be pushed out etc? do you think it will be awkward shitting around people?

>>687131458
Paint flames on the bag.

>>687131808
yeah coloplast, i really like the adhesive on these.

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>>687131458
Wow didn't think I'd see another guy like me in this thread

And that pink bulge covered in shit is my colon coming through my skin, looks delicious /b/oys

>>687132335
hahah you will get used to it man

>>687132024
Nope it just comes out whenever it wants, I just have to go to the bathroom to empty it. And you don't force the shot out, it just moves through the colon as it would your colon, /b/ro but mines cut off and drops into a bag

>>687131754
The most fucked up part of all is I just found a job on 21st April, and when I was hospitalised with a perforated bowel they cut my contract so I'm unemployed again. I was made redundant at 19years old on December 19th last year too.

what hospital are you in?

>>687132335
My sides, I imagined you with girl and shes like wtf is that and you just casually say that's my shit bag

>>687133056
Good hope near Birmingham, UK

>>687133496
I'd try and smash with a shirt kept on and a smaller bag, but if it got spotted I think I'd think of something funny to say that wouldn't send her running for the hills

>>687133959
Maybe you could take it off while you bang and put a cork in the hole?

>>687133708
GUYS, DON'T GO TO THIS HOSPITAL, THEY'LL MAKE YOU SHIT IN A BAG

Doesn't everyone shit in a bag? I thought that was normal

>>687134287
You can actually get a cap for it but it's very short term, if your shut needs to come through and it can't it will either cause some damage or it'll ping out and clock the bitch clean out

>>687122084
>I came in for a colonoscopy and they perforated my bowel.
can you sue for this??

>>687134500
But there's cute nurses here and the food is nice

>>687121390
ignore this--->>>687134831

>>687121390
I dated a guy with one of these and it was no big deal. Never got in the way of sex, I never smelled it, it didn't gross me out. Not all girls are shallow OP, you'll do fine.

>inb4 tits or gtfo

>>687134918
BUT THEY MADE YOU SHIT IN A BAG

>>687133708
I was in Birmingham yesterday could've come visit bought some beer and we could've got drunk.

>>687132100
get the Brava elastic barrier strips. they're great.