>>686963766
The ability to hover when in the presence of hydrogen sulfide

>>686963766
The ability to turn invisible when nothing is watching

>>686963766
the ability to fly 1 inch over the ground for 3 seconds every 87 years.

A girlfriend

Ability to season any food to perfection

>>686963766
The power to be invisible to the opposite sex in the mating pool
Oh, wait...

>>686965360
yup, you're a fag

the power to have an erection

the power to read your own mind

The ability to see through bread

>>686965247
thnx keked like a bitch

>>686965622
Winner

the ability to get gud at any game in less than a second.

The ability to always clog friends toilets

the power to lose your erection when you're about to have sex

the ability to see through glass

>>686967378
Considering that many opaque glasses exists, this can be pretty useful.

I want the power to make anyone fall over

The power to make cheese turn into cum.

The ability to distinguish between grey and gray colors.

the power to sexually attract any nonwhite woman

See through wooden doors.

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>>686968656

The ability to shit in perfect geometric shapes.

>>686963766
The ability to become a cute girl, but only if others will it.

the ability to be blind but only when I close eyes

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the power to get dubs whenever I choose

The ability to charge your phone fully if it is a 100%

The ability to take a shit, if you are holding one.

The ability to turn off your computer, when it's already turned off.

The ability to remove normies from /b, when /b is already long gone.

The ability to turn invisible when no ones looking

The ability to point at a box of kush and have a joint appear directly into my mouth like a bucket of cocks swimming with the fishies uphill, swallowing dunkin' fishdicks with vanilla milkshake.

The ability to summon bottled beverages, but only Diet Mountain Dew.

Turn myself hungry

>>686963766
the ability to turn into a fish when im out of water lel

>>686963766
little flame on my finger so i can light stuff without using a lighter and get 20 seconds of admiration at partys

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>>686971276
That one really got away from you at the end.

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>>686964908
this is not useless.
Turn invisible when nobody is watching but than you stay invisible because nobody can see you at all.

Fly faster than speed of sound, but only upside down and backwards

I wish anytime I dropped something it'd explode gently like from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

The power to hold in a fart for an extra second depending on how many farts you've unleashed in public.

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>>686971810

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOaCCgW_0wY this

the ability to turn stones into midget niggers with a down syndrome.

Power to absorb poops thru anus and regurgitate into Jew crackers

>>686963766
That's my power: YOU know what time it is all the time.

>>686965276
that's fucking useful. you could work in a top restaurant and earn tons of money.

>>686971918
Made me kek

to leap small buildings in a single bound

>>686965630
Fantastic

>>686973816
You're quite dim aren't you.

Can see through clothes but only in complete darkness

>>686973816
To leap small children in a single bound

the power to set off any metal/theft detector. even when naked or not stealing

Fuck minors without ever being caught

>>686974599

How is that useless?

I have the power to talk to furniture. Too bad it can't talk back.

The power to predict the outcome of a book you already know the plot of

The power to bluescreen my pc

>>686974245
Enjoy getting dissected m90

>>686963766
contributing to society

The ability to Do a super jump with my feet but only while doing a handstand

>>686976649
The power to self-dissect

immune to every third bullet

the power to deflect the 13th bullet shot into me

The ability to inhale oxygen and convert it to carbon dioxide

>>686963766
Premonition of your death after suffering a fatal injury

no one could ever see me blink unless I wanted to

>>686971810
Well, hes kinda got a point.
It's like stealth in video games, as long as your not seen before you cloak, youre good to go.

the ability to travel back to 80s tokyo once , in a lively night where the whole city is glowing, talking a walk trough all the streets, afterwards go up in a penthouse with a panorama window , through which i can view the city for hours while the wind blows around me, until i finally jump off the building before the night ends

comunicate with fruit

>>686963766
30 cm hovering for sick spins

>>686965622
>>686965917
actually, this could teach us A LOT. To the point of creating AI, and basically rendering further psychology research useless

To suck dick anytime yes I am a guy

The ability to plant thoughts in people's minds that are completely ignored.

The power to change sex

The ability to jumt up to 4 miles high but have weaker bones

the ability to make powdered water

The hability to stop any bullet but only 24 hours after it was shoot

>>686969971
Perfect

>>686974829
No risk, no fun (?)

>>686971810
a person does not need to see you in order to watch the place you're in...

>>686974144
so you get both darksight and see through? but thats cool

>>686978085
this is kekable

>>686963766
The power to turn wood into slightly harder wood.

>>686963766
the ability to close any thread, but only if you genuinely wanted to contribute

Let's see. Useless but still a superpower that I would want.

Distance viewing, limited range. Can only see things over a million miles from your location. Normal sight works fine.

>>686979237
wood guy here, youd be a trillionair

Ability to bleed out faster when I'm just about to die

>>686979504
>wood guy here
I always knew you existed..

No matter what, it always takes at least 5 seconds for me to remember my name.

>>686979237
i have this power

Immunity to poison ivy.

be able to cum on apples

>>686968763
Lmfaooo. Just be white dude ;)

>>686981373
so now you're unable?

>>686970977
*posts sad pepe*

the power to create light, earth, life and to tell said life it's wrong to masturbate

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the power of succesfully baiting all of 4chan and /b/

>>686963766
The power to breathe through my nappies.

>>686977363
REEEEEEEeeeeeeee^e^^e^^^e

The ability to steal rare pepes

have superhuman strength for one minute once a day
or the ability to eat everything and get full

The ability to convert oxygen to carbon dioxide.

>>686973131

No you couldn't. You wouldn't have the contacts to get even close to the top. You would start out as a minimum wage cook at some shit chain until you proved yourself.

>>686982788
man i have some good news for you

The power to stop niggers from stealing

>>686963766
Invisibiluty

The ability to read people's minds. But you would forget what their thoughts were. You know when you try thinking of a dream you had but you can only remember a vague feeling? It would be like that.

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>this thread


The ability to become internet explorer

>>686983018
Become a hangman

>>686963766
The ability to summon a lamp... once.

invisibility but everyone could see me except for myself

>>686963766
The ability to talk to cats but not when they are around

Normal vision

>>686983409

It's called amazon and you can do it more than once NIGGER

The power to convince myself that I'm invisible.

>>686983434
this is self-confidence

>>686983492

>tfw I wish I had this super power

>>686983518
But niggers don't pay..... damn I am a nigger

>>686967013

not a superpower

>>686983519

I wonder if you would be considered retarded

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Remove black bar from pictures

pre-1980s USSR

The ability to go back in time one second but I could only use it every 2 seconds

ability to teleport anywhere outside of our solar system

the ability to turn my own turds into Vietnamese Dongs

>>686983872
HUEHUEHUE SO SMART N FUNNY XD

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>>686983825
anyone can do that

>>686963766
grow my hair faster

>>686964175
kek

>the ability to hack into any windows 3.1 computer system

All these summer fags are doing it wrong. You're supposed to say how it's NOT useless. Not agree fucking fags.

Be able to rape non conceived girls

The power to be able to tell what time it is at any given moment

>>686963766
The power to change the texture of your shit before you take it

The ability to melt jet fuel with steel beams

>>686963766
for no one to notice me samefag

the power of knowing trigonometry

The power to get dubs everytime

>>686984617
I already have this power...pretty useful. Btw i have an approximation of 2 minutes more or less.
Thanks adhd

>>686985445
useless and get dubs choose one

>>686963766
The power to close common house doors

>>686984758
but this would cause a serious paradox

The ability to be a newfag forever.

The power to use turn signal while driving

>>686963766
having cp to post on 4chan but only through tor

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The ability to be happy :(

>>686971611
the ability to turn into a fish that explodes on contact with liquids

The power of hindsight

>>686979366
I have this, and the dubs confirm it.

>>686986660
I should have waited a bit before posting that

>>686986092
Woah anon that's some wishful thinking. What you think that just anyone can go around Willy nilly flicking a stick to help transfer information to other drivers about their dessions of making a turn.
What's wrong with you

The almighty power of extreme autism

The power to detach your limbs at any moment but not be able to grow them back.

>>686963766
The ability to tie and untie shoe laces with your mind, but they can't be on anyone's feet

>>686986660
>>686986722
Top kek. Lost it

>>686968756
Negroid or god-tier baiter

>>686977564
fag

>>686963766
The power to turn diamonds into c.z.

>>686986660
>>686986722
underrated super power.
>gonna watch the coon

>>686968656
This is my favorite one out of the thread.

The ability to hang out with Eggman but only when I crave cake

The power to become a nigger when the cops are approaching

>>686987285
Kek'd

>>686987285
but think of the profit for society

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I wish the ability to ignore stupid opinions. Preferable those involving anyone being a "Mary Sue"

the ability to breath underwater, but only if you are complete dry

∆
∆∆

>>686984617
>Owning a watch

Being able to endlessly stretch my neck outward, but cannot retract it.

The ability to deflect the 13th bullet.

the power to lift the same amount of weight with one hand i can lift with two hands at the cost of temporarily paralyzing my other hand

The ability to turn vine into water.

>>686988141
guess who is gone survive the school shooting next week

The power to say "I'm not racist but..."

>>686969479
underated post

>>686970058
That's actually realy useful. Your hearing and sense of everything would improve a lot. You would be a superhuman.

>>686987840
I mean, it could stop you from drowning if you inhaled water.
And plus, people tell me my personality is dry, so I guess you could say I could possibly have it.

>>686963766

It's not useless but it would be super awesome to never have to go to the bathroom. Probably spend 4 or 5 hours a day shitting, so I could stop all kinds of crimes if I had that time back...

The ability to breathe underwater but only when you're on land.

>>686963766

the ability to superminicomputer superfluousnesses yellowishnesses disantiestablishmentariantism yachtmanship

the ability to read and write binary at a beginner level so long as a translator is available.

The ability to turn into a muslim alqaeda worshipper but you can't blow up.

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>>686988141
>>686976874
>>686976897

>>686988640

You can win a lot of bets with that power

Also, if someone tries to drown you, if you can touch land somehow you wont

>>686988534
all those years of education were wasted on you...

>>686963766
The power to regenerate your dick for unlimited orgasms and cummies
>but you can only fuck dudes and traps.

>>686976807

>hand stand while leaning on a wall
>land your feet on the wall, kick and jump away

>>686963766
Turn crack into cocaine and back

The ability to fly but only using farts and suffering from abdominal pain

>>686972318
in text. the power to turn away and talk quietly when you get angry or intimidated and the power to dish and undish the dishes as long as you undish them before anybody uses them

>>686963766
The UK

The power to cure every fictional illness.

>>686988996
Well, sorry I'm stupid.

>>686989153
HOLY SHIT KEK

the ability to make anyone eat shit and die without noticing it

>>686963766
Being able to swim

>>686989153
>kek

>>686989153
This

>>686989153
Genuinely didn't get this at first lmfao

>>686963766
The power to have unlimited super powers but only useless ones.

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>>686963766
The power to save humankind

>>686989153
Laughed way too hard at this

>>686976874
>>686976897
shoot 2/12 bullets into hand and then russian roulette or western standoff.

You have the ability to read every book ever created but you can't understand any of it.

>>686989153
Somebody screenshot this

>>686989145
This caught me off guard lmao

Ability to see through glass.

>>686986763
you can already do that faggot
you just need a chainsaw

ability to love OP

>>686977782
change sex like completely?

the ability to comb my hair like Donald Trump

>>686989153
Don't get it someone explain

>>686988832
the ability to rea and write

>>686979237
does it work on the same piece of wood twice?

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>be me 9
> just peed in my mouth
>tasted pretty good
>feel asleep
>I dream
>cum everywhere
>wake up and ask perent .jpg
> why is my bed so sticky
My prents face when I have it in my mouth

>>686989999
CHECKEM

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>>686989999
Nope, but i will check that

>>686990022
The power to check triple dubs

>>686990022
of course not. Also, checked

>>686966714
Useful, become pro gamer, get paid to play.

>>686989999
WINRAR

But he's a fucking idiot sooo

The ability to instantly grow wings after an impact on the ground

Ability to get thirsty every time there's no water around.

Ability to go back in time but only one billionth of a second every 400 hundred years.

Ability to smell nigger ass hole every time I see a hot girl.

>>686989999

useless superpower = UK

>>686989999
>>686990011
>>686990022
All three in a row. This thread is holy

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>>686989153
>inb4 Amerifats, donuts etc.

>>686990231
>trip
>fall
>get sweet wings
how is that useless

>>686989153
Quads replied to this

The ability to make a female clone of myself for an hour at a time

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>>686988141
>>686976897

>>686989153
>>686983872

>>686989737
>>686967378

The amount of faggots here basically repeating other faggots' jokes.

>>686990373
Don't worry I'm British I can say it

>>686963766
the abiity to grow and shed pubic hair at will.

>>686989999
UK failed as an empire or superpower in a sense of importance in the world.
America, China ,Japan, Germany and even a former colony of britain India are now stronger and more important

>>686965630
>>686973898
Tactical Bread Walls? Could be useful in the army.

The ability to feel like a normal person

>>686989999
The ability to quad it whenever I want

>>686990591
And then there's you who doesn't even have a joke. Kys faggot

>>686990231
>The ability to instantly grow wings after a mortal impact on the ground
corrected

>>686990593
so you just discovered your superpower. Time to make that cool costume

>>686963766
the ability to not poop

>>686963766
United Stated of America

>>686990814
Fuck... How the fuck do I make that

>>686990713
I've already posted shit in this thread. And either way, not posting anything at all is better than retoasting unoriginal shit. That is one of the (many) things killing /b/. Lack of creativity or originality.

>>686990861
>United Stated of America

>>686990973
ask Marvel for ideas. If not possible just wear some underwear over your clothes. Scream some catchphrases.

Whenever you need help, there's always someone near you that is able to help you, but never is willing to help you.

>it's called college

>>686991121
>what is a typo

the ability to look way cooler than anybody, when I look myself into the mirror

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>>686989012
>useless

>>686991801
only if she has a femenine penis

>>686983518
Fucking kek

>>686963766
Ability to read minds only when they're thinking about food.

The ability to shit bricks