Today I woke up. Even worse, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror....

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>>686840818

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Bump

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dukkha is not some theoretical postulate, it is reality

>>686842428
Then they don't care either, they just pretend
I don't know which is worse

gf left me today so ive been masterbating and popping percs. maybe ill take a few shots

>>686842428
But we're all dying.

I had a dream a couple nights ago where my ex was talking to me again. She was ready to forgive me for my shitty behaviour.

Then stupid dream shit happened like I had to flee for my life, and I was never gonna see her again.

I fucked up real bad. I don't know how to earn her forgiveness, if that is even possible. I think it is too broken to fix.

I'm so lonely

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Come to the sleepover

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-AmJlEJRLg

>tfw finally feel feels again after ages and it gets ripped away from you and then dead inside again.

>>686840818
same feeling lonely asf :(

>>686843775
Ik how u feel, i fucked up too

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>>686843775
This happened to me years ago, it doesn't get better, you'll always hate what you did, she will never forgive and she will eventually leave for good. Move on anon, I wish someone told me to instead of wasting 2 years fixing a mistake that I couldn't fix

I turn 20 today. Sitting alone, not many friends. My family are still around but we're not close. I want to hang myself.

I genuinely wonder if happiness is something I'll ever feel ever again or if I'm chasing an illusion. Like a man dying of thirst in a desert, running to what he thinks is an oasis, a haven, relief from his suffering, only to be disappointed when he arrives at the destination he so longed to get to.

>>686845852
please don't.

>>686845852
dont do it.

>>686845852
Don't lose hope anon, your patience will be rewarded soon enough

I'm feeling like I honestly will never be as happy as I was all those years ago. I think I'm only dragging everyone else around me down in the chaotic spiral that I've been going down too. It seems like every attempt I have made to get out of this hell has just gone up in smoke. I wonder why keep on going when I've already tried. What's left to try? What difference will it make? Why live when I'm already dead? Why not just put myself out of my own misery?

I'd get professional help if only it didn't cost so much and if I wasn't so damn broke.

see a therapist if you need to. it'll be worth it

>>686846984
tell me anything you want anon I'm here.

Do you guys talk to someone? Professional or not, do you have someone to talk to?

>>686846984

You can speak here, we are all listening.

Hands down /b/ro we're here for you. Brothers till the end

>>686847282
I'm stuck in life and every attempt I have made has just gone up in smoke. I'm starting to lose all sense of hope. If every other attempt I have made has failed, why bother? At what point is enough? All I want is something that isn't this. I'm 22 and I have no idea what I want to do.I have a mother who doesn't think I can pursue a goal (if indeed I could find one), a dad who worries about me and a job that's not stable enough to keep me going. I hope you're still there. As always, there's never an easy answer once asked what's wrong.

>>686848013
>picture for ants

>>686847939
That didn't go where I expected

>>686841051
EDGE
D
G
E

Is there any point in living when you're dead inside anyway?

I'm >>686843775
>>686847338

I saw a professional for a little while. 6 sessions. I decided it might be a good idea because I had started making very detailed plans to an hero. It didn't really go anywhere because I have already thought about everything a lot, there was no advice or anything like that that could help, I just have to keep doing what I'm doing and hope it gets better.

Decided to stop going, because there didn't seem to be anything she could do to help me, except to talk about depression and anxiety, which wasn't helpful for me because I don't really need to talk about it, I just need to stop feeling this way.

She would always talk about techniques and shit to get past something difficult, and to understand that I have the strength to get through this shit. I don't necessarily struggle to get through the anxiety and stuff, I just want to not feel it? I'm sick of feeling anxious all the time.

I am mostly just venting rn cos I had a really shit night last night.

>>686845852
If youre gonna kill yourself, do a fucking flip while that ropes on ya. Go big ir go home amirite nigga

>>686848773
u should've been >an hero

>>686849027
shit I fucked up

Why do I feel and overwhelming sense of guilt whenever I think about ending my life?

>>686848075
do you know where you're trying to go in life?

>>686840818
/b will only entertain just so far. it's always been up to you, Anon.
Go an hobby.

>>686849168
prob cause you feel for the people who you don't think care about u but subconsciously you know they do

>>686849194
No. All I know is that I hate where I'm at now.

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>>686845852
Happy birthday!
Stay strong /b/rother, there are always things worth living for, and there will always be a better day coming for you

>>686849414
That cut me deep because it's true and I can't deny it.

three years i spent with her. i actually made the move because of some advice right here on /b/.

last year we were making plans to move in together, when poof, another one of our tiny arguments spiralled into her breaking up with me.

my battles with anxiety and depression turned me into such a shit boyfriend, now i have to deal with being blocked on literally everything whilst i see her online having fun...

>>686849645
just go up to them and hug your family and say you love them

>>686849445
Make a list of the things you hate about your life now. doesn't have to be exhaustive just top 10.

>>686845852
if you really are set on it then do it but just wait a day maybe you feel better and for fuck sake don't sit there feeling bad for yourself affect some change in you life, I used to be a lonely fag like you now I'm in a relationship with an awesome person my surgery fixed me and I'm going back to college, I know the feel but all it takes is determination. :) oh and smile once in a while even if your not happy it might help

>>686850009
what type of surgery? also so close to quads

Maybe I'd be able to kill myself if not for dreams, or maybe I'd not be so depressed without them.
They're so fucking soul-crushing.

>>686840818
\one of the only people i actually went out of my to speak with during some of my troubled years online I can't find

we talked a lot, but i stopped once I tried to focus on my life and dropped tumblr...still have his number, 2 pictures, and his skype.

i'm hoping his number still works cause i texted him....i want him back in my life again. i hope i can find him again

i've grown up now...

I have PTSD and just started with real therapy after masking it for 10 years with alcohol, drugs, self harm & an eating disorder. I feel like a molted snake, just shed my skin and totally exposed and vulnerable, detoxed and weight restored and sober. Now my team keeps encouraging me to talk, open up, not to shut down now that I've come this far, but I feel like I'm at my breaking point. I'm suddenly looking down at 10+ years of pain and violence without any of the things I would normally use to cope. Whenever I try to talk, even when I feel like I'm going to split in half with the force of everything pushing to get out, I freeze and can't get the words out. It's easier to type it out...but even that feels overwhelming and increasingly difficult. I want to be a functional member of society again, but at this point I think I'm just too fucked up for repair.

>>686848773
Sadly, from my personal experience I'd say that most so-called professionals are full of shit, but there are some that actually help and I had to spend 9 years from therapist to therapist until I finally found the right one, an internist. God was he the best. I improved more than I ever thought I could, I stopped feeling anxious and I was even able to go back to university, which I had left after a nervous breakdown and anxiety attack partly thanks to my "friends".
Of course it's not the same for everyone, and I hope that if you try again, you don't need 9 years, but it gets better anon

>>686850184
what are your dreams?

Good timing. About a year ago, my girlfriend cheated on me. I broke up with her, and I was crushed. She dumped him after a week and started texting me again. I didn't ever respond until about 2 months ago, and then after a month of talking we got back together. We have fallen back into the point where we never talk, never go out, and I'm trying to convince her to move in with me with little success. She doesn't care and is probably back fucking another guy. What's the point if I can't kick my feelings for her, and she takes advantage of that?

>>686845894
pain is temporary being someone who has experienced a physical and mental pain quite a bit i can tell you that eventually whatever is hurting you stops but when it does it's your responsabilty to stop it from happening again and like i said to the other guy you have to affect change in your own life dont sit there and wait for it chase it for real :) oh and smile even if your not happy it might help

>>686850287
Leave her for good

>>686850287
I also should add I was diagnosed with chronic depression when I was 16.

What really REALLY gets to me is all the little bullshit things people say and their advice.

"Oh why do you look so tired anon?"

"Don't be sad there are people who have things much worse than you!"

And then the lies I have to spin day after day.

And being reminded of all my fuck ups.

And trying hard to reach my dream but being constantly pulled down by other factors.

Honestly if it wasn't for my dream, I think I wouldn't still be here. It's the only thing that keeps me going.

>>686846684
Dont get stuck in the past it's not there anymore any mistakes you made are done lamenting over them will not help you need to do something start with talking to people wherever you go if you do not go then start going pain goes away and will not haunt you if you accept what you did and move on:) oh and smile even if your not happy it might help.

>>686850420
I'd chase something if only I knew where to run from.

>>686850188
Fuck, I hate that feeling of losing a connection with somebody.

It's like they died, when you have no way of contacting them.

I had a fantastic friend while I was studying, we were best of friends for 3 months. Her boyfriend got jealous and told her to stop talking to me, so she did. No way to find or contact her ever again. One of the few people I've ever really clicked with (There have been 3 people, one is my ex, and the other is a girl I met online but she doesn't have time to go online much so we can't talk that often).

Good luck anon, I hope you find your friend.

>>686846984
Im good at listening email me here [email protected]

This is for anyone who wants to talk

>>686850287
Hey I was in a similar situation. Your brain might tell you to stay but you have to leave. It'll be hard and it'll hurt, but it'll kill you if you don't.

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>>686840818
>Be me
>Undesirable beta fag 1/10
>Somehow land a job at KFC over the summer
>Have to go in every day at 6am to deal with niggers wanting chicken
>Doyouevensleep.jpg
>I never had such a shitty experience with niggers before I came here
>Degenerates come in asking for KFC Bucket meal
>Niggerplease.exe
>I put drums, breasts, and legs into big bucket
>Notice the niggers get impatient from waiting
>Eventually they scream at the cashier about slow progress, poor girl
>Everyone overhears this, I decide to step up
>Lean real close, closer than I've ever been with a monkey
>Envious rage fills the nigger, he looks ready to pounce
>Various niggers hoot and howl as his backup
>Ease as close as I can get, bucket in hands, ready to deliver
>Nigger comes up to my ear: "Read the first letter of every sentence"

>>686850680
What dream?

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>>686850287
dump her and convert to 2D, its the only way to get real happiness

Its been a long time since anyone has hugged me or had much physical contact with me Its depressing

>>686850274
dreams of just enjoying time with others. And they have that perfect art aesthetic VISUAL EMOTION thing that I try to experience with movies but nothing comes close and life's nowhere near as happy and raw as in dreams.

>>686847939
dude...

>>686850813
Email me sad fag and we can talk [email protected]
:)

>>686850188
I hope you can find him, I really do.

>>686850202
Fuck u buddy now i'm crying at work.

Thanks for the message.

>>686850892
we dont need your faggotry

I have been single for 5 years, haven't had any friends in 2 years, i sit alone all the time in my apartment aswell in the weekends.
I'm so fucking lonely.. I wish i had someone in my life, but my family lives more than an hour away from me and i haven't spoken to them in 3 weeks now.. Also, i currently have bills for 900$ but i don't have an income anymore.
I really wish i had a life that was different

>>686850892
Queer

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>>686848773
Therapy dies help. But you have an unrealistic expectation which is holding you back. Your problems with your feelings can't be fixed literally, they are something you deal with forever until you die. You were made that way, you can only deal with it better but you can't fix it.
Some one told me something that helped me feel OK.
>as everyone else has to give 100%, YOU are going to need to give 150%
This is how we are forced to live, but that's OK because life is beautiful

>>686850889
You know I've always wanted to be an astronaut? I know the odds, but it gives me something to fight for and that's the most important thing. Ever since I was a kid I've tried to do everything to meet that dream. I

Finding something to fight for is the most important thing to me that keeps me going.

I can hardly shave properly because it requires looking at myself in the mirror at the start of the day.

Take care of your body by exercising and making good nutrition choices. Take care of your mind by reading or sudoku or whatever, something to focus on. Take care of your true self through meditation and mindfulness, gracefully disregarding what is false and embracing what you know is true.

>>686851173
email me and I will give you advice or listen to your problems [email protected] :)

>>686850680
I was living with my aunt for about 6 months and this basically.

Hate having to pretend you're a normal person who doesn't want to kill themselves every day.

Once I couldn't deal w/ it, and I stayed in bed all day. She came in and asked why I'm still in bed and I just started crying. Later at dinner she was like "hey at least you got a roof over your head and food to eat". Gee thanks a lot, asshole.

>>686851009

i hope so too...he's probably off in college so...

i also have his birthday and his birth place. last spoken to him march 2015.

i can try and track him down, but would he even want to talk to me...

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My best friend and unrequited love keeps going back to her abusive ex boyfriend junkie. He insults her, makes fun of her, makes her cut herself. And she knows he's bad for her but doesn't care. I've told her I love her and she doesn't need him but she ignores me and goes off with him. I've been friends with her for almost 2 years and she's been the best friend I've ever had. We both suffer from clinical depression and she's often depressed and I'm there for her but she's never there for me. She takes me for granted. We've been arguing for the past 3 days and it sucks. Sorry for my sob story

>>686851386
if you guys hit it off so well I think he would be glad to talk to you

>>686850929
I know the feel. A good friend of mine (who I haven't seen in a while) gave me a long hug. Honestly I project this calm and collected persona onto everyone (and I played it all cool like with the hug).

It took most my willpower to let go of her and not just break down then and there.

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>>686850887

>>686845894
Sadness a drug. You keep doing things that make you sad not because it feels goid but because you know when you stop it will hurt so much worse

>>686851252
Makes me happy to know that you're trying
I hope you find something more to go on though, that's always better. Good luck anon

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>>686840818

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgeoWlqM4i8

>>686851510
she doesn't deserve you if someone treats you like shit what makes you treat them differently

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>>686851532

we did, i mean, he gave me his number and we talked before and were always on good speaking terms

but...time changes people, and he might've moved on.

i was also interested in him...i didn't realize what i had until it was gone

>>686851017
Would you like to talk sometime?

>>686849986
1. I hate where I live
2. I hate the fact that my job isn't supporting me/I'm not getting as many hours as I'd like.
3. I hate the fact that I keep fucking up every attempt to improve/it just falls flat on it's arse and there's almost nothing that can be done.
4. I hate that I won't reach out because I'll bring everyone else down with me to my level.
5. I hate that I'm my own worst enemy. I feel like every major decision (the prospect o university for example) scares me too much and I go back to my little hole.
6. I hate that I feel drained of energy, motivation and willingness.
7. I hate that I sometimes get too comfortable with the idea of death and yet I know it will send some people down to where I am now.
8. I hate that some people just can't seem to fucking understand where I'm coming from, why I am the way I am and why I feel stuck.
9. I feel like too many people are trying to live vicariously through me and expressing myself will only end in a fight.
10. I hate other people being happy and asking me, almost condescendingly, why I'm so miserable/morbid/depressed/annoyed/cynical.

>>686851628
Don't worry anon, with a dream like that comes many MANY different things to live for.

Now I just work to the next small thing and cherish every single victory I get no matter how small.

>>686851628
Good luck and godspeed to you too anon.

>>686851621
Go on...

>>686851199
Man, if I'm going to have to have anxiety for the rest of my life, I don't want it.

Just give me some pills to numb that shit.

>>686851792
I doubt it guys usually don't move on from friends in my experience he prob thinks about you from time to time I know I do sometimes

>>686850287
Get a church girl or some shit, less likely to cheat cuz of religious reasons, also would look bad on her family as a whole if their daughter did something blasphemous

>>686851830
That's a great mindset, nice!
>>686851992
Thank you

i've been a full-on NEET for 7 months, a shut in apart from school for ~8 years. it feels like there's no way to get out or advance forward. i don't have friends and my family hates me. i don't even have drugs or alcohol to pass the time. i can go months at a time with my emotions off but i'm really feeling it tonight. everything is so hopeless. i don't know why i'm still hanging on, there is no future for me. i'll never be happy or even have a normal life.

hold me /b/

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>>686840818
Think you're alone? I have nobody. No wife, family, no friends. The only people I talk to are coworkers, and thats only superficial shit, I have nothing to say about a life, because I dont have one.

>>686848556
I seriously just shed a tear while reading this

...then I read the end and had to chuckle a bit...

>>686851792
your name isnt gus is it?

>>686852255

no, it's aj. sorry man

>>686851756
I've been the weird fat guy all my life and she was the first person to not see me as that. The first person aside from family to care about me. She means so much to me and I'm so attached I can't help but care

>>686848657
this is what i think about every day.
i'm living not for my sake, but to not hurt the ones closer to me

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My story isn't nearly as sad as some anons, but it is sad to me anyway.

There is someone I like very much but I only get to see her at the end of the year for a short period of time, she likes me too really want to do everything for me. She wants to be the perfect stay at home wife and to top it all she was a virgin. As the time goes by my family and her family begin to fuck things up and we talk with each other less and less, I even missed one of my yearly visits. I'm feeling dead inside because we are going to go to college and I'm not this innocent, I know that in college she could find someone else and simply cheat on me or leave me forever, what hurts me more isn't she leaving me, it is this feeling of this decaying relationship.

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>>686852235
YLYL > feels

>>686852335
well try to get out and do some sports and try to get on a diet

>>686852311
yeah see im in like your opposite position i was helping this guy out and he just disappeared i hope he didn't kill himself

>>686852340
Exactly.
Tell me, is it better to feel attached to someone, only to get your heart broken when they leave you one way or another, or is it best to not form any attachment with anyone at all so that you never feel such a crushing pain?

>>686848556
You guys are my niggas

>>686851808
Tbh I would, but I find it hard to talk to people because I really, really don't relate with 99% of people.

But hey I'm always up for trying to make friends.

You got skype or something?

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Who was there for Frank sinutra's funeral?

>>686848556
Thank you for that anon. Thank you so fucking much.

>>686852503
You can pretty much expect to have her find someone in college, these puppy love high school situations always die when college comes into the mix. Sorry, but thats life.

>>686851287
good advice.
it's so sad that we know what do but we can't do it right...

>>686853024
RIP buddy.

>>686845852
Wow. Most of the people on /b/ told you to not do it. That definetly is a signal.

>>686845852
Anon i know how fucking stupid this sounds but ill be there for you, someone ive never met ill be there for you

>>686852737
i'm with the later, but i always have hope that i will find someone special.
you know, that ilusion.
i can't connect with anyone, i feel like there aren't any people around me i can express my feelings and thoughts so i'd rather keep to myself

>>686853109
Yes, it's the honest authentic effort that counts. Not that I'm an expert. I just know it's true and important.

>>686845852
Where are you located? I'll hang out with you

>>686853007
what's this supposed to mean

>>686852990
Hey, there's no problem with trying
I do have skype, but I'm not so sure about posting it here

>>686852503
Start talking to other girls. I know it isn't easy. It isn't easy for me either but the relationship is decaying. It's dying. You can try to bring it back to life but if that doesn't work have a backup plan.

>>686852727

i wish you the best...do you guys think it'd be weird if I put together a profile along with everything I know to find him?

i mean, i know a lot about him, and i have leads, but i don't want to be that stalker guy...

>>686853486
I feel bad for the people who have it so hard with health and shit one thing I thank my parents for is that they raised me healthy still have a shit mind though

Anon here.
Keep on keeping on /b/ro's.
You got this.

>>686853637
do you like him and do you want to find him if you answered yes to those then do it don't let social norms hold you back you do what you do for those you love good luck bro

>>686848552
I want everybody to know. I just act like I don't want to.

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okay before this thread 404's
here

>>686853921
>jojo
fuck man

>have girlfriend of 2.5 years
>go to school out of town, have summer classes so I wont be back for the summer
>she hangs out from time to time with some friends (females) that she works with
>the past couple of times these girls have brought along this guy they work with
>always kinda thought this guy had a crush or something on my girlfriend as he always seemed flirty when dealing with her
>these hangouts dont really bother me though. Think nothing of them
>on one occasion on of her friends brings up the fact that the guy has feelings for a girl they work with, but she cant tell my girlfriend or the other girl who it is
>furthers my belief that its mine but again no big deal
>fast forward to today
>having fairly large graduation party for her sister
>mostly family, but she invites her work friends, they suggest she invite the guy which she does
>for some reason this has me feeling uneasy
>havent heard from her since the party started
Idk why its bothering me. Its stupid. But not hearing from her is making it worse, which also normally wouldnt bother me, I understand its a party and you might not be on your phone or whatever. But I got a snapchat from her that was obviously for someone else. When I asked what it was about she opened it but said nothing. So it ig bothers me that she is apparently on her phone. Idk I am probably over thinking this all and being a bitch

>>686853103
Yeah, I'm already preparing for this. I know that it being a long distance relationship she will probably fall for her friends talk or the chads talk. Thanks for answering anon.

>>686854111
gg anon
you're with sara now
:(

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>>686853897

i fuking do...

i'll wait a few days though. don't want to turn stalker when he can respond at any time.

i only knew him by his screen name, but he did tell me his real first name before, but he didn't like it so i called him by his screen.

wish me luck /b/, i hope he's still out there

Pussies. Only real people are friendless.
Everyone is fake. You aren't missing anything.

>>686854369
shes cheating on you
sorry /b/ro

>>686854514
well good luck i hope he likes you too and when you find him appreciate your time with him god speed mate

>>686854369
Trust your gut, shes probably fucking someone else. I had a similar thing happen.

>>686853629
It's a bit hard. As I said, I only see her in the end of the year, the rest of the time we just talk through the phone.

> It isn't easy for me either

Care to share your story?

I continue to talk to my ex. Shes still everything i want and we still claim to be best friends. Although she says she cares about me, she acts like she doesnt. She brings up the past sometimes and it hurts. I think she has moved past us but it still kills me inside to think of what we had. It was so wonderful. But i dont think she feels the same. And she wont even consider how it makes me feel when she brings it up. She says she can voice her own thoughts if she pleases. It hurts a lot.

>>686854514
GA WAGA TEKI WO KURAU

>>686854369
Move on

>>686854369
Like other anons have said, trust your gut.

Just remember one thing, once (and if) this situation comes to light, the blame will keep being thrust on you. It's not your fault for any of it. Just remember that.

>>686854397
You're really better off just not even getting into the long distance thing. It's only a matter of time, save yourself the trouble. Not trying to be a dick, just telling you the truth.

Who else /puttinginavalianteffortatbeinghappydespitefeelinglikeshitallthetime/ here?

>>686854369
Consider that she might be cheating, don't be dumb, but try to trust her as long as you don't have proof, at least as far as she may know. Say something incorrect and you're fucked, whether she cheated or not

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>>686854772

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>>686853617
I just made a throw away e-mail. E-mail me at [email protected] ?

Pic for proof it me. Can you do the same in your e-mail please?

I hope you're still there. Internet is kind of shit sorry.

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>>686854997

even though i'md epressed, that's still funny

thanks

>>686854111
Jesus. Actually shed a tear or two.

>>686853617
If you're still here, see >>686855205
I gotta go afk for a while so if the thread is still here (which I doubt) I'll check back here but otherwise I'll check that e-mail.

She broke up with me today.

She had been distant for a while and about two weeks ago she told me she wasn't happy and wanted to take a break while she sorted out her issues and told me I needed to focus on mine.

She said I was depressed and I need to work on being happy. It's funny because being with her was one of the things that made me genuinely happy.

I just feel numb now.

>>686840818
>be me
>23yo
>1year long depression
>04:32 AM at my country
>cant sleep
>smoking some weed
>thinking about how I wasted my life
>watching myself writing on /b/

Not everything is so bad.

>>686854111
Fuck that hurts.

Do any of you know if the suicide hotline even works at all? i want to try it but i feel like its bullshit and they wont help you at all...

>>686855812
I know the feel anon. Gf told me same thing. I still talk to her because we were best friends before. It seems like she is moving on with me around, and i just sit here and hope that one day she'll tell me she loves me.

>>686848556
Ty, i need a hug but ill never admit.... It..... Dammit!

i can't live a single day without feeling pain and anxiety. i spend a lot of time on bed trying to sleep, my heart races and i start to have undesired thoughts.
it's taking a lot of strenght to get up and go out.

>>686855898
weed aside... are you me? even the same fucking hour

>>686854920
>>>686851510
That's my story here.

>>686845852
Happy Birthday brother

Fuck Bros.
I've been on a little break with my gf for a week now.
Things got a little tense between us and apparently she felt like she needed a break from me for awhile.

I blame it on my Insecurities, my lack of accomplishments like going straight to college and getting my drivers liscense as son as I could. I'm three years graduated from high school and I've done fuck all and I feel like I'm just dragging her down. I have been putting my shit together finally but what if I'm too late. I'm just scared of losing her, losing what we've built for four years now.

I'm meeting the sister I didn't know I had in a few days and I'm nervous as fuck

>>686851199
Life is a shitfest of disappointment not nearly worth all the trouble. The trick is keeping yourself occupied with dumb shit so you don't notice untill the feeling of beingg unfulfilled ties a noose around your neck.

>>686856092
Same thing happened, don't bother waiting around

>>686848556
da feels mang

>>686856528
I'm scared you'll lose her too. You need to get your shit together and be open to work with her on what's wrong with the relationship. 4 years is a long time.

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I'm cripplingly lonely
I have no friends
I'm terrible at socializing
I can only hold a conversation if someone talks about themselves
This in turn only gravitates me towards selfish people
I wish I could just talk and not over think everything
And I'm mostly quiet
I try my hardest but nobody finds my company enjoyable
It's like what's the point of being here anymore
It physically hurts my heart to be sad now and I don't know why
I just don't want this anymore

>>686845852
Been exactly where you are man, I know it sucks. Just get through the night, tomorrow is a new day. Happy birthday bro.

>>686857035
location?

>>686856092
>I still talk to her because we were best friends before. It seems like she is moving on with me around, and i just sit here and hope that one day she'll tell me she loves me.

That's exactly where I'm headed I fear. She told me that she would always love me and we'd still be friends, she even said that we might get back together after we work some things out but I have no clue.

I need to get my shit together but it's hard when the main reason for self improvement just walked out.

>>686850929
Yeah same here. Women left me 3 years ago. Haven't been intimate, hugged, kissed in that long as well. Been thru severe anxiety like to the point my body was mocking heart attacks. The only thing that long term helps is accepting yourelf and situation and taking responsibility for yourself. Just talking from experience, hang in there anon, things will get better and you will be back to ur old self again, i promise.

>>686854652
>>686854834
>>686855003
Is it really that likely she is cheating? And yeah. If something is happening I wont let that shit be put on me.

>>686855167
Yeah I dont want to fuck up. I mean its not like we have been having any sort of issues or anything like that. She is really a great girlfriend, doesn't seem like the kind to cheat tbh. But still, just have a shitty feeling.

>>686845852
happy birthday to you! from far far away.

>>686840818
Go fap to feel better
https://youtu.be/-ytqQIE14fQ

>>686845852
Just keep going anon , we are here for you. Even tho we call eachother faggots all the time. Thats what /b/ros do right?

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>>686845852
Happy birthday fam, things are gunna get better!

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I have seen all of this world that I care to see

>>686857671
I'd trust her. Keep your doubts to yourself and don't be dumb but don't act on them without proof. If she was cheating, you'll feel better for trusting her, and if she is, you proved to be a trusting partner.
After all, if she wants to cheat, worrying about it isn't going to help

>>686858082
I agree, its what guys do, we care we just want each other to be tough so we say "dont cry faggot" lulz #guycode?

>>686858299
If she isn't, and then if she is
I got distracted there, sorry

>>686856433
Whew...Sad bro.

>>686857434
It just sucks. I feel like im holding onto something that isnt there. My mind is telling me to hold on but my heart is telling me to move on. Shes still everything i want and its been 4 months today.

>>686852062
This is what I did when I got cheated on. Or stay single for a while bc trust issues

>>686859264
And did the church girl cheat?

>tfw no dubs

>>686845852
bro i kno exactly how that feels, i was like that during high school. it got better with age and circumstance, i still have those days but not nearly as bad only because i get bored

>>686859414
No I'm still with her and she's the most amazing person I've ever met. She was too nervous to even kiss me and first so I know that she would never cheat

>>686857018
Thanks mate. I have been working on myself while she has her space she needs. Just hoping we can come out of this stronger.