>inb4 "best gore"
It's a good picture.

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>>686837967
Funeral homes. Apply for helper in pick up. Be able to be on call all hours, travel up to an hour usually your own vehicle to get there, but load up in to theirs. That's it.

>>686837967
Go to a funeral home and talk to the director or one of the other workers there...you'd be surprised sometimes at how personable they are or how easy it can be to land an apprenticeship!

>>686839749
I'm only 18 though, I seriously doubt that helps

>>686839482
Do you know what kind of vehicle I should have? Also, how's the pay?

>>686837967
serial killing

>>686840397
It would get the wrong kind of attention?

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>>686840397

>>686840534
not if your good at it

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>>686840709
Kek

Just be honest we all know why you want this job

>>686840397
I need go to university for that?

>>686841005
No you don't, you could never guess

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>>686837967
I do believe they might ask for a psychological profile, anon.

>>686841852
So I'm supposed to have a clean record when it comes to being clinically depressed and such? Because I'm about to visit a psychiatrist for those problems

>>686841638
Keep your goddamn dirty dick away from the corpses you sick fuck

There was a voodoo girl in my A+P class who was gonna work at a morgue

>>686837967
i worked for a funeral home for about a year. the funeral home has a contract with the county, to pick up all dead people who havent died of natural causes and dont otherwise have plans with another funeral home.
i saw a bunch of fucked up shit while i worked with them. if you get your jollies by looking at corpses, i dont get it, but i will say you see a lot of that shit. i eventually quit because the money just wasnt worth the risks involved. i was picking up dead fuckers for this company, and doing it as a side job to my full time job.
i'll be here for just a little while. if you have any questions, i'll answer as well as i can

>>686840153
that doesnt make any sense.

>>686839482
this is what i did. my friend's wife is a mortician, and they needed help. i figured i'm weird, why not. after a hernia from dropping an old crackhead while bringing them out of their crappy trailer home, onto a wet, rotten front porch, and after having picked up a few dead kids, it just wasnt worth it any more.

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>>686842094
Honestly I'm not sure. I guess they'll look into paraphilias and such.
I don't know if they'll look for suicidal tendencies or depression.

Suck a dead guys cock and maybe he will give you a job

>>686843115
How did you get started working there? Do you need any experience? How was the pay? was it seriously that bad, my life isn't very interesting.
Any drug tests involved? Any problems concerning the law?

>>686840390
the FH i worked for paid $25 to accept a pick up job. the pay was $15/hr past that, with a minimum of 2 hours pay.

drive whatever you have. bodies arent going in your car. something small that sips fuel would be your best bet, or a bike.

>>686841852
no psyche profiling at the one i worked. it was a private company with a county contract. if i worked for the county, i'm sure they would do more checking. my main job is a county jail civilian jailer.

>>686843642
I smoke, not tobacco.
Do you suggest I just stay away from the psychiatrist?

>>686843799
see. that was me.
>>686843438
just walk in and ask if they need any help. funeral home work isnt for everyone, and everyone dies at some point in their life (usually near the end of it), so business is pretty decent.
be flexible in your hours. know that if you fuck around with a corpse, you could go to jail. if the corpse is related to a criminal action, you would go to jail for tampering with evidence, or possibly desecration of a corpse. do go in there looking for a job with a stiff dick, and cum stains on your dockers cut off shorts. dont tip your fedora. dont talk about mlp.

>>686843935
So about $30 dollars a day? How often do you work? Do a lot of people request pick ups? Do I get to work enough?

For that, wouldn't it take more experience with the law and such?

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>>686844192
Have no idea.
but it might be as like >>686843935 said.

Smoking shit is not good for your resume anyway if they find out.

also, this >>686844459
As much as i'd like it, it's not worth the risk.
They'll most likely find out if you do this on america.

>>686844459
I'm not into that weird shit at all. Just need a job that will interest me, I'll be respectful to the corpses and I dress fairly decent.

>>686844806
no dude... 25 to accept a job, minimum 2 hours pay at 15/hr. any job i did was at least $55.
sometimes you wont see a single bodysnatching job for days, but then you get hit with like 5 in a row, and it can get pretty physically demanding.

>>686845011
No one will find out about the smoking or touching of corpses (there won't be any) as long as I can take a few pictures, nothing too weird, it should be fine.

>>686845480
So I must be 25? Well that's a fucking bummer

>>686845499
i would avoid taking any pictures of corpses unless you are directed to do so. i had to send a few pics to county judges from my personal phone. dont fuck around. it's an interesting job. you can see some really crazy shit, but if you screw around, you will get burned. also, there are usually going to be at least a couple of cops there.

>>686845760
So I should cut it with the weed?

>>686845745
no. at the place i worked, you get $25 to accept each job (dead body pick up). $15/hr past that. minimum pay of 2 hours= $55 on your paycheck.
there werent any age restrictions that i know of.
if you are young, they might be a little reluctant to hire you. express interest in learning the trade though. it can be very profitable. ... not from picking up bodies though. profit comes from being an actual funeral director. it's a trade worth learning.

>>686845942
unless you live in a state where that shit's legal, i'd recommend you stop smoking it. that's up to you.
a lot of the bodies i picked up had been sitting for more than a few days and smelled like absolute shit. if you have a bit of pot smoke smell on you, it would probably be covered.

>>686846098
Thank you for for explaining, do you know if there are any age restrictions for learning such trade? Any requirements? Skills?

>>686837967
I work at a morgue in México. Necropsy technician. I got the job since High School because of social service and then they gave me the job, cause I'm really good at it.

>>686846562
i would imagine with a job like that, if you wanted to advance, you'd need to have a clean criminal record. if you start at the bottom at a funeral home, just picking up bodies, build a relationship with your higher ups or the owner. it was a very small company that i worked for. family owned (not my family) and i was frequently bs-ing with the owner. work there for a while, and show interest in furthering your carreer with them and they might pay for training. if you like it, i fully encourage you to go for it. the money can get pretty good. if you like to do what you do for work, that is a really great feeling in life.

>>686846562
Not him, but you go to school to become a funeral director. I'm starting school in January to become one.

>>686847190
Any requirements to get an apprenticeship or get a job at funerary home?

>>686848066
no. just go in when they arent busy and talk to one of the funeral directors.

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>>686837967
Am I the only one who would want to fuck this dead girl to watch my dick come out through her entrails?

>>686849383
You're not alone, OP here.
This is what I live for.

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>>686849383
did you leave your dick there for us to find or...

>>686849383
>>686849653

i'm the funeral home guy. i hope you guys live to see your dreams come true, but you get some kind of nasty ass parasite and have to watch your dick rot off while you are in prison

>>686850151
>watch your dick rot off while you are in prison

Why would I go to prison for fucking a dead girl up into her entrails? She's already dead. Idiot.

It's like fucking a steak from the grocery store.

Life is too short not to fuck dead girls.

>>686850531
>nigga is you serious

>>686851249
>nigga is you serious

Bro, I've fucked girls who were passed out drunk or drugged, and I can't explain it, but it's a real turn on to fuck someone who is not conscious.

The idea of fucking a dead person is so degenerate and fucked up, it just makes my dick really hard.

To know that I am defyling the dead carcass of someone's beloved child, sister, mother...it makes me feel powerful, like a god.

Yes, my nigger. I'm serious.

I would love to fuck someone I killed.

I would love to eat the flesh of someone I killed.

For now, it's all fantasy, but maybe one day.

Maybe after my mom dies.

Namaste, my nig.

>>686841638
Okay fine, humour me. If it's not necrophilia what is it?

>>686843935
i can't believe how shit American wages are. You guys are totally getting reamed your whole lives.

>>686852148
Isn't it just called, having a job and actually doing something? I'm not privileged enough to get a free ride to some college nor have the connections to land a good job elsewhere.

>>686852482
I meant more generally.
Good luck in your pursuit of a job you are actually interested in

>>686852148
>>686852679

it was an extra job. my main job recently saw a decent raise. with the raise, and some general job dissatisfaction for the fh job, i decided to quit.
if i could do the body job full time, making lets say $40k/yr, i'd go for it. it was a fun job. while i'm not busy, i could be working out or something. i could stand to exersize more. esp if i did that full time. since i was picking up americans, specifically texans, a lot of these fuckers were obese. one fat dude got thrown out the back window of his toyota tacoma pickup. the guy must have weighed over 400 lbs. that shit sucked.