Drink bleach and turn into a spirit animal

rape your horse

>>686729033
shoot the horse then shoot myself while fucking the horse's dead body

>>686729161
You search your person for bleach, only to remember it has not been invented yet.

You settle on drinking the juice from a nearby cactus. The delicious liquid coarses through you. You feel your tail widening and teeth growing as you assume the form of your spirit animal; the beaver.

You have a sudden urge to gnaw wood.

A small convoy of traders approaches. What do you do, hero?

>>686729530
kill all males from the convoy with my beaver teeth and claws and rape all the women, impregnating them with baby beavers and leaving them unconscious (steamy description of rapes please :^) )

>>686729694
You prepare to ambush the unsuspecting convoy by hiding behind some nearby brush. Your tail is twitching as you imagine the heroic bloodbath that is yet to come.

As the line of wagons and horses approaches, you leap out with a bloodcurdling beaver battle cry. Unfortunately the convoy noticed your horse standing right on the road and were on their guard.

Your clumsy beaver hands cannot use your revolver, so you decide to rush out and claw the males. The females will then succumb to your majestic beaver dick.

As you rush out of the scrub, the convoy leader throws himself in front of you, completely bewildered by the sight of a cowboy rushing at him on all fours.

He reaches for his pistol and takes aim. What do you do, hero,?

>>686730304
gain the upper hand as the convoy leaders ammo are duds

Raise dust with my big wide beaver tail to blind him. Then using my super beaver senses navigating though the dust, get on with my mission to slay the male competitors

>>686730634
Inherently knowing that the leader of the convoy must have dud bullets, you continue to race towards him. As the lead penetrates your soft beaver fur, you realise this was not a clever thing to assume.

Thankfully the leader is a dead shot and only wounded you by shooting your shoulder. You writhe in pain, squealing your beaver screams.

The convoy leader scratches his head, still confused by your heroic attempt to attack. You feel the beaver powers leave your body, and realise that you cannot turn into any animal and were just tripping balls on cactus juice.

You stand on your feet and stumble back to your horse, ashamed. Your horse keeps its distance, embarrassed by your ineptitude.

You decide to start trodding towards the nearest town to seek medical help.

Soon, you come across a female native. They are crouched behind a rock with a bow and arrow, tracking a buffalo and oblivious to your presence.

What do you do, "hero"?

>>686729033
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ek_YI1j8puc

>>686731327
tell the native a snake has bitten you on the penis and need her help to suck the poison out

>>686731748
You call out to the native. She seems apprehensive but can tell that you are wounded and are not a threat. She approaches you cautiously, her hands still drawing the bow.

You quickly explain that you have been bitten by a snake and she needs to remove the venom.

She looks at your bleeding useless shoulder and back at you.

You indicate that it was a snake biting snake incident, and only the native's sensual mouth could possibly remove the venom.

The native does not understand.

You perform some crude body language to better convey the message.

The native gasps.

You use your revolver to better help her understand how dire the situation is.

The native seems to understand now how this is a life or death situation and kneels down on the dusty ground.

As you pull out your impressive manhood, and start guiding it towards the native's terrified face, you hear a loud cry.

A furious and formidable native male is charging towards you from a fair distance. He seems very upset with the current situation.

What do you do, hero?

>>686732409
You stand still. Frozen by your indecisiveness, your wilting penis in your hand.

The indian warrior approaches, brandishing a devilish tomohawk in his hand.

>>686732409
Shota the girl, so she won't do anything unexpected as you take aim at the male specimen

>>686733194
shoot the male incapactiating him and forcing him to watch while you brutally rape the woman

>>686734401
You take careful aim with your revolver and fire at the charging brute. The shot causes him to tumble. You can see him writhing, but he will not be able to get up after that terrific shot.

Unfortunately, the female picked up her bow whilst you were distracted. You turn back to continue your rapetastic snake bite cure only to receive an arrow in your one functioning shoulder.

You black out from the pain. You see your horse running off into the distance as your vision fades.

You awake in an indian encampment. Your hands and feet are bound and two burly natives guard you.

What do you do, hero?

>>686735216
request to see the native girl who shot you so you can apologize to her saying it was a misunderstanding

>>686735216
Spit on the indians that are near me and claim to have a very bad illness to frighten them

>>686735342
In perhaps the first bout of intelligent action you have ever conceived, you plead the guards to let you speak to the indian girl to apologise. Your bawling and sobbing disgusts them so much they decide to grant your wish.

The indian girl approaches, a scornful look of pure malice in her chestnut eyes. She awaits your feeble apology.

What do you do now, hero?

>>686735637
apologise and say you wish to become member of the tribe

>>686732409
Blast him with piss!

>>686735216
Let the smallpox do its work.

>>686735637
Blow your nose on her shirt

>>686735637
Tell her to make me a sandwich, and continue with that snake venom issue

>>686735735
You swallow your pride and sincerely apologise to the indian. She does not seem to accept your apology, as she spits in your face and kicks your bound feet.

You attempt to explain that you would be a valuable addition to her tribe, but she does not seem interested in your proposal. How could you possibly convince her that you are indeed a hero?

>>686735637
Tell her you are a beaver, and thus, exempt from human laws.

>>686736726
Ask them for a quest. I will complete it and help the tribe to prove my worth

>>686736726
Shoot her in the pussy and massacre the whole tribe.

buy some slaves

>>686736726
beg for her to give you a chance as your knowledge of english and firearms would be a very valuable addition to the tribe

>>686736726
Do the "removing your thumb and putting it back on" trick and impress the locals with this amazing magic

>>686736726
Draw spirit animal on side of teepee (tipi?) with own feces.

>>686736776
You begin to tell the tale of how your spirit is actually that of a beaver's, and you are trapped in the body of a human.

The indian listens intently, because they totally love that spirit animal shit. She decides that you really are a kindred spirit to her tribe and are just misunderstood.

Before making it very clear that she will never cure your snake bite, she unbinds you and leads you to the chief's abode.

As you enter the teepee, you sight a bearded old man seated at a fire in the middle of the tent. He is smoking a pipe, and next to him sits the furious warrior you had shot earlier.

The warrior tenses as he sees you.
What do you do, hero?

>>686737173
Intimidate him

>>686737173
ask to duel him to defend your honor

>>686737173
Challenge him to a fight to the death.

>>686737173
greet him and ask him to cure my snake bite

Just when I gain the trust of the natives, I will shift E and right click.
My name is Mcgree.

>>686737173
Blast him with piss

>>686736290
>>686737793
>stop

>>686737863
I cannot, for wherever I am, I must also blast with piss.

>>686737793
>>686737863
>>686737934
It's sterile, y'know, to help the wound...

>>686737235
>>686737272
>>686737293
You walk up to the wounded warrior and challenge him to mortal combat, even though both your shoulders are mutilated and useless.

The warrior is lost for words at your incredulous bravery or stupidity. He then smiles and accepts your challenge.

You follow the warrior to a rocky outcrop where he tells you to choose your weapon.

What will you wield, hero?

Remember, you cannot raise your arms at all.

Fuck the town,then head north to towards the Dark Tower.

>>686737173
Share their peyote and assert your dominance as King Beaver

>>686738091
fight dirty, hit him in the balls, dodge his strikes and trip him so he falls then stomp his head in

>>686738091
Wield a stick to distract him, kick red fag in the fucking balls with the spurred heels on cowboy boots, slit his throat with them once he falls

>>686738093
This

>>686738091
Use the Shadow Jutsu that you saw on T.V. that one time

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>>686738091
Yell: "I'll bite yer legs off!"

Bumping this ish for interest

>>686738303
>>686738412
You smirk and inform the smug indian warrior that you wont need a weapon. This seems to enrage him and he charges at you, unwilling to be demasculinaed by an armless cowboy beaver.

You turn your back to the mad indian, and carefully time your kick so that your jingle jangle spurs pierce his virile scrotum.

The warrior howls as you mercilessly stomp his indian balls. With a final heroic stamp, you sever his testicles.

The indian tribe is watching from the encampment, fear in their eyes. The chief approaches you cautiously, shielding his balls.

He announces you as a member of the tribe and gives you your indian title; "Whitedevil Nutcracker". The tribe bows down to you and your mighty spurs.

Your horse trots into the town, finally recognising your worthiness. The tribe tends to your wounds and presents the legendary village peace pipe.

What will you do, hero?

>>686739155
ask to be wed to the indian girl who shot you so you can make strong babies for the tribe, and so she can cure your snake bite

Smoke that pipe and demand that fine ass native honey heal your shoulders

>>686739155
Demand all the able men to raid the nearby town, brandishing your shiny spurs.

>>686739155
Teach them how to speak english, prepare them to help you rob the nearby town's bank

>>686739276
>>686739284
You agree to take the prized pipe, but only if you can have the indian girl who brought you to the village.

The indians, not comprehending your superior bargaining skills, attempt to explain that the pipe is a present, not a request, so you do not really have any right to demand more.

You scuffle your spurs along the ground in a clearly threatening display and the indians fall silent and give you the women.

She does not seem happy with the arrangement, but cedes to save the village from a ballstomping rampage.

You decide to take the woman on your relatively faithful horse and ride north.

She resisted your requests to cure your snakebite during the travel, but does give you a wicked handjob. You now have indian burn on your dick.

Where shall we go now, hero?

>>686740154
To the mountains to score some wicked mountain witch ass

>>686740154
stop in the middle of a secluded place, rape her, kill her then rape her dead body and pretend someone attacked you and you barely got out

Let's get some cock

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>>686740309
this

mountain witch ass is a rarity but is a golden smore upon the begotten

>>686740470
>>686740309
>>686740154
>>686739918
>>686739653
>>686739284
>>686739276
>>686739155
>>686739151
>>686739146
>>686738856
>>686738575
>>686738447
Same fag

>>686740154
Go find that bastard that shot you the first time.

>>686740309
You head to the mountains in the north, explaining to your indian companion that it is the only place where you can get that sweet mountainwitch tail.

Your companion seems nervous.

You scale the dangerous mountain until you come across an old shack nestled into a cliff face. It is unreachable from the ground.

What do you do, hero?

>>686740662
Use Indian wife as a grappling hook

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OP is a legend.

>>686740662
ensure to your companion that all is well.

assume the mating call of the mountain witch.

>>686740662

Cut all of Indian woman's hair, tie individual strands together and use as a rope to scale the cliff

>>686729033
kill all the fucking indians

>>686740662
ask ythe indian woman to cure your snake bite as you can't go on with a snake bite

>>686740662
Go in.

>>686740662
Haul ass up the cliff face for that sweet, sweet witch tail.

>>686740662
Turn to page 47.

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>>686740662
shit in hand. wipe it on your own face as it is the mating call of the mountainwitch. ignore your companions disgust.

>>686729033
A barrel roll

>>686740757
You grab onto the indian woman and hurl her delicately towards the cliff face, aiming for a cluster of jagged rocks so your impromptu grappling hook will hold.

She screams, cursing your name, as she is impaled on the sharp cliff face and tumbles to a painful death.

Your horse backs away nervously.

You need to think harder, hero.

What will you do?

>>686741333
trips confirm

>>686741471
Use horse as grappling hook?

>>686741471
you use your power of the beaver inside you and climb the wall like Wolverine would in the old X-men games.

you fuckin use your teeth and use them to dig into the rock fucking wall and climb up.

FAGGOT.

BE A MAN (beaver)

>>686741471
Fuck her dead body

>>686741569
buddy horses dont fuckin climb they run

>>686741471
rape her corpse goodbye

>>686741471
Well shit...
Press the large red button that says "Ladder"

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>>686741628
metal.

>>686741333
Our hero hears a call from the heavens.

He gets a running start and slams into the cliff wall. Despite his enthusiasm, he cannot defy gravity.

Our hero does not give up easily, however, and continues to slam himself into the hard rock face.

The commotion awakens the mountain witch, who glides down from her shack.

She is clearly not happy with the commotion or ill treatment of your companion.

What will you do, hero?

>>686741719
it would be gameover to jump down to our death. how we gonna fuck her, in the afterlife?

>>686741821
"If we die in each other's arms we still get laid in the afterlife"

-Kanye West, Lost in the World

>>686741804
Throw her some holy water

>>686741804
Tell her about your snake bite

>>686741804
Bribe her to fuck me.

>>686741804
ask for tits with timestamp

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>>686741804
SAY : " boy this mountain sure is hard to topple, but it is not as hard as my cock for mountain witches! "

>>686741804
ask her to heal your snake bite

>>686742033
dubs confirm

- Kanye West

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>>686741804
See if she has any sand-witches

>>686741821
>>686741921
You begin to quote the famous poet kanye west. The witch is intrigued by your evident street knowledge and futuristic musical stylings.

She asks you why you have come to her home, and when your next album will drop, if you can ever decide on a name.

You know this alluring mountain babe is not to be trifled with.

What will you do, hero?

>>686742365
Tell her you'll name your album "deadly snek bite "

>>686742365
ask her if she will be my kim kardashian cuz her booty fatter

>>686742365
Tell her you wish her to cure your snake bite.

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>>686742343

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>>686742365
" Im lookin for a mountainwitch to inspire me " while pointing to ur dick

>>686742489
>>686742511
You answer both of her questions with one simple, poorly pronounced answer:

Snek bite

The witchs jaw drops as you begin to tell her of your harrowing snake encounter and how the only possible cure is some crazy mountainwitch head.

The witch blushes with embarrassment at your shitty pickup line, and reaches into her gown to procure a small red vial.

She lets you know that the vial contains a powerful antidote that will cure your 'snek bite', but she requires a favour before she will give it to you.

Will you accept, brave cowboy?

>>686742921
yes

>>686742921
offer to give her cunnilingus for the vial

>>686743033
Dubs of wisdom

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>>686742365

>>686742921
Tell her the only cure is her is a blowjob and that red vial wont work.

>>686742973
You accept, even though you werent actually bitten by a snake and so dont actually need the antidote.

The witch seems pleased, and begins to tell you of a ferocious mountain lion that stalks the summit of her cliff. She wants you to slay the beast.

She warns the hero, that the beast can take the form of any persons worst fear.

She flies you to the acme of the cliff, and asks you before she leaves you to the task, "so tell me hero, what is your worst fear?"

>>686743259
Not getting laid

>>686743259
Bernie Sanders

>>686743259
being fucked by the indian woman risen from the dead

>>686743259
spookies

>>686743259
Sexy naked witch sluts

>>686743259
Pegging.

>>686743259
naked defenseless indian women with broken arms and legs

>>686732409
Rape the male of course

>>686743376
The witch laughs nervously, then hastily goes back to the safety of her mountain hut.

You hear a growl and turn to face an enormous lion. Saliva drips from the beast's maw as it eyes you hungrily. You swear you see it grin as it probes your mind to see your inner fears.

As it realises that your worst fear is not getting your dick wet, it hesitates, unable to transform into such an abstract fear.

The beast sits down, stunned. Unable to act from a mixture of confusion, disgust and pity.

You laugh heartily at the bemused creature.

What will you do now, hero?

>>686743865
Fuck the lion.

>>686743865
Rape the beast.

>>686743865
decapitate the lion and give it to the witch in exchange for her ass

>>686743865
Domesticate the lion and replace your horse with him

>>686743865
I wrote that, are welcome for the upper hand faggots. Train it as your companion

>>686743926
>>686743951
That familiar twinkle in your eye appears.

It is time to conquer the beast and your fear at the same time.

You creep up behind the stunned mountain lion and prepare for entry. The creature had no idea what was coming when you crammed your cowboy cock into its virgin ass.

A tremendous roar erupts from it as you begin to find your rhythm and finally get some mountain tail. The beast leaps away, leaving you pantless and blue-balled.

It looks extremely angry with you and charges, bearing its knifelike fangs.


This may have been your final heroic act.

What do you do now, hero?

>>686743865
Rape the lion

>>686744507
Turn back into a beaver

>>686744507
Rape horse to avoid being blue balled.

>>686744507
Piss in its eye. Then re-attempt to rape it.

>>686744507
hit it in the balls and decapitate it, giving the head to the witch o she gives you head

>>686744507
Jerk off to confuse it.

>>686729033
considering what was acceptable at the time, scalp an injin beat women and get too drunk to stand while i pay to have two niggers fight to the death

>Walk into the closest saloon.
>Walk straight into the middle of the bar.
>Announce extremely loudly
>"ITS HIGH NOON"
>Pianist stares and stops playing song.
>Press left mouse button
>Leave the saloon with everyone dead.


>play of the game

>>686744507
S L A Y I T

FEED MY HUNGER SAYS THE NOBLE BEAVER

AS I GRASP YOUR ARMS AND NESTLE MY TEETH INTO YOUR THROAT MY BLOOD THIRST SHALL BE QUENCHED

YOUR HEAD SHALL BE MY CHASTICE AS I FUCK YOUR LIONESS AND GAZE UPON YOUR BROW UPON SUPPERTIME WHILE I DRINK MY COFFEE

YOU LION FAGGOT

>>686744876
>kek

>>686744569
Unwilling or perhaps incapable of learning from past mistakes, you ready your manhood for round two.

The lion advances, further maddened by your sexual stroking.

The witch glides overhead with an audible gasp. She clearly does not understand the noble ways of the wild west.

She witnesses the beast pouncing on you, and beginning to devour your heroic body, starting with your still erect penis.

You cant help but smile as you totally got ass to mouth, and so accept your legendary end.

The witch calls out,
"Brave hero, I will tell your strange tale to future generations by reading your bones, but what will your last words be? Your noble and everlasting epitaph?"

>>686745151
doesn't matter had sex

I summon the Endless Dooting Skeletons to appease the lion. Meanwhile i slip a collar around his neck and take him back to the witch for that good old witchy pussy

>>686745151
Fuck that, real op here.
>Rape the lion
>Fuck him on the floor
>Everyone walk the dinosaur

>>686745151
" Final Attack Summon: Phoenix " as you fuckin raise off your deathbed and incinerate her and the lion like in Final Fantasy 7 faggot

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>>686745151
"Now I'll get to doot forever"

>>686745233
You look up wistfully into the witches eyes and cry out your final words;

"Doesn't matter, had sex!".

The lion sheds a tear at such a beautiful death and the witch returns to her home, deciding that such a tale should never be told again.

Good night, sweet prince.


Also your horse died of starvation and neglect.

The end
?

>>686745580
Rise again as Mr Skeltal

>>686745642
>>686745580
goto bed if you want to then faggot, but i say rise as a skeleton

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>>686745580
fuck the indian woman in the afterlife
"If we die in each other's arms we still get laid in the afterlife"

-Kanye West, Lost in the World

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>>686745151
"I better skedaddle, if you sniff my drift."

Someone cap this please

>>686745580
"Respawning in 10...9...8..."

>>686745642
>>686745694
Your bones lurch and tremble. A call from beyond banishes you from the afterlife and your indian lover's arms.

Alive again, but still so dead. A skeleton cowboy has no place in these unforgiving lands.

You spot a familiar hut in a nearby cliff face, but it is overgrown with vine and dilapidated.

You have unfinished business.

What will you do, chosen undead cowboy beaver?

>>686746715
go to witch and ask her to revive you to your full form in exchange for cunnilingus

>>686745580
This was pure gold. I just got here and I saved all the caps to my phone. No chance of cropping them together, but this story was great and I'll read it again. Can anyone make this into one big image?

>>686746803
this

>>686746803
You scale down the cliff face carefully, adjusting to your slim new form.

Despite your best efforts, skeletons cant climb so good due to their lack of muscle. You plummet down the cliff, crashing through the roof of the old hut and landing on the now hagged witch.

She appears to have died.

What will you do now, hero?

You are alone, trapped in witch mountain with the corpse of a decrepped sorceress.

>>686747178
rummage her hut, trying to find something to return you to your full form,

>>686747178
FUCK THE CORPSE

>>686747300
You put aside any concepts of respect or morality and begin digging through her house for some sweet loot.

You come across a dusty red vial that seems familiar....

Sorry anon, my phone is about to die. Some other narrator take over and continue the tale of Whitedevil "bonesy" Nutcracker.

Next time; an underwater adventure.

>>686747869
charge your phone faggit

>>686747869
Try based anon. 10/10 thread hearty keks were had

>>686747869
I am take over

>>686747869
cum in the vial and drink it

>>686748238
You open the vial and then remember that all skeletons are eunuchs.
You also realize you have no stomach either.
What do

>>686748421
Pour into eye sockets.
Play xylophone on ribcage to try to summon nobal stead

>>686748607
You pour the liquid into your eye sockets, and grow a skeleton dick
By playing the xylophone you have summoned the Dwayne the rock johnson.
What do now

>>686748802
grow a nose to smell what he's cooking

>>686749022
You proceed to grow a nose using the remaining magic from your eyesockets,
You then start sneezing rapidly.
what do now?

Op here?

Whens water adventures. U wanna be there and not square

>>686749673
Op is kill so is thread

>>686749377
Play xylophone duet with rock and witch corpse

>>686750131
despite your sneezing you start to play the xylophone again and bekon the rock to do likewise
the witch suddenly comes up and throws a tissue box on top of the rock.
the witch then snatches a necklace from the rock who was defeated by the tissue box.
You then realize the witch is mellisandre. as she ressurects you while wearing the necklace.
Make your move

>>686750475
Immediately grab her tits

>>686750729
You grab her tits with your new hands.
She smiles at you and leans by your face and whispers "Another settlement needs your help"

>>686750937
"Sure, but first, let me teach you why they call me THE GENERAL"
>proceed to sex witch