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You now live in the Star Wars universe one year before the destruction
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

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You now live in the Star Wars universe one year before the destruction of the first Death Star.

What is your job now and how is it different? I work in a spaceport, inspecting cargo while listening to my co-worker talk to me about Imperial politics for the 800th time.
>>
I work on an imperial destroyer cleaning Stormtrooper armour.

Why did they choose white?
>>
>>686586049
Depends.
do i any force abilities? do i know the rest of the movies' outcome?

maybe find a Alderaan based bank and take out a bazillion in loans buy something of value and leave planet
then let vadar vaporize the planet along with my debt.

free money, not sure what else i can do safely.
maybe use money to start a trading empire with a shit ton of bounty hunters as protection.
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>>686586886
Nope, you're just you and you have no idea what's coming.

>>686586786
So your commanding officer knows if you missed any dirt on it while cleaning it.
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Probably something similar to my real life job. Large scale construction projects. Probable helped build the death star
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>>686587248
You seem cool. Don't go to work tomorrow.
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I would probably work in computer maintenance for the Rebels.
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Working in a junior position with the development team that's coding the operating system for the Death Star. Me and another guy have spent the past 8 months getting the fire-suppression system working properly, it's been a real bitch... Hoping to finish this soon so I can be back on Coruscant with my wife and kids, working on smaller projects again.
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>>686587450
kek
>>
Just chillin' here on Alderaan.
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I work on a backwater planet probably something in the mid rim in a electronics retailer selling space batteries and general bits for repair.
Going on a trip to coruscant in november though, that will be cool.
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I live on Hoth farming TaunTauns for their milk.

I like the simple life. I escaped Naboo as a child, so I have felt the wrath of war. Living on Hoth is much safer, I don't expect to ever see anymore trouble in my lifetime.
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>>686586049
I'd be the guy to tell the retard who designed the death star to have the hole leading to the core to be closed.
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I cook for the emperor
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I AM DARTH VADER
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id be a pimp working a strip joint on the deathstar with twi'leks as the strippers.
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>>686588929
I don't know how people can be this dumb. Luke literally used magic to make a missile make a 90 degree turn. Red Leader's targeting computer couldn't hit the target even with a lock. I knew that when I was 6 years old.
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I'm a hologram animator, making propoganda for the empire. They need a lot of it.
Like. "Lifetime employment for full teams of animators per planet" amounts.
Hail the empire, right guys?
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>>686589195
>magic

nice b8 btw
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>>686587018
He misses shit all the time.
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>>686586049
I'm a high end bounty hunter /slave trader specializing in kidnap to order sex slaves. Mostly can be found in bars in major spaceports.
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>>686589195
The missiles do turn/aim. They're guided or locked on or whatever. Yes, Luke did use the force to help aim it into the vent, but afaik the missiles do work that way.
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>>686588929
The retard who designed the Death Star is the emperor. RiP.
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>>686586049
I'm one of the members of the band in the Mos Eisley cantina
They make us play the same song in an infinite loop
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>>686589375
Not bait, just saying that the Force is essentially whatever Lucas needed it to be at the time.
>>686589408
>>686589451
They do but it's undeniable that Luke used the Force to enhance it when Obi-wan spoke to him. Keep in mind he turned off his targeting computer, which would make it impossible for the torpedo to 'steer' as it would have no coordinates.
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>>686589408
Underrated post
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>>686589465
Yep, for a guy that manipulated an entire war he can't design space stations for shit.
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Bartender in popular spaceport. Speak 47 weird ass languages, confused by all of them, no idea how I can comprehend all this shit. Listen to fucking Alien flies talking about this sick ass space poop they got to eat up, see some Rebel scum talking about how the Government is oppressing them! Fucking fools doesn't even know how Darth Trump's spacewall keeps us with jobs! Picking up some damn good Alderaanian pussy. Fucking fly around the galaxy drankin' my space juice. Life is fucking good my man.
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I am a big game hunting guide for Galactic hunting tours.

It's a week long tour that spans various planets hunting various beasts such as Rancor, Reeks, Acklay, Wampa etc
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>>686586049
Probably something like my current job. Working as a combat medic in the Imperial Medical Corps
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I handle Imperial InfoSec compliance. I would probably be working on the Death Star since it would be such a major government project. But since I'm a leftist wacko, I'd also probably be a spy for the Alliance
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>>686589719
>>Probably something like my current job.
That was the idea, but I guess my drunk ass didn't get it across properly.
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>>686589465
Geonosians designed the death star.
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>>686589719

I defected after my first deployment on the Death Star, that shit was horrible. They wiped out an entire planet! Thinking of what they were capable, I never looked back.
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>>686589659
yeah, those fucking fly people, they need to be thrown over that wall
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I'm just trying to find my fucking gloves
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I live on Tatooine and with the help of a partner, we run one of the biggest atmospheric moisture farms on the planet. Business has stayed relatively good for a while now.
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>>686586049
I work at a beautiful scenic getaway for the empires most rich and powerful memebers. They come her to play some pastime invented on Bar Neth. Location is Naboo.

My roll is too shoot shit with members and their guests, usually about how there are too many gungans and how the rebel threat is almost defeated. I aso clean and shine shoes.

Not the best job in the world but it certainly has its moments. Occasionally ill get a large tip as well.

Thinking about starting an interstellar goods delivery company.
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>>686589904

I'm pretty sure one these fucking flies is Greedo's second millionth cousin. If any of you see Han around, let him know Greedo's being a douche.
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I would be TR 8R and fucking beat the living shit out of traitorous jedi's and rebels all day. but i dont think they had riot gear at the time except for the royal guards. so i guess ill be a royal guard?
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>>686589889
I was stationed at Corellia. Didn't care much about the Alderaan incident. The rebels had it coming.
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>>686589904

You speak the truth brother, interested in hearing about one of our many lords and saviors Typhojem? The miracles he could perform with just his left hand...
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>>686589884
well fuck, you were right.
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>>686587450
You better go to work or I'll strangle the shit out of you like I did your mum
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>>686589465
Fun fact, at the end of the Kessel run is the place where that shit was designed.

I'd work in some huts kitchen during the day coming up with great new unique hut food recipes. At night I'd be dragging drugged bar pattrons in back for paticule excellent tasting species. My worst job wood be collecting Rancor butt worms from its offel bin...but also finding cool stuff like undigested bionics to sell.
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>>686586786
>Why did they choose white?
To show that there are no Niggers in the Imperial Army. Disney destroyed that.
I am the Commander of a Stardestoyer
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>>686590485

You're the kind of apathetic scum the galaxy needs to get rid of.... Buuuuuut I'm always down to grab a drink, swap some war stories, so if you're in the quadrant sometime, hit me up.
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>>686586786
idk why do cops wear black or blue? because its a work uniform.
>>
I would be training as a security guard on Naboo, spending my off days on the beach drinking some weird green shit that I don't know the contents of but enjoy thoroughly.
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>>686591053

But you never wear white to combat.... I think it's personally why the Rebels shit on them Imperials on Endor, you could see the dumb fucks from a mile away.
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>>686591215
The Empire snipers had it sorted though with their camo gear

I'd be working in some space hardware but I'd leave and become a freighter pilot and travel the galaxy and fuck bitches on every planet
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>>686587450
Fucking kek
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>>686586049
I work in finances for the empire
currently finishing up a policy on saving money by not wasting proton torpedoes unless 100 percent necessary
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I'd try to get a place at some science research facility. As I think all of them are run by the empire I would abide to its laws, although I dont know what I would do if I would get in touch with some rebels.
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I'm a Sandpeople.
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>>686586049
Have you ever wondered where does all the money for the droid army comes from?
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>>686591788
Dubs for the first time ever wasted on that stupid fucking post...
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>>686591826
taxes man how do they work
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>>686591987
Fckin newfag
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>>686592102
More of a lurker but whatever.
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>>686592033
It was never explained
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We'll be able to topple an empire in this reality, i-i-i-i-it'll be great, Morty! Just like the old days ba-back on Alderaan before it went to complete vaporized BUUUUURRRRPP shit, Morty. It's gunna be great Morty, you just watch.
>>
I am a clone commando bounty hunter assassin Jedi who hasn't discovered he has the Force yet but when I meet my long lost father who is a shadow warrior(Sith assassin) I reach a conflict and decide to go rogue and leave the clone empire and fight the galactic overlords using my newfound Force abilities
>>
Working on Corellia selling administration Droid systems to mid-sized private companies throughout the Galaxy. The Empire is bullshit, they haven't done much about IP theft in the Outer Rim.
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GrRRRRRrrrRRRRrhhhHHHh!

Grhhhhg Grhhhhg!
>>
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kys you bunch of fag degens
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I'm jabba's bitch
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>>686592733
no thnx fggt
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>>686586049
I'm a pimp, bringin' bitches to Jabba. Let me tell you, it ain't easy
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I would successfully breed Gungans and Wookies to create the galaxy's most insufferably annoying cross-species.

I'd sell them out of a fruit truck.
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Just lost my virginity, but since there's maybe three women in the galaxy, it was to some kind of muppet.
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>>686593019
Handjobs don't count
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>>686586049
I design cutting edge reactors.
I'm probably on the death star itself.
Fuck.
>>
Mind tricks don't work on me, only money
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>>686593143
Use the Force, Luke!
>>You feel intense fear, dropping your hydrospanner.
>>For some reason that you can't explain, you hold the guard rail next to your work station and think of your mother.
>>
>>686593283
>implying the Empire gives enough of a shit about its workers to install guard rails
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I'd make covers for exhaust ports, but since I'm lazy they're usually a year over schedule when delivered.
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I'm a hyperdrive technician. My job is to make sure that hyperdrives are always reliable and functioning.
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Interplanetary Law student. In my freetime I take creepshots of female humans and twi'leks...
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i work as a cook in a shithole cantina on tatooine. tell obi wan to stop fucking shit up.
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I WAS studying to be a doctor, but then they released those fucked medical droids, how the fuck am i supposed to compete or even pay off my student loans?

i guess i will just join the empire, i've always wanted to be a pilot and those TIE-Fighters are as fast as they come!
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>>686589049
You're a faggot.
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I raise prize winning womp rats but the neighborhood psycho kid keeps killing them. I tried to tell his aunt and uncle but this old dude in a bath robe who spies on him all the time waved his hand at me and I found myself back home.
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>>686586049
I joined the Stormtroopers and I become a Shadow Trooper. With my knowledge of what was going to happen I report to The Emperor and Darth Vader and tell them. I save the Death Star and my crucial input crushes the rebellion, in reward I become a general of our forces. So then after that my life is dedicated to eradicating any resistance to the empire.
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>>686594815
I know its dicey as fuck, but maybe the hutts can do something about it? i mean they already take all of our water, whats a little more?
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>>686591611
Underated post is underated
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>>686592970
Kek
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I'm a bounty hunter but i really suck at it. A bantha bit off my left hand while i was on a stake out to kill a farmer. Also that farmer ended up shooting me in the ass.
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>>686586049
I'm a Holonet engineer hired by Hutts. The pay is good.
>>
I'm working as a technician at a water refinement plant on an imperial planet.

I make enough to survive and daily bother my workmates like 800 times with imperial politics.
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I suck alien dick now?
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I'm a lazy nigger living off galactic welfare and stealing from the working class to not feed my jungle bunny fambly
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>>686588302
>>686586049
>>686588926
>>686589344

samefag harder
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I've been a male prostitute since shortly before the empire was established. I used to sell loose deathsticks in bars to support my family, but one day for no apparent reason I gave it up and had no other skills. I still have no idea how my life got this bad.
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I work for Jabba
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>>686597163
Kek
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>>686597465
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I'm a clone trooper who has found work as head of security aboard a Czerka freighter.
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>>686586049
I'm an Imperial Navy Commando, who has been involved in numerous secret raids on the rebel alliance and has over 300 confirmed disintegrations.
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>>686586049
I'm a trader, shipping cargo from one planet to another. I could care less about politics but am mildly annoyed due to the amount of construction materiel i have to ship daily - the ferrocrete gets in my eyes and throat and it's a huge hassle
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I'm a fat, loser virgin who sits on my holocomputer all day, in my parents basement on coruscant, eating Imperial Hot Pockets and trolling starfags on /SWb/.
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>>686586049
Delivering news papers and imperial propaganda, until I finally finish my study and program battle droids and space ships.
>>
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>>686588929
Great job blocking the exhaust port
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i restock shit at a shitty iga. so i restock cargo or stuff at the cantina?
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Commercial freighter pilot for sure.

Possible smuggling work later on down the road.
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>>686588929
>because some pesky rebel can perfectly aim a bunch of missiles into a small thermal exhaust port that's only 2 meters wide.
What do you think these rebels are, space wizards?
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In a galaxy far, far away laughing at you losers
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>>686586049

I work as an exhaust pipe engineer for the death star.

Or I work as a guy who basically pushes a huge metal wall against another metal wall to crush waste inbetween. It's fucking exhausting and I am not good at it.
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>>686598757
You could restock Mr Coffee vending machines.
He always drinks coffee when he watches radar.
Everybody knows that.
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>>686599468
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I work at a shady bar in Corosant with a bunch of retards co-workers from the outer rim. I don't make much credits, so i give handjobs as a sidejob, mistly on rich bounty-hunters
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>>686590192
this is oddly specific
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