>>686479809
Killed myself.

>>686479809
cheated

Did a Dutch oven on my girlfriend.

>>686480393
Kek

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>>686479809
Ate child pizza

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>>686480011
>>686480277
>>686480499
This is now a get thread.

Check em.

Fucked a watermelon

Bumparu

Broke into a girls apartment. Stole her purse and blew my load inside it. Then put it back.

>>686481149
Kek

Sharpie in the pooper

>>686480277
this tbh fam

>>686480277
Story?

>>686480277
Greentext plox

>>686480277
Tell us the story fag

>>686479809
I fingered my best fucking friend in public.
I'll greentext if you want.

>>686482272
Greentext please

>>686482272
Story

>>686479809
Dressed like a girl and got fucked in the ass.

>>686479809
Followed the links...

>>686482534
Greentext please

>>686479809
your mom

stole every pair of panties from my best friend of 10 years along with her vibrator

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>be me
>live with my parents cause ima neet >be horny
>see bannana
>shove it in pooper
> feelsgoodman
> climax
>scream "fruity feels good in mah tooty"
> mfw mom opens my door after hearing my screams of ectasy

>>686483206
What the fuck

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>>686482272
Put your dicks away, this ain't gonna be hot.

> Be me
> Highschool senior
> Spend every Thrusday with my best friend
> Let's call her Ramona
> Ramona and I go to this shitty fucking pizza place after school
> Normally we walk around, shoot the shit, have a good time.
> Ramona is fucking brilliant, honest to god, she's still the smartest person I've ever met
> Found out a few years ago her IQ was 140
> Back to story
> We're spending time together, and I'm a horny as fuck senior
> We normally cuddle behind this one building that no one ever goes into
> We both like cuddles, but she's uncomfortable with PDA
> Whatevs.jpg
> One day while we're cuddling, I decide to be a little shit and grab her tits
> She knows I'm a fucking asshole, she doesn't give a fuck
> ADHD as hell
> Start playing the tits like bongos
> She's laughing and shit
> I start moving one of my hands down
> I'm just on autopilot, man
Cont?

>>686483380
Moar

>>686483380
More

fingered animal pussy

>>686483796
What animal?

> it's 20 years ago
> I take my hot new blonde gf ( who has 38dd's with me to pick up a quarter pound of pot in this small town that has their own bs police department.
> we are in a vw van I had been restoring.
> I come back to the ban from picking up my stuff and she says she's horny.
> I pull into a random parking lot and take her in the back to fuck her.
> she's naked on the back seat and I'm banging her as hard as I can
> a flashlight shines in the van. Voice tells me to open up.
> I slide open the door and the cop shines his light inside at my gf. Tells me to move to the side.
> I'm shitting cause of all the weed.
> gf tells the cop she's always wanted to be fucked by a cop
> cop puts me in cuffs and in the back of his car
> disappears into my van for 20 min.
> comes back out. Let's me go. Tells me he never wants to see me again
> go back to the van. Gf is naked in the back. I drive off while she tells me about how he fucked her

>>686483380
> I move my hand down to her thigh
> Start moving up the inner part
> Her face starts contorting into this little "I'm trying not to show how horny I am" expression
> I think it's funny to watch
> Move hand all the way up
> Pussythroughleggings.png
> Start rubbing
> Holy fuck her face is hilarious
> I just keep on trucking man
> Move hand up, down past the leggins
> Handfulapanties.rar
> Call me morbidly obese, cause I'm lovin' it
> Push panties out of the way
> Christopher Columbusing that clit, man
> She gasps a little
> I don't know why this is still funny to me
> That black hole radiation is visible on its effects to my hand man
> Call me Steven Hawking with the Dewey Decimal system, cause I fucking index that hole
Cont?

>>686483975
dogs and horses

>>686484566
CONT

>>686483975
Pet Cockatiel

>>686484162
Cuck

>>686484927
Ew

>>686484566
Cont

>>686484566
Yo, I g2g, but if this thread is started at the same time tommorow I'll post the rest.
Peace out anons.

>>686484566
Moar

>>686484927
key you fingered your cockatiel?

>>686484576
But why?

>>686485368
cause I'm into that shit. dog pussy is hot

>>686485451
Whatevr

>>686485451
Any stories?

>>686485149
Also, for the record, if ya'll wanna beg for more dumb shit I did while horny, (protip, there's lots), call me Deweyanon or some shit. IDGAF reference the story.

>>686485628
i know its taboo. I've only done it when i was super horny or the opportunity presented itself.

>>686485785
no stories really. there have been times where i was hiking and some random dog would be way the fuck out in the woods randomly. and so i would finger it if it let me

>>686485798
This thread will be posted again around 2:30

>>686479809
Ur mum

Upskirted lots of girls in target and Walmart.

>>686486063
Okay

Prayed to shrek the ogrelord

>>686486736
thats hardcore