>>686274470
Become internet famous as the guy that got off of the computer to find the Forrest Fenn treasure.

Ue my steam greenlight to finally distribute my game

sit back and make stupid cash while pumping out twice-a-month dlc packs for 5 bucks a pop

do nothing, enjoy 30 days. will not neg with terrorists

>>686274835
Yeah, i would just get ready, then show m whose got what

empty out my 401k. would still have almost 40k to spare.

>>686274470
Sell lemon squares by the pier for $50,000 each

>best plan

OP- let me say in this situation you have 5k no job no family all by yourself. I'm basically asking for a nearly impossible task.

I would withdraw all the money in my bank account about 20,000 and walk around in the Rockies for a few years.
Hope they forget about me.

>>686275278
You only have to sell two. Can't be that hard!

>>686274470
Probably order cheap drugs on darknet markets and sell them at a huge markup. Luckily I have a few connects from my days in the rave scene that would be able to get me in contact with the right people, without that there's no way I'd be able to make that much in time selling drugs. Meaning after that probably having to rob houses on the daily and hope there was enough jewelry. Not getting caught with either of those would be a bitch though, simply not enough time to take proper operational security

>>686275278
You take PayPal?
I'm going to have to demand free shipping at that price tho

>>686275319
gamble
gamble
gamble

livestream gambling your $5K at betonline.com playing black jack and we'll tell you what moves to do via roll thread

>get

>>686275319
I have a very high adderall prescription, I would never sell it but I guess in this life or death situation I would be forced to.

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>>686275544
>double doubles

>>686274470
I would sell LSD to a lot of kids for 600 a sheet
I would almost surely get caught if I was able to actually move enough to get that kind of money but maybe I'll be safe in prison?
That's the only way I have to make quick money

>>686274470
become a heisenberg or at least a jesse pinkman

Sue the first person that calls me "dude" or "man" on grounds that I'm genderfluid and felt like a woman at the time and it was a derogatory slur.

>>686274470

find my most local cartel connect and beg for a job trafficking large weight over borders for high cash payout so i dont actually die

>>686275319
>5k
fucking richer than I.
sounds like an upgrade.

>>686274470

You're done for, OP.

>>686275742
Or sell the sheet for $15 a hit, making 1500 instead. Also grow your own shrooms and sell for $20 a g (people in small isolated towns will pay this obnoxious price because it's all they can get)

Go to a live trump rally and somehow get Trump to "hit" you with everybody as your witness (take one for the team) and fall and hit your head on the asphalt/concrete. You can now sue the guy x dollars

>>686274470
Write malware / cryptolocker

Spend 30 days learning, 60 days sending it to every sucker/business that will fall for it..

Install tor, use vpn for more stealth , buy CC og PP, get guide on how to cash out, do, repeat if needed

>learn how to cook >95% purity meth
>profit

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> go to the bank and withdraw the money.

real fucking hard

>>686275651
I used to be prescribed 60 mg a day.
I would get 90 20mg Irs a month and would sell nearly all of them for weed money at 5 bucks a peice.
I would make about 500 dollars at a time.
There's no way you would be able to get anywhere close to $100,000
Do you actually need the adderall? I did, but I fucking hate stimulants because I've been taking them since I was 6, so I sold them for weed.
Now I'm on 20 mg desoxyn and muh ADHD still isn't fixed, wake up in the morning and it's hard to live but it will be all right until shit starts to give.
You in the same boat as me?

>>686274470
Its not going to fucking happen

>>686276176
best solution

flip coke

>>686275929
I could sell it for 20 a hit easy where I live right now.
Selling that much acid by the hit is really risky. That's multiplies the possible number of snitches by 100

>>686276266
Of course I need it.
I get 6x10mg a day of adderall, 4x5mg of dexedrine. They go for about $10/pill.

I also have Percocet for my back pain realistically I think I could make it to 100k

>>686274470
Rob banks. 90 seconds, in, out, no violence, no vault. Quit the moment I hit the value, or be arrested and explain my situation.

I'll be dead before trial anyway.

Go to the bank and withdraw it from my savings.

Mug an elderly couple from some lofty palace and then threaten to rape their poodle in exchange for $100K.

>>686276468
That's why you sell at concerts/raves. Still risky, but at least nobody knows who you are or where you live. But if you want to minimize risk then sell on dark net markets. Only problem with that is getting the bitcoin converted back to cash (assuming the person won't accept bitcoin as an adequate currency)

>>686275101
Youre not the best at maths are you?

>>686274470
browse /b/ for 89 days
withdraw 100k from my bank account

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>>686274470
Buy an old forklift, paint it, tune it up, and replace a few seals.
>sell for 8k

Buy a bobcat
>do the same
>sell for 15

Buy a jeep for 10k
>put 5k in parts on it
>sell for 18k

Buy tractor
>paint it up
>tune it up
>cut 50 acres of grass
>sell hay to farmers for 5k
>sell tractor for 25k

Buy cnc machine
>fix, paint
>contract out 30 hours of use for 10k
>sell for 40k

Put 50k on black.

Contract a blackjack player
>walk away with 10k
>pay back 10k
>invest 20k into stocks
>become day trader
>make 120k
>next year make 150k
>next year make 200k
>next make 250k

>>686277210
>401k
>thinks he's talking about 401,000

Thanks for the laugh anon

get as many credit cards as possible from different banks, go to atm, withdraw 25k, go to casino, blackjack that shit hoping for 2 wins in a roll - there you go, 100k

>>686274470

>Buy oz of coke 88 - 90%
>£1400
>Rock that shit up, Ammonia and ether
>Fuck that nigh bi carb shit
>sell .1g for £30
>280 deals
>£7,00 profit per week

I's a gonsta die

>>686277529
ok, so.... (90/7)*700 = £9000 total in 90 days. You dead nigga

>>686278111

There are 12.8 weeks in 90 days
7k per week

12*7,000 = 84,000

Then I'd borrow the rest.

Get a loan from a sketch pawn shop for 150k
Spend 50k on weapons and explosives etc.
Nuke the fuck outta the place you got the loan
Keep the 100k to pay the debt

>>686276468
Fucking A - only sell sheets to trusted associates, let them deal with the street level bullshit.

>>686278538

>Sketchy pawn shop
>Giving out credit for 150k

Pick one

>>686274470
sucking 100,000 cocks for $1 each

i assume by the 10,000th cock id be really good at it and could probably blow through the reamining 90k cocks.

it took 47 replies to get the right answer. shape up anonymous you cock suckers.

>>686277210
holy christ youre an uncultured swine top fucking lulz

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>>686274470
I sit outside of ICA and say "hej hej".

>>686279258
that's over 1,100 cocks a day, anon.

>>686279417
are you challenging my will to live?

my resolve will pierce the heavens.

I'd cash In my short position on Target stock but I think we'll get a few more points out of it and I want a bigger profit.

Withdraw from my savings and cash out some of my retirement. Next.

>>686279417
should be fine as long as he spits

>>686279487
thats the spirit. fight the power! suck them dicks!

>>686279500
i like this answer its well crafted and hilarious.

woops wrong thread, must have tripped over this faggots ego

Crowd fund myself and prousititute myself

>>686277210

Look out /b/ middle schools got let out early today

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Ask my dad for money cuz he's rich.

>>686279761
he is obviously australian but nonetheless a faggot of the highest grade

>>686279810
your dad just asked you to suck his dick for the money. now what desu?

>>686279751
sorry you are a poorfag, maybe try not being a poorfag anymore?

>>686274470
well you could have sex with 1000 chicks for $100 bucks a piece, or 10000 fat chicks for $10 bucks a piece. Either way, ur dick may hurt afterwards

>>686275929
>90 days
>start growing shrooms
and what make 300$ of it after a month? waste of time

>Join ISIS
>muslimfags protects you
>Earn your own fuck-sheep
>???
>Profit

>>686274470
sounds like its time to fake your death anon

>>686275793
Try, then get knocked down to a Badger

>>686279909
I'd suck his dick every Friday for 100k.


100k for a blow job. I'd suck dicks all the time for that kind of money.

>>686280104
suck muhammad's dick anon, you up for that? he probably didn't shower either.

>>686279936
what constitutes poor? i mean i have the internet as far as you know anyway. regardless, what we do know is you got a helluva an ego. chump.

>>686280151
youre sucking a dick to save your life not for the money you unholy faggot. please keep it christian.

>>686274470

I suppose I would find a hookup to start dealing meth.

Either way I win, because even if I get caught and arrested, "they" won't be able to kill me while I'm in jail. "They" might even respect the fact that I was trying really hard to earn the money I owed them.

I mean you could walk into a bank, demand money, assuming you get about 5k per trip you should get it within a few months. Don't wait for the vault just what's in the drawers. In and out in 60 seconds.
Park a few blocks away and pre-screen an escape route that you can get to unnoticed within a minute to get to a highway.

>>686280411
Oh you dumbass.

>>686280151
no amount of money will buy back yor mothers love its best to stop after one dick unless youre a born faggot like >>686279936

>>686280411
hahaha winning you beat the system you sly devil.


get out.

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>>686280391
>christian
>implying

>>686274470
Attempt to flip a large amount of cocaine, likely get shot and die anyway.

>>686279417
>>686279258

i imagine it would be like an episode of 24, except 90 days timer ticking down and a lone man furiously sucking cocks to save his own lif-brb

>>686274470
Go to the bank I make more then that in a year, drive an old focus and live in a studio apartment with my girlfriend I don't really spend much money. We travel and drink a lot spend money on computers and gaming that's it

>>686275461
The first nigger ever i see typing properly

>>686280723
implying what? im sorry what?

>>686275962
You can buy a custom cryptolocker for around 3k they even give you support setting it up

>>686280723
a few things. I dont believe he was implying. your'e using them wrong, something something newfag etc..

>>686277210
waw led good stuff

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>>686280391
>youre sucking a dick to save your life not for the money you unholy faggot. please keep it christian.

>2016
>Not keeping it Islamic
>kek

>>686280959
can i stroke it?

>>686281199
Sure

>>686281180
this is a christian thread
>2016
>arguing
cant we just live in harmony and peace my islamic brother?

>>686281293
oh my it is a big one. how do you walk straight?

>>686280995
>implying what? im sorry what?

It's a given, and everyone seems to know what you're implying, but you

>>686274470
Doesn't specify what currency.

I'll go on ebay and buy some expired Lira.

breaking bad

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>>686274470
getting 100k together isn't that hard...

>think of trendy bullshit idea banks will bite at
>micro-brewery
>write up business plan
>get loan
>bank will probably loan out 250k as long as you're not a poorfag
>buy equipment with loan
>buy some weed, why not
>sell equipment for cash
>go bankrupt
>realize this is actually hard for /b/ to accomplish
>realize you are too old for /b/

EZPZ as long as your credit score isn't already rekt.

>>686281653
are you fucking stupid?

never mind no need to answer.

>>bank will probably loan out 250k

>>686277210
somebody pls screencap this it's YLYL.

>>686281855
are you going to address my plan or just blather? I'm surprised you didn't call me a cuck, with that level of discourse.