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Bumping with sad cat

Out of snus having an mental breakdown.

Lurking. Changed meds again last week and I'm thoroughly rattled at the moment.

>>686179688
Why do you take meds?

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Might have to wear braces for the next 3 years. I'm 20 years old! Needless to say, I won't have a proper life for another 3 years.

>>686179811
Major depressive disorder. I went raw for a couple of months and almost died, of my own volition. I've been medicated since '07 but I can't find the drug or the psychotherapy that works.

>>686179969
Harsh dude. But it ain't so bad.

>>686180183

It could be worst. However, I have quite a low self-esteem and I take antidepressants. The last thing I needed was to now look like an absolute idiot for 3 years. I just want to be normal. Tired of waiting.

Feel song & video.

https://youtu.be/oUFJJNQGwhk

>>686180633
Well, you're gonna look a great deal better than now afterwards

>>686180772

I know. I hope things will get better and I'll be able to solve my problems and find someone who likes me.

bumping for the peeps with the feels

My sadness is disappearing and it's quite frightening to me. Since I was 12 I've been constantly depressed with just a handful of 2-4 week long periods of unmatched happiness. This new sense of happiness feels much different, more stable, but I still worry that it's going to disappear as fast as it has before. Each bit of happiness I gain i also gain just a little more apprehension too. It sounds weird to complain about happiness, but it feels like I'm holding a prize jewel and I could drop it at any second. It's bloody scary.

>>686182080
One day at a time man, one day at a time.

Daredevil: Penny and Dime - Cemetery Scene

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDYiDrnQQlk

>>686182269
Fancy that, I watched this episode yesterday.

Penny Dreadful- Caliban Speech

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPiu4QmJyWs

And a futile thing, too. Futile. All futile. What dreams I had of my mate. Of another being looking into these eyes, upon this face, and recoiling not. But how could it happen? For the monster is not in my face but in my soul. I once thought that if I was like other men, I would be happy and loved. The malignance has grown, you see. From the outside in. And this... shattered visage merely reflects the abomination that is my heart. Oh, my creator, why--why did you not make me of steel and stone? Why did you allow me to feel? I would rather be the corpse I was than the man I am

>be me
>6 years old
>my original father left me
>fucking hated that asshole
>my mother went through a tough time
>1 year later
>brings back someone i could live with
>His name, lets say its Gordon
>i greeted him with a firm handshake
>"Hi, my name is Anon"
>"Hello anon, I'm gordon"
>generalgreeting.webm
>as time went on we got real close together
>We got a cool house
>We got so many cool things
>gordon was the best step father anyone could have wished for
>few years later
>find out Gordon has Cancer
>me only being nine years old i didnt know what to do, or even what the fuck cancer was
>Fast forward
>Gordon ended up in a hospital
>i thought he was getting surgery to get the tumor out
>i made a card hoping for his return
>two days later
>"Wake up anon, gordons dying"
>i couldnt fucking belive it
>we went to the hospital, i stood next to him, looking at him resting peacefully on the hospital bed
>i took his hand
>"Gordon, i promise to you, i will succeed in life, just like you wanted me to, i'm going to miss you, the way you raised me, the way you helped me during rough times, the way you always brought a smile to my face..."
>I couldnt think of anything else to say, i left the hospital
>2:20 pm
>my aunt got a call
>gordon died
>When she told me, all i could fucking say was "Oh"

I still remember that day like it was Yesterday

I still cant get over that all i could say was "Oh"

Addicted to /b/. How do I stop? Every piece of free time I have gets spent reading thread after thread, I should be sleeping right now. I'm not though.

>>686179969
You would look way better if you shaved, got rid of your acne and if you changed glasses/wore contact lenses

>>686183805

That's not me. Just got that image from Google :P

>>686183569
Same bru, same

>>686183569
Find something else to do. I started reading books and working out.
Install a bar somewhere in the house our outside.

I'm stuck. I'm working full time minimum wage and part time somewhere else. Lost my car from bad tranny, gonna be more cost effective to buy another car. Saving up is taking way too long. I guess I'm just impatient. But I've been walking 3 miles everyday to work and back for 2 months and I really hate it now.

>>686184082
At least its healthy...

>>686182993
Perfectly normal reaction /b/ro. You loved the guy, that's all that matters really. You didn't know how to react, nobody should think less of you for not bursting into tears, yourself included. Best thing you can do is honour his memory by fulfilling your promise. Use it as your driving force, that reason to get out of bed in the morning. Peace /b/rother

>>686184082
Get a bicycle man

>>686184635
Scoliosis. Hurts a little too much.

>>686184082
Bike it. Hang in there and keep saving

>>686183569
I'm not seeing a problem here.

>>686184965
True it's not really, worse things I could be doing.

Ex found a new boyfriend who apparently is an asshole..
kek

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I'm tired...Everything sucks. I know it's a cliche but why go on? I know it's all self-pity and self-importance and I probably owe this to myself but for the last 8 years the only reason I haven't killed myself yet is the hope that someday things are going to be better...And I'm tired of waiting, and hoping, and all this fucking optimism. Because God please dude throw me a bone here. If this is it just kill me now. Get it over with you cruel bastard. Come at me damnit. I keep trying to make something of myself and nothing actually seems to take root and I don't know what I'm doing wrong here. I worked so hard regardless of my depression, regardless of the fact that I just wanted to curl up and go to sleep and never wake up again. But none of what I do seems to satisfy. No matter how much I achieve I never feel succesful. I never feel deserving of anything good. No matter what I do...I never feel anything...

Gonna try and sleep now. Tomorrow is another day of nothing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gv3YF4XM6wE

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Had shitty sex last night. I think I'm falling in love with one of my best friends. I'm hungover. I've slept all day so I'm going to be up all night.

There's a few other circumstantial things going on at the moment that I just need to ride out (flatmate is a self destructing mess) but I'm just a bit rough.

I know I'm lucky - things are usually better in the morning for me but I'm not sleeping any time soon.

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>>686178403
I'm 20. Live at home. Have part time job. Company trying to save money everywhere they can. Work like two days a month. Live in a rather small city/town. No friends here. No real places to meet people. Too poor to move. Don't know what to study, if anything. Browse 4chan. Why is life?

>>686187439
Could you not get another job bro?

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>>686183569
Well I get you, Newfag here, been lurking for quite a while before posting, but /b/ is the one place where I can be depressed as hell, evil, a complete scumbag, and no one even bats an eye. So /b/ is the perfect place to be. Enjoy your complimentary feels too.

>>686187439
Illinois?

>>686187581
I would and I try, but there are simply too many people without jobs these days. Any job offer often have a few hundred applicants.>>686187931

>>686187931
Sorry, meant to reply to the guy above.
I'm in Norway

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>>686178403
Im depressed again so I decide to go to the doctor but yesterday I had an appointment I completely forgot about, which is the second time 4 weeks. Well I didnt completely forget its just that I couldnt sleep and overslept my appointment. but it happends too often.

I got rejected by a slutty girl that wasnt even hot and Im starting to think that even she was too high standard for me.
Its sort of a vicious cycle, I get rejected, lose confidence, causing me to become more despreate, and more likely to be rejected a next time. It seems like 8 years ago I was doing much better as far as dating goes, and Ive only gone downhill.

My mom keeps inviting me over and acting offended when I dont visit at least once a fucking week and calls me seemingly at random times because shes worried about me and its becomming so annoying I rather dont visit or pick up the phone causing her to only worry more.
This is going to sound super cringey but I somewhat hate her for the fact of bringing me into this shithole of a world.
I know that when she wanted kids all her friends had children, and blabla womanly biological duties but shes to fucking dumb to think things through. plus she lied alot to me in my childhood and we never got along so I partly blame her for the trust issues I face today.

Id kill myself but then likely others in my unstable family would follow only causing more disease and sadness to my already sad and depressing family.

and as much as I hate this cancerous world we live in I do love my brothers and sisters

Post songs that make you feel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyrZ6RxceEE

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>Have group of friends
>Hangout every weekend
>Been this way for over a year
>Everyone always has a good time
>Call my friend to see what's up this weekend
>"Oh...we're doing a couples only thing this time..."
>Everyone in the group is still going
>MFW I don't have a girlfriend anymore so I'm not invited

>>686188238
>This is going to sound super cringey but I somewhat hate her for the fact of bringing me into this shithole of a world.
At least I'm not the only one who feels like this

>>686187705
>The ones that see a mangled body draped over a dead baby that's being raped at the same time, and still take a bite of their sandwich.
>nah tho thats the real 4chan

>>686188414
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RL7lEe36MYs
Always gives me the feels

>>686181068
Just have someone punch your teeth out. Problem solved for both your braces and your crying.

>>686188680
Ah it can be like that sometimes, but we do feel at least...

>>686188165
Oh yeah. Stay in Norway. Better than Illinois. Do you have temp agencies in norway? They've found me higher paying jobs with benefits and all.

>>686187705

>I would be honoured to fall asleep while holding your hand.

Arghgh right in the feels...

this fukin' site's my life atm

>>686182080
Sounds like someone needs to get raped again.

>>686182080
that kinda reminds me of when things are going well for a week and I think to myself, well it can only go downhill now.
I know its very negative thinking that completely ruins the good times, its toxic really

>>686188936
It is mine as well, currently dealing with too much in my life and I want to an hero, but I never will so I come on /b/ and cry my eyes out sometimes. Also Anon get better

>>686188165
Kor i Norge?

>>686188512
Your > is the wrong way round,at least embrace the autism

>>686178927
Fy fan.

>>686188238
I wish you're relationship would improve with your mother. You're worrying about unimportant things. Your mother wants you around. I bet you have no idea she probably cries about you often. I ignored my mom 2 years ago and she died. And ill always regret this until I die. Man up. Learn how to focus on something.

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>>686189374
Take a box of feels

>>686189322
o store Stord

>>686178403
I hate you. that is all

>>686188859
yes and no? idk im just kinda woried about u lot yall just do that shit (same) and then go and switch to this type of thread in like three seconds
>still my favorite line from that picture rn tho

When I was homeless I tried writing poems. I was in a dark and cold and alone place. And when I read them now I cringe hard at myself, but I'm surprised how I let my pessimism overwhelm me. But damn it was still cringey as hell.

>>686189588
I think she just has to let go. I dont live that close to her and I got things to do on my own. I dont have time nor interest to visit every fucking week and talk about trivial things. I know her life isnt easy either, but neither is mine

>>686188238
moar pics?

>>686190059
>reads old writing/looks at old drawing
>cringe.exe has started running

>>686190131
boi this is a feels thread

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>>686190131
these are all I got, was actually looking for sauce

>>686189909
It's a good line

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Well, I feel better and worse continually everyday, anon. Life is scary, I fear that if there is some divine power watching over me, I've already fucked my chances at something great. I've never hurt anyone, I went full /b/ a couple of years ago and basically fapped to everything, it changed my perspective on life, I isolated myself, had next to no sex life. I really let go of myself, and I hate the person I once was, holding on and regretting shit that never once impacted me. I've thought about suicide, and I won't go through with it. My life is pretty much perfect now, I have a good job, friends, few girls I could establish something with, but all I go back to is how disgusting and broken minded I was a couple of years back. I've always had my family, but it doesn't save me from the anxiousness, paranoia and depression. My brain chemistry is truly fucked. I've had one event in my childhood that still gets on my nerves, and I was bullied during secondary (high)school. It's all over now though, I'm an adult. I tell myself I should stop being a pussy, but hell, it's so much easier said than done.

I kind of regret coming to /b/, but I keep coming back because of you all, you guys in this thread. We're all here for a reason, all have skeletons in our closet. I just want you all to know that even people who have things right can be suffering, no one is normal, just smile /b/, you're bound to change someone's life, but until then? We'll just keep making feels threads.

>>686189248

someday life will be over for both of us, lets act surprised when its time, ok?

feel hugged, i kinda understand you 100%

>>686190360
i mean u said some relatable shit but only one thing is on my mind.
>source me that artist anon

>>686182993
you told him to you would succeed and you are now grown up and posting sad stories in /b/. you son are a failure

>>686190387
Thank you Anon, you people actually get me so that's why I chill on /b/ so often...

>>686190324
amen to that

>>686178403
I've just taken a full on blow to the feels.
>Girl just ended it with me literally about 45mins ago.
>Been to the nearest off license grabbed my self beers.

Now I'm here just taking this punch to the feels.

>>686190738
'Fraid I don't have it, I just picked it up from another thread a while back. What's plaguing your mind, anon?

Maybe we should start a YLYL to get some laughs in? Or maybe a cringe thread?

>>686180070
Why don't you try electro therapy?

>>686190059
Post

>>686190360
>We're all here for a reason, all have skeletons in our closet
I have more than normal but we all know how it feels to be walking around with them...

>>686190976
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GECrRI-8c2E
Listening to this right now, If anyone else is feeling down I find it helps relax me.

>>686191318
Tell me what's plaguing you, anon. What are these skeletons? Here is a safe place.

I have been depressed for such a long time that I can't remember when it started. Been going to therapy for like a year and I started medication two months ago. I have become a little calmer, but I sit on my PC every day, doing nothing. Most days I can't muster up the energy to start up a video game. Everything seems pointless, and it's hard to find motivation when nothing satisfies.

It's ridiculous really. I have a muscular frame and a good head on my shoulders, but I still despise myself. Deep down, I don't think that I deserve happiness. I am deeply jealous of most other people, but at the same time I feel that they're vain and stupid. I'm so lonely.

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I am so alone..

>>686182080
i hate this kind of writing but you are right, self pity will never leave my life

>>686191003
not too much fam. im actually doing well right now but like i go on these threads anyways so i know what you mean

>>686191450
Not allowed in my country which sucks, too lazy to open my VPN

>>686191585
Why do you hate it Anon?

It may sound stupid, but I feel way better when feels thread are filled with people like you and me.
Maybe we "feel" less because what we are reading looks like our own story.
Of course I miss good ol bawws, but it's better that way than having cringy 18yo crying about how "she" rejected their gay ass

>>686191707
Ask - Fat Jon, Nujabes
Hope you can find it man

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>>686190059
Post one we will juge

>>686178927
Känner med dig

I have no friends and don't know how to make any. I have no hobbies that anyone would be interested in.

All I do is watch Yogscast videos and read wuxia/xianxia.

>>686191758
too sincere

>>686191450
yo here's the soundcloud for it if that works better for some people
https://soundcloud.com/kiyanforoughi/ask-nujabes-fat-jon-samurai

>>686192190
Thanks man appreciate it

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>>686191519
So am I. Just talking to someone would brighten up my day just a little bit but that's been too much to ask for.

>>686178403
anon, I just don't know anymore. do I go for the Latte Macchiato or the Frappucino mocca?

no but seriously, those are the only worries I have atm. Life is good now.

>>686192500
Noice dubs.
Well fuck maybe we can talk?

>>686192500
How do you even talk to someone, what would you talk about

>>686191838
Judge away. Only because of this places anonymity is why I'm sharing my petty melodramas (in the form of faggy emo homeless poetry).


The spirit of winter is evident
Because in my being is cold and barren
Within my stomach is emptiness
And my being is darkened
In this epiphany do I realise

That though the exterior is not the frigidness of winter,
His carcass; his shell still cover the frail,
The weak; those unfulfilled with the necessities
For mental preparedness for what lies ahead
In future times

His laugh still echoes, concealed by the warmness of summer
But his trail in repetitious cycle to return
To haunt me, to threaten me, to rob me of humanity
Of life as knowing, of turmoils afoot

He still scares me
For the rest of my life
I will always fear him

And my wrists ache
And my hand still flexes
For the antifreeze within my grasp
My weakened estate, far beyond normality a new color forms

And invention of thoughts
As letters create words and words form sentences
That phrase into paragraphs and pages form
The nothingness of my existence and is expressed in paper
My life formed into a substance
And in my absence the world can sleep

In a bit of a dilemma here, might sound a bit pathetic.

Recently bumped into a girl I got close to a few years ago, get along with her very well and she's hot. She told me to call her (which I haven't done yet).

Thing is, and I don't know if it's 4chan that's done this to me or not, I looked and seen that her last boyfriend was a year and a half ago, but that just bothers me. Most people it wouldn't but it just does. Guess I'm just comparing myself to him but I'm torn man, haven't had a girlfriend before and soon the opportunity will pass, if it even is an opportunity.

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Just found out my ex is monitoring my social media behavior like a creep. It's a bit long story and not very original, I think, but I'll tell it to you, anons. For shits and giggles.

She's somewhat narcissistic, control-freak woman who I left couple of months ago. I was with her 3,5 years. I just got tired of her controlling and other madness she caused in my life at the end, so I decided to leave that life behind. She contacted me couple of times and the last time she did, she started to go over the same bullshit we did before and after the break-up. The usual "We must understand each other", "We still have hope" and "I still love you" etc. I've heard those thousands of times and she treated me like shit right after saying something like she's loving me. She wanted to control me emotionally, sexually and psychically. Fucking repulsing life, when put into the retrospect, if you ask me. I got angry to her, told her everything what was in my mind about her(which were quite heavy stuff, believe me. I let it all out that time. Again.).

Well, she of course got upset with me.

But I had to contact her, because I forgot some of my stuff in her apartment(I know, this is where I made a mistake for forgetting). I apologized the way I said my feelings about her. I asked her to mail them and I'd pay the expenses. She refused. Then she put my stuff for sale on Facebook(more like giving them away to friends. Luckily nobody was interested in my stuff. Joke's on her.)
I was going to drive to her city to fetch my items. In the halfway of the trip she messaged that she didn't want to meet or give my stuff. At that point I had driven about 130km and there was 120km to go. She refused to give them or face me just to fuck around with me. I said that this is not time to fight and she'll leave my stuff in front of her door that I'll fetch 'em. So she did and after that I haven't heard anything from her directly. Only our common friends told me how she's doing.

Continue ->

>>686188238
maybe the girl rejected you because of your low self esteem

I composed music for twenty years and the world never showed much interest in my work.

Granted, it was unusual and not really for everybody, but I thought that word-of-mouth would have generated at least a little bit of interest, after all this time.

Ah, life is a horrible joke indeed...

>>686193158
Jump on that opportunity like a fucking lion on it's prey. Damn it boy, jump on the opportunity. Call her, take her out, have a blast. Don't piss things like this down the drain because of your insecurity.

>>686193048
a poet and a scholar. you might earn big bucks if this can take off.

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Girl who likes me wants to stop talking

>>686193646
>being this beta

>>686193499
Are you trolling or legitimate?

>>686178403
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IryUImWprOg

>>686193896
Not the same guy, but I, for one, like it.

>>686193395
Truth is I am insecure mate. On the outside people think I'm confident and that I'm outgoing and good with girls but I'm still a virgin, and I have like 2 people who I can call real friends, others are just acquaintance. Typical anxieties about size and duration apply with the virgin thing.

Been feeling real down lately

>>686179969
If it makes you feel any better, my mom gave me the choice between braces or college, and I'm about to start my senior year this fall/I'm turning 21 in two days. Once I get student debt paid off, it's braces time.
I'll be mid- to late-20s before I even get mine.

>>686193896
I'm legit, but the timing and story needs to be right to release it you feel me?

>>686193896
His advice is true for lots of things m8. Most things can earn big bucks if it'll take off

So I'm at a sleepover at good friend(girl) with another girl whom I like.. What do? I'm on the couch and she is with pijama shorts.. How do I make the move /b/ros

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>>686193195

Cont.

So I got my stuff and I've been living happily elsewhere. I'm still recovering from the straight 1-2 years of living in stressful relationship, where I was pressured almost all that time.

I'm on Facebook and in one social media community website. I made couple of tests on how much she's watching my stuff.

I gave couple of likes in the community website to couple of beautiful female users. I never gave them to anybody and so wasn't she. But on right on the next day she gave three likes to some guys there.

Then I published there that I am single and I even cancelled the notifications of that matter. So she had to view my profile to see that I'm single. Right the next day she declares on Facebook that she's in relationship that is difficult to explain and in the community website she's in relationship.

Yeah, sure. Good luck with that. She's just trying stab me mentally with these things, but honestly, I don't really care. I even said to her that if she finds some guy to live with, I wish her the best of luck. But that guy wasn't going to be me. She must be watching me all the time to react so quickly to my actions. Fucking crazy.

>>686178403
What I listen to when I'm depressed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ookuZmLnSg&spfreload=5

>>686194166
Hm. I have a bunch of these. Last one I made was 4 months ago. They get better in my opinion.

>>686184082
You sound like my brother

>>686194526
hold on to them, if anything they can be your legacy.

>>686194554
I might be your brother. Name?

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>>686194314
Maybe don't spend so much time on facebook

>>686194818
If you're my brother, your name is Scott

>>686194975
Nope. But I hope Scott finds a car soon.

Where did everything go so wrong?
When did everything go so wrong?

Ask myself these two questions everyday

>>686194074
I know the feel of insecurity mate, I really do. But this is an opportunity that you can use to help yourself improve and possibly even find some happiness in. It's scary to jump in to these kinds of things I know but as Wayne Gretzky once said; "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take". So take the shot even if you don't feel optimistic about it because you might just get lucky and score a fucking goal.

>>686195109
Hope you do too, fake bro. Where are you at?

>>686194876

Actually not even spending that much time on Facebook. Got so much else to do. But she does spend a lot and to her, nothing is official if it's not on Facebook. I even had to like some of her shit posts, because she demanded that and wanted likes, attention or something. I found it awkward. Because we're talking about a person, who is nearly 40.

And I'm 90% sure that she hasn't met any guy to have a serious relationship with. And if she does, then she must've been checking that guy when we were still together. That gives more reasons for me to live on my own.

Can anyone tell me what it's like to be in love/loved, im 22 and have never been in a relationship, never really tried to be in one even when i was younger i kinda accepted that girls didn't like me much and it's true to this day. the last time i kissed a girl was over 3 years ago in a game of truth or dare and before that it was maybe another 5. I spend all my time alone in my house wondering what might be if i had someone in my life, someone to care for, someone to love, someone who loved me but i have never pulled my self together and tried to do anything about it.

My great aunt died recently and apparently no one paid for a coffin so at the viewing today they just had her in a cardboard box still wearing her hospital gown. They didn't even embalm her.

To be clear, I didn't go to the viewing and I didn't really know her, much less was I close to her. And I know this kind of thing happens all the time, and that a lot of people don't even get as much as she did, but all that up until now has been far away from me. This is the first time it's been this close to me.

I'm not sad or angry at anyone, that's not my point. It's just that she had a whole life and all she gets is a fucking cardboard box. I guess this is getting to me because I'm realizing that could be any of us.

I don't got overwatch

i don't like my girlfriend of three years.
shes annoying, violent, and bitchy.
however the sex is incredible.
however she's very overweight.
shes so mentally damaged she will kill herself if i leave her.
I feel like I'm going to be trapped for the rest of my life with someone I do not really love

>>686195831
I wouldn't mind if my family fed me to a lion or something. A cardboard box is a waste of a good box.

>>686195943
Another beta around.

Shes manipulating you with her pussy and her madness. I've seen this many times before.

>>686195383
Might do it tomorrow man, probably have a few drinks beforehand. Thanks for talking to me, needed somewhere to get it off my chest

>>686195943
Walk away. Just walk away don't waste your fucking life with her. No pussy is worth that.

>>686196146
trust me I know.
If i was more confident that I could find someone else I would probably run for the hills. but im a beta faggot

>>686178403
Moving out in a day and I'm sure I'm gonna fuck up living on my own. Only have savings to get me through a month and a half max, meaning that if I don't find a job almost instantly I can start looking for some cheap bleach.

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>You were lurking as usual at night instead of sleeping
>In a webm thread, you see one of those "you have been visited by..." pictures
>It's the sad genie of the bad life choices
>From what the post states, no one rubbed his lamp anymore, so he got himself on the net
>Still, no one would rub him
>The thread was not that good anyways, so you post "I'll rub you genie"
>Suddenly, a blue fog surrounds you and you hear a voice insiste your mind
>"Since you're the first to say that in ages, I'll let you wish for one thing"
>"There has to be a day you fucked up really bad Anon... I'll make it disapear."
>"everything that happened that day will vanish and you shall live on with à better life"

What day will you choose Anon ?

>>686195943
Her happiness is NOT your responsibility. The only happiness that is your responsibility, the only actions that are your responsibility are your own. She obviously chooses to not help herself so it's her own fault. Leave her my friend, go find your happiness on your own or in the arms of someone who really does love you. But never forfeit your own life for the gain of someone else.

>>686195739

>>686194314 here.

Being loved is awesome, if the feeling is mutual, of course. If it's not mutual, then it's awkward. At the worst, it's extremely irritating. Depending on the case of course.

Don't lose your hope. Search someone you can talk to, to be friends to start with. If your feelings get deeper from that, then let it go that way. Don't screw things by over-attaching to someone and be less independent. Don't be a dog longing for its master. Be yourself and be with people you're comfortable with. There you'll find someone for sure.

I jumped to relationship without knowing the person very well and it cost me many, many opportunities in life. Don't screw your life over somebody, find somebody to support you in your decisions and your life. And do the same to the other.

>>686196168
You're more than welcome my friend!

>>686196271
i want to really badly but to add on to the situation I live with her. I have one semester left in college in this town and I don't have the finances to live in one of the most expensive cities in the united states on my own. i could run away to home and give up on college but that would be the worst thing in the world
>>686196312
god youre so right

How do I talk to someone and have them be interested in having a conversation, instead of ignoring me/wanting me to go away.

>>686193048
I'm really diggin this, it's awesome. Will you please post more?

>>686196282
You still alive in this world, get away from that life while u can, if she gets pregnant, its for sure GG

>>686196310
The day that she kiss me, I want to forget all of that, just move forward

You faggots want the feels. Watch this shit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVf9GVHw8s0

>>686196121
Lol yea, I've always figured when I'm dead I won't care what happens to me because I'll be dead, but it was just surprising to me

>>686196663
thank god for the IUD if she got preggers I'd probably put a shotgun in my mouth

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I was sleeping, and the sun was bruning me, so i woke up and closed the window and said: Uh, these days, i don't know i don't feel sad.
Then i rememberd the memes: "that's the problem i don't feel anything"
I laughed and cried, because that's true, nothing is can be worst now, and so i said: ugh, let's, do something, i have internet, don't forget it, i can do too many things tp hide feels and such.
anyway, i'm here mates.
>and so i'll share the funny gif that made me smile a few minutes ago.

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I believe in you, anon

I've started taking Ecsilopram to help with my anxiety and depression, but it doesn't do anything for me. My doc says that I just need to stay on the stuff for a few more weeks, but I don't know if I can keeo going. I live near a railroad. If I lay with my neck positioned right on the rail, the train should behead me, right? Is this a good, painless method? I want my death to be public for some reason, but murder-suicide is out of it because I don't want to hurt anyone. Before anyone says anything, I haven't seen my family for over a year since they threw me out and I haven't been in a relationship for almost 6 months.

>>686196523
well fuck. How much till you finish collage?
But again, don't lie her and yourself mate.

>>686196931
I finish in december
I would be an awful person for pulling her along but shes such a terrible partner i just dont know

I've been on fluoxetine for years for anxiety.

I just got a new job as a pizza delivery driver, where I apparently have to answer phones.

I'm anxious as fuck and have been thinking about going to america to try a shooting range, then shooting myself.

I just can't deal with talking to people.

>>686196598
Ask them engaging questions, be genuinely interested, and stop thinking about yourself. That's all I desire out of a conversation.

>>686196598
Listen to them, at the point that you don't even say anything about you, because you're listening and memorizing anything, they will feel understood, sometimes it works, i learned it form a TED talk about it.

>>686188495
Go on a date, then

>>686196365
Same guy from >39, i find it very very hard to show feelings of "love" and find it even harder to have girl "friends" i can walk up to any guy and talk to him to probs but a girl i almost always have to be pissed to be able to keep a conversation going. I liked a girl once a few years back, i liked her for ages despite her dating two of my friends when the time came that she was single i did the most i have ever done to let a girl know i like her.......so yeah i took her for dinner once with friends, i texted her a lot, even text her one morning saying "morning beautiful"....that is the most i have ever done to show a girl i like her...turns out about 2 weeks after i lost all interest in her because she never showed any back and have never looked at her again...wasted money imo, basically i fucking suck balls at anything to do with women i cant talk to them, cant chat them up, have never had any as friends i cant do jack fucking shit with them.

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>Be me
>couple of weeks ago actually
>third year of gymnasium (pretty much high-school/college hybrid) chilling with a program for gym, hence why I spend alot of time on /fit/
>GF in the same building, acting major course
>She has a classmate, who we will call Max
>Max is pretty tall, really cheerful, always a smile on his face
>He's into older movies and music, is quite a swagger
>Wore a fedora in a positive, cool way (it's rare, I know)
>Anways, old-fashioned Max loved acting, so of course he became an acting major
>He actually was the first one in my girlfriends group of friends who talked to me, who was unknown to them at the time. I was playing piano in the school alone and he walked in and complimented a stranger like me.

>Fast forward, one thing leads to another, and me and gf get together, I am real happy and thankful to Max who sparked the relationship pretty much
>Get very close friends with gf's classmates, artsy people enjoy the gym kid playing piano
>One day, Max tells me he is insecure about his body, and asks me for tips on how to exercise
>I tell him some basic stuff but with a follow-up

>"Max, just remember that you look handsome the way you are now, but we could all lose a few pound, eh? Just remember to give it your all, and you will see results"
>He thanked me and walked away, merry as always

>Just about exactly a week ago, I woke up with my girlfriend, we both had recieved calls from two of her friends
>Max had passed away that morning, the entire school was at place in a room dedicated to him
>GF and I rush to the bus, at this point I'm holding back tears
>When we get there we get more details on how he died
>Turns out he was at the gym in the middle of the night, and when he was done, he ran all the way home, no breaks along the way.
>He literally died from over-exhaustion, it's a 1% for someone his age to die from that
>I told him to give it his all, and he did. RIP Max

>>686187439
Well you literally just described me.

>>686196876
Give some though to the happiness of the train driver, Anon. That man doesn't deserve to live the rest of their lives blaming themselves for your death. I'd rather you not end your life but if you do you MUST do it yourself without help or intervention from any other person whether directly or indirectly.

>>686197055
well fuck it. If you eat shit for 3.5 years hold up until december and than just leave.
She will try everything to bring you back and to fuck up your life, you need to be strong and you must resist.

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>>686178878
I've worked most of my life away. It's sounds stupid to say since I'm only 20 but I've had a job since I was 12, I bounce from job to job to make money because my family is in massive debt (I'll tell you all about that later) and the money is great but I'm just not happy. I just left and found another job. Whenever I try to do something about my happiness, I start thinking about how unimportant it is since I need the money. My family is recovering from my abusive step dad. The guy was an alcoholic and he is also the father of my brother and sister. So I guess that's why she never left him it wasn't until one day the abuse got to much that I fought him. And it was only then that I found out he wasn't my dad. I guess after that my mom decided to stand up for the family and called the cops the next and last time he got drunk and abusive. He was arrested and I haven't seen him in ever since. It was great I guess because now we didn't have to deal with but after that bills started piling up because my mom and my shit paying job were the only thing keeping us steady. I had to drop out of school to pay bills and all I've done was dedicate my life to work. My brother is a drug addict and has been in and out of rehab, my sister has so many mental illnesses it saddens me and my mom is suicidal. I thought about killing myself but if I do that only makes it harder on them

>>686197233
>>686197274
Thank you /b/ros. I appreciate that you took the time to reply to me.

>>686195943
I had something similar, just leave. The relief is incredible.

>>686197356
You know what anon youre right
It's just another few months.
And fuck it maybe I'll get some revenge during the end of this hell

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>>686178403

>>686193646
There will be another one mate, just that.. that's the true.

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sometimes...

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>>686197560

>>686197623
Or, try not being a mopey little cunt and go make yourself happy.

Man, so let me tell you all a fun story that ends tragically.

When I was 17 in my second year of college, I started going to the BCM (Baptist Collegiate Ministry) at a nearby campus. Since I didn't go to that school, I only ever went to their Wednesday night worship. So there was this girl there, J, who absolutely wanted the D. She had some kind of birth defect where she's not very pretty (quite ugly to be frank) but her personality was fantastic and she was completely capable on her own, didn't need to latch on to a man or anything.

She also seems to have a nice rack.

So yeah, we were fast friends and she totally wanted the D. She was so happy the first time I hugged her lol, it was great. But I was going to move a few states away. I never told her this but when I was 16 I found out that my dad wasn't my bio father. I had a really crappy time growing up and that just broke me. 5 years later and I still need to see a counselor at some point cause I am not ok. I moved back to where most of my family was because he was there too. I told everyone I was moving cause of family but really I just stupidly thought that maybe I could quell the pain in me by getting to know him better.

So I should have asked J out but I knew it'd never work out. This one time I went on a mission trip to China along with another guy from the BCM and J wrote us both encouraging letters for every day of the trip. But my idiot friend lost my letters, so I had to lie to J about getting them. I couldn't though because there was a necklace present inside that she asked about, so I manned up and told her the truth and apologized.

>"That's ok anon"
>"I wish you would have told me the truth from the start."
>"But I still love you."

cont.

>>686197284
Damn.. fucking R.I.P. indeed.
>>686197516
<3 just be strong, and don't let her to get to you. No need for revenge that shit will catch you. Just leave her ass and that is the best shit you will ever do to her. Even better go git better looking girl. They hate that.
It means that you are over her and moved along while she will tapping in place.

You know how life has seasons like nature right? Well my entire life has been a cold, dark winter. But for some reason I feel like my winter might at last be coming to an end. And honestly, I'm scared. Things seem to be going to good and I don't know what to do. I have a job, I like my co workers, I have almost 2 grand in my savings, I might be getting a girlfriend soon, when I see myself in the mirror I don't hate what I see anymore and I don't find myself repulsive like I did a couple of years ago, and suddenly girls find me attractive now. I don't know man, I'm kinda freaking out. And you know what's really weird? To me it seems as though I wasn't really in my body for most of my life, it's like I was there but it wasn't really me. Anyway, if anyone takes the time to read this, thank you for your time and I hope everything works out for you in your favor and you have an amazing day or night or whatever.

>>686197918
I was taken off guard, said, "I love you too", hugged her and left.

So the time came for me to move. She kept in touch, always wanting me to come down for different events but I never could of course. Not for two and a half years did I visit. She was so so so happy when I came down, we had a grate lunch and caught up and everything.

But then she stopped talking to me and blocked me on Facebook and Instagram. I have no idea why. There wasn't any cringey stuff at the lunch, we just hugged and talked, it was so great. I can't stop thinking about it though, it's really bugging me. I mean, just blocking someone for no apparent reason is really weird. Do you guys who may have more grill experience have any clue what's up with that? I tried emailing her and she never responded.

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>>686197281

Talk to them like you talk to your male friends. Tell jokes that are politically very incorrect(if it suits your type of humor, of course). Talk to them like you've known them for a long time, but you've forgot everything who they are. Women love attention that is given to them, so ask shit load of stuff about her, be interested in what she does, invite her to have a beer or something. Like what you'd do with your friends overall, basically. But with this friend, you probably want sex or something more. And things will lead to that, if you give her attention and space.

I'm not an alpha-male or anything to tell you the bullet-proof way to find a partner. I'm a average looking, long-haired musician guy in mid-20's talking from experience. I've got lots of female friends, try to get female friends first to get confidence to start flirting to one.

>>686198072
She got her closure. Let it go.

>>686197284
shit man
good intentions turning out bad is my weak point

>>686198072

She sought attention, you gave her attention. Once it got too close, she found someone else to bounce around. Those kinds of girls want to feel wanted by others' expense.

>>686198200
Nigger i do fucking try but for some reason i turn into a fucking retard when i do...i just fail like made at keeping the conversation going..i have no idea what to talk about...what the fuck do women even talk about to men. I could say politically incorrect things but im a right wing nazi with portraits of hitler in my house so it would probs not work...but if there is one thing im good at its ripping the piss out of people. I understand the whole talk to them as if they're a friend just one you want to fuck...but due to never having a gf or any interest shown to me i don't even see most girls unless they're very very attractive as someone i would fuck, maybe its just who i am you say you're a "long-haired musician guy in mid-20's" well im a 22yo biker that likes to drink, chill, eat, have a laugh and crap like that...just none of it involves women.

>>686198360
See, to me, that's probably what makes the most sense. She realized it'll never work out and cutting contact is good for her to "end" it.

But it's so weird. I mean, just a few months ago we were liking every single one of each other's photos or joking about my cat pictures/her math stuff. It's pretty sudden.

But now I feel like I shouldn't visit at all because I can't go to the BCM without likely seeing her, and if that would bug her then I'm not gonna do it.

>>686198543
Worst part is, I didn't even know him that well compared to his class-mates, they were tighter than glue.

There was this one girl in their class, we can call her Ellen. She and Max was pretty much a couple, but also not. More like siblings. She and I were the only two people he told about his insecurity about being out of shape (only reason he told me was because I was the only one he knew that had knowledge and experience with that kind of stuff)

And nobody else besides me will ever know what I told him, and it hurts me everyday knowing that I was the one who pushed him in the hopes that it would help.

>>686197284
I don't understand very well this /fit feels, but, eh.. life goes on anon.

>>686199124
TL;DR

I made a friend of mine, who was insecure about his body, push himself to the limit. And I feel guilty about the fact that I told him to give it his all, and when he did he died. This happened last monday.

>>686199086
It wasn't your fault anon. You had good intentions, but he should have been able to tell something wasn't right when he was exercising.

Bad things just happen sometimes. It's nobodies fault really.

It's time for me to leave the thread now Anons. Remember that when your life crumbles around you you're still left standing and able. I'll keep pushing ahead with my own recovery and I hope you all do the same. Good luck and bless you all.

>>686199314
yeah, I suppose. Worst part still has to be the fact that he didn't feel anything until he got home. He blacked out in the lobby of his own home. His own mother had to give him HLR while calling an ambulance in the middle of the night.

His mother saw her own son fall asleep and never wake up again, and I still have trouble sleeping at night.

I'm 29 and have no gf/never had one.

How do I ask my mother for advice on this sort of thing. It's just not the sort of thing we talk about.

feeling lonely as usual, not a real problem honestly but I wouldn't mind having a gf

>>686199652
Your mother loves you, and the fact that you would even come up to her and ask her for advice would mean the world to her I think. Alot of children, including me, take parents for granted and underestimate their giving powers, wether it be material things, or advice like in your case.

Best bet is to just be honest to her and ask for advice, see what she says. I am a different age so it's a bit hard for me to say how to find yourself a partner at your age, since the rules are different. I'm still in school so.

>>686182993
You were a very young man, there's only so much a kid can absorb of death at that age. The promise you made him you do your best to live up to. Don't beat yourself over what happened but use it to move forward and give yourself a break. Best of luck to you

>>686199016

Then lower your standards man. Know your league where to compete, if you're competing for a woman. We live in a superficial world, my friend. Here models fuck models and trolls fuck trolls. If troll got fuck-loads of money or power, then the models will occasionally fuck the troll.

Apart from that. Relax man, there's someone for you somewhere. We're both young and possibilities are endless. I assume you live in a big city? Well I live in a town of 55 000 people overall and here everybody knows each other. You might accidentally fuck your best friend's cousin and the whole village will know about that next morning due to the gossip ring. Try get laid here or find someone, but hey, you always gotta try and live with the consequences.

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>>686178403
I seriously hate being like this. I'm tired of mood swings, violent crashes into depression for no reason whatever, and life just sucking. I cut myself again for the first time in a long time 2 nights ago, I stopped drinking because I thought my life would improve but it's still fucking awful here 2 years later. 2 years without drinking. I wish I had the guts to take out my rage on someone else, but I know I'll pussy out and just take it out on myself again instead.

"Life is one long struggle in the dark"
Lucretius

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I'm feeling the lowest I have since being put on a psych ward

>been abused
>victim of domestic violence
>witnessed the sexual assault of a friend

8 people have taken there lives as a result of high school bullying

I really feel like I could be the 9th
I'm just hanging on till I can see a doctor.

Anyone got that infographic for an exit mask?

>>686199297
Oh, i understand now, i had simmilar experiences, feels bad, well, /b/rotheres are always here.

Anyone here ever got over self-loathing?
Anyone lied to themselves over a situation and convinced themselves they're something that they're not?
Anyone feel broken inside, no matter how many times they find a solution for how they're feeling?
Anyone let something pathetic break them down?
Is it my brain chemistry? The things that bother me now never bothered me before. Tell me /b/, what's the worst thing you've ever fapped over/done?

>>686201004
the truth is that you're lying to yourself that everything is bad, ass-faggot.

>>686200527
I have no league, i know im not that good looking but not even fat girls look at me these days. You have the wrong life, i live in a small town in the country with about 7300 people "the largest in the county" my youngest friend is like almost 20 years older then me they all have wifes and kids, i have no social life i have going out to clubs and shit unless it's drinking in a nice countryside pub where the cops dont fuck with us and we can drink drive then i wont do anything...my life for a 22 yo is shit and this is the best its been in years.

>>686201316
>i have no social life i hate going out to clubs

>>686200887
That picture man, it fucking kills me.

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>>686187705
Jesus christ, white text on a black surface is hard to read. It burned into my retinas

>>686201316

Then move. Start over from somewhere else. If you want social life or find new friends, go find them. Get in contact with people.

And if you're extreme right-wing guy, who loves Hitler to the point it's almost gay, then keep it to yourself in the first contact. I can imagine that you look like some skin head or something. You can do something about it or change your attitude. You won't find your aryan woman via politics. Otherwise you can go on with your life and complain about the same shit all over again.

>>686201004
No, but, you know, hmm, never give up.

How sad we all actually are

>>686193048
This is pretty good anon

>>686201908
Right so im not a skin head, im not like a neo nazi or some shit in fact i hate neo nazis im just and average looking guy with a full head of hair. i cant move from where i am as i have no money and no job, im not looking for and aryan woman just someone i will know that i will wake up to in 10 years time and still love the way she looks, i have tried to make friends and when everything is going good for some reason they just bail on me....Also i like hitler im dont get a raging hard on for him every time i see him and i don't mention my political views often because most people are pussys and cry about it.

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>>686201723
His case is 404'd
Hopefully he made it to his dream

I dont get it why did he have too hold the door?

>>686202495
shit like that makes actually the giver feel nicer than the getter

Well, gentlemen, i only can say, i'm having a "good time" in honor of all of you that are having a bad time.

>>686202658
Because he's strong.

>>686196310
my birthday...

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I've been alone for so long, so quiet. I don't know how to interact with people anymore. That used to make me really sad, I felt like shit all the damn time. Then one day I realized I no longer felt sad. In fact I didn't feel anything at all. I laugh when something is funny, I cry when something is sad, but none of those emotions have any weight to them. There is nothing but silence. It's been so long, I'm tired, but I don't feel it. That makes me think that I feel like shit.

I think ive fallen for a girl that lives over 3000 miles away.

Scratch that, I've fallen for a girl who lives 3000 miles away...
I'm scared about it.

>>686182080
Don't be afraid Anon, but you do have a rare jewel. Remember that you've been building your happiness everyday. Think of your happiness as a mighty castle, and each day is a new brick added. The bricks you added previously cannot be destroyed or moved, because they no longer exist. And if anyone ever tries to take the days brick from you, just remember that they can't. The brick only exists in your hand.

>>686196310
Day I was conceived

>>686196310
The day i told my dad i hated him.

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Remember to smile, anon.

>>686203459
Shit happened to me too, i became so fucking emotionless, it kills me when i think that i literately don't feel feelings other then sadness to once think 15 years ago i was a kid bursting full of emotions and happiness and now i'm a cold hearted adult with god knows how many depressing lonely years ahead of me.

>>686204444
Quads always tell the truth

>>686204444
Quads never lie.

>>686203714
Me too, and sigh... what i'm doing is just letting her know how much i like her, and how much she's beautiful etc... just that.

>>686193048
Can someone save this?

>>686203714
im scared to fall for any girl.

>>686202658
Nooooo 'flashbacks intensifies'

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLj1vz7zMM6BlHc08XIsKDfco9tXRyNTd0

>>686196866
thanks m8

>>686206178
Can you pls save it? you also realised it must be saved, i'm not using my pc and won't use it in a long..

>>686206204
Be scared that they may won't fall for you never.

>>686206963
No question about it that they wont.

Fell in love with a girl who's in an abusive relationship. She uses me to comfort her after he physically hurts her and always plans to leave him. However he's caught on that she could be happy with me and now guilts her. Threatens to kill himself, talks about how she's all he's got.

He literally has 0 friends (hes just unloveable) and she has been trying to leave him for two years (I've only been part of the picture for a month or so.)

She wants to have sex with me to help her find a solid reasson to force her breakup. I'm a moralefag i guess though as I don't want to do that to anyone. I mean how can I have a stable relationship with her if we started by me fucking her brains out while she's dating another guy???

Shits so fucked guys and I'm already a depressed cunt as it is.

The story gets so complex and fucking feelsbadman if I were to explain more. But yeah shits the reasson I'm here unable to sleep (4hours until my alarm o yay).

>>686196310
the day i died..

jesus anons...

this is a brutal feels thread.

I came for a few good stories but... alas I'm no sociopath so a cried a few times...

inb4 ur a faggot, I am a grown man with a college degree and a successful gf of 5 years and I'm happy as hell for the most part...

but... I don't deny that I have healthy emotions and... damn sons... you got me...

a LOT of you...

thanks for the feels, /b/.... all my love goes to you tonight. take care... please....

>>686182080
Lucky asshole. I stopped being sad, but that demon was merely replaced by one more powerful;
Anger. The consuming kind.
I can't feel sadness, I refuse to be weak.
I can't feel love, even though I want it.
I can't feel happy, but I can make a pretty good imitation.
I'm afraid of myself sometimes, but I'm more scared of relapsing into weak inaction.
What the fuck is happening to me bros? I can feel my ability to have attachments to people fading. I'm scared.

>be me
>gf has bpd
>she hates me one sec and loves me another
>find out she cheated with one of my mutual friends and blamed it on not loving me at the time
>still giving a chance

>>686206985
Damn, i thought i will never feel so bad just because of an image...

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>>686182080
Its a scary thought losing the new happiness, but if you dwell on it youll never be able to fully enjoy it. Just enjoy it and cherish it. It might go one day, but at least you will still have the memories and maybe youll be in a better place so it wont be so bad.

>>686193048
anon, tht's some good writting, but i would recomend you if you take a step foward and make it even more personal, though i really enjoyed it i think that if you crave deeper you WILL find the gold in you, i see some potential, if not i wouldn't respond

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>>686207672
You're like me. We can't be sad but we'll never be truly happy. We can only hope to fake it long enough to get ourselves to believe it.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPkCbIa1hmg

;_;

>want to fuck someone
>they have a bitchy ex
>hearing about it rn
>am i a good person yet