Kill yourself

Simple, just murder yourself and they can't do shit to you.

Last bullet is for no trial.

>>686136852
Colonel Mustard with a lead pipe in the drawing room.

>>686136852
random murders are hard to solve

most assholes kill somebody close to them

Stay out of jail bullet

>>686136852
meticulous caution.

Study all details of the target. If it's someone you know, stop talking to them for a while, a year plus is ideal. If it's someone you don't know and have NO connection to at all, then the wait can be longer.

Determine the best time to assault, and do so quickly and quietly.

A good idea would be a .22 to the head with no warning and from a slight distance. Leave no traces at all. Leave quickly but quietly and without a panic. Avoid cameras at all costs, but mitigate the risk with a simple disguise that does not draw attention to yourself. Wear a hat.

Plan a legal defense ahead of time. Ideally you were "at home watching tv" or something minor that cannot be proven or unproven.

>>686136852
First you gotta learn to spell the word

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>>686136852
Not 100% sure Mueder is a crime. Dope.

>>686137737

Good to know i have good thinking then, i was starting to worring about doing it wrong. but all i got is a .357, should buy something better for the occasion?

>>686138398
Trigger discipline, you goddamned moron.

>>686136852
Don't use a fucking gun

>>686138505
Do not be touchy bout it
the drum is out.

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hello there fbi

>>686138721
people kill people all the time, i dont see why annon should not use a gun.

run.

>>686136852

>Marry the future Governor of Arkansas
>Insert yourself into his administration
>Become first lady
>get sympathy votes because he fucks anything that moves
>go to congress
>speak negroid when you need
>lose to a real nigger
>get sympathy Sec of State job
>pull guards from Embassy in Libya

Pretty fucking easy.

>>686138398
I'd recommend .22. .357 is very loud, and will be immediately recognizable as a gunshot.

A .22 is quieter, and could be passed off as a balloon popping or other random "crack" sound instead.

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>>686138924
Yeah...

>>686139256

Gut

i have been fallowing this guy, for 3-4 weeks, and i almost got caught the last time i did it, it was durin night with no witness, but i still think it was the gunshot that trigger the "alarms" with the cops in the area.

A .22 it is then.

>>686136852
Do not use a gun unless you plan to recover the bullet and casing. Cops find a bullet it's as good as a fingerprint. Only matches your gun!

if i ever needed to murder someone i would
1. use a knife like a kitchen knife
reason: Because it cant be traced because alot of people have kitchen knifes
2. i would dispose of it by burying it far in a remote area
3. wear mask and hoodie so no id possible
4. Avoid any public area with cctv

since im just asuming most of this can anyone back me up if thats best chance of not being caught

I always wonder how many murders go unsolved in areas with gators/crocs.

>>686140792
>your gun
killing people with legally bought guns...

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leave random notes with zodiac symbols lying around to confuse the police

>>686142258
honestly who would do that i mean ive never murdered anyone but i would know you would want to steal/buy illegaly

>>686142321
And maybe a random ass flower

>>686136852
Become a cop.

>>686142429
kek

>>686137737
I'm not the anon that posted this but that's how you make the kill, next you have to dispose of the body. I would recommend driving out into the wilderness and cremating the body in a big fire. Then crush, bury and scatter the bones

>>686136852
>>686137076
This.
If you're interested in vengeance, it's not worth it.
And if you just want to kill someone, start with yourself.

>>686137737
>A good idea would be a .22 to the head with no warning and from a slight distance. Leave no traces at all.
So are you going to dig that bullet out of their head?

>>686137045
There is no fucking drawing room.

>>686142893
you are stupid, you can cremate a body with just a camp fire, you would still have flesh, if i was to dispose it i would just bury it or hide it in a water where there is flesh eating fish/crocs

666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

stab a complete stranger with an icicle in a remote location with no witnesses.

leave no fingerprints, have an alibi.

i don't see how anyone could trace that to you.

>>686143003
if you get realy close you might be able to get it to go right through

>>686142893
Way I see it, you either shoot them from a distance, with hollow points, and never even touch the body, or kill them in their home hand to hand and dispose of the body there.
Any other way just ups your chances of being caught.

>>686143256
anon said from a slight distance. I doubt a pea shooter would make it through.

>>686143130
>>686142893

tfw no one has studied criminology and no one knows how gas chromatography, decomposition, soil sampling, or decay scatter works.

>>686143235
well problem with that is that icicles are really not gonna work its a myth

>>686143370
Hollow points are easily traceable.

>>686142893
Fire is stupid as shit to dispose of anything with. Causes a lot of attention and leaves more evidence than you'd think. Wildlife eating the body is the best way to go.

>>686143470
as I posted previously, why not dump the body in the glades and let the gators do the rest?

>>686143552
Don't they fragment on impact?
All they'll have left is tiny bits of metal.

Your best bet is to use a sharpened tool that you fashioned to be a knife, then it's not traceable throw away the weapon weeks after, burn your clothes from that night, take a vacation, leave no evidence you were planning it, randomness is your ally here.

>>686136852
murder i think is one of the easiest crimes if your not dumb

>>686143710
You can't just dump a body and hope nature works things out.
Someone might find it.
If you can, feed it directly to the gator or other methods that involve scattering the corpse to different places.

>>686136852
killing strangers is ezpz. if you don't get caught at the scene and there's no random security camera with your face on it, then you're pretty set to kill whoever.

killing someone you know is much harder, because eventually investigators will be at your house and you might drop spaghetti all over the place.

>>686143470
Watching csi doesn't mean you studied criminology.

>>686143912
There are plenty of places where they gather in great numbers. I wouldn't be dumb enough to just toss it in the water.

I would wear gloves, a mask and a hoodie
I would snap someone's neck because it would not be bloody
then hang them to fake a suicide

>>686136852
Live in Detroit.

>>686144162
Still, there can't be a single doubt, you need to make damn sure it happens.
It's your freedom/life on the line, you can't afford to take the lazy way out.

>>686144446
Exactly why I would watch them eat it

>>686143826
You leaving the city might be suspicious.

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>>686136852
REMEMBER CHILDREN: Its only murder if they find the body.... untill then you're just another MISSING person.

>>686143481
Clearly someone hasn't tried hard enough.

>>686136852

You don't move until people arrive and then you pretend you didn't see anything, if they come and ask what happened.

>>686144694
is he gunna liv

>>686144845
Hell be fine timmy

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>>686136852
mueder is impossible to get away with..Murder on the other hand is a different story...
if i was you i would go with tetrodotoxin .. which is found in the family of Lagocephalus sceleratus..almost impossible to trace if administered right

>>686140792
I'd take my chances with a gun (a revolver would solve the casing issue) then getting up close and risking failure or forensic evidence that is damnable.

How to get away with murder:
drug someone, put them in a van tied them up
get a old carpet kill them put them in the carpet and finally leave them in a forest.

Just Kamehameha them. There will be nothing left.

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>>686144694
Remember: just two ordinary apple seeds contains enough cyanide to kill a grown man. But it must be ground up to be absorbed in the body.

I'd use a couple extra just incase.

>>686145262
Nah bro, crossbow.
It's silent, quick, you can strike from a distance, and you can recover the bolts.
Only problem is you only get one shot.

>>686136852
simple you just go away with it

>>686145572
Remember: They perform autopsies

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Placing this at the scene
>There is no other way

>>686145698
Then use a fucking compound bow?
>mfw your a fucking tard

>>686144612
Planning the vacation in advance and murdering before then is not suspicious. Also you aren't killing anyone you know.

>>686144757
well ive never tried i mean you could probs hemorrhage their skull

>>686145731
Whats your Motive? If you no motive they wont have any suspicion it was you. Also ground up glass works well if you have means to access their food for a couple days.

>>686145177
Joel?

>>686145572
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1-2 mg/kg is a fatal oral dose of cyanide for a 154 lbs. (70 kg) man. You would need to finely chew and eat about 200 apple seeds, or about 20 apple cores, to receive a fatal dose.

>>686145177
this

>>686145971
hey Dave ..sup?

>>686145528
Just spirit bomb them

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Here you go OP

>>686136852
Join the US military.

>>686145177
>almost impossible to trace
>almost impossible
>almost

>>686145812
If you're good enough with it.
A lot of people don't know how to draw back with enough force while still aiming correctly.
And the crossbow shoots fast enough that you don't have to worry too much about drop.

>>686139233
Very underrated

>>686145572
You're retarded. It's not even possible with the amount of seeds in one apple.

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>>686142429
Best suggestion so far

>>686136852

Almost impossible these days.
Cameras are everywhere and DNA can be taken from anything, even a droplet of dried sweat. Your best bet is poisoning someone slowly with antifreeze in their food/drink. This obviously has to be done to someone who is close to you and you have access to their food. This will also make you one of the first suspects.
It is best to do to someone who already is ill so it wont be a surprise when they are dead. If you do it slowly then the antifreeze wont show up in the basic autopsies they do for someone who isn't suspected of being murdered. However if they suspect foul play they will specifically test for antifreeze because it is such an efficient killer and hard to trace.

>>686136852
With a geun.

Don't forguet thue beulleuts.

>>686146314
Just practice a bit, its not hard to hit something at 50 yards, and if your going for a kill you better be within 50ft

>>686142429
hahahah nice and so true.

>>686145698
there's a problem with this plan: not many people own cross bows, and they're generally pretty large and hard to conceal.

also, you might be forced to retrieve the bolt, which means forensic evidence.

>>686136852
Random person, random circumstance, as few witnesses as possible and from as far away as you can.

I could give you more, but that would be ... unwise. Anyway, a clever person would figure it out on their own from here.

>>686146919
So you haven't figured it out.

>>686145698

Yeah cause it will be so hard to trace who has bought a crossbow in the last 3 years.
Better luck with a .22 and a homemade silencer made out of a 2 liter bottle or toilet paper roll, almost no sound with a .22 and a silencer.

wheres that damn body disposal post when you need it
basically control the body and environment at all times
drain blood
cut up
drop in wrapping in several places at night
????
profit

>>686146919

yes, random and also in a gang neighborhood so they think it is gang related. Do a driveby in Compton and no one will be looking for an edgy butt hurt white weeabo

>>686146855
True, you'd have to stash it close by beforehand, use it for less than a minute, break it down, and walk away.
Ideally, you should machine your own bolt.

>>686147224
SUPRESSOR BITCH! "Silencer" is overplayed and it needs to be understood that even if the shot is quiet the action of the weapon makes alot of noise, also youll need subsonic loads, and in a .22 they wont do much to a human >1inch away from target

>>686147187
I tell you, you tell a friend, next thing you know. we're living in another ice age.

You use the tactics to achieve the strategy. Cookie cutter solutions don't work for obvious reasons. Think through the fundamentals and then extrapolate. Get outside the box.

>get onto subway train
>wait until youre next to a suspicious looking dude
>stab in kidney with a gloved hand
>drop knife, pocket the glove
>then scream and cry like a bitch

>>686147224
>>686146855
If your concerned with records of you purchasing it, buy it on Craigslist, out of town, with cash.

>>686147627
So.... You still haven't figured it out.

Fucking amatuers