>>686105350
jump out of the closet and claim you are the police. when they ask to see your badge punch em in the face then steal their children

>>686105432
Would if I had a fucking gun.

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why are you on your phone instead of trying to break out? You should turn yourself in

>>686105350
Wait until they leave / go to sleep, as you contemplate the poor life choices that got you to this point.

Once the coast is clear, poop behind the sofa and leave.

Why are you there?

>>686105350
Call the fire department on the people down the street and when everyone goes to go stand around and be nosy make your escape

timestamp
better proof
or get the fuck off

>>686105608

Start placing things randomly

>>686105569
Because I can't, the fence is fucking 4 meters high, and I gotta run to the other side of the house WHERE THERE IS A GROUP OF PEOPLE STANDING IN A FUCKING CIRCLE SILENTLY

>>686105664
yeah because he propably has a pen and paper with him when he breaks in somewhere. faggot.

I would just fucking run for it if u know the way out.

>>686105705
Risky, I would have to find a pen and turn on the lights

>>686105748
This

Op breaking in to get himself some better memes

>>686105614
Genius. Im not OP, but great idea.

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>break into the house of innocent people who may try to kill you in self defense
>trapped in a small dark room
>better post it on /b/

god this place has gone to shit

>>686105748
no

Start fapping

>>686105614
Smart

>>686105748
Why not just casually walk out, apologize for intruding, explain how you got in, give ideas how to fix that opening, then walk off like nothing happened at all.

Find bleach. Drink bleach. Gain superpowers.

>>686105708
Did you break into a cult?

Holy shit this an opportunity in disguise. Find a sheet or a blanket or something and wrap yourself up then jump out and tell them you're their Messiah come to lead them to the promised land

>>686105944
Kek

>>686105350
Kill yourself because you are criminal nigger cancer scumfuck.

>>686105872
This

What is near you op?

>>686105922
lol... i guess in this case this wont work mh? I actually do this kinda stuff when i urbex if i get spotted. Just casually walk away... But i guess if ur inside a private house/apartment just walking out wouldnt work too well, kek

>>686105708
>the fence is fucking 4 meters high

The hell, did you break into a compound?

>>686105944
Slight problem
Just discovered this place smells of slight decomposing things.

I'm starting to freak the fuck out

>>686105350
Cant you just go out and break something so their attention gets somewhere they wouldnt recognize you? i dunno

Give yourself a black eye, and start sobbing. When they open the door, yell Nooooo! And then cry harder, saying "don't let him hurt me" over and over again. Then sprint out.

Your best bet is to just wait until everyone is asleep if you don't wanna get caught. If you try to make a run for it now, you run the risk of getting caught and going to jail.

>>686106164
You're going to die OP

>>686106172
LOL it's not like some sort of game where you can toss a glass bottle and they'll casually stroll over there wondering "what made that sound," people panick and run away from the source first, maybe even hide for a while and call the police.

break something in opposite side so then you make a run for it pussy

>>686105350
Wait for everyone to go to sleep.

And just go out as you broke out. It's 5 am so they will be dead in the next 2 hours. Good luck op

>>686105350
Just go to them and ask if they have some sugar.

Just run to the exit. If they see you just react and say '' Are you all okay? I just hear some screams and noises and i came the fastest possible '' Good luck

Act like a literal retard and pretend you thought this was your house. See this video for tips on how to act retardley
https://youtu.be/ZtSrTe4YG5s
People are Willing to believe retards

>>686106384
roll

>>686105350
take a shit u lil bitch

Fuck it
I'm going to smash this door open
And I'm going to leg it

I don't know what direction the exit is
So it's a 50/50 chance I'll escape

Will report if I get out

>>686106457
Don't die

>>686106308
Well that is if they are huge pussies. Usually people look there first. If a window breaks in your house. U gonna look there first. Who the fuck would just straight call the police without even looking at it.

He dun goofed

>>686106457
oh my god
this is not going to end well

>>686106457
Run forest.

>>686106164
Now this is 100% fake.

>>686106457
punch in the face the first person you see and RUN! hahaha

>>686106457
If you are doing it, jist wait until lights are off. And then go and make your run.

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>>686106457

>>686106457
glhf

>>686106277
Dubs speak the truth

Maybe, just maybe this will teach you not to break into sketchy houses and ask near psychotic Internet folk for advice on getting out of your shitty choices. Good luck. Don't die. Don't get eaten by a cult

>>686106457
God speed anon

ever hear of Forrest Gumps brother? oh, right he never made it

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>>686106457

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>>686105865
gone to shit? if this is real, this is gold, stop complaining your fucking ass off and stop sobbing and make quality content if this isnt good you FUCKING CUNT.

>>686106164
be careful op, i know you can get out

>>686106548
Speaking of forest I just jumped in one
They didn't chase me, but they only walked to the front yard and stopped

I'm going to stop posting until I'm 100% sure they can't find me

>>686106308
If you heard a piece of glass break in your kitchen, you would run away and call the cops?

>>686106600
what? go back to league of legends faggot

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>>686106457

>>686106457
You deserve to be fucking shot you dirty nigger.

>>686106457
i would have just waited for 5 hours and posted updates of life in the closet of some rando's house tbh, although still unclear as to why OP broke in in the first place

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>>686105865
Sounds like business as usual to me.

FUCK THEY'RE CHASING ME NOW

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>>686106686

OP what the FUCK did you do? Why are you in someone's house? Did you break in? Why?

No photos
No timestamp
Propably just same faggin
Fuck this thread

>>686106817
noice

>>686105350
I love this episode of Always Sunny

>>686106817
you dun fucked now

Op here. I made it out, and took off down the street. 3 guys started chasing me, but gave up after a block. I popped over to a gas station, and I'm hiding behind a dumpster. I hear sirens, and there are cops all over. How fucked?

>>686106689
I wouldn't run, but then again, not everyone has balls

>>686106817
And you still had time to type that and surpass the captcha? This is soooo fake.

>>686105350
Your black so rap or dribble your way out of this.

>>686106817
Fake. He would have time to captcha and respond while being chased

I'm calling bullshit. Running for your life but you can still post? bye. I hope this is real so your ass dies

It's 6 minutes, he ded

>>686106906
that was quick

>>686105350
wait a minute whatthefuck that looks like my laundry room

>>686106906
pants off, underwear on head, run out screaming, get yourself held on a mental health act, save yourself jail

>>686106906
you think you managed to get out without them seeing your face?

>>686106842
its new and entertaining. i would rather be here than a cuck or trap thread. fuck b honestly.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE!?

>>686106906
pretty fucked. Get new ID and get out of the country

>>686106906
Thisis greati

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>>686106906
change your clothes

>>686106911
Has balls? No one is going to instantly assume someone is in their house. You are painfully dull.

>>686106981
>its new
Lying on the internet isn't new.

>>686106906
inb4 hes playing the division

>>686106906
Just stay there and sleep.

Cop here, usually when we had those cases we just fill a report and if we have no suspects we call it a night. Worry not, just stay there and don't do something edgy.

>>686106978
I had my shirt pulled up over it for the most part. I have black hair, crew cut. It'd be hard to pin it on me.

>>686106906
Call someone u know to pick u up. Its a great getaway plan

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>>686106817

>>686106906
Keep moving! Take off your shirt and walk casually away from there.

Police arrived
I'm observing as bystander

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YOU KNOW /b/ HAS FUCKING GONE TO SHIT WHEN NO ONE IS COMMENTING ON THE FACT THIS PERSON IS A CRIMINAL AND A NIGGER.

Walk out casually like you didn't do anything

>>686106878
came here to say exactly that

>>686107136
hope he didn't kill anyone...

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>>686105350

>>686107125
Bystander at 5 am? You are going to get catched you fool.

>>686107125
post pics faggot

>>686107125
Send photo...

Say that you are a ghost and spook them, then throw up a sack of flour and ran out saying I am finally free

>>686107125
okay bullshit. Post picture or /thread

>>686107213
>send photo
neck yourself

Post pic of dumpster

>>686107125
>>686107196
>>686107082
>>686107031
>>686106694
>>686106645
>>686106548

>>686107193
>people actually think this is what happens

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Stop being a nigger?

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>>686107341
>>686107125
>>686107196
>>686107082
>>686107031
>>686106694
>>686106645
>>686106548
>>686107360

110 replies 56 posters / thread

>>686107415
dickhead

>>686107360
Liberal niggerloving cuck kill yourself.
Get real and look at what happens in reality, not your little fucking fairy land.

>>686106457
"I got to this closet /b/ro's, don't know how got here though lol"

Inb4 bad excuse adrenaline running bleh

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>>686107415
check out the mod guys

>>686107415
>119 replies 61 replies

>>686107360
>I like to pretend this isn't what happens

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>>686105865

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Somebody can't be as retarded as OP, right?

>>686106933
He must have a 4chan Gold Account.

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>>686107413

>>686107737
>implying someone called samefag when the picture is just implying everyone is brainwashed to love nigger culture.

>>686107125
>>686107125
>>686107125
If you pics then they won't suspect you

This is absolutely terrifying. I have a feeling this is real. Also imagine if op witnessed a murder or something crazy as fuck like some child sacrifice ritual

>>686105748
Shoe on head then.

>>686107819
>not implying that those people were all niggers

>>686107866
Nice try op xD

>>686107912
>implying that niggers aren't influenced by nigger culture

>>686107136
>guess summer is in full swing
fuck off newfag
>implying any self respecting oldfag would care if someone broke the law and posted it on here

that shit used to be the norm discussing all things technically illegal
/b/ used to be part of the fucking wild west of the internet, before your cancerous kind came in and cared about race or if people committed crimes

>>686108131
>implying that niggers aren't just white people with different colored pigmeats

This thread smells of autism

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>>686108145
>actually posting shit as retarded as this.

Found the newfag trying to pretend he's something he isn't.

I've been here since 2006. A year after it was created and /b/ was never pro-nigger criminal shit. At all. /b/ just never gave a fuck about what you posted in terms of posting porn and gore and shit on here, when it comes to shit like breaking into houses, no one accepted that shit. Take your dirty nigger talk somewhere else faggot.

>>686108391
>>686108145

LOL LOOK AT THESE DISGUSTING LIBERAL CUCKS. ESPECIALLY THE ONE PRETENDING HE ACTUALLY BELONGS HERE TALKING OUT OF HIS ASSHOLE SPEWING BULLSHIT HE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT. FUCKING DISGUSTING.

>>686108543
don't get out much, huh champ?

>>686108391
>>686108145
wow. bet you faggots have been brainwashed to be pro trans bullshit too right? you're a fucking social justice warrior who isn't welcome here. never have been welcome here.

>>686108473
fuck off newfag, 4chan was made in 2003 not 2005, implying you are an oldfag when you clearly weren't
also since i have been lurking here since 2004, before the servers went down when moot was still a huge faggot and forgot to pay the hosting bills ontime
try and tell me im retarded and thinks 4chan was made in 2005
>retards trying to call others retards

OP must've gotten caught, cause this thread is ruined.

>>686108690
>pro trans bullshit too right?
bruh the demo for this website is early 20s, no job, living home with parents, white, fuck trannies
you mad motherfucker

>>686108145
/b/ was like the comedian from Watchmen

Now everything is taken too seriously and the racism and hate is real, no longer satire with 0 fucks given.. instead, a platform for hate and propaganda

ITT
butthurt newfriends claiming to be oldfriends
also niggers


i'm outta here

>>686108690
if you even cared, im actually quite against third wave campus feminism and second wave transgenderism

>>686108843
>trying this hard to troll

dude, no one can be this retarded. 1/10 fail troll.

>>686109081
you are a 10/10 nigger

>>686108843
/b/ was 2005.

>>686108856
No, that is newfaggots. Trans threads were never commonly posted till around 2010. No one here agreed with them you braindead cunt.

>>686108843
>forgot to pay
>one time
>one
fuck back to project chanology new faggot

>>686107866
>>686107877
>>686107912
>>686108022
>>686108131
>>686108145
>>686108391
>>686108435
>>686108473
>>686108543
>>686108674
>>686108690
>>686108843
>>686108856
>>686108867
>>686109041
>>686109081
>>686109124
>>686109125

All of you are a bunch of newfags

>>686109194
where in my post did i say i agreed with them? you are fucking dumb and should get out of your moms basement and move onto better things you sad pathetic piece of shit

Did OP get caught? Finish the story plz

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these fucking niggers are probably the same leftists that are holding anti trump protesters wearing gay fucks marx's.

>>686109285
He said on time not one time kek

>>686105490
Why the hell would you break into someones place without a fucking gun nigger? Not that I know about it...

>>686109476
OP is a nigger, end of story.

>>686109506
your one and only post in this thread, and thats what you contributed?

>>686109347
by trying to claim that people on /b/ are a majority of those who are into it when they have never been previously.

>>686105944
Obey the dubs

>>686109125
/b/ was literally the first forum made, before all of all the other retarded forums like /r9k/ and /x/ and /soc/, when moot first migrated from admin to running his own imageboard, in 2003. if you were actually around then you'd know more

>>686109608
here let me clarify
i couldint give less of a fuck about trannies, but i also believe that the minority shouldint dictate how the majority live
also you are a dumb cunt

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>>686109770
pic related its you.

>>686109867
best first post in the whole thread

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>>686109958
heres you

>>686109958
>having that picture saved on your comp
kek

>>686105708
You broke in, now break out.

>>686110169
>not having a reaction folder

are you new?

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>anyone actually believing this absolute bs

>>686106457
GL OP D:

>>686110088
I think you accidentally posted a 'selfie'.
Might wanna delete it before anyone see's.

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>>686110326
>being a 30 year old virgin living with his mom
>masturbating to loli and traps on the regular
>the sad decrepit state of your life

>>686110483
You do what?

I hope you have some sort of job at that age.

Also, that's fucking disgusting. Why the fuck would you fap to traps?

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>>686110483

>>686110326
>>686110483
Holy shit, even with your ages combined you should still banned.

This discussion forum is now used as evidence in arresting 'J. Edward'.
Every submitted comment will be used against him in the court of law.

>>686107633

The fact you had to quote that means that you're a naive imbecile yourself

>>686110542
you are pretty dim m8

>>686110782
He didn't even steal anything. What's that 18 months? Also I'd plead mental retardation in his case

>>686106655
>waaaah he called my shitty thread shitty wahhhhh

>>686110782
hes guilty
he did it for crack cocaine


>"Discussion" kek

>>686110959
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>686111137
fuckface, first take a big step back and literally fuck your own face. i dont know what kind of pan pacific power play bullshit you're trying to pull here jack but /b/ is my territory. so whatever you think you better think again otherwise im gonna have to head down there and i will rain down an ungodly fucking firestrom upon you. you're gonna have to call the united nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. i am talking scorched earth motherfucker, i will massacre you, i will fuck you up.

>>686110782
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK4XhR0lYlE

>>686111301
Tropic thunder was a terrible movie

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>>686105350

>>686105614
Fuckin golden

>>686111516
consider suicide

>>686111137
Why is it that you demand I tell you what I had said when it is written in the text of the post number you quoted? Can you not read? And I am not a bitch, I have a girlfriend and I treat her well. I don’t believe in fighting, so you being in the Navy Seals is a characteristic I deem unimportant. Obviously your ego is more important than your being, since you keep track of rough estimates of your psychotic rampage victims to later relay to strangers. I am assuming you mean guerrilla warfare. Since gorilla warfare is more of a comedic thought I just conjured in my head. In light of your apparent illiteracy, I can’t help but ask, how do you go about wiping my existence of the face of the Earth if you can’t spell? In your cutesy jetliner armed with tittie missiles? Explain the physics of a missile to me in clear detail, from the air it soars through to the mechanisms of triggering the explosion. You know about as much as your literacy. Go ahead page your secret spies for duty, it will be a lost mission because my data is completely secure. I’m hidden behind the curtains of the internet. If you can be anywhere, anytime, I expect you in your goofy jetliner and your fellow spies at my door in 3, 2, 1…oh sorry. Nothing. You call my life sad when your life is just one giant exaggeration: inflating your ego to ethereal heights by making assumptions about people that aren’t true as a means of intimidation (comedic intimidation, might I add) and putting people down left, right and centre. Your the guy who fronts the virility online to make up for that which you lack in person.

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>>686111643
>>686111664

Is this the part where we spontaneously kiss and confess our long lasting love for each other?

>>686111855
The most muscular parts on their bodies are their fingers. I bet they give amazing handjobs

legend says, if you're very quiet on the night of the full moon, you can still hear OPs voice..
"....I'm a fucking faaaggggooottt....."

My family members wouldn't leave the room until they found out what happened to OP

>>686105350
Go under the bed like you did last time you made this thread

>>686106817
Fake and gay

>>686111664

Dude, take your newfag ass off of 4Chan or at least stop talking until you've lurked more

>>686111137
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>686107360
This is exactly what happens