Let me doge lick up my jizz.

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Came in my mouth with a highlighter in my ass.

>>685990140
Top kek

>>685989814
Tried to feel the knock and cum feeling now very nicely, yes?

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>>685989814
I slathers a DS stylus in baby lotion and shoved it down my dickhole.

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>in bathroom with morning wood pissing
>dribble of last couple drops and flop the shlop around a little bit
>notice Christmas cactus on back of toilet
>for some fucking reason I'd though it would be a good idea to slap my meat strap on it a couple of times.
>now the head of my dick looks like a plucked porcupine.

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>>685990373

fucked a crossdresser from craigslist.

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>came on own face
>hornyness subsides
>bigmistake.jpeg
>intense regret
>'why did I do this?'
am I gay now?

>>685989814
Had sex in the missonary position for the sole purpose of proceartion

>>685990948
Yea

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>>685990980
you sick fuck.

>>685989814
Jacked off with slices of ham.

>>685990373
What the fuck

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>>685991313
Story?

>>685990980
FUCKING MONSTER

Skype sex with girl. She thinks it would be hot to see me eat my own cum. Get super horny and all into it. After I came, lost all interest and go back to normal. Felt I had to do it so she could finish. Tasted, then immediately disconnected. Hung head in shame.

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Carved a buttplug out of a potato and tried to shove it up my ass using moisturizer as lube. It didn't work.

>>685990948
>constantly get the urge to eat my own load, other gay shit
>always smarten up as the urge to bust builds
>never follow through on any of the horny thoughts

feels good to not be a disgusting degenerate who nuts on his face, eats it up and jams sharpies and stuff up his shitter

>>685989814
I fucked a really skanky girl with no rubber. Got chlamydia. The really stupid thing is I did the same thing a few months later with the same skank. She was an amazing fuck though.

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>>685991667
Oh shit nigger, that made my day

>>685990625
Same.
>>685991313
And then had the dog lick it?

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Jacked off in a graveyard. Still ashamed.

>>685991667
Starchy

Let's see...
Shoved sharpies up my ass
Shoved a thermomether up my ass
Shoved a hairbrush handle up my ass
Shoved a tall shot-glass up my ass
Fisted myself
>Still consider myself hetero

>>685991990
Are you me? Did the same fucking thing. Except the girl wasn't an amazing fuck. Just wanted to get my rocks off

came in both my eyes.

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>>685991667
kek

I shoved my dick in a lamp and got a blister on my tip for a month

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>>685992351
Mfw when ive done all of that

>>685992523
the brick tamland method

Bought some attachments and vac-u-lock dildos to attach to my reciprocating saw and used it on myself.

>>685990373
Same

>>685989814
suck my friend's dick

>>685989814
Downloaded a questionable torrent. Im scared that theyre comming for me.

fucked my 3 doggos
2 males
1 female

this was lon ago, they are all dead now.

>>685992198
i'd love to fuck a goth qt in a graveyard

>>685992166
nice, glad at least someone did it. heh.
They were actually really nice, and I'm pretty open minded, but i've never experienced such disgust with myself as i did immediately after i came. Luckily they were clearly used to "straight" guys feeling like that after. Still no plans to do that shit again.

>>685992609
The what?

When i was 13 or 14 I used to go to the bathroom at church during the service for a quick fap. Came back from bathroom with a weird feeling that everybody knew what I was doing.

>>685991641
This is my issue with all porn comics: right after the guy jizzes, he's horny and ready to go. REFRACTORY PERIOD DOESN'T EXIST IN PORN.

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Went out to get a hooker, she bait and switched. She was 56 and nasty, got a handy and left.

>>685992731
Are you male or female?

>>685992544
Why a thermometer? That's a random thing to shove up one's ass

>>685990356

Yes friend

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>>685992739

>>685992892
Feelsgoodman.jpeg

>>685992880

>male

>>685992929
Kek

>>685993008
Story?

>>685992754
Jesus knew what you were doing.

>>685991990
I had that happen with some older woman i met online years ago. Got there, it felt sketchy, she wasn't that cute, went with it anyhow because horny, and noticed right after cumming that the condom had fallen off.
She freaked out about getting cum in here, i left and got to enjoy chlamydia later. That sucked and was really fucking embarassing.
Not to anyone having weird casual fuck meetups: bring your own condoms and don't rely on some weird slut like i did.

murdered an animal

>>685990980

You disgusting pervert

>>685992702
Share?

>>685993312
na dont feel like looking for a proxy that works. It was Siberian Mouse videos. I was just looking for the kissing video, didn't know there was gonna be penetration. Deleated the torrent but not the files.

>>685993252
>Story?

>>685991990
Same thing here, but genital warts.
Would fuck her again.
And again.

Found girl on craigslist who was DTF. Get there, realized right away that it was a dude in drag. "She" cooked me burritos, gave me 2 blowjobs, then we played PS2 together. Not a bad night, never saw "her" again.

Got married... repeatedly.

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>>685990373

>>685992754
Kek

>>685992523
Woah, you really love lamp.

>>685992340
Kek
Underrated post

>>685993648
Kek

>>685992781
You can train man, my refractory period is about 30 seconds now. If you're gonna be wanking that much might as well get a stopwatch and train that cock.

Fucked a watermelon

>>685990470
No way motherfucker post pic

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>>685989814
Made out with a 4/10 in the hopes of getting some.
Didn't happen tho

>>685994070
How do you train when the desire leaks out with the rest of what comes out of my dick?

>>685993742

lol

>>685990980
YOU FILTHY DEVIANT PIECE OF SHIT, YOU'RE WHAT'S WRONG MY MUH MERICA

>>685993682
haha, that's not that terrible.
I don't understand the "tricking dudes into coming over" thing. It would seem like they would get plenty of guys on craigslist even by being honest. I guess it's a turn on to lure straight guys maybe? I suppose I'm answering my own question.

Had my dick bleed inside some chick.

>>685993252
>implying killing an animal is murder

Contemplated having sex with a black chick.

Glad I jerked off instead

>>685989814
I wan to fuck my ass but i don't have dildo lube or condoms what do?

>>685994244
Waitta beat me over the head with that joke
>summer is here

>>685993610
Was trying to remove sexual urges from my life, no fap/ no looking at porn all day for several months; had a cat, one day was petting cat, cat was purring on my lap, boner rips through my pants and flung the cat into the wall with the force of a car crash.
>cat is dead
have sad wank in tub

>>685994324
Yeah, I don't regret it. I just don't tell anyone. Honestly if he would have just said he was a dude that wanted to give a BJ, cook me dinner and play vidya I'd still have come over.

>>685994645
Cool story bro

Fell in love....

>>685994631
buy dildo, lube and condoms?

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>>685990373
Nice

>>685991667
Are you me? I've also fell asleep with my laptop open on a search for bestiality. Woke up to find it shut and moved. [spoiler]I live with my parents

>>685995081
Fuck me.

>>685995081
Kek

Was going through a weird goth phase and shagged my girlfriend in a few different cemeteries, didn't feel weird then but oh god does it feel weird now

Shoved hot glue stick into my dickhole, hurt my prostate.

>>685995486
Ow

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>>685995555
Quads

>>685995555
this is true, took a week before i could piss right

>>685995442
Fucking normie.

>>685995810
Reeeeee normies

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>>685989814
Ate my own cum and it made me so horny I came again.

>>685995810
hahaha phases make you do weird shit man

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>>685994645
My hero

Ex girl had a blood fetish so I let her try it on me, so we're getting into it and out comes the razor and before I know it she's carving into my chest and moving in to lick the blood, instinctively punched her out cold and needless to say we don't date anymore, miss her cooking tho

>>685995988
would tell you to kill yourself...

>>685995988
Why some many cum eaters in this thread

>>685989814
fapped while driving home , i didn't have any napkins

>>685996388
Its /b/ what do u expect

>>685996388
/fit/iziens got lost. They all do it for the gains.

>>685996388
>4chan is full of faggits now

>>685996499
True,also checkem

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>>685996480

>>685991445
He took slices of ham. And jerked off with them.

tried to light up 3 candles in my ass

>>685994263
Cum hands free

>>685994828
yeah i can't do that anything actually useful?

I also once jerked off onto a peanut butter sandwich and ate it. I regretted it after the first bite.

>>685996300
what did she say?

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Took my young co-workers snot filled tissues out of the garbage can and used her snot as lube to jerk my dick.

>>685997184
Serves you right

Bumparu

>>685992702
Booooooo

>>685990980
you are the cancer in this world

>>685997170
Hit her so hard she's a permanent helmet wearing drooling tard bucket now.... so something along the lines of, "hurrrugghh, pppiiieeeeeas."

I've used raw meats to fuck on numerous occasions actually did it last night kek

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>>685997366

Fucked a chick in the ass using her vomit as lube.

>>685997586
Ment for>>685997333

>>685990980
>this meme
Kill yourself, redditor.

>>685989814

Got married

>>685997723
Kek

>>685997723
Top zoz

>>685997333
Nice trips my dude, and it was weird once she came around she just got all pissed off and let loose at me on a bunch of other shit so I left came back the next day to get my shit and that was it, was weirdly quick

>>685994828
use vegetables

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>>685995081
When I was 15 I searched up "Plump Horse Balls" on my ipad and I fell asleep. When I woke up and went downstairs the morning after I found my dad using the ipad and eating oatmeal. Never mentioned it once.

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>>685994112
just saw this in an other thread.
Never heard of watermelon fucking in my life, then this shit goes down....

>>685989814
fucked my bed
and couch
dont ask

Kissed a girl who just went ass to mouth.

>>685998008
Top kek

>>685998101
Story please?

>>685993099

>i was like 16 or 17 horny as fuck
>some friends got a zoo video tape
>one home alone i was like
>fuck it lets try
>fucked one male doggo
>let it fuck me

Other day

>again home alone
>horny
>decided 2 mate 2 doggos
>1 male
>1 female
>male is female's father
>so basically doggo incest
>once knotted
>i fucked female doggo in the ass
>cumbuckets.exe
>they lasted much more time knotted
>diamonds again
>ther i go with the male doggo anus
>lots of

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Let a 12 year old ride my back. Was constantly groping her ass while spreading her butt cheeks

Wrapped two fruit roll ups around my cock and jerked off with them and then ate them. Actually tasted really good.

>>685994070
This

I've trained so I don't go flaccid after I cum. I can go steady for several loads, usually 3 or 4 loads, before I give out.

Had an ex who used to play with it for roughly an hour and a half, just so she could drain me.

>>685990040
Andrew?

>>685998265
cont

>lots of doggo shit but who cares
>came again
>fucking messy
>doggos came
>came buckets
>lick that
>tastes horrible
>but meh

Thats it.

>>685997927
Dont use potatoes

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>>685998364
Was she hot?

fucked myself with a plunger while showering. then after a while when ass was spread wide enough i put a big dick dildo in my ass with a suck cup which i put on the tiles. felt like a bitch getting fucked. nice cum.

>>685998265
faggot

>>685998244
not much story except for me being tired, horny, in my bed and i ending up rubbing my dick against it until i came
same with the couch

>>685998364
how old where you?

Sucked my own dick.
Fucked a female dog
Get fucked by male dog
Suck off male dog
Let gay friend break his dry spell with my ass
Felt up a sleeping 14yr old while masturbating.
Fist my ass
Largest dildo I could buy at adult store up pooper.
Ass to mouth said dildo
Some other things.

>Took drunk girl home.
>Stumbling black out drunk girl
>She insists i go to bed with her
>For snuggles
>pass out and wake up hard as fuck
>her legs are spread
>i start light petting and she moans
>Figure fuck it
>get my hands down her pants, finger her tight pussy
> rub her assholes
> eventually take off her pants
> very light resistance and occasional no's from her blackout self
> i get her pants off
> lick her pussy for a good 10 minutes
> it tastes like heaven
> penis harder than diamonds
> position myself for penetration
> definite resistance. Even blackout she still don't want my d.
>feelsbad.jpg
> reposition and eat her ass for another 10 minutes
> nothing sweeter
> still doesn't want my dick
> figure fuck it
> jack off and cum.
> all over her sheets
> shits everywhere. Instant regret.
> roll off bed, sleep on floor.
> smoke and chill in the morning, she's clueless
> rub her back cause she's sores af from being blackout retarded
> leave wondering if I'm a bad person
> still wonder

>>685998681
he was 27
said in a different thread

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>>685998118
you never go ass to mouth

>>685997927
what would i use for lube? and is it ok without a condom?

>>685998705
Kek

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>>685992892
It's hot as fuck

>>685997688
Ummm this has been a 4Chan meme since at least 2006....welcome newfriend.

Checkem

>>685998705
you should go to arab countries and say you did that

>>685998975
Kek implying goatfuckers would care

I used to be able to suck my own dick before I got fat. I never came in my mouth shit killed my back.

Inserted a lot of things up my ass, including a bunch of marbles and a deodorant can, tried to insert something in my pisshole, acted like a submissive sissy in a stranger chat once.

>>685998944
No it's not. It's 98.6 degrees F

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>11ish years old
>started puberty
>was curious about myself
>started shoving all sorts of things in my rear
>first my fingers
>then pencils
>then my toothbrush
>needed to go bigger
>shoved a big baking spoon in my butt
>needed that extra girth
>dedicated a night to myself to shove the new toilet plunger up my ass
>felt preddy gud
>went to far and slipped
>plunger shot right up and sliced my rectum
>internally bled for weeks
>never felt such pain, envied death
>couldnt tell my parents or anyone
>after a while it stopped
>one day my mom noticed my underpants were stained in blood
>she freaked out and wanted to know what happened
>Lied
>said the nice man (our good neighbor) raped me
>he's been in prison for almost 13 years now
>never told anyone up until now
>lol

took a stuffed animal and fucked it between its legs and on its stomach
dick started bleeding on it
had to wash the blood off real fast

>>685998843
i usually used saliva to get it lubed up. ideally u put a condom over your veggy dildo its safe and clean. but i recommend u to buy some real toys and real lube since imo its definitely an upgrade to all the improvised toys.

Went for a few beers after the last day of college with a mate, was a hot day and the beers got to me. Got home about 4pm proceeded to add peanut butter to my anus so my dog could rim me while i fapped. Probably the worst thing i've ever done

>>685999293
I masturbated with a grinding machine too (without the sandpaper obv)

>>685997022
Thanks

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>>685999349

Shoved my girlfriend's toothbrush up my butt

>>685998265
>>let it fuck me
just that easy? like you just bent over, and it went for the pooper?

>>685999364
You're a piece of shit.

>>685999517
oh so don't do it without a condom?

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>>685999962
Bristle side first??

>>685999364
Kill yourself queer

>>685999364
Post a picture of you and tell me which state you are in i'm going to beat the fuck out of you

>>685997688

How new can a faggot be?

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>stuck my dick in a jar of peaches
>sister ate the peaches
fuck

>>685991667
shit I've done the exact same thing but it worked

>>686000232
ive done it several times without a condom. i always really took care of being hygenic and careful where to put it. i never got any infection or anything but it is definitely safer and cleaner with a condom. depends on how u handle the whole procedure.
havent u ever put something in your ass before?

I shoved a drumstick up my ass.

put a barbie in my butt

>>685999082
>Let gay friend break his dry spell with my ass

>>686000984
O sorry i didnt read it

Put 8 inch chunk of bologna in microwave when I worked at a deli. warmed it up 5 minutes. sliced hole for fucking. Brought it in the walk in. shove dick in hole. ouchy.

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>>685990620
>>685991317
>>685993749
>doesn't know sounding's moderately popular
Summertime huh?

>>685998364
I have something like this

>be 14
>oldest boy out of all the family
>all the fucking girls think its the funniest shit to tackle me and shit
>always felt the asses of the ones that were like 14+

good shit fam

>>686000657
did you cum in them?

>>685999962
Kek

>>686000464
>>686000596
>>686000176
Fuckin newfags can't tell bait from shit

>>685990980

That's fucking gay, anon.

>>685999364
topkek

>>686000789
no i haven't

>>686001539
Sorry

>>685999364
wow holy fuck make a movie

>>685997643

i approve

>>686001589
not recommended

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>>685992340
megakek

>>686001505
>bait
it's not you idiot shit like that happens all the time

>>686001736
why?

>>686000789
(not op) I like to fuck my ass with big objects, the last thing I tried is a coke can with a bullet like cap on it, but I can't manage to take it, it's too big. How can I do?

>>686001736
why not? when soloing, having enough time and wanting to put the effort it takes in it, then its great and give bonus prime orgasms

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i'm going to get fit and cosplay as miku and possibly whore myself out

Fucked my couch

>>685999364

You're a fucking scumbag, anon.

I hope you get stomach cancer.

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>>685990373

>>686001925
i dont know try to carefully stretch the pooper. it takes some time i guess

>>686001820
You honestly believe something like this happened and you're taking it from someone on 4chan who was solely the person who got the neighbor put in prison. Presumably without trial... Nah

>>686002076
Story?

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>>686001991
also leek dildos

>>686002265
decently common fleshlight hack

>>685992198
Why? That's more play then those dead people have had in a long time, I'm sure they are thankful of your efforts

>>685992544
>mfw when

>>685989814
>live with girlfriend and her mom
>girlfriend at work
>too horny to live
>walk right up to her mom naked and just say let's fuck
>bitch runs out of appartment and calls gf
>just deny deny deny
>blamed her "dillusions" on her crazy medication
Got away and am engaged to an entirely differnt chick now

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>>686001213
holy fucking shit man why? you get burns?

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>Browsed /b/ a long while back
>Rolled in a faproulette thread
>Numbers decided the porn to watch
>Got "hypnosis porn"
>Searched that shit on pornhub
>Was some really gay sissy shit with tons of flashing lights, music and repeated words like: "sissy faggot", "you love to suck cock", "suck on that black cock faggot"

>TL;DR I fucking unplugged my headphones accidentally and my sister heard a bit of it

> Never talked about it