>>685945196
My laptop, wireless mouse or my phone. Guess I'm pretty fucked. Maybe try to knock the fella out with my laptop.

>>685945196
XD-45 tactical on my desk.

>>685945196

USP .40 S&W next to my keyboard.

I'll be fine.

>>685945355

This guy has the right idea as well.

Got a knife, some spray and a lighter and in my closet a machete...I'm good

>>685945196
Got a guitar within reach, so at least I have something to clubber it with

Razer naga, I didn't want this piece of shit mouse anyway

>>685945355
>XD-45 tactical
>XD
faggot

Bowl of chinese food. Gotta hope hes alergic to peanuts

28inch pc monitor with some metal attached

toilet paper

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Im fucked big time

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Uh

Guitar,ukulele,saxophone,cider bottle, record player, bottle opener with a wee knife. Not that bad

I've got couple of knives under my table, I'll be allright.

>Glock 19
Ok

I have a coffee cup. I'm a pretty good fighter I think I can manage.

>>685945196
Depends upon which conventions of which zombie universe we are dealing with. Need more information about the zombie

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>>685945474

USPfag here, a gun is a gun /b/ro. Even a hi-point is better than /noguns/. If it flings lead, it's alright.

>>685945196
dude... we all sit on a chair right?
Fucking easy

A packet of toilet paper, a scale, hairdryer, can of cream, and a small garbage can

>>685945196
Luckily for me, my dick is already in my hand.

>>685946018
Kek

HOLD THE DOOR

>>685945858
Let's make it fun and say the 28 days later virus.

>>685945474
The gun is called an XD 45 tactical retard

Looks like im blowing some wicked vape to vanish like a ninja. Should give me enough time to grab my fedora before hoofing it out of the house.

A big ass knife, guess i'm good.

>>685945858
In the time it's taken for you to ask questions you've had your face chewed off. Congrats

>>685945196
Polystyrene cup

>fucked

>>685945474
I am not sure if this is bait or you're just retarded.

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Introduce him tto chicken if not work then BJJ

the XD-45 Tactical also doubles as a large heavy object to bludgeon someone with

>>685945196
a heavy sharp sword. not fucked in the slightest!

>>685947077
Also a pile of fedoras.

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>rolling

>hard mode
Make a story out of your roll

Well, currently at arm's length is my dick, so I'd say I'm pretty...fucked.

>>685945196
>In work toilet
>Trousers down
>Nothing not bolted down within reach besides phone.
I'd die the shittest death

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>>685945196
Lol a bigass 8'' bowie knife similar to pic.

>>685947327
Rollerino

>>685947327

>MP5
>Sleeping bags and pillows
>girl scout
>car
>scream


>drive around with scout
>get bored
>lay out nice bedding outdoors
>rape
>she screams, attracts zombies
>both eaten by zombies.

RIP

>>685947327
Rolling.

>>685947327

rolln

>>685947327
Fuck it I'l roll

carton of soy milk

well

big swiss army knife and a pair of scissors

>>685945196
12 pound six-string bass made of walnut...
I got this

I'm in the bathroom so a plunger.

>>685947327

r-r-rollannn

>>685945196
i only have two things that would be effective, a vacuum cleaner and a keyboard.
but i think it would be pretty safe considered that i have a keyboard

>>685945196
Pretty set, got most of my knives in my desk drawer.

>>685947327
rolll

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I think I'm well protected lol..

24karat gold plated 1911

>>685945196
I got a katana and a fedora at arms length

Either a jugg made of glass, or a fork.. the hell ?

>>685947327
roll

>>685945196
I dunno, this mic looks pretty heavy

2 pens, 0.5 liter glass of water.
If I step away from door and zombie (which would be the smart choice) I could grab one of 5 wooden rods which can be used for impaling, one of 15 pens, scissors, one of 2 knives, one of 5 or 6 heavt stones, one of 4 wooden staves (2 of them being heavier and sturdier), heavy flowerpot, even ehavier encyclopedias.
That's about it

>>685945196
I'm in my bathroom/laundry room... plunger! Super fucked though

>>685945196
Dominos pizza box to my right

>>685947327
ro2l

>>685947327

roll

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>>685945196
>grab something that's...arms length
>grab my dick
>beat it to death

>mfw

>>685945474
>>XD
>faggot


>what is the springfield armory XD-series pistol line
>what is .45ACP

>>685945196
muh dick

>>685947327
rell

>>685947327
rowilin

>>685948209
>what is troll
>what is /b/
>what is newfag

>>685947327
Rollin

How about front kick then go and take a weapon come on its just one zombie

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>A zombie walks through your door!!!

HODOR!

>>685945196
eyeglass cleaner. lmao. somewhat fucked

Got a knife, axe, and a lighter in my bag. Think I'm good.

>>685945196
Got a sturdy wooden chair.
I'm good.

>>685945196
completely fucked
all i have is a book with a paper thin cover

Ps4 controller or gagball. Pretty fucked

>>685947327
rolling

>>685947327
roll

>>685948526
It's a 28 days later zombie. Not some lil waking dead birch.

>>685947327
rollin

>>685947327
Rollerino

>>685947327
Will do

>>685945196
Got my car's steering wheel lock, so that's nice and heavy, and in case I can't reach that immediately I have a fuckton of lighters and my deodorant

>>685948609
Underrated post

>>685945196
I hope a field hockey stick is good enough to crush his head

>>685947327

>>685947327
rell

>>685947327
Rolling

>>685945196
not that fucked. Just finished cleaning my AR15, It's standing next to my desk. with a 40rd magazine tucked into the bed directly behind me, along with a 9mm Taurus G2 Pro.

I feel bad for the EuroCucks.

Rerolll

>>685947300
not all people with swords like fedoras. whats next gonna assume im a late 20's neck bearded fat fucker.

these cocksuckers pose with there flimsy blunt pile of shit replicas, and have never trained so they don't know how to use a sword ether

>>685945196
Umbrella

Throw a coffee mug and hope for the best

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>>685945196
Thought I was fucked, then I noticed my trusty spear!

>>685945196
i got a spoon

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>Something within an arms lenght
>Looks around
>Finds a hoover under the desk
>"Why not?"
>mfw

Scottish Dirk and my arming sword, and a heavy-ass tome on Medieval medicine. Assuming it's just the one, I'm fine.

>>685945474
kek

>>685947327
rollinn

>>685947327
rollz

>>685950041
90, come at ne bras

>>685946183
The worst type...

LOL no shit about a 20 pound rock. Not terribly I guess.

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I have a fleshhlight, two altoids mints and a bottle of coconut lotion. I think I'll make it work, somehow.

>>685947327
rollson

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>>685949998
survavial chance -30%

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>>685949837
>wander around with nothing but my Japanese love pillow and a fingerbox
>see swole SWAT zombie
>throw finger box to distract it
>pick up gun it leaves behind
>pull trigger
>bullets spray everywhere
>6 million screaming zombies come sprinting at me
>qt laughs at me as I'm eaten, drives away on my ATV with my fingerbox and the Chad SWAT zombie to have crazy zombie sex

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Laptop, pair of scissors, a coffee pot, I have a minifridge I could lift up and and use to smash in to the zombie... and a bunch of pens I guess.

>>685947327
Roll

>>685947327
Rolling

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Fuck

>>685945196
>You only have time to grab something that's at arms length.
>How fucked are you?

My AR-15. Goodbye, Zombie scum. If it's a female, can I find a hole and fuck her?

>>685947327
>spit not being the most dangerous zombie trait

>>685947327

roll

>>685947327
Roll

>>685948800
Why do you have an Axe in arms reach?

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a fire poker woo gg

Bottle of vodka

>>685950541
wait you dont?

>>685950541
I mean Axe deo.

>>685947327
Roll

just pickup my fucking chair and smash its skull in with it

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>>685945196
I'm at my desk. I'm good.

>>685945196
Shotgun that I was cleaning. Unloaded but I could bludgeon the bastard and go grab shells.

or 1 of those $8 ikea tables
>>685950916

lava lamp fucked..

>>685945196
My wife.

Then I'd grab the cheetos and make a break for it

>>685945196
I smash his fucking brains with my speakers, they weight 30kg each.

>>685945196
.38 revolver and a mag for my AK that is a step away. I win.

I have the bible. GOD will destroy this dead fucker for me.

All I need a do is pray to the lord.

>>685945196
Very

>>685945474
XD

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Well fuck me lol

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>>685950320
>>685947327
I recently purchased an AA-12 (30% SC) knowing full well the apocalypse was upon us if Trump became president. Shortly after he was sworn it.. it became reality. Luckily I was prepared for this day and also snagged a suit of Riot Armor (55% SC) to shield me from the coming storm. When the zombies came the neighborhood Girl Scout (75% SC) had come to sell me cookies. As I was handing the girl some $240 I noticed a walker creep up behind, this would stun most, they would ask "oh my lord, do you need help?" but not me because I knew this day would come. I quickly grabbed the Girl Scout and threw her in my Compact Car (105% SC). In a sudden burst of speed the walker came hurling towards us, I let go of the Girl Scout and bashed the zombie in the head with the butt of my AA-12. However it appeared the zombie had an incredibly Thick Skull (95% SC) and soon shrugged off the damage. Not thick enough to shrug off a shell from close range though, I blew its head and some of its torso off with the AA-12. As we make it to safety in the nearest anti-nuclear bunker you can hear in the distance
"But I poop from there"
"Not today you don't"
I was prepared for this day

My 14 inch multipurpouse dildo

I've got a plunger, those zombies are going to eat my dump!

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>>685951712
You're not the only one fucked

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about 2 feet to my right

>Not having an AK47 and an RPG at arms length at all times
Allahu akbar

Baby or baseball bat. Think I'll do ok.

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I think Im good

>>685947327
rollingo

I happen to be laying in bed, so not fucked at all. Mossberg 590a1 at bedside, Beretta 9mm in night stand.

>>685947327
let's see

A nigger and no door to protec me

>>685952841
Liar, you dont own firearms by your bedside you have only a bag of cheetos

.38S&W on my desk. Pretty damn good.

>>685947327
roll

>>685945196
Closest to me is the emergency exit from my house.

>>685945474
Summer fag

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Das unt happy fun times!

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>>685952952
Easy livins

Bass box cutter lamp ka bar straight blade few other things I'm kinda okay

>zombie breaks through door
>oh shut.exe
>realise comp next to door
>Have computer open to /b/
>zombie sees sheer faggotry a day kills itself
> ???????
>profit

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>>685952841

>>685947327
roll

>>685947327
gay

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That's it I just realised am fucked buying one of these

I'll have to beat the fucker to death with a candle I guess. Good thing its heavy.

>>685945196
I have an axe one step away.

>>685947327
rollin

Deez nuts

Nuff said

>>685945196
I have Arya Stark's sword needle on my desk so I'd maybe be OK since its not made to use as a weapon.

>>685945196
scissors or knife made out of elephant tooth, which one would /b/ pick?

>>685947327
Rolly polly

Empty cup, empty whiskey bottle, empty beer bottle, scissors.
I might be alright

>>685947327
rolling for this shit

>>685955233
forgot to say, I'd go for the scissors because the knife is in a box and is really short.
now my plan is, jump on the other side of the bed, wait for zombie to get there and jump back again, mlg420 scissor throw headshot and if all that fails push zombie out the window and hope I don't get bit while doing it.

Just got out of the shower and am currently taking a shit. I have a towel some hair gel and I'm naked, I'm very fucked.

>>685945196
Galaxay S6 or my mouse. I guess I'm pretty fucked

>>685945196
Fucking heavy laptop, whit what I could probably smash head in. The oonly problem is that I am laying on my mattress, so have to get up for that... Chances are on my side, because I presume we are dealing here with classical slow zombie...

A dog and a fork.

>>685947327
Rollmops

>>685945196
My body is a weapon

Taking a shit so uhh toilet paper roll to the head and then it'd kill me

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>>685945196

EAT 64K's OF RAM YOU UNDEAD BASTARD!

>>685947327
roll love these

>>685947327
rollerino

>>685947327
Roll

>>685945196
there is an Indian girl right next to me I hope the zombie likes Curry.

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On the shitter and this is the closest thing other than tp. I'm so fucked!

>>685945196
Oil mini-heater not plugged in. Could easily bludgeon a zombie to death with it as long as they're not the kind that can infect with their fingernails.

>>685947327
Rollan

>>685947327
Roll reeee

>>685947327
Roll

>>685947327
Roll

I have a coffee table that I could thow at them. When they fall down I could go to my kitchen, which is seven feet away, and take a butcher's knife from the drawer.

Lying in bed with my phone. I guess I could throw my blankets over him which might buy me a few seconds to grab something usefull

>>685947327
rolo

>>685945196
ps3, i think i/m good.

I grab the door

>>685947327
rawl

>>685957163
>shotgun 20%
>flashlight 10%
>Nerd 25%
>Moped 20%
>Pin point hearing -20%
55% Total.

my cat

Got about 5 empty liquor bottles and 1 full one for tonight on my desk. Should be enough if I'm not too drunk to miss him.

>>685950131
90% alivr

>>685945196
Keyboard or my cock...

>>685947327
roll

>>685947327
Groll

Toilet paper, shieeeet ( literally )
I hope i can distract him to eat my shit while i run away with my but covered in shit.

>>685950069
>abbo detected

>>685958268
> thinks they can throw their coffee table
What are you, muscle man of the year?

>>685947327
Roll

>>685947327
Rollerino

>>685945196
A massive table made of teak, FagBook Air or a box of cigars.

>>685947327
Roll

>>685947327
rolllllll

>>685947327
Roll

>>685947327
Rollzroyze

>>685947327
roll

Well my 3 yo brother or a pillow :-/

>>685945654
A sacrifice/distraction so you can run away

>>685947327
rollorrrrr

>>685947327
roll

>>685947327
troll

>>685945196
Got my Laptop, some pillows, blankets and a glass of water. So pretty much dead.

>>685947327
rolll

>>685959666
woah, the 666 get!

>>685945196
My bong. I can either hit him or blaze with him... Hmmm.

>>685947327
roll

>>685950211
McGyver

I have a flag pole with an American flag on it... I'll take it.

>>685945196
Guitar or weights Ill be ok

>>685945474
autismo boy

At my desk at work so just the 9mm here - wearing a decent kershaw too. I'm fat with a bad back so potentially still fucked

I would start fapping, cum in his eyes and then run away while he's blind

>>685945196
ill kick it

>>685947327
rolling

>>685945196
Tomahawk. I'm good.

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>>685945196
cutlery/10

>>685959720
It is a shame that you are nearly dead according to the chart though. It needs to be updated to factor in dubs and trips.

>>685947327
Roll

>>685947327

I'm so annoyed I'm doing this bullshit

>>685945196
My door is down a narrow flight of stairs to my right. Between me and the stairs (within arms reach) is a small filing cabinet that can fit fairly easily down the stairs and is light enough for me to lift over my head and throw.

I think I'm gonna be okay.

>>685947327
Roll

>>685960447
Reroll

>>685945196
knife metal money box controller laptop im set

Hydrogen bomb under my bed. I'll be fine

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>>685945196

>>685960496
Rereroll

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>>685947327
rolling

>>685945196
Swiss army knife

>>685960561
Rerereroll

>>685947963

....why would you fake gold plate some shitty airsoft pistol?

>>685960784
Rererereroll

>>685960829
Rerererereroll

>>685948447


>I know! If I try to make fun of this guy they'll all accept me and nobody will laugh at me ever again
>uhoh...I got called on my bullshit....better claim I'm trolling!

>>685960886
Rerererererereroll

>>685959389
Playing around with well worn finger box after cleaning my M1911 as a girl scout knocks on my door. As I open I see this maimed, crazy man _sprinting_ tirelessly towards us. I pull her in, bang the door shut, sneak out back and we get on my mountain bike and get out of there. Even though she has some training with outdoors skills like living off the land, we are, at 15% probability of survival, most likely dead.

>>685960931
Rerererererererereroll

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>>685960206
Alive, bitches!
95%

>>685945196
glass rum bottle, pint glass, keys.
how fucked am i

>>685945654
Beat him with it

>>685947327
rolls

>>685961153
Sweet most likely alive

>>685947327
Roll