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>>685905854
I had sex with your mom

>>685905854
I act as an idiot on purpose.

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>>685906161
Neat

>>685906161
Terrible comebacks. Seems legit.

For a brief period of time I would make jokes about girls thinking small things were cute with one exception trying to imply I had a big dick. It's not that big and it didn't make sense and they always got weirded out so I stopped.

I'm probably the only person that never uses text speak. My grammar isn't the best but it still pisses me off even when it's my own girlfriend texting me.

>>685906609
>wanting to use text to speech feature
Holy shit that's autistic alright.

I watch anime

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>>685905854
I uee 4chan till late at night.. It's 2am..

>>685905854
I have autism and I jack off to cartoon ponies fucking. But probably the most autistic thing about me is that I go on 4chan.

i shop at hot topic

>>685905854
>I have a fart fetish
This

My bed is suspended from the ceiling. It has pulleys on it so it can go up and down.

I laugh to myself a lot at work.
Only person to do this.
Everyone thinks I'm off-center.

>>685905854
I like lesbians.

Every time i git gud with a girl i instantly sabotage myself without realizing and lose all connections.

>>685905854
I sometimes browse reddit

Most autustic thing for me that i work on a team of 5, + 2 others in a similar team / part of our little cube farm office

and they all go out to lunch without me
always have
never invite me
and i never ask to come

once i did go, and i thought it went okay, everyone kind of laughed at me and there was good discussion

i'm not sure why i wasn't ever invited again. Oh well

>>685908414
Done that before.. Too many times.

I spent the today playing warframe instead of doing anything productive at all

I regularly post /b/ material on Facebook solely to annoy /b/tards who take the rules seriously.

Eye contact is a fucking pain in the ass

>>685906161
So the most autistic thing about yourseld is that your 11?

>>685908814
>using normiebook
That's not autistic at all

I mean not really autistic but Im just fat and insecure about myself
but idk I have a hot as fuck girlfriend and i get to play music regularly so no complaints about my life aside from my self esteem issues

>>685908971
This

>>685909049
>i lie about having girlfriends on the internet.

>>685908670
Of all the games you could have played, you chose that rancid shit pile? Really, anon? Really?

>>685905854
I have a body switching fetish. Basically, my self esteem is so low I can't imagine I'm getting laid unless I'm literally someone else.

>>685909049
You got me

>>685909289
whoops meant to reply to this lol
>>685909126 guess i am autistic

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>>685905854

I like My Little Pony although if you meet me in real life I'll deny everything.

>>685909168
My video card is dying so I needed a free game that isn't demanding to kill time until my new one gets in

>>685909392
>implying I couldn't have figured that out without your explanation based on context.
Quite.

>>685908465

The smell?

>>685909538
Its been a long day

>>685909640
>excusing yourself despite me not giving a shit.

>>685906807
what you on about? text speak isn't text-to-speech.

text speak is wen ppl tlk like dis lol

>>685909428
>Knowing the name of the fucking unicorn
>bronyfaggot detected

>>685909640
not as long as your dick FAGGOT

Ever since I quit doing drugs, the only joy I get from life is flirting with women and making them like me to the point they want to date me, but I have no intention of dating them. I just like the rush of serotonin from the courting period. My girlfriend has no idea I do this.

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I'm still in love with a girl that hates me

im a grill

>>685909764
thrill of the hunt

>>685909716
Never heard it to be reffered to it like that. I always thought they'd be known solely as acronyms. Either way, yes it is annoying when it is overused/replaced by emojis.

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>>685909428
>>685909733

Technically she's an Alicorn, because she has wings and a horn.......God what am I doing with my life....

>>685909837
Well...

>>685909772
>>685909049
>>685908414
Underage

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>>685909837

>>685909872
Exactly. They try and meet up to fuck, but I'm too much of a chicken to ever actually cheat on my girlfriend. But the one I'm talking to now I'm kind of in love with.

There is a short animated series based on a comic book called The Maxx.

Recently it was released on DVD with high resolution episodes.

But they CHANGED things. Songs are changed. Sounds are changed. A couple of scenes are deleted.

I took the new, high quality episodes, and carefully spliced in audio from the old episodes. And this was not a simple task. The episodes are a different length and sometimes speed than the old episodes. I had to separate out the audio from the new episode and go through it little by little in audacity and cut and paste bits that were incorrect.

I also had to figure out how to rebuild the video bits that were cut. Luckily they did not contain highly unique scenes. They were scenes that i could copy and paste previous bits into. It's still not PERFECT, but it's DAMN close.

I replaced "I wanna marry a school bus driver" with "I wanna marry a light house keeper", and this other song which is used when The Maxx is chasing an Is down the street with the original.

My friends call it the most autistic thing i've ever done, but i had no illusions about that when i started.

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>>685909563

>>685910007
There's just no need for it in this day and age, especially when they have a full qwerty keyboard in front of them, and no character limitations.

At least in the 90s when we used old Nokias, it served a purpose - now it's just an excuse for general laziness and illiteracy.

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>>685910280

>>685908072
Didn't think it was a very common thing. Guess it's kind of nice to find someone else like me.

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>>685910139

The fact that I'm 22 is the reason it's autistic you faggot

>>685905854
> 8th
> Teacher asks what is this -> .
>I see a dot in my mind but can't get around why did he ask that question
>Don't answer
>Teacher says A DOT
>that feel of a full classroom
>12th grade (still consider myself straight)
>somehow a talk of a man fapping around the neighborhood comes up in our group.
> I say "Where?"

>>685905854
coming to these retard threads to tell you you're a retard

>>685910431
sorry those are two stories

>>685910331
Wasn't defending it's use. I was saying that I've never heard texting acronyms being referred to as "text speech"

>>685910396
Go cut yourself

>>685910350
M8... That's green text... I don't think there are many like you. You're a rare breed

>>685910549
Oh I know you weren't, I was just venting. Apologies.

Spend at least 12 hours a day on 4chan. Not even doing anything productive like learning shit on DIY or how to do math. Have been doing this for most of a decade. I'm almost literally unemployable. Even mcdonald's won't hire me and they hire felons and child molesters.

I'm still obsessed/in love with a girl I met online when I was like 15.

Every day I run through a list of my daily failures as a human being and at night I dwell on shit that shouldn't matter anymore yet I can't help but feel has shaped me into this rotten thing I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore. I broke/covered every last one in the house.


>>685909276
>>685909428

Also these apply.

>>685907091
Central time zone? Hell yeah bro, dont feel down about it but its just the fact of the time. TIme is a relevant dimensions served to us in a linear fashion for easy understanding. THere is no autism from time, there is only autism from self. You are the cancer of /b/ and it should be known from here on out. Rock Flag AND EAGLE

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>>685909276
im a bit the same. ive been fat. no one loved me. im skinny now. no one loves me. i feel the only way to get love is to be a woman so now im pursuing men and crossdressing. what a world. never thought i'd be this way.

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>>685910775
>learning on 4chan

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>>685910856
What..?

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>>685905854
I have a loli fetish, and a rape fetish, and a torture fetish, but I wouldnt classify those as "autistic", though that is probably more of a personal preference.

I actually wrote a program today to dl the content of 4chan threads so that I could DL loli at a faster rate. Its pretty nice, but I havent seen any loli threads tonight, save for the one I started.

If that isnt autistic enough, I resort to radical honesty because the handful of lies that I have been caught have scarred me beyond repair, and I literally twitch when I recall them.

I sperg when people dont use "literally" and "figuratively" correctly, or when they misuse "irony" or "pun" and will correct them in public. I explain in detail the lyrics to certain songs, or lines from poems/books, and I worship mathematics like a god. If I was ever to get a tattoo, it would be Euler's Identity.

>>685910570
It's greentext followed by "this" which means it applies to them too. Also, you'd be surprised how popular it is. Go look up a video of girls farting and see how many views it has.

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>>685910564

when I learn new information I pretend I'm in a debate or interview where this information is relevant. I use it in my debate, whereupon I obliterate my ideological adversary, winning the respect and admiration of all of those who witnessed it.

what makes it worse is that I struggle to form sentences and regularly restart my rant because I messed up

>Eye contact is painful
>I have to plan out conversations to avoid offending people
>whenever I go to a new place I have to look at, and preferably feel every thing I can in order to feel comfortable
>while I do have a choice of fashion, I mainly pick clothes for how they feel. I'm extremely sensitive to textures in general.

Why yes, I was professionally diagnosed.

>>685910920
sauce?

>>685905854
I don't have any friends and don't want any. I only want a girlfriend.

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>>685911585

>I mainly pick clothes for how they feel. I'm extremely sensitive to textures in general.

Velvet sweat suits?

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>>685911400
Ouch... i been there. I go there all the time. It hurts.

>>685911585
Samesies on the planning convos, but ive gotten decent at it.

>>685909428
I never understood why they all dont do this. I dont mean to be offensive to bronies, but I have a loli fetish, and for obvious reasons i keep it a secret. I guess i just wonder why all bronies dont feel the same way? I supposed liking underage girl horse cartoons is a little better than liking sexual misconduct with underage girl human cartoons, but it feels really closely related

I got suspended by my wrists by my best friend while he tickled my armpits and ribs. He then proceeded to take off his belt and flog me while I writhed in ticklish agony with my toes just off the floor.

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>>685912309

>>685908670
same but bf4, and jacking off all day. im 21

>>685912309
Please tell me you're a female. If not, just off yourself.

>>685911977
Actually, I hate the feel of too much velvet and silk. It tickles me, if that makes sense. A bit is fine, like boxers or something like that, but a full suit would kill me.

I prefer the feeling of fine cotton and thick leather the most.

I regularly jack off to my 4th grade teacher's armpits.

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I've got POCD and Anxiety and it fucking sucks

>>685908971

This, for more than 50% of the time I've been conversing in my life

>>685905854
When my anxiety gets bad and I become nervous, my facial expression becomes a grimace. I smile uncontrollably when I'm nervous, and even more so when people are watching.

>>685912804
Pics

>>685912804
I- I think you win.

>>685905854
I jack off 21 times a week

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>>685909428
>>685912147

>why don't bronies keep it a secret.

Because some of us are more autistic than others. The ones who go to conventions are on the high end of the autism scale while many of the bronies on 4chin actually aren't as far gone and isolate their autism to the internet.

I for example would be embarrassed as fuck to admit I like ponies publicly because my autism is somewhat mild and I'm not completely incapable of social interaction with normies.

The ones who publicly run around proclaiming their love of ponies do it because they're so socially awkward that they have no hope of making friends unless they join an outsider clic' like the bronies where in they can associate with other people as awkward as themselves.....likewise since they are so socially clueless they feel little to no embarrassment about publicly professing their enjoyment of a little girl's cartoon about rainbow colored magic horses.

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>83 replies, 43 posters
>Ive posted like 5 times.
>lurkers afoot

>>685912147
I'm really good at planning conversation now. As per eye contact, smartphones are a godsend at least when it comes to casual convos. I'll just act like I'm doing something on the phone while talking at the same time.

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>>685913234

>>685905854
4chan is what i have instead of friends.

>>685913175
clique*, and ty for the reply, that is actually rather enlightening. There was a guy who was in my CS classes who wears an MLP hoody everyday, and you just described him in vivid detail

I jack off to hentai. Almost every single genre of it, too.

>>685908282
That's fucking sick as tits yo

>>685910775
you inspired me. goodbye 4chan

>>685906492
It really was autisitc, because she ugly bro

>kek

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I don't like people to touch me, and if I'm out somewhere and someone engages me in direct conversation I back away from them slowly the whole time they are talking.

>>685908282
is this a scorn on your social life where you live? how is this embarrassing?

>>685913159
>21 times per week
Yeah, fuckin autistic that you don't pleasure yourself more

>>685908282
>>685913475
sick, but also a little strange. Marilyn Manson's keyboardist had a similar setup for his yamaha (or whathaveyou). Then again, Marilyn Manson was molested to the point of insanity and may have fucked animals, according to the synopsis of his memoir (which is admittedly vague)

Animu/3d girls turn me on more than real girls

I will literally spend upwards of a couple hours making a skyrim/sims porn movie

I watch MLP.

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>>685913529
You really think that's humorous... GL.

>>685908344
hahaha what a thought they must be idiots
>at work
>new guy sets up his shit in the corner
>/b/ bookmarked
>round the corner
>hear a quiet chuckling
>literally just fucking new guy
>befriend him so i wont be one of his victims

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>>685909772
Fuck I thought I was the only one with this prolem

>>685913048
self love/confidence is the difference maker there.

>>685913159
Not autistic, thats probably pretty normal. I probably ran that average for a few months straight up until like 2 days ago, when I started my attempt to quit. Going surprisingly okay

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>>685913700
Kek.

>>685910856
Rock flag and fuckin eagle

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>>685905854

Anal vore is my life.

>>685913840
Ironically?

I'm thinking about using tumblr for funny shit and shorthaired qt3.14s ( no not those feminazi ones).

>>685913762
Go on.......

>>685914205
You guys have any xp?

It's almost impossible for me to talk on the phone. I get incredibly anxious and feel I'll anytime I even think of calling someone. My girlfriend and parents ger mad at me because I ask them to call people for me and they don't understand how badly it freaks me out. I'm also deeply creeped out by robots/dolls. Not scared, just really disturbed. I get a feeling of intense dread when I see a porcelain doll.

>>685910775
Idk if you're just being a method actor here or if this is legit how fucking bad you are haha.
Too tired to get all euphoric on you but your personal relationship with yourself is so, soooooo easy for you to change. and that's all that matters. Get intimate with your inner being. All your actions are just echoes of the primal ember inside of you, and much more often than not you are acting on second nature and not in a fashion that's linear to your true self or desires. It's really easy to degrade into nothing. So so so easy. Just be motivated for a sick tomorrow and it will always come, more than half of it is the mentality and not even the situation. Self respect, love, and excitement is always doable in bleak scenarios. And lastly circumstance is weak shit. It's so on the surface and basic yet we let it dictate our paths. Know your place. The only pedestal that exists to any singular mind is that of itself. Just be the shit I know you can be bitchhhhhh

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>Someone asked me for the derivative of:
>y=x^2
>I told them it was
dy = 2x dx
>but that they were probably looking for something like
dy/dx = 2x
>They told me it was 2x
>I told them they were wrong
>I explained the chain rule in vivid detail and explained the error in their ways using a simplistic analogy.
>We arent friends anymore
>not their choice

>>685914159
That post is pretty autistic. Holy shit! Too bad it's not real.

>>685914159
Why the FUCK would you tell your family about something like that? Jesus Christ.

>>685914318
You gotta gf? Jelly donut

>>685914159

>What did I do wrong?

>>685914159
wtf is anal vore? im scared to google it

I repeat myself using different words. It almost always goes unnoticed.

>>685914397

the background and text, are the kind used on Deviantart, knowing that place I wouldn't bet against it being real.

>>685914318
Yo my body temp rises insanely on the phone. Some times I sink into long convos and shit still but it's very rare and scarce. 99 percent of the time I stutter sweat talk over people etc etc. like afterwards I have to shake it out. Literally. Even murmur to myself afterwards in embarrassment

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>>685914675

>>685905854
I do improv

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>be me ~9
>asked what masturbation was
>everyone gave me shifting eyes everytime
>about a month prior to 10 bday i had been jerking
>w.o knowing what I was doing
>just knew it felt good
>and it didn't want ppl to find out
>also because nothing seem to happen after climax
>no cum stains ever found
>was in denial my entire middle school years
>even rejected a girl who asked me out
>because faps
>been an autist ever since
>caused me to do what this guy does
>>685908414
>now only friend is a grill whom uses google hangouts
>butterfaced, and with scoliosis
Living my life the stupidest way possible fam...
Also..
I drove a sexually conflicted korean girl into therapy after self rejection and she rejecting me

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>>685906181
Not me but OP smoked some pubes

>>685914507
Yeah I'm very normal on the surface but I have some issues that you wouldn't notice until you get to know me.

>>685905854

I talk with my conscious out loud

>>685914373
The derivative of y = x^2 is 2x.

You really are an autist.

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>>685905854
I'm Neet. Besides that I'm awsome. I get lots of pussy. The thing is though Im really depressed. But having depression is on the autisum spectrum. That and i have focus problems. But yeah..fuck I need a job.. but no one wants to hire a drop out. Also im poor as fuck so i cant go take the ged test that costs 50$. I'm barely living and want to die most of the time and can't even get a job at a McDonald's. If i dont have a job in 6 months I'm probably going to just walk off into the desert and shoot myself. The thing though is that I hate the way Im living but cant change it. Its really pissing me off

>>685914675
Imagine being swallowed whole.

Now imagine that, but instead you're being swallowed by an anus.

>>685914252
Ye. Just follow blogs that only reblog funny stuff, and don't recirculate anything. Call it "aesthetic minimalism".

>>685914926
soooo mlp anal depictions?
hot damn.
id move to a farm or join the military until i forgot about my previous life if that were me

>>685914852
Yep I do that every time, it's almost an involuntary shudder

>>685910396
>Underage

>But le i'm like le 22

k

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3am here... Gf no friends.

>>685908814
lol I'm only playing a retard, guys, like radio or forrest

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I take fighting games a little too seriously. Hell I might just take video games too seriously in general. Improving and practicing is very important to me and I get disappointed in myself if I'm not optimal.

>>685915264
sell your gun for a ged test. how old are you?

>>685915456
Haha I'll never shake it. Ordering food or buying things is top. Then people I kinda know - banks, landlords, work etc. then friends. Girls. Family I don't mind I guess on the psychological front but it physically feels the same any way. So lame

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I once had a terrible sonic oc.
I recreated him in all of his shitty glory.

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>>685915419

I mean not necessarily ponies, that was just the silliest example I could find.

Basically they get off on the concept of having their entire body shoved up someone or something's ass or possibly by shoving other people, or animals up their ass.

>>685910020
Fucking lost

>>685915264
Lazy mindset. Also when you're that low just pack up and thru hike / travel. It's fun and panhandling enough money for cheap cheap food on the road and also hitch hiking is fun and easy. Be an enigma ¥¥¥¥¥

I own over 200 band shirts and wear one nearly every day

>>685914159

this fuckin story... I read the first small bit of it and was like no

>>685905854
i have a pegging and incest fetish

eh. Im a necrophiliac.

i try to fix relations through fb messenger.. Knowing that the people I write to will never read the messages and refresh the pages at least twice when I check them daily. I need new friends. Real ones, this time. Also I use 4chan.

so this thread makes me want to start over, kicking 4chan is probably the first step. so help me out by reporting ?
FUCK YOU MODS IM ONLY 12 YEARS OLD, AND ILL INVITE TONS OF HORNY 12 YEAR OLD SLUTS IF YOUR PUSSY ASSES DONT BAN ME!!!!!!!!!

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>>685914159
>One of my uncles got REALLY MAD and started calling me names

>>685916040
same, anon. got more merch than a person needs.

>>685915715
imma need more of those gifs anon

>>685916392
>>reports bc ur stupid.
go kys.

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>>685915735
See thats the thing. I dont even own a gun. I dont even own a computer. I'm on mobil right now. My cell isnt even turned on so I cant even use it for calls. My parents let me stay here but besides that I dont know what to do. I would start negging for jobs but I dont even have noce clothing or a license yet. I'm 21. I have never had problems making or keeping friendships but fuck I get depressed seeing all my friends move on in life and I'm just here. Like fuck me..don't get me wrong I'm happy for them but sometimes its just to much. I spend a good 30 mins lookong up ways to kill myself a clean way so my parents won't have to clean me up. I just cant take it man. Wake me up

>>685908414
Point is to learn what your doing wrong, then eventually crush sum puss.
>tl;dr
>lrn2crushpuss

>>685916392
haha epic post bro!

find a private company that doesn't need a diploma and tell them you're willing to learn. ask local or state govt if they are willing to waive 50$fee for fed test. or at least try and get food stamps to help you survive.

>>685909276
I lol'd

I have legit autism

>>685915245
Its what they call a "subtle but important distinction". A HS math teacher wont take off points if you put down 2x, but it is important for real-world applications and differential equations that you derive y=x^2 as dy = 2x dx.

If you dont, you lose information, and you can get questions/solutions like "What is the height of the moon around the sun for 80 seconds?" or "The speed of a rock thrown at a speed of 10 miles is 9 minutes".

The trick is that they state an equation with y and x. If they just said "f(x) = x^2", then I would have accepted 2x as an okay answer, or if they had said "y=x^2, what is the derivative of y *with respect to x*?"

Outside of this framework, derivation is just an operation, like multiplication, so you do it to both sides, and the y actually makes this a multivariable problem. The "derivative" of y=x^2 could have just as easily meant the rate of change of x with respect to y, which would have been something more along the lines of 1/(2sqrt(y))

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I cant get used going to sleep at time, everytime I end up staying till 2 am, thus sleeping about 4 hours

>>685909772
I still love a woman who hates me, I hate her, and still loves me. We have been divorced for 8 years, and are both remarried to other people. We have a child together so have an excuse to talk. Spend 29 days of the month shit talking and belittling each other. Spend the other day of the month talking about how good it felt to be together in love.
When I tell my current wife "I love you" at night, in my mind I am really saying it to my ex.

Dam son. this is a very...autistic thread.

I don't take care of my teeth and do the bare min to maintain myself clean because I am self conscious of how stupid looking I am.

If I say something funny or have a pleasant conversation with someone that makes me smile I'll repeat phrases or jokes under my breath when I walk away, smiling the entire time.

>>685916800
I would, however, say that if they were looking for dy/dx, that 2x is correct...

>>685910279
love that show, i remember when it was on MTV. how can i get a copy of what you made?

>>685909764
How do you make them like you to want to meet up, senpai?

>>685905854
show me a girls feet and i immediately drop her... unless ive known her for long but even then good luck to her

Only on 4Chan will you find threads like this. Cheers to all you autistic fucks.

>>685916922
>>685916800
Thanks for the response dog. Sorry I called you an autist.

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>>685916654
Yeah I'm actually on food stamps but give them to my parents. But that's a good idea. I just am stuck right now in this endless cycle. Sometimes I feel like taking as much water i can carry in a backpack and start walking west.

>>685916543
meditate, learn from your mistakes and break out of your negative cycles. I'm only 21 too and im working shit aswell. Im sure your parents would lend you $50 to get your ged, and that's probably the best place to start. Take care of yourself. Change your thoughts, and change the world, and since ive started meditating (months ago) i have a lot more self control, self awareness, and a more positive outlook on life. You can get past this.
you guys can call me fag all you want, but the fact is we all go through bullshit in our lives, and why not share the information, and experiences that have helped.

>>685916989
>welcometosalty'spatoon.jpg

>>685915827
*mind murderer

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>>685917024
lel. you replied to two different people, but that's ok, good on you i guess

>>685917100
i mean im 12, fuckin ban me already

>>685916882
I also do this. If it's a good conversation i'll probably think about it and repeat parts of it to myself under my breath all day.

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>>685913452
Thats all you need anon-kun

>>685917100
this. slowly make goals to pass that way you can progress anon. ask your friends or acquaintances for references for a job

>>685916855
So you're hoping the smell will take the focus off of your looks? I'm not quite sure I understand...

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>>685917100
Thanks for replying man and for the guidance. God bless my parents, but unfortunatly they have always been bad at that whole guidance part. Goodluck on your journey friend.

>>685917377
id fuck the brains out of Alucard, I'll have you know.

>>685909716
Only retarded children type like that. Gtfo.

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>>685916922
That was my point originally... they didnt, they just asked "what is the derivative of y=x^2?" Different question... you understand me though, right?

>>685917024
Dont sweat it... im definitely an autist. There is no universe in which the response I gave was a measured one, appropriate for the question. I should have just let it go, but i couldnt

>>685910549
Me neither.

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>>685916839
Have you tried to when things out with your ex? Have you ever slipped and told her you still love her?

>>685917488
I clearly don't talk like that, and was explaining what text-speak is.

>>685905854
I know that feel bro.

Anyhoo, when I was a kid, I used to run down the hall at school imitating Sonic the Hedgehog.

When I was five, I was so fat I literally thought I was pregnant.

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>>685917292
the mods are asleep

>>685917333
So glad I'm not the only one. I hate when I get caught though and it looks like I'm talking to myself.

>>685917439
Not exactly. I just don't practice hygine as often as I should, cuz I am already ugly so... Fuck it, might as well be disguisting all around. Enjoying my life in the swamp.

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>>685917798

>>685917530
Yeah, I get you. Point is, they were wrong for the question they asked, but it's easy to see how there's room for bitching if misread. I almost did.

>>685914159
Lol these threads are the cornerstone of /b/. I love you fags

>>685917456
you too bro

>>685917927
>Cornerstone
They're the fucking keystone nigga.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAlb45SmZWA

so clevar

>>685911327
Are you The Accountant? Holy shit man, get your life together