>>685850850
Become a nigger

convince her to have an abortion

>>685851133
can't, she wants the baby

Use a VPN for the rest of your life, then they'll never be able to trace the babies IP back to you, you are virtually a free man.

>newfags
>are you fucking stupid?

Man the fuck up

>>685850850
Move away and send her a significant portion of your income every month for 18 years.

That bitch cheated on you for having a small Asian dick so don't worry about it

File: original-424-416-pennyroyal-oil-05-fl-oz.jpg (204 KB, 352x800) Image search: [Google]

204 KB, 352x800

>>685851276
Why don't you have yours?

Do some research before you decide to poison your child, faggot. it can possibly kill the mother. Which is probably a Plus if you're asking for advice here.

File: Mighty_Morphin_Power_Rangers_The_Movie_43059_Medium.jpg (48 KB, 411x615) Image search: [Google]

48 KB, 411x615

>>685850850
That's what you get for leaving your room, OP.

You become a fucking adult, have a talk with her since relationship takes 2 persons right? then you tell her you're not ready for a child and that's fucking easy.

>>685850850
KILL HER!

File: eb5538abc3e8e9129e705e4a520971b1[1].jpg (114 KB, 500x659) Image search: [Google]

114 KB, 500x659

Only solution

Have her take in massive amounts of vitamin c or ascorbic acid. My ex and I had a pregnancy scare and that worked for me

>>685850850
have her "accidentally" her down the stairs when you "accidentally "push her down the stairs, then meet her at the base of the stairwell and "accidentally" punch her in the ovaries claiming you "accidentally" fell down the stairs behind her.

>>685852452
This

>>685852452
I hadn't noticed the little demon spewing out of Zelda's mouth in the last panel.

Remember that awesome new car you wanted?

Yeah, well you can forget about that now.

>>685852511
>The ovaries
>not the womb
wat

>>685850850
Find a long flight of stairs
Position girlfriend at top of said stairs
......
Profit

Too late for that. You are the father time to be a man nigglet

File: tumblr_mf7a8fweuB1qctrupo1_500.gif (1018 KB, 500x265) Image search: [Google]

1018 KB, 500x265

Stab her in the gut. Works everytime

>>685850850
Mega high doses of vitamin c (make sure it doesn't havent rosehips in it) can cause a spontaneous abortion. Also black cohosh and dong quai.

>>685850850
Find the nearest staircase.

>>685852508
This wont work
medfag here
>>685850850
You can always run away

shoot her in the face.

Tell her you'll leave her if she keeps it. It's not fair that she can choose to have everything her way. Either abortin, or keep it, but either way don't let her drag you down.

>>685853124
it works against pregnancy scare. it doesn't work against real pregnancy.

>>685850850
Try the hail mary.

If that doesn't work - insinuate she is cheating on you. Ask for a DNA test as soon as the baby is born. Take it at a DNA diagnostic center and send in a friend who has a slight resemblance to you to take it (he will need your ID). They don't check that carefully. When the results come in tell her to beat it since you now know she's a cheating whore. That test legally protects you and you can' t be asked to retake it.

It will be the best 1K you've ever spent.

Tell her you had a vasectomy before you met her, and also tell her your doctor would sign legal papers saying he performed it on you.
Then tell her that you know about the other guy, and that if she gets an abortion you'll forgive her.

cut your dick off and beat her to death with it.

Slip some RU486 into her drink or food. Problem solved

>>685850850
You can kill her and claim you lost control because of your emotions and you won't get fucked in the ass by your cell mate for too many years
You can go to a country where they can't make you pay for child support
You can try to kill the baby in the womb
In any case you're fucked

Super glue her pussy shut so it can never come out.

>>685850850
haw haw

>>685850850
Be responsible for your fuck up.

>>685852989
my gf walked down the stairs. now what

>Knock her out
>get coat hanger
>hide all evidence
TFW girlfriend wakes up to a "miscarriage"

>>685850850
How old are you both OP?

time travel - dejaculation

>>685854164
You dun goofed.
Consequences will never be the same.

>>685854342
>my guess is 14.

Kill urself, get a new name, get some dark clothes, come back when the kid is a young person, cut his/her hand off and tell them You are their father.

Bat to the gut homie.

OP break down the costs of having a child over the next 18 years. Some pretty compelling numbers there...I had an abortion 3 weeks ago. Not something I want to have to repeat, but not nearly as bad as I thought. I did it medically with the pills, I was 5 weeks along. 1 in 3 women have an abortion in their lifetime. Timing wasn't right for my boyfriend and I. He had a semen analysis done and we were told he was infertile..surprise, he wasn't. You may have better luck not pressuring her hardcore but letting her know you're concerned about the future, the costs, being too young, unmarried, etc. All else fails tell her to spend a weekend with a newborn. That will change her mind prettyyy quickly. Good luck op.

>>685854642
so......tits?

>>685851276
You are fucked.

You could always try not being a little bitch and manning the fuck up. Take care of your kid man. Don't be a fucking nigger. Also work on that pullout game son

>>685854728
She's not asking for anything you dumbfag

>>685854728
Topkek

>>685854728
Yea. Post her tits. They get bigger when she's pregnant. So there's a plus

>>685855221
It's not normal that the bitch can opt out but the man is fucked
This is a clear case of inequality
Everybody must be equal under the law, that's the basis of democracy

>>685850850
Very high levels of vitamin C will cause miscarriage.

You're welcome.

>>685850850
kick her stomach

>>685853108
This

>>685854728
fuck off

File: 1458797845990.jpg (9 KB, 261x170) Image search: [Google]

9 KB, 261x170

>>685853628
So crazy it might work

>>685853628
holy shit

>>685851724
>thread

Pretty sure OP just elected an hero as his best option

>>685850850
Talk it out logically like adults faggot

>>685857445
>op just aborted

Tell her you're a carrier for an abnormality like Tay-Sachs disease, and you can't imagine bringing a child into this world just to watch them die a slow painful death at an early age.

I doubt you're the father anyways.
Good luck, cuck.

>>685850850
coat hanger time

>>685857859
ive taken some ideas into consideration

>>685851276
There are subtle ways to "induce" a miscarriage, if you are fucked up enough to proceed with killing it and to some extent ruining your girlfriends life.

>>685857030
>>thread
>Bread
>goto bed.

>>685858075
Start sneaking tansy herbs into all of her drinks and food and she'll either lose the bomb or just plain die eventually. Note however that tansy herbs have a very strong and noticeable scent and flavor, and that it is traceable in an autopsy report if she'd OD.

>>685850850
have a sex change. you can't be the father then

>>685858738
Oh hi bruce.

>>685853461
>it works against pregnancy scare
>it doesn't work against real pregnancy
so it doesn't work

File: image.gif (2 MB, 320x240) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 320x240

>>685851094

>>685859152
it's caitlyn fag

>>685857867
This might work.

Nobody is forcing you to be the father.
If she comes after you for child support just don't pay it.

>>685850850
If you don't want to be a father then keep your cock in your pants you stupid fuckwit cunt.

>>685853461
It turns real pregnancy into a scare.

Man up and except responsibility for your actions. It is your fault she got preggo if you did not wear protection. Don't give me that shit about her being on birth control. You had a choice to use a condom or not and you chose poorly. Now face your actions and take responsibility you piece of shit. Should have thought about it before you spunked in her.

>>685850850
if u black u just run away

roofie her and get her so drunk the baby comes out retarded

>>685850850
fake your death and run away. you have (supposedly) 9 months to move money around, make contacts, make plans, and execute.

i was in a similar situation once and this is what i did.

Sneak a crap ton of vitamin c in to her system

File: Fabulous.gif (1 MB, 348x261) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 348x261

>>685853621
Damn, never thought of that one

>>685853621

My brother did this, asked his best friend to go in his place, test came back a match. That's how he found out his best mate had been shagging his fiance behind his back. AND he has to pay for the kid his now ex best friend and ex fiance made because his plan backfired so hard.

So be careful of this plan, it can make things far, far worse.

>>685850850
Youll be ok op. Fatherhood is quite rewarding..you get late nights changing shitty diapers and wearing baby puke everynight. After two weeks youll get over it tho. You enjoy endless hours slaving away at a job you hate so you can buy shot you dont need but your baby does. No matter what youll always have to work now,even if youre sick , have broken bones,have testicular cancer, or even when you habe plans and suddenly you get called into work..but dont worry it gets better. After 6 weeks your baby momma can have sex again but dont get your hopes up..after pushing a n object the size of a water melon out of something the size of a lemon i sex wont be in your future anytime after that..matter of fact aftet her going thru labpr for 36 hours sheel more than likely hate your guts. This is where the fun begins, see the whole work thing is your relief your way of getting away from a wretched bitch whos misery encompasses everything that you do. So yoi had dreams ave a mouth to feed and wabout yours. Your kid will grow and as he/she grows comes a whole new set of problems and exyra costs that are by all account..your burden. Have fun. Hope you have a very miserable existence from this time forward. Remember..no more xbones or cs go now its sesame street and barney for the next 6 years on 24 hour repeat. Whats that ? You said you want to hang out with your buddies?goodluck!theyll hang for a few weeks until the novelty of having a cutsey pie babay in the house is replaced by habing a nonstop crying spawn of satan..and they cant take it anymore. Oh lets not forget child support just incase you and baby momma break up...68 percent of your paycheck will go to the bitch who will undoubtedly live to make you miserable cause she dont want you and she dont want anyone to want you..and she damn sure dont want you to have anything. Enjoy your bed buddy..you made it.

>>685864713
>Things that never happend by t. pissy anti-abortionist

>>685861328

But women can whore around just fine and if they dont want to be a mother they just suck that little fucker out with a hoover and head straight back to the bar to hop on something that looks good in a leather jacket, even if they father wanted her to keep the baby. Totally fair.

talk her into abortion

>>685865031

Oh come on, that would have been funny as fuck. Lighten up and join the fun, grumpy guts.

>>685864927
oh.