Is there a low fat Satan to worship?

File: bigguy.jpg (85 KB, 569x802) Image search: [Google]

85 KB, 569x802

>>685759858
You're a big guy

>>685759858
how's highschool?
does your larp group have a name?
what's your favourite tcg?

Is this the a new weeaboo thing?

Is that your belly?

File: image.jpg (37 KB, 443x332) Image search: [Google]

37 KB, 443x332

>>685759858

Cringe thread

>>685759858
What's your favorite furniture ?

>>685759942
fuck im so tired of that person.

>>685759858
Are all your spells high in fructose corn syrup?

>>685760112
ruined the dankest meme, fam. smh

File: 1462017106083.jpg (116 KB, 600x410) Image search: [Google]

116 KB, 600x410

>>685760072
Very good meme usage anon. Relevant and funny

How many boxes of twinkies ya diablorize per day?

>>685759858
When did you last see your penis?

>>685759858
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE SPELL

>>685759942

4
u

File: 1462440948663.jpg (9 KB, 279x229) Image search: [Google]

9 KB, 279x229

>>685759858
Looks cool to me

>>685759858

how do you serve evil, oral/anal?

>>685760257
Ahh, a common misconception. Satanists such as myself are granted different levels of powers and abilities, however this is different from mere "spells".

I am only responding to serious questions.

>>685760375
They say he uses a salt circle (pie filling substituted naturally) enabling him the ability to use both!

>>685760519

oooo, show us a power and/or ability

uh... if you have the ability?

timestamp?

>>685760562
How did you get into the whole business of serving evil?

>>685760519
>>685760587

"Ability" = Hot dog eating contest

>>685760575

that seems efficient

>>685759932
sensiblechuckle.jpg

>>685759858
How hardcore is your power exactly?

>>685759858
Have you tried spitting instead of swallowing? also how much cock do you need to suck to get that fat?

Hmm I thought satanic sacrifices were burnt not eaten

>>685759858
Ever tried using your powers to finally find that house with a beam strong enough to do the job?

>>685760587
I was granted the power by the Dark One the ability to see in the future. These are called premonitions, and they are mostly random and I have little power over when and what I see.

>>685760645
I always knew in my heart about where my allegiance lied. When I got to college, I met some like minded people who told me the truth about the world, and allowed me to know the secret to communicating with the Underworld.

>>685760666
Nice trips.

I got cucked by an actual chimpanzee

>>685760519
However, the "baconize everything" spell is one of my favourites among my grimoire.

>>685759858
>>685760666

If you are truly a servant, then stop trying to look smug, and shove weiners down your throat as I have commanded you.

>>685759858
How can someone like me serve the dark one too?

>>685761025

how many of these premonitions of yours have come true?

>the Dark One

dude sounds dank can I get his number? I tried 666-6666 but your mother picked up

>>685761170
For example, l frequently get a "l'm going to regret this" premonition right before l eat a box of twinkies.

>>685759858
*What are you buyin... What are you selling...*

>>685761217

>and it comes true, constantly

I'm beginning to grasp this concept

File: Barack-Cheesin.jpg (22 KB, 331x318) Image search: [Google]

22 KB, 331x318

>>685761062
>>685761062

10/10, made me lol as I was scrolling down

>>685761170
That is indeed the dark one you are looking for. They say her "well of darkness" can't be satiated, by both sustenance as well as penis!

>>685761025
Why the fuck do you not wear the medallion correctly?
You have only one point facing upwards.
A reversed pentagram, with two points projecting upwards, is a symbol of evil as it is the goat of lust attacking the heavens with its horns, a sign execrated by initiates. Literal fucking amateur.

>>685761299

quite the woman

confirm/deny satan?

>>685761128
Not just anyone may serve. If the path is right for you, a course will be set in motion so that you may be assimilated.

>>685761170
When I get a vision, the future will not change unless I take actions to alter it. If I get a premonition and do nothing to change what I would do normally, then the vision unfolds in reality.

>>685761344
Cus hes a evil jew? And the one point thats pointing up is hes dick, cus he wants his dick into the heavens of a vagina he is lusting so much for.

>>685761344
Do not dare desecrate me with such indignity or I will rain hell down upon you.

>>685761452

wow. have any, you know, proof of any of this maybe?

I have the internet fyi.

>>685761236
Kek, underrated post.

>>685761344
Undeniable logic

>>685761572
Do you have proof of anything? Exactly.

>>685761452

are you currently seeing any premonitions, ye millennial sage?

File: 1433716031846.jpg (101 KB, 600x800) Image search: [Google]

101 KB, 600x800

>>685759932
Op here

Im not fat, just look at pic related

>>685761641

Yes, I have proof of a lot of things. What is your point?

>>685761452
>Not just anyone may serve. If the path is right for you, a course will be set in motion so that you may be assimilated.

>When I get a vision, the future will not change unless I take actions to alter it.

Jesus OP this shit needs to get screencapped for a cringe thread hes almost going all out! My sides!

>>685761792
Stop mocking me right this instant, imbecile, or l shall seal your doom.

what are your thoughts on The Book of Thoth?

File: Dickwad Mcdickinson.jpg (3 MB, 4000x2250) Image search: [Google]

3 MB, 4000x2250

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE !!!!

>>685761738
I am not currently, no. However, my most recent premonition was of a warning of a mass slaying of innocent children in a school by a dispirited and troubled young man. As a servant of evil, it is my duty to not interfere with acts that benefit evil and the Dark One.

>>685759858
"ricky, dinners ready. make sure you leave some for your brother this time."
"im going to hex you if theres no shells and cheese mom"

>>685762090

Enough talk! Let it be finished!

File: eating_a_baby_chocobo_by_pandafancharles.jpg (52 KB, 604x451) Image search: [Google]

52 KB, 604x451

I love dicks

>>685762150

You need to speak up and clear the governments name, because it's a bunch of shit that people deny that happened.

Satan confirming it himself would be big news.

>>685761792
faggot

>>685762290
I had this premonition just a few days ago.

>>685762150
Yeah, pretty sure that youngman was a OP that made a semi/cringe ask a demonic faglord worshipper anything thread.

>>685762373

those are the best kind imo

>>685761344
Must be a wiccan fag

>>685761977
An amateur! Every true servant knows that powers may only be granted through great levels of training and devotion.

File: dickwad kills other dickwad.png (1 MB, 1366x934) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 1366x934

>>685762210
Say what nigger?

Op so if there exists some evil servant society then does there exist a league of demon hunters or good society with angels, no?
Because its much cooler to be part of something like that.

>>685759858
I always tought fat people was nice...

>>685762499

You thought we'd forgotten? You thought we'd forgiven?

Are you aware that all the evil you perpetuate and condone is ultimately to yourself?

And that all feelings of fear and hatred you have towards anything else is ultimately a fear and loathing of yourself?

With that taken into consideration, just how much do you then hate yourself?

Why do you hate yourself?

Do you know this 3rd dimensional version of yourself is a distorted and conditioned version of your true self?

And finally do you genuinely prefer the angry you over the happy you?

>>685762475
You have never come across a fiend such as myself , I am a Magister Templii of the Hermetic Order of The Golden Dawn, you are not even a Neophyte

>>685759858
Why don't you actually do something with your life you can be proud of, instead of dressing up like Friar Tuck in a bad mood?

>>685759858
They say that black is a "thinning colour, so you must really be fucking enormous>"

>>685759858
max 1 rm military press?

and hows dave fairing???

File: 1012611_10200960906658234_1021546534_n.jpg (156 KB, 960x937) Image search: [Google]

156 KB, 960x937

Op,serious question here.

Are aliens creations of the Dark One and may worship Satan like you do? If not,what do you think about them. They will destroy us all with their inconfutable superior technology?

>>685763867
http://starcraft.wikia.com/wiki/Amon

How can you be bothered?

>>685761062
Aren't you supposed to be answering questions in the thread you created?

File: 1456096124115_0.gif (2 MB, 383x576) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 383x576

>>685761025
>>685761452
>>685761811
>>685762150
>>685762979

>>685759858
What do you define as evil?

>>685764538
Yes. Alas, foolish questions needn't apply.

>>685765161
Okey here's a legit question, why are you such a faggot? And why do you want to end up in a cringe thread?

File: f76e26861746c80efb10cbd6594c3f8a.jpg (49 KB, 640x641) Image search: [Google]

49 KB, 640x641

>>685759858
okay i'll bite. if you're a servant of evil, why are you wearing the wrong pentagram? That's more the tree hugging wiccan or druid or celtic pentagram. You need to turn that thing around if you're gonna claim to be evil.

>>685759858
If your the kind of guy the dark lord employs these days im converting

>>685765483

this

>>685761792
The photoshop is real

File: 3-leo-satan-iv.jpg (60 KB, 800x450) Image search: [Google]

60 KB, 800x450

>>685761879
HE MAD

Are you a mudslime? Is that a burkha?

>>685759858
You blasphemer a true follower of our ways would never allow any of these common cretans to see him in his dark form how dare you mock the subtlety of our ways

>>685766051
cretins*

kek

>>685765483
>this nigger

>>685759858
The only evil you serve is gluttony.

>>685766051
aaaaand that moment when another wannabe posts in an already wannabe thread. the church of satan isn't even evil, they're just all about "me me me, i'm gonna do what i want to get what i want and screw anyone in my way". Also they pretty much denounce any religion whatsoever. Would you like to know more? http://www.churchofsatan.com/

I love it when people try to be edgy by showing how much of a faggot they can be.

Dude, Manservant Hecubuc from the Pit of Ultimate Darkness is a greater servant of evil than you.

Satan's agents don't wear prescription orthopedic shoes.

>>685767166
or more specifically, just go here....
http://www.churchofsatan.com/faq-fundamental-beliefs.php

>>685765483
both of those are evil

>>685759858
Hi, you seem like you'd be great at flatulence and things of this variety. If you had to guess, how many decibels was your loudest fart?

>>685759858
Whats it like working for Hillary?
Is she that scary irl?

>>685767329
yeahh.... no they're not. Neither of them are technically. Considering that the church of satan is a bunch of athiests that believe in no deity other than oneself. The other symbol being that of wiccans or other pagan religions. Myself, I'm druidic pagan, following in some of the old ways from way back before the so called Christ. Not one of the practices is evil, unless you consider respecting nature, revering the beauty of it and doing what I can to protect it, having as much loving, consensual sex as I want with those I care about, and protecting everyone around me to the best of my abilities, to be evil. Paganism as a whole, if followed correctly, contains less evil as a whole than a Christian preacher has in his little pinky. One of the lines in the Wiccan Rede clearly states "An harm ye none, do what ye will" basically saying, don't hurt anybody but do what you want. If that's evil, then string me up in a tree for my crimes.

>>685763020
Holy shit the autism

>>685767937
Prime example of how NOT evil paganism is, in general... my goddess never demanded sacrifices in her name, or that we purge the non-believers for her glory. Both the Judeo-Christian God and Islam's Allah have demanded such sacrifices and purges and wars. Ever heard of the crusades? Both of those religious tangents are filled with hate and intolerance despite claiming to be otherwise. Not a Christian, haven't accepted Christ? You're going to hell and I'm going to beat you in the head with this stick until you believe Jesus loves you.

>>685765483
Doom vs Not doom

>>685759858
Tell us your bra-size.

>>685767937
>>685768298
autism

>>685767937
Do you own a fedora?

>>685759858
You're a servant of evil? I'm actually fucking shocked you have ever got off your fat ass to take that picture outside. I mean dude.. Your fucking stomach has its own stomach.

On a philosophical note.. are you really as evil as a catholic priest who pretends to be good but then is a complete perv... u need to lift your game.. true is evil never looks evil

>>685759858
HAHAHAHAHAH LOOK THIS FACE !!!!!

>>685759858
I just had a brainwave /b/ He thinks he's a servant of evil because he casts a shadow where ever he walks... I mean lets face it. The fucking Land casts a shadow on his own shadow that screams "GET OFF ME YOU FAT FUCK"

>>685759858
so your evil plan is to drain national budget by getting fat right ?

>>685767937
>Myself, I'm druidic pagan
Basically the religious equivalent of a special snowflake.

>>685759858
How much did it cost to buy 10 rolls of fabric to make that lard sheet?

I don't believe in anything I can't see. hear. or feel

File: After+the+years+of+internet+usage+my+reaction+_607d542ff677bf9d97a5c960ab69bdfe.gif (83 KB, 266x200) Image search: [Google]

83 KB, 266x200

>>685759932
It ain't a good when you're being rekt in the first reply OP

>>685771869
>that gif
The only nigger that did something good

File: 1443130894093.jpg (35 KB, 330x330) Image search: [Google]

35 KB, 330x330

>>685760375
OH GOD MY SIDES

File: image.jpg (62 KB, 604x453) Image search: [Google]

62 KB, 604x453

>>685759858
How does it feel knowing you will be slain by my +3 vorpal axe?

Why are you so fat

File: PICKLE_PEE.jpg (29 KB, 412x430) Image search: [Google]

29 KB, 412x430

>>685767937
You need to be burned witch.

>>685771946
>Not including the realest nigga of all time, Adolf Hitler

>>685772049
this

/thread

>>685767937
so how does magic work oh great druid? Ever conjured a lightning from the tips of your fingers? Or maybe dancing around fire can change the very weather and yield good harvest this year?

Altho .... if those orgies in middle of the woods are true ... well I'm into THAT! So sign me up to your religion in that case! Atleast it's scientificaly plausible the they would be good for fertility!

>>685771622
Holy shit yes

>I identify as pan-sexual demigender squirrelkin-san

>>685772049
Well shit this anon cut straight to the chase

>>685759858
flaming hot cheetoes or the puffy kind?

>>685772466
The puffy kind duh

Only edgy memelord faggots go for the flaming hot to prove that they can handle one hundredth of a jalapeño's spice

File: 5402586539_37c8bf1e8a.jpg (39 KB, 284x386) Image search: [Google]

39 KB, 284x386

>>685759858
aren't you a little fat to be a stormtrooper?

File: so powerful.jpg (385 KB, 1457x778) Image search: [Google]

385 KB, 1457x778

You fools don't understand how powerful he has truly become. Looks at this chart and despair, for you will never attain his power.

>>685759858
Why so s- FAT?

You can't catch your next prescgool rape victim... let alone a hero you fat curtain draped goat fucker.

U are kind of like Hodor with a tiny cock.

>>685772683
Jesus Christ who let you on the computer

>>685759858
OP does being a kissless virgin really make you a dark wizard.

>>685759858
why are you so fat?

>>685759858
Where can I find a feast worthy of the devil himself?

>>685759858
>why haven't you killed yourself yet you fat retard

>>685765842
HUR DUR ME NO UNDERSTAND JOKE NURRRRRRRRR

>>685772674
>my main is on eredar
eredar is a race not a planet faggot