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i once cummed on a cookie and fed it to a hobo.

>>685700696
Same

Had a gun pulled on me in 8th grade. Shot the kid sitting beside me at lunch

I killed a small animal by fucking it while living abroad. After I was done I flushed it down the toilet.

I once ate a cookie fully knowing there was semen on it.

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>>685700918
Hey man howve u been! sry i cummed on it man

>>685700573
I had sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation and then downloaded a torrent and didn't seed it

>>685700918
Kek

>>685700573
I was fucking an one night stand in the arse. When I pulled out my knob, there was a corn kernel on it. I didn't tell and she sucked me off and swallowed the corn kernel. Obviously I didn't kiss her at all for the duration of the night.

>>685701094
You sick fuck

Dad had a heart attack and brother was murdered

I fucked my pet dog when I was 12.

A cookie cummed on a hobo that I then ate.

>>685701181
You are doing God's work anon, you are winning in the game of life

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>>685701181

>>an one night stand
>>an one night
>>AN ONE

You irritating piece of shit, get the fuck out of here.

I'm fucking my best friend's girlfriend.

>>685700573
Me and my girl were fooling around, I was finger blasting her for a little bit and then put my dick in. When she gasped as it went in I kind of came instantly because that was so hot. We cuddle and go to sleep and when I wake up she's in tears, heaving, saying I raped her

hold door hodor

>>685701930
Cont?

>>685700573
I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

>>685700573
I stripped my sister while she was sleeping and came on her tits

Femanon here. When I was thirteen, some dindu broke into my house and had his way with my ass. It hurt like hell, but I also came more times than I could count. Really into butt stuff and black guys now.

>>685700696
>>685700918

Do you guys know each other?

I once came in a girls smoodi when I work at jamna juice

>>685702627
I will fap to this.

Btw, tits or gtfo.

>>685702896
Badinga!

Fucked a friend's wife, which ultimately led to her leaving him.

She liked anal.

Went to penn state when the scandal happened, and started having hazy memories come back. Started using heroin to keep them blocked (it worked!) but they may explain why I tied a cousin to a flagpole and left her there when i was 8, jerked off in a hot tub to her sister when i was 10, stole panties from a washing machine came in them then watched the girl take them out and smell them.

but im a pretty nice guy now. thanks heroin!

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>>685702627

when i was like 11 years old, this 8 year old who had a crush on me would follow me around all over the neighborhood when i was hanging out. one time i was alone on some swings outside her house and she came outside, started chatting with me. then she sat on my lap, started lightly grinding against me, told her to stop but she said "i know what's going on down there". she got off me after a while, it was very uncomfortable the whole time.

>>685700573
One time the usher ripped my ticket at a movie theater and said enjoy your movie and i responded "you too"

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>>685702568
Btw took a picture before fapping

>>685701422
Mine fucked me

>>685703688
Fucking nigger.

>>685700914
kill yourself

>>685700914
What kind of animal Anon?

>>685700573
my mom ditched me at a car dealership when I was seven and drove off to kill herself. My grandparents caught up to her and kept her from doing it. I spent the rest of my childhood with a miserable cunt who called me stupid and threatened to kill me in elementary school. She stole my life savings not once, not twice, but three times, and spent my teen years trying to blow my every misstep out of porportion so that in her parent's eyes (same grandparents) she'd be validated in sending me away to military school. When my grandparents didn't buy into that shit because she's always been the same stupid manipulative spoiled whore, she just kicked me out and I was homeless from 16-23. I've lived in two caves and under three bridges. Luckily, my grandparents saw to it that I was fed that whole time.

btw I hardly even touched the surface with my mom. I can't be sure, because I haven't talked to her in years, but I think she was trying to fuck me a lot in my teens. She would try to get me to cuddle with her "like old times" when I was like 14 and 15. She'd draw my attention to her sexuality all the time with really out of place jokes and comments and she insisted upon being naked in the house always. When her and a boyfriend (always some dipshit manchild who was ten years younger than her) would fuck, she would never make even a slight effort to stay quiet. I spent my elementary school years thinking he was hurting her in her room at night and wondering if I could figure out a way to kill him before he could see me coming or stop me.
When my nana died (other grandma) my mom spent her life insurance on a new car and new furniture, even though she'd spent my life savings on that two years before.

All in all I don't care, and neither does any human being on this planet care, if that cunt lives or dies. Nobody will ever miss her and she'll figure that out someday if she's not still so stupid that she dies insisting it's the world's fault nobody loves her.

>>685703071
Go ahead. I still play with myself when I think about how his nigger cock stretched my ass out as he held me down.

>at office party
>very drunk
>hook up with girl I work with who was taken
>fall over
>hurt leg pretty badly
>limp and stagger a few miles home
>find high girl walking the same way as me
>talk to girl
>steal her phone
>fuck her in the bushes
>put her in a taxi and keep going home
>get into bed with fiance
>how was the party anon
>it was ok I guess

Growing up I was a weird little fuck. During tv shows before the era of tivo I would piss behind the couch against the wall when I couldn't hold it until commercial break. We had a cat named prep who was an ornery cunt and he took it as a sign of marking and started pissing all over the house. He ended up getting put down because of it. I couldn't even look him in the eye the day they took him to be put down. Haunts me to this day.

I once walked into Mordor

>>685702405
You're a cheeky faggot

>>685704360
one does not simply walk into mordor

>>685700573
When i was like 8 i had a game shark for gameboy and i hacked mews on to all my cartridges(1 was my own game but i had 6 mews in the trade inventory,the other 3 were just hacked cartidges and had no game data to lose)
All the girls in my culdesac wanted mew.I only gave one mew out per week to the public.The girls had to compete against each other to give me what i wanted.It would normally end in sexual deeds,unless i got the prude girls that day,and i would just get to feel them up.But i also had a secret club.The girls i really liked,i would invite them to this secret club that was in my backyard in the storage container.I told them i had 1 super mew(it was a mew i hex coded) that only my best girl would get,and they would have to satisfy me until i was at my full meter with them.I only let one girl in at a time,so they neverf knew what each other did,so each time they would ask if they won it,and i told them no,and they would need a big jump on the meter to stay in the club.
I never gave out that mew before i had to move,but i had atleast 8 girls letting me fuck or molest them any day of the week,for no real value

>>685704309
as it should you disgusting shit.

>>685704041
You should get her drunk and catch the house on fire with a cigarette or a candle or throw acid in her face if you thought you could get away with it.

Even the Arabs know there's nothing funnier than a roastie that lost the last bit of her worth.

>>685704880
Cool story

>>685704880
Holy shit. Pls be true

>>685705043
Why? her having to live life as her is punishment enough. Plus i'm in college now and I've been in a stable relationship for 5 years. Life is fine and that shit's all in the past. Digging it up now for any reason, especially to hurt her, just makes me the same stupid spiteful little shit as her.

>>685704880
at the age of 8 you fucked 8 girls for a mew? nice i didnt even get ice cream when my dad wanted me for private

>gf pulls knife on my after the club
>hands cut up trying to defend myself
>evetually take her to the ground and pin her, still gripping knife and trying to free that arm
>i palm strike her wrist causing her to drop the knife. this is the only time i ever hit her. i pick up the knife with that hand.
>at that second i hear "stop and put yourhands up"
>two officers at front door, pointing gunsthrough glass window part of door
>they arrive just in time to see my bloodsoaked self pinning a woman down and now holding a knife
>one glance too long and the door is kicked down, tackle, cuffs, car, cell.
>the whole time gf is screaming uncontrollably that i attacked her
>spend next 2 days in county waiting to get murdered by someone as they all knew what i was being charged with
>2 days in gfs relatives come down and have a meeting with arresting officers, they defend me. that plus my defensive cuts and her lack of injuries besides scuffle mark cause them to drop case and release me
>thanks women, stay cray

>>685705374
Of course that's not true. Girls young enough to want mew that bad aren't going to fuck. And girls old enough to want to fuck don't care about their gameboy games that much.

>>685705666
I probly gave out like 20+ mews

>>685701740
Stop being an faggot

>>685702337
More like..cunt.

>>685705642
I guess.
Even as a Christian, I don't think I'd be able to resist the urge to carve her face off if she was my mother.

I coerced an ex into giving me a blowjob. Under a lot of sane peoples' definitions, what I did was rape.

>>685705674
That's what happens in the club scene dude. Nothing but monkeys and whores who've never had to own up and take responsibility for their actions in their life.

It is really a shame that any dumb bitch can rake your eyes out and then YOU go to jail for being male. I've been there too man. With my mom actually. Here's a bit on that:>>685704041

>>685700573
>want pills
>mom says she can suck guy off for pills
>hop to it momma
>moms mentally challenged
>gets heart pills or some shit
>fuck.jpg
>day or two later
>fucking dudes moved in with her
>get him the fuck out
>he just needs place to stay anon
>this is bad
>I can smell that its bad
>I can tell shit aint ok
>find out hes gropen and shit
>she don't want it
>im fuck him up
>no anon your on parole
>swallow pride
>what little I have
>don't go around him cuz id kill him
>wont move says hes got squatters rights and shit
>boiling
>get friend to get him out
>the fuck steals my old dog
>find it he wont eat
>dies
can barley fuckin look at myself

>>685705674
the womyn always innocent in this world, it's sad, you were lucky to escape this

Living in the philippines for school. I go to this massage place. Guy massages me. Proceeds to put hand in my underwear. Feels my hard on from the massage. Get blow job for free. He tells me to come back and he gives me his number. I never will. I am not gay i have a gf. I believe that moment was him taking advantage. Feels bad man.

>>685704041
sounds like she was trying to fuck you, yeah.

I advise going to see her and giving her a good hatefuck.

>>685706462
Of course you would, anon. There's no wincest threads right now. But the reality is that most people have no desire to fuck their fat old ugly ass moms.

>>685706104
yea man i just read yours. thats quite a lot more fucked than my little adventure to county. i fucking feel for you dude

however from that last part i am guessing you managed to overcome your mothers presence as best as possible. you dont seem hung up on it?

>>685706461
learn to say no. You and this girl>>685706063
both.

>>685706688
Not particularly. I was just telling other anon I haven't talked to her in years. I'm in college now and i've been in a stable relationship for 5 years. That shit's so long in the past when I read the OP it actually took me a minute to remember that I had a fucked up childhood.

I have paid my step sister several times to let me watch her masturbate. She has let me touch her and suck her tits. I've probably sunk a good $500 on this over the last year.

>>685706656
>But the reality is that most people have no desire to fuck their fat old ugly ass moms.

"But...but...that fake incest porn with the obvious title...
"

Some guy facefucked my gf at a party I wasn't at
Against her will

>>685703786
Moar

>>685707379
Dude man. There are few things that would drive me to hurt another human being in anger. But that shit is one of them. I would castrate a motherfucker and knock his teeth out, tattoo "Rapist" on his forehead and film a confession and send him away to get facefucked by all the black dicks of the local prison population.

>>685703541
All of that sounds pretty normal to me. Who hasn't jacked in to stolen panties?

>>685707036
is it holding you back in life? 5yrs gf says youre doing ok buddy. i hope so anyway. last thing my dad said to me in my life was "i have no son". after all his shit that really hit me hard, as i was trying to find a way to reach out to him at the time. i think i got over not having that figure in my life during my early 20s, but a lot of people around me disagree.

i find ot strange that some of these massive parts of our lives can be so easily forgotten.

when i was really little, i was in the shower and pulled back my foreskin out of curiosity. The head hurt like hell and i was too scarred to push the skin back myself so my dad had to come into the bathroom and do it for me.

I lost both my parents, inherited alot of money that my best friend hustled from me.

I think my dad had multiple personality disorder or something. He would get fucking pissed if he found out I didn't eat no matter what time frame I specified. So he took me by the throat and forced food down; I would usually vomit it out.

Other times he would catch me making me food and just beat the living shit of me, saying I'm not allowed to eat.

Went on from age 8 till I moved out with mom at 15. 22 now and I'm anorexic and can't even walk into a grocery store without the food stressing me out. Sounds so fucking stupid.

>>685706803
I know i really need to be more assertive. First time its ever happened to me. Fuckkk knowing i have a gay experience pisses me off.

>>685707909
I am alternating between feeling sorry for you and kekking at the mental image

are you okay with liquids?

>>685707663
Well i'm holding on to the past a lot less these days than ever. I never even spoke to my dad. He's on his third family now and he doesn't talk to the kids from the second family either. I tracked them down, then tracked him down. He changed his number. I rarely even think about that, but I wouldn't be surprised if someday when i did see him, a switch flipped and I beat his ass.

If it at all holds me back anymore it's because I just assume everyone is shitty manipulative selfish and deceitful and have a hard time making friends. 4chan doesn't help that. But anyway it's all only as significant as we make it. So my parents are dipshit children. And that's all it really is. I'm still gonna be a literature professor and make 70 grand a year to smoke weed, read books, then talk about it. Life is bretty gud.

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>>685701465
Just fucking stop.

>>685701465

A. Did the cookie get itself off, or did you have to help it?

B. Did the cookie have a penis?

C. Did you eat the whole hobo? Was he a normal sized hobo?

D. How long did it take you to eat said hobo?

Please respond.

>>685708102
Why? most straight men go through life with homophobic tendencies because they're scared they might like it. At least you know.

Ended up knocking up the one person I don't want to be with/have feelings for and now I'm just here sharing living space. On the plus side I have a beautiful daughter that I'm proud of and she makes it less shitty to be around her mom.

>>685708102
it's the 21st century bro. It's time you realized sexuality is not as simple as gay/straight. It's a vast and dense network of associations and experiences over years shaping what you enjoy and don't enjoy. We're all a little bisexual.

>>685708444

It's pretty ridiculous to explain, let alone imagine. I've either let it stop tearing me apart on the inside or just gotten used to it. But yeah I'm OK with liquids, according to my therapist I get triggered by any food that has been shoved down my throat... within that 7ish year span I literally can't eat anything anymore.

>>685708102
fuck it dude don't worry about it. if you're straight you're straight if you're gay you're gay what difference does it make what experiences you've had?

>>685709766
>>685707909

Damn man. That's trauma on a level I can't imagine. I'm the guy from a couple posts up with the fucked up mother. I may have ended up stabbing my father if i had your father.

>>685709766
you can survive pretty well on smoothies and protein shakes and shit. it's not a fun life and your bowel movements would be a nightmare but it's do-able.

also beer, packed full of carbs.

While not the worst thing I did overdose while on blogtv, they traced my location and sent paramedics. The viewers thought it was a suicide attempt but I actually just drank 1.5 liters of wine and downed 4 full bottles of robogels I came to with a catheter in my dick and they put me in a diaper.. My sister who already didn't think much of me came to visit me in the hospital for once, saw what my existence consisted of and took pity on me for once.

When I was like 10 I was friends with this 16 year old. We would watch porn and stuff, and one night we kinda felt eachother up and he ended up dryhumping me.

I didnt turn out gay but I dont really regret the experience so w/e

>>685708102
>>685710594
You two should talk

>>685710231

I've gotta fight it every day /b/ro. I moreso want to stab my mother because she keeps justifying it as "we stayed together for you." Which translates to the whole thing being my fault.

>>685710244

I've tried, those protein shake become fucking atrocious after awhile and the beer turned into an alcoholic issue really quick.

>>685710446
I'm pretty sure half of /b/ has ODed on robo before.

>>685710889
Ah yes. Mothers and mental martyr gymnastics.

>>685700573
I want to inspect these boobies

>>685704041
Max Klink?

>>685707379
I legitimately believe that in such a situation you or your girlfriend should have the right to kill that guy

>be 14
>have a friend same age don't know how but we started waking around naked wig each other watching porn
>grabs my dick started her jerking me off
>cum feels goodman
>eventually started sucking eacheck others dicks
>give more than I received didn't care
>now 7 years later still want to suck dick

Am I gay?

>>685711126
Nope.

>>685711198
Maybe to prevent the act from happening, harming him physically would be necessary and if it ended in his death, then welp, oh well. But a revenge killing? nah. Just a tactical castration right?

>>685711373
yes

>>685700573
Why had nobody asked the name of this semen demon?

Molested three separate times by my uncle when I was 5.
Directly exposed to a week old dead body when I was 11.
Beaten and forcibly fucked by my mom's friend when I was 12.
Dad tried to kill me when I was 19 after I tried to kill myself.

>>685702405
Kek

>>685711392
For me, if the people affected would be helped by a revenge killing, then fuck him let them cut him in to cubes.

I don't particularly care to share the planet with the kind of person who would do that.

>>685711655
You should write a book or get into forensic psychology. Clearly your experiences will give you a firm grasp on extreme pathologies.

>>685711791
I'm not smart enough for any of that

>>685711766
I prefer mine:>>685707592

I'd get much more pleasure knowing i've made an example of him for the next shitstain that tries to touch my girlfriend.

>>685710889
smoothies, bro. smoothies.

get a blender and some fresh stuff and you can mix and match. fruit, milk, nuts, some protein powders, honey, whatever works.

can make it taste much better than shitty protein shakes and you can vary flavours.

>>685704181
kek

>>685711938
Yes you are. You're just intimidated by the idea. Psychology degrees are easy. The math is just statistics. intervals of ten, decimals/fraction conversions, easy stuff. And the psychology itself is hardly even science as much as baseless speculation and learning to veil your pretense in undefined and interchangeable terminology and confirmation bias. And writing a book? If that stupid chick from "the office" can do it, so can you.

>>685704056

That's hot. You must be a total anal whore now.

What's the biggest thing you've had in your arse?

Pics.

>>685705674
>cause them to drop case and release me
she fucking better be in jail
you'd be if it was the other way around

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>>685700573
When I was almost 16 my 20 year old cousin cornered me in a washroom while at a family get together and fucked me.

She rode the shit out of me until I came in her, then never spoke a word of it until we were chatting this year at party, and she asked me if I wanted my dick sucked.

>>685712151

Taste isn't the point. Just the act of eating itself sends me into full panic mode. I can't even go into a kitchen without feeling like I'm going to get ripped apart just for being there. Glad I'm not a woman.

>>685703071
"tits or gtfo" applies not just to any woman, but for some woman who thinks she doesn't have to be interesting to get attention.
Fucking kids.

>>685704880

You're an evil genius anon, bravo.

>>685712694
if you were a woman anorexia would be more acceptable tho
#thinspo

>>685708575
good stuff

>>685712694
Enjoy being thin as fuck though. Women love a dude with a chiseled face and exposed ribs. It kicks in their nurturing instincts

>>685712816

HAH, too true /b/ro

>>685707219

Show pic of body.

>>685707379

Bullshit anon.

She wanted it, she just didn't want you knowing she wanted it.

Women are sluts like that.

>>685707615

99.9% of the population you sick faggot.

>>685711655
What happened with the story with the dead body?

>>685711655

Wat.

>>685712746

Newfag detected.

Tits or gtfo applies to all women.

When I was about 14, my mentally-disabled (not downs) cousin was staying at our house for the holidays. He stayed in my room and parents made me give him my bed. He got up in the middle of the night and started trying to get my boxers off. I laid there for a bit not knowing what to do, eventually I rolled over and he panicked thinking I was going to say something, but when he realised I was just laying there, he pulled my cock out and spent the next 20 minutes sucking me off. I shouldn't have let him do it but I was 14 and hadn't had any type of sexual contact ever. It just felt good blowing a load into someone's mouth instead of into my hand.