Thinking bout' selling my soul to the devil, thoughts?
Keep us updated every 6 months OP
>>685561706
it's a lot easier than you think
I too am curious about this. How does one go about selling your soul?
>>685561706
Going into politics, eh?
>>685561706
Why?
>>685561706
Hi Ghost Rider
>>685561706
First step is drink bleach
Second step post results
>>685561950
Oh anon, even if souls and the devil were real, there's no devil that would want your soul.
Does /x/ or /b/ have a tutorial about this?
Also dubs
>>685561706
All souls are worth saving.
But only SOME souls are worth buying.
If nobody has made you an offer, then congratulations your soul is as worthless as your faggot asshole.
>>685562256
Thread
>>685561706
You're on /b/. That automatically disqualifies you from having a soul.
>>685561706
He doesn't want your soul. He wants your boy hole
>>685561706
go /x/ fag
>>685561706
It's not yours to sell.
>>685561706
You don't need to "sell your soul" to Satan. Just ask him for help, give him loyalty, and let him guide you. Be patient and he just might hear you.
Keep in mind there are other Demons to ask for help like Beelzebub or Asmodeus.
A life of misery if much more bearable than an eternity in hell.
>>685562648
>Anon liked this post.
>>685562855
Not really. Those are the fallen ones; the bad guys.
>>685562256
kek
>>685562855
The Lord of the Flies is most definitely not one you should consult with. Just don't mess with that stuff. Leave it alone.
You will never get fair value...he gets em wholesale these days...
>>685561706
Don't do it. It's not worth it.
jokes on you. if you haven't repented and taken the lord jesus Christ as your savior he already gets your soul.
Would you like to live deliciously?
>>685563241
No matter how deep you are in the whole, repenting to the Lord Jesus Christ will always save you.
>>685561706
(666) 6666666
>>685561706
what do you think you would gain?
I'll buy your soul. How much do you want?
>>685562428
Yes, anon. This is a thread. Good observation.
>>685563341
yess. YAS. YAASS.
My bitches amv ecchi thx firewall
The fact you dont know the difference between hole and whole tells me your an idiot the fact you think you can covert someone on /b/ tells me your delusional also anons right not all souls are worth buying really the deal needs to come to you
>>685561706
rumor says she is a cool gal, or guy, if u are into that....give her a beer and have fun
>>685561706
There's no such thing as teh Devil.
>>685563488
/thread
>>685563750
keep telling yourself that
>>685561941
I did it, nothing happens. Maybe you have to be a true believer or some shit? OH MY G-
>>685561706
Well.. It worked out good for Robert Johnson so go ahead.
>>685563347
this
>>685561706
Selling your soul to an imaginary creature... sounds good.
>>685561706
Name your price
>>685564052
Anon, nothing would happen, not because their is no devil, but because he already owns most peoples souls, why pay for something he already has. Plus the devil only wants to bring pain and suffering. He could give two shits about making a deal.
>>685564474
It's not wise to talk to dead people.
>>685564622
wut?
https://hack.chat/?opbb
Don't do it OP. Interacting with devils and shit might actually cure some of your problems, but the shit that comes with it simply isn't worth it.
>>685561706
PARISH HERETIC
>>685565510
explain how this would cure anything? when has it ever cured anything for anyone?
>>685561706
The idea of selling your soul has nothing to do with the devil, it was added in from some german folklore shite
>>685561950
underrated post
What are you, like 12? You've been watching too many fucking, movies, man. You need to cut out all the bullshit, and start going outside more if you're planning on bartering your souls for the Devils dick. Seriously, your idea is of the imaginative type. Like playing a video game and thinking you're actually gaining something when you gain xp. It's not real, anon. It's not fucking, real. You need some more friends, and a boost in your self esteem so you can stop feeling like such a loser that you want to commit to mythological contracts.
>>685564364
fuckin saved
>>685561706
I like this picture, most people would see it as an evil entity fucking with a child. but imagine the creepy demon to just be misunderstood and the kid is one of the few who see past his appearance, and because of the kids big heart he has become her silent protector.
You think you're going to draw some huge pentagram and light some candles and chant some bullshit and "poof" one of satans colleagues is going to appear in a suit while he's wrapping up a phone call about a late appointment with his secretary? What the fuck, anon? You need to come back to your senses and get some friends, and get out there and get laid, man.
>>685562855
D&D much
Problem is OP, that it's a buyer's market. Outside of a fuckin nun, we're all so corrupted at this point, Satan will get you anyway. You try to sell your soul, you'll get a pack of gum for it.
>>685566547
i like this alot, though the same of it as i first saw it.
>>685561706
make him suck your dick first
>>685566590
Those demons were being written about way before d&d.
>>685565041
Last part of his sentence, summoning the devil had grave repercussions on him.
>>685561706
wish i had a person i could call to talk to
>>685561950
>underrated post
underrated post
>>685564474
This is anti-satanist propaganda.
We have actual commandments, and we covered rape and pedophilia. Our "churches" and websites do look kinda creepy in my opinion, though. Idk if you guys are trolling or not, but I think the idea of an all good god against an all evil devil is absurd.
>>685568359
>bunny confirmed rapist and satanist
>>685565750
It's called Faust you dumb fuck... And you're wrong, selling yiour soul is actually a rather common theme in many cultures...
>>685561941
In the US folklore tradition in the South is you should make your way to a remote crossroads past midnight, the devil will appear as a simple and unremarkable stranger standing in deep shadow. You shouldn't approach him and you should be chill throughout the conversation, otherwise you'll die right there or he'll leave without giving you anything... Either way, your soul is damned from the moment you purpose to actually seek him out.
Now, only retards believe that there's such a thing as the devil, that does include Christians...
>>685561706
Buddy. Take it from me.
You don't want to do such a thing.
No amount of drink will ever quench your thirst.
No amount of food will ever fill your hunger.
No amount of direction will ever grant you propose.
You will exist in in a state worse than death.
The suffering will never plateu, it just gets deeper.
Not even your loudest screams will bring you any sense of peace.
Once you lose grace under God, peace was, is, and never existed in you:
Absolute terror and despair.
Is this how you want to be?
>>685569608
I already live in detroit with a low paying job.
what else you got?
satanism is a meme, like all other religions
>>685570252
>in detroit
You're already in Hell.
>>685570252
There is worse.
Imagine the absolute worst.
Now imagine it infinitely unending.
Imagine begging to rest but never finding it forever.
Imagine suffering beyond the human body, beyond the depths of your heart, complete damnation.
There is worse.
Inconceivably worse.
>>685561706
Jesus already bought it
>>685569608
>God
>HE FELL FOR THE GOD MEME
>>685571365
I'm a 5'10 manlet. I already know those feels.
come @ us beaners, we have john mother fucking cena
>>685562256
>>685564222
Trips
>>685563241
>assuming modern day version of Christianity is even true
>>685571658
you too? well i'm lower in hell than you ....
5'6"
>>685564023
and u keep wasting your life praying to fake evil person and a skydwelling god who can't seem to do anything at all. lol
Have you ever suffered an injury and screamed so loud?
Do you remember how, no matter how much you expressed your pain, no one could truly empathize unless they experienced it for themselves?
Well, this description is the same thing.
It's screams warning you of the suffering second death brings.
It's no joke.
>>685571305
This.... so fucking much
>>685565714
it's a bunch of schizos thinking that talking to invisible voices in their head solves anything lol
>>685565912
THIS
>>685570252
H AS HA GUDWUN
>>685571789
Someone's eyes are open
None of the good books have proper English translations...
One thing I can tell you is they rarely make deals with men because you can pretty much break any pact by genuinely asking God for forgiveness which you probably will because the sorts of things that are interested in giving you something for your soul exist fully outside of the love of God and receive none of his blessings (Patience, Tempetance, Joy) so they are very difficult to deal with in any terms that would help you in your life unless you want to mess some shit up. They could definitely help you win that as far as I can tell that's mostly all they do.
Unbiased atheist bibliophile here btw
>>685571658
kek, i'm like 2meters tall and have a huge dick
>>685571877
ok, i'll bite on your dubs mr. christina.n.
wouldnt i acutally feel happier knowing that others have done the same thing and are suffering just as me. knwoing that they understand and have empathy as they are experiecning the same thing?
>>685572118
>None of the good books have proper English translations...
Why don't you read them in their original language if they're so god important to you?
>>685568359
You would be right
Angels have no free will, so everything they do is programmed
I once signed a blood contract with the trixter demon Loki. Got possessed by a lych for 2 weeks. Fuck fucin times! Had to end up purging the contract in a buddhist temple. Boy am I glad I did.
>>685571365
meh, this is the most retarded part of religion... So a guy was overall a kinda decent human being but smoked weed, jerked too much and didn't accept Christ as his personal saviour... God will, according to you, punish this individual not with years, decades or even centururies of pain but billions upon billions of lifetimes of the most gruesome and unimaginable torture? Really, that's your "merciful" God you sadist cucks? ETERNITY because you didn't properly repent fapping to traps before you died? What kind of Love is that? God creates a world filled with suffering but you can't enjoy it's pleasures and beauty because fuck you? You have to be a sheeple Christian or else... Yes, life with an all powerful being pointing a gun at your head the whole time, whispering love me or you will suffer,,,
And heaven isn't that good either, eternity as a kiss ass to this megalomaniac, praising him non-stop and in chastity, stone cold sober, FOREVER.
Fuck you theists are so stupid...
>>685572192
Well, if it is justified and right by God that's merely justice.
You seek justice?
God will teach you justice.
Many people called by God were poor.
Jesus himself lived a poor life too.
>>685572613
That propaganda from the church to keep you paying tithes
>>685572593
>demon Loki
>DEMON
>buddhist temple
>BUDDHIST
>>685572118
No, you're not a bibliophile, the devil in the old testament isn't anywhere near as what you describe, in fact God makes a pact with the devil... That fucking dare on Job? Man I think you're thinking more of Cthulu...
>>685572796
This
>>685572613
How would you define "decent"?
God is just.
He isn't heavy handed.
God is merciful.
If he is a decent guy, God will justifiably reward him so.
Honestly you're just as well off staring into a darkened mirror and chanting 'Bloody Mary'
Christ is an Amalgam.
Hell is a boogeyman to scare children.
The Christian God is characterized like a pin angsty teenager who needs to be told how great he is constantly or he curses you.
Hell isnt even in the bible, it's just another tactic, a scare tactic to brainwash children into Jesusing.
Just use the sigils from The Lesser Key of Salomon. I invoked a lot of demons, and it just werks.
>>685572798
What lol im serious
>>685573082
I don't think we're dealing with god anymore, its Jesus that has our "contract " now
>>685573299
Dubs, an this
>>685572990
...I'm almost quoting St. Anslem...
Surly you know of the 7 deadly sins?
I presume you don't remember the 7 divine virtues?
If one is trying to understand demons one first must understand what they are not.
And being removed from God's presence means they receive none of his charity. It's actually sad that no matter how many souls they win or how many men they corrupt and kill they will never be able to feel happy about it. As happiness is derived from Joy which is a representation of God's charity.
Not my beliefs, certainly, but I have a particular passion for mythology
>>685573214
>im serious
IM SERIOUS
>>685573585
Awe come on
>>685573593
>>685569250
this
>>685572796
It's called canon, not propaganda. The existence of hell is dogma for the overwhelming majority of Christian denominations, do you even religion dude?
Yeah, that chill God that requires no worsip and does not punish with hell exists only in the minds of hippies and other pseudo pantheists, if I wanted to drink some kool-aid I would at least go with something more sublime like Spinoza's, at least that doesn't require mental gymnastics to justify the very real suffering of the inocent (eg chikldren) on this planet...
>>685573849
Spinoza is a bit modern for my taste, but I skimmed his Wikipedia page and will probably have to check out Ethics. I really don't want to learn Portuguese, but SO MUCH is lost in translations especially when it comes to spirituality and philosophy.
Anyhow thanks for the recommend.
>>685573544
Why not quote Calmet if you want to get into the metaphysics of evil? The problem with omnipotence is nothing can exist apart from God, try some St Thomas Aquinas... Which still doesn't quite cover my original argument that God does interact with the devil in the bible...
As an atheist to another, you must grant me religion is childishly inconsistent, in Revelations the devil isn't just bound to God's power but does his bidding and obeys his commands...
>>685573849
So Jesus died for nothing?
Seems to me he said he won, got the keys to death an hell, an to say i have to believe or else, limits a god that has no limits, well according to the bible
>>685573849
>hell
is the name of the witch that lives in the underworld in nordic mythology... before christianity
>>685569608
This is already my feeling. I am hunger incarnate. I drink and I am thirsty. I am full but I hunger. I fuck and I'm thinking about my next fuck. I gain material goods and wealth and I am unhappy.
>>685573082
decent as in someone who doesn't fucking harm others... Hell is no justice you maniac, it's the ultimate heavy handed psychotic over reaction, what's the use of teaching someone beyond rehabilitation a lesson?
>>685572613
this
>>685565912
if you dont believe it then you wouldnt mind trying it, would you?
>>685561706
It's just as real as selling your soul to Jesus.
>>685574423
Because angels don't have free will, an the "bad guys" are just fallen angels, so the still working for god
>>685574644
Dubs don't lie
>>685561950
kek
>>685561950
Underrated post is underrated
>>685563019
Just because they oppose the "god" doesn't mean they're the bad guys.
They're two opposing political factions, neither of them is "good" or "bad", and any book that claims otherwise is simply propaganda, nothing more.
>>685561706
watch 'the witch' (2015) for a quick tutorial of sorts
>>685572613
>>685572796
kek, brilliant
>>685575309
listen pleb, in christianity the greatest sin isn't raping, killing, pillaging, but opposing god.
the dumbshit you would think is important doesn't start until 6-8
christianity is fucking stupid, it's undeniable(same goes for all other religion, islam too)
1. You shall have no other gods before Me.
2. You shall not make idols.
3. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.
4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
5. Honor your father and your mother.
6. You shall not murder.
7. You shall not commit adultery.
8. You shall not steal.
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
10. You shall not covet.
>>685575462
Best Satan ever
>>685575640
5-10 seem more like common sense. 1-4 Seem more like, "worship me or else!"
>>685574256
Yes, and you can't understand the Quran unless you read Arabic... Man, have some respect for scholarship, reading something in the original is preferable but not a requisite, a critical edition with well written contextual footnotes is preferable to reading a book in the original without the proper anthropologic, social, historical background... To understand Spinoza takes years as you're assumed to understand classical (Greek) philosophy and require quite a few other lectures on top of that... Some books, like St Thomas' Summa take years to read just on their own, nevermind in the original or that only someone with a doctorate holds the appropiate background... Try Milton if what interests you is mythology, otherwise just pick up an edition of Spinoza with the Cliff notes already in it...
Wonder what else they would take for a deal, like could i offer a pen instead
I remember growing up as a Christian and going to church with certain relatives, I thought the bigger, more impressive/expensive someone's Bible was, meant that they were a 'higher level' Christian. Like, you needed to reach a certain level to get a Bible with gold-trimmed pages, a case with pockets, peppermints, and such.
It was in my teen-years that I started playing Runescape, and stopped being a Christian.
what if you already sold your soul to a buddy in high school for a turkey sandwich?
>>685576028
Lol like you switch places with the pen a the last min
The thing with black magic...is that it reflexes back on you. To sell your soul to a lord of lower spawn and frequency is not a good idea. Bad thimgs will happen to you. How do I know? I've read ancient texts.
Sold mine for a bag of sour skittles
>>685576388
Your fucked
>>685561706
I hate to tell you, but your soul was sold a long time ago, along with every other on this world.
What are you going to do with the tree fiddy your soul is worth?
>>685574463
The keys to heaven were given to St Peter and his succesors, if you want to get literal then everyone not in comunion with the Pope is doomed to hell...
And it is actually the New Testament that introduces the concept of hell, so yeah apparently Jesus did die for nothing...
And it's not surprising given how so called Christians so gleefully scorn his message of non violence, renouncing material wealth and not judging others... You really have to be psychotic to believe that the cancer that is American conservatism was in any way influenced by Christianity... And this is coming from an atheist...
>>685576538
darn.. it was good though
>>685576387
>It was in my teen-years that I started playing Runescape, and stopped being a Christian.
>Runescape
>>685576600
Nice double dubs of truth.
>>685576600
I'm thinking arbeys
>>685576741
It made sense at the time, kek
>>685561706
Careful bro. I accidentally cut myself on those edges.
>>685576387
i found EvE online and never went back to church, the russians would try to invade early in the morning
>tfw i sold my soul for internet spaceships
>>685574839
If you follow that logic was the devil ordered to rebel? And he's being punished for doing something he was forced to do? And God put this little theater so he could justify evil coming from a source other than him?
I'm so glad I don't believe any of this shit...
>>685576662
See i believe that to be part of the propaganda, i feel that if Jesus was in some way god then his death paid for all "sin", an that any part of religion that has you doing something out of fear of losing favor with "god " is of man
>>685561706
Be sure to get something cool for it
>>685576979
stick it up in your asshole, where your post belongs
>>685577128
Deep space kind of drove me out of Christianity, too. One question I've always asked the...church, but was never answered was,
>if Armageddon happens, and all life on Earth is destroyed like the Bible says, what about life on other planets? Like, if you're a human and you're on a planet 20,000 lightyears away when it happens, do you just suddenly...die?
Also one has to consider billions of galaxies with billions of stars, and an untold number of planets around those stars (each of which vary). Whose to say their established religions are correct or incorrect compared to this 2000 year old one?
>>685577141
Yea pretty much, its the whole you wouldn't know good with out bad kinda thing, it all just a experiment
>>685577532
lol fuck if i know, i think a lot of it is bogus but christianity is probably the closest we've come to figuring out god, if for no other reason than living by the 7 deadly sins will make you miserable and living by the 7 virtues will make you happy, if you're anything close to an actual human being.
>>685577701
Spoken as a true god
>>685577344
The problem is if you follow that then you no longer need morality (eg salvation through works) and you get Christanity lite (eg Sola Fide) which is basically most Protestant denominations... You can be a fucking serial pedo rapist but as long as you believe JC has your back...
How can sell my soul to the devil for a gf /b/ros?
>>685561706
Considering this is /b/, he's already got it.
>>685578468
>>685578447
doesn't sound like you're ready for one nutsack
>>685578343
Im not shure you even have to believe, but yea, why put limits on a being that not supposed to have any,my being a sin make no change that he sacrificed him son for all not just the true believers
>>685563707
You're * an idiot not Your lol
>>685578071
Seriously? Being a lazy, sex addicted foodie with a temper problem, bad tipping habits, some issues of wanting what others have and whole lot of self esteem seems to be MUCH better an existence than being a virgin on a permanent diet, who's always working and on the move, never gets upset nor covets, gives to charity most of what he earns and doesn't even take pride in managing the ridiculous demands of his pathetic convictions... Oh yes, by all means let's celebrate our pathetically bland existence with prayer...
>>685578447
I think you want a sucabus
>>685579585
calmer than you are dude
>>685578071
I guess I'm not a human than.
>>685579585
This
>>685578763
yeah, not believing kinda puts you outside religion... Let's not get carried away here...
Who said that ? The bible says that you can accept god a any time and he will allways hear you and save you, simple as that is never too late
>>685579771
>>685561706
Tried it, he doesn't answer Anon.
>>685579909
How does how i feel,think, affect god, you are still putting limits on a being that has none
When people are willing to be evil for free, why should the devil pay for it?
That's like being in college with all the free pussy flying at you and going out to pay for a hooker.
>>685580322
Dubs =truth
>>685571789
This dude woke as fuck.
>>685561706
what are you 12? even if u believe in it its a shitty deal
>>685580659
Yea its like a monkey's paw kind of thing
>>685561706
Joke's on you, devil already took it.
Hi, I'm Murry, owner of Murray's Soul Emporium. Have you got a soul you are no longer using? If you do, don't sell it to Satan. He won't give you a fair price for it. Besides he's the devil. Bring it down to Murry's instead. I'll give you the most for any used soul. And best of all, no eternity in Hell.
>>685580774
Lol it works for both sides
Wealth in heaven, shit life now
Wealth now, shit after life
>>685580986
How much we talking about
ABSOLUTLY THIS
>>685581019
FREAKING THIS
>>685561706
Help, how do I sell my sole for a succubus gf
>>685581456
Try x/
>>685581113
It's a scam dude, it's eternity in a sweatshop... Full disclosure I work for a Murray's competitor so I know the business... Beware of eternity of sensual pleasure clauses, it's code for you'll be sexually exploited by some very ugly people...
>>685581770
Thanks for looking out b/ro
>>685561706
Both the Devil and souls are not real, even if they were, you're a user of 4chan, this means the devil will be expecting you anyway and will offer you nothing.
You're a certainty for hell, if there was one, which there is not.
>>685572192
Bro that's just the military. We all get nut punched together by our nco's lol
>>685581113
Don't listen to >>685581770
Here at Murray's we will give you above Bluebook for you used soul. Be sure to stop by on Memorial Day for our once a year Soulabration Extravaganza. There will be carnival rides, and hot dogs for the kids.
>>685582097
Knowledge is my butter knife, Wisdom is my nerf gun
>>685582813
how much can I get for my 7 yo's soul?
He's a good boy, goes to church every sunday, eats his vegetables and does his homework.
>>685582995
Bring him down, we'll have a look at him. People ask why I can offer more than Satan for the same soul. Simple, low overhead. Have you seen hell? It takes a lot of power to keep it running. Not only that, but where is Hell anyway? Not in America, I'll bet. I pass the savings on to you.
>>685581456
>form demonic pact
>submit yourself to becoming a cuck and not actually getting any
so basically continue using 4chan
>>685561706
is he still in business?
>>685562648
>>685562648
Ily
>>685584426
>>submit yourself to becoming a cuck and not actually getting any
>cuck
Nevermind, I knew there'd be a catch.
>tfw never will get succubus poontang
>>685585445
Did you honestly think a demon explicitly designed to prey upon feelings of lust and desire would settle on just one man?
>>685585741
Yes
>>685583833
More than satan's rates for a kid that's over a full decade away from voting age? And you think this isn't a scam?
>>685563465
30 billion USD
That is 30,000,000,000 United States dolors.
And A life no less than the age of 75 years old.
>>685586249
Dollar*
>>685573106
not to mention that satan didn't enter christian canon until like the 11th century or something
>>685586249
How much you think a soul costs this day? I get thousands from african kids by the hour.
>>685586502
Thats how much I'm asking take it or leave it fag. I'm better than anything you'll ever get.
>>685586922
dubs means it has to be true.
>>685586404
I would sell my soul to become a skeleton
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hod0WtYE4SA
>>685579704
/thread
If you're lucky you will only get poltergeist that walks right after you slowing your down in dreams that you probably don't remember and torture you near the morning with form changing demon that gonna change to everything you love and put you through worst emotional situations you can imagine with lots of hauntings. Forget about being sane, all the day shit tones of metal will bi scratching your head, one occasionally will live a mark on your forehead... Riding you insane because you will be noticing everything that's sick on daily basis...
No big deal...
occasionally you became everything you desire and believe because you brain will find out a way out of this situation and solve it by changing your personality to the one that could solve this idea then may you turn back to your old live with all of things you learned but forget about getting out of this situation.
Enjoy your life of pain
>>685561706
How do you even get in contact with him? What's his phone number/email?
okay so if you actually believe this stuff just think the devil doesnt want to be your friend and he wont feel sympathy for you, he would gladly watch you burn in hell forever so like nah it sounds gay af
>>685564364
I love it when unholy scripture is written by people who can't spell for shit..
>>685588095
Every time you'd feel sane all the process start over again just in remind that's not your life any more
yup that's how it works
