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ITT we all live in a shitty apartment together
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 234
Thread images: 42
ITT
we all live in a shitty apartment together
>>
>>685057522
dammit frank those were my dubs
>>
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i'm making a grilled cheese, anyone want?
>>
>>685057522
WILL YOU DO THE GODDAMN DISHES!? They have been sitting in the FUCKING sink for a FUCKING week.
>>
>>685057858
FUCK OFF RANDY IT WAS TODD'S JOB BUT HE GOT WASTED 3 WEEKS AGO AND NOW HE'S MISSING
>>
>>685057795
Here plz
>>
We need a fapping schedule tbh
>>
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>>685057795
ooh me!
put a little ham in mine
>>
>>685058022
dubs confirm guys
>>
GUYS HOLY SHIT I WAS TAKING OUT THE TRASH AND ONE OF THE UNEATEN APPLES CAME TO LIFE
>>
>>685057985
YOU KNOW DAMN WELL TODD DIDN'T MAKE MAC AND CHEESE
>>
>>685058133
I say, double fap monday to friday
>>
Why is my laptop sticky?
>>
>>685058375
blame >>685058304
>>
>>685058333
Triple fap fridays
>>
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>>685057522
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHKHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
>>
>>685058375
Don't ask me! You brought that "chick" over last night dude. You told me there would be no traps, you fuck!
>>
>>685058333
Trips confirm.

I'm just gonna fap when I shower.
>>
So, when are you gonna pay me back for helping you with the rent?
>>
Where's Phil? He owes me $20
>>
>>685058496
four time fap friday
>>
>>685058631
I think he got hit by a train
>>
>>685058602
Just let me get back on my feet. You know its been hard
>>
>>685058676
Fuck it.

FRIDAY FAP BONUS X10 exp rate.
>>
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DERICK! Seriously, would you wash your post cum undies. We all have to share, dude.
>>
>>685058734
You just bought a brand new laptop...
>>
>>685057522
Do you mind if I borrow your cum rag?
>>
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>>685058734
losing the lottery and getting dumped by some girl you met on tinder after 2 shitty dates does not require someone to "get back on their feet" you big baby
>>
>>685058454
>>685058304
WHAT THE FUCK DAVID? WHY IS MY LAPTOP STICKY? HAL SAID YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT!
>>
Someone do the fucking dishes. I haven't even eaten anything but pizza since last Friday.
>>
>>685058899
eh sure but don't ask about the red stuff in there
>>
>>685059007
do them yourself you lazy nigger
>>
>>685058976
You know I loved her.
>>
>>685059007
Fine, fuck! You owe me for this, james!
>>
>>685059202
fine then, what did you love about her?
>>
>>685059202
But you're not capable
>>
do any of you wanna play csgo? i kicked my dumb ex out so there's 2 left over laptops on the table
eagle up please no retards
>>
>>685059164
>>685059232
I don't owe shit to nobody. If I made some goddam dishes maybe then I would do the dishes.
>>
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Okay guys FUCKING /b/ro-circle this maid she's like italian or some shit she was at the door when I woke up in the lawn and god knows none of you basterds have girlfriends, I just told her to wait until I come back. She looks like she might be pretty strong but I think we might be able to take her

I'll grab the duct tape and scissors someone go grab some isopropyl alcohol or some shit she looks like she can take a beating and need to ensure a complete knockout
>>
>>685059503
shooter games are dumb, you need to play games with meaning like undertale!
learn more about it on my tumblr blog! lol XD
>>
>>685059686
Who let the fucking furry in our apartment
>>
>>685059658
sorry man but JAMES >>685059629
SHOVED SCISSORS UP HIS ASS LIKE THE FIGGER NAGGOT HE IS
>>
this is the most cramped apartment i have ever been in. OP is a faggot for not buying us someplace bigger.
>>
>>685059375
that fat ass and her dead tooth
>>
>>685059629
But I saw you use the fucking microwave all last week without cleaning it out, faggot! That oily pizza of yours went everywhere!
>>
>>685059906
got a problem fuckface you're not even paying rent until 6 months from now
>>
I'm gonna do the dishes, man
>>
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>>685059503
Yeah uh I'll play just let me hook this shit up to your controller that /sci/ made for me, it'll uh... it gives you special powers or something!

[This redditfag ass mothafacka finna get electrocuted]
>>
>>685060062
I ordered some soap online like 30 minutes ago so you might have to wait
fuck going outside i just used amazon for that shit
>>
>>685057795
Yeees
>>
>>685059658

But we need some one to do the fucking dishes.
>>
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Hey guys? Im brining the pic relates over.
Anyone wana gang bang her she is down for it.
>>
>>685060180
anon what the fuck is that
you use a keyboard and mouse for cs
>>
>>685060244
I said I'm gonna do the fucking dishes
>>
>>685060180
Chill out osama
>>
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i hope no one touches my box when I leave
>>
IM SICK OF YOU FUCKS EATING MY PROTEIN POWDER! IVE TOLD YOU FAT FUCKS THAT SHIT IS MINE!
>>
>>685059686
Sorry, this isn't a safe space
>>
>>685059954
Dammit that was Dan
I told him not to make the fucking meth in the apartment
>>
>>685060282
Yeah, but I have crabs, if that's fine
>>
>>685060470
you think we keeping track of who's shit is who's? nigger put a fucking sticker on it
>>
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>>685060408
oops
>>
Guys?? I dropped and broke a dish so watch your step.
>>
>>685060493
Dan needs to kick down if he's making Meth, told that junkie that if he's gonna be cooking, he needs to ante up
>>
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>>685060674
OHSHITNIGGERWHATAREYOUDOING
>>
mindy, stop leaving your used tampons under my pillow
>>
>>685060534
What are their names?
>>
>>685060674
I think you need to go
>>
>>685060879
wait a gurl lives here?
>>
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Guys check out what I found!
>>
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>>685060674
Jokes on you, cats go in your corner now
>>
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>>685060728
these retards don't have a vacuum cleaner, so deal with it
>>
>>685060989
fuck off muhammed
>>
>>685060756
If you're telling me he's started using then I want him out of the damn apartment before he starts pawning my shit. He's not gonna sell that shit to anybody.
>>
>>685060989
bullshit I saw you carrying that fucker in
>>
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>>685059906
REEEEEEEEEEEE I KNEW I SMELLED NORMIE HERE

DOGPILE COMMENCE I REPEAT DOGPILE COMMENCE
>>
>>685061151
HEY DON'T CALL PEOPLE RETARTED ITS OFFENSIVE TO THE MENTALLY HANDICAPPED
WHY DO YOU CIS WHITE MALES TRIGGER ME SO MUCH WHY!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!
>>
What happened,I passed out .
I shouldn't have eaten that pizza in my pocket
>>
>>685061344
You can take your undertale shit and leave, furry
>>
>>685061195
I've told you a million times, I'm fucking Sergei, Jesus fucking Christ.
>>
>>685060909
Spengbab and spoodermeng
>>
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Guys I just found this in our closet...
>>
>>685061344
we're all retarded in this house
>>
>>685060989
Anyone gonna push that little button in the side?
>>
Cool, kick me out, see if I fucking care. I've been cumming in the gallon of milk ever since you bitched at me when I drank from it. How'd you like 14 months of Honeycum, bitch?
>>
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>>685061321
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
PREPARING TO ENGAGE
>>
>>685061507
So...whose going first?
>>
>>685061593
jokes on you faggot i drink the soy milk container
>>
>>685057522
Guys why the fuck is my dick purple
>>
>>685061499
don't you mean goat fucking allah you sand nigger
>>
>>685061507
Oh shit, don't enter there
>>
>>6850611I don't know how to use a mop though
>>
>>685061507
ill go.......
>>
>>685061507
sorry my gnome relatives moved in
>>
We're out of toilet paper
>>
Who left their fucking piss jug on the floor?
>>
>>685061813
Use the newspaper
>>
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>>685061661
The key is wrapped around the slaves neck
>>
>>685061696
blame Sergai the sand nigger
>>
>>685061767
God Michael you're so fucking stupid, wanna split 50/50 and buy a vacuum cleaner?
>>
>>685061783
Tell us what you find
>>
>>685061593
>>685061695
You guys didn't realize?? Literally everyone both uses the "milk" and "soymilk" containers as a cum dispenser to beat that one russian guy

Jesus you guys must be some professional faggots.
>>
>>685061966
Fucking sergei
What did you do to my dick
>>
>>685061833
Oh that's mine. Just drink it and leave the empty jar by the PC.
>>
>>685061833
I think it was Phil, or whatever fuck is his name
>>
EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP
IM TRYING TO MASTURBATE
>>
>>685061961
I've seen enough rekt threads to know where this goes
>>
>>685061234
I'm inclined to agree

Let's kill him and take his product
>>
>>685060674
>>685060959
no for real

anon

wed ALL be better off if you just fucking left
>>
>>685057795
Can we watch some lin entertainment https://youtu.be/QTcf0ujFG7A
>>
>>685062008
Jokes on you, I only drink milk straight from the udder.
>>
>>685062008
faggot literally no one touched the minifridge where I keep my soy milk in weeks
is this another rumor that you and Jones are spreading around like the last time with the chicken wings that you supposedly rubbed it on your asscrack?

no ones falling for it anymore cumface
>>
>>685062249
THE CUM DISPENSERS ARE FULL
NO
>>
>>685061967
I'm broke so it's all on you
>>
open the sour cream
the sourest
>>
>>685057522
Guys I found dubs
>>
WHERE THE FUCK AM I, LAST THING I REMEMBER WAS WALKING IN THE PARK AND NOW I'M MISSING A SHOE AND MY LEFT THUMB
>>
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>>685062540
Greatest thread
>>
The landlord found out we all trap and wants us to work off the rent increase, but he doesn't wash under his foreskin?

Anyone got mouthwash?
>>
>>685062695
Maybe I should thank you for the thumb
>>
Guys, where the fucking hell is my Payday bar!?
>>
>>685062467
What makes you think i got money for a vacuum cleaner? hold up

HEY FAGGOTS WE NEED A VACUUM CLEANER DONATE SO WE CAN CLEAN THE MESS MICHAEL DID WITH THE DISHES
I JUST NEED 100 I PAY THE REST
>>
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where the fuck did my spider go
>>
I'm home who wants to play mario kart?
>>
>>685062843
I'll give whatever is in my pocket
>>
>>685062797
OK WHERE THE FUCK IS MY SHOE
>>
>>685062695
Phil you really need to stop doing molly and fucking clean up your piss jugs
>>
>>685062848
I set it on fire for /b/ then flushed it down the shitter.
>>
Guys, can we PLEASE stop fapping in the shower. It took me 3 hours to unclog it.
>>
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>>685061992
OH SHIT who let her live back here???
>>
>>685062848
I ate it
>>
>>685062848
That explains my purple dick.
>>
>>685062985
You should talk to Phil about that
>>
>>685062843
Can't we just take it and run out of the store?
>>
>>685063064
>It took me 3 hours to unclog it.

If you used a plunger like a normal human instead of licking the drain it would unclog a lot quicker.
>>
>>685062985
I SAID WHERE THE FUCK IS MY SHOE
I WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE 10 MINUTES AGO ASSHOLES
>>
>>685062970
alright just pass the sheckels to me and make sure Sergei the fucking muslim doesn't grab it before me
>>
>>685063064
It's either the shower, or all over your bed. You choose.
>>
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Starting the swear jar to make us communicate better
>>
>>685063012
MY NAMES DAVID JACKASS I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU PEOPLE
>>
>>685062731
i needed to see that again.
>>
>>685063256
I call profits
>>
>>685063256
Here's a fifty. Start a credit account, fucker
>>
>>685063256
what the fuck am I gunna do with money that's not green you britbong faggatrong
>>
>>685063256
You can take that jar and go fuck yourself.
>>
>>685063348
Save it, it's all yours my friend
>>
>>685063240
There are like 5 buttons and two triple a batteries, I guess this is a 20 dollar bill
>>
>>685063220
Plunger, I had to fucking snake the damn thing out. And last time I checked they don't make a drain cleaner strong enough to eat through rancid old jizz.

And who the fuck drank my beer?!
>>
>>685063443
That was yours?
>>
>>685063162
Ok where's Phil
>>
>>685063256
Fuck off Jerry not everyone went to a catholic school and I know damn well if you make me put a dollar in there I'll tell your dad that you clop
>>
>>685063615
He's at a gay orgy.
>>
>>685063409
You shoulda given those 50 to the vacuum cleaner fund
>>
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>>685063429
>>
>>685063775
Oh for fucks sake, I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT HERE
>>
>>685063775
I thought he was with Dan
>>
>>685057522
SHITTER'S CLOGGED
>>
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Hey guys. I got some uranium from a "syrian refugee" downstairs. Can someone hold it for me for a few hours while I go out?
>>
>>685063834
Thanks for joining us tonight Bill.
>>
>>685058133
check'd
>>
>>685063901
They're both at the orgy.
>>
>>685063929
For fucks sake, I just unclogged that thing
>>
where's uh..... what.. which one you niggas ordered some chronic
>>
Me and my jacob sheep will be digging a inground pool out back. Anyone who helps me can fuck the sheep, she's in heat.
>>
STOP FUCKING TORRENTING FOR FIVE GODDAMN MINUTES SO I CAN SHOW THIS FAGGOT ONLINE MY GANONDORF SKILLS!
>>
>>685064077
God damnit, guess we have to wait
>>
>>685064144
I'm purposely torrenting so you can't do that. For glory is actually for faggots
>>
>>685058225
My bad.
>>
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>>685064082

Like I keep saying, we need to make a fap schedule. The plumbing can handle the load....er loads.
>>
Michael i got the vacuum cleaner, go clean the fucking kitchen
>>
>>685064328
FUCK YOU GARY, JUST CAUSE YOU SUCK WITH FUCKING CLOUD DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO THUNDERFUCK THE ENTIRE INTERNET!
>>
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just picked up this bad boy, no one is allowed to play it
>>
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>>685064144
You're shit at Ganon. Now stop getting your cheeto dust on Dave's fucking controller.
>>
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Does this belong to anyone?

I found her rocking in the fetal position in the narnia room
>>
>>685064527
Well good thing there aren't any games for i..........DAMN IT TO FUCK THE INTERNET DIED AGAIN!!!!!!!!!
>>
>>685064382
Ok then, the names that start with A trough K will fap from monday through Wednesday, and the names from L to Z from Thursday to sunday
>>
>>685064614
The cocaine's Daves. I don't fucking know who she is though.
>>
>>685064714
She's my gym friend
>>
>>685064614
Yeah man that's totally mine... So uh... just go ahead and I'll take her no need for any further questions and uh... we don't need to tell anyone about his either.
>>
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>>685064144
>>685064614
>>685061344
>>685059658
>>685064714
All of you FUCKING FREEEZE!!
>>
>>685064846
Fuck you george. We both know you're fat as fuck.
>>
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>>685064614
fuck off she is mine
>>
>>685064382
Um so if im the only one jizzin out the window why the grass dead outside all of them?
>>
>>685064965
George's the faggot in the computer, I'm Derek
>>
>>685064944
Finally officer, I don't know where I am or how I got here
>>
>>685065091
Fuck I thought I was the only one
>>
My names Calvin and I just moved in. Anything I should know before I start smoking weed and snorting adderal?
>>
>>685064944
You don't got the rights to come in here man. I've been clean for eight years man I don't care what those papers say I was just in the wrong place man. And those pipes aren't even mine those are my buddy's I thought he was clean too he must be lying to me man.
>>
>>685065149
Oh. You're /fit/ as fuck.
>>
>>685064944
nah nigga im good
>>
>>685065188
Shut up, David
>>
Swear jar bro here, maybe it's not such a great idea. Please don't kick me out guys I'm just trying to ehhh umm fucking be like u guys
>>
>>685065240
only do that in Jason's room, we don't want your shit smell around the house
>>
>>685064133
I got shovels, um.... i got this bag of sweetpotato fries for the first volunteer.
>>
>>685065240
We keep the crystal maraguanas in the cupboard, feel free to inject a few of those.
>>
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Which one of you touched my god damn laptop.
>>
>>685065240
You got the wrong apartment buddy. That's the apartment, uhhh, downstairs.
>>
Guys I think Jared hung himself in the pantry.
>>
>>685065402
Oh shit bro i'm the cs guy, is yours one of the spare ones i got? just take the right one cuz the other one got my nudes
>>
>>685065240

1. Rent money is due on the last day of the month.

2. Don't jizz in the shower, its clogs the pipes.

3. Don't touch Allan's burritos.
>>
>>685065402
I wanted to watch some porn
>>
>>685065470
Let's hope he left this world on an empty stomach
>>
>>685065381
Thanks b0ss >>685065373
Why Jasons room?
>>
>>685065470
God fucking dammit. I kept my portable meth lab in there.
>>
>>685065470
god fucking dammit he owed me 2 bucks
>>
>>685065402
shit.
>>
>>685065193
Whoo thats a relif i was watering the narcissus and thought they were growing slime mold.
>>
>>685065470
God damnit, he owed me some weed
>>
Greetings, citizens. I heard there was a vacancy in this apartment. Where shall I put my stuff?
>>
>>685065240
Basic financing.
>>
>>685065324
Fuck off I don't know you
>>
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>>685065699
FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING FANBOY BOOT LICKING CUM DUMPSTER!!!!!!!!
>>
>>685065699
We keep our stuff in the front yard so the neighbors thing we're having a yard sale. This is how we recruit new roommates
>>
>>685065794
I borrowed your God damn thumb
>>
Any of you guys seen Miguel around?
I let him borrow my propane and some cold medicine and some baking soda and I really need that baking soda back for my son's birthday cake.
>>
>>685065557
Use my laptop its a hotspot. Maybe yano you could cum on the screen camera.
>>
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>>685065557
>>685065534
you can always use the desktop in the corner over there
>>
>>685066051
go away eugene
>>
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....hey guys um Jared had a treasure map in his pocket when I found him
>>
>>685066154
oh shit mane
>>
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>>685065919
THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE YOU CUM GUZZLING MOTHER FUCKING FUR FAG
>>
>>685066154
Well fuck I'm getting a ticket to Caustic Cave.
>>
>>685065552
Fuck you, don't tell me where I can and can't cum. I'll cum wherever the fuck I want
>>
Good news everyone, I think we're finally going to get FIOS at the house.
>>
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>>685066154
GIVE IT TO ME I'LL KILL YOU REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>685066298
The fuck is FIOS
>>
>>685066154
That guy was a crazy son of a bitch, tried to talk to me about "inference waves" and "new world postulate order" and some weird shit.
Probably just one of his crazy rantings.
>>
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Can someone clean these dirty ass fucking dishes? I'm tired of staring at them
>>
>>685066051
Im feeling good about getting renters insurance at the moment.
>>
>>685066421
Trash disguised as not trash
>>
>>685066421
Premium dildo shipments.
Dave loves them.
>>
For the love of God, will one of you disgusting faggots clean the toilet? I mean, Jesus.
>>
>>685066507
Then look at something else dickbag
>>
>>685066154
Box bro here. Made my room into a boat. I can hold 3, ready when you guys are. Off to caustic cove
Thread replies: 234
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