>>684876450
In a church confession booth.

School, in class. Made sure the girl next to me noticed.

Childrens library

Does anyone else think that ethan is just a fag?

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>>684876450
On my penis

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>>684876573
there is always that one kid

>>684876653
Yes

>>684876653
no it's just you

@work

>>684876450
ur mom

>>684876450
city bus or under a blanket next to my sister

geography exam

>>684876730
Nigga pls. Year's almost over anyways.

>>684876751
Its not just him. His social commentary is basic bullshit at best. Shit thats been said time and time again. He is just leddits e cleleb

in da butt

>>684876450
soft play area for kids

I can't think of weirdest place I've fapped but I was just about to start up a thread "weirdest place you've taken a shit" so when I saw this I thought hey why not combine.

So weirdest place was a backyard swing set on one of the swings. I'd hate to be the kid who lived there getting home from school that day.

high school geometry. what the fuck was wrong with me. i did it through my pocket and had to go to the bathroom and scrape jizz out of the inside of my shorts.

not really weirdest, but most dangerous to getting caught...

fapped at work (in an office) on a slow day. had my pants fully down and everything. never got caught. win.

>>684876860
How old is she?

>>684876450

in the closet of an empty condo my dad was renovating.

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>>684876450
In tractor's front end loader.

>>684877245
I think she was 20 at the time, I was 19. Sorry to disappoint

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On the floor of my school bathroom. I used to only jerk off prone and just humped my backpack when no one was in there and came in my boxer-breifs and smelt like semen for the rest of the day. Right after i came i ate in there. Becasue no one liked me.

>>684877245
9

>>684876450

At work, when I was 20.

>front desk security
>lobby of call center
>fapped under desk
>female applicants sitting in front of me
>came on floor

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>>684877431

>>684876689
You sick fuck.

On the floor of a church bathroom, while a service was still going on outside.

>>684876689
No way

At my fathers funeral.

In the woods fapping to yiff on my phone, while tripping hard on acid
No regrets

In Lake Erie while dich was underwater

>>684877764
Yolo, son. Yolo.

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>>684876689
dude wtf

Grandmas bedroom while looking in the mirror.

When I was a milfag, I had a relatively high security clearance. I had plenty of Top Secret wanks.

>>684877898
of course you do faggot

>>684877793
Ayyyeee I live in Erie. Got that poop dick now.

In a forest while playing paintball with my friends.

Bathroom during a party with tons of family outside. Hurts to just think about it.

>>684876450
Idk I've never masturbated before

Bathroom on an airplane. Skymall, motherfucker.

>>684876653
You are fag

Elementary school bathroom while tutoring kids

>>684878166
I'm not sure whether this is bait or a faggot

>>684877370
Nah, still hot. Just not as hot as if she was >>684877431

>>684876450
faped in friend house
>whith his mother panties
>>684877099
Shited in the street while friends were a block far from where i was

I was sharing a hotel room with my family and I was sleeping next to my sister trying not to wake her up.

Random people's backyard shed, I go on my phone and watch porn

>>684876450
In a sleeping bag on the hood of a military vehicle in the middle of the fucking desert.

What? I was trying to keep warm.

>>684878031
Wat

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>>684876450
the Andes mountains. my high school class went there and one day me and some classmates were climbing a small mountain. at some point i said i was tired so i went down. suddenly i realized i was alone in a mountain so i decided to pull my pants down a masturbate furiosly thinking of a model from my country. i came a very big load and it was beautiful, i felt in the top of the world.

>>684876450
6th grade class, and lunch.
I wanked the whole way.

Ethan

Pls kaga master

You and Hila

I wanna do it with your wife. But...

...I don't want to leave you out, you know? How about it?

A threesome between Ethan and Hila -- and anon.

Please. I would come to this. I want this. I will join. I've always sexually identified as a vape.

Church bathroom while playing Jeopardy on my phone. No idea why, just had the urge while avoiding a 5 hour mass.

Spanish class had a viewing of Pan's Labyrinth in an auditorium, was like me and 5 more. Sat in the back so no one saw and came on the ground.

>>684878442
Respect

>>684876450
Church bathroom while church was in session. So many hot young pieces of ass all dolled up. Kind of hard not to when you have perma boner around them.

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>>684878166

>>684876450
inside your mum's vagina

U.S. capitol building on a school trip

>>684876450
Airplane

ETHAN ISN'T FUNNY ETHAN ISN'T FUNNY ETHAN ISN'T FUNNY ETHAN ISN'T FUNNY ETHAN ISN'T FUNNY ETHAN ISN'T FUNNY ETHAN ISN'T FUNNY ETHAN ISN'T FUNNY ETHAN ISN'T FUNNY ETHAN ISN'T FUNNY

>>684879204
Or economics class

>>684876771
Where do you work?

Your grandma's casket.

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>>684876450
Work bathroom.
Grandma's house.
Outdoors, middle of the night, snow storm.

Grandma's bathroom, on the floor

girlfriends mom's bed with her dirty thong in my mouth and sniffing the lingerie she wore the night before. came on the pillow case where she puts her head. they were both down stairs

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>>684876450
>In a public library
>In one of my college professors offices while he was away for exactly 3.5 minutes
>Straight up in public standing in the middle of a parking garage
>In a Walmart dressing room
>On a bus when i was going on a field trip with my class in high school (nobody saw due to my superior technique)
>Pretty much in my car at any given time while driving (masturbating while driving helps me focus)

I think i might have an addiction.

Dentist office. I was like 13 or something like that and I was looking at a sports illustrated bikini edition. And I just had to fap.
Pretty sure a few people heard me

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I'm 18.
I have never masturbated.
I watch porn but I think I might have ED.
That or I'm just turned off by my own penis.

>>684876450
either in a library bathroom or in my car pulled over on the side of the road

>>684876730
Why do people give a fuck about this and think it's so weird? Exhibitionism isn't bad at all, and if the girl doesn't like it, fuckin look away.

>>684879882
I also forgot to mention about a dozen public swimming pools

>>684876450
afghanistan on top of a ridge line.

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>>684880042
legend

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>>684879999
He's telling the truth, Quads never lie!

Grandmothers house while sleeping over
Forgot a sock to clean up with so had to move to the toilet

>>684880194
That's goin' straight into the reaction folder.

>>684879882
>helps me focus
Kek'd hard...

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>>684879999
No shame, brethren... and take those quads to the doctor.

an empity school class room, next to my sister (asleep), uncles bathroom...

school bus

>>684880032
Maybe it's just the paranoid schizophrenia but having weird shit happen in my peripheral vision fucks with me.

Also maybe because I don't want to look away for 13 seconds or however long high schoolers last.

Also because I don't want to have sexual relationships with most of the autistic faggots I sat next to in school.
^Mostly that point.

I'm a dude, by the way.

>>684880042
That's pretty bad but also pretty impressive. Not sure how I feel about that.

Port-a-potty

>>684880855
Normalfag

>>684881448
How was it?

Grandmas room in her panties and a couple public bathrooms

>>684876450
principal's office

>>684879999
Are you overweight?

Walmart parking lot

dis 1 time wen i was in space den space alans wanked me off man

>>684881425
You should be afraid. IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOUR POOL TOO

>>684881957
How did you pull that off?

>>684881976
Nope. I'm underweight for my height. About 128 pounds last time I checked.

>>684876653
Leafy fan spotted

back to back with grandpa

while scuba diving and the fish chowed on the load...I kekd

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>>684882335

FROM THE TOP OF A MULTISTORY CARPARK, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. pretty sure it landed on a guy.

>>684882335
I've thought about trying this so often it's ridiculous. I'm glad to hear it put into words from someone else to know im not alone

On my friends balcony, it is a busy street so a lot of people saw it.

>>684882114
I don't fear the semen, but what about the children? I guess they have to grow up some time.

My gf and my mom were at the house, they ordered pizza and told me to go get it. I went and picked up the pizza but on the way back My dick wouldnt go down. the chick at the rregister was so cute and her tits were basically popping out of her blouse. So I pulled into this little culdesac, whipped out my dick, and jerked it. I then ate a slice as I drove back to my house.

they asked me what took so long and i told them I got caught behind a train. failed to specify it was the train i was tuggin

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>>684882256

in a vacuum cleaner hose at the carwash

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well lets see
>right in the hall in a school library
>during a class(about 7 times)
>McDonald play place
>driving to work
>Walmart,vons,IKEA
>my attic

In a car, in front of a special needs highschool. I didn't attend said highschool we were picking up a family member.

Not really a weird place but an interesting story:

>13, sleeping over at friends house
>he's on bottom bunk, I'm on top
>fap as quietly as I can
>cum buckets on my stomach
>don't have anything to clean up with
>can't get up without making mess or potentially getting seen with jizz all over me
>fuck it, fall asleep with jizz on me
>wake up with dried jizz on my stomach
>put shirt on, go to bathroom, clean up

Thank god I didn't roll over while I was sleeping

I also once fapped under the covers with my cousin next to me on couch

Washroom of a bombardier manufacturing plant

>>684882708
this made me laugh

>>684882100
you high m8?

>>684882718
im a man of respect. I got up to finish in the bathroom

>>684882194
What the fuck man, that's not good.

You should probably see a doctor.

That's really abnormal at your age, have you ever ejaculated?

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>>684882994

in a library bathroom, it was around 7 pm and my cousin invited me to this small event where we all watched a movie in the library. I decided to go bust one real quick in the bathroom. Was like 12

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In a Hospital waiting room, saw a sexy woman shoe playing with her sexy feet and legs, I blew my load all down my leg.

>>684883174
The industrial setting got me hard.

>>684881779
>schizophrenia
>normalfag

Thanks but no.

I work at pool as a lifeguard and I jerked off at work in the bathroom with the doors locked

>>684879999
quads speak the truth. this man is a strange one.

>>684883169
I usually ejaculate when I'm asleep or after I take a piss. Also, I'm really short, which explains the weight.

At my grandparents house.

in my gf cereal and watched her eat it

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>>684882702
Uhhh, dude. Rule #1 of public masturbation is to know how not to get caught. I only do it in a pool on days when i know there's little supervision and - contrary to what you might think - when there's a goo amount of people swimming. More people = less attention on you. I usually just chill over by the wall and jerk off inside my trunks. I'm also not opposed to eating my cum in times of desperation so if i happen to be in a pool (and floating cum sticks out like a sore thumb by the way) i try to eat as much of it as i can.

Yes i realize im a fucking degenerate.

>>684882100
Nice, I wish I could have been there.

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>>684882708

>>684883401
I've always regretted that i didnt do this while i still had a girlfriend.

>>684883374
*normalfag disorder

>>684876450
4chan.

>>684876450
Pretty tame, but bathroom of a diaper factory at 3 AM while pretending I couldn't hold a shit.

They weren't paying me enough.

>>684883377
>triple dubs
I'm the anon who posted that.
Thanks for noticing.

>>684882708
Choked on food, thanks asshole.

Here

at work, in the only bathroom, in the small trashcan

>>684876450
I was the last one in my office, i have a closed off room to myself opposite the managers office. After he and everyone else left, I was browsing 4chan and saw this trap with a nice fat feminine ass, so I made sure all the doors were locked and the windows were down and I started beating off at my desk. I came so hard and now that one trap makes me question my sexuality on occasion

>>684883401
while discovering that i had a piss fetish, one night my gf asked me to make her a rootbeer float. so i did. made it as perfect as i could
then i took it into the bathroom and pissed in it a little bit.
shits making me laugh just thinking about it.
she ate it all and asked me if i wanted any. "nah baby i ate enough while i was making it"

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back of the family van, in a family road trip, gf jerked me off at night when only his dad was awake driving and her grandma and little sister were in the seats in front

>>684876563
hey there father.

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>>684883615
irony?
>Couldn't hold a shit
>diaper factory

>>684883412
and a huge fucking faggot that eats cum

Art room when I was alone and my teacher was out of the room, woods

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>>684883928
You know it.

Target dressing room
>not bad, can't complain

Oakland Intl Airport bathroom
>be like 13 maybe
>was going ok until asshole walks into the next stall with his poor kid
>yelling at the kid, "go on, do it already"
>"c'mon, just go" "you said you had to, didn't you?"
>sounded like dad was in a hurry, super pissed
>can't focus anymore, feel bad for kid. give up
>kid drops his plastic toy car thingy on floor, slides into my stall
>areufkinkiddingme.doc
>dad reaches hand under
>"would you mind?"
>"sure" slide toy car back w/foot
>zip up, wash hands, nope tf outta there
>haven't joed in public since

middle of a cornfield hot and sweaty

> Be me, freshman year of uni
> Introverted, stayed in my room 90% of the time
> Went to this one event during "PARTY WEEK"
> Q&A with the partiest kids in my dorm
> One question gets asked: Where's the weirdest place you've had sex?
> This one asian bitch pulls out her phone, starts rattling off a list
> Bunch of public rooms, in the halls, stairwells
> Pauses for the merest of moments

Now, as a bit of clarification: I go to a decent school. This school likes to show its power and money. This school bought a section of the Berlin Wall.

> MFW asian whore got fucked against the Berlin fucking Wall

>>684879999
You could be ASexual ANon

watched a guy whack in class we called him slammin hammon

>>684883759
this reminds me of the time I fingered my gf in the back of my moms little car on the way back from seeing some shitty movie. my mom rolled down the window at one point because of "some smell" my gf and i didnt realize until we were at home that the smell she was talking about was my GFs pussy.

During an inspection by the Major through my basic military training.

>>684876450
Work van doing 107 miles an hour on cruise control, going down I-75

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>>684879882
>> superior technique
>go on

Classroom

>>684876450
Bathroom stall with three different kids in the bathroom too.

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>>684883639
for reference, it was this sweet piece of sissy meat

>>684884163
Leave

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>>684884348

>>684883412
Sounds fucking horrible but if you like to do it then more power to you Mr. Public Masterbator. It's good to have a hobby you can't spend all your time on 4chan.

>>684884355
Better one. Inside produce fridge at grocery store I used to work at

every morning watching 20 min workout

>>684876450
In the woods, while staring down a big antlered buck.

>>684876450
>College campus has a new automotive training building
>Restrooms are never used. Ever
I do this once every few weeks.

>>684883826
Kek

>>684876450
>weirdest place
4chan

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>>684876450
Benis

Driving down the highway going 80 mph

>at shore
>go out into ocean
>let current carry me graciously over to some primo loli collective
>vigorously work speedo torpedo until detonation
>shamefully float away as semen shrapnel drifts towards baby bunch
>moment of panic as I sense my batter soaking into their swimsuits
>sly smirk as I inconspicuously disappear into the abyss

>>684884906
paynus

>>684884581
Shit-tier

>>684883384
That's pretty weird but good if you can ejaculate then your probably just not aroused. I dno you could probably do it if you forced yourself. But once you get into the habit it's hard to break.

>>684884906
fugggg XDDDDDD

>>684884668
I don't like you

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>>684876450
in a trailer park bathroom
i did it like 3 days in a row when i was 15 and it wasn't so bad except i had to be stealthy since there was someone in the stall next to me. also it was mental masturbation of my aunts tits since i didn't get connection on my ipod.

in you're momma's faec

>>684882183
Forced to do homework during lunch, and she went to eat lunch.

>>684876450
on a train

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>>684884409
>>684884650

SUPERIOR FAPPING TECHNIQUE: STRAIGHT FROM THE DEGENERATE HIMSELF

>I was seated in the middle of the bus, on an aisle seat (literally the worst place to fap, you're visible from the whole bus)
>I was wearing sweatpants because it was fucking cold outside
>I had this erection that would NOT go away, unless i rubbed one out all sneaky beaky like.
>I had to pull out an ancient Chinese secret fapping trick to make this work.
>I put my backpack in my lap
>My backpack only had a thick jacket in it today in case it was colder than i thought on this trip
>Secretly cut a hole in it with a small knife i had
>Discretely pulled out my dick and put it into my dick hidey-hole
>unzipped just enough of my backpack to put one hand in
>Quietly and masterfully jacked off into my backpack
>Seated next to a girl that slept through it all
>Pretty much stared at her tits 12 inches away for motivation

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In one of these

I was with a group of friends when I was 15, we had some girls with us. We were a big group, 4 boys me included so basically 5...6 girls and one of them was a cutie that I a major crush on for 2 yrs and she was always so nice to me and flirty good friends we were. So, one day we were all together chillin out shootin some b-ball out side of the school. And yeah Fresh Prince lol but really we were actually playing basketball. The girls were watching and chatting. I was getting distracted looking constantly at my crush. she was giving me the flirty look (the fuck me eyes) she was a 8/10 in my books! Nice tits and slim body she was short maybe 5'6 nice legs/feet. sexy eyes and hair EVERYTHING! she was giving an erection bigger than Trump tower. So, I told my friends I have to shit and I went in the outhouse. Instead of shitting I decided to play stroke my tree trunk. I busted a nut and came on the toilet paper, Then I noticed it was all quiet and didn't hear the ball bouncing, I thought my friends left me and forgot me. then my friends thought it would be funny to flip the over the out house while I was still inside it. They pushed it over..I jumped out of the out house and here I am... covered in shit and piss and cum..and all my friends were laughing at me and even my crush...good times... =/

Never EVER go in these when you have friends with you!

Doctor wating room

>>684885593
Lovely

>>684885593
Everyday we drift a little further from God's light...

>>684885875
>>when you have friends with you
>never portajohn
>>NEVER
>>>degenerate

>>684885188
lmao. this guy's alright.

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>>684886499

I jerked it next to my friends that were fucking in their room, I was in the walk in closet right outside their door. We were all three on molly, the idea of getting caught and maybe having a three way turned me on so fucking much

ive jacked off on an airplane, a boat, and a train. oddly enough i havent jacked off in a car yet. or a helicopter. havent been on a helicopter in general. also one time in class. yea

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>>684886474
You bet.

>>684886645
also ive jacked off at the library, multiple times

>>684885875
Did you cripple them?
You should cripple them.

>>684877390
This.

>>684885875
Go hang yourself you under age faggot

>>684885593
Truely you are degenerate. But it is a talent, maybe one day you could have your own website were you upload videos of public masterbation and get paid for your degeneracy.

>>684876450
tim hortons bathroom and a ravine
>>684876653
yes, and the fact that so many people here like him shows how shit this place has gotten

>>684886645
one time when me and my cousin were sleeping in the same room i jacked off in my sleeping bag without waking him
times were tough and blue balls sucks dick (not literally (unfortunately))

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In my sisters closet. watching naked changing her clothes

Back in ye olden days, in 9th grade, I jacked off in the back of a school bus, through my pants. Nobody knew. Until now, that is.

>>684886924
lmao

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>>684886817

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>>684886866
I just screencapped this to use as my banner for my website when i make one.

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>>684886606
i smile at you, anon

>>684886924
wow thats so cool awesome i love it when people are telling the truth and go to really funny websites

>>684876450
Middle school, in ISS. I was the only kid in there all day so they left me alone and I came under the desk and took the faculty snacks before I went home.

Principles office when I was a night janitor

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In a cave made from lava flow, near Mt. St. Helens. Roughly 1 mile under the surface of the Earth.

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>>684887077

well i was a janitor and there was this problem on a board that nobody could solve but them i jacked off

>>684876450
bathroom stall door at school in grade 3 or 4. i used to rub on it till i came.

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In the ball pit in Mcdonalds while with my niece. there was a cutie milf with her shit corn niglet child that was playing with my niece

>>684878622
Fucking Lost

>>684887393
I'll add, i got busted but was a cheeky cunt and played it off like i was trying to climb to the top.

>>684882883
uhhhh i think i might be that friend dud

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On a shooting range in one of these fuckers, thanks to /b/ fap roulette

I work in a nursing home. Sometimes I like to cum in the bathroom in my hand then I find an old person sleeping and do stuff with it, like put it in their mouths or in food. Sometimes they wake up when you do it but it doesn't matter because they're old and nobody believes them.

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fresh OC from /r9k/

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>>684887086
Oh wow! I totality agree with you! I wish more people were like>>684886924

Swimming pool at my grandmas with people in it.

I fapped with a handful of warm raw bacon

masterbating over my 11/10 girl cousin sleeping body (while she was visting our house) i came on a tissue and wiped on her clothes so that when she woke up, her shirt had some slightly ominous looking stains ) her ass was half out and when i bent down i could see half her asshole
i practically got my nose up in that thing
true story (she was around 18 at the time)

My neighbor/friend's sisters room. Rubbed everything on it. Rubbed off on everything.

>>684887730
ok

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>>684876450
On a hasty night OP while I was laying down in the dirt with an M249 SAW in My right hand.

>be me
>Night time, in an orchard watching a MSR for people with shovels
>dick rubs on hard soil
>NARB (No Apparent Reason Boner)
>Look around, everyone is watching sectors, TL is Chillin by SL
> hold right hand on pistolgrip, left hand on dick
> mfw bustin a nut outside the wire

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This video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bbj6KLZr4s

>>684887781
I'll be right back

>>684886734
No, but I'm considering crippling you instead.

Auswitch bathroom. Really nice bathrooms but I dropped my nikon so the lens broke. Smh

>>684887572
doubt it

unless maybe i told you a few years later? initials? or area code where it occurred?

>weirdest
umm....
>be me
>13
>virgin
>watching nieces while parent's and family do bible study
>kids watching barney or some shit
>feeling bored
>and horny
cont.?

>>684887946
Not sure if CS:GO or...

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In a holding cell at a Police station.

I'm hard core.

>>684888228
Afghanistan, 2010

>>684888199
You and I both know that you should just stop

>>684888123
area code would be 85224

>>684888301
>>hard(space)core
>Fuck off

>>684888035
Don't cut yourself with that edge.
And stay out of our conversation.

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>>684876450
Years ago I had seen a porn vid that took place in a parking garage. I recognized that parking garage/structure from what you could see of the other buildings outside.

I then proceeded to masturbate in that parking garage. I came on the ground like an animal.

pic somewhat related, how I felt after.

>>684888199
Just fucking do the whole and quit asking. That's y every girl dumps you, cause you don't take fucking charge.

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>>684878166

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>>684887946

Damn can you imagine if you got sniped mid-fap?

Not wishing that at anyone, but I just can't help but imagine the pure confusion and wtf look on everyone's face after they heard the shot and were sounding off to check if everyone's okay and when they get concerned and check on you your hard in your hand in the dirt with your other hand on your gun.

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>>684888199
Of course continue you fucking clod

>>684884157
this

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>>684888345
>>684888492
>>684888626
i really shouldn't. chris hansen is lurking i just know it

>>684888432
No.

>>684888371
nope, sorry. This incident occurred in the midwest, thats as much as i'll say

>>684888438
I'll do as I please.

Driving on the interstate.

>>684888888

>>684888999
DOUBLE TRIPS NIGGER
Now you have to

>>684888598
I've always said that the last thing I'd want to be doing when I died is jacking off.

>>684885593
You are a fucking genius