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>>684395205
>text
fuck off normalfag

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>>684395360

>>684395205
sup dog

>>684395205
You too

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>>684395205

>>684395205
>What are you looking for, for the ramps? The ones I've got are getting junky, if they aren't too bad of a price I can grab them tomorrow.
Great slogan.

It's funny though

>>684395360
ok then.
>the most recent message you typed with your non-mainstream-open-source messenger that no one else uses

>>684395440
saved.

Love you, baby pies!

Ok

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This

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Fine by me

>>684395205
"Lol alright I might in a while. Sleep good ;)"

>>684395205
stop blowing up my phone you retarded niggers

>>684395802
>rednecks
>nazis
>mormons

gag me daddy

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>Yeah, but I'm not lying.
okay

>>684395205
Ok, I'm going right now

"Was that a race thing?"

>>684395860


That's gonna go over GREAT in the south side of Chicago.

>>684395869
especially mormons
>>684395931
not too bad actually kek

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>>684395618
>message you typed
>having friends to send messages to

"Well, if nothing else I'll be back next weekend. Goodnight, I love you."

This thread, I'm dying

>>684395205
OK tell me anything

I like this thread. It has potential.

Mine is "Figure it out. :P"

Goodnight, Marqi

Matter of fact, I don't know what kind of delirium this is...

"Red week is head week"

"How many elephants will it take?"

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Are you still drunk?

I like it. It really fits the current political state of the US.

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Last thing I sent

>>684396168
Top fuckin kek

>>684395205
I'm heading to bed. Text me whenever. Have a safe trip.

"As your life coach, I recommend that you drop kick her out of a window"

>>684395205
>"Open the door,niiger."
Fucked up the spelling and sent it as is.

>>684395205
"do you use magic eraser for your tank? any special kind?"

>>684395205
fuuuuuuuuuuuuck dude

>Who's in the office?
Some potential i suppose.

>>684396313


The collective anal clench could power a country for a decade

it's time to stop

>ok, send me his email

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>>684395205
"nice"

>>684395440
op was to edgy for reddit but still wants to post shit quality memes and emoji's everywhere

"Ok"

"Just have a blocked nose now"

hahahaha

"My whole fucking family has Listeria."

Sure why not?

bye

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>>684396529

"I'm confused what you are nah-ing." Could actually work

I need to stretch my ass again. Brb
-Anon for prez 2016

"That moment when you try to end your life prematurely but you are Jewish, therefore you have Jew powers that prevent your death from occurring."

>>684396037
Go to r9k with your pathetic bullshit.

>>684395205
and the in n out tray is pretty nifty.

>>684395205
Look man, I'm not signing the petition. It's not that I don't support the cause, I just don't give out the info it wants me to sign with.

I have a "Learn one new thing per day" limit!

>have u given mittens her daily beating?

mittens is my asshole cat

>>684396718


That could work...

the op is a faggot

I sent this to ops mom

>>684395205
It just seemed like it was a burden and it was, but I combined it with long assignments and adderall and it worked out

>>684395205
This is awkward.
>> Will do. These black ones need laces. The ones from my old shoes will do over night. Went to lace up the shoes and pulled the laces apart.

>>684397060


OP is always faggot.... welcome to the news archives

>>684395205
>"The full Bee Movie is on Pornhub"

>>684395205
>Me too, or at least the Best Buy.
Trump2016

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>"Hello?"

>sent on January
:(

>>684397172
It's like, a metaphor man

>going 2 succ you harder than my erection when i get back from work. Ily

>>684395205
"Who cares"

>>684395205
bal all

Hey housemate trying to short my shit out atm, ill be home on monday x

>>684397357


At least it's honest

>I thought you were off w work when I saw the purchase

"Don't let the bedbugs bite"

"Up for a game?"
Could work

>>684396407
Anon Anonson and E. F. Guy 2024
"As your life coach, I recommend that you drop kick lady liberty out of a window"

>>684395205

o/

I can work with this.

>pls easy on butt

not very good english i normal lurk

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>>684395205

"It hurt last time you put it in there dad :/"

"Goodnight, I love you"

"I'm going to drink a bleach cocktail if this doesn't mod right again"

:(

"I was going to tell you mu plan but when I called it went to answering machine."

In this case, I was being obtuse, saying "answering machine" instead of "voicemail." But I was talking to my wife so she got the joke.

>i like turtles :p

I'm trying to fit in okay?

>>684395205
I need milk to baby. Please don't forget the milk

>>684398238
>answering machine


Talk about the way back machine

>>684395205
'This soup is great'

Heard you were a heat treating motherfucker now

>I"m pansexual as in I gonna pan ur ass.

>>684395205
so are we still on for the school shooting?

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>texting friend about apartment he told me about
>last message i sent

THE RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH!!!

>>684395869
Still better then any ethnic
>saying nazis are bad
>fuck off kike

"Aaron is my best friend, we hang."

ITT: normie scum

>>684395205
The slogan for my Presidential campaign:
>Just what in the FUCK am I looking at, exactly?

I believe that Hank Hill is one the most complex and realistic characters in Animation. Although on the surface he appears to be nothing more than a redneck, if you actually watch the show and read between the lines, he's a lot more.
Hank Hill, and by extension King of The Hill as a whole, is at its core about showing that one group is not always right, and one group is not always wrong. It's not just blind Liberal bashing by some angry Texans, or angsty Liberal bawwing like Family Guy, it's somewhere in the middle.
Hank is a man who represents traditional family values. He works a just-above blue collar job, has an ugly wife, and a kid he fails to understand. He enjoys working on his lawn, grilling, and selling propane (and propane accessories).
because he represents traditional values, he often butts heads with newer, more liberal ideas. Now about half the time, he will have a hard time adjusting, but ultimately realize that it isn't that bad, or is even correct. But the other half of the time, he exposes it for the bullshit it is and tries to save those who have been brainwashed.
And that's the thing, Hank isn't a racist or Homophobe, or even a devout Republican. If that was the point of the show, he would have voted for Bush in that one episode. No, Hank is a good man who just has a hard time adjusting.
Hank stands by his family, his friends, and his family values, and this is why he is a good character. He has a hard time understanding his son, like a lot of parents, but ultimately loves him and accepts him for what he is.
When you really get down to it, Hank is so much more than your average sitcom father. Unlike the bumbling Homer, he is a very real man who many people can relate to THEIR fathers. he is the next progression in mature cartoons and sitcoms, a complex character, not a 1 dimensional caricature.
In short, he is the Average Joe the typical person represents, and that's a good thing.

"i wanna get this one fingers slip on original"

Tu veux que je vienne ? Ou tu viens juste de chier une diarhée ?

(GF asked me to come over and lick her asshole)

>>684395205
Yeah i shouldve, it was only 100 feet above my house i could have just hopped and grabbed it

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>"Show me how big those tits have gotten"

>>684395205


GIVE IT A FUCKING BREAK. FOR 99% OF YOU LOSERS IT'S:

"MOMMY ONLY BRING ME 5 BIG MACS, I AM ON A DIET"

Aihht niqqa

>>684396369
Wow. So passive aggressive

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"I would look so vintage."

I think I have a chance
>Ok :|

>>684395205
>nah, man. The issue was that eugenics proved that blacks are the lowest on average in IQ and that using it to further humanity means only asians and whites would breed. So rather than admit that scientifically its right but morally its wrong people just whip out the "thats racist!" Or "you're racist!" Cards which essentially marks for life whatever its thrown at as a negative thing. It still would have been a viable approach to reducing inherited conditions like alzheimers, heart disease, need for prescription lens, generally weak immune systems, etc. but NUUUU das racis! But in the long run we'd be saving trillions of lives! DAS RACIS! And suddenly just like that everyone assumes a milder form of eugenics is equal to and just as bad as hitlers fucking twisted eugenics with no scientific background. If we had eugenics guidelines we would have segregated class rooms. And before you say it thats not a fucking bad thing. Inner city classes received grades on average of B's when it was all blacks then the urban league threw a shit fit over accidental segregation and sent those kids to suburban schools an hour and a half bus ride away, and guess what. Those grades? They're all below D's now across the board for each kid. They took kids who's expected grades were B's, even those getting A's too, and put them in an enviroment with an obviously negative effect all for social justice and now those kids chances at decent colleges are fucked. Anyway, what did we decide on? Bdubs or what?

>Legend

>>684395205
2TL9PMV3EBS7

Pick the kids up from school

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''Hey trying to get a q if you're around'' - Mr. Prez 2020

>>684399231
I honestly think its the best presidential pitch i've seen this century and the damn republicans would literally carry me into the damn whitehouse no vote needed.

Work more!
Was joking with my wife but think it's a great slogan for making America great again. Not that you could tell this to all the niggers and freeloaders though.
They would just say, "ya you work more so I get more guvment monies".

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>>684395205
"Thanks, I got some codeine to"

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Could you get tomato soup

>I woke up to the sight of nazi banners

>hello this is 911 what is your emergency?
>A nigger just prolapsed my anus with his watermelon magic.

>:'-(
I'm going to win

>>684399652


...fuck

Ooof its people standing around bouncing lightly to the beat

I started drinking at 2

<im guessing we're not doing this anymore

"K mini golf it is, call you tomorrow at 10"

what

No, we need LESS Mexican hot sauce. I have GERDS, remember?

>>684400254


Ahhhh, honesty

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>>684399358
Those are some ridiculously well rolled joints but I have a feeling this wasn't ur last text, I mean I'm going full detective on this shit but u mean to tell me that u asked a drug dealer for weed and then got that weed and proceeded to roll those 2 joints and that was ur last text? I mean an answer to ur question being as u have the joints so he prob had weed would be something along the lines of "yeah I got u swing by" or something like that... Then u just go there without reply? I don't think so buddy I think u said something like "ok word"

>Hey, add order some hose hooks this week.

>>684395205
The life of golden corral.

>>684395205
"You fucking useless sack of shit"
Me and my friends are really nice to eachother

"Please get us some pizza"

>>684395205
did you take out the trash yet?

i think its sounds pretty good

>>684395205
"Why did you work today?"

Yeah, I can see that.

>>684395205
>"i guess not"

>>684395205
>I can get an ounce, I'll bring it to the game

>>684396780
Mmmmm in n out.

"WITH ROCKETS"

"Shitty gay gay"

"Okay sounds good "

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"i ran over some torpedoes"

>o shit wuddup!

>>684395205
"shit was hotter than the bombs at hiroshima"
yup, thats good

>>684395205
>Not inevitable, just undeniable
Crown me

"Does this look infected to you?"

I think I could make this work.

Can't complain?

pls respond :(

>>684395205

"it's way too much for 99.99% of all humans"

yeah, this will do.

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>>684402240
:/

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>>684400751
Jesus anon... Wow u at actually right my man, his exact words were "gotchu pull up" and then I said "aight bet" but pretty spot on my man and thanks about the joints. Ur a god too tho like wtf made u even think all this shit lmao

>>684395205
"Gaaaaaaaaaayyy"

Yeah thats fitting

Whats going on?

>>684395205
>Shit was cash
Nah but for realzies "Im on one percent faggot. Guess who doesn't have a charger."

>"lemme know if you want a acc dump, i have like 24k accounts"
Great slogan.

Alright, it all went fine.

>body wash

I'd lose the spic vote, that's for sure

>>684395205
C'est la vie

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Sent to my mom.
It's gonna be a great campaign

>>684402485
Winner winner chicken dinner

>>684395205
"ay u ever micro a hotdog b4 lol"

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Who doesn't want dick rabies Marquies?

>>684395205
"Hmm, maybe"

Yeah, sounds about right.

Hey can you come get me

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>>684395205
Have you seen my bag?

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>>684395205
I can't fit the whole thing in there.

>>684402313
I'm too jealous of you right now, u got that shit in those perfect joints? Fuck I wanna be where u are so bad right now. I only thought of it cuz I just picked up some acid and I was like word I'll put that in this thread but I'm tripping and my integrity kept me from putting "hey trying to get 8 tabs if u still got" when my real last text was "k"

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The webm or the text?

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>Mkay
I am literally Mr Mackey

>>684395205
No cash on hand.

"Don't jump"
It's been a rough day...

Kek
"Just call him"

️lick my clit

>Right in front of her girlfriend no less

Maybe I'll get the gay vote?

>>684395205
DO NOT forget the guns and chimichangas.

I can live with this.

>>684395205
Kk uh, lemmi change.

>>684395205
"Absotively Posilutely"

>>684395205
>hey i have really bad service are you here?

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>>684402664
Yeah that's the bud I had in these pups, damn woulda been sick if we coulda just shared the weed and tabs man, have a great rest of ur trip too:

>>684395205
Have never owned a phone or sent a text. Maybe people will like my lack of a slogan.

Yfw the new power puff girls is absolute shit

>Thanks
I mean, it'll work well if I win?

"I might be able to handle that."

recived: Thats okay haha
almost works

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>>684395205

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>>684402966
Will do man, stay lifted and peace out hamie

>>684402822
lol, context?

Today I saw 2 fat faggots at Wendys sitting side by side sharing an order of ghost pepper fries lol.

>>684395205
>Why not focus on your other two goals?

Shure i will

>show me dem titties
It'd work if I was attractive

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>>684399358
>>684400751
>>684402313
>>684402664
>>684402966
>>684403153
Beyond entertaining and impressive too the both of u lmao, never change /b/

>>684395205
Well. Good luck.

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>>684395205
>Sure
Reply to coworker wondering if I could work last friday.

>>684403545
Lol try that was really funny

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Fuck

Fuock you

>>684403155
This girl I'm into was getting all touchy and I was really uncomfortable because she is already in a relationship

>>684403648
Jesus last Friday was ur last text? This shit is depressing

>>684403212
Kek

"Yeah I got bud"

think I could win

>>684395205
"Platypus is the most creature." - Jurgel

Ok I think im good.

>how can you trust jake? hes a fucking nigger god damn
ohe

>>684395205
WAT

I think I got this.

"I'll get us fucked up, dont worry about it 8)"

Ok, asssholes. It's game time.

u don gofed

'You had a boyfriend at the time too didn't you. Anyway, doesn't matter now' made myself laugh

>>684395205
you know that remix by cancer frank

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I got this.

There is much sadness in the world, but not in this room. Perhaps we should make our room a bit bigger, yeah?

>>684396225
Hahaha

Sureeeeee

>Good boy.

>when you going

Immigrants go now

>>684395205
9:25 i think

>Yep.
2024 Will be a good year for my election.

>>684395205
"Ya, that will probably work"

>>684403967
My last txt was 3 days ago.
I haven't texted a woman in 6 or so months.

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i love you too but whatever the fuck you say honestly and im sorry in advance if im really pissy tomorrow i just didn't know what to rxpect after i sent you litsrally what you asked for?

"stuck in unmoving traffic"

That could work actually.

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"As always, I respect your desicion"


Miss that girl

>>684402966
damn that image hits home

Do you wanna walk to iras?

Thread didn't actually suck. Well done OP.

Wait a couple of days, you greedy thing

WHY DO YOU MAKE ME WORRY? CALL ME!!!!

Yo i dont wanna say anything cuz yknow with everyone here and shit but you got a big hole in your boxers and i can see your dick and balls.


He replied and told me he knows.


We had guests...

Im going to play some more silent hill 2 before i go to bed,night faggot

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"hope the couple get better "

>>684395802
>be me
>living in quite neighborhood
>white guy his wife and 3 shit spawns move in
>guy and wife constantly shouting
>two younger kids keep going into peoples yards and fucking up flower gardens
>teenage kid drives shitty sun fire with fucked up muffler
>teenage kid speeds up and down the street like an ass playing hollywood undead with windows down

"well apparently motherfucker isn't a swear word"

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>>684395205
A conversation with some 9/10 19 year old hottie who used to have lunch with me at work when I was on break(despite not actually working there):

>Her: "Lets facetime!"
>Me: "I'm not wearing clothes"

Welp... thats that.

>Her: "Cool, me too!"

>sexy little girl

Ah damn alright. Thanks anyway

"people shouldn't get circumcised period"

i think I have /b/'s vote

Hahahahahahahaha
"WWII just happened. It was a fucking nightmare"
Anon '16!

Hitler did nothing Wrong

"Can't sleep then!"

>I didn't know I had a typical response, lol
Sounds like some shit trump would say

If you squeeze the my cat ill squeeze your nuts off.

>>684405613


Got the dank meme vote locked anon

"Hostias, mi polla está súper calentita"
Which means:
"Fuck, my cock is súper hot"

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Don't play with me. Bring me my money.
-dealer

Ouch......

>>684406131


Yep, that could work.

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>>684395205
So Pink Guy is the slogan? Or him as a whole is the slogan? Either way, I'm very okay with this.

Up in the green room talking to Goku lol

>>684395205

What's for dinner, bitch?

>>684406392


I can see that on the side of a bus...

>i mean... you dont have any other option
I think that that will work

>>684395205
Vape nayshe

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>>684395205
Who would vote for me?

OK will do

>>684407113
Depends. What are your stances?

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>>684395205
...but i have never sent a text before =O