>>684262152
ill start
- 1 year and 2 months
- my future in law enforcement and the company i currently own
- im fucking miserable

>>684262152

Your life will never be complete without heroin

>>684262365
up now i guess i should go relapse

Been clean from everything besides everything except alcohol and nitrous since Jan 7th. Tired of people hating on my recovery

Non-user here, not trying to be judgmental, just curious.
What motivated you to use heroin in the first place?
I'm assuming you knew the risks, so what drew you to use the drug?

>>684262972
man i smoke pot and have some beers with the family on weekends but my life is fine and as long as i dont do my drug of choice, my life will stay fine.. fuck eveyone else

>>684262972

>nitrous

Cunt, get yourself together. That shit will make you braindead.

>>684263409
wrong time and place pretty much.. grew up in a broke house hold with raging parents, ended up in the wrong group and found heroin

>>684262152
15 years clean now...happier now than when i had no money, no place to live and had to gank for my dope money for sure..

17 years clean.

>>684264039
now that shit is something else... its so short lived, i went through a fucking box of whipped cream cans from the dollar store, the lady was like "what in the world!? you better not throw these at the store!"
i was like "making a big cake 0.0"

>>684264136
>>684264220
good for you guys, thats really awesome, i hope it gets better with time

>>684264257

How long have you been doing nangs?

>>684263996
same shit for me...booze and weed was never my issue...Ive never been a boozer because I cant stand losing a day to hangovers etc and I dont consider weed any more a drug than I would cigarettes so...I work, pay all my shit, lead a decent life etc so smoking a fatty here n there clearly aint fucking with my life like wacking dope daily and being sick if not did...

>>684264403
jeez that was years ago i dont do nos anymore.. maybe sometimes if theres whip cream in the fridge ill take a little rip but other than that, im good..

>>684262152
sex addict.
its been a year. i hate it.

>>684264504
a men brotha, ill admit i have been drinking a little more than i should lately, but im just going to stop, i was always able to do that with alcohol, just stop. i dont enjoy it like i did dope.. and weed.. ffs its weed... thats so irrelevant to any problems in my life

>>684264322
it does man...I never even think about doing smack...I quit smoking cigarettes like 12 years ago too and I dont miss it either...its corny but time does heal all wounds...just keep your head in the game and youll be fine.

>>684264648
im not a sex addict but i havent had sex in 3 years... so i on some level know your pain

>>684264810
thanks man, i meen i went to rehab for a year and felt more alive than ive ever felt my entire life.. so i do definitely see a light

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I can't be the only meth head on /b/

>>684264854
actually, i snapped 8 months ago and spent 3000$ on escorts in a week.

>>684264764
lol yep...I could never get wasted off booze two days in a row anyways, I never feel like drinking the day after getting wasted but I never had a problem doing heroin two days in a row haha

>>684262152
Meth was my DoC.
Clean for 5 or 6 years now.

Everyone I know is getting into speed (we're all rapidly approaching 30), and I'm just sitting here like "I'll stick to sativas."

>>684265060
thats crazy...I mean I like fucking as much as the next guy but I dont go crazy if I go a few weeks without it...sex, video game and gambling addictions were the ones I never understood...especially video game addiction, thats just fucking gay..I mean as long as you aint getting or giving STDs keep on fuckin brotha! haha

My wife was an "ex addict", truth be told there is no such thing you will always be a heroin addict, use or not. She abandoned her children left everything the owned behind and disappeared 60 days ago due to relapse. Im going for full custody for my kids, took all our money outta the account too. Once a user always a user, dont forget recovery will take a lifetime.

>>684264971
I gained 13 pounds in as many days in detox haha. I went in super underweight from being a street junkie and they fed me so much good shit I went from 137 to 150 in like 2 weeks..Im 6 feet tall so..I was pretty fucking skinny lol.

>>684265491
She hotter as an addict like intervention?

>>684264998
cool

>>684265491
I think its a bit to each his own also though. I get the concept of once a junkie always a junkie but...I did 2 weeks in detox to get it out of my system and then I walked away from my hood and moved where it wasnt available and never thought about it again basically...same with smoeks..I woke up one day with yellow fingers and a bad taste in my mouth and I decided I didnt like smoking anymore after 16 years of doing it...I never smoked again its been 12 years now...people smoke around me, iut doesnt bother me, Ive never even taken a puff once in that time..so each person is different...

>>684265186
what more do you need? good for all occasions, more and more acceptable in society and youre not some wired out freak, youre basically the same person as before you smoked the joint lol...

So is heroin the most addicting drug? I heard alcohol/cigarettes is the most addicting but fuck if I know.

>>684264998
none of those drugs are fun by yourself

>>684265612
She was hot, thats what got me at first, mind you i didnt know she used to use until i had already married her and she was carrying me seed inside her drug addled body.

Black cocks are my new drug - OP

>>684266016
not the same type of addiction...its easy with booze and smokes because they are readily available and accepted by society for the most part so its easy to fall into chronic use...but heroin grabs you quicker, and makes you physically sick if you dont have it every day, booze doesnt do that unless youre a long term drunk and smokes will never do that to you...after youve felt the sickness, you get scared of going through it again, and thus begins your descent in junkiedom lol fear of the sickness is what keeps junkies junkin' lol

>>684266016
to each his own, but i can tell you right now, heroin is a contract you sign with the devil, he gives you the most satisfying thing in the whole world but the consequence is that youll never forget how it once felt.

>>684266250
I concur

>>684265868
Maybe so, i moved her away from all of it and she still found it again. The main point i was making, there is no such thing as an ex addict, just an addict from then on. Some people can fight it longer than others some not at all and a small minority can beat it.

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>>684262152

>Heroin pot and benzos for two months, was miserable
>Lapsed and shot up every day this week, spent all my money, now im miserable
>Mfw i started using cause I was a miserable cynic

Life is like mr. bones wild ride fucking wew laddie.

Some good came out of it tho, i forgot how much i hate being sick. Never want to shoot up again.

>>684266316
i disagree, she relapsed mentally way before she even touched a drug.
if a person truly and i mean TRULY wants sobriety, they CAN get back to normal.
i was shoot 3 buns a day in my throat, robbing everyone and everything, i died more times than i can count, broke my neck in a car accident and live to tell the story.
and im clean for over a year, i own a company, i have goals and i dont even think about heroin anymore and i actually get sick just thinking about it.
everyone is different.. ime

>>684266461
i strongly believe relapse is necessary to recovery.. after being clean for a while, when you use, you most likely wont have a good time, this may be the push you need to stay clean.. it was for me

>>684266599
I legit just said a small minority can beat it, did you even read my post?

>>684266316
yeah she wasnt ready to quit I guess...I think the reason I had so much success is because I was truly sick of doing it, the lifestyle, the hustling, everything, like with smokes, I was sick of smoking. I think once you get to that stage it helps alot. Sorry about your wife tho for real.

>>684266056
Sorry bro. Hope things get better for you and kids.

>>684266753
ah youre right, you did, my apologies. i was just skimming, but my point still stands

>>684266754
Its alright im much happier now she is gone, and im getting custody of my kids so its all good now, also i used to have bad mental issues which are all gone now that she is gone. Funny how that works.

I don't know any addicts, so I'll ask here.

When did you discover that you were an addict?

I hope all you junkies die

>>684266925
just protect your kids man... dont change their mom and home too much... it happened to me and it really kinda fucked me up

>>684267031
fuck out of here straight edge fag, you probably do good in school.. fucking winner

>>684267028
after i did my first bag of dope

>>684267062
We are going through divorce now. The kids are so young they wont remember real mommy. Im going to be super selective this time around and just hope the woman i choose is the right one this time. I learned a lot from this marriage.

>>684267304
glad to hear that man, i know what ever choice you make, its going to work out. how old are they if you dont mind me asking?

>>684267441
Very young under 3 years both of em

>>684267545
yeah i guess.. i meen theyre old enough to retain some minor memories.. i just hope they dont remember "real mommy"

>>684267150
Thanks junkie you make me feel better about my own life

>>684264998
Nice 2CB got any fun stories on it?

>>684267792
Oh never mind where you put mdma lsd i assumed it was 2CB but then i saw the tabs of acid which I didn't see originally

>>684267664
They wont she was never around, the older wont doesnt even notice shes gone, kinda sad really

>>684267863
No worries

>>684267933
jesus man, she sounds like a terrible parent... fuck her (figuratively) well good luck with everything i wish you the best my friend

>>684268385
Thanks a lot, its hard, now cause i got the kids full time i lost my job, im surviving on goverment aid. But i know in time things will turn around. Also childcare isnt an option cause one of my kids has special needs

I was clean off the coke relapsed a couple of times in the past month, but i'm off it for now.

Did a couple of j's too

I was a big time dealer but stopped a few years ago. Not really addicted to 1 substance in particular but just need 'something' to get wasted on.

Life just seems so dull now. I miss the kick driving around with dealers and 7 kilo's of MJ in the trunk. I loved/hated the kick of feeling the cops at the station look at you when you feel that bag of 1000 xtc pills burning in your pocket. Or that incredible smell when you weigh 100G's of shiny cocaine rocks.

I really regret the path I took and the choices I made. I started selling harddrugs since I was 15 and never got to have a 'normal' life. I litterally don't know anything else, so I don't have alternatives to fall back on. For me this is the hardest part of stopping: everything in my life always revolved around drugs. I know fuckloads of people but almost everyone uses. In some streets of my city I know more than several dealers I supplied in the same street. I just wish I could reset my life and never touch that shit, because deep down I know life will never be as fulfilling as the normies. At this point in my life I'll have to make choices. Friends are dying or getting put away in the psych wards. Thinking about starting Uni, but I'll never succeed in studying/work untill I completely stop with drugs.

>>684264764
Don't underestimate weed bro. I mean OK it's not like amphs or opiates, but I've seen plenty of people throwing their life away because they were always stoned. Weed is fine in moderation but it kills motivation if you use it too much. It tends to make me depressed too

ex heroin addict here

i'm on methadone maintenance so some people might not consider me to be "clean" but whatever, it doesn't get me high and my life has improved by like a million percent.

haven't used dope in 16 months. since i got clean i have lost 80lbs, gone back to school to become an addiction counselor and have a 4.0 GPA after 2 semesters, gotten my own apartment, and am working a cool part time job in the box office of a theatre (not the movie kind).

i'm motivated mostly by how much better my life has gotten without using and the fact that i know if i relapsed i would lose everything very quickly. i still miss heroin if i'm being honest but i consider heroin to be like that crazy beautiful ex girlfriend that you'll always love but know that she can't be a part of your life anymore.

am i truly happy? i don't know. i'm certainly a lot happier than i was when my happiness came solely from dope. i'm still sort of lonely and really want to start dating again but girls aren't typically interested in a 33 year old ex junkie. hopefully i'll meet someone in the near future but i'm not gonna worry about it too much. my sobriety is the most important thing in my life right now.

>>684262152
2 years and some change, did some crazy shit for it. I can look at photos like this and shit now and it doesn't bother me

>>684270324
I know this feeling all too well bro, My life revolved around using/selling since I was 15 too, am 29 now, been arrested 3 times, avoided jail so far, been using heroin for the last 5 years and every opiate/drug under the sun from 15 onwards, It's gotten to the point where I need to make all new friends and move to a new area, just got on methadone this week and haven't ued any heroin since so I'm hopeful I can gain some stability in my life,

Good luck bro!

>>684262152
2 years
Miserable as fuck
Sex
Kind of just swapped addictions, and I drink a lot, got surgery on my arm and fingers from an accident and turned down the oxys and vicodin so kind of proud of that. Taking tramadol

>>684271005
what dose are you on bro? i just started on 30mg a day, it's holding me well

My sister is a meth addict.
She's an adult.
Lost custody of her children.
Not allowed to live at home.
Is there anything I can do for her or should I just move on with my own life?

>>684271328

70mg. i started on 30mg but i was using so much dope when i came into the program that it didn't hold me and i still felt like crap. honestly at the end of my addiction i was using like 30 bags a day. i would buy it in paterson, nj where it's like $3-4 a bag so my tolerance ballooned and i was using crazy amounts.

it's not a small dose but it's not to crazy either. there are lots of people there on 140 or 150mg. honestly it just makes me feel normal. i don't feel high at all or sleepy.

>>684266016
I've never smoked a cigarette that left me in complete ecstasy moaning inside of a portashitter, with my head on the seat

What eventually happens to meth addicts?
Can I look forward to my sister dying any time soon or is it like a life long inconvenience that I'll have to put up with if I don't cut her out of my life?

>>684271551

i know it's really hard but there's nothing you can do really except tell her that you love her and that you will do anything to help her get clean but not to enable her addiction.

unfortunately you can't get a person clean no matter how much you want it. they have to want to get clean and change their life. if they're not ready to stop using then there's little that can be done honestly.

>>684271764
Thank you for that.
I'm willing to help if she asks for it but as it stands, she just wants to disappear for weeks on end and show up occasionally to our mother's home to see her kids for a bit and wash up.

>>684271167
Good luck to you. Stability is our saviour, yet routine kills me. I hope you make it

>>684271551
Hard call. You can't do anything for her. Don't let her abuse your trust. You can help her if needed, but prepare to get hurt.. as long as she doesn't really really want to stop, don't even bother it

Really interesting and helpful answers hear /b/
Keep on fighting people! Good for you, even it's harsh
Just a little secret from me:
There is no such thing as "HAPPINESS" , only GLANCES of it when you step on and succeed even something tiny in every aspect of life. Otherwise, drugs wouldn't exist in society

>>684271572
I was using 2/3grams of darknet #3 heroin, labtested stuff at 76%, it was getting to the point where i was constantly getting dopesick, i have a theory the stronger n cleaner the gear the quicker and harsher the rattle, anyway 30mg is holding me well so far but i do wake up yawning n watery eyed so i think i need to up it a bit, id say 55/60 would suit me perfectly

It is fucking nice not being sick in the mornings tho!

>>684271917
I'm in no danger of getting hurt. I don't have any emotion invested in her situation but I do feel obligated to be the good son and help out my family here and there but I will not go out of my way nor sacrifice anything for them.
If I knew a definitive way to "save" her I would. But if what you're saying is true, then my resources are best saved for myself.
I do hope she gets better but until then, I guess I won't pursue it.

>>684272015
Wow you're a genius, no one has ever thought of your theory before.... why were you buying number 3 anyway ?

>>684262365
this

>>684272166
Lol, yea reading that back it did sound rather simplistic, But you would think the weaker the dope the quicker youd get sick no?

I live in ireland and prdering from uk, in europe #3 is the most popular type of heroin

>>684266220
i avoided being dopesick like it was the fucking grim reaper. like "im about to be sick in 3 hours and i aint got no hustle or anyone i can scam today. time to rob my dealer."

Fuck this thread makes me want to try H. I already love the opium high. Is it possible to just try once and never again?

>>684272015

yeah i miss the high but i don't miss all the bullshit and the withdrawal and the having to drive an hour every other day and risk getting arrested because the dope was so much cheaper in northern NJ than it was where i lived in NY.

good luck to you man. you can do it. if i can do it, anybody can. i used for 8 years pretty much every day and i thought there was no chance i was ever going to get clean.

Doesnt quite count, but I am trying to smash through an 8 ball of coke and its defeating me after 30 hours. 1st world problems.

>>684272392
Ooo true yeah when I was in Norway all I could find was number 3, this was years back when I was still dabbling when it was still fun ya know and was like wtf why isn't this dissolving...

>>684272494
I too miss the high, I think I always will but what can you do, I am very thankful I find methadone pleasant, I'm not high but I feel a bit stoned, and with a few spliffs I can feel really rather nice

The bullshit that came along with getting high is also the reason why I'm quitting, waiting on a courtdate for possession of half a gram of h, that will be fun :/

Thanks though bro, I hope I will be able to do it, It's inspiring reading your journey though!

Can an addict live a seemingly normal life?
Like, if they don't end up overdosing one day, can they manage their use and still be productive? I'm talking the hard drugs.

>>684272481

it's theoretically possible but i certainly wouldn't advise it

>>684264998
Coke head? and weed. That's what I do Meth hurts my nose too much and I don't like the taste when you smoke it. No all drugs are for everyone lol

>>684272593
Hahaha yeah man, that caught a canadian mate of mine out too, was bout to toss it too!! till i produced a sachet of citric then hey presto he was nodding his arse off! lol

>>684272466
>knowing and counting down the hours before you start to withdrawal

>>684272810
I have several friends who have, once you shoot tho you're kind of plain out fucked mother Teresa would be suckling dick for it

>>684272894
I think most seasoned addicts know exactly when they start to get sick, I know I can, It starts as slight aches and yawns then sneezes n watery eyes, then a few hours later you are running to the toilet, sleep is impossible at this point because the restless arms and legs are kicking in full force, I think most here will be able to empathise with this

>>684272747

good luck with the court date. make sure to tell the judge you're clean and in treatment. that should help. i got arrested 3 times for heroin possession and the last time i got busted i had 60 bags on me and i thought i was fucked. thankfully the cops were cool and they didn't charge me with possession with intent to distribute which would have been bad news. all 3 times i only got a slap on the wrist. fines. no jail time, no probation, not even community service. i guess heroin is such a problem though in NJ that if they locked everyone up that got busted for possession they'd have to build new jails and prisons to fit everybody.

>>684273067
thats the exact order the symptoms come for me too. you know youre fucked when you start to throw up. also rolling around with as much restlessness as possible. that feeling of wanting to crawl out of your skin.
happens every 12 hours for me

>>684273214
I will man, its partly the reason I'm on 'done in the first place,

Yeah man my first arrest was a bad one, got caught with slabs of opium, 1000's of pills (benzos) speed coke mdma 2cb dmt ketamine weed hash (all in small quantities other than the opium weed and benzos)

I had 12 charges 3 of which were intent, I managed to get my solicitor to get the 3 intent charges thrown out n got a suspended sentence, 6months imprisonment suspended for 12 months, was a lucky escape!!

>>684273517
thats exactly it, wanting to crawl out of yer fucking skin! I get a nasty cough too and my lungs ache, I get aches n pains on my back n shoulders, I feel so fucking weak, I am shitting near every 2 hours, and proper shits too from how backed up i was lol, no appetite at all and severely down, not wanting to talk to anyone, which is a nightmare when you're hiding a habit from your gf!

>>684273785

damn that is lucky. hopefully this one works out just as well for you. i gotta run but it was nice chatting with you. i wish you the best man. good luck.

>>684273785
How the fuck did you get off with that quantity ? How much snitching did you do ? Also where were you with opium

>>684274082
Thanks mate, You too! good luck with your future and will prob chat to you again on a similiar thread! Peace dude

>>684274037
How do you hide it ? How retarded is she when you have track marks and shit and never any money lol

>>684274137
no snitching, had a good lawyer, was first offence, was in treatment for my addictions, it all worked in my favour

I was in ireland with the opium mate

>>684274246
I have no tracks anymore, stopped shooting it long ago, just smoke it now, and as for the money, I sold to support my habit

you're all a bunch of whiners.

>>684274433
i did that too. you gotta be on top of your shit tho otherwise youll just use your own supply

i usually just broke even

>>684274714
heroin is a special kind of hell man. if you dont understand, go get guns shoved into your chest and knives held to ur throat and start living in paranoia and fear. its enough to traumatize anyone.

>>684264998
Oh fuck you, huge trigger

>>6842750214
mimimimimimimimimimimi

Bunch of weak willed faggot pussies here.

Never got hooked on anything. No intention to ruin my body and mind.

Junkies are the scum of the earth. Nothing to live for and will cheat, steal and lie to everyone.

Man I'll probably get banned for this but fuck it. Need to get this off my chest.

My parents have been junkies all there lives. When I was 4 I found my mums methadone in a Fanta bottle and had to get airlifted to Adelaide so they could get the shit out of me.
Human services took me off my parents when I was 5 and I've lived with my nan ever since. One of the things I hate is when they say " anon what do you want for your birthday" and I'm always just like nothing it's fine get yourself something nice. Or when they promise me something. It's kinda sad how I know how hollow the words are. It's even worse when they ask me for money and I say yes because otherwise I feel like an absolute cunt.
I guess my life is alright now, im 17 and just started an aprenticeship in IT and I'm really enjoying that.

TLDR; I'm 17 and my mum and dad have been junkies all my life and I wish I could help them.

>>684275817

that sucks bro. i'm sorry. i appreciate your honesty and all but why not just say you're 18 so you don't get banned?

>>684275629
i dont think anyones gonna argue against that bro. im just relating my exp from when i was a user.

>>684276098
Honestly didn't think of that dude. I'd prefer to be straight with whomever was reading it anyway.

>>684266030
Alcoholic here. Got pretty bad into it with day drinking/being constantly drunk even if I was working or going out with family. Also was doing everything that floated my way, like benzos, percocet, adderall, ephedrine, etc.

Toned it down to maybe once a week on the other shit, but I can't seem to shake my minimum 10 drink a night habit...

OP here
you guys all have some great testimonies. as someone who used to do unspeakable crimes to get my fix, i can promise you all that there is hope for you. i know you can get clean no matter how much you think you cant.
i believe in you all.
god speed anons..

>>684262152
3 years

I don't smoke weed or drink or anything either.

Just work, watch tv, sleep, and go fishing. It's ok.

My name is Joseph Wickström and I am a scarecrow

Non user here. But i always wonder how you feel when using it?

>>684277388
you feel great, like ttotally content

>>684276967
can relate, day drinkin is when it turns really bad. i slay at LEAST a 5th everyday. and thats cutting back. if i could afford it id go testicles too the blender and down a liter of vodka everyday

i wish i was a child again

>>684277388
like a little bitch

On the 19th I'll have six months clean from dope.
I can honestly say that I have never been happier. I have a stable relationship with my family, my child, and my significant other. I've still got a lot of growing to do, but seeing how far I have come is what motivates me. my 3 1/2 year old explaining to me how much she missed me, and how happy she is that I'm back. She's my biggest motivation. Not having to jab a needle in my arm everyday just to get by is a pretty incredible feeling.

>>684277886
good for you man! keep it up! i believe in you, i know you can keep it up.. it only gets better! c:

OP here
if anyone is in the NY or NJ area and wants help, i can set up contacts to get you into a program.
dont be afraid, reach out before its too late.

>>684278055
Thank you! I'm doing it one day at a time. But I'm excited to see what the future holds. My sponsor has 20 plus years and it's incredible to see how far she has come!

Ive been talking/dating (idk what to call it but besides the point) and shes been clean for over 4 months now and im proud of her, she struggles every day and on top of that shes seen her ex commit suicide by shooting himself in the head, shes seen others OD, shes fucked up in the head and blames herself for their passing

>>684278569
thats awesome to hear, i dont know you, but im proud of you

>>684278688
ive had my cousin die in my arms, my other cousin died in the room next to me, lost more friends than i can count from suicide, drug overdoses, and shootings... i wish i could unsee those things but you cant. you need to use it to help yourself and others, telling your story could save a life, i know she can recover, with time anything is possible

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>>684262275
I FUCKING FEEL YOU MAAAN <3 :* add me on fb pls so we can chat about life *not gay* i just want to have some anal action

>>684278688
i had a friend khs when he got busted, cause he didnt want to go to prison. he was a very depressed guy. people you know OD or die from an infection.. she probably feels guilty over being more concerned about her jones rather than helping these people.

>>684279098
Thats what i tell her as clichė as it sounds, but shes got ptsd from seeing that and she was telling me all about it last night and i hate to sound like a hipster /x/ faggot but i am a very spiritual person and i could feel her exs presence as she was talking to me about him offing himself, my whole body was covered in goosebumps and the hairs on my neck were standing up on end

>>684279382
dont have facebook its dumb

>>684279675
you felt the exs presence? were you high? lol

>>684279538
Idk man, she blames herself for what she said prior to it happening, but seeing that just made it 10x worse

>>684280017
Like i said dude, hate to sound like im from /x/ but yea i could, and naw ive never touched dope in my 23 years of existence, nvr thought id get feelings for an ex junkie either

>>684276295
Thanks for your honesty anon. Have a nice day.

Hook me up j7

>>684277285
Thank you anon.

>>684280396
im not one to doubt someone without aposing evidence, but do you REALLY think her boyfriend was a ghost and just hanging out in that room -,- ?