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I did something very illegal /b/. I know the cops will be at
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Thread replies: 75
Thread images: 12
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I did something very illegal /b/.
I know the cops will be at my house in a couple of hours. What do I do?
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assuming you're in the US, shoot everyone
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>>684123312
What did you do anon?
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First of all what did you do?
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How illegal are we talking?
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Microwave your drives and hang your dildos on the ceiling
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>>684123312
If we are talking about illegal memes - just hide them in your oven.
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Go n get a whore
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Brush your teeth
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>>684123312
Depends really, if you killed someone then why stop there. Just cap the PD, if it's like jerking off in a public place then you can still be proud about it, I mean it took balls
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go somewhere else
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yeah like what did you do
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OP is a faggot and cant answer what he did
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>>684123312
You could start by writing it all out before it's too late
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>>684124032
You are just butthurt because he won't tell your faggot ass what he did
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>>684123312
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op probably got arrested now lets derail thread my guess of what he did
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I wont say what I did but I will say that theres no way out, i will probably spend 15+ years in jail
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>>684124182
You are just a faggot because you told that guy hes butthurt
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>>684123444
>444
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>>684124244
If you know your going to jail just tell us faggot before you get married to bubba when you drop the soap
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>>684124196
bullshit, hdd dvd shaped discs don't shatter at all. most of them are tough as shit.
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>>684124244
did you rape a toddler?
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>>684124244
Go to your sheriff's website and see if there is a warrant out for you before you freak out.
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>>684124244
then why the fuck even post this thread at all?
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>>684124630
there aren't warrants immediately after doing something dumbass.
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>>684123312
dont answer the door and make it look like no one's home. they cant just break into your house. and tell your siblings not to answer and if they do, then tell them the cops cant just barge in without a court-signed search warrant.
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>>684124244
>I wont say what I did but I will say that theres no way out, i will probably spend 15+ years in jail
>We have literally seen people post murder pics on this board but OP won't even say what he did

What kind of faggot are you OP? If it's true that there's no way out then why not tell us? You're fucked either way right?
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>>684123312
Lay low fam
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>>684124244

Pussy.

Find the tightest pair of underwear you have, put them on AND WEAR NOTHING ELSE

Hang random objects from your ceiling by strings, the more sexual or bizarre the better

Drench yourself in lube, or if you don't have that, vegetable oil

Find the most bizarre porn you can that isn't illegal (don't want to ADD to your sentence after all) turn on the speakers as loud as they go

When you see the cops arrive, turn that shit on, begin rubbing your nipples, and moan in ecstasy

When the cops finally break down your door, look them dead in the eye and say in the gayest, most southern-drawl iest voice you can, "Your move, Mr. Law Man."
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Obvious troll thread

Summer is coming guys
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>>684124630
>implying the city ever updates their websites more than once a month

OP either CPed
Raped
Child something
Murdered someone
was a faggot and lied because everyone lies here
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>>684124679
this thing happened a while ago but it about to all lead back to me
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>>684124244
>I will not say what I did

Then why the fuck would you make the thread? Nobody here gives a shit about you. We only post to laugh at whatever stupid decision you made. If you won't say what you did, you're worthless.

Enjoy being Tyrone's cocksleeve for 15+ years.
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>>684124241
This is likely the case
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>>684124679
No shit edgefag. My point was is there is one that was filled and pending execution, he could see it.
>fuck you
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>>684123312
this... Make them remember you
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>>684123312
change house?
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>>684124828
>not just posting the image
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>>684123312
Be the next jimmy Russels
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>>684124999

Thank god you have it, it was a bitch trying to fucking remember it all
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Idk OP maybe if you weren't a nigger that committed crimes, you wouldn't be in this situation.
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>>684123312
> I know the cops will be at my house in a couple of hours.
Call a cab and drive to the police station yourself.
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Try to beat his score
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>>684123312
you better get moving to another state/country unless you want to lose your freedom dickhead.
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>>684124828
top kek
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Guys I think this is bait shhhheeeeeeeiiiiit
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>>684123692
>why stop there
fkcn keked
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>>684124170
?
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Fucking hell OP, you gotta tell us the reason or we can't help you. But here's few tips: Try to somehow make it that you'll be considered mentally ill. Go over to close relative/friend or anyone, who could look after you without saying a word to anybody. I'll tell more useful info if you'll give us the reason.
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If you have enough money for a good lawyer, call and talk to one right this second. If not:
>drop phone in toilet or any water
>burn clothes and all evidence of crime somewhere smoke stacks won't be noticed and reported
>worst part, gotta fuck up your finger prints somehow which will hurt no matter how its done
>cancel all card/debit cards
>try and establish a fake alibi(extremely difficult)
>sell vehicle to non-dealership, for cash only.
>get private (non commercial) flight to another continent with non-US expedition laws
>start life over again
Good luck anon.
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>>684124828
I zozzled
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>>684124244
ruf times are cumin . get urself to some store with a friends car or strh. buy canned food and knife ropes tents n shit. forget your friends and all your basic life . go north until you find a big forest or some waste land or try to reach brazil by car or mexico . just go to a country which is not first world . police forces are not that effective and your state police arent allowed to act . live exile for a couple of years . but before you go destroy every electronic device you have and when you cross borders you need to get rid of your id
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>>684125965
>non-US expedition laws

Fucking lol. Mr. Livingston, I presume?
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>>684124979
greentexting "fuck you" haha
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how much power would they have over my cell phone or records?
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>>684126280
None. Tell us.
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>>684125965
shit nigger he doesn't have a fuckin week
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>>684126280
this isn't fucking csi faggot. That doesn't happen in real life unless you just tried to murder obama
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>>684126044
you may be able to get back one day but only as an illegal immigrant. its what i would do
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>>684126044
what world do you live in does heading north take you to brazil? how many crimes are there to commit in antarctica?
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>>684126417
You're a fucking idiot. It literally happens every day, in every state in the US.
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>>684124032
>>684124319
Obvious samefagging. Stupid nignog
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>>684123312
Go to the police station and turn yourself in. Save everyone the trouble.
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>>684126280
they cant see in your phone but who you called , how long , when and then u basically know everything . but u cant give urself time if u destroyed it
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>>684126623
to remotely view what you're doing on your cellphone? uh yeah, no.
sorry I assumed you wouldn't write a full confession on here, and ziplock your phone and write in sharpie "to police" on it.
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OP come back and tell us. We're your friends.
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>>684126623
>or try to reach brazil. OR [OR]
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>>684123312
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K62plXGx6QQ
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>>684126245
>>684126344
If he's committed as serious a crime as the post would suggest (murder, molestation, ect) these are all steps one must take to avoid imprisonment. And it certainly would not take a week, 24 hours would be more than enough time especially since you'd be on the move for most of it so you don't have a set location.
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>>684126575
>too retarded to understand a sentence
ever heard of the word 'or'?
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>>684124244
suicide is always an option op.
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>>684124244
tells who you are and we'll send mail
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>>684124828
my sides kek
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>>684124770
fuck off chip
Thread replies: 75
Thread images: 12

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