>>683948459
UPDATE: Scratching it with a toothbrush doesnt help
My family will be home soon please help

>>683948459
bump bump bump

Use alcohol, it should dissolve the oil

>>683948459
its oil shithead

it soaked through the stone. you are kinda fucked. find a degreaser or something that removes oil stanes.

i uest to wokr at a grantie op so i knwo

Get some bleach, warm water and a strong brush and get to work.

50/50 vinegar and water

>>683948459
pour coconut oil over the rest of them too so they match. nobody will notice the stain that way.

pore coke on it and leave it fore 5 min. it shold desolve the stain or make a coke stain witch is easier to explain.

>>683948945
its not working with alcohol

Is that actual ceramic tile or does it happen to be vinyl that looks like ceramic?

>>683949402
find a degreaser. Purple power shit like that. try dawn if you dont have the other stuff.

>>683948459
cum on it
let it dry
scrape it off
stain b gone

spill something else on it

put a shoe over it

>>683948459
Ok. There are stones that are damaged by acids and bases, dont go rubbing shit all over the floor.

If you have a powdered laundry soap make up a slurry paste and rub it in with a soft cloth.

Being an oil you need something soap based, acids and bases wont do shit.

After a few minutes of working it gently start sopping up the paste with a clean rag and fresh water.

Its unlikely youll have any but a tablespoon of TSP in the laundry soap will really help cut the oil

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>>683949260
Fucking genius

>>683949260
This is a good idea

If you can get some cat litter grind it into stain , sweep up then clean up residual with water or floor cleaner. If not get some dry dirt and do same.

>>683949511
idk what the floor is made of

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>>683949587
Thought that maybe burning off the alcohol would help, i was wrong

>>683948459
just say you dont know wtf they are talking about

also nice job using coconut oil that is top tier lubrication

>>683949260
>follows anons advice
>pours coconut oil all over rest of tiles
>it matches
>owners come home
>walk into kitchen to put groceries away
>all slip and break their necks
>OP walks back into kitchen to the scene of his family members strewn across the kitchen floor
>blood, broken limbs, gasps of dying breaths, coconut oil, hotdogs, bananas.
>OP picks up banana for prostate stimulation as he continues to jack off

>>683948459
Is that travertine? If so.... BWHAHAHAHAHAH you are fucked sir. Travertine soaks up everything.

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>>683950047
OMFG thanks bro, no one will notice now

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>>683950781
no problem /b/ro

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>>683950608
Overdose, have a seizure and shit all over the tile.

Your family will come home and realize you're out cold, and call the amberlamps. They'll clean up your shit and just think the stain was caused by your filthy garbage poops.

>>683950744
check'd and kek'd

>>683950484
Is it slippery and smooth like plastic or does it feel like stone?

>>683948459
UPDATE: My brother came home and didnt notice, when he leaves ill go for cleaning laundry shit

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>>683948459
>cum on tile
>this is my fetish
>mfw

You must use gasoline to get oils out of porous ceramics. Although, I suppose gas isn't really a household thing, so maybe try acetone?

>>683951372
its stone, the stain is probably 4 meters inside it by now

>>683951464
Most people have some gas in there house from my experience, we always have a red 5 gallon can half full or so.

>>683948459
how the fuck does your head stain the floor poorfag?

just tell them you spilled some oil while cooking

>>683951774
this

Feel it, tap on it with a knuckle. If it's stone it will be hard and that means it's not as porous as well. HOT WATER and baking soda 1/3 & laundry soap 2/3. Apply with hott water mixed,

If it's softer it's vinyl and it is porous and can stain easy don't use any bleaches or the like.

you need to hammer the stain out OP
lay a thick towel over the stain
hammer hard in the spots where the stain is most prominent
in about 20-30 hits the stain should now be transferred to the towel

what about washing up liquid

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>>683951774
That could be a solution, if the stain wasn't where my desktop is, on the living-room, upstairs

>>683952162
THIS

Blast it with piss

>>683952162
if dubs do this

>>683952195
google what coconut oil is used for, say you had it for whatever one of those reasons you prefer, "and I left it there and managed to bump into it and it spilled"

have you never told a lie before?

don't u have a carpet?

if u execute properly you should be able to put said carpet over the stain

>>683949511
It's ceramic tile. If it was vinyl the grout lines would be white

>>683952526
i think its ceramic tile, what can be used on it to dont fuck it up more?

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>>683948459
UPDATE: Also i was having fun in my bed and noticed more stains, pic related its the stains.
Can they be cleaned easily?

>>683950744
Let me continue that for you anon
>Neighbors notice parents missing
>Knock on door and OP answers
>Says some bullshit about them being away
>Clearly nbors dont buy it
>They back off, but OP knows he's in shit
>Sees huge red stains on the carpet from where they fell
>Decide to employ the same trick again
>Murders neighbors and spreads their blood over the rest of the carpet so it looks even

Dishwashing liquid would get rid of the oil in a jiffy

Contact solution if you have it. Removes proteins.

>>683952658
Just clean the grout. It should be white, not gray. Mommy will be so impressed it will change the focus to the grout and not your fuck up

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use acne cream, it works with permanent marker on your barbie dolls too.

>>683952762
You jack all over the house

>>683952989
you don't?

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>>683948459
Fuck this I wont be able to pull off a nice excuse, some of you guys are alright.
Dont go tomorrow to school
West Side

>>683948459
Acetone or something like that

>>683952195
spill something thats more believable on it

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>>683950744
>>683952784
MAXIMUM KEK

>>683953025
No. I pick one have a rotation of masturbation spots I go through one at a time.

have you tried with soda?

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>>683952784
>cops come over
>hey where are ur neighbours?
>vacation.vmg
>dont buy it
>cops sees blood and neighbours
>run out to the backyard around the swimming pool
>cops chase
>all according to plan
>run around the pool for hours
>cop decide to jump in the pool to get to me
>jokes on u, pool is filled with coconut oil
>cop drown
>mfw

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>>683953167

This is propably the clean part of the floor

>>683953238
that plan will never work you skelefag

>>683952762
Just wash the sheets, you'll be fine. Getting it warm makes it flow away. Doesn't help so much with tile, but with sheets it does

>>683953238
>watch dead cop floating in pool
>there's now a cop stain on OP's coconut oil
>must hide the stain
>gets gun from the house
>calls police station
>"there's coconut oil on my marble!"
>cops come, backyard is a death trap
>OP home alone's his house
>cops slipping on coconut oil everywhere, its havoc
>OP shoots fumbling police
>Throws bodies in pool till coconut oil matches the cop stain

>>683948459
UPDATE:
>Im done, nothing is working
>My parents can't be more dissapointed on me
>On the future ill post again to tell you what happened
>Goodbye /b/ros

Sincerely,

Your friendly neighborhood, Cockonut Stainlord

Bleach it op BLEACH IT

>>683953122
This. Spill some milk on it and leave it there, or something. They will think it just soaked into the stone.

Coconut oil is seriously the best thing to fap with

Use a toilet plunger to such the oil out

>>683953792
>Cock n' nut stainlord*
there, fixed it for you

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>>683948459
Since of Mericans of living of an exigency/emergency of a technology so I am of communication of spiel of technology of text of:_"-------\_
Three/3 communications/explanations/informations/texts of a technology:
1/One: body muscle movement caused/since of energies at human caused/since of energies sent from machines far of miles/kilometers;
and/or/an-other-communication of 2/Two: human of technology of machines...machines transmit/send energy...energy at/striked/hitting metals in human...metals moved/arranged...so/causing/thus...electricity of in of body so...body muscle flexing of human of living of tensing/slackening of muscle;
and/or/an-other-communication of 3/Three: STIMULATION OF BODY-MOVING/LIKE-SENSE SINCE OF ELECTRICITY OF CAUSED OF IN OF BODY SINCE 1. tiny metals in human 2. metals moved since of energies striked/hitting metals 3. energies sent/from machine far/distant/not-close/no-nearness of miles.
_/-------"_:-_
I got/received a text of communication/question/ask of technology of body muscle flexing caused of energies of machines far of miles:_"\_ Everyone knows this already. How do you fix it. _/"_:-_ . I am of communication/answer/reply of letter of word of language of text of:_"\_ Humans of policing/military live of:_[\_ slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles since of brain of body of since of human of living of brain of body of since of sense/sensation of communication/text/speech of computer program software of language of words of anything/everything/eachthing/allthings of human of living of _{-\_[-\_ slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles _/-]_{--\_[--\_ and _/--]_ and _[--\_ or _/--]_/--}_[-\_ flexing of muscles so of living of muscle of nearer and and or farther of muscle _/-]_/-}_/]_:-_/"_:-_ .

>>683953792
its not like your parents will know what you did just becasue of a barely visible stain on a tile

The only way to dissolve the oil and penetrate into the pores of the tile is amixture of bleach and ammonia.

>>683954434
Wow bleach actually helped, or at least it seems like it

>>683955290
It might work faster if you drink it

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>>683948459
Faggot, is it so hard to just use your hand or a sock. No worries I have your back.
>sit-rep
>oils soaked through
>can't clean up
>so stain sticks out...
Ok, grab more coconut oil and throw it in the microwave. Next rub it all over your body and (this next step is crucial so pay attention) you have to get naked and flop on the floor like a fish and make sure to cover every inch of the tile. If it's all stained there is no stain bruh

>>683950781
Post bare feet

>>683951444
Checked

>>683955365
im not amanda

If you just cum on the stain and rub it in, the white will absorb into the tile and brighten the dark stain. Just don't use coconut oil this time.

>>683955911
No shit - she didn't fap using coconut oil

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>>683952762
Ammonia and bleach anon it's a miracle cleaner. Smells like lemons and cleans everything instantly without having to wash it.

Just use dawn dish washing liquid. should take it right out

>>683954194
>OPs parents see stain
>"OP were you in here rubbing coconut oil on your dick"