what smells like a fart, but tastes like a burp?

>>683868722
ur mum

>>683868722
What?

>>683868722
Gas

I hold that which encompasses the planet, but am only as large as you. What am I?

brussel sprouts

>>683868586
That puzzle is giving me a panic attack

What's red but smells like blue paint?

>683869456
red paint...

What walks on 4 legs during the day, 2 at noon, and 3 at night?

>>683869109
The internet.

>Your Welcome

A fish has 2883 scales on the left side and 2883 scales on the right side, which side has the most scales?

>>683869456
red paint

>>683869456
ur mums arse

>>683869109
>>683868722
Ok I am stumped on these 2

>>683869577
The outside

>>683869577
Trick question. Fish don't have scales. They have gills.

>>683869796
True

>>683868586
What has two letters that are the same, but also does not?

>>683869109
Air? Money? People? Sex dolls?

>>683869570
>man kind
Greek mythology?

>>683869748
yep

>>683869577
The outside

>>683869796
>>683869854
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fish_scale

A fish without blue face, cold as death with key or lids brings high mountains down?

File: map of galaxy of_ _Milky Way__ 41 seconds of 43 minutes of 19 hours of 18 days of a month of 2016 years.png (1 MB, 1799x1077) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 1799x1077

>>683868586
I am of communication of reality/life of picture of galaxy of:_{-\_"\_ Milky Way _/"_ of map of human/embassy/base/matter-ta-war of since/so/cause of human of living of military of nation of:_"\_ United States _/"_:-_ of:_{\_ Randy Cramer live at the Triad Theater on Nov 14, 2015 Part 2 _/"_ of moment/time of:_"\_ 13:41/1:34:02 _/"_:-_ of text of link of:_"\_ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvumYInLXy8 _/"_:-_/}_:-_ of since of a human of named of:_"\_ Randy Cramer _/"_:-_ of military of:_"\_ United States Marine Corps Special Section _/"_:-_ of military of:_"\_ United States Air Force _/"_:-_ of showed/communicated of the picture of galaxy of:_"\_ Milky Way _/"_:-_ of _/-}_:-_ since of Mericans of living of an exigency/emergency of a technology of body muscle flexing caused of energies at metals of in/at of human since of energies sent/from of machines of far of miles/kilometers of human of stimulated ta body muscle slackening/tensing; so I am of communication of spiel of technology of text of:_"-------\_
Three/3 communications/explanations/informations/texts of a technology:
1/One: body muscle movement caused/since of energies at human caused/since of energies sent from machines far of miles/kilometers;
and/or/an-other-communication of 2/Two: human of technology of machines...machines transmit/send energy...energy at/striked/hitting metals in human...metals moved/arranged...so/causing/thus...electricity of in of body so...body muscle flexing of human of living of tensing/slackening of muscle;
and/or/an-other-communication of 3/Three: STIMULATION OF BODY-MOVING/LIKE-SENSE SINCE OF ELECTRICITY OF CAUSED OF IN OF BODY SINCE 1. tiny metals in human 2. metals moved since of energies striked/hitting metals 3. energies sent/from machine far/distant/not-close/no-nearness of miles.
_/-------"_:-_

>>683869796
False, the black bear

I'm the birthplace of all memes. What am I? Hint: Starts with 4 and ends with n.

Wh... what have I got in my pocket...?

>>683869570
your mom?

>>683870065
The loominatee

File: merely pretending.jpg (195 KB, 1224x1445) Image search: [Google]

195 KB, 1224x1445

>>683869796

>>683869109
Water. Ez.

>>683870188
Something for me?

>>683870148
ME, ME, I KNOW, IT'S 4 HORSEMEN!

>>683868722
Oxygen?

>>683870148
got it. 4gagn

>>683870026
Jornko, the faceless mountain-smashing fish of death.

>>683869796
Kek

>>683869109
Air

>>683870188
your handses?

>>683868722
A rotten egg

>>683869570
A person going through life

>>683870188
your handses

>>683869796
obligatory

>>683870384
Technically correct

>reaches in pocket, pulls out middle finger
ah, I'm just joshin you
>reveals a shiny quarter
Don't tell your grandma, now

I have no mouth but I must scream. What am I?

>>683869942
Sphinx

always running, never walks
often murmurs, never talks,
has a bed but doesn't sleep.
has a mouth but never eats.
wat iz it /b/?

>>683870533
>>683870594

Trick question. I'm not wearing pants.

When is 100 less than 70?

>>683870678
The main character of the short story "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream"

File: dryhumor.jpg (7 KB, 269x188) Image search: [Google]

7 KB, 269x188

I am the answer. What am I?

>>683868722
Methane?

>>683870810
When women cry rape

>>683870810
In Z 80, the group of integers modulo 80.

>>683870853
42?

>>683870725
Water?

>>683870725
a river

>>683870725
River, duh.

>>683870725
a river?

>>683870725
River

>>683870492
The answer is time

File: 1462926665276.gif (727 KB, 300x199) Image search: [Google]

727 KB, 300x199

>>683870840

=O

spoooooOOOOoOOOOOOOOOOOOoooookyyyyyyyyyyy!

File: image.jpg (66 KB, 959x1124) Image search: [Google]

66 KB, 959x1124

>>683870810
When it's in dollars

>>683869956
That wiki page was edited.

File: 1462584637668.png (929 KB, 800x601) Image search: [Google]

929 KB, 800x601

what gets wetter as you dry it and dryer as you wet it?

>>683870664
Joke's on you. My grandma would laugh in your face and leave you with nothing but quarters and shame.

>>683871269
>87.4
>less than 70

Eurotrash. Enjoy your dune coons.

>>683871142
time and Jonko

>>683871348
Drying yourself off with a towel

>>683870403
Thinly veiled, anon.

>>683871353
That's why I divorced her

>>683871269
Smart but the answer was a microwave. This works too though.

It is found between Nigger and Queer, and also is both.

>>683870148
the mighty fawn

>>683870678
Matt, Pat or Woolie

[4x5]

11011001100110011111

11111001111110001000

10001000100010001000

11111000111100011111

11111001111110011001

11111000111010001000

11111001111110011001

11111000101110011111

>>683871706
op?

>>683871603
>sad face

>>683871810
a dustbin

>>683869576
my welcome what

>>683871633
A microwave?! Nigger, are you plum fucking retarded?

100 != 1:00

>>683871826

Bingo.

>>683872020
Your welcome stocking.

>>683869570
Baby, adult, old person
I love the dark tower series

>>683868586
three old ladys go to a baseball game together. they bring with them a ten pack of beer. They enjoy thier beer and watch the game. As the baseball game continues the old women get quite drunk. The old ladys have drank eight and three quarters of thier beer.

What inning is it and is there anybody on base?

>>683872075
if you type in 8 0 it will run for 60 seconds. If you type 1 0 0 it'll run for 60.

>>683872498
There's no such thing as a 10 pack of beer, you fucking nose queef.

>>683872656
i mean 80. whatever i'm drunk

>>683869873
done and dawn

>>683872498
this gave me cancer.

>>683868586
Riddle me this
riddle me that
what is that cube and can i have it

>>683872708
there is in the UK with some brands.

>>683872656
...no, you slippery kike. It will run for 80 seconds if you type 80.

>>683872930
That's an imaginary place.

>>683872442
Dark tower series??
This better be bait you fucking loser because i took a huge fucking bite out of your blatant autism

>>683873196
kek

File: 1381620502361.gif (373 KB, 500x375) Image search: [Google]

373 KB, 500x375

>>683872442
>I love the dark tower series

File: 1461870206459.jpg (17 KB, 480x360) Image search: [Google]

17 KB, 480x360

>>683872656
Fine. Press 7 0 and hit start. Then hit the 'add 30 seconds' button.

QED

File: kermit1(1).png (388 KB, 800x768) Image search: [Google]

388 KB, 800x768

I am broken but I still work

>>683870725
A river, don't know if it's been solved before this, but I'm answering anyways

>>683873359
My heart.

>>683873312
>>683872718
i said im drunk you antisemitic little ah who cares

>>683872442
>Sphinx Riddle
>The Dark Tower
Do you realize that riddle is way more ancient than that book?
I hate it when people think the first thing they read something in must be what invented it

>>683872955
Still he's right.
type 70 and it'll run for 70 seconds
type 100 and it'll run for 60 seconds
so 100 is less than 70

>>683873359
Everyone here :(

>>683873359
My heart.

>>683870725
Your teenage sister.

What kind of bear is best?

>>683873539
Holy shit dude

What's do you get when you mix caboodle with a doodle?

>>683873359
Your mom's ass

File: feels.jpg (18 KB, 339x271) Image search: [Google]

18 KB, 339x271

>>683873466

>>683872708
>>683872795
>being this amerifat

>>683873359
A man in a wheelchair

>>683873707
a bearing

>>683873707
Black bear

>>683873751
caturday

>>683873707
drop bear. no contest

File: 1402601654069_2(1).jpg (4 KB, 142x143) Image search: [Google]

4 KB, 142x143

>>683873826

>>683873707
fact : bears eat beets

>>683873359
A rock

>>683868586
Fucking $900 to buy one of those fuckers, no thanks.

File: mahnigguh.jpg (35 KB, 300x226) Image search: [Google]

35 KB, 300x226

>>683873856
beat me to it

>>683873530
No. You're typing 1 0 0. Representing 1:00. Not 100.

If you tell it to nuke for 100 seconds, it will nuke for 100 seconds.

Therefore 100 ! < 70 you niglet

what goes up the chimney but not down?
>jewish santa claus

>>683874013
Hey, guys. I found the asshole.

I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?

What sees without looking
What hears but never listens
What talks buy never speaks
What lives without breathing

Some times I'm at the bottom?
Some times I'm at the Top;
some times I just keep going........
sometimes I just mean stop.

>>683873359
A Mexican

>>683874423
kek

File: scarybusey.webm (202 KB, 416x240) Image search: [Google]

202 KB, 416x240

At what point do you realize what you've realized that you realized?

>>683874417
a faggot

>>683874278
a downsyndrome being chocked?

>>683874417
Period. Niggaaaaaaaaaaa

>>683874417
raper?

>>683874278
The NSA

>>683874157
Are you retarded?
if you type 2 digits, it'll run for that amount of seconds.
But if you type 3 digits, it'll run for first digit amount of minutes and the other 2 digits amount of seconds.
So if you type 70, it'll run for 70 seconds, but if you type 100 it will run for 1 minute, 60 seconds.
So, since 70 = 70 seconds and 100 = 60 seconds, 100 is less than 70.

>>683874621
Yea

>>683870148
4skin

>>683874523
Nah...retard....go watch my lil pony..

What is and why is it? Cuz drugs!! But also beer?

>>683874276
AIDS

>>683874278
a clock

File: 9b07d0faebb2c106bc432ebcb0582ef77be81f09_full.jpg (5 KB, 184x184) Image search: [Google]

5 KB, 184x184

>>683874208
>being this sensitive here

>>683870148
Facebook

>>683874705
Why is everyone arguing cause of this bullshit it's a godamn riddle, get a life fags

>>683874276
a clock

>>683874852
no

>>683874417
a clock

>>683874954
nope

>>683874276
rain?

tHE HORSES NAME WAS FRIDAY

>>683874646
MAH NIGGGGGGGAHHHH.

>>683874705
You're not typing 100.
You're typing 1:00.

To type 100, type 7 0. Then, hit the add 30 seconds button. Then you will see, 100 is not less than 70.

I'm green but I'm also red
I have two faces but you see none
I bring joy to some but love to none

The fuck am i?

>>683873359
a clock

>>683868586
i like sucking cocks
i like dicks in my ass
i am pos

who am i?

>>683874950
Let them have it is what keeps them alive...

>>683875073
nah

>>683875146
Trump!

>>683875078
HOLY SHIT HES RIGHT

>>683875146
Your wife

>>683875118
a clock

File: dzJzy5t.png (20 KB, 540x342) Image search: [Google]

20 KB, 540x342

Have fun op.

>>683875224
wew lad

>>683875146
OP

>>683868722
It's a brussell sprout, yoy stole that joke from an SNL sketch, and not even a good one.

That dyke from the shitty ghostbuster remake. does a pretty decent shillary, though.

File: s1200_wisely[1].jpg (100 KB, 734x388) Image search: [Google]

100 KB, 734x388

>>683875411

>>683874788
kek

I am in everything,
Yet I am impossible to find
If I am found, I'm impossible to follow
What am I?

what has a feminine penis but is still a woman? and it isnt gay to masturbate to them?

I'm a clock

What am I?

>>683870188
Air

>>683875795

light

File: 4431653_orig.png (24 KB, 185x247) Image search: [Google]

24 KB, 185x247

I have two faces, but show you one.
I once had guests, but now have none.
I'm rarely bloody and seldom blue.
I'm often promised and sometimes new.

>>683875795
A clock

>>683875795
dreams

>>683875795
a clock

>>683875795
On second thought, I may have written to this super wrong, but whatever

>>683868722
Dubs?

>>683875901
a clock

>>683870853

36

>>683875976
a clock

>>683875814
Nothing, masterbating to anything with a penis is gay, nigger faggot

>>683875976
A dead aborted fetus

Those who make it have no need for it,
Those who buy it have no use for it,
Those who use it can neither see nor feel it.

What is it?

>>683871348

sponge?

>>683872930
>>683873791
You don't go to a baseball game in the UK you niggers.

What's brown and sticky?
Protip: not a stick

File: 1426877881920.jpg (37 KB, 640x443) Image search: [Google]

37 KB, 640x443

>>683875994
Nigga you made me drop my blunt.

>>683874276
The sun

Ezzzzzzzzz

>>683876313
A sticky stick

>>683868586
Go fuck yourself. That's not a riddle. Just, go fuck yourself.

>>683876249
coffin

>>683875976
my balls

>>683876313
my nard

>>683876337
nope

File: Drah.png (99 KB, 454x349) Image search: [Google]

99 KB, 454x349

>>683869570

File: IT'S_A_TRAP.jpg (66 KB, 1040x798) Image search: [Google]

66 KB, 1040x798

>>683875814

>>683871782
Pat

>>683875901
A phone

>>683876456
noice m8