>>683688137
An hero

nearest wood,

>>683688137
Fight ISIS

Look for people so that you can rape them

kill OP for doing this to me

Hike towards nearest human settlement while taking inventory of the contents of your backpack.

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>>683688256
Not yet.
>>683688293
You frolick into the woods. You're near the edge now.

>>683688867
hang myself off the highest tree

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>>683688829
You check the contents of your backpack. You have a flashlight, a bedroll, and your best friend and companion Mikey the tarantula.

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>>683689295
Eat the tarantula.

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>>683689432
You feel a mixture of shame and regret.

>>683689787
Mikey gives you AIDS

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>>683690058
You knew he was messing around behind your back. You just couldn't prove it. You have AIDS now.

Set up camp in the woods and meditate on the shameful act of arachnibrocide you have committed. Fall into a deep sleep. Have a prophetic dream of a grand adventure.

>>683689787
bite your leg and drink the blood to wash down the spider

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>>683690392
You decide you're thoroughly lost and build a teepee. The sounds of horns from the highway lull you to sleep as you remember your dear companion.

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In your dream, you are a brave knight on a quest to slay the evil Wasp Boy. What would you like to do?

>>683690438
this

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>>683691103
You know not of the consumption of spiders, for thou art a noble knight in this dream. You have no time for such silly imaginings.

Find wasp boy and kill him with your dream sword, but not before mumbling a Steven Seagal one-liner.

If dubs use the flashlight battery to start a fire and kill self

>>683691264
a big boi stops in your path, you say "oh shit whatddup!"

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>>683691438
You find a map to wasp boy's location within your backpack! What now?

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>>683691876
Rip up the map.

>>683691876
head towards church and then stab the pope

>>683691994
this

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>>683691976
>>683691994
>>683691729
You destroy the map and head towards the church when you are suddenly stopped by Le Big Boi and his one-legged horse. You say, "oh shit whatddup!"

>>683692376
omg

>>683692376
that boi joins your party

>>683691876
Practice mumbling, "imma snatch every motherfucker birthday" as you head towards wasp boy's lair.

>>683692548
With dat Boi obviously.

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>>683692376
Fuck dat boi in his ass.

>>683688137
Whip out my "sword" and "fight" him

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>>683692529
>>683692548
Dat boi decides to become your friend! You continue your journey, quietly mumbling to yourself.

>>683692958
you finally get to the church. you approach the pope when dat boi starts seizing

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>>683692673
>>683692761
You violate dat boi. He says, "o shit stop". You don't.

>>683693457

be manipulative to dat boi, clean him up, apologize, then hit him, play hard to get, then

>>683693307

>>683693457
make a mix tape and blast that shit, make your way to the church

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You apologize.

>>683694537
Ask him to get you a drink

Find a time machine

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>>683694403
You blast your mixtape all the way to the church.

>>683694865
Drink the holy water

>>683688137
Your mix tape is so hot it burns down the church

Tell dat boi that he is a dead meme. Proceed to impale him with your blade and desecrate the corpse with your mighty penis, which was forged by the gods.

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>>683695129
You drink the holy water and suddenly feel empowered.

>>683695883
Wake up

>>683695744
chek't

>>683695960
Feeling invigorated and well-rested of course.

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>>683695744
You double-penetrate dat boi and denounce him. You suddenly feel disjointed with reality.

>>683695883
With your new found emergy you decide to waste it all wanking

You rest at the nearest bonfire and spend Le Big Boi's souls on a level up

>>683696329
While you rest at the bonfire, you drift away into sleep and into another dream. This time you're a treasure hunter.

You wake up from the dream to only find yourself in the world of anime. A well endowed school girl collides into you with a peace of toast in her mouth.

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>>683695960
You awake from the dream. It is now night. A chilly one at that.

>>683696555
You masturbate furiously to get warm

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>>683696757
Things get a bit toasty.

Take out the batteries in your flashlight and throw them as far as you can into the woods

>>683697081
>>683697087
Take the batteries and shove them up your ass

>>683697081
Break the batteries open and drink the battery acid

>>683697081
As your masturbating, your also shitting and you shit out Mikey, who is still alive. He has mutated and has become bigger and stronger from the AIDS. Unfortunately, he feels betrayed and attacks you.

>>683696555
Hold your position in the camp until dawn. Pass the time by attempting to fashion a weapon out of a fallen tree branch.

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>>683696555

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>>683697283
For some reason, this doesn't make you feel great.

Go to the nearby highway and start flashing your flaccid penis in an attempt to get a ride

>>683698030
Feeling sick, you vomit back out Mikey who now has the burning desire for revenge

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The batteries trigger a bowel movement. Oh my goodness! It's Mikey!

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>>683698469
SHOE ON HEAD

>>683698421
this

>>683698469
hug mikey, say sorry

>>683698469
You eat Mikey again.

>>683698658
then bite your leg, drinking the blood to wash mikey down

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You waggle your wongle in front of the passing cars. Nobody seems to stop. Mikey is getting anxious.

>>683699156
this then
>>683698421
this

>>683699420
Calm Mikey down with some soothing throat singing while rythmically waggling your wongle some more.

>>683699420
Toss mikey into the air to scope out the place

R.I.P. thread

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>>683699773
You toss Mikey into the air. An owl swoops in and snatches him up.

Cook

>>683700865
Well, shit.

Go look for a cave to crawl into

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>>683700865
SONIC SCREAM

>>683701111
QUADS WITNESSED

>>683700865
Become shitty kung fu master, then chuck leaf at owl.

>>683700865
projectile jizz at owl

Niggers in the night about to jump the white boi

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You find a nice cave and light a fire. Hmm... something is making noise in here.

>>683701831
Nigger are making that noise
about to gang up on you

>>683701831
Dumbass fire crackles of course something is making noise

Just kidding OP you're doing great :)

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>>683701943
A black man jumps from a shadows!

>>683702422
Step to the left and watch as he burns to a crisp like the fried chicken he gobbles

You try to use the fire to remove your pubic hair so that your penis is more presentable to the black man but end up setting your entire crotch on fire

>>683702422
Scream "ooga booga" in order to attempt to communicate

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>>683702608
You step to your left.

>>683702676
this

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Leave if I get dubs

>>683703252
He's already clean shaven.

>>683703408
sweet, then fuck the black man

>>683703168
Oh fuck I didn't know this place was 2 dimensional

Kick a hot log at the negro. And by log, I mean the shit that is rocketing out of your anus

Present your penis to the nigger as a peace offering

save the white maiden in distress from the evil black thing's chains behind him

>>683703715
yes

>>683703802
HURRY OP I'M DYING WITH ANTICIPATION

Remove the straps from your backpack and string that nigger up from the nearest tree

>>683690291
Go to the nearest settlement, it needs your help

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You chop off your donger and toss it at the monkey. He's distracted!

>>683688137
>Remove the straps from your backpack and string that nigger up from the nearest tree

>>683704863
Run out of the cave to see Your Pet has Returned

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>>683705122
>>683705204
Running seems hopeless. He's hot on your tail until suddenly a flash of white sails above your head!

Try to retrieve your severed penis

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It's Mikey and the owl! Mikey wraps his web around the abo's neck and strings him up like a new set of christmas lights. Thank heavens!

>>683705812
ITS JIZZ MAN
WITH YOUR PET!

>>683705812
its a bird! its a plane! wait, no, its your boi Jinx

Now that you are safe build a wall

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>>683706981
You build yourself a cocoon from the webs that fall from the sky.

>>683707391
Hunt down the owl so you can eat Miley again

>>683707824
This

>>683707391
oh no, here comes cummie eating baby-girl! she confuses your web for cummies and starts eating away at your protective layer

Then you realize there is 3 spider egg sacs ready to hatch in the cacoon

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>>683708077
Oh no! It was full of baby spiders!

>>683707990
this

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>>683708605
it's not worth it
an hero

You open your anus to allow the baby spiders to have a proper home

>>683709197
>dear god

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Capture the spiders in your empty-batteried flashlight. You now have a spider-powered flashlight.

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>>683709197
Life has many cruel seasons,
and in this one I am lost with no reason.
I am on my knees looking at the sky,
crying out to you and asking “Why?”

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
The divide between us is as wide as the sea.
Is this how You felt, all alone on the cross?
The sadness unbearable upon our loss.

>>683709197
Why did i have to say there where spiders in the caccon

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it was at this moment you realized you fucked up

You stop being a whiny faggot and allow the baby spiders to do their thing

Look at the knife in your bag do it

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>>683709914
this again I guess