>greentext

>green
>text

>g
>r
>e
>e
>n
>t
>e
>x
>t

>g r e e n t e x t

>r

>e

>e

>n

>t

>e

>x

>t

>g
>>r
>>>e
>>>>e
>>>>>n
>>>>>>t
>>>>>>>e
>>>>>>>>x
>>>>>>>>>t

>newfags can't greentext

File: 1462661159144.jpg (59 KB, 1145x353) Image search: [Google]

59 KB, 1145x353

Niggah i got you haha 0% no chill ya dig cryin rn smh haha haha ahah

>>>>>g
>>>>r
>>>e
>>e
>n
>>y
>>>e
>>>>x
>>>>>t

>>683629906
>>683630038
>>683630726
>>683631229
>>683631745
S A M E F A G

A

M

E

F

A

G

>teengrext

>>683632027
>>y
fail

>>683632007
Shit tier b8

File: Breen.jpg (26 KB, 384x512) Image search: [Google]

26 KB, 384x512

>>>>b
>>>r
>>e
>e
>>n
>>>t
>>>>e
>>>s
>>t

File: Schermafbeelding 2016-05-10 om 21.29.21.png (76 KB, 742x627) Image search: [Google]

76 KB, 742x627

>>683632061
n o p e
o
p
e

File: yo_dawg1-622x253.jpg.45ffd16b7cf29a94c8fa5cf8d0cb78e9.jpg (27 KB, 622x253) Image search: [Google]

27 KB, 622x253

>see picture of friends in 5th grade elementary
>fuckingbald.jpg
>ask him why he was bald
>say his father did it to him
>webothlaugh.mp4
>later i realise his father died of cancer that year
>mfw

File: Lighter fluid creepypasta.jpg (76 KB, 912x335) Image search: [Google]

76 KB, 912x335

Anyone wanna help me out? I'm looking for a greentext and it goes like this:
>Anon is 8 years old, in the woods playing with a gun
>a stranger walks up to him and challenges him to shoot all cans from a distance
>he does so
>the stranger walks up to him, saying "now I've got you"
>Anon had some bullets left and scared him off
Basically he'd have been abducted if he had not; the man obviously wanted him to empty his magazine.

pic related, very similar story in structure

>Be me
>5th best telemarketer in the firm
>Cubicle is so badass, 3 motivational posters
>Just got back to work after Boss' daughter's Bar Mitzvah
>Get to typin, making the calls makin the dough
>Feelsgood.jpg
>Janie from accounting wants me to fill out recent sales forms
>Janie: 38466/10
>Drops big ass stack of papers on my desk
>"Got this, nigger bitch."
>Get to work on them papers to get to work on Janie
>Flying through thousands of papers
>Whirlwind of papers, creating sentient tornnader in my cubicle
>Coworkers gather and cheer me on as they strip of their business shirts
>Space jam theme lights the atmosphere
>Last paper
>Sweat, running out of ink, arm muscles about to turn veins into whips
>Initials, signature, date, hour, witness, hieroglyph, blood type, zodiac sign
>Almost done
>Look up, see Janie sitting provocatively with shirt unbuttoned cooking sirloin on her tits and cooling Guinness on her ass
>Wink at her and ensue Hurricane Katrina in her panties
>Sharp pain in finger after last stroke of the pen
>Dead silence, fear and unrest among coworkers
>Look down, sweettapdancingjesus.gif
>This motherfucker is about a centimeter long
>Shed a single manly tear as boss rushes paramedics my way

One more line on that paper and I would have been fucking Janie in the rec room instead of three days later in my living room.

File: 1457391205556.jpg (140 KB, 884x876) Image search: [Google]

140 KB, 884x876

>>683633981
this wasnt even a good read....

>>683633868
woahhh fuck, that was some fine ass greentext... where the fuck did he live? detroit?

>>683634522
Not gay enough for you?

>grentext?

>be me
>18yo
>we took over my Uni w/ some friends
>revolution style
>really common in my shitty country
>stay in the taken Uni for like 3 months
>be in 2nd month
>friend has some Valium
>we stole a couple of them from him with schizo friend
>pop them while watching Frozen
>couple days ahead
>schizo friend is back from his home
>Mfw he has an entire box of Valium
>get wasted
>take lots of Valium
>drink beer while watching SNK in TV room with a lot of ppl
>i start drooling
>everybody sees me
>i just say really loudly "FUCK I CAN'T DO THIS"
>their faces when i go out of TV room making a fucking wreck
>lay down in radio room
>last thoughts are that i'm in OD but i'm too fucking high to do anything
>put the beer close to my head
>mfw i woke up
>mfw i had beer all over my hair
>mfw when i wasn't dead
>keep popping pills all weeknd

>bump

File: america.png (182 KB, 944x465) Image search: [Google]

182 KB, 944x465

>>683629501

>>683633981
???
Legit have no idea what the joke is here. Can someone explain?

File: 1461361867665.jpg (59 KB, 540x509) Image search: [Google]

59 KB, 540x509

>>683636225
This was great thank you

>>683636262
Ich spreche kein Deutsch

>>683632599
underrated

>>683634285
The best fucking thing ever.

File: 1457250589702.gif (59 KB, 408x397) Image search: [Google]

59 KB, 408x397

>>683634463
most alpha thing ive ever read

good one

‍>mfw greentext is broken

> be me
> got boner at school
> teacher calls me out
> don't wanna
> come or get an F
> get up and walk to her
> everybody sees the dingo
> teacher understands it was all 'cause her V neck
> starts squeezing her boobies while asking me shit
> can't hold no more
> come in my pants
> run to the bathroom in shame
> got suspended for a month

>>683638015
holy shit, made my day

File: image.gif (942 KB, 367x490) Image search: [Google]

942 KB, 367x490

>be me. Early 20s. Tripping balls on LSD. High af
>have to pull over on shoulder of highway because I was peaking and was way too high to drive
>sitting in car, windows rolled up, listening to music, waiting to come down a bit
>Cop rolls up behind me, comes up, knocks on driver's side window.
>I ignore him. Keep jammin' to the tunes
>Cop knocks again. Says I can't park there. Asks if I'm ok.
>continue to ignore
>cop pulls out flashlight, uses it to knock on window very loudly this time
>I'm panicking. Know I have to open the window and engage officer
>I remain calm.
>I open the window and say, "Yes sir, I'd like a double cheeseburger, a large fries and a medium strawberry milkshake."
>Deadpan expression. Cop sees I am serious.
>he starts to laugh, almost hysterically. He can see my pupils are as wide as can be. I am obviously high.
>he asks me where I live. I tell him the next town which is about 15 miles away.
>he says, "You are obviously high. But you made me laugh. So I'm going to follow you home to make sure you get there safe. Can you drive?
>I nod. Start car.
>Cop follows me all the way to a house I picked in some neighborhood.
>I get out and thank him. Say I am disappointed with the quality of the milkshake, then walk toward the house as he drives away, laughing
>get back in my car and go to my real house in next town
mfw he never even asked for my ID!
At least I made him laugh!

>>683641365
Fucking cleats top kek

>>683641193
How sad

File: my sides.jpg (18 KB, 280x204) Image search: [Google]

18 KB, 280x204

>>683640642

it's so fake and gay that I'm still laughing

>>683642513
Jokes on him....

>>683642414

sounds like an Italian story, but Italians don't know what LSD is - they mostly use cocaine, weed, heroine.

File: bolognacoins.png (100 KB, 734x455) Image search: [Google]

100 KB, 734x455

>>683639233
Checked

File: powell.jpg (676 KB, 2000x3648) Image search: [Google]

676 KB, 2000x3648

>>683639472
One of the best recent greentexts

>>683643460
It happened when I lived in California, 27 years ago. Cops ain't that cool anymore. On the bright side, pot is legal on the whole West Coast! (I live in Washington now, and still occasionally dabble in psychedelics)...

File: selena-gomez1212.webm (457 KB, 400x646) Image search: [Google]

457 KB, 400x646

>Vote

http://www.strawpoll.me/10174882

>on acid
>decide to go for a walk
>around 3 am, acid is actually starting to wear off
>decide to go to little footbridge over the slew at the end of my street
>had recently been painted different bright colors and had little psychedelic colorful patterns on the ground
>hung around, smoking a joint and staring at the stars
>some guy walks up, asks for a hit
>quietly stand there and share joint with him
>he begins scooting closer and closer
>I eventually get creeped out and pretend to get called on my phone and dip
>next day cops are over at the bridge, guy an hero'd under the bridge
The bridge is also known for rapes, hobos living in the reed plants under the bridge, dumping evidence there, also found a human head in the water once, police informed us later that it was a homeless man who rolled into the slew and decayed enough that his head detached and went down stream.

File: misfortune.png (98 KB, 973x339) Image search: [Google]

98 KB, 973x339

anyone there?

>>683645925
me

>niggertext

>>683638299
I'm genuinely sad that it's over.

>>683645925
Lost my shit.