whatever you do dont hurt the doge he did nothing wrong

Had a boss once who stuffed smoked Mackrell into curtain poles of someone who didn't pay up... Ended up moving because nobody could find source of smell, boss bought the house cheap, removed Mackrell curtain poles, made 10 fold money on house

>>683596603
Hide bottles of apple juice everywhere.

kill the dog, kill her relatives

>>683596603
Put raw chicken and eggs in jars of milk and put it in her AC intake

I ain't fucking with the dog, thats too harsh. Any other suggestions besides Mackrell

>>683596603
Fish, hide fish every where

Also be careful link related
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OG9EDE_bnws

>>683597113
Throw a party.

>>683596603
quit being a fucking faggot, dump her, and get on with your life, instead of thinking of childish ways to get back at her. Its no wonder why she fucked other guys, probably niggers.

>>683597219
>faggot

Served 2 tours, fucked more girls then you can count, I'm a fucking chad you nigger.

Also, shes broke without me so I want to fuck her over with this apartment.

>>683596603
easy
>poke holes in eggs with needles
>hide the eggs all over the apartment (fake ceilings, behind couches, under the sink, etc.)
>make sure the apartment is warm or the eggs are in the warm places
>see if she has any big buckets of ice cream or butter mayo etc,
>take the whole thing out
>take a dogs shit and put it inside one
>put back in fridge
>she will use it for days before realizing whats inside that fucker

>>683597338
HAHAHA

>>683596603

eat the dog
dog shit up her place

>>683597338
How do you serve 2 tours but are too pussy to break it off with a girl because she'll be broke without you. Just do it

Just fuck one of her friends in her apartment and send her the video letting her you know she cheated. The rest of these ideas are dumb and criminal

Upper decker

>>683597580
Take the dog and put it in her ice cream

>>683596603
Hide shrimp in places nobody would look (inside vents, curtain poles like >>683596937 said, etc).

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>>683597338

>>683597338
lololol - bragging about chad-hood.

Nigger, inside you are a fucking weakling.

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>>683597903

>>683597934
hahah - I hid raw meat and human shit inside a girl's house once. inside the heating vents, inside of coush cushions, etc.

Kill the dog and spread it's body parts all through her apartment, leaving the head on the bed. You could nail it's body parts to the wall.

>>683596797
>he did nothing wrong
Neither did Hitler yet he had to die.

>>683597747
Not OP but
It's something only people with relationships understand

>>683598231
Thank you.

Also, I might go out to walmart and buy some meat and just put it around the house or get some canned goods and let them start to stink. Might cut up the rug, not sure.

Bring the dog to a shelter, tell her it ran away. Unplug the fridge. Deli meats under the carpet. Racoon bait all over the trash cans.

Instead of hiding things, can't you just burn her apartment ?
>make it look like an accident
>extinguish the fire when everything is burnt
>tell her that you wanted to save things but came too late
>"it's ok anon, i'm glad you're not hurt"
>answer "no jk i set fire everywhere kek"
>leave her

she won't be able to pursue you as every evidence burnt in the fire

Wait till she leaves, put ruber-cement in her key hole, or soder it or what-ever.
Spray paint the door green with pink spots, place an axe by the door so she can get in, cuz ur a nice guy.

>>683597338

>Trying this hard

>>683598589
>I don't try, i'm a chad bro!!1

Take wc paper and spread it all over the house. Then take fresh food as vegetables or eggs and hide it all over the house too. then kill the fucking dog and hide the corpse under her bed

>>683596603

Be happy it happened, not that it's over. If she cheated on you, your relationship has ended. Let her know that you know, but don't be a dick about it. Wrap it up and say goodbye LIKE A MAN and not like some vindictive little asshole.

>>683597338
>I'm a chad

Faggot confirmed.

You can also put anti-diarrhea pills in her food, she won't be able to take a shit for days. Very frustrating

Shit in curtain rail pole
Shit in a vent
Shit in between radiator curves
Shit in hollowed out places, generally

>>683598520
Rolling for mine, it is best revenge.

Holy shit, I still have my wedding ring from my first wife, I could propose and then dump her infront of her friends/family and tell her shes a whore

>>683597580
take a shit on the dog and put it in the fridge.

Just leave the doors cracked open and bugs and whatever from outside will come in. You could escalate by leaving raw meat somewhere and letting it get maggoty - maybe someplace she'd find it. You could even blame that shit on the dog.

>>683596603
>not living with your girlfriend

faggot!

Just tell straight away everything you know in front of her, looking her eyes, then dump her. Fucking beta

>>683599174
Additionally, leave peeled half-eaten fruit inside the open doors and watch it attract flies, ants, wasps, and other goodies.

>>683597113
Dog Shit seems readily accessible

let homeless people stay there

>>683597338
>I'm a fucking chad
Well in that case, enjoy your karma faggot

>>683596603
Don't do anything to her apartment. If her dad is cool, invite him over and discuss her cheating with him. This way there's a problem between them now and you get to leave as the good guy.

>>683596603

Take the dog to the local pound, invite homeless druggies to live in the apartment and then just leave so she comes back to a crack den with tweakers cooking meth in her kitchen.

>buy huge number of popcorn kernels
>wrap in foil in the house
>mirrors and magnifying glasses
>focus the sun from all the windows on the foil
>???
>profit

Piss in her ice cube trays

replace her birth control pills with mdma

>>683596603

Take dog home with you and give it a loving home away from the whore.

Meanwhile go to an internet cafe which lacks cameras and go on Craigslist inviting a huge free-for-all pro-Trump party with alcohol provided by the generous host. Then make another Craigslist post and, for the same day, host a huge pro-Bernie party. Then a pro-Hilary party. Leave the doors unlocked and open, leave some beers in the fridge and then just go back home with your new dog and let them tear the place apart and fucking riot the building into rubble.

fuck some hoe till the room stinks

>>683596603
Just to clarify, does he know his daughter is cheating? Does her mother? You can involve them (if they like you), ask what you did wrong, not too much pity, etc etc. Torch the family's roots a little. More effective in the long run? You bet your sweet bippy. As fun as smearing your cum and shit inside her vents and putting her tooth brush on the toilet? Well anon, I'd like to think that's up to you.

If you really want to fuck with her apartment just post her address here.

>>683599998
Hahaha yes.

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>>683600131
This. On everything she owns. Even her lingerie. I don't care if you need to hire a prostitute op

>>683600233

You must play a lot of chess because this is long-game strategy.

I vote this.

Oysters, clams, seafood. Just put tons of that shit in the most unimaginable places. In the air vents, underneath floor tiles, store them in the plumbings. That shit is going to smell so bad in one or two days that the house will be good only burnt. And the hooker, fuck some hookers all around the place before doing this.

brush teeth of doge with toothbrush of sloot

>>683596603
spread 8 bags of fly worms in her apartment they are used for fishing , when they hatch all the apartment will fill with flies try to hide them from plain view to give them some time to hatch

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>buy rubber gloves
>walk around city and find as many used syringes as possible
>cut open bottom side of couch cusions and insert needles facing upwards
>find crackhead
>pay it 30bucks to follow you and help trash her apartment leaving the couch untouched
>leave

She'll come home and see the mess, she'll shuffle through things and eventually she'll sit down to make a call.

That's where she'll regret it.

>>683599825
Did you just watch Real Genius or do you love it so much it inspired every aspect of your life?

Let black people live there when she's not home.

dip the business end of her tampons in habañero pepper juice

>>683598227

;_;

>>683599670
That's some bullshit, no matter how much she screws she is hiss daughter and anon is just one of the possible random guys in his life. Good guys get nothing. Talking from experience. Revenge is what sometimes only matters.

wipe your asshole with the insides of her pillow cases and the under sides of her sheets, flip her bed over and piss on it, then flip it back over.

stuff, garbage, a pile of poo, whatever, put it all as deep into the air vents as you can. send her a text saying something is wrong with the apartment and you have to take the dog out (dont want to punish puppy for no reason)

>>683600853
I don't think diseases last very long in needles and syringes

>>683600857
>Jerry, this is God...

>>683596603
Flea eggs.
Buy flea eggs off the internet and just spread them everywhere in her apartment. Really work them into the carpet. Remember to do the mattresses and furniture. They'll take a few days before the first ones hatch with the warming weather. They'll hatch gradually week by week. Lot's of them won't even hatch this year, it'll be a recurring plague. Don't be there when it starts.

I'm sorry bro that's awful. You should work through this in a healthy way. Want to talk about it?

Does she have a ground floor apartment? Any plants / window boxes? Plant shitloads of catnip outside, she'll be invaded by every cat in the neighbourhood.

Buy around 20-40 boxes of Rice Krispies (Or another type of cereal) and just spread them everywhere. In her bed, on the floor, in her toaster, just fucking everywhere

>>683601083
It's an apartment asshole, that means other people live in the same building.

>>683598106
how did that end ?

>>683598449
try not to damage property. dont want a lawsuit.
she gets a new cock AND money from you? not worth it. minor but awful inconveniences .

>>683597338
>I'm a fucking chad you nigger
Thank God. I prefer Chads over the autistics and depressed teens on here.

Anons here have good ideas. Videotape yourself fuck a prostitute in her lingerie. Pop the corn, smear pussy juice on her pillows, sheets, etc. Have anal over her bath towels. Leave windows open with no screen. Slightly loosen every goddamn screw in the apartment. Don't do dishes. Mix MILF, egg, raw beef and fish together into a paste; line vents and hidden corners with paste. Post ad on Craigslist for sex party; put out all of her food and alcohol, put "come in" sign on door, and then leave partway through. Say it's your daughter's place.

Just take dog and leave. If you've been together I'm sure you have a connection to the dog. Take it and go. Send her text saying. I'm know you cheated on me and I'm not not watching your place this weekend. Don't worry the dog is fine I have him and I'm keeping him.

>>683598857
oooo. not too much, but yes, this sounds delicious.

poor choice of word? nah. delicious is perfect.

>>683601316
so?

>>683596603
Bump

>>683599045
Awesome

>>683596603
just take your stuff and leave without saying a word. trust me, she'll reck her own mind

Get 3 pigs, label them 1,2 and 4.

>>683598461
they can determine if a fire was intentionally started or not based on how/where it started and how fast or slow it spread.

>>683600987
In your case you were autistic though and the dad obviously sided with his normie daughter. go download some funny frog macros

>>683601622
kekked

>>683601622
OP didn't mention firearms

>>683601622
Stale 9gag grade revenge

>>683600035
do this

then break up with her for completely unrelated reasons
LOL

>>683601627
an outlet fire is very hard to figure out but super easy to start.

IF op wanted to take this route, he could go buy an old lamp or something from a thrift store, fuck up the wire a bit, and start the fire right under the outlet/lamp. he'll have to put a small hole in the wall where the outlet is but that doesnt show up. source, firefighter.

>>683601480
Oh I guess I shouldn't expect you to understand since you still live at your mom's.

#edgelords

>>683596603
For a fun prank, hang yourself in her closet.

>>683600950
this

she won't be able to know its you

>>683602225
keked

>>683597856
Forever a classic

>>683596603
Kek at all these stupid ideas.... Want revenge? Do this:
Leave her apartment, leave the dog there and go home.
When she comes home and texts you/calls you tell her you two are over couse she cheated. Be cold dont act on it dont explain dont talk just say its over and end the call or whatever.
I guarentee you she will call constantly, text every minute, cry and be uterly assblasted and depressed. You can end it there or if you really want to destroy her, after 3-4 days of ignoring tell her you want to get back and arrange to meet and have sex.
Fuck her like a filthy whore, degrade her in every possible way and then just leave telling her shes worth nothing more then a fucktoy since that is what she behaved like by cheating. Never speak again, she will be dead inside

>>683601550
if she's cheating she's probably won't care if he leaves because she can go be with her fuckbuddy.

>>683602225
this

she won't be able to know its you

>>683597113
You could just shave the dog in some weird way so she has to go have it groomed at a cost.

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>buy pic related
>open it up and replace song with "You's a Ho" by Ludacris
>place somewhere inconspicuous

When she comes home a fucking fish is going to scare the shit out of her and sing to her about how big of a ho she is while it flaps its tail.

>>683596603
how do you know it's not her father fucking with you?

take upper decker in toilet. on underside of lid just write "I know."

>>683596603
hide fish and shrimp and stuff in the house. Also shit all over the carpet so she won't get her deposit back, paint the walls or some shit.

>>683596940
SINISTER AS FUCK

put fish in the walls

oh wait, the house is already built

idk man shit in her cupboards?

>>683602709
Those aren't motion sensor you press button

>>683602539
well if grills cheat it means they're looking to branch swing. The idea of them not breaking up right away is so she'll have time to determine if the other branch is strong enough to carry her. Remove the first branch tho, and she'll lose her balance so to say. Now she won't have the option to go back to beta joe in case chad stops caring about her, she'll panic.

bitches always branch swing, I'm not even mad about it anymore. You wouldn't be mad at a dog for doing dog things either

>>683602682
Yeah shave swastikas into the dog

>>683597747
cus if he knew what she was doing, instead of fighting for his country and to keep he alive he would have killed the bitch and buried her in a riverbed

>>683602964
It will still scare her.

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>>683596603
Go buy a fish, put it out in the sun all day, then place it behind the air filter in the AC and then crank on the heat 24 hours before she gets home. She will never be be to get rid of the smell.

>>683598007
lol go enlist, bitch nigga

aint even OP

>>683596603
Go buy some liquid was, yes it's real. For added flavor buy some Texas liquid ass, smells like BBQ farts

>print dank memes on her printer
>wallpaper her house with them

>>683596603
burn it

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>>683603169
>BBQ farts
kek

put a whale in it

>>683602513
This is how you really fuck with a woman's head.
/thread

Have you ever heard of a botfly?

>>683597580
poke holes in dog with needles

>>683603940
holy fuck

do not do this

As a man who has had 2 tours, trust me when u say this, jody will always be there. Just move on, if she is broke, thats her problem not yours. And for the pup, keep him, if she cannot afford to keep her apartment, she doesnt deserve the pup.
Just my 2 cents

>>683596603
>hide Anne Frank in apartment
>tell local nazis
>???
>double rations

dont take out the trash and wait for maggots to infest, dont let doggo near them

Cut a slit in her mattress on the underside. Put a bunch of eggs in it, as close to spoiled as possible. They probably won't bust until she's fucking another guy on the mattress. A time release prank.

stack all her glasses and plates and shit into a huge castle

superglue her cupboards shut

fill bathtub, all of her shoes in bathtub

loosen the pipes under her sinks, behind your toilet, whatever you can get to so that they will leak slowly

magnet on hard drive

magnet to tv (does this fuck up lcd/led tvs or just crts?)

magnet to credit cards if she has any

empty a bottle of dye into her washing machine in one of the holes - she won't see it until after she runs a load

>>683602513
Do this but don't let her know you know she cheated. Also keep fucking her and making her fell worthless.

>>683599781
Kek

Put food in the vents. Shit like apples, eggs, even dog shit. It will stink, ventilate around her place, and be hard to find.

I have a good one:

kill the dog and when she comes home you feed her the rotten dog meat.

BUT the dog meat have to look nice like have romantic dinner wither feed her the dog meat and after she is done eating tell her that you know and say she just ate her dog.

btw when she asks u where the dog is just say a lie.

>>683596937
do this op, and steal her dog because bitches cant take care of dogs 100% of the time

>>683597338
wat a god. dont listen to the salty nerds and depressed kids here fam just fuck her apartment up and ditch her lol

Fill the pipe in the back of the toilet with cement, also lift any man holes in her garden and block off the outflow pipe. human shit will pour into her bathroom and garden. Pour vinegar all over her carpets and curtains and also put dog shit under any floorboards that can be lifted.

>>683606208
>bitches cant take care of dogs 100% of the time

lel this so hard

>>683605933
you're 12.

>>683597747
>young depressed virgin

leave an upperdecker in her toilet obviously.

>>683600853
risk giving a girl aids just for cheating? fuck that ur a psychopath rofl.