A girl loudly farted on my cock during anal once.

When i lost my virginity my step dad walked in . Kept going straight after he left

>>683127192
how is this embarassing

Share, faggot

I was in the car with a girl I really liked - was a virgin - she literally spent an hour trying to kiss me while naked - I dodged it cause I didn't know how to kiss. Then I got my dick out and couldn't get hard.

>>683127038
Share yours.

I have funny stories but not embarrassing. Willing to share.

>>683127383

he is obviously insecure and cannot into human body

>>683127383
well, for her.

i beat off wednesday after i got home from the gym

then a girl texted me to come over to her apt, she is gorgeous

i couldnt get hard for shit and when i did i came in about 20 seconds

she was drunk and doesnt remember that though

>>683127038
Was fucking someone in the ass once, drunk, came in 10 minutes, got embarrased, pretended to only stop because I felt bad that they had a boyfriend.

I was fucking a girl and wasn't really feeling anything. I pretended to cum - she asked if I did I said yes - then she asked where it was and I stuttered "I - I- I- d-don't know"

>>683127817
Heard this is more common that you'd think anon, men faking it. I did a few times back when I was on happy pills

Same. I used to get slapped because i couldnt cum . Sex was amazing though

>>683128236
I've done it with less attractive girls after I had a bad experience.

Second time sex with a new girl I had found. She was young and proud of herself but not particularly good at it. Couldn't cum and I had work in the morning so I just asked her to stop. She got so hurt we never met again.

>>683127421
OK op here. I have a few, this one is just that I blew my load too quick. It's happened before, always embarrassing.
Well anyway last night I fucked a girl from work for only the 2ND time. First time was alright, just in a super hot room and was sweating profusely. That was a few nights ago.

Last night:
>worked 8 hours with her
>stared at the booty all day working myself up
>wasn't expecting to get laid that night
>after work she suggests we get food
>end up back at her house
>made out and got teased for like an hour
>room mates were home and thin walls so she didn't want to wake them
>loud bed was the problem because she only likes hard rough sex
>we try with her on top for 2-3 minutes
>bed too loud so we have to go slow
>can tell she wants to Fuck harder
>move too the floor
>yes she's down
>put it in.feelsgood
>toogood.tooexcited.
>pull out. Pretend to be teasing her since she just teased me for an hour
>I like halfway came and started to lose my boner
>she helps me with her hand and boner achieved
>puts it back in
>instantly tingling. Dick wants to finish cumming
>barely going at all, she says "fuck me"
>instantly blow my load
> 0% satisfaction for her other than a good laugh

I was so embarrassed I didn't even know what to say. We had a good laugh about it luckily and she even started talking relationships afterwards and wants to date me. Maybe it wasn't so bad but I'm still embarrassed.

>>683127616
why the hell did you rape her if you knew you weren't going to enjoy it?

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>>683128934

Forgot to attach pic. She has some huge boobs and epic lips.

>>683128822
lol bitches get so upset when they can't make you cum

>>683129018
Go back to tumblr faggot

>>683129052
better pictures, asshole

>>683129153
>whiteknighting this hard

>>683129325
how the fuck is that white knighting?

>>683127038
About to have anal with gf
>started fingering her...
>then I felt somethin
>"prob its your imagination anon"
>keep fingering
>feel it again
>mfw no more sex that night

>>683129549
I didn't know you could get a girl pregnant that quick.

>>683129475
maybe you need to learn how to read, fuckwit.

>>683129792
kek´d
I was fingering her asshole

>>683127412
at least a human being was interested in you...

well to go, anon
sry though...

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>>683130244
>mfw poopbaby

>>683131014
poopbaby names suggestions?

>>683131370
little shitler.

>>683131560
little shitler it is, Ill call you for the baby shower

>left the bar really drunk with some guy I met a couple times, his side chick, and her 6/10 friend that wanted to fuck me
>got to their place and smoked a bowl and drank some wine
>first wine i ever tried that I liked so I went a little overboard
>guy and his girl went to their room
>me and homegirl on a tiny couch
>spinning at this point trying not to think about puking
>started fooling around with her to forget about the spins
>she was a bad kisser
>basically trying to eat my face
>went through my little routine
>bra off, played with the boobs for a minute
>pants off, tried to play with her pussy
>it wasn't like roast beef but it definitely had lips
>and they were kind of stuck together like moist skin does
>so I was fumbling around trying to find a way in and crickets were chirping and it was weird
>got a finger in, super wet but I could barely get hard
>went down on her because I enjoy doing that
>got the strangest blowjob
>she did the thing they do in porn where they deepthroat but then shake their head around
>I dont know, I was kind of into it
>put a condom on and had couch sex
>barely hard the whole time
>realized I was too drunk and high to cum
>tried to cum in her mouth
>couldn't
>said sorry and passed out
>woke up a couple hours later half drunk half horribly hungover
>sun was shining through the big ass window
>told her i had such a busy day ahead of me and I was so sorry but I had to leave
>didn't have shit to do that day just didn't want to deal with any of the awkward next morning stuff
>saw her the next weekend and she was all over me and had told her friend that I was a great lay

>>683130665
Yea... Was

A few weeks later she called me drunk - said her house was a mess , and that she had friends over and needed help cleaning it. I drove to hers , knocked on the door , she opened it stark naked and pulled me inside. Her two friends were both naked too. All 3 were 15. I would have been about 16.
I only liked her - but it was the other two who were "interested" - they were playing with each other and told me I could join in and could cum where ever I wanted. I was still shaken from the first experience of not getting it up - and only liked the one girl who wasn't coming onto me so hard. I cleaned the fucking house instead. Left without doing anything.

I regret it so much ... What a cuck bitch.

I was rawdogging my girl's asshole on her parents' coffee table in their shitty trailer and the fucking thing broke. Two of the legs snapped and gave out simultaneously and really slammed me hard into her and she fucking started crying. I apologized but she was pissed.

I was really down on my luck in the summer of '05 so I started getting with guys on craigslist to make some extra scratch. So I'm sucking some guy's hog and he's got a fucking rank smell. So bad that I fucking puked all over his cock and he kicked me out without paying. What an asshole.

>>683132284
he wanted you to suck off his hog? where do you draw the line, anon?

>>683127623
7 min is the USA national average from penetration to ejaculation.

>>683127623
>cums
>doesn't just keep plowing

wtf is wrong with you

I'm 6.5", but my gf at the time was 4'11", so to her I was "big". She had been asking to fuck, but I wanted to wait a bit (to make sure she wasn't a psycho who would use me taking her virginity against me) and when I finally decided it was time for us to fuck... it didn't fit. We spent 20 minutes trying to fit my penis inside of her and I only ever got 1-2 inches in. So I lost my virginity with just the tip.

On the plus side, I hear she's fucking her new BF so I know he has a smaller dick than I do

>>683133040
I usually run a good 15 mins.
Or whenever my wife cums. I always make sure she cums at least twice every time we fuck. That's the secret to a happy wife my friends

>>683133363
>doesn't know pussies stretch out over time

lol if she was a virgin, that's the only reason your dick didn't fit.

>>683131874
nah...
I would not regret refusing to fuck some drunk "bitches", I have no interest in
At least you are not dick driven in that sense

I would only be ashamed to have accepted to come and clean her house... I mean, wtf...

>>683133040
Oh I live in UK dunno what it is here but probs similar? I've been on happy pills most of my sexual life anon SSRI's mean it usually takes half an hour minimum for me, have had to fake it before

>>683133149
lol I need a smoke and a cup of tea before I can cum again anon, total beta here

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>>683127038
>Be decent looking 18 year old
>Meet really fine 18yo stripper through friends
>Get number, take her to bar
>Vodka vodka vodka etc..
>Bring her back to house, she's getting freaky as fuck
>Dick not working
>Feels bad bro

>>683133822
This was the only time this had ever happened to me, too. I try to stay away from vodka, or just take the booze easy if I'm trying to get some p00n

Was getting a nice bj from the gf (no gag reflex) and she ended up switching between mouth and jacking me off. Came faster than expected and it nailed me straight in the eye. It burned with acidity and both of us were crying from laughter.

I have a couple.
The first time I ever did anal, I was like, 15. I was fucking this guy who was 2 years older and had basically just lost my virginity and was up for pretty much anything with the dude because I thought I loved him.
Long story short I shat all over his dick. He came immediately. It was incredibly awkward and neither of us mentioned anything to the other ever again about it. We continued fucking until I was like... 18?
This guy convinced me to let him pee on me one time too. He got so hard over the fact I was gonna let him pee on me that he couldn't pee and then he got it in my eyes when he finally managed to do it.
Weird guy.
The first time me and my new boyfriend had sex he came in about 40 seconds. The second time he was hammering me really hard and farted and i pretended not to notice but sometimes I still laugh about it. He was trying so hard.
The sex is the best I've ever had tho, so no complaints.

> be 24 years old man now
> have been heavily bullied up to my 16th year of age
> have changed school at 16.5th year
> got in shape
> had hobbies
> became best in grammar-school class
> got collegues at class
> lastet during my 17-18th year of age
> lost everything through fucking illness
> became fat again
> struggled with illness and aftermath for years
> have overcome most
> trying to get my shit together again and try to regain what I had at the age of 17

> still a friendless, datless, kissless, virgen and overweight

>>683135195
what illness?

>>683135514
I do not want to talk about it

Did a lot of skype sexing with gf back home while in college (she really liked stripping when she knew my roommates were nearby) one time I was kinda curled up so I could see the screen and she could see my dick, and a surprise distance shot hit me in the face. She stopped to laugh for a solid 5 minutes.

>>683135727
you are on anonymous. quit being a pussy. no wonder you were bullied

>>683135727
>I do not want to talk about it
>posts greentext story not at all related to OP

fuck u fagget

>>683135727
I mean I won't make fun of you for a fucking illness.

>>683135967
>>683135989
maybe you are right...

but at least I am not bullied nowadays, just ignored

>>683127325
femanon?
hope your definition of losing your virginity isn't masturbation

>>683136360
get off my /b/

>>683129549
kekkin my fuckin ass off
10/10 anon
like putting your finger on a bowl of stew blindfolded and then you poke a spud

>>683136731
>get off my /b/
why?

this is the only place I have left for human interactions...

>>683135002
I have always been curious how to properly prepare for anal. Been useing a bulb douche but it never seems to get it really clean in there.

First time my wife saw my cock she said " oh my god that's so cute" then she tried to recover by saying that " guys with big cocks always try to gag her when she gives head but she could never gag on yours"

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>>683127038

This isn't terrible but it was a tad embarrassing, plus I mainly just felt bad.

>live in dorm
>nearing end of first year uni
>start a fling with this girl on my floor
>she's also a close friend
>we sleep together a couple times
>pretty awkward at first because we're both virgins
>one night get pretty drunk
>go to her room (her roomate is gone for the night)
>cuddling
>nothing else happens
>wake up next day
>she's across the room hanging out with her roommate who has returned and a couple other girls from the floor
>doesn't look at me
>doesn't say a word to me
>I say hey to everyone else
>they all respond
>go back to my room
>start texting the girl
>asking her what's wrong
>she's being weird
>"what happened last night?"
>"I don't know, you tell me"
>as a joke I say "what, did we sleep together? lol"
>mfw we did
>mfw I fell asleep mid fuck on top of her
>mfw she threw me off, turned on the lights, tried to wake me up but couldn't
>mfw I don't remember any of this

>>683137969
I mean, I just take a shit beforehand. It seems to do the job.

>>683135727
Not sure if bait or biggest attention seeker of this thread. Either way, a faggot.

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I fucked this for almost 2 years

>>683138689
the point is, that my most embarrassing sex story is my life since I can't get a pussy...
(inb4 get a hooker)

>>683127038
First time my wife ever saw my cock she said " oh my god that's so cute" then she tried to recover by saying that " guys always try to gag her when she gives head and she could never gag in mine"

>>683138883
I liked her