...This is where it becomes fucked up. Yesterday I get home from work. Hearing lots of weird bangs and stuff from around the house. Trying to ignore it be now its starting to genuinely
freak me out. Have a bunch of drinks, catch up on Game of Thrones. Go to bed. Im lying in bed. I didnt go to bed drunk. Mildly tipsy. Im lying on my side of the bed, alone.
Im half alseep and it feels like someone has got in beside me. Im a half alseep, confused. But I can feel the bed moving. As I start to turn over to see whats there
this loud as fuck eruption in laughing from that side of the bed. I cant see shit, its pitch black (ususlly there is some light leaking into the room) I shit myself and run into
the living room. Turn on all the lights. Iv sat here till about 7am. Couldnt call anyone was too early. All my shit is in the bedroom anyway, phone, laptop etc. So
at around 7 I plucked up the courage to go back into the room. The door is shut. I defenatly didnt shut the door, I just ran. I opened the door and the bed has been made
my my wardrobe doors have been opened. There was also a very strong smell of hot rubber. As Im surveying whats around me, the bedroom door slams INCREDIBLY loud behind me
So now, Im just sat in my bedroom wondering what the fuck to do now.

Decide to leave it a few minutes. Then I go back into the living room. All the doors have been closed. The television turned off.

Now Im just sat here. I can occasionally hear movement activity from that room. Called some friends who are gonna come over later to verify. But what the fuck do I do in the meantime??

>>683085816
Draw a fucking cross or some shit and yell 'THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU" easy shit it should get rid of satanic entity

>>683085905
Funny. Im sure that will do fuck all though.

Update: Heard a tiny bit of laughing coming from the room.

Sorry mate, you have gone schizoid. Seek help. Plenty of drugs to rebalance you.Just do it.

>>683086047
You really can't be scared of it, good read is the ghost puncher. The fucker literally beat the shit out of a ghost and asserted dominance. Tell your friends to bring a cross, and some holy water possibly. Don't show being scared just go all out alpha over it

>>683086424
Im not going to enlist the help of 'GOD' in this. Might aswell enlist the help of fucking Santa Claus

>>683086349
Not schizoid. Its all very real.

>>683086552
man up bro, you can with all of this

>>683086552
Okay, the demon is fucking santa claus as well, and your just a schizoid autismo faggot.

Get a vacuum cleaner and a flashlight.

Just be prepared. Oh, and arm yourself with some salt.

>>683086740
wtf??

>>683086552
The fear feeds it. Stop being scared of it.
You're like a four-course meal right now.
It may be paranormal, but the worat it's done so far is make a mess and make spooky noises.
Confront it.

video tape it. i wanna see

File: 1442530228113.jpg (225 KB, 1280x720) Image search: [Google]

225 KB, 1280x720

Yo why the shit are you not recording this? Seriosuly? wtf? If this ever happened to me! RECORD THAT SHIT!

>>683086841
Luigis mansion reference.

dude no lie whip your dick out like if I was a ghost and some dude whipped his dick out I would be like alright im done.

>>683085575
There are some very simple rituals common across many different traditions which can protect you. My suggestion is sprinkling ordinary table salt in each corner of the room to be protected. Salt is a purifying agent. Each day, sweep up the salt, throw it away, and replace it.

Something else you can try is an iron nail above each window and door. It has to be iron, not steel.

The truth of the matter is that it's all a matter of belief and Will. The ritual itself is simply how you give yourself permission to raise walls of protection. Remember these entities are not "out there," in the physical world; they're inside your head. The protection works through suggestion. As long as you believe in the protection, it will work.

fap in front of the ghost or supposed entity

there is a chance it will give you a ghost blowjob, not sure how that feels

Hey anon where do you live? I'd love to come and document the activity. I could also have someone cleanse your house

>>683086962
So basically your saying that it's fake and he has to induce rituals to prove to his own mind that it's fake

>>683086898
Iv downloaded a sleeptaking app on my phone. Phone is currently in the room recording everything.

>>683086424
I second this. Ghost puncher is quite a good read and shows that not having fear gives you power over the spoops. Also take your ghost stuff to /x/.

>>683087072
Aylesbury, UK. Come if you want. I dont give a shit. Its real. I got friends coming over later.

>>683087171

fuck yes! i love you. Please don't die before this happens! :D

How long till the calvary gets there?

File: 1462108276417.png (372 KB, 297x578) Image search: [Google]

372 KB, 297x578

>>683086948
Kek

>>683085575
Just take a camera, walk around the house and wait for something to happen. If this is too much to handle, I'd recommend you get help from someone to find what the fuck is happening. Also I'd recommend you don't sleep at your house tonight if this kind of shit keeps happening. Also take salt and eventually a weapon if it could be an intruder. I don't really believe in paranormal stuff but I'm interested. Good luck OP.

So wait, the retards with shit reactions to paranormal entities and shit isn't just in movies?

Like, assuming this shit isn't bait, you're saying that you're actually still in the house that you claim is haunted? Is that an American thing? To be on 4chan asking what to do when your house is supposedly being fucked by a demonic power?

>>683087171
Kickass nigga
Take pics maybe something spoopy will pop up

>>683087292
Please don't die. lel

>>683087292
Without a doubt it has DEFINATELY recorded the last 2 instances of laughing Iv heard in the last 30 minutes. Smell of rubber is creeping into this room now. What the fuck is that? Should I just leave and come back later? I dont want my house wrecked if I go!!

>>683087343
Pretty sure he English or Irish

>>683087343
>Is this an American thing
>OP is in UK

READ, NIGGA!

>>683087164
No. That's absolutely not what I'm saying. These entities are archetypes; they exist on the level of the Dreamtime, the level of symbol where reality is manufactured. If anything, they're *more* real than the physical because we have immediate experience of them, while the physical world is at one remove.

File: 1444882739177.jpg (981 KB, 1920x1080) Image search: [Google]

981 KB, 1920x1080

>>683087522

fuck that don't leave nigga. this is your house nigga! know one thing fuck this guy. if you die make sure you find this ghost in the after life to kick its ass too my nig.

>>683087522
Dude, don't leave your house. Stay in here, but open a window or anything in case you need to get the fuck out quickly, who knows. Keep listening and watching, you could maybe find a rational explaination to this mess if you stay and pay attention.

>>683087522
I doubt you staying or leaving will change it's mind on whether or not to fuck your house up

>>683087343
Im on here, killing time till my friends arrive. My phone is in my room. Not leaving without my phone and not going back in that room.

If I read this shit on 4chin I would assume bait. But i can assure you this is all happening. Iv got audio recording happening and soon other people to verfy my story. This has all come out of nowhere really, and up until the early hurs of this morning I didnt believe in this shit..

File: 1444506389376.jpg (2 MB, 3000x2000) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 3000x2000

>>683087693

this right here have an exit plan but stand that ground baby! FUCK i wish we had like a mumble for this shit or something oooooo discord?!

>>683087523
English

>>683087522
OP, I'm an esoteric mystic and a part-time tarot reader. The advice I gave you here >>683086962 is my professional opinion. At this point I have to assume you're just shitposting a poor attempt at creepypasta and wasting my time.

masterbate its a ki thing and genuinely fucks off "others"

>Go into the room
>grab the phone and the laptop
>upload the video
>webm it here
>???????????
>profit!

update: Can clearly hear walking upstairs about my head in the bathroom. Thats above the noise of the TV, so its pretty loud.

What the fuck will salt do!?!?

>>683087655
>chekd

>>683087895

Pics or it didn't fucking happen, bro.

File: 1446189270418.png (581 KB, 599x825) Image search: [Google]

581 KB, 599x825

>>683087895

throw that shit is their ghost ass eyes of course

fucking bump omg

>>683087895
Salt is said to keep bad spirits away. I don't really believe in this kind of shit but who knows.
Remember to stay near a window in case you need to get out quick. But don't leave until you think you really are in danger.

>>683087895
Say the following : u havin a giggle ere m8? I'll bash yer fookin head in swear on me mum

>>683087962
My phone is currently sat in aforementioned room collecting audio recording. So far, there has been nothing to see anyway..just hear.

>>683087895
Right. I'm done. Congratulations on making me waste my time. I hope your shitty play-acting actually attracts the attention of something nasty and pissed-off. You deserve it, OP. Esoteric mystic signing off.

>>683088127
Open porn and play it out loud

>>683085637
stopped read at
>defenatly
I'm pretty sure you're just retarded and are blacking out from sheer stupidity.

>>683088127

Go in there an grab it.

Picture? Video? Proof?

>>683088128
Whatever. Just telling you what I hear. Was supposed to read 'above' my head. Im currently sat directly below the bathroom. All doors down here are open so i can hear everything.

So, if this were real, the only move would be to call the cops. If your first thought was that someone was in the house, why would that not be the very first thing you do

>>683088127
Do a barrel roll!

if it's a female ghost, can you get nudes?

>>683088297
fucking /b

File: 1462495120177.jpg (50 KB, 637x818) Image search: [Google]

50 KB, 637x818

>>683087815
Not OP, and not buying OP's shit, but you are a gigantic faggot for thinking your (or anyone's) "professional opinion" on anything matters enough as to force the poster to accept your view as truth and discontinue seeking advice from the hive.

>>683085637
Tip get the fuck out normally burning smells means a demon persons i say get a stick of sage and salt or go down to your church and ask for an exersism i feel bad for you as you have to go through this but trust me that thing will fuck with you diminish your sanity make everyone think your insane and take you when your weak.

>>683088269
>in the bathroom
Shitting?

>>683087895
But you said that the tv was off

>>683088297
Top Kek!

>>683088214
Fuck it. I'm getting my phone and uploading whatever its recorded. brb.

>>683088127
Man, I don't even care if this is fake. This is quite entertaining actually.
Grab your balls and try going back to that fucking room, mate. I really want to hear that audio recording you're talking about. Open a window before you go in there, so you can get out really quick if you see something that makes you shit yourself. Take salt and eventually a knife. It could be an intruder.

Get naked and start masturbating while throwing salt in every corner and start yelling at the ghost.
Its like with spiders...theyre more afraid of us then we are from them

>>683088366
Wtf am i looking at?

>>683088366
Dubs of truth

>>683087053
Risky option, possibility of best outcome.

>>683088427
>I'm going to go jump around and laugh and make spooky noises and then come back and post them

Sounds good m8

>>683088427

R.I.P OP

>>683085575
nigga, you were robbed.

link to ghost puncher album:
http://imgur.com/a/P9PCl

File: 1444565169506.jpg (806 KB, 2975x1959) Image search: [Google]

806 KB, 2975x1959

>>683088269

i suggest doing this, its gonna be hard to pull off but i promise it'll be so weird it'll confuse the ghost.

Take all your clothes off, rub honey and olive oil all over your body that way if the ghost tries to grab you YOU SLICK MY NIG. Then just open the the door fast or kick that bitch in and have the largest SMILE on your face with eyes wide the fuck open and yell ITS JIHAD TIME! and then do the coitis dance while heading towards your phones and grab that bitch and run outside!

If this doesn't work at least you feel awesome because of the olive oil and honey :)

>>683088401
was off when I came back in. Iv since turned it back on. Its been on for about 4 hours now. I understand people not believing me, so i will just get the audio recording and people can make up their own minds...

>>683088486
Kek

>>683088446
Looks like an ear gauge

>>683085575
can we see the kettle OP?

Here's something scary...........I'm 42 and here!

>>683088540
Hold on sitting in bathroom how are you on 4chan

>>683085637
call the ghostbusters


just not the female ones. they suck.

>>683087053
A boojob

RIP OP. Hope you don't haunt any of us.

>>683088576
As long as you're not 50 and not a pedophile, you're fine being here.

>>683088665
Kek

>>683088665
almost satanic trips, would have made this thread worthwhile

File: 1460781142421.jpg (35 KB, 550x550) Image search: [Google]

35 KB, 550x550

>>683088665

File: 1461523522013.gif (2 MB, 174x182) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 174x182

>>683088446
Gauged earlobe that broke gradually and the bitch let it rot away until it is almost string. I have gauges and that's nasty.

Incidentally my bass player broke his earlobe in a similar manner.

>>683088665
>A boojob
you just created a fetish you sick fuck

>>683088665

not knowing this is OP's ghost trying to throw this thread off. Almost got us ghost good try.

>>683088427
Go on then

Nigger lives in the UK and hasn't called John Constantine yet.

The fuck is wrong with you m8?

FUCK YOU ALL. Where do you want me to upload this shit?

>>683088976
Pornhub

>>683088976
In yo ass

>>683088976
Here. lol.

You can also put it in dropbox or google/microsoft's cloud.

>>683086740
>>683086915
"Retarded reddit faggot trying to be funny"
There, fixed it for you.

>>683088976
xvideos.com

>>683088976

made a DISCORD for everyone to come up in this bitch to ghost bust some nigs.

https://discord.gg/0z4KULdYpxRpDZvd

>>683085575
>>683085637

Ok, I'll come at this from a different angle. It's possible you are hallucinating. You should take advantage of your free healthcare and get your ass to a hospital.

I wonder why ghosts only show up in movies and homes of 4chan-lurking retards...

>>683089200
Go search "Poltergeist activity" on YouTube. There's plenty of that kinda stuff.

>>683088976
Dropbox?
Dailymotion?
Soundcloud?
>>683089040
you dumbass
>>683089016
very funny fuckass
>>683089070
Very original buttluberhead ass nigga gonna pul the trigga on yo ass howle, : ; nigga abcdef u

>>683087164
You do realize that what you're saying is onthologically impossible, don't you?

I miss the days when this shit was entertaining/fun/scary. Yeah, now, because of life taking a shit on me. This is nothing. Nice story though, op.

>>683089099
OP? somebody verified this link?

>>683089307
Just upload it on dropbox

Ok, so people might not beleive me and i dont give too much of a shit about that. But how about i just upload the whole raw audio recording and you can decide for yourselves. Iv listened to it and you can clearly hear stuff on there.

>>683085575

Have you tried masturbating?

Put on some very questionable porn on, dim the lights and start jerking off while making very unsettling grunts.

>Look in the direction of whatever that thing was
>put on fedora
>lick your lips
>"This one's for you, m'lady."
>wink

>>683089394

its just a discord to have everyone not miss this link he posts

>>683089283
4chan-lurking retards, all of 'em.

>>683085575
Just put up signs that say "ghost free zone". Works great for guns in America.

>>683089447
get in the discord and play it there https://discord.gg/0z4KULdYpxRpDZvd

Tell the ghost you're voting for Trump. Ghost will be scared of you're massive stupidity.

Come on OP wheres the audio?... Fucking faggot

>>683089394
Not OP!

>>683089626
Iv uploaded to wetransfer but this piece of shit site wont let me post the fucking link!

Op take photos for proof

https : / / we . tl / M0d8JHIC8W

>>683089738
Upload it to dropbox.

>>683089825
HERE IS THE RECORDING!

>>683088797
You caught me. Now tell OP to get back in bed with me.

>>683089825
>https : / / we . tl / M0d8JHIC8W
this is some gay ass shit

>>683089845
This is the recording..>>683089825

File: download.jpg (9 KB, 300x168) Image search: [Google]

9 KB, 300x168

>>683087292
Cheers luv the cavalrys here

>>683089825
>https : / / we . tl / M0d8JHIC8W
fking homo

>>683089825
Fuck you. Fucking faggot

>>683089825
Holy shit, it's real

>>683089954
I dont understand?

>>683085575
Wait so you guys don't have free ghost removal? I thought all your stuff was free and glorious.

>>683089825
Wow its been a while
kek

>>683090165
It's just some retard moaning like a fucking seal or some shit

Op i hope your family dies

>>683090403
HOLD ON...I GOT MORE. THE FUCKING GHOST SPOKE TO ME!!?
https : / / we. tl / TYN422Ueyu

>>683090577
What the fuck do I do!?

>>683089116

>free healthcare

not in the great emancipated USA

File: OP.jpg (143 KB, 404x589) Image search: [Google]

143 KB, 404x589

Dinosaur / floorspaghetti interface achieved.

Way to fag it up on Faggot Boulevard OP.

>>683090577
>>683090622
>>683089825
>>683089738
prob not op

>>683089825
the ghost has humor...

>>683090577
OP you faggot!

>>683090577
i hate you so much...
also checked

>>683090690
Yup..afraid so. Stop believing in ghosts, faggot.

File: LAUGH.jpg (21 KB, 340x340) Image search: [Google]

21 KB, 340x340

>>683090822
>>683090763

I'm guessing that ghost really like jacking off to your GF and you fucked it up for him. Now all he sees is your crying and he want to kill you

>>683086424
>ghost puncher

This.. this isn't actually a book is it?

>>683091001
Yeah...umm...you're a little fucking late. Fag

shit, the ghost knows about memes, what if it's a 4chan member???????? it's between us????

OP I hope you have 2 beautiful children and they both get cancer and die your wife leaves you and then you hang your head at the end of a rope You autistic twat

>>683086740
This isn't fucking luigi's mansion

>>683091353
Maybe it's Manuel Neuer

>>683085575
cuck

OP play this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBFNEAT_HIQ

>>683085575
Congratulations on making the premise of about 16 bad b grade horror movies into a successful 4chan thread! Your T-shirt is in the mail.

>>683088486
This will either be legit, or flat out retarded and give me a great laugh

>>683091935
no

>>683091969
Ive managed to pull this off twice now. People always go for it. I always get someone who thinks they know the occult or some bullshit giving me 'ghost fighting' advice. Kek.

File: 1415373531050.jpg (3 KB, 125x110) Image search: [Google]

3 KB, 125x110

>>683088486

>>683092424
Supernatural genre will never die, everyone loves a good wtf? ;)

Have you taken into account that your GF might have made a copy of the key? And she might have a prankster who thinks you're a gigantic bunghole as a friend?
Check ventilation grids and everything else that could be screwed off, loose boards, toilet reservoir and floor grate in bathroom and sinks. (Last one is gold, they never think of it. You can waterproof shit..)

>>683093309
This is the audio recording I got of it. Definately not my GF
>>683089825

>>683090185
This

>>683085575
the demon feeds off your fear and you're making it stronger stop being a pussy and hang up a few crosses and watch the scary movie shit to mess with demon...

>>683085575
take this to the /x/ board they love this shit

>>683089825
holy fuck. I'm shaking. that's terrifying.

>>683088127
Just letting you know that this has something to do with your girlfriend.

>>683094201
Go fuck yourself

>>683088528
Now I remember why I stopped using 4chan...

>>683088269
You already said it turned the TV off.

>>683088623
this