whats the joke?

>>682918286
What was the joke?

>>682918336
OP is

>>682918286
the joke, tell us the joke!

>>682918286
>told me not to talk to her for 2 days
As in, she told you "Don't talk to me for precisely 2 days"? Because that's pretty weird.

Also, what's the joke?

>>682918286
You can't tease us like that and not deliver!

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Did someone say gf?

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TELL US THE FUCKING JOKE

>>682918336
>>682918361
>>682918405
>>682918436
I asked her "remember that time I satisfied you?"

>>682918286
She most likely has a side fuck and is getting fingerbanged on a couch right now.

WHAT WAS THE FUCKING JOKE YOU SACK OF SHIT

>>682918361
That I wanted to bang her grandmother.
Which is funny because she's dead.

>>682918580
kys

leave her (checkem)

>>682918580
Fuck off cunt!

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>>682918550
How is that a joke?

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>>682918336
>>682918361
>>682918405
>>682918436
>>682918467
>>682918507
Well, I said
>Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
And she was on her period so she got super pissed but she didnt say anything.

Yeh it was exactly 2 days for some reason

>>682918765
Faggot

>>682918700
It wasn't. I was completely serious. But you know when you say something and people don't agree and you play it off as a joke?

>>682918550
You really should kill yourself.

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>>682918765
I don't even know why she got so pissed off, she tells me she's hurt and bringing up bollocks I said like months ago saying "I'm hurt" and junk. What do /b/

You're getting cucked no question about it

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>>682918813
If only

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>>682918286

You must kill yourself OP you truly giant faggot.

>>682918765
>she was on her period
Just wait till she isn't you teenage tard. That's what they do.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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>>682919013
She's threatening to break up with me, what do?

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>>682918876
Go out with someone else who isn't emotionally retarded.
She's likely reacting to that because she's heard of this new thing called feminism and she thinks she's cool now.

She's probably hang out with her female friends talking about her new buzzfeed article on how to train her man and how it's doing even better than her how to cheat on your man barebacking African cocks, how one weird trick got me gangbanged.

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>>682918876

Bitch be fukken niggers behind y back OP you fag.
She just usin that shit so you don't notice how stretched her puss and taint be from all them big ol niggerdicks.

>tl;dr - kill urself faggot

>>682919219

KILL YOURSELF!!!

>>682919219
Do it first.

>>682918501
stop posting this bs

>>682919052
Two but the hard part is getting them in there.

>>682919219
Don't be a bitch. Play hard to get, talk to other women. She'll run right back to you.

>>682919219
She's literally weighing up her options. If she's considering breaking up with you then there's someone better. Or worse.
Actually being on her own is better than being with you.
In that case you're fucked m8.

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>>682919219

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>>682918876
You're fucking 15 years old, at most, you fucking Bong. Get the fuck outta here. You answered your own question; SHE'S ON HER PERIOD.

>you're 12 and what it this

>>682919264
>>682919280
She's indian you noodles, they hate Africans. Plus I live in Australa, so there's like 0 Africans or Blacks. But she is a feminist so I dunno. She is a spastic, I've tried breaking up with her two times but she keeps coming back saying shit like "I can't live without you"

>>682919321
Yeh okay man

>>682919369
She's pretty feisty at the moment, I dunno if I can yet.

>>682918286
dump her, if a gf did that to me i would write her off as history

>>682918876
kick her in the pussy.

>>682918765
I don't know about the period thing since i'm never angry when i'm on mine. I don't see why she got so pissed, it's not like it offended her personally. I think it's an ok joke though. Either she has period issues or is just really butthurt.

>>682919504
Indian!? What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you like licking her curry hole?

>>682918286
tell us the joke

tell her to fuck off and fuck other bitches

>>682919504
>I've tried breaking up with her two times but she keeps coming back
Get a restraining order you dumb son of a bitch.

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>>682919504

ditch the bitch you 12YOunderageb& she deffo gettin pounded by some other mofo with a bigger dick than your tiny tea-stirrer

>pic related: it's you

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>>682919446
Will do anon

>>682919466
Yeh probably, doesn't bother me she's fucking crazy.

>>682919469
Sure man

>>682919501
Fuck off you faggot, She's 19 but acts like a 12 year old.
>I am 7 and what is this

>>682919580
I would but then she'd get madder

>>682919597
She's pretty butthurt right now, she's bringing up shit like when I was joking around and said "You're probably changing your pictures for some other guy" and started laughing at her.

>>682919614
Indians are hot man

>>682919722
It's not worth it, is there any other way? That's a long process

>>682919679
Read the thread, faggot.

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>>682919614
Ye mate, I am her loo so when she needs to poo she poo in my mouth

>>682918336
>>682918361
>>682918405
>>682918467
>>682918507
>>682918542
OP here, was masturbating. This was the joke I told her. So a guy gets back from work to find his girlfriend packing her things. "What are you doing??". "I'm leaving you". "Why?". "Because you're a pedophile!" "..oowooohoooo, that's a big word for an 8 year-old" .

What do you call 10 niggers hanging in a barn?

>>682919800
> "You're probably changing your pictures for some other guy" and started laughing at her
Nigger what the fuck? Stop being so autistic.

>>682919894
Antique farming equipment.

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>>682919597
A lot of women are just absolute cunts and use their period as an excuse to be an asshole for a few days. Worst thing is we've became accepting of that. We just let it happen.

I have female friends and most of my exes were never really that bad on their period.

"Oh she's throwing coffee in people's faces and screaming at everyone who comes near her. Must be woman problems!"

What about just not being insufferable cunt?

You need to get with the true evolution of man and kick that money grubbin bitch to the curb. Why waste your money on her time after time when the tender juicy all beef patties of a double cheeseburger have the exact texture and feel of a real vagina. You could be king of the castle and eating like a champ whenever you wanted dude.

>>682918286
She's just underaged b&. She'll hopefully grow up soon enough. Brain's not fully developed yet

>>682919800
Well tell her to piss off and you don't want her anymore. If she keeps coming back and won't leave you alone that's stalking so yeah you'd habe no other choice.

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>>682919902
It was a joke, jesus fuck. Is it really that bad? We were lying down and after I said it she went ape shit at me.

>>682919950
I agree. I do that too except i don't throw coffee in people's faces. I can just cry or yell at people and still look like the victim because hey look i'm on my period so it's acceptable. I always thought every girl put on an act when they're on their period but it seems that isn't the case. Wouldn't you do that if you had the chance to? Who doesn't want to he an asshole and get away with it? Of course not that big of an asshole that can hurt people you love.

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>>682920069
She isn't underage, although she acts that way some times

>>682920087
I've tried, but then she plays the whole "I can't live without you thing" and tries to say shit like "How are you okay without me?

>>682920157
I'm tellin you man, you gotta give burger sex a try. The burger won't judge your jokes, only provide the best nutrients earth can offer and pleasure your cock better than any pocket pussy money can buy.

>>682920157
It's not bad if you make jokes like that with your friends, but most girlfriends wouldn't like that. Once my boyfriend made a joke like "hey maybe you should stop talking...forever" and laughed at me and i got really pissed off.

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>>682920579
How do I have sex with a burger?

>>682918286
Stop being a bitch and dump her for being an insufferable cunt

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>>682919800
>Indians are hot man

Like a Vindaloo

>>682920514
Then you're weak and can't get rid of her therefore all the shit you're going through, it's on you.

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>>682920638
Would it really hurt her that much? I thought it was pretty funny. How do I come back from it?

>>682919501
Can we please have a trump lookalike fuck the female ted cruz lookalike while a bernie lookalike watches and a hillary lookalike fondles trumps balls?

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>>682920704
She's half Australian so it's pretty good

>>682920749
Yeh I guess I'm weak, but what do I do?

>>682919853
>implying Indians use toilets.

>>682918765
>Yeh it was exactly 2 days for some reason

maybe to give her time to bleed out without having some beta faggot she was tricked into dating telling period jokes while on her period. Thats like talking to a muslim about how hungry you are during ramadan.

>>682920373
Nah. I'd rather have friends.

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>>682919876
I really wish it was this

>>682921016
Fuck off cunt, how was I supposed to know she was on her period?

>>682920785
I don't know, the jokes you made don't seem all that bad/offensive. I think she kinda overreacted. But does it matter? Don't you want her to leave you? If you want her to leave, keep making these jokes and step it up like the joke i mentioned earlier that my boyfriend did. If you want to keep her, apologize and tell her shit like "we can talk it out" or "i'm not gonna do that again i promise".

>>682918286
Stop being a cuck and fuck another woman. Make it clear to her that she means nothing to you. Your gf is obviously the kind of bimbo that is into that sort of drama.

>>682921027
>implying i don't have friends?

OP here, sorry for being late. The joke was:

"what's the difference between a table and a baby?

You can't fuck a table."

>>682921216
I dunno what to do right now, should I just leave her alone for 2 days then try something?

>>682921359
It was actually:
>What's the difference between a trailer of sand and a trailer of babies?
You can't pick up sand with a pitchfork

>>682920879
Well here are your options:
1. Don't do shit and live with it for now.
2. Work up the balls to dump her.
3. Make yourself unlikeable so she will leave you.
4. Move and cut off contact.
5. Restraining order.
6. Get someone else to do the dirty work for you.
7. Kill her if you can get away with it.

>>682921367
Just dump her you insufferable cunt. GTFO

>>682921367
Message her something like "hey i'm sorry if i offended you, tell me when you're ready to talk it out" and leave it up to her, you did your part. Or if you want to dump her "you get offended so easily i can't take it anymore".

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>>682921188
Well now you know that period jokes with women is like playing minesweeper

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>>682921509
Tried 1. How would I go with being so unlike able? Just keep telling heaps of jokes?

>>682921530
Settle down faggot

>>682921720
I'll do both

>>682921787
You're right, but it's even worse when she gets crazy emotional every time.

>>682918286
Fuck her best friend meanwhile.

>>682921979

Just get real distant and dump her softlike. Eventually she will get bored and move on. Bonus: if she wants to have sex during this process say yes, then resume not giving a fuck about her

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Just read thread.
If OP is legit, why do people put up with this shit from women?

They do these games because they know they can get away with it.

Like someone else said, she's weighing her options or has someone else lined up.

If a woman says, "Don't talk to me for two days" then don't contact her back! She's enjoying the control over you and expects you to call at 2 days and one minute. If you don't contact her, it'll make her wonder and then you'll see the real fireworks. She'll come after you, probably accusing you of seeing someone else. If she asks why you didn't call, be coy and say "I've just been thinking about things." If she texts, reply with the shortest, vaguest answers. Let her see what it feels like to be on the receiving side of the games.

>>682921979
How the fuck are you gonna do both? How's that gonna work out?

>>682922238
Yeh alright, so like respond to messages like 30 minutes later and stuff while ignoring her?

>>682921979
Do shit that pisses her off.

>>682921016
I don't talk to muslim goat fuckers at all, faggot

>>682922323
Send her the first part then the second part

>>682918286
>>682918286
You leave her. never let a women have power over you like that. "Don't talk to me for 2 days". If she can withhold basic communications from you like that, I'd hate to see what else she is controlling in your relationship.

>>682922269

>why do people put up with this shit from women?

vagina. I used to be in that mindset until I got laid.

>>682918286
Break up with her before she does.
It's the only solution that won't make you feel like shit.

>>682922347

Not the person you're replying to, but that is a start. Let her know that she's not the center of your world and that you have a life of your own.

I just went through this shit a couple years ago with a games-playing bitch - I'm sure I can give you some advice.

>>682922347

Maybe, but later on just stop responding. Gradually remove yourself from her (heh) bit by bit. Eventually stop asking her out or whatever you do that makes her like you. Also you can abort and start being nice again at any time

>>682922478
Why send her the first part then? It makes you look like you're unsure of your actions.

>>682922568
She doesn't really control me in anyway, sometimes she just gets pissed off, but she's never told me to go away for 2 days.

>>682918286
KILL HER

>>682922758
She's gonna grind on that other guys cock for exactly 2 days.
Break up asap!

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>>682922613
Yeh alright, thanks man. I'll start doing it, have any other advice?

>>682922629
Lmao, alright. So kinda like go from 30 minutes to an hour and so on? Yeh alright

>>682922635
I dunno, it'll be funny then she'll get mad again

>>682922758
Are you complying with her request? Are you not going to speak to her for 2 days?

>>682923035
I don't want to, but she's ignoring me so I guess?

>>682922758
Tbh if she texts you after two days then it's all good but if not she's a cunt.
You'll know what to do, dating this girl who says that kinda shit but continues to argue anyway, don't think of it as anything other than a childish strop

>>682923028
>>682923035

This would be a great way to start by the way. Definitely don't talk to that bitch, she is probably off fucking some dude by the way.

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>>682918286
I don't blame her. Your idea of a joke isn't even remotely funny. Maybe if you had an actual joke, she wouldn't be so pissed, you dumb cunt.

>>682923099

Then you are being manipulated, i'm afraid. Move on or explain to her that you wont tolerate this kind of behavior. All this is doing is letting her know what she can get away with because you will always be on the other end waiting.

What is not talking for 2 days really going to do? The underlying issue will always be there, you need to talk to her and work it out.

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>>682923147
She is very childish and emotional, if she doesn't text me I'm not gonna do anything

>>682923162
Yeah, I'm gonna ease out of it

>>682923322
I thought it was pretty funny in all honesty, you're just an uptight weeaboo

>>682923486
Be weary of her cheating for the next little while too, but otherwise let her sort herself out.
If she doesn't text just cut it off at day 4 or 5 and try to move on.

>>682922589

Enjoy being whipped then. People act like pussy is rarer than gold.

When you let a woman walk all over you, they lose respect for you. And then you'll be whining about "girls only like bad boys, hur" when it's really the confidence and the ability to not be a cuck they are attracted to.

Just fuck another girl, there are more than enough.
Don't let her do shit like that, most women are really stupid whores and you should leave them as soon as they start acting like this and get another one.

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>>682923661
How would I know if she isn't talking to me? Plus I have to study for my exams coming up at university so I can't really go out. But I will do that. Thanks man

>>682923035
>>682923162
I posted something similar when my boyfriend ignored me for 2 days and all of you defended him that it was no big deal but if it's a girl she's probably off fucking some dude? God i feel like i'm on tumblr.

>>682923322
Kill yourself beta cuck faggot

>>682923782
I wasn't saying I was whipped, idiot. I was just trying to give you a reason why people would act like that. Only weak tards fall for sluts that walk all over them. I'm aiming for the insecure cougars fresh outa divorce that are dick deprived. They treat you like a god, and are happy to spend their ex husband's money on their new dick. Fuck you, virgin. get laid

>>682924085
It's because girls are sluts.
Also tits or GTFO

>>682924058
If she's distant, gets more dressed up than usual, hides her phone, that kinda shit.
That's when you know its time to move on, get some revenge first though.

>>682924269
Aha, and men are rapists.
That's exactly what you sound like.
Plus i never said my gender.

>>682918286

Don't talk to her for 4 days even if she makes contact with you first.

On the fifth day if she demands to know why tell her she was in time-out because if she acts like a child you'll treat her like a child.

If she continues to be a stroppy cow and because of that doesn't want you speaking to her for X time period just tell her you think you should both start seeing other people then cut off all contact for a few days so she has time to cool off.

She sounds like a bitchy control freak and you're probably better off without her.

>>682921300
I mean having friends that don't feel they need to filter themselves around you because on the wrong day you might freak out and act like a psycho in the guise of "oops period lol"

>>682924085

Gonna reply because you quoted me.

I wasn't in that thread but I would have responded the same way. Fuck the games. People sort their issues out by talking, not by ignoring each other for days and hoping things blow over. I hope you spoke to your bf during that time,

>>682924394
It's obvious that you're a female or a troll coz you sound like a butthurt feminist.

>>682918286
for a joke?
she's a bitch

>>682923028

Some advice:
-Start weighing how much this girl really means to you. If your life revolves around her and you can't imagine living without her, stop that: that's
a sign of co-dependence.

-Imagine what your friends would say if you told them all the shit you go through with her (or, just look at how people are replying here). You're too close to the situation (and maybe blinded by pussy) to properly assess/ see warning signs. Take a step back and look at her actions as well as your own.

-Never be at her beck and call when she pulls this "I'm mad, don't talk to me" shit. That's a controlling tactic that women use to get you do beg them for attention. It is also a sign that they need their ego constantly stroked.

-Does she play the "I'm mad, and I'm not going to tell you because you should already know" game? If so, dump her ass, because that will never end. See above: that's another situation where she holds all the cards over you and wants you to cave to her ego.

-Do as I said: make her contact you next, not this contact after two days shit. Her giving a time limit is giving you a definitive leash (while see has two days to do whatever the fuck she wants...maybe even fuck someone else).

-When things end, go full No Contact. Focus on you. Do shit you like, try new things.

>>682920679

Buy it a drink and tell it you think it's the prettiest burger in the entire restaurant.

>>682924134
>I wasn't saying I was whipped, idiot.

I misunderstood you, then - my apologies.

I personally can't stand seeing guys being treated like this by women. I know, I was the type that you described once, too. I put up with all those games where you have to use a codex to try to decipher what they really mean.

After my divorce, when I was back in the dating scene, I dated a couple women who did shit like this - it's fucking childish and I have too much respect for myself to put up with their bullshit.

What I'm saying is that guys forget that there are so many women out there. There's is no reason to let a woman control you just because they let you fuck them from time to time.

Go do shit that needs to get done in your life. She'll talk to you when she's ready. Just don't give a fuck. Ignore her bs

>>682918550
Autism

>>682924691
Who's butthurt now? I'm not a feminist. Saying
Women are sluts = men are rapists

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>>682924390
Yeh, I dunno what to do though. She never really goes out that much.

>>682924703
I know right? It wasn't even that bad

>>682924706
she did mean a lot, but after the first time this happened I lost that feeling and I'm not dependent on her anymore.
Thanks man, I'll take all of this into consideration, I've got some mates who I've told about this so I'll get their opinions on it.

>>682925084
aren't burgers really hard to get with?

>>682925426
That's what I'm doing at the moment, thanks man

>>682924628
Pretty sure i said not to be that big of an asshole that might hurt others but ok.

>>682925544
>I'm not a feminist. Saying
>Women are sluts = men are rapists

It's obvious you're not a feminist, because what you said is true and is applied equally across both genders.

And I agree with what the other anon said: I wasn't in your thread either, but I would not have defended the dude, either. The games go both ways.

>>682924676
We didn't but we're all good now. It's not like i can't live 2 days without him or something.

This is one of those fucking love tests. She wants to see if you really love her by texting her within those 2 days. She'll expect an apology for the ride joke as well.

You probably did something else to set her off. It could have been a stupid comment you don't remember saying. Point is, the joke was a scapegoat for that.

The tricky thing is if you text her early, she'll have you by the balls. If you don't, she'll think you don't love her. I bet she's also one of those girls who says she "doesn't like to play games".

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>>682925544
That's two completely different things though. More woman are slut than men are rapists.

>>682925770
Fair enough. Maybe i spoke too soon but that's what i assumed since it's pretty much the same situation kinda.

>>682925671
Sorry to burst your bubble but lashing out and getting enjoyment out of playing the victim is kinda ass hole-ish.

>>682925812
No it isn't. A lot of women are sluts, but guess what? By that logic so are guys. It's kinda obvious. And while women can be rapists too, it's rarer than male rapists. Most rapists are men.

>>682925798
>This is one of those fucking love tests.

>I bet she's also one of those girls who says she "doesn't like to play games".

This guy fucking gets it. Bonus points if she has used the phrases "I'm not like most girls" or "I don't have many female friends, I prefer guy friends."

>>682926104
Yeah that was exactly the point. Don't act like you're so innocent. If you had a chance to be an ass and get away with it you'd take it.

>>682925544
>Women are sluts = men are rapists
That's feminist logic.
You're a feminazi, kill yourself.

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>>682918286
>"don't talk to me for two days"
>my gf said
>my gf

A man doesn't allow anyone to speak to him that way, or treat him like some street trash.

You are not a man, and that's why she does you this way. But don't worry.

Someone like me will come along and take her from you soon enough.

>>682920638
Why would that piss you off at all

So basically OP is posting every pic related as a fucking meme lord jack off or retarded shit that's not even funny whatsoever? Yeah okay
>underage b8/10

Re: jokes

Remember, the same material doesn't play to the same audiences. I had one girlfriend that loved rape jokes, for example.

If you're making the same type of jokes that you know offends the other person, you have to bear some of the responsibility of your actions.

That's not just to OP; I'm throwing that in as devil's advocate.

Do nothing. Just say "okay" and stop talking to her. Eventually she'll realize that she's an unreasonable cunt and apologize.

>>682918765
DUMP THAT CUNT NOW!!!!
no serioulsy why keep up with someone who gets butthurt over this with these proportions

but dont forget to hack her thumblr and change her gender from "insert imaginery bs here" to female
rustle the jimmies

>>682919504
You must not be in Perth Coz there is a shitload of niggers here now. Stop being a beta bitch and tell her that joke is funny so laugh or try and tell a better one.
If she is a feminist tell her that you don't want to contribute to the anti patriarchal discourse that actually suppresses women by purposely pretending to be scared to discuss a normal body function such as a period.

Want to see how much you mean to her, OP?

Stop giving her attention.

>>682927171
I did, she has said "It's okay" about 5 times and I've just ignored it

>>682927573
I'm ignoring her atm, I'll see how it goes. Nah, she has some positivity blog or some bollocks.