卍h†卐╠þ

hole*

>>682441145
you gotta work bitch.

>>682441145
get a bucket and dispose of it however you autistic retard

>>682441145
Eat more fiber.

1. flush one more time
2. hope

Grow a pair and shove your hand down

>>682441145
Scoop it up with your hands and deposit it into the bath, then squish those shit nuggets down that drainpipe.

>>682441145
Wait for it to go down a bit, use plunger to push it down until everything slowly disappears. It will take a while and flush once most is gone

>>682441263
ive flushed 5 times so far and i have to keep waiting for the water to go down cuz it will overflow

stick your hand in there and push the shit out

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>>682441145

I've been in this exact situation. I resolved to the fact that I would need to consume every last drop of that shitty water in order to hide the evidence. God speed, you brown hero.

>>682441145
use a stick to crush your atomic shit
flush

>>682441145
use the plastic part of the plunger to push the shit down the drain

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>>682441145
Write a note on a peice of TP and slide it under the door pic related

1. Scoop some out, do whatever with it
2. get a bucket, fill with water, pour
3. flush
4. pray

>>682441383
don't wait until it's down, if you flush now there will be more pressure

>>682441145
drag your gf in the bathroom by the hair of her head and shove her face in there. She's probably cheated on you and deserves it

use you gf's toothbrush to remove the shit

>>682441478
/thread and kek

>>682441657
then brush your teeth and post here

Forget the plunger, use the fucking brush.

This place really is full of 14 year olds

Stupid American toilets with their massive bowls and tiny throats.

Only one option now

Roll up your sleeves, turn on the shower and start hand shoveling it into the bathtub

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its only gone down like 2 inches. this shits gotta be backed up at headquarters

is she not home? or is she retarded for not realising you've been flushing 5 times

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i think you need to drink it man

>>682442089
haha 卍h†卐╠þ

>>682441145
100% fake

this happened to me and the last thing I thought of was making a thread on /b/

>>682442089
i gave her a warning about this dank shit and told her id figure it out

>>682441854
just wait for that shit to soak brah

>>682441145
drop some gasoline down there, light and watch it go down

>being this much of a pussy over shit
>oh no cant let her know this she will surely leave me!

grow up fuck up. all your risking is the shit overflowing which will be a big deal

>>682442263
been in this kinda situation before man. blocked my toilet in my room in college; didn't want the maintenance guys to know it happened because it's ensuite bathroom. ended up having to walk 5 minutes to the nearest communal one every time I needed a shit for about a week.

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>>682441145
Tip the plunger in at an angle to fill it with water, cover the hole and start compressions. It will work you cuck

>>682441145
>whole

114

>>682442256
>you didn't think exactly like I do
>it must be fake because I am the most important snowflake on this planet

That doesn't look like a 9/11 shit, just looks like you use a little too much toilet paper. That's why I wipe 12 times but flush 14.

Pour in petrol and a match

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gfs asleep rn. toilet is fucked. shit must be backed up at headquarters

>>682442629
after flushing it 5 times i assure you it was breaching on holocaust level

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>>682441145

>>682441145
i had this happened to me before.
i got it flushed by using the toiletbrush like a plunger and repeatedly moved it up and down sonicfast.
worked better than the actual plunger.

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>>682441854

With your bare hands take take the water and shit and drop it in the handwash

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i'm fuckin' cryin'

thank you /b/

>>682442969
Kick the pipe!! The vibrations will make it slide through in no time if you kick it hard enough...

holy fuck I needed a good laugh help me omg

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its not going down anymore! backed up so far down i cant do shit without a good enough plunger

Pour 5 gal of water in shitter

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Brewed coffee and you're still in there?? MISSION ABORT MISSION ABORT OP! YOU NOW MUST KILL YOURSELF AND TAKE ATTENTION AWAY FROM THE MISTAKE YOU MADE.

What's the big deal, if your gf can't handle a blocked toilet then she needs to grow up. These things happen op

>>682443487
Better go deep toilet fishing with your hand

Timestamp. And face or gtfo

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>>682443487
Hold the lever down half way, so fill more water into the bowl. The added water pressure will help push out the clog once you work it out. I know this sounds disgusting but you MIGHT have to stick your hand down the hole and pull out the clog brother... if you do... IF YOU DO... take a pic. :) Here's a redhead to keep your erection up.

>>682443487
well, then there is only one option left:
you take off your shirt, and go in for one hell of a brown ride!

Pour hot water and dish soap down it

>>682443739
why the fuck do you need a face added to this shit

I never laughed this hard since the holocaust

>>682443487
>good enough plunger
cover the lip of the plunger with vaseline for a better seal

>>682443848
he's a newfag. Set the plunger across the bowl for proof if you want to give that faggot something to prove.

>>682443848
I guess that fag wants to see who unleashed the brown beast

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>>682443739
no way to make timestamp other than this. no face you nark

>>682441145
Add water to the brim -> Plunge -> Add water ... repeat.

It is your only hope. Sooner or later the shit will get soft enough. And stop eating dorritos with cheat topping!

>>682441566
This guy gets it. I trust this guy.

>>682441854
imagine the smell

>>682444038
fan has been running since i got in here

>>682443993
I love your creativity OP. Even if she dumps you... you're based as fuck. Hell i'd even suck your dick.

Now reach in there and pull out that fucker.

Has she knocked on the door yet? Does she live alone?

>>682443993
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Just keep flushin flood the bathroom, then tell the gf it was the pipes or something that broke then just don't show her the insides and wait for plumber

Just leave it
Act surprised when she sees it
Deny it was you

That's not a plunger, dumbass. That's a toilet brush.

take a shopping bag and dive with ur hand

>>682444111
shes asleep rn

You can try and pour it into the bath tub.

Use something (folded tissue?) to make a seal where the plunger doesn't cover the hole. You may have to use your hand. Making that plunger work is still your best bet and I am wholly disappointed by your plunging skills.

>>682444233
Then you have time

>>682444111

check'd

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>>682444184

OP she's asleep run to store buy real plunger you fag. Or use her shit plunger until it goes down. Well there went getting your asshole licked for a few weeks.

What plugged it up? Toilet Paper or huge turd?

>>682443993
use the stick end faggot

>>682444233
show us the plunger

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>>682444200
i think you got it mixed up there pal

>>682444359
That won't work you fuck nut

Go barbarian style it'll work seriously stick your hand in there and do like a twist motion in the bottom if the bowl to try and force movement

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>>682443993
>>682444200
^This. Is it actually a plunger? Handle certainly doesn't look like one. You've gotta clean that fucker after this shit.

444444 get

>>682444375
plunge Harder!

>>682444375
Oh jesus the water... The stench. Is this a sneaky midnight shit cos you held it in so long you didn't wanna take a dump at your gf's place?

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>>682444375
Let this be a lesson to you OP....

When in doubt or the shit is 10/19, FLUSH before you wipe... so when you plug up that fucker it'll be a clean working environment.

>>682444357
just a bad toilet

>>682444184
This OP
Has worked multiple times in the past. I say go for it. You could even take it further, and claim it was her in her sleep.

>>682444375
Go to the store and get some draino along with a good plunger.

>>682441145
You hopeless cunt.

You're telling me, you've gotten this far in life not getting hit by a BUS while staring into space...

You use toilets daily..
and you have no idea how to fix one?

Time well spent, buster.

Go tell your goddamn girlfriend's parents you had an accident, you fucking 5 year old.

Does she has some pipe cleaner in the bathroom? Dude you must oke that turd till it breaks up. Hope you don't have any cuts on your fingers because you are gonna be elbow-deep in that sucker....

>>682442969
probably clogged in the pipes out of the house, just plunge it while flushing, it might go eventually.

tfw you keep making it worse

How is she even asleep still . Surely she could hear you

>>682443993
that pic should be one of the banners at top of screen.

sums up /b nicely

>>682444526
i actually got hit by a car last year and almost died

just wait, the water will eventually go away.

Takes a few hours. but whatever.

>>682444379
how do you know dip shit

JUST push the water down with the plunger, best you can get a rhythm going, if it's moving at all, you're doing SOMETHING. even if you're not making it go down.

>>682444375
that plunger is more then adequate to fix you turd probs.

Let it go down again. And do not flush again.
Get some sodium hydroxide to digest all the shit.
Should flush like a tit afterwards

OP keep trying the plunger. Angle it differently on the hole to try and get a bit more of a seal

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>>682444528
u got that one right m8

Drano. Or whatever brand of sodium hydroxide crystals Americans have.

>>682444706
be gentle, it's just about getting suction even if it's not full suction.

do tell the parents they probably need to replace the weeping tiles outside though.

>>682444651
You should have. Now reach your hand down there, and pray you find your solution.

>>682444375

Take the shower head off, stick the pipe down the toilet and turn on the shower

>>682444743
naw man, you'd need a snake fr that shit.

>>682444743
This. Put whatever chemicals you can find in there!

>>682444685
I kek'd at us fighting anon. Haha

>>682444814
Voting for this. Every. Single. Chemical.

Hotwater and salt. It actually does work despite sounding retarded.

>>682441145
Drink toilet water from bowl if I roll dubs

>>682444486
I'm not even gonna lie to you, whenever I shit in forsaken or new territory, I always flush before I sit down... So I know what I'm going to be facing after the damage has been dealt.

>>682444375

Take a photo of the whole bathroom, need to know what we're working with here.

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Position plunger to cover from backside lip to into the hole, if this doesnt work try flipping inside out and retrying,
if that doesnt work you can attempt to put as much water into the bowl as can fit without spilling while plunging and give it another go.
The pressure helps.

>>682444784
i just think op is not trying hard enough

>>682444866
shut the fuck up, tell me how homo

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>>682444814
if trips put all the chemicals in it.

>>682444886
If possible mix vinigar and some bi carb soda in the water and it will help out almost as good as draino I tried this once and it works quite well.

>take towel rack off wall
>jam towel rack down toilet
>after problem fix, wash towel rack in tub
>use sink to clean tub

>>682444813
Yeah probably. But I reckon he might find some useful chemicals around. Good luck finding a drain snake in someone else's house.

throw some firecrackers in toilet
it should do the trick

>>682441324
This is the only good advice. It's gross as fuck but works.

>>682444959
Hot water salt and metal coat hanger?

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the only thing she has in here is a fucking bar of soap

>>682443128
What this is shit?

Open window leave it open either scoop it out blame homeless man for doing it

>>682445031
This will make toilet explode.

Don't do it OP

>Wait until morning until you've got bags under your eyes like Alan Rickman
>Let girlfriend enter the bathroom and turn on the lights
>Stir the mix of shit and agony
>You are the Half-Poop Prince

>>682444743
I vote for this as well. Go to wherever cleaning supplies are stored and grab them all.

Put windex, bleach, ect all down the toilet.

She most likely wont notice her cleaning supplies almost all gone. She will notice toilet clogged with shit.

>>682445062
Just water and salt. For real, I had the same problem about week ago

>>682445071
in it goes!

>>682445071

Drop it into the toilet anon, trust me, I'm a plumber

Open window, throw shit on car, blame seagulls

>>682445077
Well that's a naked woman playing with shit. How do you 4shits and not never seen this before

>>682444886
>Man found dead in his friends house after he mixed industrial grade cleaning supplies to unblock the toilet after he dumped a 9/11 holocaust shit.

>>682445124
He's lying shut up faggot it's a well know substitute for drain cleaner learn your science faggot.

>>682445071
Use your hands to plunge the shit down the pipe. It's gross but it works, I've done it countless times.

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>>682445187

This

>>682441145
Fill a bucket with water then you flush the toilet while the toilet is flushing pour bucket of water in the toilet it should go away

>>682445071
BULLSHIT, go find the bleach, windex, and whatever other cleaning supplies she has.

That or this this thread is just you screwing around and the toilet can be unclogged with the plunger.

>>682445171
This

>>682445215
A fitting death for a /b/tard

>>682445033
Nah man, you need little cat z's VOOM to shift a stain like that

>>682445071
Cheap ass soap, cheap ass accessories in there. I hope she either lives alone or she's hot as fuck. Either way you need to tell her parents they need to redo the caulking on everything. look at all those cracks everywhere!

get out of the fucking bathroom. Go downstairs, get something chemical. whatever it may be.
Quickly go back to the bathroom.
Profit.

>>682445126
AHAHAHAH

>>682445263
Oh yeah... Bleach. You're one dumb motherfucker.

>>682445227
No OP

Who do you trust more?

Me who is nice or him who says mean hurtful words?

The truth is clear

>>682445071
Well you could at least light that candle to help with the smell.

YOU WILL HAVE TO REACH DOWN INTO THE BOWL AND ACTUALLY TAKE THE SHIT OUT BY HAND

>>682445245
This actually will work. It can take a while some times tho

>>682445369

>>682445048
this !

>>682445369

put the candle in the toilet, it's literally the only way

Take it out and push it down the shower drain with your feet.

>>682441145
Reach in and push it...at least you can wash your arm clean afterwards and it's only your own shit...cry baby

>>682445071
>put bar of soap into toilet
>flush
>???
profit!

LISTEN OP
You need to sit your ass down on the toilet & flush, this way you will create pressure and the shit will flush down. You need to cover the whole toilet with your fat ass tho.

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Empty the majority of the fluid with a cup and pour it into the sink/bath, then use the cup/jug to pour fresh water into the toilet.

Solved

Source: Professional Cleaner

>>682445134
Don't do this OP, it makes mustard gas.

If trips put face in bowl and post picture

>>682445360
I wont believe you

>>682445360
Trust me I'm a scientist

Play some light piano music, find two girls and give them one cup...profit

>>682445215
HHAHHAHA LOST HARD

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>>682445071
Have you realised yet you've been in that bathroom for almost an hour? It's already too suspicious, I guarantee you she's woke up.

>>682442969
use bleach, it will kill the smell and break up the toilet paper

Just go buy a new plunger while she's asleep you dunce.

>>682445445
>with your feet
WHAT ARE WE, ANIMALS !
uses your hands op

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OP Is not a fag. In fact this is the most entertaining thread i've seen on /b/ in the past few days.

>>682444974
This is a great idea and will be using it from now on, thank you anon

>>682445487
Nooooooooo

I am a broken husk of a man

>>682445071
Dude go to a night shop and get some chemical destop! If you have Soda crystals in the kitchen you can also dump them in.

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STEP 1: Squirt generous amounts of dish soap or shampoo into the clogged toilet. ...
STEP 2: Add a gallon of very hot (but not boiling) water to the bowl.
STEP 3: Wait a few minutes and watch — the water should break up the toilet paper, and the soap should help it slide down the pipe.

Google is your best friend OP

>>682441145
Let her deal with it

>>682445486
rolling for great justice

>>682445470
You want him to dip his balls into this cold shitty soup, don't you?

>>682445473
This.
CAPTCHA: Select all images with rivers.

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oh no

>>682442256
I've never been one to think of telling /b/ in panic mode but when my gf told me she was preggers that was literally the first thing I did.

>>682445586
Also add some pop rocks and coke for good measure.

Someone screencap this. My fucking sides.

>>682445613
few years*

Does your gf live alone?

>>682445579
>"honey are you alright in there?"
>"y-yeah everything's fine..."
>"are you taking a bath?"
>"k-kinda..."

>>682445653
>Add a gallon of very hot (but not boiling) water to the bowl.
Where and how the fuck OP gonna get a fuckin' GALLON of "Very Hot" water into the toilet bowl from?

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>>682445706

Send her back a picture of your dick in the soap dish

Q

>>682445706
>name
>picture
>phone number
>awkward situation
>on /b/

you fucked up son, you fucked up

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>>682445706

>>682445763
POP ROCKS, fuck man why didnt i think of this, OP DO IT

>>682445706
fucking TSFKAK if thats your picture she is breaking up with you after this bro

>>682445667
the relationship is over if that happens

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>this thread

If you truly want to unclog that cess pool of depression. Allahu ackbar it fam. only way out.

>>682445706
if she asks to come into the bathroom, tell her TITS OR GTFO

>>682445706
You just gave /b/ your gf's number..

>>682445870
Well, You've given us no choice. Let's do our thing, /b/

>>682445832
Called a kettle you pelican, just don't boil it all the way.

>>682445706

quickly, turn the shower on and say you're taking a shower, it'll buy you 15 more minutes

>>682445870
Please don't fuck OP's life up he's doing a great job at entertaining us.

>>682445706
KEK its been an hour???

>>682445706
TOP TSFKAK
卍h†卐╠þ

>>682445922
its ruse, he just personal army requested baited us

OP thinks he is clever

Maybe as a woman I can help?


You find some sort of cup bucket anything. For real like fuck her listerine bottle or something and empty that shit out. Use makeshift cup to pour toilet water into the bathtub/shower drain until it is down a considerable amount then use plunger . Or just do same thing then when almost all the water has been poured down the bathtub/shower drain throw sum fuckin toilet paper on it and close lid and walk away & be like "didn't notice" or if you try hard enough you can blame it on her. But for reals I'm DYING hahaha you're so fucked tho. Because no chick is worth you surrendering your dignity!

P.s. No shower to throw into drain, window?

>>682445832
>Where and how the fuck OP gonna get a fuckin' GALLON of "Very Hot" water into the toilet bowl from?
From the kitchen... His gf is in bed going to sleep.

>>682445946
Oh so you expect OP to exit the bathroom or just steam the water over the floor vents? you fuckin' Tucan.

I would really like to know what this fuckwit looks like.

Inb4 everyone is too much of a pussiboi to call the number.

>>682445998
But it is..

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>>682445706
my sides

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i give up

thanks everyone. ill let her deal with it tho

>>682445998
You just fucked up

>>682446004
Tits or gtfo

>>682445998
holy shit...

>>682445706
Hahahaaha did not expect OP to look like that. But guessing hes the type of fuckboy to be in this situation I'm not surprised.

>>682445998
MDOS MDOS MODS MOS

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god bless this post

>>682445998
fuck off dude

>>682446058
>i'll let her deal with it tho
Oh come on you absolute cock

>>682446058
Bro hold up... That's not even the same fucking bathroom as the bar of soap

If you wanna see if you plugged up very far down then run the sink for a bit. The drainpipes will connect not too far from each other. If you managed to plug main septic then you have truly left a 9/11 shit.

>>682446058
she'll never marry you now

>>682445832
Found the third world citizen.

>>682445706
Meteos?

Mentos and Diet Coke in the bowl now it'l help dissolve the poop and clean the drain.

Use a towel, tshirt, boxers or any cloth to wrap around your hand. Then give that bowl a good fisting. That will be better than your shitty plunger.

At least dump that air wick into your see of failure to make it smell nice....And maybe she won't b that angry if you shit fountain has a nice minty-green color.

Why you poo is not go down you may put hand palm in a row and push push. Made Suction and whoosh! One chain is lift and water flow to sub sewer. Easy, OP. You understance?

>>682441145
Put a single slice of toilet paper on top to cover it.
Then take another picture.

>>682441145
For starters learn to use the correct form of hole. Second off get a bucket of water and dump it in the toilet, or learn how to use a plunger.

>>682441566
Dubs speaks the truth anon, do it and post pics of your shitty success. Just dont let your gf ask why you flushed the toilet 6 times and why it smells like shit has been sitting out for 5 minutes.

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>>682441145
you should watch this video!! IT will help you! (it won't)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6pSV_WHuzc

>this is self Promotion faggotry
>I do feel ashamed

I guarantee she'll fix with the same fucking plunger

>>682445870
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha YOU DUN GOOFED NOW TOILET BOY

>>682445878
then it's a pretty shitty relationship

OP YOU FUCKED UP ONLY BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY TO GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY AND REMOVE SHIT NUGGETS FROM BOWL BEFORE TELLING HER THE TRUTH SO YOU TWO COULD HAVE FIND A SUITED SOLUTION LIKE RESPONSIBLE ADULTS

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>>682446331
>One chain is lift

What?

>>682446384
Fuck off. Every thread with this shit.

>>682441145
it's gonna sound like a joke but it worked for me more than once:

here the tutorial i found once, it's in french but it doesn't matter just watch.

you'll need a mop, some plastic bags and duck tape.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xesipj_comment-deboucher-ses-toilettes-en_lifestyle

you're welcome

It's just going all to shit now

Has anybody sent his grilledfriend a text?

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if she has one of those toilet brushes jam that shit down there and unclog it

>>682441549
7/10 laughed

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>>682445171

>>682446058
I was in this situation b4 m8, I went in with a bucket and a plastic cup, I just poured from toilet to bucket all the water and shit, after halfn'our the toilet was clean and moist and I have escaped punishment