Hey /b/ Im going fucking nuts today. I drunkenly told my gf (yes I have a real live gf) that she needs to lose weight (terrible idea) then i called her by my ex's name...yeah that went great so in the midst of me ruining my life i dropped my phone in the toilet and now it doesnt work. so before i lose my mind can we please get a GOD tier YLYL thread please it would really help me out. DONT LET ME DOWN /b/
Fuck off. Stay off the booze and maybe you wouldn't have these problems.
>>682121613
You done fucked up OP I'll do my best but I'm on mobile so it'll prolly be shit
>>682121613
> fucks up with own retarded decisions
> demands teh funnies from others instead of fixing shit
Here's a joke for your YLYL thread; it's called your life.
You're on a roll, keep it up and tell us what happens
>>682122062
excdee
I want to see the source of this
>I accidentally told my girlfriend the truth and now she's mad at me
>How do I save this incredibly worthwhile relationship
>>682122266
Check em
>>682121991
OP btfo
>>682121613
Go fuck yourself
>>682122276
I have no source anon I saved it from /b/ I do know that it is tj though as he mentioned "there was that time with the banana" in a dp and seemed like hr thought it was buried
>>682122583
Thank you kind anon I've been hoping the gif form of this would pop up
>I was only 9 years old
>I loved the cancer banana so much, I had all the .jpgs and .webms
>I eat so many bananas every night before bed, thanking them for the life I've been given
>"Cancer is love" I say; "Cancer is life"
>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for the banana
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
>I'm crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and it's really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It's the cancer banana
>I am so happy
>He whispers into my ear "I really really like this image."
>He grabs me with his powerful banana hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I'm ready
>I spread my ass-cheeks for the cancer banana
>He penetrates my butt-hole
>It hurts so much but I do it for the dank memes
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please the banana
>He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his potassium
>The radiation gives me anus cancer
>My dad walks in
>The banana looks him straight in the eyes and says "It's all yours my friend."
>The banana leaves through my window
>Cancer is love. Cancer is life.
lol
You called your girlfriend by your ex's name and your phone doesn't work
What would the first world problems girl say?
Accidently called my g/f a dirty whire whom I'm marrying in 20 days last night after I learned she's had drunken threesomes twice before with her past boyfreind and another random guy. Let's just say I was emotionally locked up for a bit and I still don't know how to feel.
>>682121613
Here I think this wonderful video will help you with your troubles... (it won't)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UosCnRe6ATQ
>this is self promotion faggotry
>I do feel ashamed
>I gotta start somewhere
>>682122805
I really really really like this image
>>682123109
Me too! Save it, it's all yours my friend :)
OP here. currently my gf won't talk to me. i went to throw away all my liquor and realized i drank it all. I'm pretty fucked to say the least. I just needed a good laugh before i try anything. thinking of sending flowers what think anon's?
>>682123222
Send her a banana instead
>>682123222
You sir, are a world class fag
This makes me laugh every time.
Hope things turn around for you, OP.
>>682123222
>>682122563
It is real, he has admitted it.
>>682123222
Make amends and never repeat the same behavior. Quit drinking. And go take life by the balls. The flowers aren't going to help much for her, she want to see what have to say not give. Tell her you were wrong
>>682123222
>>682123222
Ya send flowers.
Btw I think the trips will give you luck.
>>682122062
Is that actually him? Rofl
>>682123322
double dubs nice. dis is OP. She actually hates bananas. made her banana bread one time and told her it was zucchini bread (they pretty much taste the same) then she found out it was banana bread and started screaming and crying. if there is an award for "Worlds worst boyfriend whose actually trying to be a good one" I'M def the winner
>>682122229
Fucking lost
>>682123222
If it was me OP I'd say "look I'm sorry I fucked up I was drunk I wasn't thinking straight forgive me" and then if she forgives you all good if not say "fuck you I don't need you if you cant forgive me for a minor thing like this you'll end up dragging me down anyway I mean /insert gf name here/ it's not like I fucked your mom"
Or if you don't wanna get beat just remind her of any times she's been a cunt and made you forgive n forget it because she's got a Pussy
>>682124032
i like you OP and i feel bad for you so let me comfort you by telling you how i fucked up last year. i soberly told my girlfriend that i had spied on our roommate getting changed, several times. she never would have found out; i was never caught. but guilt got the best of me and i confessed. she dumped and i spent months dealing with depression. we were together almost 6 years and i'm still fucked up about it.
i really hope shit works out for you man, my relationship didn't work out but i'm growing a lot and also learned to keep my fucking mouth shut too. with any luck your woman will be more forgiving or patient than mine was
>>682122805
I HAD A HORRIBLE DAY TODAY AND I USUALLY COME FROM WORK AND MAKE A YLYL THREAD AND THEN WHENEVER I SEE THIS BANANA I JUST WALK UP TO MY WIFE AND BEAT HER INFRONT OF THE CHILDREN, U AND THAT BANANA ARE THE REASON WHY MY LIFE IS IN SUCH A SHIT STATE, U TELL MY WIFE U ARE THE REASON FOR THE PAIN I BRING HER, YOU ARE THE REASON YOU SON OF A BITCH YOU AND THAT FUCKING BANANA GOD FUCKING FUCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>682121613
I don't understand your problem other than dropping the phone.
She is the female she needs to do what the male tells her.
I told my bitch to lose weight. She cried. I kekd
She did what she was told. Took her lazy ass awhile tho
>>682124507
there are so many edges in this post i'm going to need a whole box of band-aids
OP Here Well i just sent her a longgggggggg message on the facebooks about how much i love her blah blah blah you know all the sappy shit that girls go fucking crazy about. Told her i got rid of all the booze( which technically i did) and I am awaiting a response. fb says she saw it so its only a matter of time before she responds. btw fuck off banana man
>>682125067
Thanks for joining us tonight Bill
Banana whispered into ylyl's ear "I'm going to tie you up and fuck you"
"Gasp!" Thought ylyl "he's going to tie me up and fuck me"
Ylyl breathed heavily as the smell of sweat and potassium was strong
Banana duck taped ylyl's hands and his pussy was as wet as the time he had spilled mtn dew
Banana stuck his hard cock in ylyl
Ylyl let out a moan, muffled by the cotton balls shoved in his mouth Banana had made his niggers pick the cotton a day before
"I really, really like your cock" said ylyl, now farting uncontrollably "Thanks for joining us tonight," panted banana in response
>>682124706
Good to see the night shift covered.
>>682124507
>>682125441
where are you? it's 12pm here
>>682125567
Who would of thought the desu poster is Aussie.
Its 2am here.
I've been working on some pasta, haven't done much derailing today.
Juggled 5 atheist never-ending shitposts threads for like three hours. Pissed off the op. He kept trying to get me to sage, so he could make a new thread.
>>682126197
your dedication is inspiring. i mostly just stick to ylyl threads but sometimes i like to fuck up loli threads if i have room in my schedule
>>682124582
Dis nigga speak truth.
Bitch needs to get back in kitchen
I tell my girlfriend to lose weight all the time. I even offer to help by teaching her martial arts. I want to work her fat ass up to butterfly or at least tornado kicks. She's too chubby and inflexible for the positions I got used to with my last, who left me after going to the Olympics. She hooked up with some Israeli gymnast. I was never "observant" enough for her folks anyway. So I picked up a 19 year old shiksa after morning my loss. This was 6 years ago. She's put on like 50 pounds and still can't do the splits. But since I took her virginity on the first date I feel obligated to see it through unless she cheats. Always tell myself I can fix her physically. But she just keeps getting bigger the longer she's in college. Changed majors twice. Says she has no time for working out. Met the last one through my sparing partner. He went to the Olympics as well. I didn't get past regional invitationals. I lost one point for control and then the fucker ran around the ring to avoid me for the last 2 minutes. God damn flag system. So what if my foot landed on top of his chest on the follow through? You're not supposed to go down that easy. I blame the blood on the floor.
>>682126522
what the fuck? did you really censor the word "black"?
>>682126640
Not OC
>>682121613
you deserved this garbage thread, OP
Alright, I'm done
>>682126347
You should branch out to social engineering threads. Where OPs goal is to force an opion. The tin hats have been outing them every so often.
Their easy to spot, their made consistently.
Or you can try to force normie porn to its appropriate board. Hard to do without a couple of /b/ros though.
>>682127033
sometimes it just seems like there's more cancer than chemo. how do you keep your chin up?
>mfw this thread
>>682123222
buying shit doesn't do anything. That's like taking medicine for a broken bone. You need to make amends and show it through actions. Like, not drinking anymore
>>682124738
lost
>>682127304
I'm the one posting inspiration pasta.
I've see an increase in derailers from when I started.
Talked to a new one, hes clearing bbc and u jelly white boi threads. But not just that, he's doxxing the posters Advertising.
Fucking worst ylyl thread, goddamm banana man
Well this thread is shit now thanks alot banana ya fucking cunt. ya done goofed boy. anyways this is OP again, i do deserve this cancer thread but on the bright side my gf is communicating and telling me everything i'm doing wrong. i will win her over I just know it. She's coming back around. She said "I love you anon but you seriously need to stop drinking" there is hope /b/ thanks for giving me cancer though i really really really really hate that banana
>>682128282
>>682128532
Thanks, Lori
OP is a liar
>>682122062
...well then. Why would he film this? Why would he smear shit everywhere? This must be why people on YouTube were saying banana a shit ton a couple weeks/months ago
>>682124507
some truth here
>>682121613
Lost to this
>>682122583
Glorious Gustave De Kerven.
Also, lost
>>682122229
Lost when it said he didn't even have work that day
>>682128923
He was webcamming for an online girlfriend who was just a troll basically.
>>682122229
Kek hell yea
>>682125866
my sanity, its vanishing
>>682129734
shut up
>>682123384
You could also end it 'No she was a nigger'
>>682123042
start by not being cancer
>>682126932
first I felt bad for the dog, but this is amazing.
>>682125866
Why wouldn't she just use her laser on the door?
Did they add the mirrors in solely to be retarded?
>>682126249
>Lilian Seacow
She's destined to be fat.
>>682131856
But it's Saekow
Pronounced "Say-koh"
How many of you autistic fucks have to push any buttons you see??
>>682121991
>>682132402
Lilian's fat little brother detected
>>682127304
>>682127765
Both of you should fucking kys