I fap to gay porn but I would never see myself with a guy like that. I admit I'm not 100% straight but those gays really know how to pound a hole. In straight porn they don't fuck like that and it just seems so fake. Most of the girls don't even smile and you can tell they are their just to get it over with and collect some money

>>682092048
My most deep and horrible secret, one that i never told anyone is that you're a Faggot!

>>682092456
it's been common knowledge for a long time

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>>682093511

>>682092048
I have no secrets. I am an open book.

I have a WD-40 fetish.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiMtlfHTGRE#t=634.938208

>>682093511
^ >im this faggot
I browse /b/

Ive convinced 3 past girlfriends to have sex with a dog

>>682093902
Why lie? How many friends did you make by telling that lie?

>>682094013
Haha Im not lying.

>>682093902
Nice pasta, saw this earlier today

I enjoy spanking girls and boys.

>>682094400
I'm the OP

>be me
>know a girl on a chat
>she continuously answers phone
>she's a hot-line xxx operator
>skypevideo with her
>she answers fuckin' guys while skyping me
>I make her smile commenting the fuckin' guys chitchatfap
>those fuckfuckin' guys, either underaged or over 45, who don't know how to get porn on the internet
>she earns fuckin' 10 bucks every 150 minutes of phonecalls (ten bucks!) out of free room and board
>she is quite good, manages to get up to 1500-1700 minutes per month (100-110 bucks)
>she would like to get a job, but is inexperienced and is scared by the boss, and has no family

>she invites me in the house where she lived
>an apartment with two rooms for hot-lining and other rooms for sleeping
>as we start making out, boss comes in
>boss angry with her because believed she was using her room for prostitution without giving him his share!
>while he shouts at her that she was the only one to answer calls, I devise a White Knight Plan
>later, contact nuns to get a temporary place for her
>contact friends to get a healthcare job or cooking job
>3 days later, at 6:30am, I get to the apartment with uncle's truck
>before 7am fill the truck with all of her stuff and escape
>at 7:15 am I had her delete all online accounts, and threw away her cellphone SIM
>at 7:30am the boss comes in and notices her room empty - his "WTF-WTF-WTF" was heard up to the Moon

>she shed some 2 liters of tears
>had her first decent lunch in two years (she was 300 lbs and diabetes)
>got a decent job, a decent wage, a decent life
>and she wanted to engage the White Knight

TL;DR: White Knight married a 300 lbs womyn

last winter I found a unicorn in the backyard, it was grazing on the snow so I cut it's throat then tied it's body up in the basement, I fed it snow every day but it didn't have much appetite. Later on in the week, a small gnome woman showed up looking for her pet unicorn. I told her I know where it is and have been feeding it. She followed me to the basement where I tied her up and fucked her in the pussy. She told me it was the best surprise she ever had, then she repaired the unicorns head and they both went off together into the night. I never saw them again, she was really tight. I miss her

I wish my best friend wasn't my friend at all.

my mom's car tried to finger me in the back of my mom's back.

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>>682092048
I have a small dick and i'm too anxious to pee with other people in the same bathroom

kinda want to kill myself

had a 12 year old gf when i was 21.

it was alright.

when I masturbate to girls pics that I know, they behave strange around me and become interested in me. It doesn't matter which girl, just any girl I know. I can fap to their picture and imagine it really detailed, then suddenly they just want me.I worry this has something to do with incubus or voodoo, some kind of psychic rape.

>>682092048
I cheated on my fiancee with a Thai co-worker and I don't feel guilty about because the sex was so good

>>682095139
don't feel guilty, there's no such thing as cheating anyways. it's an imaginary thing like cooties.

>>682095250
and everyone being of equal value

>>682095250
Kek. I'll be sure to use that if my fiancee ever finds out.

my gf is bi and i secretly want her to sext some girl or atleast play with a girl but she doesnt wana do anythingg.

>>682095499
Mine is bi, wants to fool around with a girl but it's so fucking hard to find someone. Might as well pay some stupid young whore to come do it.

>>682095499
how do you know if she wants to or not?

My secret is i see this same thread shitposted daily and its cancerous shit.

>>682095655
she always talks about it but never does shit. i even asked and still nothing. before me her and 2 other friends had 3somes and would all eat each other out. now she doesnt wana do anything.

I'm usingn a 14yo who I make suck off her horse. I blackmail her and literally own her. I'm convincing my gf to have her live as a slave at our house

>smothered my elderly father in his sleep
>cheated on my bf over a dozen times with friends, strangers off grindr/craigslist/adultbookstores
>Tell people im bi even though I have no interest in adult women
>want to rape kids
>have molested so many kids from age 15-20
>like to feel up my older brother while he sleeps
>like to feel up any dude sleeping in my house

>>682095565
It's not that hard. You and your girl go out to a bar, make friends with a few people then at the end of the ask if they want to carry on the party at ur place. Once there have a few drinks put some music on and get ur girl to get up and start dancing around the other woman and boom, one thing leads to another.

I like anchovies on pizza

>>682095974
get the fuck out

>>682095974
You fucking lunatic. You need to be put away for a very long time

>>682094826

last winter he found a unicorn in the backyard, and sticked it up his ass.

later he died of internal hemorragya

I have nudes of my wife with fake /b/ download filenames that I post in "pics you have saved" threads and ask if other anons have saved to see how they respond and if they have saved her.

I like it when /b/ admires my wife; but my wife doesn't know I do this

>>682095938
Life's not a movie you know.

I just lost 4$ (bitcoin) at gambling and im really sad right now

I like to wear diapers

>>682096210
Thats gay

>>682096210
how does it make you feel?

sometimes it burns when i pee.

I want someone to roleplay as a hot babe and tuck me in tonight.

>>682092048
Left my caving buddy down a cave while he's stuck in a tight hole and couldn't get out. He never got out. His family is still looking for him, He stole my wife from me so I guess he deserved it. Fuck him

>>682096157
Well the fact that in the past 3 weeks I've been involved in 2 situations where a 4some was on offer proves its not all that difficult if they really want it to happen

>>682096519
lol wut

>>682096399
*goodnight hunny* as i pull your blanket over you, going all the way up to your chin. my big chest resting on yours as i kiss your forehead. your view of my clevage is perfect. i shut the lights off and walk out the room, making my way to my room is a bed full of 3 niggers waiting to gangbang me.

>>682096546
Depends on location & country. That won't ever fly here.

>>682096570
He died in a cramped hole 100 meters down a cave in the dark.

>>682096644
atleast they wont have to burry him.

>>682096582
can I get a pic with that, maybe in a bikini?

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>>682096519
Jesus christ

>>682096519
this is not how the buddy system works .

They think I'm lying and I'm not. I have proof. Gonna be great.

>>682095012
I had long distance relationships with two minors, and when things were over with the first, the second came up. I was 19, they were 11 and 12 respectively.

>>682096618
When enough alcohol is involved anything goes. alot of woman can be convinced to go along with it if they've had enough to drink

I used my moms dildo a few times

>>682096930
>long distance relationships

might as well just fap.

I raped her
I murdered her
I killed her children

>>682095250
I guess you'll acknowledge cheating exists the day you get cucked.

>>682096949
Yeah, that's not the culture here. Like I said, that won't fly here. I bet you're from the US or UK.

>>682097000
Nice, checked

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>>682096780

I've got the abilitie to predict if something good or something bad will happen.

>>682096930
Well played.

>>682097000
The children too? Why?

>>682095902
I want to meet you.

>>682097099
But it's part of the experience

When i was younger i used to pee and jerk off into my dads shampoo bottle

>>682096131
Cuckold detected.

>>682097041
Correct. UK. Alot of woman here are easy to manipulate after a night out.
Where are you from anon?

>>682097303
Belgium. Really isn't that far, but the mentality is so different.

I think I'm secretly responsible for my family breaking up, as a kid I used to instigate fights between my parents and steal money from my Dad and blame it on my little brother,I was also a mean little shit, I'm alright now tho

>>682096519
Well done, anon. That bastard deserved it.

>>682097000
Who is she?

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Ask cuckold anything

Pic related

>>682097395
>blame it on my little brother
How did he get punished?

I want to fuck my sister and cum inside her

I cheated on my ex-gf with a trap I met online and she found the text convos and I told her it was a female, she believed me.

Was still in deep shit but at least it was better than getting caught with a dude in makeup and panties.

I eat my own cum quite often...
gf doesnt know...

>>682096682
Proof or it didn't happen.
Bout to do sum dope, there's my secret

>>682092048
im going to eventually ruffie and rape my girlfriend of 10 years 13 year old lil sister once she gets a lil older.

>9 years old
>old man lived few doors down
>suck his dick
>he buy me pokemon cards

>>682097545
Pics?

>>682096644
Also proof or it didn't happen here

>>682096780
>>682097099
no pic then?

>>682097596
I hear it actually gives a glow to your skin

>>682097619

i read your story in a shota thread. cant remember if he fucked you or not...

did he?

I'm 28 and am planning on becoming a wizard.

>>682097485
my dad was disabled so there was nothing really he could do, but if he caught you he would press you up against the door and beat the shit out of you IF he caught you tho, otherwise just a lot of shouting and attempts at making you feel worthless

>>682097619
I bet you always thought of him when you played the TCG, you faggot. From then on, your life wasn't the same.

>>682092048
I really want to fuck my older sister

>>682097157
You'd never believe it was me. I'm very lowkey.

>>682097707
That wasnt me, im not a pedophile queer

>>682097718
Fucking why wud u want this?

>>682097718
Two more years! I'm 24, so 6 more for me.

>>682097691
what "glow" are you talking about?

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I am in love with my best friend
i don't have anybody to talk to
i know boring secret
i'm a girl
my best friend is... some stupid fucking asshole, one of you
he isnt my best friend anymore
it's my fault
i hate myself.

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I'm a straight male who enjoys regularly listening to Marina and the Diamonds

>>682094941
dont think like that, At least you have a cock..... you could have been born a woman. Now then I'd understand.

I recently made the decision to pour hot sauce into my sisters fleshlight. It was hilarious at first, but hearing her whimper in pain that night made me reevaluate my life. I wish I never did it.

>>682097379
I can understand that. Drinking culture in the UK means that Its quite easy to find yourself in a situation like you and your partner are wanting.
But I also believe that it has alot to do with the company you find yourself with regardless of what country you're from

>>682097718
>>682097840
Seriously guys I'm curious, y do this intentionally

>>682097865
I cant explain it. You know when someone says "look at you your glowing" cause thier skin looks really nice or something? I think. And isnt semen a natural steroid?

My entire life I've said that I was bi, and totally believed it, but now at 20 I think I might be straight.

>>682097932
sounds hot

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>>682097888
Remember the rules.

>>682097797
Come on, I'd still know it's you.

myspacebarisbroken

>>682097797
i will kill you

>>682098100
icreievrytiem

>>682097996
Because ive let my body go to shit the last 5 years from all the drinking, drugs and eating shitty food all the time. No girl wants that inside her.

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>>682097932
> sister's fleshlight.

>>682097997
I dont know... I just eat it because its amazingly sexy to me...
Do you do it too?

>>682097951
Nah, the kind of company you can get in the UK is seriously different than what's available here.
>>682097932
>sister
>fleshlight

>>682098169
l mao

>>682097996
It's not intentional for me. I only had one chance to lose my virginity, and I passed it.

Got diagnosed with a terminal case of peyronie's disease. I can't bare to tell my wife and kids.

>>682098151
Idonthaveenoughmoneyforanewkeyboard

>>682098008
you and 90 fucking percent of the rest of "bi" people

>>682098195
Sometimes when im really really horny ill want to but as soon as i blow my load i dont want to anymore and i feel disgusted and ashamed for even attempting it

>>682097736
Lucky for your brother. Shame you never heard anything interesting go down.

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>>682098100

>>682098328
Idkmanireallylikeitinmyass,butilovevagina

>>682098264
Whats that anon?

Heyguysimdoingittoo

>>682094960
i cant read that fucking site anon what the fuck is it talking about

>>682098393
>>682098290
>>682098151
>>682098100

>>682098399
a meme disease

>>682097996
I'm just not physically attractive to most people, although I'm not fat.

When I was 16 I was in a car accident, I ran off the rad doing 80 mph and hit a tree. I somehow survived and everyone in my family thinks it's a miracle that I survived. None of them know I did it on purpose just trying to end it.

Fucked my wifes little sister - wife sleep in the room next to us...

Still bad feelings...

>>682098621
nathan?

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One time i put 3 raw eggs in my asshole, pooped them out individually. Then cracked them open and ate them

>>682098329
when you overcome it than you get used to it...
its great and no more wierd feelings...

>>682098656
hows the sister feel about it

>>682098621
You were spared so you could tell us your story.

>>682098656
How old?

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>>682095718

>>682098621
That's actually a really good way to make your suicide look accidental. Thanks anon

I accidentally raped my ex girlfriends dad on a camping holiday

>>682098738
6 years old

>>682098765
c u in hell

>>682098804
wat

Im secretly gay for grandpas

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>>682098804

bro...

>>682096833
kek

>>682098804
Better than the wife?

I fucked a 13 year old I met on Tinder when I was 17.

>>682098679
No I'm not nathan.

>>682098738
Really boring story.

>>682098765
I wouldn't suggest it. The pain I was in while the cops/medics were coming was unbearable. If you survive you'll wish you never did.

>>682097809

you fucking queer. you sucked his cock for pokemon cards and call other people queers?

fuck off homo.

>>682098338

I held hands with a girl once

>>682098159
Ur talkin to a junkie here, u can still get laid; fuckin drug sluts. Also weight isn't permanent, u can lose it
Which drugs?

>>682099060
Its not gay if its for pokemon cards

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>>682099024
>when I was 17

>>682092048
I am suicidal, and I refuse to say anything to anyone for fear that they might stop me.

>>682099060
>you sucked his cock for pokemon cards
He was a good boy. Don't lay into him.

girlfriend and I decided to try Anal once. I had no idea she had diarrhea. We were both drunk. woke up next morning to puddles of shit everywhere.The place stank to hell. Parents came down stairs and couldn't believe it. Told them it was the dog. Dog was put down later that day. Girlfriend and I never did anal again.

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I'm a straight male who listens to Sam Smith and Ed Sheeran.

>>682099106
Im not fat, i actually cant even get really fat cause i have a high metabolism. Just startes getting a bit of a gut and body looks gross now and the acne on my back is so horrible ita fucking disgusting. I used to do alot of M and blow but i quit, now i just drink. Like alot, basically an alcoholic now

>>682099301
>dog put down because it shit somewhere
wut

>>682099394
When your legs don't work like they use to before....

>>682098245
/b/ro u cud do it, it just may require effort

>>682099394
why dont u just listen to future and young thug like everyone else

>>682099448
And I can't sweep you off of your feet...

>>682095902
So are the goods rekt, or is it just not worth asking for nudes?

>>682099024
I fucked a 14 year old when I was 35 off Tinder.

10/10 was fun

>>682099529
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love

>>682093735

I bet you live a .... squeaky clean .... life!!

>.........mfw I gave up stand up comedy years ago

Occasionally i shave off all my pubes and sprinkle them on my sister while shes sleeping

>>682094941

i have a large dick and only pee in the stall. when people ask why, i say (ironically smiling) "it's cause i have a small dick and am ashamed of it". shuts them up.

>>682099106
Oh yeah and it also doesnt help thay i have less than average size penis

>>682099024
Makes me wonder how many other men she fucked before you.

>>682099570
Will your eyes still smile from you cheeks?

>>682097913
Same. Except it's not a secret.

>>682095902

This makes me hard as diamonds

>>682096399
anyone?

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>>682097913
nice dude me too those albums are the shit.

>>682096519

The fuck?

Bros before hos you sad wretched pile of human skin

>>682092048
A girl I know just revealed that she was raped, and described it in detail.

I couldn't help but find it really hot.

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>>682099134
You're like one of those guys who go get fucked in the ass every week to check they're not gay.

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>>682099503
>why dont u just listen to future and young thug like everyone else
>Future
>Young Thug
You have to be a African-American male with no taste in rap who lives in the hood.

>Listen to NF, fam. He's fucking god-tier.

>>682092048
I got rid of my fiancee whom I stopped loving because she got fat and lazy and put on an attitude by moving to an island far away and cutting contact,
Everybody thinks she was the one who broke up and she got all the hate because I am a good guy lel,

>>682099553
did this happen around 2008?

>>682099713
I like you anon. Your a good guy.

>>682098729
Bad as i do

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All i listen to is music like this

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>>682095902
>20 year old kids.

>>682098329
I even find sexy when somebody else is doing it...

I've cheated on my girlfriend multiple times. Mostly with prostitutes and women I've met on craigslist.
I really miss one of them, who was a young single mom who'd let me fuck her in public places.

We're in a LDR

>>682092376
that's no secret, everybody knows that you are an out and out flaming faggot

>>682099474
I have someone who loves me now, but she wishes to marry me before I put it in her.

Woke up one night after hearing some weird gently banging noises. Walked down the hallway to see my sister and gf going at it with each other. I snuck back into my room undetected and spent the whole night crying. I couldn't believe my eyes.

>>682098738
To young... Way to young...

>>682099553
Win.

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>>682099973
Thanks, anon. I try my hardest to get the respect of others.
>I only ever get respect on 4Chan

>>682092048
i never had a job, an i am 20

>>682099403
Work out, shower daily and use acne scrubs, I used think I didn't deserve I girl cuz of drug use but that's bullshit
Fuck pay someone the 1st to me so ur not nervous, check out backpage; friend worked there

>>682098804
15 you little dipship

>>682100162
dont trip homie. you'll get work eventually

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>>682098966
kek'd and checked

>>682099691
I do too but trust me girls don't give a fuck if u no how to work that pussy; get really good at head or just last like an hour that always shuts em up

I have a very big Youtube channel where I'm known as a conservative, christian metalhead who is a music teacher.

I'm actually an atheist, and the channel is an experiment to see how far can I manipulate conservatives of my country before the lie comes crashing down.

>>682099920
but...then people wont think i won a grammy

My disabled sister lives with me and we fuck constantly while my wife is at work. It's gotten to the point that I fuck her more then my wife...sometimes I do them both in the same day. My wife has no idea and it's the greatest set up ever.

>>682100199
But its not even the looks though i have alot of mental illnesses and im just really socially awkward in general, not very good at keeping conversations going, let alone with girls

>>682100368
Disabled how?

>>682100162
I'm 24, graduated with a math degree, still unemployed.

>>682100440
Epilepsy

>>682094941
If you lived in Ancient Greek every woman would have wanted to sleep with you

>>682098693
pics or it didn't happen

>>682100361
That's religion in a nutshell.

>>682100361
Pewdiepie is this you?

>>682100162
Its ok anon, i didnt get my first job until i was 19, im 22 now

>>682095135
Guess who will try this out now

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>>682100367
You should actually try to win a Grammy. Make your own rap album or whatever and you'll (maybe) win it if you're good enough.

>odd advice, I know but as a guy whose dream job is to be a professional rapper, it's honestly one of the most fun things to do

>>682100052
Congrats tho I believe in a test drive b4 u buy

>>682099677
I have a regular to large dick and I peen in the stall, people are creeps

>>682100361
i think i actually know who this is

>>682100477
lol that it?

>walk into sisters room
>flicker light
>fuck her while she's spazzing
>finish
>shes none the wiser

>>682100585
Thanks, anon. I agree, and that's exactly what I plan.

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>>682100521
It started mostly because of conservatism, and not so much because of religion. But I started receving TOO MANY religious followers too fast, and the lie got too big before I could tell the truth.

Now I'm stuck having to support it and making enemies left and right so my life doesn't get destroyed.

>>682100522
>metalhead
>music teacher
>pewdiepie

Dude wat.

>>682096519
Yeah, that didn't happen. You just saw that .webm of a bloke stuck in a cave and some stupid anon said he died. You're full of shit mate

>>682100379
/b/ro were having a conversation now, just talk to her electronically till ur comfortable
Also if ur not getting treated for said illness then ur letting u hold urself back
Meet bitches on tinder or Craigslist so ull start talking to them electronically

>>682099868

did you know that actually girls have the strongest uncontrollable orgasms during rape

>>682100695
She's got other things too but that's what she gets the SSI for...to be honest besides the sex this situation is totally cash. She does all the cleaning, most of the cooking, and pays me on the first of each month as part of her rent. I even got a disabled parking hanger so we can park anywhere.

>>682100790
The church is there to brainwash the masses, which is pretty much the same thing you're doing.

>>682094803
god bless you.

>>682100790
Please tell us you channel.
>inb4 MrBlackDarkness666

>>682100846
living the dream bro

>>682100003
youtube link?

>>682100830
Source?

>>682100693
If you do, and if you try to reveal this on the comments, nothing will happen. My followers are INCREDIBLY dull on the critical-thinking field. I could say the biggest bullshit and they'd still believe it.

>>682099853
You fucking homosexual faggot if you were in the same situation as me, you would have done the same.

>be me
>be 23 years old
>wife is pregnant with daughter
>come home one day to see caving buddy fucking her in the sofa
>kick her out
>divorce
>fast forward 3 years later, made up with them
>caving buddy is now happily wedded with my ex wife
>see daughter calling caving buddy "daddy"
>heart breaks
>2-3 weeks later caving buddy asks me to go exploring
>turns out he didnt tell anyone where he was going
>no one knows he went out with me
>go to a cave far away from home
>probably a two hour drive away from the nearest town
>exploring and stuff with him
>get a good distance from the entrance of the cave
>see a small opening that leads to a larger opening near a water hole in the cave
>caving buddy thinks that if he could squeeze through, there might be a chance that the other part might be unexplored
>squeezes in head first
>top part of the opening pins his back, couldnt move his arms
>he could wriggle his way out or through
>asks me for help
>couldnt hear him at first because the upper part of him was stuck in the opening
>leave without saying a word
>caving buddy probably died in the dark panicking and screaming and stuck in a cramped opening with no hope of escape


Haven't gone back since, fuck him and fuck your "bros before hoes" rule. Fucking underage teen, kill yourself

>>682100734
Yea u don't wanna marry then find out ur not sexually compatible; only has to be once
U engaged? If so way to do it /b/ro

>>682100965
Hey it's the best of a shitty situation...ain't no income like guaranteed income. I didn't want her to come and move in with me but everything went better the expected.

>>682100947
No.

Also, I have no idea what channel is this.

>>682100695
>shes none the wiser
She's probably also dead.

>>682101017
couldn't*

File: DForEffort.jpg (89 KB, 1920x1080) Image search: [Google]

89 KB, 1920x1080

>>682100820

>>682101045
How old is she? same age as you near enough?

>>682092376
I kinda agree, gay porn can be hot as shit. so much more passion and perversion, straight porn is another day at the office as usual

>>682093902

Easy when all 3 were dogs

>>682101017
Amen, anon. Well played.

>>682101129
We have a 5 year diffrence so were relatively close...both over 20

I'm loaded as fuck.
My friends and family don't know, but i have a patent which i licensed to 3 companies. Earns me 3/4 of a million euro's each year. And the contracts all last 18 more years.
Everyone thinks i am just a simple successful freelance software developer.

I have plans on what to do with my money, but then i would obviously have to tell everyone i'm loaded. I'm worried i will lose friends because of this. Or that people will envy me. They already envy me to this day...

I'm worried about meeting a girl, because i fear she will want me for my money.

>>682101017
Tucking respect, niggas savage over here but I wuda done it.
Unrelated question: u ever seen the descent?

>>682101026
I fully agree with you. Yes, I'm engaged.

>>682101182
Nice to see you're making the best of it. Good luck to you. I'd be doing the same if I was ever in a situation like that. Maybe not the fucking part though but who knows.

>>682101004
try google you mongoloid

>>682101178
Actually they weren't.
First 2 were 6.5/7
Last one was an easy 9

>>682101257
Never

>>682101229
I always thought if I had a ton of money this would be a problem