One time I tripped getting orange juice.

>>681758555
This is the only time ill ever get trips

Why don't you have insurance?

>>681758413

wow that knife is gay AF...

no wonder they have that policy. if you say gays arent allowed they never suspect a thing......

>>681758702
Wait, I tripped and got trips.... Oh shit

>>681758844
Oh shit...

>>681758739
i do have insurance, i think ended up paying like 30 dollars when i was there, I dont know how much the insurance will cover when I get the bill tho.

>>681758413
That's what you get for your offensively tacky pocket knife cover. Try red or black instead pf some stupid Norman Rockwell fucking painting.

>>681758555
Wait so if I trip do I get trips?

>>681759089
I think so, try it and post results.

I once dislocated my now ex gf's shoulder...

>>681758978
>>681758791

Yeah, its a pocket knife you get from becoming an eagle scout, its tacky but it has a bottle cap opener on it, so theres that.

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Did this last year. Probably needed a stitch but hate going to ER, I'm an Aussie too so it would have been nearly free.. I just hate being there. Healed up fine but it wouldn't stop bleeding even while bandaged and gauzed for days

>>681759392
I never got a knife, just got my ID

>>681758413
>boy scouts knife

not prepared for cut, the ped-troop lead would be disappoint anon....also, post gf so we can see how much you fucked up

>>681758950
Checked and wrecked

>>681759462
If you went to the emergency room it would have been completely free.
I was putting fuel in my ride on lawn mower and it ignited. I set fire to my hand. Ambulance to the ER. Shit load of ketamine for the pain, skin graft and 3 return trips to the burns unit and all I paid for was the ambulance. Which my insurance company paid for after I sent them the receipt.

>>681759510
maybe it was just for my class or something, its been a while since i got it.

>>681759623
Not all boyscout leaders are pedos, just like 90%

>>681760176
>I was putting fuel in my ride on lawn mower and it ignited

I want to know more about this.
Is the filling inlet close to an exhaust pipe that was hot or something, cos thats odd to have fuel catch alight.

>>681760176
pics?

>>681758413
I just use super glue
Cost $3

I live in sweden, I get stiches for free motherfuckers

>>681760590
if my girlfriend wasnt there at the time i would have glued it, unfortunately pussy has power

This happened 4 or 5 years ago, I have no pics.
>working up in qld making reo piers with a diameter of 2 meters
>hot day, about 40 degrees
Decide to put plastic around the outside of the pier to keep the sun off us (comes in rolls)
>out of nowhere a big gust of wind picked up
>pushed me and one other person rolling down a hill inside it (we use tie wire to tie it together)
>All the sharp cuts of tie wire are cutting into my arm as we roll
>I needed 13 stitches in various places over my arm
> my mate got 3 stitches in his chin and lost his eye.
We laugh about it now

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>>681760637
pewdiepie is that you?

>>681760741
hist fucking eye!?

>>681760918
Yeh, blind in one eye now

>>681758413
575$ for a cut finger?? Jesus

>>681761008
dam, that sucks

i made a mistake of having a nigger for a roommate. he raped me. can't shit normally anymore.

>>681758413
I punched out the window of a sinking car and pulled out a child and dog.
Got 42 stitches over 5 cuts

>>681759089
no, you dont

>>681758413
This is why I would never live anywhere without universal healthcare

>>681761143
Also broke 3 bones in wrist doing so.

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It is what it is

>>681761143
Pics or it didn't happen

>>681760448
You have no idea how many people have asked me about this.
It's a long story but basically it ran out of fuel while I was mowing the back of the block and I had fuel on board. These mowers have an issue of long dry grass getting stuck in between the frame and the drive belts that gets hot and can ignite. The grass in there was really hot and some fuel over spilled and was enough to ignite. Fire started underneath the mower. I had a fire extinguisher on the back of the ute parked not far away.

>>681758413
i got lost on my way to the kitchen.

>>681760544
Because you got dubs I will try get them off my old phone

>>681761697
>you have no idea how many people have asked me about this.
Literally, no one did itt.
Cool story though

Thank God I haven't touched my HSA for 4 years and have like 7k for medical shit.

Had my wisdom teeth extracted for 600-700 dollars last time I used it.

>>681762011
People in the real world. Not spergs in 4chan

>>681762272
Obvious bait mate

>>681762011
>Literally, no one did itt.
you fuckwit, see >>681760448


>>681761697
Only in Oz, where even the fauna tries to kill you by nefarious and odd means...

>>681762265
isnt it such bulllshit? Humans went back a notch on the evolutionary timeline when we decided healthcare should cost money

>Living in 'Murica
>everyone is poor
>healthcare costs an arseload

Thank god I live in Australia

>>681758413
I cut the palm of my hand with a pencil

don't ask how

>be retarded
>hurt self
>go to professionals
>pay big money
>bitch at obama


you are one of the people we blame for a shitty country

>>681762719

dont fucking tell me what to do.....so, how?

>>681762898
>be retarded
Shit happens, it was an accident, slipped when opening a box.
>Hurt self
yup
>Professionals
yup
>Pay big money
yup
>Bitch at obama
Nope, I payed my bill and cried but I didnt blame anyone but myself. Faggot.

>>681762611
Yeah I mean. I haven't touched my hsa, its got a good amount. But that isnt shit. Girlfriends father got stints put in and had a 70000 bill. His medical covered 64k.

Who the fuck has 6k laying around.

Then of coarse you have the wonderfull, oh but you can make a million easy paymebts of 400 a month, on top of rent food and utilities.

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>>681758413
yo op i got the same mousepad
lets be blood brothers

>>681763031
is hard to explain,
there a tiny and no deep hole in my bed and i leave a pencil there standing up because it was funny to see,
i go to turn my lights off and them when i go to my bed i tripped
>hand + standing pencil
it was a pretty clean cut btw.

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>>681762898

>>681763380
is that ketchup

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>>681760544
Photo of when it happened

>>681763380
haha the effort you put into that picture

>>681758413
I did the same thing when making a bow in HS. Cut my thumb down to the bone. Sucked. I wrapped it up and treated it myself at home. I cut the tip of it through my fingernail lengthwise down to it.

>>681763674
no its definitely blood

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>>681760544
After 1 week pre skin graft

>>681763876
ickyyy

>>681759510
Same, and the knives we used looked the same as the ones back in the 70's.

>>681763527
>kek

the story of how I impaled myself and now have a hand vagina, by I.R anoonamoos

>>681763876
Holy shit..

>>681763854
>no its definitely Heinz

>>681763876
acid? lye?

>>681758413
in my country medical care is free.
Who the fuck live in a country where medical care cost in 2016?

>>681763876
Did it smell weird?

Hahah sucked in. That's what happens when your country is shit and doesn't provide basic health care

>>681764346
Nah burns from fire.

>>681764406
Nah they put this silver sulfate dressing on it that kept it sterile and really clean.

>>681764386
>Who the fuck live in a country where medical care cost in 2016

Free medical maybe, but fuck-all when is comes to literacy and grammar.

>>681764386
The difference between Americans and Europeans is that if Americans wanna move out of the country they have to options

>Canada
Free health care but fucking cold

or
>Mexico
Medical care doesnt cover beheading

Europeans can just drive 20 mins and they will be out of the country

>>681758413
That's what you get for going to the ER because you cut your finger you pussy

>>681764756
>4chan in a nutshell

>>681764691
>Medical care doesnt cover beheading

Keked hard.

>>681764756
And this is why health care costs money in America.

im just laughing at those americans that have to pay for health care and education while we in europe does not have to pay shit for education we even get paid to go to school.

>>681764756
not op but usually when people go for stitches a bandaid isnt going to help much.

>>681762703
>Live in 'murica
>pay insurance bill every month
>pay next to nothing for everything medical I'll need

oh god it's so terrible /s

>>681764972
>we even get paid to go to school
>2016, a matter of months before the Quran is part of the syllabus.

Shut up Jorgen and go watch your women get ploughed by a sand nigger

>>681758413
But who who the fuck wants universal subsidised government healthcare or obamacare as fox news coined it. Cut my leg 12 stitches with an aesthetic in aus. $0. Winning

>>681764998
>while we in europe does not have
Yeah maybe you faggots should start paying for education, seems like the free shit isnt working out well.

>>681765242
Indeed winning.

>>681765242
yeah, i think my deductible for this was like 35 bucks total then the wrest will be covered through my works insurance

>>681765307
Oh damn son. I see that your gun laws does not work out well school shooting every friday and corrupt police force. I wonder who's country is better.

>>681763175

i guarantee this is what happened.

>flicking knife around
>sudden movement
>cut self


You should have
>cleaned it
>clear masking tape to keep it closed but gives you wound vision
>wait 5-6 hours
>use warm water to remove tape with ease
>clean it
>retape it
>keep hand in sock over night
>remove, clean, and rebandage it
>be careful while beating dick

your set in 6 days

>>681765506
You are trying too hard and now sound like a nigger, reel back the full blown autism a bit and then try again.

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>be me breaking up with gf
>sitting in a very uncomfortable position
>move leg
>hit nose with my knee
>start bleeding
>continue to break up

>>681765744
Nice English. I think your autism has damaged your grammar.

>>681764998

Free college waters down education.

Hows your sand nigger problems going m8?

>>681765506
Rather be shot than stabbed to death by a crude home made shank like the ones used by mudslimes in Europe, you know the ones that are raping your mothers and daughters left and right.

>>681765752
>kek

you are the best Anon

>>681765841
can you not read and comprehend or are you just a simpleton?

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>>681758413
My gas bill got pretty high quite fast out of nowhere. $9mil bill

>>681765860
About 100k are going to be sent home kek.

>>681765691
i was opening a box and the knife close on me, i was cutting twords myself though, lesson learned, an like i said, normally i would have glued it, but my girlfriend has power over me.

Not totally an "accident" because I was being stupid. I decided to play 5 finger fillet and sliced my pinky kinda bad, half inch closer and I would have stabbed it

>>681762356
Stop being such a newfag, sweet jesus, just fucking lurk.

>>681765180
>pay not to pay
>pay anyways
ishygddt

>>681766175
Hey. Strayans look out for each other.

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>>681758555
wew

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>>681764998
Hate to tell you, you're gonna have to start paying for your own security pretty soon anon.

The gravy train is about to stop.

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>>681758413
>>681758739
>>681758976
>>681760637
>>681765691


Fuck all that shit I live in Canada mutha fucker I got free health care Murcia slave fags

>>681766748
atleast it gets passed 30 degrees where i live.

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>>681765895
wow, so butthurt
that actually made me laugh

>>681766748
Well sayd

>>681766945
im just glad i dont live with a bunch of mudslimes is all, why would i be butthurt when ive already won.

>>681766839
At least I don't got bitch skin that can't go outside under 30 Celsius

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>>681767407
>when ive already won
oh boy lmao

>>681758413
Broke my arm cost me 2grand for the deductable, been unemployed and can't get any healthcare here in california because they think I'm still making money. Gave em all the paperwork a d they approve me for a clinic thats out of county, so now I really don't qualify

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>>681766748
Your free ride as America's hat is about to end anon. You're gonna have to start paying your fair share for security.

If not, prepare for annexation. OK if Russia does it to Ukraine so OK for the US, amirite?

>>681768224
Come to Canada as a imagrent

>>681768315
Like the world would let that happen, or me. Actually, you guys look like another civil war is on the rise again for you guys. Maybe you should start caring about that bug out shelter you paid for.

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>>681768672
Whatever comforts you anon. Fact is we're tired of paying for your ass.

Get ready to pony up.

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>>681768672
An American gets a DUI (drunk driver). Cannot travel to Canada, even for business.

Mexican is a known felon and repeated border jumper. If the US does not embrace this person, American's are racist.

Fuck that shit. Suck my juicy twat.

>>681769114
Haha what's this we shit? I'm sure you don't vote, don't pay taxes and certainly have never spent a day in the military.

>be me
>be at school on a sat.(alone)
> go to the soldering building at the bottom of the university complex to finish a proyect
>average soldering its over so i had to use steel soldering instead for the first time
Badidea.com
>shit start spitting melted steel everywhere because im using to much power
>one of the fucking drops with the mass of a penny goes across my jeans and shoes, till it reach my ankle
>oh shit oh shit oh shit
Close the damn building, walk half a mile before reaching the public transport rout
Travel almost an hour before reaching home with a burned, digged and kind of bleeding ankle

>>681760741
Australia cunt, loss an eye all good cunt, oi get me another VB

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>>681768672
Retired US military intel fag here. Actually there are a lot of plans for this kind of thing. Most of them involve securing areas in the far north/arctic for military operations. Several involve securing Alberta oil sands in Alberta.

US and Canada forces and coast guards work quite closely together - almost as one country usually. I can assure you that joint military exercises leave no doubt as to who is in charge.

>Pro-tip: when traveling overseas, put Canada maple leaf flags on your shit. No one bothers to blow up a Cannuck.

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>>681758413
Good job, OP
I pulled a dumbass last week, and reached across the tip of my kitchen knife...

>>681770537
Can you please tell me what in the actual fuck is going on at pine gap

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>>681769642
You're quite mistaken anon. Here's a car I have. DMV makes me pay taxes every time I register.

And why do I have to pay taxes on a car I already own? To pay for your lazy ass of course.

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>>681770725
You know what Google does?

US/Aus/UK (and Cannucks, once removed) have been reading all electronic info since WW2.

Read up on Enigma (WW2) and then Echelon.

Google does this as a commercial enterprise, but you get free e-mail out of the deal. Nice trade, ain't it?

Stitches are fucking easy to do yourself unless its in a hard to reach place. Just get a kit including local anasthesiac.

>>681771244
So Edward Snowden sort of stuff? All I know is Goff Whitlam wanted it shut down and all of a sudden he is voted out of office.

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>>681771851
Don't know much about that guy, a PM I think.

Anyways, a tin-foil hat must be worn properly. Snowden got away with a lot of info - he didn't really get the crown jewels, but he can figure those out for himself.

What I really don't understand is why anyone makes a distinction between Google and the US (or any) government.

Do you know how many moles work at Google? Me neither. Informed estimates put it at about 50 for the US. Somewhere between 5 and 10 for the Russians and maybe the same for the Chinese.

Of course all their data center trunk lines are replicated. Hard drives are cheap.

>>681758413

Why do you live in a second-world country? The U.K., most of Europe, and Australia have universal healthcare and treatment is free.

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>>681773070
>healthcare and treatment is free

Have fun with your McDonalds healthcare. But hey, it's free, right?

This is not the way in which we'll lift our species.

>>681772898
Yeah it's pretty scary. Fitbit are working pretty closely with the Aus government these days.

>>681758413
Stiches in a finger is pretty much no use, the skin is so thin.

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I guess i win?

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>>681774423
Accident with my bike, 8 years ago, insurance covered everything.

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Was both awesome and awful at the same time.

>At LAN party
>Everyone kind of tipsy
>Decide it would be fun to play tag
>I'm it
>Everyone running around
>Chase someone outside
>They run back in and lock the door
>Glass door
>"Hey Anon! Bet you won't break it!"
>TERMINATOR MODE ACTIVATE!!
>Punch through the glass
>Door shatters loudly
>Fucking glass EVERYWHERE
>Ready in and unlock it instead of walking through it
>Open the door and walk in
>Everyone is just looking at me shocked
>Look down at my hand
>Large shards of glass sticking out of my hand
>At least 4 large shards and a bunch of little ones
>Scream bloody fucking murder
>Call sister to drive me to the hospital
>Doctor asks me what happened
>Come up with some fake story about closing a window
>Doctor asks why I smell of alcohol
>Only 17 at the time
>Oh fuck...


Long story short, had to get a few stitches, cops got involved, friend's dad got in serious trouble for getting us booze, never had a LAN party again.

>>681761366
He was probably on pcp

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>>681758413
I shotmyself in my left index finger with a nailgun about 3 years ago, had 3 surgeries and couldn't work for more than half a year. The costs for just the medical treatment and transport came to 20.000€, but fuck yeah Germany, I didn't have to pay a single cent and got my full loan for the whole time.
What the fuck MURCA?

>>681758413
Why don't you live in a country with free healthcare?

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>>681774505
4 Surgeries, couldn't walk for 1 year, yea it was bad.

>>681760824
shut the fuck up

>>681761143
I punched out the window of a sinking car and instead of rescuing the kid I chose to rescue a nigger called Will Smith. There was more chance of him securing permanent housing in the future. In jail. Because he's a fucking filthy nigger.

CALL DA PO LEE. DAT CAR SINKIN. SUMBOD CALL A AMBER LAMPS.

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>>681775291
Lighten up Francis. Or I'll kill you.

>and the bill came to $575

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>681758413
Get fucked cunt.
Glad i get the NHS. Free from cradle to the grave.
got to leave the eu though or the nhs is kill

>>681775848
>got to leave the eu

that's a funny way of spelling "get rid of the tories", given its them who are hell-bent on dismantling the NHS, in case you hadnt noticed Hunt trying to force doctors to work longer hours, impose contracts on them, etc - that being the same Hunt who happened to write a manifesto a few years ago about how to dismantle the NHS and replace it with private healthcare companies run by him and his cronies.

how fucking stupid do you have to be to think that the EU is a threat to the NHS, when the government in control of this country has openly stated its intentions to wreck it?