>>681535177
Dubs chakt

Just wanted to say you're a worthless fucking degenerate, and post pic with timestamp and supposed expensive car.

File: 1024px-Manjaa.jpg (84 KB, 1024x749) Image search: [Google]

84 KB, 1024x749

must be an indiot not to get suspended sentence and probation

is your iq like 75?

>>681535177
>>681535299
Double dubs by me in less than 30 seconds nice.

Well that was smart.
Except the part where you fall for it.
Welcome back Grand Theft Anon.
You didn't miss anything good.

More stories OP.

File: charlesmurray_bydavidlevine.gif (15 KB, 300x385) Image search: [Google]

15 KB, 300x385

>>681535355
>>681535299
>>681535177

brotherhood of the dubs

>>681535299
how do I time stamp with the cars I had 4 years ago before I was caught and givin a prison sentence?

you should go get GTA V

>>681535688
True and check'd. Can you find article around that time to prove your stories? Kinda sounds like something a middle or high schooler made up. But can be true.

>>681534876
4chin is shit now
full of traps, faggots and SJWs
but maybe you're right here OP
u will fit to this homosexual Community after sucking some niggerdicks and gangraped by niggers in prison

What are you going to do now OP? Be a good little boy or try stealing again?

>>681534876
Any experience with codegrabbers?

File: IMG_0376.jpg (74 KB, 399x382) Image search: [Google]

74 KB, 399x382

>>681534876

I saw that episode too.

>>681535355
6 counts of grand theft. Looking at a maximum of 18 years. I got out in 4. Did pretty good.

recent ex prison goer here anon,

got out of Silverwater Correctional Complex in Sydney, Australia bout a month ago

Served 24 months for cannabis trafficing with a small amount (30g) in Australia

shit sucked man, im starting to get used to life now out

>>681536118
confirmed for retyard no money no laywer
probably step 1 ratted yourself out

Nice story bro. But can you prove it? Any documents without personal info etc you could timestamp?

did you befriend Morgan freeman

File: 362.jpg (19 KB, 280x400) Image search: [Google]

19 KB, 280x400

>>681534876
Gr8 story m8

Gone in sixty seconds

>>681535515
I stole an SRT challenger and almost was caught.
>late as fuck.
>challenger is parked on a raised up price of concrete to display it.
>if I was in ur I could back up down a little ramp and drive off.
>that's the plan.
>start that mofo up.
>if I was to go forward I would go off a 3 or 4 foot drop and be in the street
>put it in reverse and an SUV comes around the dealer parking lot corner.
>comes flying up behind me and blocks me in and what do you know? Red and blue lights it's the boys in blue.
>no where to go.
>think for a sec... Smash her in 1st gear and romp on it.
>launch myself dukes of hazard style into the street.
>land hard as fuck.
>take off like a bat out of hell.
>hit the highway. Doing 140.
>engine temp climbing.
>take off ramp.
>park it under a bridge. Oil pan must have a hole from slamming the ground.
>over heated. Start walking.
>MOTHER FUCKER. My phone.. I left it in the challenger. Sprint back. Get phone. See cop rolling up. I sprint into the alley.
>staying hidden as I make my way home.
> get home. Shaking.
>take a shower.
>order a pizza.
>eat good and wait for cops to come.
>they never show up.
>close call but I made it that time.

File: 1379905278345.jpg (83 KB, 1224x1632) Image search: [Google]

83 KB, 1224x1632

>>681536054
hes been out for 38 days, he already knows its a shithole. Also hes been here 4+ years ago, so hes known for years now that its a shithole.

>>681536405
I just got an apartment. All my shit is in boxes and totes throughout my place I could find some shit but I would have to do some real searching.

>>681536650
Yes.

>>681536325
Rough ass prisons in Australia from what I hear. I served in California.
Is rape a big issue in ausi prison

>>681534876
What was the most fucked up thing u saw in prison?

>>681537613
>Dukes of Hazard style

Doubt it, that piece of shit takes like 5 seconds to reach 60. That front end would've tipped as soon as the wheels went off the edge and the card would've slid off.

>>681538618
Shiiiit. watched a little wanna be thug named Charlie Reese get buttfucked by two big ass black dudes for literally 8 hours and the guards knew it was happening. Give me a sec I'll type it all up.

Did money have any part in it, or purely for the hell of it? Sometimes I think about shit like this, it just seems so easy when you actually plan it out. Did it ever lose its thrill, to the point where it was just another month, another car? How many cars in total?

>>681538750
Ooh dude it defiantly didn't resemble the general getting mad air I just meant I did what Luke and Boe would have done. I slammed front bumper first hard as a motherfucker. Crinkled the hood and cracked the windshield and everything. It wasn't a flawless landing my any means.

Bump, want more stories from OP

if you stolen for a exotic car dealership, you would know that there is a key programer that all dealerships have , you must be still a rookie.

>OP IS A LYING, HAS BEEN CONFIRMED

>>681540020
Agreed.

>>681539534
Need more stories like this dude

>>681539042
>punk little kid gets 1 year sentence.
>literally weighs like 120 has dyed blond hair.
>my new cell mate.
>black dudes across the way call him a tree jumper for looking like a fruit or something.
>kid says "fuck you dirty niggers ima fuck you up first chance I get!"
>dun fucked up kid.
>asks me to protect him. Ima bigger guy and in shape.
>sorry kid u fucked up already.
>tell him to request to be moved or do something to get segregated.
>says he's gunna hit a guard.
>kid sobs like a bitch all night.
>morning. Cell opens.
>he walks right up to maria. The only girl guard in the place and everyone loves her.
>hits her as hard as he can.
>she falls and head hits wall.
>he boots her in the face three times before I slam this dude on his head.
>alarm goes off we all have to go to our cells.
>I get interviewed and explain he did that to get away from big black and MR thickness across from us.
>Maria is all fucked up knocked her teeth out and broke cheek bones.
>that night at 10pm guards come to my cell.
>tell him to put hands behind his back and they zip tie him.
>open cell.
>walk in to big black and thickness.
>opens their cell.
>pushes him in.
>both our cells close.
>I get to listen to him scream and cry as he's fucked over and over by two big ass black guys.
>after 2 hours or so he stops screaming.
>just hear muffled cries and the smacking sounds of balls slapping his taint and the blacks talking dirty to him.
>they move him back to my cell the next morning. They repeat this like once or twice a week for 6 months. He doesn't even fight it.

>>681539204
For money. It was thrilling and badass but also really scary.
It never got old it was always a thrill but I wouldn't get as nervous and shit.
I stole 18 cars and 4 bikes in 8 different states.

>>681541339
What's the total sum you've stolen and profit of everything you've stolen?

>>681540963
is maria ok now?

>>681540439
Key programmer? Try a lockbox. The most high tec thing I came across was a metal locker on the wall with a number key pad to unlock it with a code.

>>681540963
That's what he deserved for being such a faggot

>>681539534
If you had said that in the story it would have been far better.

>>681541984
i know from my own personal experiences that there are computers (handheld) that will start the car for you without the need of any keys.

What do you plan to do now OP?

>>681541862
Yea she was an older woman so she had her teeth removed and got false ones. He knocked out a lot of them so it was easier to get dentures.
She had to get surgery on her face and she had real damage to her right eye and it was like cloudy looking.
She never acted the same though. She used o be easy going and crack jokes and would walk tall. When she came back she was jump and I could tell it messed with her head.
She retired a year later.

>>681534876
did you have any bad feelings about the setup? was anything weirdly different?

sounds fucking badass

>>681534876
You missed a lot. Like a whole fucking lot. 4Chin isn't the same as it used to be.

>>681542359
Oooooh. I get what u are saying I thought you meant there were no keys or what keys wouldn't work. I've also seen little plastic fob like things that u can hold near the ignition and it starts.

>>681535299
Your reading comprehension is atrocious!

>>681540963
holy fucking shit that's crazy

>>681542878
I missed quite a bit of the green text without realizing.

Anything else OP?

>>681541583
Shit man idk. I had 1.3 mill taken from my house when I got caught. I bought a Titan Phoenix moter cycle with cash that was 45k that was taken. (Didn't pay taxes on the bike either walked in a dealership and said I'd pay sticker price but no paperwork and I wasn't going to pay the tax. Cash. "No problem sir right this way") I bought a big ass speed boat from an lawyer that said "not guilty" on the side that was taken. They took all kinds of shit. All together I would guess I had stolen a little over 2 million dollars in cars. Maybe 2.3

>>681543606
Damn. Should have hidden some somewhere.

>>681543606
why didn't you stop? will you ever go back to it? you could move to canada or something and do the same thing you just have to be smarter this time and cover your tracks

>>681543606
Ooh and I never even got to drive that boat. Bought it probably 6 months before I was busted and never even took the cover off of it.

>>681534876
Does it make you feel cool, lying on 4chan?

>>681543871

Hire kids to do the job and pay them shit. Get away once you reach 2Mill again

>>681542406
Really sorry to hear that about her.

>>681534876
>PROTIP: OP IS A FAG AND FULL OF SHIT

Nearly every vehicle made after 2000 is lowjacked with onstar. whether you have active service or not, it has a constant GPS connection.

>must be getting close to summer.
>the story when you had a bad day in 8th grade and just watched gone in sixty seconds on spike tv

File: 1426761372961.gif (2 MB, 390x277) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 390x277

Stealing top end car, none of which had trackers. Ops talking shit, odds are the cars will old 80-90s shitbox corollas

>>681544423
>take car to empty lot
>strip the car
>put shit you need in a van
>leave the stripped car
>buy again legally from cop auction

Not op but that explains gps not helping find him.

>>681540963
moar?

More OP.

>>681542524
Yea actually.
I called two dealerships to ask about cars online and bother of them suggested I call Lamborghini north las Angeles. I thought it was odd that dealerships were turning me to their competitor and both suggested the same dealership.
>didn't think anything of it.
>I checked their website.
>nothing too interesting.
>I decide to go up there and look around.
>lambo aventador blacked out on display.
>car wasn't listed on their website.
>a salesman walks up looking nervous as fuck.
>shakes my hand. Sweating bullets.
>Iooks fishy..
>ask him if he's okay while looking at him with my eyes kinda saying "something is off"
>he says yea just new on the job here.
>"so your interested in the aventador huh?"
>I wasn't even near that car yet and he had no reason to suspect that.
>I say "ooh no I just wanted to see a real lambo up close its my dream car"
>get out of dodge.
>aventador sits their for weeks. I need it.
>I give in and make my move.
>feels off. I saw like 3 cops on my way there and I keep thinking its a sign to back down.
>just do it and i will be done with this shit. I'll part it out or frame it and put it back together and sell it and I can sip whiskey in Cabo.
>make my way inside. Can't find key.
>fucking sitting in the open.
>never seen that before ether.
>I get in it. And sit there for a sec breathing calming myself down.
>go to fire it up and it won't start.
>door won't open back up. Cops are on me.
>I wish there was a badass car chase to end my reign but there's not.

Give us more of them brutal prison stories!!

OP how did you deal with reporting the new income?
Did you just claim to be a car enthusiast who buys old cars from auctions and sells em?
Wouldn't they ask where the parts came from?
A surge in income would cause you to be audited right?

>>681545193
>take car to empty lot
>strip car down
>dealership with smashed Windows
>no alarm at dealership
>takes like 15 seconds to strip a car

HAH WITH PREP AND 5 PPL WOULD STILL TAKE HOURS

ITT: NEWFAGS

>>681546024
maybe scambler?

>>681545758
well that was an ass-move

>>681546024
What does it mean to strip a car?

>>681546024
With prep and 5 people you will have it stripped in under 2 hours, that is if you have schematics and know what you're doing. And before you start raging like a faggot, I am a licensed car mechanic.

>>681545758
your own fault that you got caught then

>>681546233
take the guts, especially the block and tranny

>>681540963
the fuck is a tree jumper?

>>681540963

Is this really something that could happen in us prisons?

>>681537613
if you ever get fingerprinted/DNA tested for anything your fucked

>>681546365
you are a licensed faggot that did 3 years for diddling your baby sister, you got buttfucked daily and stayed in suicide watch/protective custody

>>681544423
You are actually right about this and it was a big concern. My first job I lucked out and drive it to my brothers and didn't get caught. My brother informed me of this horse shit you speak of. I sold my dirtbike (KTM450) and bought a trailer big enough for wide ass cars. I would steal the car and drive to some shitty ass parking deck in town somewhere that was old and rarely used that we would have scouted out in advance. We would put the car in the trailer and disconect the battery and then drive the truck and trailer to my brothers chop shop.

>>681546024
>>681546365
>>681546463
Do you guys think the police could track the car via gps before a team could strip the car?
Could the team strip the gps first?
Idk how any of this shit works.

>>681546645
Agreed. Doesn't sound something liberals or anyone would really approve of.

>>681536054
>>681537746

there wasnt that many faggots/normies/newfags/tumblrs 4 years ago.
its really bad today

>>681534876
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>681546770
Cool story bro, you talking about your self now aren't you?

>>681547005
Why should anyone aprove rape beeing used as an punishment?

Wow, you were home free you retard.

>>681546781
still failing, on star has its own battery, stop shitposting on my /b/. go play Nintendo but first delete thread

>>681547450
Yeah agreed. That's what I'm saying. But California is full of liberals and Social Justice Warriors

>>681540963
>>I get interviewed and explain he did that to get away from big black and MR thickness across from us.

isn't that snitching? technically anyway...

>>681547001
Probably, but its a job in which you would need a gps jammer, or having the knowledge on where to look for the tracking device.

>>681540439

not op -- but according to the story, this would have been five years ago.

first key programmers would be about what year?

>>681545944
I kept everything in cash.
The only thing I would have to buy and record would be the frame after police found it which would only be like 1000 dollars. I would use cash for everything I wouldn't insure the car once I put it back together.i would take the car to cars how's and shit like that and find someone who shows interest in it Someonewith deep pockets and offer them an outrageous deal. 100k for a car worth 180k or some shit and say ur paying me in cash and ur paying me $2000 for the frame. I'm giving you the rest of the car for free. And you are giving me $98,000 as a gift.

>>681547512
It depends how its installed, if someone did a half-assed job on it, they might have just connected the tracking device to the cars battery.

>>681547933
by "cash" he means cum loads in his ass

>>681534876
>/b/ - Random
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

MOAR PRISON STORIES

>>681548183
Is this true OP?

>>681546024
Me and my brother could strip a car to the frame on our own in around 3 hours. if I stole a car at midnight we would have it taken apart and have the frame on the side of the street somewhere before sunrise.

>>681548331
>>681547157
You two are a couple of faggots. Even if it is fake just shut the fuck up and enjoy the stories. You autistic fuckwits.

>>681547665

Imagine if you did something stupid and get sentenced to prison for something minor. Then you may have to deal with getting fucking gangraped or stabbed to death just for beeing the wrong race.

>>681548476
>"Me and my brother would fuck each other in the ass. If we didn't cum by midnight, we would molest my 12 year old sister"

FIX'D

>>681535688
So that entire time you never took one picture??!...I call bullshit on this post soooooo hard, why even tell a fake story on an anon board? Sometimes I just don't know about people, fuck.
>dealer mechanic fag here
>high end bent, rolls, maser
>I know how auctions work
>none of this would work

>>681547512
You are a dipshit. Onstar does not have its own battery. It's runs off the car battery. "Ohh shit my onstar AA's went out. Better go to cvs and get replacements." Unplug the battery and onstar is no more.

>>681547477
I know I regret that last job so much I think about it all the time. I shoulda just walked away.

File: 1461624872419.jpg (58 KB, 520x368) Image search: [Google]

58 KB, 520x368

>>681534876

Listen to this bro
My big bro did a bid
Lessons learned are meant to be my friend we all make mistake
https://m.soundcloud.com/ronniescholarship/go-away-when-in-rome-mixtape

That sucks dude you're a jerk

>>681548999
DUMB NIGGER you know how an alternator keeps a battery charged? the on star is charged in factory with a 2yr life lithium ion cell that charges itself, I worked for Chrysler in kokomo Indiana so shut the fuck up

File: 144566531244.jpg (53 KB, 506x337) Image search: [Google]

53 KB, 506x337

>>681548364

>>681547685
hes snitching on the 120lb kid that beat the guard everyone liked, i dont think anyone's gonna care.

>>681536325
Fuck me, just over an ounce is trafficking in Aus? Then I'm motherfucking Tony Montana when I pickup those QP's of loud!

>>681547685
It is snitching. But what he did to Maria there is not a single dude in that prison that would givin a shit that I snitched. The only dude who would care would be the dude getting fucked nightly and like I said he was like 120 lbs. he had boiling water thrown on him at lunch and got beat up so often. He was a piece of shit but what that kid endured was savage. It got to the point to when the guards when come to transfer him to big blacks sex dungeon, he wouldn't even say a work he would let the gourds zip tie him without a fuss and he would walk into their cell without a fight. A silent wordless exchange. Kinda sad that he gave up. Accepted being a fuckdoll. They would make him suck their toes and shit in front of everyone in the middle of the day like during lunch or in the yard. He wouldn't even fight it.

this story is ridiculous on so many levels, here's what really happened
>OP is underage
>OP never leaves his room
>OP is gay
>OP is a virgin
>OP doesn't understand prison, lawsuits, police auctions, GPS systems, or taxes

amazing that you're that terrible at lying, just amazing

File: uggs.jpg (34 KB, 480x360) Image search: [Google]

34 KB, 480x360

>>681549913
i have a foot fetish

>>681544423
>>681547512
You're a dumb piece of shit, ONStar is only on General Motor vehicles. The car's he's described so far don't fall into GM.

>>681548956
I have plenty of photos in my old ass laptop but like I said it's all in boxes my shit has been in storage for 4 years. All my shit is in totes I have not even unpacked. I'm on a phone right now. Mom bought me a new phone when I got out and these fucking things kickass.

>>681534876
Out of all the things that have never happened, this one never happened the most.

>>681535936
This

>>681543606
K OP is FULL of shit on everything he says. You can't walk into a dealership I put down 50k in cash. In most places its against the law and when inventory time came there would be a discrepancy with no explanation?

Get real.

>>681551202
Also, there's no possible way his car story is true. Anyone who bought those expensive cars with the real VIN numbers would go try and register them and be flagged as insurance was already paid to dealership & marked as STOLEN.

>>681549513
Your fucking dumb kiddo. Unplug onstar from the fucking battery! Find the module. Pull all cords from it. Most people go to a dealer to have this done if they want it totally disconnected but if u can locate the module itself u can do it yourself. Simple.

>>681540963
that's bullshit

>>681534876
So they were watching you since the beginning? You were to flashy and dumb to think you could pull that job off twice. Its a beautiful scam though.

>>681535299
Moralfag gtfo faggot

File: Screenshot_2016-04-28-01-10-39.png (351 KB, 1440x2560) Image search: [Google]

351 KB, 1440x2560

>>681548999

You bloody autist

>>681551432
The real vin number is in the system dumbass. When u set the frame and all parts with the vin number on the sidewalk and it's found. It's sold in a police action and isn't listed as stolen anymore. Cuz police found it and the dealer collected on insurance. When u buy the vin numbered parts from the police auction u then legally own the vehicle. The actual vehicle is just the part with the vin. So u put all the parts back on and u have a car legally owned.

>>681552114
I was not aware. But either way when u unplug the module onstar is off. U can have a dealer do it cuz sometimes the module is a pain in the ass to get too but if u know where it's at by using the interweb u can locate it and unplug it from the battery.

>>681550281
Implying high value supercars in car showrooms dont have some form of gps tracking.

>>681551625
Idk if from the start but at least for a while. I got sloppy and cocky. I paid for it:

More prison stories op?

>>681550659
Fucking shit dude. This made me realize how long 4 years really is. How much news do you get in prison?

>>681552551
Op here. They do have gps. Almost all of them do. But find the module and u can disable it there's two cords running from them. A thick black one and a blue one. Pull me out and ur set.

>>681550659
>all my proof is in boxes and storage
>guy out of prison claims he has been paying to store shit
>total bullshit confirmed

Nice storytelling skills though.

>>681552499
We can rule out that onstar was present on these supercars as its a gm thing but honestly im pretty sure car dealerships would have a tracking system in place on their vehicles. Its like a few years ago someone stole 3 vehicles from an audi garage including an r8 but the police loacted them using gps coordinates to a ditch abandoned after the thieves bailed out.

>>681548794
He fucked up a well known female guard pretty hard though.

>>681552818
Ok give me a sec to type.

What the OP is now experiencing is what's known as the "sunk-cost fallacy", having already spent 2-3 hours concocting a ridiculous fantasy with no basis in reality, he feels he must defend those hours spent by refusing to let go of the lie.

You keep wasting time asshole, just quit.

>>681546645
Can, and does.

>>681553011
Now you're bullshitting kiddo. Hurr durr black blue wires, that could be anything from the electrical system and seriously these things have a tamper system. You try to mess with it it'll send thelast coordinates

>>681553012
Mamma kept all my stuff in her storage unit buddy. ;) even had temp control. (Left folded up blankets out and they literally turned into confetti. Mice I'm assuming.)

>>681534876
I did 18 months in prison in Louisiana, had 2 felonies (burglary, got probation, then violated when I helped a buddy break into a house). OP is full of shit with his glorious story but it was a fun read.

What I saw: lots of fights. Lots of stupid, angry, antisocial people. Lots of threats of fight. Lots of guys who would NOT WASH THEIR GODDAMN HANDS after taking a shit. Ugliness, coldness, the elements, hateful and stupid people. Yeah, 2 or 3 times I think some ginger got raped. I'm not a small guy but 2 or 3 big black dudes could've raped me if they wanted to. With that many on you there is no fighting it.

I swear to you, I don't care if I starve, I am not breaking a fucking major law the rest of my life because I am not going back there. I won't even smoke pot anymore and that is just a misdemeanor.

ITT:does Onstar have its own batteries
>thread had potential
>this is now an Onstar thread

File: American_Beaver.jpg (182 KB, 718x721) Image search: [Google]

182 KB, 718x721

>>681534876
What year was the Mustang?

>>681553227
Yea last coordinates hints why I fucking do it in an abandon parking deck or parking lot like I said. And idk what the blue wires and black wires mean as in the color all I'm saying is that's what color they were. I don't know much about computers and all that shit. But if u want something to stop working... Unplug it.

>>681553136
fukcing LOL'd at this, topkek

>>681547754
>gps jammer?
>I lose XM radio in an automatic car wash
>automatic car washes are gps jammers

>>681551202
nah you're wrong. the last car i bought i walked in with cold hard cash on got 5k off the asking price. cash rules all.

>>681553593
It was a 2001 mustang cobra. Was a quick little car. Nothing like what they are making now days though.

Can i just point out that some anon asked what stripping a car means and was answered civilly.
Wtf is /b coming to?

>>681553034
>We can rule out that onstar was present on these supercars as its a gm thing but honestly im pretty sure car dealerships would have a tracking system in place on their vehicles.

Yes, typically it is optional. I have a Mercedes G550 that cost $115,000 and have a tracking system on it. I have no clue where on the car they put the unit. It works just like Onstar, I can call for help if stranded. If it's ever stolen, I can call an 800 number and they can find it. I think the salesman said they can even remotely disable it but I'm not sure about that . . . who cares, honestly after it's stolen and ragged I just want my insurance money so I can buy a new one.

>>681553005
No news at all man we could get a tv but we had to pay for it and my outlet was broken from someone sticking shit in it probably to light toilet paper on fire to make tattoo ink or some shit. Either way it wouldn't work so no need to a tv. I would see a tv in the chow hall but it was always playing kids movies.

>>681554031
>wow someone answered a question without memes or trolling
>that just dulls my katana *tips*

>>681554031
/b is transforming into a better place of harmony and understanding

>>681554393
I am filled with warmth

OP do you think you'll go back to theft? (before you wake up)

File: image.png (376 KB, 1136x640) Image search: [Google]

376 KB, 1136x640

Arrested for tagging kinda stupid

OP, more stories about either cars or in Prison. Preferably both.

File: 1461459281027.jpg (28 KB, 413x416) Image search: [Google]

28 KB, 413x416

>>681535355
not sure if joking or retarded

>>681544423
Lol no.
And just because a car may have a GPS chip doesn't mean it's broadcasting.
The way GPS works the satellites don't handle any load.
So just because something is using GPS doesn't mean that it's trackable.

>>681554809
In 'Murica you can get arrested for pissing or drinking a beer, that's the land of freedom

>>681552818
First day in prison.
>nervous as hell.
>lunch time.
>I get my tray of food.
>there is a fly that was dead in my beans.
>get a guards attention and tell him thinking maybe I could get another tray.
>guard goes "ooh gee.. That just won't do. Let me get that for you"
>grabs my tray takes one step and bangs it on the trash can and all of my food goes right into the trash.
>hands me my tray
>"there we go. Now eat up. Gotta get them nutrients"
>other guards laugh.
>most hardcore looking black dude in the fucking worlds gets up from his table and starts walking my way.
>tattoos all over neck and face and arms.
>sits down in front of me and sets his tray down and just looks at me.
>I'm thinkin should I punch this guy or should I walk away or should I just lube up and request he be gentle or what..
>he says "here man"
> slides his tray to me.
>"I worked the food today so I been eatin all morning so u can have my tray."
>the start to a really good friendship. He gets out in 2018. One of the nicest guys I've ever met.

>>681536325
There has to be more to the story, dude. Not your first offence im guessing? jesus man, 24 months for just over an ounce sounds fucking steep.
Prison in sydney would suck ass man, id much rather get jailed in like south australia or queensland, fuck the lebs

I call bullshit, you have to qualify and make an appointment before you can test a high end car like that. After all I should know, my captcha was about cars.

>>681551202
Yes. It is against the law to pay for things with cash.
>being this retarded

>>681555231
i fucking like that shit. brothers need to stay together, iuu feel?

>>681555231
damn

File: image.jpg (109 KB, 844x612) Image search: [Google]

109 KB, 844x612

>>681555105
Still gay though

>>681547033
only a newfag would say that.

>>681547033
>there wasnt that many little boys fucking me in the ass 4 years ago. its really bad today

Fixed it for you

>>681555335
Nah man we had some dealerships say we need to put ten thousand down to test drive one but we wouldn't ever actually drive one. When we found where the keys were located we would split.

>>681555231
That's some movie material, for real, you should make a movie about your life

>>681538433
never been to prison in oz but id be willing to do time there rather than a fucking US prison. they look fuct. we dont have as many murderers here

>>681555231
You should make a new thread some time if you really have boxes full of proof or pictures. And you should really try to get the guards arrested and hopefully they go to jail and they get raped. that would be top kek of all time

More stories cool OP

>>681555908
correct, OP writes a decent script

>>681555511
It get reported to the IRS if someone pays over $10k in cash.

>>681534876
You're a smart/cool criminal

>>681555999
dub trips decides

>>681554381
Go out more.

>>681555999
Oh shit man I got trips

>>681554809
>>681555623

toy

>>681555511

He means buying it with no record. They have to transfer the title to you, register the vehicle, you pay taxes, etc. If a vehicle disappears from inventory with no record of who it was sold to, not only would he not own the vehicle, there would be some investigation.

>>681556051
And that makes it illegal how?

>>681556207
says the kid questioning why another anon didn't shit on another anon for answering a legit question

>>681534876
Just wanted to say you're a worthless fucking degenerate, and full of shit.

>>681543606
I had a Titan gecko. RM. Big (at the time) S&S engine. Fucker would vibrate your feet off the foot pegs at 110 mph though. Annoying as hell.

>>681555890
How exactly did you get them to show you the keys. Asked nicely while saying you wanted to test drive and then just looked at where he walked?

>>681549513
I'm just outside Kokomo near Burlington.

>>681555561
Yea man. That dude literally saved my life too.
>returned a book to the library.
>walked over a floor that had just been mopped
>Mexican dude flips out.
>I tell him to go fuck himself.
>turns out he's a popular dude.
>two days later
>marko (big black tattooed guy that I made friends with) shows up to my cell and says at to meet him before I go to cafeteria cuz some shit might go down.
>I figure he wants me to help him in a fight or some shit.
>think "fuck man i don't wanna fight and get in trouble.. But he is my friend"
>nervous and shit.
>meet up with him he has us sit Neal the front in a place we normally don't sit.
>ask him what's up?
>" idk man some shit might go down nigga u pissed some boys off"
>realize it's me he's protecting and it's not that he needs help he wanted to be there for me.
>out of no where fight breaks out. Marko is fuckin this Mexican dude up.
>pounding on his head he's stiff I continues cuz Marko doesn't fuck around.
>Marko gets tazed.
>Mexicans get moved to another wing.
>they was gunna stab me cuz walking on the mopped floor and marko was ready to duke it out with me and made sure he was by my side without me even asking.
>in all the commotion I broke my pinkie.
>shit snapped sideways somehow.
>never even got it fixed. Still faked up to this day.

>>681556618
If he struck a deal with the dealership I'm sure they have a way of making the paperwork disappear.

Its a stretch but they could fake a sale to someone. The owner could buy the car and just keep it on his name.

Potentially they could instruct whoever does inventory to ignore that missing bike and no one talks about it.

Just spitballing

>>681534876
do convicts let child molestors in gen pop/walk the yard?

>>681534876
Can you put me on your new list for a high-performance car? I've got cash...

>>681555908
call it Liar, Liar

>>681555977
I will get proof. I have photos and shit I just need to unpack. I have totes half emptied all around my apartment.

>>681557394
You better figure out some way to repay that dude. He seems like a life-long friend.

>>681557394
sounds like he playin the long game

>>681557585
sorry for pointing out the elephant in the room but what the fuck does totes mean????

>>681557197
My first Titan Phoenix was given to me by my uncle and it was stolen from meeee in Colorado at a bar. We parked down the road and I was with my dad and uncles and as we walked to the bar a bike flew by and my dad was like shit that looked like ur Titan. Turned around and it was gone. Dude stole my bike. So I bought a new one later on with the money I Got from stealing shit.

>>681555231
Obviously this story is a pack of shit.

But ignoring that, isn't like one of the first rules of prison: "don't accept things from other inmates". That leads to extortion/having to 'repay the favour'.

>>681557826
You know... Bins and shit.

File: photo 101.jpg (371 KB, 1037x775) Image search: [Google]

371 KB, 1037x775

>>681554393
it is 2016 and faggots are using the wrong restrooms

>>681557826
Tote, usually a plastic "box" almost that's large and easy to store things in. Usually has snap on lid.

>>681557409
It wasn't legal what we did. They even tried to get me to fill out paper work and I threatened to walk out. They made it work for me and I paid in $100 bills.

>>681557989
They were good bikes for a full on custom job. You could actually ride them and only had to tighten everything back up once a week or so.
Economy crash killed off a lot of custom bike makers.

File: neverhappened.jpg (34 KB, 488x351) Image search: [Google]

34 KB, 488x351

>>681558190

So you somehow had a vehicle you didn't own, unregistered and therefore uninspected in the state of California, the most meticulous for this shit, with no fucking plates and you drove this around? Yea, real fucking believable.

>>681557413
If they are a big case and known then no convicted sex offenders typically are segregated.

File: Tote.jpg (5 KB, 251x201) Image search: [Google]

5 KB, 251x201

>>681557826
Tote.

>>681558100
You shouldn't be disrespectful towards faggots, they may be strange but they're people too.

>>681558401
thats what i was told too, the pedos in loli threads didnt believe it

>>681557826
Neet slang for totally

any more interesting stories? Im interested to hear what an average day in jail is like.

>>681558428
>>681558179
>>681558096
thank you anons
is it similiar to a fingerbox just bigger?

>>681557655
He's really good at painting cars and knows a lo about engines. We plann on hooking up when he gets out and starting a company building racing engines for sprint cars and shit. Idk if it will happen but it's fun to think about. I'm defiantly gunna visit him though. And when he gets out I do plan on working with him. He's the nicest guy I know.

>>681558777
that's what I would have thought but these foreigners use it to mean something else apparently

also, were cars a hobby for you before you started stealing them? I love driving fast cars as well and I actually know how to hotwire shitboxes. I would never steal though because my luck is shit and I would immediately get caught.

>>681557826
Like plastic boxes.

Not my story but one retold by a friend:
>friend has friends involved in an organized theft ring
>they steal items and bring them to a fence
>fence pays them cash for goods
>friend wants in
>an organizer gives him initiation task to prove he's solid
>friend goes to large shopping mall wearing coveralls and a tool belt
>walks to boat on display for a charity raffle
>climbs into boat and removes stereo in plain view
>brings stereo to fence
>he's in

>>681546024
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hhNwcaEwHI
6 minutes for a civic so that's what...4 centuries for a lambo? You know the plutonic gravinator and all in it...

>>681559063
>charity raffle
who should have given a fuck?

>>681559063
more?

>>681558926
Never had your first friend try to force you to repay him like that other guy said?

>>681558398
No the bike was in my name they made it work idk what they had to do but the title was in my name and I didn't pay taxes on it. I got plates. Insured it. All that good shit. But I paid in cash and didn't sign any paperwork or pay taxes so there was no paper trail for the government to see that I just bought a 45 thousand dollar bike Without any income.

File: fence-panel-picket-fence-6ft-x-3ft-1.8mt-x-0.9mt--11895-p.jpg (41 KB, 600x600) Image search: [Google]

41 KB, 600x600

>>681559063
"You're in"

>>681558926
Why did he get locked up? Based on what you're saying it sounds like a nonviolent offense, or some "Street justice" type stuff.

File: balls.jpg (70 KB, 1024x576) Image search: [Google]

70 KB, 1024x576

>>681558471
im bi stfu. people like you are ruining /b/

>>681559410
hes probably a mass murderer

>>681558793
Typical day is boring. People are loud all the time. People are disrespectful and the guards are ass holes. I just hang out and be lazy. But every so often shit goes bananas.

>>681547685
it would be on the niggers in a more professional contry.
since it's fucking america where people think that job=power=your a badass (dont relize its borrowed power) and think they are the shit.
then oibviosly they use the power against what the job stands for (wtf) to get revange on pysicly and mentaly weak idiot kid.

>broken english and kind of complecated so you brobobly wont understand most of what i wrote.

>>681559626
>>broken english and kind of complecated so you brobobly wont understand most of what i wrote.

did you understand a word of what you wrote?

>>681559384

They can sign the title all day, you wouldn't own it without a transfer form from the DMV. You can insure anything, you can insure other people's cars if you want, they don't check. You can't get plates without the vehicle being registered, so someone would have to register the vehicle and pay taxes on it.

>>681558190
About 8 or 10 years ago The Cadillac dealership on 394 just outside of Minneapolis got cought selling escalades to niggers for 50 grand cash. They charged the salesman and mgr with some financial crimes but dealership is still open with same name. If you want to buy an exspencive car with cash and the salesman is going to make several thousand in commission they will figure out a way.

>>681559404
The sequel to the blockbuster 'OP's Life', 'OP's Friend and The Magic Fence' directed by OP now in cinemas.

Here's a story from a friend who went to prison for a few years

>Small white dude, lets call him A
>A liked to steal shit
>Not for any real benefit, just to steal things
>well known that he's a petty theft
>one day he steals something petty from a group of Mexicans
>Mexicans didn't take too kindly to this
>Be lunch, Mexicans + A both there
>Mexicans start heating up weird concoction of water and shampoo and piss, any kind of liquid they could get
>Microwave that shit for like a half hour
>Sneak up behind A
>Tap A on the shoulder
>A turns around
>BAM
>Face full of searing hot liquid
>Dude flips the fuck out, tries to get it off his face
>Because of the shampoo and the honey and whatnot, it's sticky
>as he's trying to get the boiling hot shit off his face, it's peeling his skin right off his face
>A got his face melted off for some petty theft

My friend says he'll never forget that crazy shit.

>>681560113
picture or it didnt happen

File: 4L_5h5ZBHKn.jpg (73 KB, 500x334) Image search: [Google]

73 KB, 500x334

>>681555231

>>681559282
Nope. Was just a super nice guy.

>>681558471
>Faggots
>People
Pick one, fag.

>>681560524
Such a narrow mentality, I was expecting better from /b.

>>681558955
Yea I loved cars.
>dad bought an old ass shit 72 nova.
>spent two years with him working on it.
>put a blown LS7 in it.
>800hp at the wheels
>no powered steering.
> finally get her running and ready to drive. The next day my dads at work.
>I'm 13 and we plan to take it out when he gets off.
>I can't wait so I start that sum bitch up.
>put it in gear and romp it.
>lose it right away being 13 and dumb.
>smash into neighbors passenger van.
>destroy the front end. Smash radiator into engine. Fuck everything up.
>was hooked on horse power ever since.

More stories op

>>681549913
I wonder what that dumb little shit is doing now after he got out

>>681558859
No idea what a fingerbox is, but these things are usually around 10 gallons. They can be larger, though.

>>681560847
Go back to taking CD pictures and uploading them to Tumblr.

>>681560959
nice car

>>681561193
>not knowing what a fingerbox is
>newfag detected

>>681557394
Did you ever have to fight in prison?

>>681561497
>bait begets bait begets bait begets bait

>>681561291
Sorry man, I didn't want to trigger anybody, also I'm not familiar at all with Tumblr. I saw people making fun of it on /b and that's all my knowledge on this subject.

>>681561692
I know, thread was drying up a little, I got bored.

>>681536054
this. so much this. the /b/ you knew is dead.

>>681561693
Actually I remembered that I found some cool porn pics on Tumblr.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU-BTd70QG8
>This nigger steals Guy Fieri's Lambo at 16 years old like mission impossible
>Gets away with it even bragging about it
>Is a beta faggot who tries to murder the dude his crush is sucking.
>Life in prison

How come mastermind /b/ type faggots always make the dumbest mistakes?

>>681534876
Today, OP was not a fag. Whether the story was invented or not, it still made for a good thread.

>>681561693
Well, you must be new then.