>>bump

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>>681508205
kek so le randum xD

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>>681508722
Shit. I thought this thread was for best ones?

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Not green text but still funny

>>681509100
>why are you posting comments about the thread? you're not allowed to say anything about what's being posted

Ok pal

>found the best song ever
>turns out Hitler listened to it

>>681510031
What's wrong with that?

>>681509286

I'm not your pal, guy.

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>>681510253

>>681510253

I'm not your guy, buddy.

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>>681508549
oi wut

>>681509139
OMFG YES I ONLY HAD PART 1 OF THIS

>>681510383
kekd

>>681507969
good one

>>681509140
naise

>>681508722
fake af

>>681510383
the good ol pineappe fag greentext

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>>681507969
make this historic again.
i haven't keked that hard since the last one.

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Bump

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>>681513093

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>>681510211

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>>681507969
KEK

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ok ill dump too
^1

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>>681513587
^2

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>>681513624
^3

OC

>>681510546
I'm not your body, honey.

>>681510546
I'm not your buddy, pal.

>>681508817
>>681509100
this

>>681513725
Im not your honey frend

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all time favorite

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*1 since the other guy did Blind Girl I'll post deaf girl

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>>681514427
but wait anon, there is more blind girl!

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*2 is it bad that I kinda really like all the soppy love story ones? Eh well have Creppy Girlfriend

>>681510211
I love Greentext with a ending theme

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>wake up at 6pm after a particularly exhausting runescape marathon
>tummy is making hungry noises
>navigate my way out of my room through the piles of weewee jugs and trash
>make my way downstairs,peek into the living room
>mummy and new daddy are doing a special backwards hug on the sofa like uncle phil showed me once
>new daddy is making funny sounds like a steam train
>don't care hungry
>''MUMMY WANT BREKKIE BREK''
>mummy screams,new daddy swears and nearly falls off the sofa like a silly
>says to mommy ''why is that retard still living here,isn't he like 30?''
>i don't like being called a retard
>not since the incident with the toddler in mcdonalds
>feel my inner wolf break loose
>let out a mighty howl and try to rip off my creeper hoodie
>not strong enough in my hunger-weakened state
>new daddy is laughing, i'll fucking show him
>pull down my crusty cargo shorts and grab my tingly tummy tendies
>''GOLDEN WHIRLWING,GO GO GO''
>start spinning like a beyblade and weeing as hard as i can
>mummy is screaming and crying,new daddy swears even louder and tries to grab me
>dodge him with my veteran cs 1.6 reflexes but fall because im dizzy from malnourishment
>new daddy gets me in a headlock and starts punching me in the tummy
>he doesn't know i've been saving a satisfying tendie-and-dew-fuelled doodie for later
>bum explodes like a fat man in fallout 3(i don't play 4 because it doesn't have my waifu moira)
>new daddy is covered in doodie, he looks like a swamp monster
>he lets go and starts vomiting
>mummy is on the phone, i think she's calling 911,new daddy is trying to make her put the phone down and shouting something about ''the meth you dumb bitch''
>crawl to the kitchen, everything is spinning and i feel faint
>''MUMMY MAKE TENDIES!!"i manage to shout before blacking out
>wake up chained to my bed with a plate of tendies on the bedside table
>new daddy is gone
>mfw sucess

>>681514596
WHY DO YOU MAKE ME FEEL?!

>>681514621
do we know what happened to this poor lad?

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>>681515541
Maybe his body is chillin in the murder shed.

*3 I don't have anymore relationship ones on my phone but have some Tard stories

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*4

>>681516137
was gonna ask for this thx

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my fav

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>>681513093
...

>>681507969
How is this supposed to be funny

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can someone else bump for a while, want to read some of the longer greentexts

>>681517937
I have no idea why, but my sides are visiting Saturn.

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>>681518262
because it's funny

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finished reading

have anyone the greentext with a guy who asked a farmer if he shows his dick?

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>>681515254
WAT

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>>681519768
found it myself

>>681520008
i fucking lost.
more.

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1/2

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2/2

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>>681521039
wish i had more tard stories
here's something funny

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>>681521420

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>>681521569

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>>681521364
oh my god.

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>I was only 9 years old
>I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies
>I pray to Shrek every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given
>"Shrek is love" I say; "Shrek is life"
>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Shrek
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
>I'm crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and it's really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It's Shrek
>I am so happy
He whispers into my ear "This is my swamp."
>He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I'm ready
>I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek
>He penetrates my butt-hole
>It hurts so much but I do it for Shrek
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Shrek
>He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love
>My dad walks in
>Shrek looks him straight in the eyes and says "It's all ogre now."
>Shrek leaves through my window
>Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

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>>681522447
hilarious and original!

>>681522447
Shrek is love Shrek is life

>>681522609
>green text thread
>posted a green text
Obviously a fag

>>681522447
Pasta not oc

>>681512760
God damn this one of my favorites. Where's days 1-24??

>>681523137
OC? on my 4chan?
not the guy you replied to

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>>681521364
FUCKING LOST

>>681523969

>Being so autistic that you think this is a ylyl thread

>>681519420
Do you have the part 2? I remember they sending him some tiles pictures and shit. I lost the screenshot long ago

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>>681524379
Well excuse me for being amused by that greentext story.

>>681524734
its lower down

>>681512760
is there more??

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>>681507969

>>681525091
I dont see it

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here's a better version of the smelly farts thread

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I got a tard one for you want more?

>>681526906
fuck im rly curious how his farts smell

>>681527383
moar
ALSO WHAT THE FUCK R THOSE NOTIFICATIONS MAN?

>>681519308
moar like this?

>>681525091
Sorry wrong post, I meant to reply >>681519420
Anyway I saw it now, thank you !

Why can't I post a tard one?

>>681507969
>>>681527383
>moar
>ALSO WHAT THE FUCK R THOSE NOTIFICATIONS MAN?
I don't clear them

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Does anyone have the Roemer tard stories? I've fucking lost my copy of it, and it's my fave.

>>681528364
Y THE FUCK NOT?
CLEAR UR FUCKING NOTIFICATIONS

You asked so I deliver!

Short but funny

> middle school
> taking test
> finished
> I hear a yell
> is it downie?
> other bus tard that I hate?
> start to analyze the yelling
> tard I hate from the bus
> fuck
> people start noticing
> people talking
> wranglers get him

That is that. I should have said he is on my bus. Bonus one.
> tell my freind I'm on the tard bus
> he asks who is on it
> tell him about them
> he knew about the tards
> I was was the bus with the "Popular" tards

>>681528829
Took 30 seconds to google bro

>>681529333
Thanks, and chiggedy.

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Roemer Saga

A lot of my tard encounters from the stories are similar
Here is another one
> yelling kids from last one gets in bus
> sits where another kid supposed to sit
> tell him to move with my bus driver helping me
> in the fighting of this the kid gets on
> tard moves to his tard seat
> happened many days
> me and my bus driver were good buddy's

>>681511236
Gimme part 1 plspls

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>>681507969
kek

Here is a memorable one
> September when school starts
> all the tards slowly get on
> me ADHD downie and autist from last one in the bus
> person from last one refusing to sit down is near the bus
> refuses to get on
> goes on for a bit
> crossing guard wants him on
> everyone pissed
> he gets on
> refuses to sit
> we need to make him sit
> bus driver seats him
> he is sat down
> go home
> bus driver gets to next school late
> I'm home late
I hated the bus

How are they?

>>681529330
>>681530090
>>681530906
gtfo faggot

Want more?

>>681522680
is there more?

>>681523969
Lost what faggot

>>681524379
this is a ylyl retard

Mimi is being a ass right now

>>681529555
>>681529333
Checked

>>681531606
it's already been posted >>681521569

>>681513587
Cringe

>>681513662
>OC
>2015

>>681508582
is there a actual video about that, made and cut by some freak or just complete pasta?

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>>681532214
shit, I don't have the first part

>>681507969
kinda weak tbh

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>>681508826

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http://imgur.com/gallery/OH1lW

this is one of the best

Autisitmo story
> autist gets on the bus every morning
> talks with the bus driver showing him cheap stuff
> I eat breakfast at school
> makes us a little late
> then he goes to sit down
> asks me crap
> starts saying stuff about how he is not human and he has a clone named him and is sick
> says bus driver is the cure
> he called himself a white ninja
> goes on every morning
> one day he got a watch
> plays some shitty tune
> sleeps on the bus with it
> Still plays
God I hate the bus

>>681514596
>Playing Marco Polo with the dog

Lost

>>681518874
the icing on the cake is the little laser pointer that he painted in the image

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>>681519308
Lost hard

>>681532266
fuck, I lol'd

>>681509258
No it isn't you fucking faggot.

Can someone compile the tard stories?

>>681524379
>Being this much of a newfag

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My favourite

I <3 greentext

>>681508826
Never had a boner quite like this

>>681514365
I'm not your friend, m8

Can anyone get me the pooper one?

>>681529330
Shut up tard

>>681531752
i have a little sister/Gretel fetish.
this story now has changed my life.
it will never be the innocent incest adventure i've fapped to so fucking many times my balls twitch in the sack at the thought.