Please state the nature of your medical emergency.
>>681400761
My cock is too small
>>681400761
my leg broke off guys
>>681400928
>>681401044
I'm not sure a tricorder is going to be enough...
>>681400761
I am experiencing an erection lasting longer than four hours...
>>681400761
food poisoning :(
>>681401218
Can you and 7 of 9 get some type of cybernetic cock implant in the works?
My penis is too feminine.
>>681400761
>>681400761
I have aids but for some reason its completely isolated in the head of my wee wee,
>>681401815
I don't think the captain would approve....
>>681402083
That's just eczema.
>>681400761
I used Nair on my privates and now my anus burns.
>>681402488
>Overweight by about 50 pounds
>Aspergers Syndrome
>Low Self-Esteem
>Crippling Social Anxiety
Can you fix me?
>>681402488
"hang on a sec doc I gotta take care of something real quick."
*walks out*
*enters new room*
"Fuck off space niggers, we're full."
Hey doc, what's your name?
>>681402488
I have a crack in my butt.
>>681400761
oh lord another one. At least Data had a penis
>>681402083
is this real lmao
>>681402999
First thing they did was kidnap Tasha Yar, a white woman...
>>681403177
Oh, so you've moved on from shacking up with Picard to full-blown androids eh? Or was that Bev?
>>681403360
Yar is a space cop. She assaulted them when they dun nuffin. She got off light
>>681400761
I ACCIDENTALLY AN ENTIRE COKE BOTTLE
IS THIS BAD?
>>681400761
Computer deactivate EMH and decompile the EMH and ECH holomatricies override safety precations Janeway-8-4-1-Alpha-6-5
>>681403691
Oh, Sonya, how have you been?
>>681403360
Which is fucking hilarious.
Let's face it, as much as I loved the man for what he gave us, he was the 60's-90's equivalent of a SJW. You would think he would have spotted that in the script and changed it. But nope. Apparently even hippies hate niggers.
Something hit me earlier, I'm not sure how bad it is because I think I went blind or somethin'. What's wrong with me doc?
>>681403653
Yet she still got killed by a nigga
>>681403177
The most hated character on star trek?
Damn, it's either her or Sisko. (and avery brooks, fucking whiny nigger)
>>681402204
Fuggin Janeway.
Picard knew how to party, i know he'd approve.
>>681403973
that was a mudslime
>>681403653
I loved her. She's not my first choice for space lovin, but she didn't have time for anyones shit. kek.
>>681404056
>>681400761
PT presents with diaphoresis, convulsions, BP 90/68, confusion, vomiting, severe hemmoraghing, 12-lead EKG indicates ST Elevation Myocardial Infarction, and patient is prescribed nitroglycerin. Wat do?
>>681404085
A nigger mud slime.
>>681403973
OH god, it just keeps getting funnier. My head hurts, I need to lie down.
>>681404206
>>681400761
Sarah Silverman:
AND YOUUUU...YOU MR "LEISURE SUIT"
The Doc:
Well, there's a name I hadn't considered
>>681404052
Come Watson. I need to uncover the truth of this faggotry
>>681403653
You dun goofed!
>>681404294
run away, cause he's full of nitroglycerin he's gonna explode
>>681404638
Man was she hot...
>tfw Tom Parris was about to pull a Stephen Fry and become his own grandfather.
>>681404638
>>681404881
>Phillip Fry**
>>681404881
that would have been great for another episode
turns out Sarah Silverman is one of those lowcrawlers lurking in the lower decks
>>681405002
Set phasers to velour!
I have an infection in my penis that made it swell up from 5 inches to over 8 inches
Am i in the right place
>>681405348
You have the Farang. That's what you get for having coitus with those aliens.
>>681405348
nothing one of my Talaxian Leola Root remedies couldn't cure
now roll up your arm and bend over
>>681405441
Ha!
>>681405662
by the way, i slept with Kess, so she will need to be treated to, along with 7 of 9, the captain, and a few other female crewmen
MY DICK FELL OFF
>>681405662
Fuck your Leola Root!
>>681406005
Oh for the love of--Computer! Locate this ensign's dick.
>That ensign's penis is not aboard this vessel.
Well, I hope you enjoy the rest of this journey as a woman. We're not going on an away mission for your missing penis.
>>681405874
>>681405874
I wouldnt brag about that. She's a crazy drunk flashing Naomi Wildman
>>681405662
>>681406184
>>681406322
oh hello Mr Vulcan
we're going to do some SINGING---gaaajk
>>681400761
I had sex with a Klingon, my everything hurts....
>>681400761
>Please state the nature of THE medical emergency.
>>681406215
>>681403317
no this is a character named francis. look up boogie2988
>>681406443
QAPLAH
>>681406005
report to the surgical bay for sex reassignment, there are too many male crewmen and not enough female crewman to go around
>>681400761
If there were some sort of pedestrian medical emergency, I might be slightly less bored than I am now, which is exceedingly.
>>681406316
There once was a lady from Venus
Who's body was shaped like a penis
When First Contact was made
The crew were dismayed
When she told them her species and genus
>>681406316
That's okay, Naomi Wildman got super hot.
I can't see a goddamn thing, doc!
>>681406443
Sounds like you had GOOD sex, then.
>>681406487
We went from oculus rift doctors, to space niggers, where da white women at, space niggers lives matter, robot penises, odd sex, stds, gay sex, gay sex with androids, and now we are at transsexuals.
Never change /b/
>>681406940
>>681406953
I never said it was bad, I just left in pieces....the fuck is wrong with you crazy bitches?
>>681407215
no...
>>681407069
>>681407215
bruh....
>>681407347
>>681407317
>681407317
>>681407215
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spaceballs#Cast its him
>>681406953
Seven of Nine: There is no one on deck nine, section twelve, who *doesn't* know when you're having intimate relations.
>>681407570
wow
>>681404294
Feed him 500cc of viagra STAT. GET THAT NIGGA HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH
>>681400761
I'm really depressed, doc. A bunch of fucking terrorists killed all my friends while they were at work. My boss is an abusive dick and he's trying to bring his shitbag son on board too.
All that, and I can't shoot the fucking broad side of a barn. Help, doc.
They see Worf's penis.
>>681406618
The suits are red so you don't see all the blood.
>>681407895
>>681407623
>implying Jeri Ryan is in any position to be talking about other people's sexual escapades
>>681407961
what you need is some good old fashioned aggression therapy.
got find a fluffy pony or a tribble, and torture the fck out of it pretending that it is your boss or other people
>>681407895
Spice!
>>681408064
i came here to party, now lube up the space chicken and GET READY.
>>681408238
>tribble
>dick sleeve
>>681407895
Fucking lost.
>>681408409
Let's do this!
>>681400761
I got my dick stuck in a Venus flytrap.
>>681407961
>out in the waiting room
>they wait for storm trooper to go in to see doc
>they start talking as soon as he's gone.
https://youtu.be/dGOVbXF7Iog?t=31
>>681408693
>>681404294
Call the family, call the morgue, and free up a bed. That nigga is toast.
>>681408524
Tribbles!
>>681408693
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tn0zr04AO3k
>>681408693
FORWARD PHASERS TARGET THOSE TITTIES AND FIRE!!
>>681408409
Dressed for the occasion
>>681408693
wargharbl :(
>>681409436
>>681409579
>>681409579
You and I both know riker would...
>>681409853
You're... quite right. Let's do this. Bring the space chicken and a dick sleeve.
>>681409807
>>681409807
>>681409844
oh jew!
>>681406972
oh...shit...I expected...that from Sulu...but...
>>681409977
At least Riker never fucked a space lizard like what's his name from enterprise.
>>681410032
alright, who wants a moustache ride!?
>>681410059
Muh shekels!
>>681409807
>>681410196
I do!
>>681410142
Some times you get tired of jerking it in your bunk, and you gotta pull over at the space truck stop, and call out on the space CB for a space lizard who will suck your dick for 20 space dollars.
Sometimes, the space cops run them off, so you gotta decide if a blow job from a space faggot is gay if it's free.
>>681403691
What, the whole bottle?!
>>681410507
i know you want it. BUT YOU GOTTA DIE!
>>681410196
ich auch!
>>681406618
in some single sex starships crew have been known to spontaneously change sex from male to female in a single sex environment
Does anyone have a link to cola chan? It's like her vid was deleted from the whole internet!
>>681410923
engage
>>681400761
My teapot keeps telling me to kill the crew. What do I do?
>>681411367
I dunno, best do what it says....
>>681409807
moar!
>>681411811
>>681411811
http://www.celebritymoviearchive.com/tour/name.php/349
>>681411811
Workout!
i'VE GOT PHOTONS IN MY EYES!
lol a voyager reference? How old are you, a wizard? Just kill yourself.
-a mellenial
>>681412426
>>681412558
>>681404052
>implying sisko was a whiny bitch
>forgetting about when he used biological weapons against the maquis
>forgetting about how he basically hired Garak to assassinate a Romulan senator
>mfw
>>681412558
Back in our day (90's kids) we would lure faggots like you outside to play smear the queer, and throw the ball to no one but you so we could beat your fucking ass and you wouldn't run away because you are so happy that someone invited you out to play.
Then when it got dark, we would go nigger knocking, get you lost and send you up to the door and bail.
Now a days you fucking faggots cry about bullying, boohoohoo. Don't be a faggot and people will like you.
>>681413145
>>681413145
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lHgbbM9pu4&
>>681413145
truth. "In the Pale Moonlight" = classic episode and Sisko was badass.
>>681413145
Q!
>>681413145
>pilot
>=whiny bitch
Protip, you can't win this one.
https://vimeo.com/116380052
Next up, whining about racism on earth in the past, when it was over 9000 percent irrelevant to the series.
>>681413427
>forgetting to include this in my last post
>>681413145
Bad ass
>>681413750
See? Even Q lets niggers get away with shit!
>>681413145
Truth!
>>681413145
>>681413587
Best Captain
>>681404294
Hmmoraghing and an infarction o.O stroke, cant use dilaters or blood thinners, hes dead
>>681413145
>Sisko was a great captain
he sure was
>>681414397
I'd just like to pause and have us all acknowledge that Weyoun was one of the greatest Trek characters ever.
>>681407347
is dat Shae from GoT?
>>681415266
>>681415266
>weyoun
>greatest character
Close. I'd say second best.
We all know who the real greatest character is.
>>681415771
Any thought of a TNG reboot makes you think Data would be a hard recast, but don't you think this would seriously work?
>>681400761
the emergency is that i like this girl, and my erection comes out when i talk to her and she looks at it then walks away.
>>681416195
or Michael Fassbender? he already did a soulless robot guy in Prometheus.
>>681415771
>>681415266
Fuck you both.
If you don't say Q you are a moron. End of story.
If you watch the TNG pilot and finale closely, you will learn that the whole series was about him testing mankind. The trial on the way to farpoint was in recess for 7 seasons.
His addition into other shows was an afterthought, and fan service. Not that we didn't appreciate the thought, but I take that canon less seriously as the TNG canon.
>>681416401
If she's not laughing when she walks away, you'll need this medical clearance to engage in sexual jntercourse with an alien species. Make sure to get the Captain's approval too.
>>681416416
hmm yeah I could see that
>>681416195
He's dead, Jim
>>681415771
>>681415771
i second Garak as best character
>>681416806
Bashir and Khan in a fight. What happens?
GO!
>>681416806
she smiles the way jadzia dax looks at julian
...I love Janeway.
>>681417025
Kirk gets aroused and has sex with them both.
>>681415771
my 2 favorit quotes
"Truth is in the eye of the beholder, Doctor. I never tell the truth because I don't believe there is such a thing. That is why I prefer the straight line simplicity of cutting cloth."
"Of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't?" "My dear Doctor, they're all true." "Even the lies?" "Especially the lies."
>>681417023
Quark and Dukat are good contenders.
I'll come out and say that Dukat was the best (or at least most entertaining) villain in Star Trek.
Just the right balance of Charm and Megalomania.
>>681416539
>implying Q was a character.
Bro, Geordi's pet Borg Hugh was a more interesting character than Q was.
Now Brunt, Zek, Weyoun, Garak, That fucking missile B'elanna programmed to blow up the Cardassians, fucking Dukat, fuck man, even Wesley fucking Crusher. These were all better characters than Q.
>>681417147
Then cram it in her baby factory you fucking sissy.
>>681402845
I can be your friend
>>681417515
Wanna come outside and play smear the queer with us? Hurry up and go ask your mom.
>>681417025
Ricardo MontalKhan, or Benedict Khanberbatch? There is a difference.
>>681417703
should i get her drunk first or just bend her over the copy machine?
>>681417703
diamonds
>>681418448
>Benedict Khanberbatch
Who?
>JJ "jewboy" Abrams does not exist. Therefore someone who doesn't exist cannot possibly have casted a faggot to play a legendary character.
There is only one Khan, and if you disagree, I will fight you.
>>681419444
worst character ever she was a constant bitch for no reason
>>681419562
Nah, Winn is the worst.
>>681419562
are you me?
>>681419562
No one ever likes her, but I absolutely ADORE Kira.
>>681415771
Totally agree that Garek is tops as well.
"...Think of them both as tragic victims of war."
I have a fever, and I think Black Men can only cure me. Please leave OP. Your micro-penis just won't do.
>>681417218
Janeway was much more tolerable after 7 of 9 came on board. She became a real character instead of just an irritating shrill harpy captain placeholder.
>>681419399
Oh no anon, I was just making sure you understood the fact that there was only one true Khan.
Thank you for not being a faggot tonight.
Also, to answer the original question... Khan. End of discussion.
>>681420942
Did we just become best friends?
Also don't forgot that the dear Doc was genetically altered himself.
>>681420909
The best captain in the entirety of Voyager is a tie between Annorex and Ransom.
Prove me wrong... if you can.
... the Devore inspector was pretty cool too.
>>681421187
Sure he was... but not as good as Khan was.
Bashir's dothead daddy just didn't want him to be a fucking dunce. Khan was a work of art.