how far in advance did you know about this?

>>681311994
You sound so fucking underage. Also cranberry juice, drink a gallon of that.

I know this sounds weird but drink as much hot sauce as you can. The hotter the better. I'm serious. The capsaicin molecules look like the THC and prevent the receptor from binding. My bro did this for an internship and it worked.

>>681312243
As much I would like to give you a fucking scan of my birth certificate I dont feel like divulging that information.

I'm in college. its my junior year. and cranberry juice doesnt do shit you should know that.

>>681312152
not long enough to cleanse for it.

>>681311994
Oil change is the only way. Diluting wont work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aV6LwUMQQ0

>>681311994
If can get a 3 liters of fresh milk whey and drink it (like the watery by product of cheese)
I heard from a trucker cousin that works

>>681312363
>junior college

>>681312308
thc is stored in the fat, gets burned with the fat, moves to the blood, moves to the urine.

how is hotsauce going to prevent the thc in my urine from being analyzed, or present at all?

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>>681311994
superglue your peepee hole.

>>681312544
Dubs confirms it

>>681312487
Are they going to cut out some of your fat? No dude. You piss in the cup and the THC in your urine binds the antibodies in an immunoassay. Interfere with that binding event and you can fake out the assay.
l2science
guess youre a liberal arts major
or just fail the drug test, i couldnt care less

>>681312599
engineering major, not organic science.

all I needed was more information. I cant exactly find reputable sources for this on google. They're clogged with ads for urine cleansers and shit I can't even afford.

Everyone whose been in your situation and successfully passed a drug test will tell you that there is only one viable option.

Oil Change.

>>681312599
How much hotsauce would you recommend?

>>681312759
clock is ticking bro. Trust me. hotsauce.
http://norml.org/marijuana/drug-testing/item/the-abcs-of-marijuana-and-drug-testing

If it's a lab test and you decided to drink a gallon of water the sample will be diluted. Which in most cases counts as a fail.

>>681312892
Seriously as much as you can take. I guess it really depends on your personal balance between liking hot sauce versus how bad it will be if you fail this drug test.

>>681312909
that is not the plan. certo method involves fruit pectin, gatorade, a b2 tablet all 3 hours before the test. the tablet is taken 1 hour before the test.

>>681311994
cateter and someone elses urina, easy peasy

>>681311994
Film yourself chugging a bottle of Tabasco

>>681313002
I would recommend the substitution method. Fake pos had never failed me.

>>681313232
Not an option.

Last time I got high was about a month ago, and I've got a drug test a month from now.
Am I in the clear?

>>681313287
Well. Have fun failing.

>>681313305
50/50. I would start drinking hot sauce.

>>681313386
Please post results!

>>681313305
this is not OP

>>681312243
/thread

>>681313640
Except for the fact that cranberry juice will not aid in this endeavor

>>681311994
do you have access to coconut water? if so,drink it

>>681313799
I have almond milk

Ok I'm at work so I'll make this quick. All that matters is what you piss at the time. 4 hours before start slamming water till you're pissing clear every 20 mins or less. Then back down and just keep drinking water to maintain clear urine and frequent pissing. Next when your on your way to the test. Stop and get a couple bottles of cranberry juice. They will put some color back in your urine. Right before you get there find some place to stop and piss again. Now the piss accumulating in your bladder has only been there a short time and hasn't had an opportunity to soak up much. When you get there ask to go ahead and take it. Tell them in a light hearted way these things make you so nervous and you have been drinking coffee and Gatorade all day to try to make sure you really had to go when you got there and apparently it worked. This will explain away the light color right away cause your well hydrated. When you get in there you want the middle stream. Not the beginning. So piss for a couple seconds, stop, piss in the cup, and then finish in the toilet. Only give them minimum amount. If done correctly you will pass every single time cause the urine is to diluted and has been in your bladder too little time. Source: I have smoked every day for 15 years and never failed a one piss test including one I took for the military, and a police dept.

>>681314393
I will try this. Thank you for your time.

>>681314393
I can't believe you dumbass dopers think this works. They will fail you because you piss too clean. They know why that happens. We don't hire people at work for that reason all the time. How about just not doing dope, losers?

>>681315065
b12, plenty of protein already in my system.
I don't plan on diluting it as much as this person advises. Just enough.

>>681315065
When I say they, I mean the labs. They've seen it all. You can't bullshit them.

>>681315065
Your right, the dept of defense and a state police dept would never buy this. Maybe I was just stuck in the matrix somewhere. GTFO with that shit. The majority of piss test are done on strips that don't show any of that info. If it's going thru a machine an being scanned you may have a little more trouble but a properly hydrated person is supposed to have very pale piss to begin with. Sooo they can fault you for being healthy?

Does anyone have any input on the crystalline vitamin C method?

>>681315349
It's not a case of being healthy. The labs know why you tested so clean; you were trying to dilute yourself with water because you would have tested positive otherwise, so that alone fails you. And that strips bullshit is nonsense. No company uses that. It's piss in the cup, and sample to the lab. A real lab that testes it conclusively.

>>681315656
To add input into my (OP) situation
I'm currently sick. I've been trying to stay hydrated for the past week.

>>681315742
The problem is, the water cleans everything from your system, even the normal crap and toxins than should be there. No one drinks a gallon of water in a couple hours.

>>681316034
I. am not. drinking. a gallon. of water.
I believe thats been stated numerous times.

>>681316151
Then the drugs will probably still be in your system. A week or more is what it takes normally to not come up positive. If the job isn't good enough to get you to stop for a week, why bother?

>>681316445
stop assuming.

>>681316151
Too much water too fast can be fatal. It causes the brain to swell.

>>681311994
What drugs have you taken?

>>681316812
weed (former perscription, moved to a place where its illegal) but i also know that naproxen can cause a false positive for thc and ive had a script for that for awhile now

>>681311994
Drinking anything won't work. Diluted piss comes back "Negative-Dilute" on the test and you fail and have to take it again if you're lucky. Been there, done that. Urine Luck works unless they actually watch you whip it out (not likely if just a work related drug test).

>>681312599
>i couldnt care less
You mean I COULD care less.
I guess you're a STEM major. Or just fail the English test, I could care less.

Your only real solution is to drink a lot of water. Don't work out or do any activity. Don't give them the beginning or end of your stream. Good luck. I've only passed dip stick tests. Lab tests is a crap shoot.

>>681317335
Oh and take vitamin c and b to give your piss color.

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what about this?

>>681315656
Well I have a job making 80k a year and I pissed on a strip. OP what kinda job is this. If it's a strip test this will work 9/10 times. Army and state police used a strip test on me so I don't know what kinda job you're getting that's gonna require it go thru a lab. You know for sure it's piss right? Cause a hair test has no minimum cut off for weed and it's very hard to give an accurate cut off. Especially if your hair is lighter and more fine. If you're a nigger you're just fucked

>>681311994
Drink a lot of coffee, you'll poss like a race horse

>>681316913
How much, frequency, last time you smoked.

>>681318386
not a job, I said not to assume didn't I?

i failed a saliva test because i didnt have any spit (side effect of adderal script) they said they may be doing urine because of this but I dont know for sure whats going to happen. All of this advise is a precautionary measure to ensure that if they do, I have some chance of passing.

>>681318718
4/20 I wanted to quit but my fucking loser of a roommate wouldnt stop whining about it
prior to that next to nothing from the previous 2 weeks

Get in a sauna and sweat it out. Or exercise with sweatshirts on. Sweating actually gets shit out of you. Flushing your kidneys does nothing. Your first piss of the day has the most shit in it because your body detoxifies while you sleep. Start sweating. Also will the drug test be sent to a lab or will it be tested on site? If is on site take vitamin b12 it will make you pee yellow. Then drink lots of water. You will pee yellow clean water. Drink redbulls to keep nyour creatine up so it isn't diluted.

>>681320391
im a college student.
what the fuck makes you think i can afford to go to a sauna ?

>>681311994
There is a drink at GNC you drink before the test and you pass. Go get it.

>>681320595
please see>>681320565

>>681321078
Your pretty fucking dumb for a college student if you can't hustle up 20 bucks or get into a gym for free as a college student or as someone's guest.

>>681321368
the gym here does not have a sauna, I dont profit of others, and being active would just burn for fat and release thc into my blood, then into my urine.

you're pretty fucking dumb for suggesting this

Drink a magnum detox drink. You can get it at a good head shop.

>>681321768
i am broke. there are no headshops here.

>>681312810
Wtf does that mean?

I hope op gets caught for being a degenerate

>>681311994
Why can't you borrow piss? They have kits that even keep it at body temp to beat that test too.

>>681313305
depends if you smoked a lot before that

>>681322409
im broke and dont know the conditions for the test. it may be observed, it may not be.

>>681322072
> claims poverty
> does drugs

>>681318872
You literally couldn't say no. You are one weak willed faggot.

>>681322544
because i had spending money then doesnt mean i have it all the time.

>>681318802
>not a job, I said not to assume didn't I?

Don't be a jerk you degenerate

>>681322939
Learn2budget you cunt

The best way is find someone with clean piss and to sneak it in, usually with a fake dong.
The next best way is to chug a shitload of water. But put a berocca in every one. Take a multivitamin 9 and six hours before test then one 90 minutes before. This will give it colour and dilute it. However the creatinine levels will be to low and you will fail for diluted urine.
As soon as possible get the bodybuilding supplement creatine. Plow into that shit, wont do your kidneys any good but one day probably wont kill you. Aim for a teaspoon per liter of water. This will put you mid range for creatinine which is the metabolite for creatine. Pass all the time doing this. If they check other metabolites for dilution you are boned.

>>681323060
you have no idea the intricacies of my financial situation, the amount of money in my savings, or what I actually spend my money on.

stop assuming for the sake of an argument and either advise help on passing the test or leave.

>>681323114
i have plenty of meat in my diet for creatine levels.

oil change only way.. obviously dont do any more drugs in meantime faggot

>>681323129
>intricacies of my financial situation

Look at this anon. He's a hedge fund manager.
You're so pathetic dude, you really are.

>>681323429
Wtf is that?

>>681323196
That won't be nearly enough. A teaspoon of creatine mono has the creatine of about 2kg of steak. The water will wash too much of it out.

>>681323840
well. i dont have money for creatine hopefuly i can delay this test and get some. I've been working out this past month anyways so a little boost wouldnt hurt

>>681317104
You're either a troll or an idiot. My bets on both

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Nurse fag here. I administer piss tests often. How much did you smoke for how long and when was the last time you smoked?

Also start drinking cranberry juice and take vitamin b12.

>>681324168
i dont have cranberry juice ffs people please read the thread.
i have b12, i have water and coconut/almond milk

I havent smoked in 6 days, prior to that it was 7 days clean
before that regular use as this was a script.

>>681314393
This works, used to work in a refinery and some old fat guy did this everytime we had a random and it worked

Have your clean friend piss into your asshole.

>>681324951
if one of you motherfuckers actually gives me some concrete advice for passing while still rolling dirty I will do this, film it, show my face, state ID, and upload it frequently to every porn site there is

assuming i pass that is

>>681324265
>6 days
Why the fuck are you worried, follow the rest of his advice minus the cranberry juice. I know people who have smoked the same day and passed piss tests like that.

>>681325323
I have anxiety disorders up the ass man.
You tell me I have an appointment and i freak out.

>>681325323
What do you mean by "like that"
you mean certo, gatorade and b12?

Fuck you all fooling this kid with bro science. What the fuck is this, bodybuildingforums?

Chances are it's not going to be a urine test. They might do a blood test, swab or hair

Also, ELABORATE: what does it mean it's not an option? Are you so positive they're going to fail you're not even giving it a thought?

Or is it that you can't afford it/have nowhere to get it

Or do literally all people you hang out with smoke on a daily basis and your town doesn't have hobos who can't afford weed but would gladly take a nice bottle of cheap wine for some his piss?

>>681325855
if you read the thread you would understand.
I dont know the conditions of the test because 2 weeks ago when they gave me a swab I didnt have enough saliva

Its not an option because i dont know if i will be observed during or searched prior.

I also have no money to spend on frivolous shit that may not work

>>681324265
“For occasional marijuana use (or single event usage), at the 50 ng/mL cutoff level, it would be unusual for the detection of cannabinoids in urine to extend beyond 3-4 days following the smoking episode.”

>>681311994
If it's just pot drip a few drops of original visine in your piss...

>>681312308
>>681312308
>I know this sounds weird but drink as much hot sauce as you can. The hotter the better. I'm serious. The capsaicin molecules look like the THC and prevent the receptor from binding. My bro did this for an internship and it worked.

That's not how that shit works. At all.

>>681326397
thats as old as the bleach trick it wont work

>>681311994
there's literally nothing you can do. you're fucked.

>>681312484
Junior in college retard

>>681311994
take water from the toilet put it in the cup and pee just enough to give it some color

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>>681327199
>>681327888

>dubs
>trips

quad pls?

How much were you actually smoking daily or weekly? More or less than a gram per day? Eighth a week? Quarter a month?

>>681328035
2 grams over the course of 2 weeks is how i usually did it

>asks for help
>describes a scenario in which no proven method will work
>asks for home remedies
>complains at every suggestion for being an unproven home remedy

op you are literally retarded just grin your awful down syndrome grin and they'll let you pass out of sympathy