I take a peak into the labyrinth

>>681260087
>EDIT: All players enter the arena separately and only the first 6 players who enter can play

>>681260087
Dongus the WIZARD ready to enter your magical realm. None shall pass unpissed

>>681260542
nigga u dont even have a character
Read Da Rules

>>681260656
K. Establish Weapons and abilities and ur good.

>>681260697
thats my secret capitan
i am a character

>>681261083
K well wat r ur weapons n abilities nigger nogger

>>681260773
Dongus has
Staff of staves +3
Ring of the overflowing bladder
Robes of disrobing

Powers
Ray of steaming urine
Charm other
Summon elemental urine
Greater Creation urine domain

>>681261279
>kek

You approach the arena to see 3 possible entryways: one shrouded in foliage, another a door barred shut by a wood bar, and another which seems to just be an empty doorway.
Wat do?

>>681260087
Cyber niga up in this ho, im watchin jojo so ill join later kk

>>681261610
Dongus shall
Enrobe in robes of robes disrobing
Ready staff of staves
Take long leak thanks to overflowing bladder
Use new urine pool as material competent for summon elemental urine.
Have newly summoned urine elemental scout the foliage entry.
Think about bathing in the in elemental.

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>>681261836

Deto the Poonslayer.
Weapons: +2 Sword of excruciating pleasure, a pokeball containing a level 100 Alakazam, +3 Shield of vampiric thorns.
Abilities: Giant's Strength, Nulify Magic (25ft cone), Superior Flight (100ft per round any direction), Cosmic libido.

>>681262098
The scout seems to have found the entry to be clear, but is soon slammed by a battering ram which was hidden behind the foliage. The entry is now safe due to the booby trap being already triggered. Wat do?

>>681262402
Cry salty yellow tears for my fallen comrade.
Advance to the battering ram.
Check for sign of my comrade Deto the Poonslayer

>>681262242
K. You come to the wall of the arena but no doors. The arena walls are covered with vines and divets in the bricks, making it easily climbable. However, you also see some motion coming from atop the wall. Wat do?

>>681260087
If what's always distinguished bad writing--flat characters, a narrative world that's clichéd and not recognizably human, etc.--is also a description of today's world, then bad writing becomes an ingenious mimesis of a bad world. If readers simply believe the world is stupid and shallow and mean, then [Bret] Ellis can write a mean shallow stupid novel that becomes a mordant deadpan commentary on the badness of everything. Look man, we'd probably most of us agree that these are dark times, and stupid ones, but do we need fiction that does nothing but dramatize how dark and stupid everything is? In dark times, the definition of good art would seem to be art that locates and applies CPR to those elements of what's human and magical that still live and glow despite the times' darkness. Really good fiction could have as dark a worldview as it wished, but it'd find a way both to depict this world and to illuminate the possibilities for being alive and human in it.

Postmodern irony and cynicism's become an end in itself, a measure of hip sophistication and literary savvy. Few artists dare to try to talk about ways of working toward redeeming what's wrong, because they'll look sentimental and naive to all the weary ironists. Irony's gone from liberating to enslaving. There's some great essay somewhere that has a line about irony being the song of the prisoner who's come to love his cage… The postmodern founders' patricidal work was great, but patricide produces orphans, and no amount of revelry can make up for the fact that writers my age have been literary orphans throughout our formative years.

>>681262904
We enter a spiritual puberty where we snap to the fact that the great transcendent horror is loneliness, excluded encagement in the self. Once we’ve hit this age, we will now give or take anything, wear any mask, to fit, be part-of, not be Alone, we young. The U.S. arts are our guide to inclusion. A how-to. We are shown how to fashion masks of ennui and jaded irony at a young age where the face is fictile enough to assume the shape of whatever it wears. And then it’s stuck there, the weary cynicism that saves us from gooey sentiment and unsophisticated naïveté. Sentiment equals naïveté on this continent.

You burn with hunger for food that does not exist.

A U. S. of modern A. where the State is not a team or a code, but a sort of sloppy intersection of desires and fears, where the only public consensus a boy must surrender to is the acknowledged primacy of straight-line pursuing this flat and short-sighted idea of personal happiness.

>>681262708
Your roll of 8 recovers no sign of Deto the Poonslayer. However inside the entryway you see an intersecting hallway. To your right you see a dark, menacing hallway. To your left, a path covered with ash and still warm charcoal. Wat do?

>>681262904
>>681263011
Nice copypasta, faggot

>>681263072
check temperature of charcoal please describe in terms of urine
have my staff of staves produce a stave.
use ten foot stave to check for traps.

Now comes the defendant, Saul Goodman. Rogue. Wearing a bright orange silk suit, rainbow colored tie and expensive polished shoes.

Main hand - a briefcase containing dozens of preform legal documents and a box of fine point pens. (+10 to all rolls against minorities)

Offhand - Cell phone (one time use function; activates ability "GTFO")

Abilities:
1. GTFO - activate speed dial on phone; calls vaccuum repair shop guy to vanish me from other players sight.

2. Smooth talker - Charms other players to fight on behalf of Saul.

3. Pickpocket - Self explainatory

4. Tempoary insanity - Saul enrages for the next three turns, gains advantage on all rolls and is not responsible for his actions.

Deto the Poonslayer will fly toward movement, sword and shield in hand. I roll for initiative.

>>681263333
The staff does not detect any traps. Charcoal is about as warm as that piss you take when you wake up in the morning with a hard-on. Wat do?

I will be the almighty chaos knight with his trusty steed Armageddon.
I will have entropic battle gear
I will have chaos strike
Reality rift
Phantasm
And my passive will be a 75% critical hit

>>681263428
You come across a giant drawbridge guarded by two goblins. Each goblin has a lantern dangling over their head to illuminate the bridge. Wat do?

>>681263724
Advance slowly down charcoal hallway. If coals become to hot piss on them to cool them...try not to get distracted by standing in my own piss

>>681263437
You find the climb up the wall rather difficult with your sword and shield in your hands. You fall and take some retardation damage. Wat do?

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Crom has returned Kremgor the barbarian to the battlefield. Kremgor is consumed by croms thirst for blood.

weapons: battle ax-3 attack, two throwing knives, each 2 attack, my mits- 3 attack

ability: stealth, insta kill on dubs, stronger when hit.

Kremgor searches for victims. Kremgor ready for battle!

>>681260087
The chaos knight and his trusty steed Armageddon enter the arena.

>>681263993
The coals become slowly hotter as you progress, but your roll of 93 piss quenches the flames. You see a large gaping hole in the brick wall at the end of the hall, in it even more charcoal and an ominous feeling of dread. Wat do?

>>681263928
I try to bribe the goblins to follow me and protect me on my journey. I offer them 100 dollars each and a gnomeish porno magazine.

>>681264160
>>681263871
K. You come across a skeletal warrior wielding a scimitar and viking helmet in the arena. Wat do?

>>681264296
Dongus
Summon composite ash/piss elemental have it scout the hole. Wonder about my spell slots per day and then shrug. Ready action to stream of steaming urine any hostiles that emerge from the hole.

>>681264375
Your bribe more than entices the goblins as they are successfully persuaded. You continue forward into a dark mysterious hallway. Wat do?

>>681264060
But Deto the Poonslayer possesses the ability of superior flight?

>>681264707
Flight is altered by the aerodynamics of sword and shield due to your 37 roll.

>>681264472
I use chaos bolt to stun my opponent
3 second stun
Use reality rift to get extra hit damage
Attack the target
Dies
I continue without a scratch

>>681264615
I have one goblin walk ten meters ahead of me and the other follow directly behind me. We all proceed down the hallway. I pull a pen out from my briefcase.

>>681264151
Welcome back Kremgor. You come across a lowered drawbridge into the arena, but see some faggot fall on his ass not too far from here. Wat do?

>>681264600
A medium-sized dragon stops your elemental in its path, disintegrating it with its fire breath. It spots you and breaths fire at you for massive damage. Wat do?

>>681264962
Ight. I use the pokeball to "Go Alakazam"!

>>681265346
My readied action sends a powerful stream of urine to counter the incoming fire. Is my fetish stronger than a dragon? I shall soon find out.

>>681264986
>One action per turn but I'll let it slide

You find some gold on the skeletons body along with its scimitar and helmet, but may choose to not pick it up. Wat do?

>>681265100
kremgor inspect faggot. faggot shame man. kremgor strike faggot with battle ax!

>>681265519
Alakazam awaits your command. Wat do?

>>681265589
>character
I will embezzle the profits but i will leave the scimitar alone for it is tainted with the blood of the unrighteous.

>>681265519
>>681265693
PvP engage. Kremgor gets in first hit against the other dude with some sizeable damage. Waiting for other dude to respond.

>>681265557
Your stream is strong and injured the dragon enough to stun him, but not enough to deter it from battle. The dragon still stands. Wat do?

>>681266103
Think about how I just filled its mouth with my hot stream...I mean Dongus shall fire staves from the staff of staves at the dragon.

>>681265808
You take the helmet and the gold but leave the scimitar. You continue towards a room full of hot charcoal. You hear loud steams coming from the room followed by immense roaring. Wat do?

>>681265725
Deto the poon slayer will telepathically connect with his Alakazam to enhance his own mental capacity and psychic awarness via Alakazam.

>>681266426
Your staves hit the dragon, but for minimal damage. The dragon sizes up and attempts an attack. You are given the choice to attempt a counter, however failing to do so will result in death. Wat do?

>>681266729
Roll of 29 successfully enhances traits, but not by too much. Wait for Kremgor to respond.

>>681266788
COUNTER WITH Greater Creation urine domain IT IS TIME FOR IT TO ENTER MY MAGICAL REALM! Let's see how it like to be in a demiplane of pure watersports

>>681266493
(I Only take the gold i alpm already eqipped with a
An entropic helmet)
I will activate phantasm
This gives me copies of myself
I am equipped with manta style btw
Manta gives me two extra copies
5 copies total

>>681265060
still walking down hallway with goblins. Perception check.

>>681266493
And i enter the room

can Heroic Spirit, AIZEN join?

>>681267072
You successfully counter and force the dragon to enter your realm. It is automatically damaged by urine surroundings, but is still standing. Dragon is visibly injured. Wat do?

>>681263264
Progressive liberals seem incapable of stating the obvious truth: that we who are well off should be willing to share more of what we have with poor people not for the poor people's sake but for our own; i.e., we should share what we have in order to become less narrow and frightened and lonely and self-centered people.

>>681267306
A small black orc wearing a miniskirt is slowly methodically stroking his dick, he looks up at you and silently smiles.

>>681267280
>My bad.
You come across a faggot piss-wizard fighting a dragon in a charcoal filled room. You see a figure standing in the opposite side of the room as well. Your goblins seem vidibly intimidated. Wat do?

>>681267548
I pass the goblin
He seems to pose not a threat to me but only to my sexuality

>>681267306
You see a piss-wizard fighting a valiant fight against a sizable dragon. Wat do?

>>681267790
I jump on top of the dragon, dragging one of the terrified goblins along with me and I attempt to ride the dragon, thus taming the beast.

>>681267386
Why yes, just read DA RULES

>>681267177
Your shadow clone jutsu gives you /5 your power level so long as you have the clones. What do?

>>681267860
The orc watches as you walk past, he seems disjointedness and continues to furious masturbate as if challenging you. Scribbled on the wall are some dank memes and an arrow pointing further down the hallway. It smells like fat people.

>>681267946
I assist the wizard
I call upon the almighty sven to grant me gods strength
Its granted, nearby allies damage increased by 20%
Wizard's piss becomes acid
He defeats the dragon
Wizard's dick becomes unstable
I get pissed on, as a result my phantasm deactivates (250 second cooldown time)

>>681268026
Your roll of 26 makes it all too difficult to tame the beast alone. Other players may come to aid you. Wat do?

>>681268392
>>681268438
I continue on the path

>>681268578
>>681268547
>>681267410
The dragon is defeated but not dead. The dragon seems as if submitting to the Goblin-Owner. Wat do, all of you?

>>681268578
I throw the gobblin that I dragged along with me, into the dragons mouth and reassure him that everything is going to be okay by asking him if he is a hungry boy, in a patronizing tone, and making kissy noises.

>>681268705
The hallway begins to descend, first the a damp floor, then ankle deep puddles before finally coming up to your waist. The water is icy cold and you can feel your balls shriveling, your torch begins to go out.

>>681268982
I use my mask of madness to take over the dragon and make it my own. I then use it to destroy the goblin owner.

>>681269057
The dragon is tamed, under your control. However one of your goblins is frightened by your actions and attempts to flee. Wat do?

>>681268982
Stop sustaining the the greater creation. Allow the goblin owner dominate the urine soaked dragon.

>>681267003
Tell Alakazam to use confusion on Kremgor telepathically.
Shield bash with vampiric shield of thorns!

>>681269327
I call upon slardar to grant me passage into the aqua plane
It is granted, bit in return i must exchange half the gold i have recieved from the skeleton goblin.
I breathe underwater and continue my quest

>>681269363
>>681269057
The dragon is mostly taken over, but is conflicted between you and the goblin-owner. You have mostly full control but the goblin-owner may sway the beast. Wat do, Goblin-owner?

File: 1461462280628.jpg (3 MB, 3840x2629) Image search: [Google]

3 MB, 3840x2629

Fuck the bunny

>>681269721
The confusion inflicted upon Kremgor is mighty due to his minimal intellect, however your shield does not do so much damage to Kremgor, healing you even less. Wait for Kremgor to respond.

>>681266729
>>681267003
faggot not dead. kremgor mad! kremgor crush faggots head with hands!

>>681269964
Im gonna fuck that bunny

>>681269754
Too late, you discover the water is actually urine and burns your eyes, the hallway ends in two doorways, on the other side of the left door you hear some niggers talking about racism, on the other side of the ride door you hear some fat voiced girls crying - intermingled with the word feminism and patriarchy.

I polymorph into a 4-foot long penile shaft minus the glans, which hovers on a cloud of pubes. Flail damage 6d4.

>>681270277
>6d4
Go back to /tg/ you faggot

>>681269436
I use my smooth talker ability on the other guy to covince him to let me have the dragon uncontested and fight by my side.

>>681270208
I morph into a blackface and walk into the ledt door.
I take pity upon the women, for if i went in there, my testosterone levels would have ebliterated them.

>>681270530
roll of 30 combined with ability makes the effectiveness up to the other guy. Wat do, other guy?

>>681270147
Kremgor goes to grab Deto by his head, but leaves an opening to counter! Deto may try to counter but failing to do so will result in massive consequences.

>>681270147
Alakazam Mega evolves and uses psybeam.
Deto the Poonslayer shall activate Cosmic libido to seduce Kremgor to the core of his soul.

>>681271727
The counter is attempted, but sadly Alikazam does not have enough power from the 27 roll to mega evolve. However, the cosmic libido tries to seduce Kremgor with all he desires, giving Deto a distraction. Wat do?

>>681270208
I am now one with the black people

>>681272411
>>681271727
kremgor confused. *sexual thoughts about men* "BAD NONO THOUGHTS" GET OUT OF KREMGORS HEAD! berserk mode. swing ax in all directions!

>>681272411
I Deto the poon slayer shall Swing with 2+sword of excruciating pleasure.
*Alakazam use Thunderpunch*

>>681273492
Berserk hits Alakazam. Alakazam faints. Wat do?

>>681273649
Deto hits for average dmg. Kremgor snaps out of its confusion. wat do?

>>681273685
I Deto the poonslayer shall Block with my +3 shield of vampiric thorns so that his attacks heal me for the damage they would inflict.