Boner balls

>>681247155
Ayyy, first try

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>>681247155

"Well this is shit." Said

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Fuck Muffin

>>681248199
>>681248055
>>681247377
Dubs for days

With a loving grin, Papa said, "It's okay to commit suicide. Just do it!"

>>681248646
"Text that idiot again, I want to know what that sissy faggot is taking so long with the delivery."

>>681246504
Am I ready for chest hair ?

The only way to get the best way to get the most important part of the time of year again for your last email I got a new one

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I am Jacks lack of enthusiasm for the most part, but I think. Maybe not. I completely understand. I get a free to use the same time. this is a gay thread. butt fuckit. how about you?

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

As the storm raged around them, the young boy looked up with pleading eyes and spoke "Why, Mr. President? Why did you do this?"

The hard-lined man appeared to only notice the boy then. A lopsided grin spread slowly across his face as he replied "Why to make America great again, of course."

Above the gale could be heard laughter, devoid of humor or compassion. And that's when the boy knew he was dead.

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Itty-bitty titty kitty

>Mom died right when I was born
>Grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before i was born
>Growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister
>Be 17 or 18
>Notice that my sister is a hottie
>Accidentally found a video that she made of herself
>I thought she was so fucking beautiful that I watched it twice
>Would have watched it a lot more, but crazy shit went down and I had to leave home
>At this point, totally lusting after my sister
>She was also having bad trouble with the law
>Actually in custody when I left home
>Friend and I go to pick her up
>I Just wanted to fuck her brains out
>I think she had feelings for me too
>Kissed me when we picked her up
>Definitely WAS NOT a sisterly kiss
>Friend told me he wants to get with my sister
>jealous.jpg
>Not much happened between me and my sister for a while
>At this point, we were all wanted and moving around a lot
>Serious sexual tension between my friend and sister
>I get hurt badly and almost die
>While in recover, sister gives me another not sisterly kiss
>We spend some time apart
>I get really religious, try not to think of her that way
>I was totally over her
>We go sailing a year later (nothing romantic)
>She's in the hottest fucking bikini ever
>All those feelings come back
>She ends up with my friend from before
>After all this, we were at a party
>Sister and I were outside alone
>Kill the mood by telling her that Darth Vader is our father and I have to go face him

"ay fuck dat nigga man he aint nuttin but a bitch azz nigga yall feel me mane dat nigga a fuck nigga"

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Asshole. I'll kill you.

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Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Shit. Bull shit. He's bluffing. What type gonna do stab me.

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OP turned out alright in the end:it was what prayed on him, what foul shitposts floated in the wake of his threads that closed out all interest in the abortive sorrows and short-winded elations of the faggot

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Flipping frames again.

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This is exactly what happens when /b/ writes my story...and I love it.

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Just look at it. Isn't that neat.

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TACO TUESDAY

Ye Olde Fuck Bucket

Hillary Clinton's pussy stank

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Move the goddam dumpster you biiiitch.

>>681251854
reroll

why does mommy make dog noises with daddy in their bedroom at night?

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>>681251590
Thank you based anon.

5 dubs from now, Chapter 3 will be named, and Chapter 4 will begin.

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Gonna win the Newberry award with this shit.

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>>681251590
Rollit

I think it's high time we wrote a story, /b/.

> Trips names story
> Trips with image decides cover
> Trips with all the above decides all the above
> First come, first serve.
> First set of dubs and every 5 dubs afterwards decides chapter names

All other posts are included in the text. Everything before the first set of dubs is the prologue.

Have at it, faggots.

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TRIPS backwards is Spirt

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Dr.Pavel, I'm CIA

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>>681252685

I awake after passing out with a burning pain in my rectum. I put my hands down my trouser and I feel a warm liquid sensation and catch a whiff of something foul. I have shat my pants in my sleep, as for the burning pain it still remains a mystery to me.

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>>681253047
We must go deeper.

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Hueee

>>681253223
so close

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New rules:

> every 2 dubs from this point forward names Chapter 3 and on.
> When a chapter is named, the next one starts.
> I will include text from images as part of the story text.

meep the down

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The end. Just kidding.

Get fucked, fatty.

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What. The. Fuck

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IM EDM AF BRO

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FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK

And deeper then did the young OP delve into the abyss of faggotry, debauchery and degeneracy. Perhaps it was that, in the depths of this putrid existence, he still had a martcum of hope in a brighter future, for a betterment of our depraved race. But there is no redemption, for we shall never rise beyond the filth. Forever doomed are we to revel in our own shit, devoid of purpose. But nonetheless, the naive OP continued down the path of destruction.

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WAKE ME UP INSIDE

"Rub that mcmuffin all over my tits", she cried. "Shove those mcnuggets up my pisshole and give me a thickshake enema you fucking bastard. I love you ronald", she moaned in ecstasy.

All of this was said by the sad, fat dragon with no friends

Reddit Content Policy

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>>681254483
I CAN'T WAKE UP

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Ain't no robot here

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>>681254566

WAKE ME UP INSIDE!!

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Please kill me

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So I mean. Im looking at the data here and im sick to my stomach. 75% of black people who voted in nevada voted for clinton over bemie.
Why. Fucking WHY.
WHY.
How can they be so fucking dumb? Like I have been campaigning with bemie and ALL of my black friends are feeling the bem. Yet all of them show up to vote clinton?
Why.
Somebody explain to me why this is happening. Bernie sanders was part of the FUCKING CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT. Where was Hillary? Defending child molesters in court?
I literally cant right now. My entire body is shaking typing this out. I have a gun in a safe nearby but its really tempting me right now because im not going to be able to tolerate that WHORE winning anymore. Her speech tonight was enough to drive me over the edge. Her fucking outfit was the icing on the cake that fucking cunt wearing a fucking christmas tree ornament outfit.
FUCK. And as of right now , if clinton has THIS many stupid fucking blacks voting for her. Its all over. Like there is no possible way bemie can win unless he fucking digs up MLK and tries to get him to run as his running mate. But even then im sure the DNC will dig up some 8mm film of him being pro life or some trash.
PS im not a racist im just really emotional right now and it confuses me deeply how blacks can vote so incredibly against their own self interest. It would be like a mulslim or mexican person voting for donald trump.

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My B: A story about the biggest turbofag, cucklord, marshmallow playing, fedoralord in Melee.

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Altec Lansing

>>681254782
SAAAAAAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The Number \

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>>681246504
Elmo joins the KKK

I sexually Identify as John Cena. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of defending my WWE championship at WWE SUPERSLAM. People say to me that a person being John Cena is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, You Can't See Me. I'm having Vince McMahon inject me with Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect. From now on I want you guys to call me "Champ" and respect my right to Five Knuckle Shuffle and Never Give Up. If you can't accept me you're a cenaphobe and need to check your championship privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

I have a brain tumor.

rolling for >>681255395

Hucksters

I'm jacking off while writing this fuckin book. Eat shit world.

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Diet

>>681255592
me too and i dont give a fuck who knows it

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>>681255555

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There once was a man named Trump.
He was so based he couldn't be stumped.
The end.

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> already page 8

Getting hard to play catch-up, but worth it. Keep it comin', /b/.

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Pronk

Please help me. I feel the insanity eating away at my mind as I write this book

I just... I dont know whats going on. My life has fallen apart
My new years resolution was to work my ass off (i live in nevada) to get bernie to win here.
And he just got destroyed. I dont understand. Why dont blacks and latinos like berniei mean the man was actually part of civil rights yet all of these minorities turn out to vote for a woman who is bought out by the same corporations that hate them.
I have been working so hard that its put a strain on my relationships. Its gotten so bad that my girlfriend asked "to see other people"....
I know what you are saying "dude are you serious what a bitch!" its okay though we are still together she just when she has urges she has a friend she goes too and you know whatever.
Buts thats not the fucking problem. I met the guy today and not only is he a BLACK guy.' But he apparently just got back from caucusing for clinton.
Every layer of my life is being taken away. My existence for the past week has been of humiliation.
The woman I wanted to marry is having sex with a black dude who doesnt even know bernie sanders civil rights record.
I just cant do this shit anymore. At least If bemie was president i could build a new life. But at this point im going to lose the woman I love to a fucking clinton supporter, and one that helped get that vile whore elected while probly spewing some stupid fucking black lives matter shit.

Please help. I feel the insanity eating my book.

heyyyy you're pretty good!

Please help my book.

Please eat book.

Stand strong Guys, Bernie hasn't abandoned us, we Will Not Abandon him. This is a Revolution, and It Will Not Be Stopped by one state going bad for us.

Eat book

mi libro... luna de pluton

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bük

>>681246504
Getting wrecked on /b/ A true story of how 4chan consumed my soul

>>681257334
SUNUVA CUNT

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Good fucking God, it's like the author of this book is literally losing his fucking mind. You guys are doing God's work.

>>681257377
Yaaassss dubs nigga. Check em. Please tell me I got a chapter.

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abcdefg

>>681257557
OP Here (I won't put this in the text.)

Tell you what, since this was such an accurate statement, I'll use it as the fucking title.

All I want is a sandwich and some krokodil

What if whenever you took a shit your dick would go back into yourself and help push the shit out like a slug swallowing food? Could your dick go so far as to fuck your own ass backwards?

Book title: The Negronomicon

This page was especially full of flavor.

>>681257844
dubs bitches

Add salt here.

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>>681258320

Yep, you got the chapter name this time. 2 more dubs from naming Chapter V.

Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger

God, I do so love a good, hard wanking to my favourite furry porn

Save the prologue for last. Use chop sticks.

Face the facts, NIGGERS, your race are a failed race because you're a feckless, unruly, uncivilized horde of feral proto-humans.

>>681258532
sweet i got chapter 2 also

Find the hidden bacon under page 4.

Skull fuck the affection out of my thyroid. You pornaholic shit rail. Piss the cunt fart in my eyes to bring me to fucking peace

This better be posted as a word file somewhere you slightly homo OP.

If someone could just rape and kill me, that would be great.

>>681259306
Add some pepper here. And a little creme fraiche.

"Fast and bulbous!"
"That's right, the mascara snake, fast and bulbous"
"Also a tin tear drop"
"Bulbous also tapered"

Whenever I masturbate, I do a lot of foreplay. I write down "Precum" on a sheet of paper, and stick the pen in my ass. I massage my foreskin and put a grapefruit with the centre hollowed out over my cock until I start leaking. Then I begin the full grapefruiting, stopping when I'm just on the edge. I get on the table, and try to cross out the "pre" on the note with the pen still inside me. The pressure of it being presssed against my prostrate usually causes me to ejaculate all over the note. It reminds myself that I became a better person than before

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Quick update.

> Page 10
> Chapter 5: ???

I haven't gotten the chance to fully read this autistic masterpiece of a descent to madness, but I know I'm gonna get a kick (and some cancer) out of it.

Hogwash

9/11 was the absolute best. 10/10 would 9/11 again.

ما اللعنة قلت للتو عن الله، لكم قليلا الخنازير؟ سآخذ تعرف تخرج أعلى من طبقته في الأختام الجهاد، وكان قد شارك في العديد من الغارات السرية على الولايات المتحدة وA، وكان لديه أكثر من 911 يقتل المؤكدة. وتدرب في الحرب كباب وانه الخاطف الطائرة كبار في القوات المسلحة الإسلامي كله. كنت له شيئا ولكن مجرد مركز تجاري آخر. وسيمسح الله لك يمارس الجنس خارج بدقة أمثال الذي لم يسبق له مثيل من قبل على هذه الأرض مسطحة. كنت تعتقد أنك يمكن أن تفلت من القول إن القرف لله على شبكة الانترنت؟ فكر مرة أخرى، كافر. ونحن نتكلم الله والاتصال شبكة سرية له من الجهاديين عبر منطقة الشرق الأوسط ويتم تتبعها IP الخاص بك الآن حتى تتمكن الاستعداد بشكل أفضل للذبح، كافر. ذبح أن تقضي على الشيء القليل مثير للشفقة استدعاء حياتك. كنت سخيف ميت، الصهيوني. الله يمكن أن يكون في أي مكان وفي أي وقت، وأنه يمكن أن يقتلك في أكثر من 911 الطرق، وهذا فقط مع التفجيرات الانتحارية. ليس فقط هو الله المدربة على نطاق واسع في الانتحار القتالية قنبلة، لكنه لديه حق الوصول إلى ترسانة كاملة من ISIS وانه سوف استخدامه لانها المدى الكامل للقضاء مؤخرتك بائسة من على وجه الولايات المتحدة وA. إذا كنت قد عرفت ما القصاص الاسلامية المقدسة كان لديك القليل تعليق حرام على وشك.

This book is not edible.

Pena, her litle head clinking like a barrel of red velvet balls
Full past noise
Treats filled her eyes turning them yellow like enamel-coated tacks
Soft like butter, hard not to pour
Out enjoying the sun while sitting on a turned-on waffle iron
Smoke billowing up from between her legs made me vomit beautifully
And crush a chandelier
Fall on my stomach and view her from a thousand happened facets
Liquid red salt ran over crystals
I later band-aided the area, sighed, oh well, it was worth it
Pena pleased but sore from sitting choose to stub her toe
And view the white pulps horribly large in their red pockets
"I'm tired of playing baby," she explained
And out of a blue felt box let escape one yellow butterfly the same size
Its droppings were tiny green phosphorous worms
That moved in tuck and rolls that clacked and whispered in their confinement
Three little burnt scotch taped windows several yards away
Mouths open to tongues that vibrated and lost saliva
Pena exclaimed, "that's the raspberries"

"Yes you are right Garfield." Said the kid who stopped doing drugs and went back to school for degrees.

Garfield than arrived at the vampire warehouse where the vampire gangsters held their Natalie Portman. Garfield notices there was a vampire gangster guarding the entrance.

"Oh, no its Garfield I must make alarm!" Said the vampire gangster.

"The only alarm you will be making is in hell!" Said Garfield as he shot the vampire gangster in the chest with his Desert Eagle.

"HA Garfield! Vampires can only be killed with steaks and suns!" Said the vampire gangster.

"Fool my bullets are made of suns." Said Garfield with astrophysics.

"Oh no I am dead!" Said the stupid vampire gangster as he burned away.

Nigga what the fuck suck ass is this arabic bullshit nigga damn. Chicken and waffles faggot.

>>681249901
fuck her right in the pussy?

>>681260111

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE THIS THE TITLE?!?!

I'm sticking with my previous pick.

YOU FUCKING DO IT AND YOU LIKE IT BITCH

>>681259905
brb translating

Meatspin.com

>>681259905
>>681260694
Fuck what I just said about God, you little pigs? I'll have you know graduated top of his class in the seals of jihad, and had participated in many of the secret raids on US and A, and he has more than 911 confirmed kills. And trained in the war and he kebab plane hijacker senior in the Muslim armed forces as a whole. I have nothing but just another shopping mall. I will wipe you the fuck out precisely the likes of which have never before seen on this earth flat. You think you can get away with saying that shit to God on the Internet? Think again, an infidel. We speak of God and call him a secret network of jihadists across the Middle East and is followed by your IP now even better prepare you for slaughter, an infidel. Slaughter to spend a little bit pathetic call your life. You fucking dead, Zionist. God can be in any place and at any time, and it can kill you in more than 911 routes, and that's just with suicide bombings. Not only is God's trained extensively in combat suicide bomb, but he has access to the full arsenal of ISIS and he will use it to the full extent to eliminate your ass miserable from the face of US and A. If you had known what retribution Islamic holy you have a few comments on the verge of haram.

Wow. Isis is fucking hardcore. I wonder if THE ALMIGHTY FUCKING LINDA is still alive.

But, as Andy clenched his sphincter around Buzz's ketchup stained form, a small click was heard. Andy's heart dropped from a state of euphoria into a pit of the deepest wory and regret. He gave Buzz a small tug, fearing for the worst. "OW" cried Andy as he felt Buzz's now extended wings dig into the walls of his ass. "You are a sad strange little man" croaked Buzz with the smallest hint of malice in his voice.

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>>681261088

Chapter 6 Start!

>>681261344
Chapter 7 start

"SHUT THE SPEED LIMIT UP" Sam Coste screeched at light speed. "86 IS FOR RICHARD NIX". Without a hint of regret, Coste released his arm tearing machines upon Tight Wad Hill. The gorillas orphaned every child in the tri state area in October minutes

I once jacked off looking at the end of a toilet paper roll, those were my dark days, but now I've upgraded to startlingly awkwardly across the room at my sister's breasts

Why own a fleshlight when you have a dog and some peanut butter

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>>681261678

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How I fucked a ferret

look out flying derbis