Please /b/ I'm not OP. I need this too, I'm too fucking depressed right now. Please guys, just this time. Please.

>>681036111
Nice trips faggot.

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>>681036111
I'll share my story.This is a long one, and I’m not sure why anyone would be bothered, but here goes.
https://youtu.be/Y42phMnztoE (music)

1/4
> be in 5th grade. Friends sister just died from.cancer. Only 17 years old. Let's call him Nikolai.
> spend last 2 weeks away from school to be there for him, because he’s my best friend.
> we are a group of four people hanging out. Friends since “0th” grade.
> get to 7th grade. We suddenly share same school yard as the older pupils.
> my friends want to get along with them. Doing as they are told.
> all of my friends starts to bully me.
> no one wants to talk to me, as they don't want to be bullied too.
> I’m all alone, with no friends anymore.
> one day getting a text from a girl from class. She wants to meet me outside the library after school. Says she want to hang out.
> show up, nervous as fuck.
> she isn’t there, but Nikolai and the others are there.
> mocking me, hitting me, ripping my cloth.
This happened from 7th grade to 9th grade (last year before “college”)
> getting bullied everyday by Nikolai, and the other guys. People from other classes joins in because they want to be accepted.
> getting kicked off my bike when cycling home from school.
> getting spat at.
> getting laughed at.
> at this point there is no self confidence, no trust, no happiness. Only loneliness.
> getting stressed at school. Can’t sit in piece.
> one day Nikolai and my other former friends wanted to throw me down a steep hill in the school yard. (They did this to a guy a month or so before, breaking his arm).
> fuckno.jpg
> as Nikolai grap my legs, and the others grap me, I kick him so hard in his face. He broke his nose.
> other guys wants to fight me. I beat all of them in shear rage. I don't even know how I did so.
> getting detention for 2 months.
> Nikolai and the others never got punished for their bullying, because it's all because of his sisters’ death.
> bullying gets worse.

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2/4
> coming home one day from school.
> mother is crying. Won’t tell me what's wrong. Says it's my farther.
> calling my father. Says he doesn't love my mother anymore, and will be away for a while.
> 2 months goes by, no word from my father.
> father had an affair with a local politician for 2 years.
> father disowns me and my brothers. Tells us he won't have anything to do with us anymore.
> mother gets severe depression, and occasional panick attacks.
> little brother is broken, locks himself into room.
> older brother lived in his own flat.
> I'm the only there to comfort my mother as she can barely breathe.
> mother can't work anymore, and can't go outside because she is so imberaesed, and she panicked when being with to many people.
> this goes by for about 3 months.
> I'm totally broken. Can't trua anyone, severe depression, can't sleep.
> wake up one night. Having a feeling that I need to check on my mother, urgently.
> she sits in bed with 2 open bottles of wine, and a handful of pills in the hand.
> mother tries to hide them. Goes into panick attack.
> spend all night trying to comfort her.
> can't sleep during the night at this point. Not doing well in school at all. And the bullying is unbearable.
> No one listens to me. No one helps me.

>>681036417
Thank you, you bastard.

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>>681036949
3/4
> one day my father showed up. Says he has something to tell me and my brothers.
> dragging us into living room.
> mom is kinda sobbing.
> my father smiles and says he wants to renew his marriage with my mom, even though we haven't seen him in about 4 months.
> they get married again. They get happy.
> father never said sorry. Never tried to explain anything.
> mother is still fucked up, and won't recognice anything bad.
> still getting bullied. Can't remember when the last time I was truly happy.
> finally done with school. Best day ever.

> first day at college.
> didn't say anything to anyone.
> I was afraid. I didn't know how to do anything socialy, and had no trust in anyone. Beleived anyone would try to bully me, laugh at me and hit me.
> minding my own business. Always sitting alone in class. Don't talk to anyone, or standup when theres a break, as I don't want to draw any attention.
> find myself crying every day.
> parents ignoring my problems, as they are to busy acting happy even though they are not, and showing it all on Facebook.
> still no friends. Never been to a party. Never really talked to girls, as they normally would do.mean stuff and try to make me tell some personal stuff, only to tell it to everyone.
> no days pass by without the first and last thing I'm thinking about is suicide.

>>681036505
The bastard was meant for you.

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>>681037299
4/4
> started smoking weed. Found a friend through that.
> didn't do well in school.
> suddenly having two more smoker friends.
> hanging out with them as much as possible, so I didn't have to go home to my family.
> fast forward to last year of college. Finding myself at party with my 3 and only friends. Drugs everywhere.
> my friends start doing drugs. I didn't.
> cut contact with them as they turned out to become some really uncomfortable persons.
> once again all alone.

> moved to a new city to attend university.
> really depressed and sad all the time. Started not to give a fuck about anyone else, and mined my own business.
> people start to like me. WTF?
> actually got friends who wanted to hang out with me. Decent people.
> we’re drinking a lot.

Fast forward to today.
> 21 and still a virgin. People don't understand why I can’t open up, and why I won't talk about my family and what I did before moving to the city.

/b/, I have been so miserable for so long, and I really want to change myself. I just don't know how to do it.
I cry every day, I can't feel sympathy, I can't be among too many people at once. I still can't trust anyone. And I can't bring people too close to me. Even though I know that I should be able to.

>>681037568
Maybe u should do some kind of therapy?

>>681037568
guitar is the shit. makes you look cool too. you gotta try it, it'll take your mind off everything.

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>>681037568
If I could hug you, right now I would.

>>681035821
This

why even fucking live brehs, i took a walk into town and had a anxiety attack

just let it all end

>beat 3y friendzone
>she's 10/10
>fuck
>she has life problems, 2 much
>help her
>she wanted to suicide and all
>superhero.jpg
>she used to be slutty
>everyone amazed how she is not slut anymore
>1 year relationship
>broke up with her
>shes a slut again

This. This whole thread is the prime example why the older generations make fun of the pussy emo "mellinials". Fuck your feelings nobody cares. As always, OP is a fag. How did that make you feel? Your parents should have aborted you all.

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>>681041213
We fucking know!

>never had gf
>Find internet girl through /b/ and youtube
>Has problems with life
>talk to her
>try to keep her happy since her videos make me happy
>Stopped talking back to me
>scared to message again
did I just fall in love with someone over the internet? I'm pathetic man

>>681037568
I cringed because your friend betray you.

>>681041709
Fuck

>>681041713
Maybe you did, but you should atleast try to message her again, just ask how she is doing or something like that.

If you really fell in love with her, you would know. Just try it. You got nothing to lose.

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>>681042355

>>681041709

How about this then, Stop caring what other people think. The amount of likes you get on Facebook won't put food on the table. The amount of followers you have on twitter won't get you out of your parents house. So peel off the skinny jeans and burn your Trilby (aka Fedora). Stop acting like everyone owes you something and go get it yourself.

>>681042676
Maybe when she uploads another video

>>681042898
Dont be shy /b/ro. You can do this.

>>681043168
Yeah, I guess I will. I'll message her in the morning. Thanks for the confidence boost. Probably the most helpful thing someone has done for me in a while

gas all feelfaggots
or at least avoid them

>>681043855
wtf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzDupYdobnU

>>681036417
I know this feel

>>681043847
Hey man. We gotcha. We can be retarded most of the time here on /b/ but I hope you both hit it off.

>>681043915
this
>>681043543
>>681042919
>>681042704
>>681042355
>>681041709
>>681038763
>>681036417
>>681035754

these do not belong ehre

>>681036111
love you anon; hope your week will get better.

>>681035754
I'm out.

>>681042757
what happened to him? is he still immortal?

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>>681044068
>ehre
I found the extra chromosome.

>>681043847
Probably the best thing I did in weeks. I came here searching for help, I didn't found help, but I helped you. Atleast I did something good. Anyway no problem. Just, dont give up. I know it's hard.

>>681044025
I doubt it. She lives in America, I'm in England. Time zones suck and what not. Honestly, I just want to be her friend. She's having a tough time with her life at the moment, I am too. I just want to be a crying shoulder. Nothing more, nothing less. I just want to make people happy, like her I guess.
>>681044374
Life's always hard. The hardest thing I've done is carry on when I've wanted to give up. I don't know if life gets easier, I'll find out someday

I live a good life, very smart, big and strong, playing college football, so why do I want to kill myself so much?

Humans are made to overcome suffering just remember that y'all there's always a better way

One

>>681044699
I hope so, my depression kicked in 6 months ago. And day by day it's geting worse. I'm still young, I can do it. But I dont know how to handle it anymore. I just want to get out of here, but I'm stuck at a place where I dont want to be. Home isn't feeling like home anymore. Doctors want to get me some "happy" pills. How should I deal with it, this shit is totally ruining my life bro.

can I have a hug please?

>>681044301
he's making music and vines.

>>681045844
Just try to live

>>681043543
Fucking saving this.

I've known a girl for eight years, only dated twice and she doesn't like me anymore. I message her, we talk for a little then she leaves me on delivered. She had a boyfriend but they broke up. What should I do? Keep messaging her? Or leave her alone until she messages me? When we did date, she dumped me after a couple weeks. They guy she dated recently lasted months. I'm a mess /b/ros.

> be me
>super strict mother growing up
>she would mentally abuse me constantly
>never really let me go hang with friends and such
>would constantly tell me she wish I was never born. How she hated me
>all through elementary school never really made any friends because I was scared to talk to people.
>had no self confidence
>hit middle school and I began to become severely depressed
>attempted to an hero but pussied out
>eventually began to feel less and less
>basically becoming empty and apathetic to everything
>with this I become more confident start talking to people
>the more empty I feel the more people like me because I can fake everything
>hit high school
>start dating girl
>girl is super depressed
>I try to help but I honestly can't understand her feelings anymore at that point
>wasn't able to help
>she breaks up with me
>I feel nothing
>I start partying having sex smoking weed typical average teenager stuff
>I start smoking weed away from parties
>I start smoking weed alot
>it's such an amazing feeling to me becuase when I'm high I actually feel emotion and it's all good emotion.
>this continues for years.
>I'm now a freshman in college
>I don't feel anything
>the only way for me to be happy is to smoke
>all I want is to be happy

I apologize for the typing guys. I've never done one of these before and I'm typing on my phone.

>>681035471
OK op. I got some feels for you. I've told this story to /b/ once before, but I didn't copy and save it. The memories I'm about to dredge up are some of the most painful in a life of twisted shit, so please bear with me.
1/4

>Be 8
>Be 1985 in rural New York
>Mother is a drunk cocaine addict who only keeps me around because of the state stipend.
>One day mom goes apeshit because I forgot to watch the pasta sauce on the stove and it burns
>Beats me with a metal serving spoon, breaking my cheek bone, my jaw, my left wrist, and 3 metacarpals in my right hand.
>My pupper Jake, my best, and really only friend, tries to protect me.
>Mom gets the carving knife kills my dog, right in front of me
>Try to protect my dog, and my mom stabs me through my right forearm
>Neighbor calls the cops
>fast forward 1 month, in family court, I had been so fucked up in that incident, that judge has to ask my child's advocate if I was same kid in the case file picture.
>Get placed in "Short Term Foster Care" so my mother can attend "parenting classes" for one year to see if I should be returned to her care.

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>>681047577

unfortunately, this one is real

>>681046250
anyone got this without text?

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>>681047485
Here are the pics.

My only friend died unexpectedly last week and i just now found out about it. Nothing feels real right now.

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>>681047485
Here are the pics.>>681047485

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okay
>me 17
>been with the girl of my dreams in high school
>she fucking loves me
>I fucking love her to death
>right after Halloween when I went "trick-or-treating" with her
>went to a party on Nov 1st
>girl there thought I was cute
>I cheated on my girlfriend
>I told her on a Monday
>she fucking forgave me
>I'm so fucking stupid that I broke it off, because I'm way too hard on myself
that shit happened 2 years ago and I'm still not over it, I'm not happy

>>681047708
2/4

>Get placed with local family currently housing 3 other kids. Mary Anne is 10, Joey is 6, and Joey's sister Heather is 4
>In home about a week when I realize how shit stands
>Mike, my foster father is not only a pedophile, but a sadist, and a woman beater. His wife Connie has been beaten into a husk, she just basically lets him do whatever he wants, as long as he doesn't come after her.
>Mike has a method, he lets the older kids decide if they want to take the younger kids "turn"
>By the time I showed up he had been raping Mary Anne for nearly a year
>After the first week, I find out that she had taken my "turn" and I decide to try and protect her too.
>For the next six months Mary Anne, and I spent 3 or 4 nights a week taking "turns" with mike to protect Joey and Heather, and each other. She became the only person I could trust.

So here it is /b/..
There is this girl that I know,beautifull blonde,8/10. When we met we had good laugh,good time and all. As time past,we became friend and i start being the guy she would call when she had trouble. About her life or about her boyfriend.

Being the one i am,i know that even if he's an asshole,she will be more japly with him than she would be with me. So i always do so thing works good between them,even if it hurt me inside. Seeing her smile is what make me do it. But since a few weeks,its hard for me to go on,and she did notice that i try to hide sadness. So i just dont know what to tell her when she ask me why i dont smile like i used to...

Today i came across a picture from a little more than a year ago. It was the last time I was truly happy, I could see it in my eyes that I was happy. It was with my ex, and it all ended over simple time commitment and her boredom. She took my happiness, which I had before her.

>>681037568
that must be super tough, man. I guess try to do some activities like learning an instrument or bodybuilding to try an renew your confidence and self image. For the social stuff, I reccomend therapy. Please get better soon anon, we're all here for you.

>>681048560
3/4

>After 6 months, little Joey of all people, let slip what was happening at "home" and wound up saving us both.
>I get shipped back to my mom, Mary Anne gets placed with her grandmother
>We see each other again at Mike's trial, and I get her gram's number so we can talk
>Over the next 6 years she and I stay in touch, we get together whenever we can. She becomes my best friend.
>No matter how hard I try, I can't help her get over what happened in that house.
>She goes in and out of juvenile psych hospitals
>I keep begging her to get better, so I don't have to go through it alone

>>681045883
Sure bud, let me just hug my computer screen, feel that?

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>>681048382
You are a fucking idiot, just saying.

>>681044374
How can I help bro?

>>681048382
She forgave you because she was fucking around on you.

>>681049812
thank you

>>681047486
Buy a motorcycle

>>681049987
Don't feel alone though, just about every person on /b/ is empty and hollow inside.

>>681049200
4/4

>Week before my 14th bday, I spend the day hanging out with Mary Anne,
>By this time we were both angry, "dark" metalheads, pissed off at the world
>Happiest day of my life so far. One of the happiest memories i have of a VERY dark time in my life.
>Day before my bday I get a package in the mail from Mary Anne
>Open the package and inside is a battered, and broken down copy of the book "The Outsiders"
>Inside cover says "Happy BDay Anon. Luv Ya! M"
>I call Mary Anne's Gram looking to say thanks
>Her gram is in tears when she answers the phone. Mary Anne killed herself in the bath tub the night after we hung out last.
>I broke. I was absolutely beyond feeling at that news.
>I sat down in my bedroom and read that entire fucking book, cover to cover in one night, trying to keep ahold of Mary Anne, it didnt work.
>I got to back cover, and in a heart was her last message to me, It just said "Stay Gold Anon"
>I finally cried. I cried like have never cried before, or again in my life.

I loved her anons, and I was too fucked up to be able to tell her. And then she was gone, and I'll never have the chance. You wanted feels, there. Enjoy my pain, god knows I need someone to share it with.

>>681050107
true yeah

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>>681050267
Thanks for the advice Ponyboy Anon

>>681050267
Heart wrenching shit anon, thank you for sharing, god speed

>>681050525
Funny part about that advice is, I didn't take it until much later in my life.

>>681050583
Thanks I guess. They say sharing helps ease the pain, but it really doesnt.

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>been dating someone for a year
>about seven months in it started going bad
>constantly put down, called names
>called annoying and clingy for only wanting to talk maybe once every two days
>tell them that they hurt my feelings when they call me names
>"haha, anon, you don't want me to lie do you?"
>the only time they open up is when they want sex
>always say yes because it makes me feel loved for the ten minutes it lasts
>they always talk about how attractive other people are, they joke about flirting with them or how badly they want to fuck them.
>how well they treat me depends on how they're feeling that day, sometimes it's amazing, sometimes it's awful.
>afraid to tell them how sad i am because they won't listen or will get mad at me
>still stay with them because they're the only person that will ever love me
>cry myself to sleep

I really needed one OP. I really need someone to talk to. All these things I must say about my past but I can't trust any of my "friends" I just need someone to love

>>681051914
Im assuming you're a femanon. Also they only see you as a sex object, if you don't feel you will ever be loved, you mind as well take a sex love relationship, it may be hollow but atleast its something.

I just want to be loved, /b/

>>681051914 Here we love you Femanon, in silence but we love you.

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anybody else /ghost/ here?
>never invited to anything, but always talk to the given crowd
>always ignored
>always an acquaintance, never a friend
>never spoken to, only speak to others

>>681051914

That's pretty much what this song is about. The 90's were spot on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Abrn8aVQ76Q

>>681047486
Antonio?

>>681051914
You sound like someone I know, that dumped a guy after a year knowing he was using you for sex

>>681052628
me, I was invited to hang out 3 times just so it wouldn't be two guys hanging out

>>681052628
I'm the person that only exists when people want things from me

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>>681041213

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>>681048382
>being attractive enough to cheat on your cute girlfriend
GO FUCK YOURSELF

>>681052628
Same here, it got worse when my 2 real friends moved out

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>>681052263
it's not always sex, there are some nights where we talk for hours and laugh and connect, sex is just given because it's just sparse.
>>681052738
i wish i could be like them.
>>681052684
that's a good song
>>681052554
thanks, i love you too.

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XD

rolling btw im from 9gag hehe :P

Do any of you feel bored with life? Like working to be bored? Few times I'm pretty hyped, but there are weeks when the only thing that keeps me going is that I know there must be some good times ahead. Still, it sucks going through work just to sit home bored.

Weekends I can't really get into anything, there are chores to do, relatives to visit etc, so when I have a couple of hours free time, I blow it on funposting, or watching stupid yt videos.

ps, good job, good wage

>>681051914
i know your feels anon

>>681043543
feels

>>681053744
FUCK YOUR MOTHER.

>>681050267
Do you have Mikes full name?

>>681044817
maybe because what you are doing, is not really what you want to do.

>>681053188
thank you

>>681037568
kids turn on friends like that mosty do to envy.
just letting you know it started cus you were better than them, you still are - much better actualy.
what you bean though allows you to see life and people in a much bigger picture and see more layers.
most people are reletvley one demintional, stupid and predictble - a big chunk of western society reminds me of ants.

not sure whats my point but just some thoughts of mine.. my brain is sleeping now.

all I want is someone to hold, /b/ros
why can't I have that

>>681054947
The universe systematically found a way to prevent that for you and the rest of us /b/ros

>>681054947
its not really what you want, so don't fret. Turn your negativism into a creative outlet

>>681047894
lol not the same guy. Dates don't match

>>681054364
not they, but why is it that I would never understand why would anyone want to kill themselves, yet in the past couple of years I changed my mind suicide is not that bad afterall? I don't think I'm depressed, also thought the stupidest thing is an hero especially when you are feeling low.

>>681055205
I fundamentally disagree. You can definitely find another human to hold, you just don't want that particular one

There's this guy in my class that knows that I love a girl in my class. He keeps on getting close and getting her to love him and I feel like shit because of it. I stopped speaking to them both and now I feel more like shit

>in relationship for 3 years
>Have bipolar disorder but take medication
>Overall im in a pretty good state
>Have bad days though
>Partner calls me crazy and blames me when i cant control my moods on those bad days
>Say sorry and try to calm them down, give them time to relax ect.
>I love them and i dont want them to suffer or fight more so i take the blame for everything
>Constantly puts me down, doesn't talk to me, gives excuses to yell or ignore me
>Slaps me one night
>Get fed up, pack my shit and leave.
>2 days later they beg for me back saying they were wrong for the shit they've done and how they've acted

Its been a week and i still haven't replied to him. I love him so much but i can't have someone constantly do this shit. What do i do /b/.
>

>>681055622
if someone hits you the relationship is over, it will only get worse

>>681046250
fuck...

>>681055622
Don't come back to him, to me, he seems like an abusive asshat that shouln't be in any kind of relationship with anybody

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Them feels in this thread
>Be me about 20 yrs old 150lb stuff muffin topping at the gym trying to lose weight
>Fast forward befriend a cool guy gets me into serious lifting takes me under his wing shows me everything.
>Start hanging out all the time feels like I have a big bro
>Start getting in shape and getting just a lil confident.
>Other friend at gym introduces me to gym girl 10/10
> We start talking fucking diamonds
>Fast forward me and her hanging out start getting close to her
>Pick her up every morning to go to the gym now

Cont?

>>681056115
I'm reading

>>681056115
go on

When I was 13 my girlfriend died (leukemia). She was the love of my life. I cannot have the same feelings for anyone else. I cannot experience love anymore.
Several months after her my Dad passed away. He was terrible person (agressive alcohol addict) and was murdered by some gangsta' guy who rent a house from my Father.
I tried to help him somehow. To give him purpose to stop drinking.
I was literally only person in the world who cared about my Dad, nobody even cried at funeral, even my brother, sister and Mom.
I am dead inside ever since. 10 years of darkness. I lost all hope to get over my depression.
It's really hard to go on sometimes.

>>681056115
>One day we start messing around talking about whose stronger
>Talk about wrestling each other one of these day
>Finally day comes to wrestle, find a place in a park and on grass
>She tackles me and round goes to her didn't expect it at all
> We keep messing around and wrestling each other
>she ends up on top of me her face right next to mine
>We blush and get up and we keep it going
>We somehow end up face to face again and we kiss feels like the cosmic energy flowing through my body.
>We just stared at each other and she had this smile on her
>We get up and walk close to each other
>From then on we get closer
>Wake up at 5am to go to her place and pick her up and we stay in my car until she fell asleep. I read her poetry and played piano music on my phone while she slept.

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>>681040316
oh hey, the attention seeker from the tranny threads

>>681055366
idk... i've wondered that myself for years, until something crushed me so hard that, I think about it daily. Shit... I often talk people out of it on here, and sometimes in real life. I give advice. I was always good at helping people. But... its kind of ironic becasue I help people get through their trials, and tribulations, yet I want to kill myself. The reason I don't... and my efforts may be futile; is I don't want to possibly miss out on happiness. So I am torn between living for a possibly good life, or killing myself because I have lost all hope. It's weird to be honest. Never thought I'd be that guy, but here I am.

>>681056792
> This went on the entire summer
> we were inseparable
> The way she looked at me made me feel on top of the world.
> We would call each other and say goodnight.
>The way she wrapped around me and hugged me was the best feeling, made me feel safe and loved.
>Few weeks pass by everyone knows us a couple now but she doesn't want to label it yet
> She starts acting all weird and suspicious.
>She gets a job from some guy we met as a trainer start seeing her a lot less.
>Best friend and I still hang out (one got me into lifting crazy)
>I recommend him to start talking to his old freinds-Ex made him lose all his freinds
>Finally started talking to freinds again
>Myself feel pride that i got that done
>My girl starts lying about random stuff, where she is and whose she's with I start getting angry a little.(I was in love could you blame me?)
> One day I find out she's sneaking in the gym we go to, to start training with the guy that gave her a job
>I go super rage and end up at the gym working out. didn't talk to her just full head in the gym.
>She comes up like a puppy and asks me if i was okay.
>Tell her im fine and to go away just having a bad day, (my whole body shaking)

Ive lost everyone that means something to me in my life and its my fault.

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>>681057607
>Shit kinda turns for the worse when my friends are telling me they see her out and about with this guy(never really verified if they fucked)
>We end up meeting one night and we sit in my car
>She looks and me and says she can't do this anymore says I am to controlling and jealous.
>Mfw she tells me this
>She leaves and i end up in my car alone at night.
>Punching and crying inside my car blasting music because im screaming
>Start smoking and drinking can't deal with this shit.

>>681057976
how is it your fault anon? I feel the same way about my life

i'm kind of depressed.
there's this girl i met online about a year ago, we just get along so well, we have so much in common. we've been talking every single day since we've first met and it never gets old there's always something to talk about. she doesn't know it but she's helped me gain a ton of confidence, lose about fifty pounds and look at the world with (a little more) light.
i'm not sure if i can do the same for her, yet i try so fucking hard everyday and it kills me to hear that she's sad.

>>681056717
Hang on with both hands. Put yourself out in the open. Allow yourself to interact with people. Go to the gym, do something, and I promise you will find someone.

>>681058069
Last post
>Few weeks go by turning 21
>Me and friends planning to do something
>She comes by and asks me to go out with her on my birthday night.
>I said sure why the fuck not ( at the time i wasn't thinking)
> That night comes she looks pretty as fuck
> She kinda gets drunks and asks me about us
> Says if she kisses me what should i do(tell her i would kiss back)
> Realize i broke down her walls and she fell in love with me and she got scared and backed out with all she was saying.
>Mfw she tells me she fucked my best friend after our break up and said shes sorry
>She gets drunk and falls asleep in the back seat of my car.
>Crying while driving her home
>Finally get her to her place and she kinda wakes up
>Says shes so sorry about everything and wish she could take it back
>Hugs me and hold on
>She tries to kiss me all i can do is cry.
>Shit going through my head if I caused the breakup or my best friend caused it to lose the girl i love.
>Friends never tells me anything and doesn't hang out with me anymore hangs out with his old friends
>She tells me she can't remember that night and ask me what happened.
>Just tell her she passed out drunk and thats about it
>Lost all my friends at that point and she moved away.
>Now im pretty much wrecked and went through a series of relationships over the years and kept going through break-ups
>Haven't dated in forever can't feel love anymore and to scared to get dumped again

>get into trouble
>prescribed olanzapine 25mg
>meet a girl
>start to fall in love
>she fancies me as well
>olanzapine completely obliterates my libido
>cant get an erection
>know i cant have a functional relationship with her
>start distancing myself from her so as to not waste her time
is this feels enough? im not sure

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mftc6GS1CWw&ab_channel=SandraPaukstaityte

>>681058820
Almost impossible I think. I tried so many times. I moved recently to UK to start over and it was my biggest mistake. I'm not confident enough to speak freely in english.
+ I have no friends because of that.
Anyway, thanks for kind words anon.

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This is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down:

>be me in high school, 16
>hermit nerd, all of my friends are online
>one (probably actually) autistic friend has another online friend that's a grill
>11/10, way into the same shit I'm way into
>literally never talked though
>autist has me help him make her birthday present since I'm an artfag and he's in love with her
>she starts talking to me
>fastforward.zip
>Long distance relationship after a couple months
>borderlinealpha.bmp
>Me in the US midwest, her on the coast
>get a shitty high school job to be able to afford to fly out to see her
>Visit a few times over the next few years
>move in together after we graduate
>in love completely
>sex is absolutely perfect
>her parents are awesome and treat me better than mine ever did
>everything is exactly what I always wanted

But also:

>while dating she would only talk to me once a month or so
>always says she's too busy
>turns out she was always out with friends doing whatever, but according to everybody she never cheated
>I stay along for the ride because I'm actually omega as fuck and don't feel like I have any potential to find another gf
>text goodnight every single night of our relationship
>maybe 5 replies in two years of doing it
>didn't know that relationships shouldn't be like this
>feelsbadman.psd
>but also feelsgood.png because when we're together it feels worth it

(1/2)

>>681055622
Don't go back, please.

>>681059146
for those TL:DR

Met a girl, feel in love, We break up, find out she fucked my best friends, end up alone and can't feel shit anymore

>>681059641
(2/2)

So anyway:

>stay long distance for two years and fly out to see her every couple months
>literally every dollar I have goes to plane tickets through high school, no college fund
>move in with her and her parents
>they love me
>never felt more accepted and welcomed anywhere in my life
>she keeps hanging out with her friends but I'm never included
>not sure if they know I exist
>she starts at a community college, I moved too late to enroll
>also can't find a job because the economy had literally just imploded as I was moving
>meets more new friends that never meet me
>she can't drive so I always pick her up and drop her off
>has me drop her off farther away
>has me pick her up later
>starts getting rides home
>stops talking to me completely even though we share a bed
>don't want to admit that it's dead because I put literally everything into this
>don't want to admit she's probably cheating on me because I have no idea what to do

But wait, there's more:

>lost an absurd amount of weight
>never sleep anymore
>can't find a job so I never leave the house
>I'm on the other side of the country and I don't know anybody
>long story short, try to kill myself a couple months after moving in together
>tell her that I can't handle our situation and I have to leave
>she cries
>worst I've ever felt
>still don't think she's done anything wrong
>drive the 2,136 miles back home
>isolate myself completely
>three weeks later she's in a relationship with a new guy on FB
>whole family shit talks me in the comments
>delete everything immediately

Be me, now:

>no relationship of any kind for over 5 years
>haven't held hands with another grill
>never got a grill's number
>have accounts on all dating sites and too fucking beta to send a message
>therapist tells me I'm literally afraid of girls
>I am now a ruined, empty human being
>alone in a shitty small ghetto apartment with a 9-5 job that doesn't matter
>probably going to kill myself within the next 6 months

>>681060032
I read it all, anon

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>>681060214
Thanks b/bro

I lost my wife and two little girls a little over a year ago. I've thought of suicide multiple times but I just can't bring myself to do it. I used to have a house with my family. Now I live in an apartment with my dog. I don't know what to do anymore.

>>681060102
I feel you

I think the only reason i hang on is my parents. Don't want them to think its their fault. Probably kill myself after they pass away

I really hope it all gets better

>>681060102
I know this feel all too well...

>>681060880

For me it's just my dad. We have nothing in common but he's still a good guy. My mom's legitimately bipolar and pulled a knife on me a couple times before all the rest of this story. Kinda makes the whole thing make sense now that I think about it.

>>681060765
*hug*

>>681061563
You don't want to feel like a burden....even tho you feel like absolute shit

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I'm too scared to kill myself

>>681037568
I'm sorry that's happened to you. Be strong

>>681061635
Thanks anon. I hate complaining about my situation I know there are people out there suffering worse. I'm glad I can talk about it even if it is with a bunch of anons.

>>681061957
Its okay venting. You gotta do it. And where here to listen and help if possible and just be there

IIT: Self-pity

>>681059507
anyone else dealing with sexual disfunction? i cant be the only one

>>681062457
We vent, because this is the only place we can.

>>681062364
I was married for 6 years had a 5 year old and a 3 year old. Now they are all gone and I'm left with no one. The funeral was the hardest thing I have ever been through. I never want anyone to have to bury their kids.

>>681046250
I don't understand

>>681037568

Before, your problems were real, and external.

Now you're in a new environment, no longer surrounded by the stupidity of youth. All the bullshit coming at you is in the past. So your problems, now, are all re all in your head. Not the ideal situation, but it's a start. You need to come to recognize this.

We are made by our environment. Your old shit environment is largely behind you. To a real extent -- if you accept it -- you are a different person. Reinvent yourself in your new environment.

If people are friendly to you, accept it. I am assuming that you are a good person, and that these new people, who are actual mature adults, recognize your value. Now it's up to you to recognize the same.

People have suggest therapy. It's a good idea. If you're not willing to do this, just do positive shit. Go out with friends, and make connections. Your new connections will make you forget about all the bullshit in your past. And the past is the past.

Stretch your wings in your new environment. Immerse yourself in it. Go for walks, get out as much as possible, whether with friends or by yourself. Eventually you may come to realize that the past is the past -- it doesn't exist anymore.

So yeah, therapy. But lacking that, you can do do your own thing. All of the above. And as stupid as it sounds, constantly remind yourself that everything has changed for the better, and your life is actually good. If nothing else, make it your mantra. "Everything has changed, life is better, life is good." You don't have to look at yourself in the mirror and repeat it 20 times every morning and night, but just think it as you explore your new environment, whether with your new friends, who actually like you (and vice versa), or while immersing yourself in your new environment. You're your own man now, no longer tied down by the bullshit from your past.

>>681047485
Its easy to say it than to actually do it, but let her go. She might be great and piss rainbows... but open your eyes. She's not interested
The sooner you open your eyes the better. Dont waste your life on someone who's not there for you
Get up. Grow up and move on. Now. No goodbyes. Let it go and get up

>>681062755
this

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>>681035471
this is my true love, i will never meet her, she doesnt even exist.

>>681062863
What don't you understand?

>>681057353
Wow. You have the words that I was looking. This is me, I just didnt know how to put it into words.

>>681063110
Why is he lying down? How did he die!

>>681062813
If you believe they're in a better place thats where they are. All I can say. They're looking over you and seeing your hurt. They know you should live your life and one day when you are ready and old to come and join them

>>681062755
self-pity is the mostrar addictive drug and unless you stop using it your life will continue to suck.

>>681057353
Don't.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

>>681063227
Sniper.

>>681063227
His buddy had been shot. He ran back to drag him to safety and he was shot as well.

>>681063525
>>681063545
Oh :(

>>681058321
Because, sometimes I can be to needy or to clingy. Ive been in toxic relationships before and ive been lied to and belittled so much, that im afraid that anyone I meet might do me the same way. So, I usually say or do something stupid and they wind up just leaving. Ive lost some really good people in my life because I cant get over my past.

>>681048189
Sorry bout that man... I'm sorry for your lost

>>681063458
My life don't suck, I just exist, do what I can to make money to pay the bills and hope my ol lady don't cheat on my again, that's my life, others have it much worse, but here we all have a voice, we can all tell our stories, and sometimes we can even help each outer out, even if its only by listening.

>>681063487
I most likely won't anon.

>>681062889
This. We need more like you anon

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>>681061789

We all are, I wish it were easier or that there weren't any repercussions.

>>681063250
I want to join them now. They were my world now I have nothing. But I'm to much of a pussy to kill myself. I'm just numb to everything. I just want to see their smiling faces again to hear my kids laughing and to hear my wife's voice telling me she loves me. Just one more time.

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>never had anybody to lose
>don't have anything to distract me of my sadness
>not strong enough to end my life

Why even live?

>>681064157
same
except I tried and failed

Be in 2 year relationship with girl couple years younger than me. Always there for her throughout the 2 years while she struggled with personal problems and friends. She leaves for college and leaves me in a matter of about a month. classic case i suppose. cant get over her even if i think i am sometimes. dream about her. havent talked to her in ages. she wont even text me to check up on me. want to hate her and do, but i dont. only girl i ever loved. im pathetic

>>681063887
Poor me

>when the only girl that's ever loved you back is thousands of miles away

>>681048560
Jesus anon ....

>>681064153
You have your dog, anon. He depends on you just as much as your family once did.

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It sucks to be suicidal but you're too much of a pussy to actually do it. It's like having a crush on a girl, but you can't ask her out. What I fee the most is what happens after. I also hate knowing that everyone would be destroyed after going to my funeral. My friend got my parents phone number because she's so afraid that I'm going to do it. I just want it all to stop, you know?

>>681051914
Stop being a fucking pussy and grow some balls. People hate the weak.

>>681064954
fuck you asshole

>>681063487
what's wrong with a permanent solution? it would end the problem permanently. sure you might miss out on happiness but that will no longer be a problem to you because you'll already be dead

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>>681065299
Life's a bitch. Deal with it.

>>681050267
Fuck man. That's some shit. I hope your get better man

Anyone have any feels music?

>>681064516
I bet you have a story anon, here you are trying to act tough, here of all places, what is your story?

>>681057353
This right here is my reason for not doing it, what if I am meant to be happy eventually? Then again the other side to that is what if it doesn't happen for so long that it's just not worth holding out? Its a hard choice -.-

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>>681055366

>>681065314
Are you sure? Nobody knows what comes after you die, apart from what you believe. It's the most terrifying thing about death.
I think it's better to live when you can.

>>681055386
>tfw I actually can't
no one wants to be anywhere near me

My father passed away literally a day after i promised him i'll go fishing with him that day I still can't believe it happened to my dad. I still send his facebook messages giving myself false hope that i'll see it says "seen" at the bottom...

>>681061789
then youre not ready for your final form, faggot.

from somebody whos been there and failed, the next time SHOULD be your last. you come back more broken and uncaring than before (even though you cant possibly believe it).

>>681063487
define "temporary"
after 6 years this shit isn't getting any better

>>681065711
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcXoRlvpLVY

>>681066441
if there's something after life you'll probably experience it anyways one time or another. why wait, i hate waiting in lines already. the only reason i dont do it is for fear of ending up alive and more fucked up than before

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>>681048382
>>me 17
>>been with the girl of my dreams in high school
>>she fucking loves me
>>I fucking love her to death

>implying you understand or know what love is at 17

>>girl there thought I was cute
>>I cheated on my girlfriend
>>I fucking lover her to death
>>I cheated on my girlfriend
>>I fucking lover her to death
>>I cheated on my girlfriend
>>I fucking lover her to death
>>I cheated on my girlfriend
>does not compute
>does not compute

You're one dumb motherfucker, for three reasons:
(1) You think you understand love at 17
(2) You cheated on a girl you claim to fucking love to death
(3) You're "not over" a break up that you not only caused (by cheating) but also finalized completely of your own free will.

This is the most retarded shit I have read in a long, long time.

I think when My mom and grandmother pass I'll finally kill myself I just don't think I could put them through that...

>>681066645
it can though.

>>681067160
That's probably what i'm gonna end up doing. Along with my grandfather, i wouldn't want to put them through that pain.

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>>681067313

>>681067160
My mom passed a couple of years ago. I dont pull the trigger because I know thats not what she would have wanted. She would want me to live and find happiness. Even when their gone anon, they still have an effect on your life. Your mom and grandma wouldnt want you to end your life. They would want you to continue and stay strong.

I'm gonna be straight with all of you, we need to learn to tell everything to fuck off, if you been on drugs, if you were cheated, if you lossed loved ones, if you just can't stand yourself, or if you just can't find a meaning in life or something to get you going, we need to tell to fuck off our toxic shit, we can't deny it is a burden that wastes many opportunities in our lives, we spend many years thinking of what happened, what went wrong, how could it have been or what could have been done, but we need to learn that it doesn't matter anymore, cause we're still alive, other people may have not have the same luck as us.
Others may have left us, but we're still able to roam, we may have gone through the shittiest of situations, but we came across it, forgetting is never easy, it may take years or decades, maybe we can't forget, but we can move on, fuck the past, fuck our shitty stuff, we won't make the same mistakes, fuck being sad, fuck everything that bring us down, even if it has the force to destroy the sun.
We get stuck self-loathing, just feeling bad but never making things to get ourselves to feel good, "I can't" we say, "I tried it before but it brings me right where I started, it's an endless cycle" fuck that, it can be done, you know how people say you have to "reinvent yourself"? What they say is that you look yourself in the mirror and tell your old self and feelings to fuck off, you don't need that toxic shit in your life.
Everyone makes the change differently, some go to religion, others go to groups of help, but the truth is that they only direct you to the problem you already know you have, and that's your inner shit, you have the power to end your sadness, you don't need anyone, we're all individuals, single minds, you just have to strongly decide one day that you won't do the same thing, that you will kill your old thoughts and feelings and become a better person, someone who can't be defeated, even less when the enemy is yourself.

>>681060765
Im sorry anon. /hug

>>681067456
What are you trying to make better, like what is the issue?

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>>681038763

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>>681067680
This guy gets it. I'd rather be made out of iron than ever to suffer the harm of being made out of tender flesh. Rock on, Anon.

>>681066992
Yes agree

>>681035923
Rip this.

i got cheated on a couple years ago. thought i was over it and started to build bridges with all the people involved, even started using facebook again. today my ex posted this story about this guy who got cheated on and called the girl names and what not. it took every fiber of my being to not snap and instead just come here. :/

How do you know that you really love someone or are you just lonely?

>>681068736
let me know when you figure that out

>>681060765
I lost my brother a couple years ago. We were very close, he was by far my best friend. Going through that was so much worse than the worst thing I could imagine before it happened, so I can't imagine what it has been like for you to lose your wife and children.

What I can tell you is that you can be happy again. Your life with them ended much earlier than you wanted it or expected it to, and it's tragic, BUT instead of dwelling on the past you need to try to just live in the now and realize that although that part of your life is over, you now have the opportunity to create a new life for yourself.

I have accepted my new life without my brother, and although I still miss him and love him like crazy and wish SO FUCKING BADLY that he were still alive and with me, he isn't. He is NOT alive and with me, so there is no point wishing it. It's a waste, and it blocks happiness.

Look into Taoism, it's very much about living in the present moment and accepting the way things are, embracing it, because things are the only way they can be, and exactly the way they're supposed to be, even if we don't yet understand why.

As a kid I went to a private school, and convinced my parents to let me into public school so I could be "normal" and took honors classes. I've never cared about my grades but now that I'm graduating in 9 days and I'm going to be an electrician instead of college, I can't get over the fact that my Dad paid for me to get a good education and constantly told me that he didn't want me to work and he wanted me to go to college and do all these great things and I've just gone against that. I feel like such a disappointment.

>Traumatically raped at 8
>Parents never acknowledged it, later makes me a dignoased pyschopath
fast forward to now
>Drug Addict Girlfriend
>Parents hate me
Choose not to kill myself due to fathers notoriety among community and don't want to embarrass parents
>All girlfriend wants to do is get high
sober me
>At a dead end
>Empty on the inside but look normal
>over achiever at really elite school in my state
I don't see myself living to see 2017, probably going to make my death look like an accident.

>>681069374
at least you're doing something with your life, well done for that
I dropped out of two colleges so I think I'm a bigger disappointment

>>681070064
Sorry anon

>>681065755
I actually like the losers of this thread until I realized my problem was I was addicted to self-pity. I'más actually quite happy now and I whish the rest could see everything happening to them its their fault and no one el a es.

>>681070064
college is a fucking waste of money

I graduated and have nothing to show for it but a piece of paper and 50,000 dollars of debt. I am working two jobs, neither of which require a degree.

You made the better choice, anon.

>>681071055
what are you fuckin gay?

>>681071055
Truth.
Happiness can only come form within yourself, not from anything or anybody external.

>>681071185
I'm a britfag so free
I had a conditional offer for uni before I dropped out the first time

>>681044699
I have a feeling she's not replying because of her problems. Maybe you should talk to her on the phone, since it's better to hear someone's voice than read text.

>>681035471
Tonight, I'm sad

>>681070014
Let's curve that.

>>681068838
I wish I can

>>681068894
Fuck. My condolences, anon. I live with my brother right now and I can't imagine how I would feel if he died. We're two years apart and have been pretty close our whole lives. He was my first friend.

>>681051914
I was in the same ship, she actually ended it because she realized how abusive she was and that I never would have. I think things are better now.

>>681035471
Mini story time for the feels
>be born
>dad runs away from family
>moms ex signs my birth certificate or however it works
>I have his last name
>he dotted in and out of my life
>dodging child support
>I resented him for it
>we move in with him because moms having hard time
>we reconnected slowly
>i start coming around to him
>he is okay
>we move out on our own feet again
>talk to dad every now and then
>we spend some bonding time together
>a couple days after my 17 birthday he winds up dead after OD
>I shutdown couldn't handle anything
>my bitch aunt seizes all his property and assets

It still hurts sometimes and also this is my first green text so yeah

>>681071763
Then you're in the right place, bucko

>>681053865
I hear you, right now I'm pretty sick. (Had a bad cold, followed by pink eye, and now the flu) so things arnt boring. But ya life is boring

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>>681071763
me too, anon
hold me

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>>681047486
>>681050069
This

>>681073081
>>681072897
Group hug anons. It'll get better

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>>681063017
We have all been there.

>>681072552
Thank you, I appreciate it.

Just do something for me: never take your brother for granted. Make sure he knows how important he is to you. Showing him is better than telling. Be the best brother you can be, and make the most of the time you have with him.

>>681064660
>when the only girl who ever loved you back ended it because you couldn't trust her.

>>681042850
This is a feels thread, not a YLYL thread

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I love you guys
I really do, you're amazing people
I know some of us need to be reminded of that sometimes

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>>681063017
>>681074248

>>681042850
This is a kind of bitter-sweet feel.