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A civilization killing asteroid will impact earth in 24 hours.
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
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Thread replies: 203
Thread images: 28
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A civilization killing asteroid will impact earth in 24 hours.

We only have enough room in the bomb shelter for 20 /b/tards.

What skills/resources do you posses, what are your other qualifications and WHY should we take you in?
>>
>>680872999
Bonus points if you're a girl and pretty
>>
I'm in the military I can get access to fire arms easily (from UK btw)
My dads a butcher so I'll get some big machetes. All this is for protection for the future of our own lives and stability.
Make sure nobody gets it of hand if you know what I mean.
>>
>>680873519
Cool, you can come on board. Can you hunt with those fire arms too? Assuming there is anything alive on the surface bigger than a squirrel.
>>
I'm white
>>
>>680872999
I'm a renowned tactician, recognized for my battle strategies on and off the field of Vietnam and Iraq. I'm also good with children
>>
>>680874111
Also he has trips, let him in
>>
>>680874503
Cringe. Keep this delusional paedophile out.
>>
>>680874111
Every white housemate I've ever lived with had unbelievable body odor
>>
I have a great personality...that's jus about it really. But still first come first serve yeah?
>>
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>>680872999
I'll please everyone everynight
>>
>>680874790
We can pack a few febreze and fragrant candles.
>>
I have no special skills or traits. I am average in every way and will not put forth much effort for anything. I skim by doing the bare minimum.

Thus I am the /b/tard that must persist into the new world.
>>
>>680872999
You should let me in because I would be the last /b/tard Chad Hybrid, in hopes of me teaching equilality to both sides to further the human race, teach one /b/tards how to do things like play football, shot and discus, and lift weights, and teach Chad's what's it like to be a beta male, by kicking the shit out of them and impregnating there women with my superior hybrid seed.
>>
>>680875147
You're allowed to hang around the entrance topside after the impact, but that's it.
>>
>>680875470
We will have the ruthlessness of a /b/tard and the alphaness of a Chad run through a new human race
>>
I know basic first aid and wound care, im a team player, have an IQ in the 120-130 range, fairly fit and not autistic. Ive also worked in water/sewer treatment and have knowledge of water purification.
>>
Let me in. I'm a b2 bomber pilot for the USAF
>>
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I'm 22 and a above average male

>pic related, I am a transgender.
>>
>>680875990
We do not need mental illness to taint the future genetics of the bunker population
>>
Im a >gril and a good cook.
>>
I have prior survivalist training (Army veteran), and am an incredibly skilled archer and hunter.

I can accurately hit from 100 feet on a moving target.

I can trap and fish, too, making my own tools.

Hey, you gotta eat, right? I'm your huntsman.
>>
>>680875990

Would still fuck
>>
>>680872999
you have to take me in because of diversity quotas!
>>
>>680875801
>>680876209
You two are in.

>>680876208
Maybe...are you a q t? Post pic first.
>>
I jerk off alot. So if you need someone to just jerk off im your dude
>>
Have hatchet have hunting knives, flint for fire, whetstones for cutting implements, have firearms and ammo, knowledge of hunting, trapping, fishing, cleaning animals, can weld, solid understanding of basic mechanical systems, have made makeshift shelters before, basic understanding of water purification

Tl;dr am a survivalist
>>
>>680872999
Been in the army for 8 years. Nurse and now a med-student. I have years of practice in emergency medicine and have been on the NRBC emergency team at the hospital for two years
>>
>>
>>680872999
Trips checked.

You don't need to. I'm OK with being kill.
>>
I was Hitler in my past life.
>>
I possess extensive knowledge of political systems. Without me, you will not know how to prevent the new civilisation from becoming a corrupt dictatorship, as will inevitably happen without proper guidance. I can manage the academic side of things, including teaching the new generation, and you can use me to offer advice on things based on what I know of similar past situations.
>>
I played semi-professional paintball for my country for 5 years, stopped due to taking a computer science degree.

I do not have actual 'military' experience, though as a young boy I spent many years in Air Cadets and hold a private pilots licence.
I have great firearms and hunting /fishing experience with knowledge on radio communication.

My family have all been in the military (South Africa) , with my grandfather spending 9 years killing niggers in Angola)
>>
Im a professional mechanic and did constuction including wiring plumbing and the works for quite a while. also im a good shot and trained with firearms and can hunt proficiently
>>
>>680877596
Nice you're in.
>>
i can make over 160 pizzas an hour
>>
>>680872999
Firearm experience, survival knowledge, scientific problem solving mind, best morale booster you'll find and an excellent jack of all trades. Very adaptable to new situations with a fuckton of know-how.
>>
>>680872999
Mechanic/combat driver here.
When you want supplies, you'll need to drive far and fast. A car won't be worth much if it runs like shit and swallows fuel like an Irishman at happy hour.

Vehicle maintenance, repair, tuning and off road and on road "obstacle negation" is a talent I've excelled in.

I drive efficiently.
>>
>>680874883
If that's really you then I've got a bomb shelter that needs your services
>>
7+1 ch.net/
this board
/res/5664989.html#5665151
>>
I'm the guy you send topside first to check everything out, give me a knife, machete and a gun and a week, I'd have a sustainable topside shelter and steady supply of food and water in that time.
>>
I'm a handyman, I can repair and build as needed.
>>
>>680877884
Come on let me in
>>
>>680872999
Skilled programmer, rifleman, and musician. I also have a working knowledge of physics and medicine. I'm quiet, fairly selfless, and I keep to myself with my books and writing.
>>
>>680872999
if you modify that food growing operation to an aquaponic system, im available to maintain it.

if you need a white guy to work as a myco farmer, im available for that as well

basically, if you need a non traditional farmer with capabilities to grow veg, fruits, fish, and mushrooms and also knows his memes, im available
>>
>>680878453
gl with that fallout m8, we dont expect you to make it so heres an empty can you can smash and sharpen for a weapon
>>
>>680877884
Rejected. You'll probably have bullshit intellectual argument with everyone while we’re trying to fix the toilet.

>>680876677
>>680877149

Mediocre!

>>680878308
>>680877340
>>680877158
You three are in

We’ve filled 6/20 spots. Anyone who doesn’t make the cut can still bum around on the surface and eat our scraps.
>>
>>680878130
Also have proffessional driver training and am an excellent chef. Basically if you need to know how to do something, keep from stabbing each other from boredom, get somewhere fast or need to replace somebody who is sick/injured I'm the guy to call.
>>
I have experience in agriculture, both plant and animal. I can perform shop processes such as welding (arc and mig), utilizing a cutting torch, various other tools. I have experience in gunsmithing and extensive use of firearms. I know how to make trot lines, use various nets, etc to gather fish. I know how to reload ammo, including the process of casting bullets. I can tell you how to find and kill nearly every animal in the Midwest United States. I know how to operate vessels and navigate large rivers safely. This is just off the top of my head.
>>
I'm a feminist and if you dont let me in you're sexist and raping me.
>>
I'm a biopharmacist, I know how to make drugs
I know chemistry
>>
>>680878897
Found dinner. Does that mean I'm in?
>>
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>>680878873
Trying this hard
>>
>>680872999
Trips I want to kill tai Lopez am I in?
>>
>>680878897
You're in. You will be used for breeding.
>>
>>680879252
Lol
>>
>>680872999
I have an 8" long, 6" girth cock, I always blow huge loads, I will rape and impregnate every woman in the shelter, and then rip your cuck asses to shreds. None shall defeat the power of my nigger cock. I shall further the species; you dumb cucks will just sit there stroking your neck beards, fantasising about your Uncles.
>>
>>680879348
Get off your phone
>>
I'm a botanist, I'll bring a variety of seeds for crops, and we can recycle our shit into manure to grow them.
>>
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>>680872999
I'm really good at fuckin OPs mom
she'd come over sometimes while her boyfriend was away after school.

once the door would close she'd almost instantly get naked. most times she'd put on her favorite song and start sucking. then she would cry. her tears and makeup would drip down her face onto my dick. its surprising how cold tears are. eventually i finally asked her what was wrong. in between licks she told me that her favorite song was also her bfs favorite song. so even though she loved hearing it and it totally got her pussy wet, it also made her think about the fact that she was cheating on her boyfriend. i dont think i ever came harder down somebodies throat then right after she told me that. she was beautiful. we dont hang out anymore. wanna get lunch?


this was the song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVI4Knz24CQ
>>
>>680879460
Nope
>>
>>680872999

I'm a Syrian refugee
>>
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I have knowlege in bioengeneering alge and electrical engeneering knowlege focusing on generators and have had a hobby of making small engines and homemade guns and ammo all my life, fostered by generations of my famly doing so. Before i got into bioengeneering science i was a infectious desease physician.

I can feed you, provide you warmth and protection, keep you from getting sick, crush your enemies, and teach sustainability . If you chose to close me out i will be your enemy, if i survive i will eat your face and poison your children with sickness.
>>
>>680879460
Get off your computer
>>
I'm a bottom
>>
>>680879764
Nice
>>
>>680872999
Me; air quality and ventilation specialist, formerly worked with water purification and quality control.

My girlfriend; Botonist and nutritional expert, works to help schools and organizations maximize food usage
(Also kinky and dtf)

Both swingers..
>>
Where is OP?
>>
I am the fastest learner anyone I have met knows, this is not my own comment of my skill but one others have told me. I have the inate ability to become highly skilled in any job/trade, I am a very valuable asset with a wide skill range. Highly dependable and come complete almost any task with very little guidance.
>>
>>680872999
I'm a vet, which means I can perform surgery, and perform post-mortem checks on animals before eating. I know all about zoonotic diseases and parasite treatment and prevention. I also have access to antibiotics, surgery kits and powerful drugs/painkillers. There's also the option of lethal injection (humane death) for anyone suffering from terminal injuries or illness.

I'm young, able-bodied, work out frequently, and have no illnesses physical or mental. Shotgun bottom bunk.
>>
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>>680872999
I can weld, blacksmith and other metalwork, as well as some basic woodworking and gardening
>pic unrelated
>>
>>680872999
Im a good liar so you idiots would end up letting me live regardless.
>>
I'm an atheist that will provide you with only the finest intellectual debate.
>>
>>680879694
>>680879483
>>680878873
>>680878673
>>680878638
>>680880301


>>680879993
You and the gf both are in, but you must share

>>680880284
You're definitely staying on the surface.

14/20 spots filled. Only SIX left
>>
>>680872999
I'm the token mixed guy, also a chef so I can cook everyone some pretty fucking tasty food
>>
>>680880690
Meant to say
>>680879694
>>680879483
>>680878873
>>680878673
>>680878638
>>680880301
You guys are in
>>
>>680880690
Thanks based OP
>>
>>680872999

I'm pretty good at Civ V so if you need someone to organize the empire after emerging I've got you. Also I'll shit in the air vents
>>
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i can wear a wig and learn to take things in the butt.
>>
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>>680872999
Electrician
>mfw you won't survive without me
>>
>>680877884
>>680878745
Fuck you! Enjoy your undemocratic, barbaric society! I'll make a democratic utopia on the surface. Then we will democratically bomb the shit out of you!
>>
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I am a dust mite, only feeding off the dead skin that drops off you, so no worry on food.

and im smol. wont take up much room.


pic related at a party. lost weight since then
>>
I know how to suck dick and turn the cum into food
>>
>>680872999

I'm fairly good with computers.

also I'll suck your dick.
>>
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im underage and will trade anal for shelter
>pic related
>>
>>680881429
>>680881432

>680881429's poster here...

Well I guess I can't compete with that.
>>
I can provide a lifetime of spaghettis, I usually carry a lot around in my pockets
>>
>>680872999

I'm a doctor. I've gone down the pathology route, but my basic training is still intact, as is my 4 years of medicine at university.
>>
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>>680872999
question. where are the fluffy clone vats?
>>
I can cook. I have a degree in computer sciences and im white
>>
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I can cook, organize, clean and troubleshoot. I can help keep everything running smoothly, help overcome problems and I learn how to do new tasks quickly.

I can also shoot pretty well and know how to handle a range of weapons.

I hope you don't mind me bringing my life partner with me. Pic related
>>
>>680872999
I have an ass
>>
>>680872999
I'm Mexican
>>
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>>680872999
I'll bring the weed
>>
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>>680872999
im an expert in human behavior, great administring shit and good with words. i can make the stay there pleasant and organize the society inside it so we dont kill eachother, also i got a lot of weed
>>
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Itt: OP trying to hide the fact that he has no skill whatsoever and fantasising about being locked up with military dudes.
>>
>>680872999
I will probably try my earnest best to kill everyone and then off myself. That way, Earth can finally be purged of us.
>>
Former U.S. Marines. Infantry. I also have a black belt in jiujitsu and spent a year in Thailand and fought 28 times.
About to get my PhD in chemistry.
I can make any drug you want. I made meth.
>>
>>680872999
I voted for donald
>>
>>680881432
Enjoy your ban.
>>
>>680874519
kek
>>
I would pretend to be a girl. And all of you are my boyfriends.
>>
I'm a jew, the new world is gonna need some cucks.
>>
I'm a medfag AND in the army. That means I'm trained in combat, treatment of combat related wounds (gunshots and stabwounds) and normal med knowledge.

I can lead people but also can obey orders.
Sporty, young.
>>
I have 10 years of quality memes stored on a 3 terabyte hard drive. Would you risk loosing world largest rare Pepe collection?
>>
>>680872999
I can deep throat
>>
I'm an annoying female. (;
>>
>>680872999
I'm a clinical pharmacist with knowledge of natural product therapy which would be especially helpful if we are out of medications
>>
>>680881429
You're out, computers would be mostly useless after the crash. We might trade with you every now and then.

>>680881641
>>680880309
You two are in


>>680881831
You're out, and we will take your weed at gun point.

>>680881745
You are in, but we are going to eat your dog.

>>680881918
We'll eat you too


17/20 spots filled
>>
im a machinist and welder with some carpentry skills , also have knowledge of first aid and boy scout skills. im also great with counceling people.
>>
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I'll start my own bunker with blackjack and hookers
>>
>>680872999
I've got some super dank weed
>>
>>680878313
with exercise? he'd be a great punching bag.
>>
>>680872999
MD
>>
i will provide protection being 6"4 and being a very big gun guy and will put myself in stutiation were i know i wont make it out
>>
>>680882811
No they wouldn't you dumb shit. A meteor big enough to create that much damage takes the whole earth down.
>>
>>680872999
i got the force awakens on blu-ray
>>
Although an underachiever; my knowledge in chemistry is not to be taken lightly. You would be surprised how much falls under my area of expertise. Whether you need medicine, poisons for hunting/trapping, or resolve a matter of illumination or electricity, I can help.
While a bit older than many would feel a survivor should be, I have extensive experience in teaching, and can definitely pass on my knowledge before I die. About my death, it will probably be sooner rather than later; as sadly I have a terminal disease.

I've said all I needed to say. If you want me, just say my name, and I will knock on your door.
>>
>>680881240
Perfect roommate 10/10
>>
>>680882811
>i will provide protection being 6"4 and being a very big gun guy and will put myself in stutiation were i know i wont make it out
>>
I am an extremely fit, 20yr old male. I'm sure you can find a use for that. Also I am really knowledgable with computers, farming, and can bring culture to the place with my writing
>>
>>680883232
also hick can fix anything with nothing
>>
I mean, I have mild autism but i can keep you all entertained
>>
I am a 15y old male, live in australia and work on a large rural property, therefore i have basic-semi advanced knowledge on how to build shit, i can drive heavy machinery (not of much help but hey) i can study and become advanced in whatever occupation you want as i am still young. Basically a pretty handy youth who will study an occupation of your choosing to better the new world
>>
>>680883246
Also the writing can be used to pass on the chronicals of the mighty fucking fag OP
>>
>>680883441
Underage b&
>>
>>680872999
-knocks on door- Hello, I'm totally not a mutant can you let me in
-deathclaw sounds being made on the door-
>>
I have knowledge and practice in mechanics, welding, metal working, electricity both residential and industrial. I also can play a guitar.
>>
>>680872999
im vegan
you're welcome
>>
>>680883604
Im on with my parents permission ;)
>>
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I'm a sociopath. If you need someone killed, I'll do it for fun. Also, I know how to take my thumb off with magic tricks... so there's that.
>>
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>>680883798
>>
The FitnessGramâ„¢ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
>>
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read em and weep chads, i have been training for this day
>>
>>680872999
I climax extremely quickly so I can help repopulate the world quickly and efficiently.
>>
>>680883778
triggered.
>>
>>680884254
Kek
>>
>>680872999
I'm a mechanic and engineer. I also am working on a botany degree.
>>
Three spots left, we need to get pickier.

>>680883163
You're out. I hope you don't write your cover letters like this.
>>680883150
You give up too easily, you’re out.
>>680883143
>>680883161
>>680883439
>>680883441
>>680883778
Mediocre
>>680883032
No thanks, we have some already.

C’MON WHERE ARE ALL THE CUTE GURLS, WE NEED TO REPOPULATE THE EARTH
>>
I know how to build a basic 8bit computer so if evrrything is lost we can at least start over from there
>>
I'm a priest, but an unbeliever. That means that I know the mass control game; but don't swallow the bullshit. How do you plan to lead a pack of survivors? What assures you they will not revel and each try to go on their own, or sacrifice the rest for their own gain? They need to be afraid of something greater than them; they need a reason to follow morals aside from just their goodness of their heart.

I will scare them to death, the fear of God. They will go to sleep praying and wake up thanking divinity for their mercy. They will work for free, they will work happy, they will value life, and whoever tries to change our way of life will be immediately killed. They will have a reason to live, a drive.

You need me.
>>
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I can supply us with banana pictures that I really really like
>>
Geology student, and 4:07 miler
>>
>>680883441
Also i am small so i can fit in tight places, ill be the front line, and i can be a good scout if needed
>>
>>680884487
You kicked out fucking Walter White? Nigga u dumb.
>>
>>680872999
I will be everyones butt slut
>>
>>680884755
Agreed
>>
>>680872999
Good at sailing gardening, therapy, and I work well with livestock. Not horrible with a gun but I have to aim for like te n seconds to get a good shot, no good in a firefight. Premed so probably more of a stitch-em-up type.
>>
>>680872999
I'm a motherfucking GOD.
>>
>>680883441
Being able to learn things would be fucking useless if everyone who could teach you things is dead
Fucking retard
>>
>>680884768
The botanist is taking this one elsewhere because we are lacking butt sluts.
>>
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>>680885082
Hnnnng can i have some seed first master?
>>
>>680872999

I give free blowjobs and I love to swallow cum
>>
I have extensive knowledge of have to fly a plane, as i have been a military pilot and a commercial pilot. I also know how to fly Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A hippo is heavy but a zippo is a little lighter (including double rotor helicopters) i also know how to work on all of these helicopter and planes and am currently studying to become an engineer, namely an aeronautical engineer, which will be helpful for building aerofoils when needed
>>
>>680882753
How about you let me in so you don't die of infection you son of a bitch
>>
>>680885354
Apparently i also paste random jokes in my posts...
>>
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I can make hipster coffee.
>>
>>680885346
Lets be cum sluts together anon?
>>
>>680885319
What kind do you want? I got tomato, corn, onion, wheat, and my seed. I'll be generous and give the dirty slut a choice.
>bringing my whip, lube and rope in my apocalypse bag.
>>
>>680885346
The botanist takes this one too.
>>
>>680885645
HNNNNNNG coooorn
>>
>>680885757
Very wise choice, but you have to beg on your knees like a proper slave.
>>
i hate black people, now let me in.
>>
>>680885944
Pleaaaase master can this little slut have some seed?
>>
>>680884509
>>680885354
Useless. We are not that ambitious. Are priorities are to scavange enough rat carcasses to feed everyone, not rebuild a high technology civilization.
>>680884574
No we don’t
>>680884921
Surface
>>680885366
Say please
>>
>>680875990
fake
>>
>>680886088
-runs a bag of corn seed across your lips and slaps your ass hard- beg little slut, beg!
>>
Because I am a transcomache AH-64 attack helicopter with 30mm nose cannon and hellfire rocket pods.

Plz let me in.
>>
>>680886330
Harder please slap me harder master i love it when your rough
>>
>>680879694
I also have a hot cousin with no skill who wants in, female 28. No skill. If you let er in you can attempt to impregnate her first.
>>
>>680884914
>>680886163
>>
Im australian, I dont eat much, I was ex army and retired police officer

Do it
>>
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will be cum slut for hardcore drugs, let me in
>>
I CAN PLAY FLUTE WITH MY NOSE
>>
>>680886450
-shoves the bag of seed in your mouth and pushes your head to the ground, raising your ass level to my cock, slapping it and firmly grabbing your ass- that's it show me what a filthy whore you are.
>>
im a legendary memer, known as one of the best around the world. I help dying people with sick mays mays
>>
>>680872999
Check'd

I know accounting
>>
>>680886163
So you don't need a GOD..........I could help you so much........Guess its time for Operation 0...enjoy a death worst than being reincarnated
>>
I'm a pretty good musician and I can fish, sail, construct canoes, and also I'm a dank memelord
>>
>>680886871
Fuck me master make me your little cum slut im worthless i was made to pleasure your cock
>>
>>680887008
go to bed kid.
>>
File: chip.png (30 KB, 225x302) Image search: [Google]
chip.png
30 KB, 225x302
I know how to grow high grade marijuana indoors.
Plus I got a bag of chips
>>
I'm a navy seal with over 300 confirmed kills and i have training in gorilla warfare
>>
>>680872999
Mechanic, welder, precision machinist.
>>
>>680887117
Hmmmm a kid telling a god to go to bed. Hmmmmmm you go to bed you tiny pimpsquichk, I'll just be creating my personal army.
>>
>>680884048

awwww ssshhiiieeeeettt,,, dat nigguh gots a rings o powa!!!
>>
>>680874790
that's because people sweat when they work.

not that you'd know anything about that worthless nigger kek
>>
>>680886163
Please
>>
>>680887111
-squirts a generous amount of lube across your ass and penetrates you with two fingers, working them deeper as I use the other hand to stroke lube onto my own cock, running the head slowly up your thigh- beg for it and you'll fucked like a cum slut deserves.
>>
Fuck you OP, Caesar will come for your pitiful bomb shelter and turn your women into slaves for the praetorians.
>>
Op do another set, I wanna see if I got in fagg
>>
I would be the fuck toy. Anybody is welcome. As long as I don't have to do anything else.
>>
I won't kill you. Probably.
>>
>>680887609
Your in
>>
>>680887609
The botanist claims this one as well.
>>
You took like 6 army guys with the same skills and passed the first mechanic. I don't want to be in your shelter. You're not delegating seats very well.
>>
>>680887509
Please fuck me i cant take it anymore i need that big thick cock inside me Master
>>
>>680886570
Eh, why not.
>>680886669
> I was ex army and retired police officer
Sure If you look like the pic
>>680886456
We will take your hot cousin.

20/20 spots filled, including TWO women

EVERYONE GET OUT, WE HAVE TOO MANY MOUTHS TO FEED
Substitutions are still possible if your qualifications are better, or you are a woman of breeding age.
>>
>>680887716
But what if you wanna fuck or get sucked and bot person is busy with plants and shit? Im open 24/7.
>>
>>680887813
Forgot pic
>>
>>680887739
Wanna join Caesar's legion? You can have your complimentary sex slaves and sword after you've survived a couple nights in the gladiator pits
>>
>>680887841
Nah you can suck the botanist while I work. I'm always open. I never turn down a soul in need of cum.
>>
>>680872999
I have military experience, now plumbing, welding, carpentry, and have some construction experience, and smithing in general. I have a small arsenal and can get access to more guns, supplies, and other necessary items.

I also, have a degree in biomedical engineering and some knowledge of technology both consumer and industrial.

I'll leave my application at the door.
Thread replies: 203
Thread images: 28

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